Xmen: Friends of Humanity
by Stormkpr
Summary: The first book in my trilogy. FOH are taking over earth and the X-men must fight back. WARNING - contains some disturbing scenes; not suitable for children. COMPLETED
1. Default Chapter

**X-men: Friends of Humanity**

_No copyright infringement intended, and thank you to all my beta testers (who know who you are). This fic is based largely on the characters as they appear in X-men: The Animated Series. _

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**Chapter 1**

It was Hank who encouraged me to come back to the team. He tracked me down and appeared on my doorstep (or, more accurately, my apartment lobby) one afternoon. I hugged him as soon as I saw him, my old pal, and we were seated in my apartment when he began attempting to convince me.

"I've missed you, Bobby. We all have," Hank stated. "It's time for you to come back."

I gazed at my old friend's huge, blue form. His appearance had changed little since the years I'd last seen him. And as always, Hank was right and I knew it. I had taken a break from the X-men for the last seven years. I left the team when I was a suicidal closeted young man who continually put the team's missions in jeopardy.

I smiled and looked down at my beer. "You were the one who encouraged me to go into therapy," I said.

"Sometimes when we are unable to deal with our problems on our own, it is best to take a break and enlist professional help," Hank said in his calm voice. "It has been a few years since we last spoke, old friend, but you had said at that time you were glad you were working with Dr. Winters."

"Oh, I am. I guess I never really thanked you for it." I was too ashamed to say more. I've always been terrible at correspondence. Since I now live on the opposite coast from the X-men, phone calls were expensive. I hardly ever pick up a pen to write a letter and I never check my emails. Hank (and, occasionally, Jean Grey or the Professor) would call, leave a message or write. I almost never replied.

Guilt finally made me speak up and say more. "I'm sorry I didn't make a better effort to keep in touch with you. You saved my life, Hank and I mean it. I was damn near suicidal at the time, and you saw that. Working with Dr. Winters really helped me. I've been out of therapy for almost two years now."

"I'm very glad to hear that, my friend."

Therapy did wonders for me, but I didn't elaborate on it to Hank. Living in a suburb of San Francisco helped me find others like myself, though none of them were also mutants. I got over the self-loathing that made my performance as an X-man so weak. And for the past few years, I had secretly wanted to return to the team, though I was too embarrassed with the way I neglected to keep in contact with my old teammates to try to contact them.

Outside we heard the blaring of a loud boom box and the noise of high trucks lumbering down the busy road. Hank looked around my cramped, shoebox apartment. I think we might've wanted to say, "Nice place," but it clearly would've been a lie.

"So, how are things?" Hank asked instead. "Are you still with Michael?"

I was pretty touched that he asked, since so many people would just avoid the subject. I smiled. "Wow, it * has* been a while since we last spoke. He and I broke up years ago! It's ok. It was time to end that relationship." I said, faking a smile. What else could I say? No one wants to date a mutant. Even here on the West coast, I can't find someone to spend my life with.

"What about you?" I asked. I guess that was dumb of me. Though Hank rarely expressed any sadness or anger over it, it was obvious that his mutation pretty much precluded him from having a relationship. He towered over me and barely seemed to fit on the beaten up old sofa.

Hank smiled. "My work with the X-men will have to take the place of any relationship for me. I am content to be among friends and working for good."

"So, how's the rest of the team?" I asked. I really was curious.

"Same as it ever was. Professor X still leads us. He often asks about you, and I know he's written you a few times. Storm and Cyclops are sharing leadership of the team on missions. Both are wonderful leaders. Jean and Cyclops were married a few years ago. Wolverine is basically his old self. A young woman named Jubilee has joined the team and she's doing well. Did you meet Gambit?" I shook my head. "He's a Cajun man who's on the team. He's got the power to charge objects and hurl them at enemies. And Rogue-did you meet Rogue?"

"Isn't she a bad guy?"

"She was, but we've taken her in and reformed her. She's very powerful and I'm glad she's on our side."

"So," I said, a smile spreading. "Give me the scoop on everyone. Who's in love and out of love? Any gay mutants?" I used to love to provoke Hank like this, since he hates gossiping about anyone. We both admitted it was one of my shortcomings and traits like these always made Hank and I such a good contrast to each other.

"There are not any gay mutants that I know of on the team," Hank answered. I was half expecting him not to answer my gossipy question at all. Hank paused. "But the reason for my visit was not to talk about our personal lives."

Hank drew a deep breath and continued. "The Friends of Humanity are out of control. Mutants are being hunted like prey. Hatred against mutants is getting worse every day. As you know, Kelly is no longer President, and President Fitzpatrick is heavily funded and supported by FOH and other anti-mutant groups. FOH has some new power source that we can't identify." He paused again. "Our school was firebombed. No one was seriously injured, but emotionally we're shaken."

My mouth fell open and eyes widened. "I'm shocked. I had no idea prejudice against mutants was so bad." What could I say? I don't watch the news and hardly read a paper. I've been spending too many days laying on the beach, reading trashy gay novels, and waiting for a Mr Right who doesn't mind that I'm a mutant to come along. I spent my days trying to forget that my family in Michigan doesn't want anything to do with me, and that they don't even know that I'm a mutant. My computer programmer job affords me little human contact other than with my cranky boss. In the past ten years, humans had mastered space travel, sending manned starships into space, but I'd hardly noticed or cared.

Hank went on to elaborate on the gravity of the situation. The federal Mutant Registration Act had passed (yes, I registered) and 38 states passed even stricter laws. Hate crimes against mutants were soaring but police acted as if the problem didn't exist. At least three mutants were brutally murdered in the last 2 months. The media was controlled by FOH supporters, with mutants regularly being portrayed on TV and in movies as depraved, sinister and out of control. Newspapers carried stories about mutants only when we were portrayed in a negative light. FOH had complete control of the Republican party and it was estimated FOH membership had increased by more than 12 times in the past 4 years. In the meantime, unemployment and inflation were skyrocketing, and several areas were experiencing severe environmental devastation-and mutants were being blamed for everything.

"It is extremely serious, Bobby," Hank said. "And it is not just in the US-mutants are being hated and discriminated against in every country in the world. I have not read about such hatred and scapegoating of a group of people since Germany when Hitler rose to power. We are in serious trouble." He looked straight at me. "We all need to band together. Every last mutant on the planet. There are so few of us and so many of our fellow human beings want to `exterminate' us."

His words were sobering. I sat still for a long time. "Wow." I finally said. "I had no idea."

"Professor Xavier would like you to rejoin the team. We all would."

I held his serious eyes, and then looked away. "Yeah, right," I laughed bitterly. "So I can be a freak among freaks. I'm sure all those macho men on the team are going to feel great working with a *gay* man."

"I tell you honestly that it would not be an issue. Bobby, we are *all* freaks and I think because of that, X-men are all very tolerant of differences in other people. In all my years on the team, I have never once heard anyone say something negative about you because of your sexual orientation."

I looked intently at Hank. He was probably the most honest and trustworthy person I had ever met. But doubts and lingering self-hatred crept in. "I dunno, Hank. Some of the guys on the team are so…..tough. You know what I mean. Like, someone like *Wolverine*. You think he is going to be tolerant of me? He can get berserk sometimes-what if he takes it out on me someday?"

"Wolverine definitely has his wild side, there is no question of that. But he controls it well enough and his heart, in its essence, is good. Besides, before he came to our team he was a member of Alpha Flight, remember? Northstar has always been openly gay. I never once heard Wolverine say a negative word about Northstar because of his sexuality."

I raised an eyebrow at that, as another negative thought entered my mind. "What about my past history with the X-men? I messed up more than once on missions. I never was the best at combat or at controlling my powers. And I hardly ever use them now, so I am really out of shape."

"We have a training center at headquarters. You can get back into shape, slowly and gradually at your own pace." Hank leaned towards me. "I know you have trouble believing in yourself. You've had your share of hard knocks in life. I'm here to ask you to believe in yourself and trust that you can be a team member again. Come back with me, Bobby. Why not use this chance to make a difference in the world? What else do you have to lose?"

It was his last sentence that got me. I *had* nothing else and I had no one else. I had just turned 30 and was going no where in life, doing nothing. Hank was one of the few people in my life who accepted me the way I was. Although I resisted and protested for a few more hours, I returned to New York with Hank.

"Next time we throw a beach party, I'd be glad to hold the keg of beer again," I joked during the trip, and we smiled at the good memories that came back. My emotions were a mix of fear and excitement.

* * *

Back at the X-mansion, the mood was grave. It was tense during a time when every day the situation felt worse. Although anti-mutant groups had attempted to burn it down a few weeks ago, the X-men had swiftly fixed the damage to the mansion. The damage to their spirits would be harder to repair.

Rogue and Gambit watched the Professor silently as he concentrated with Cerebro. Reaching the limits of his patience and endurance, the Professor set Cerebro down and rested his head in his hands.

Rogue watched, stunned. She had never seen him so dejected, not even last month when one of the Morlocks they had taken in had been beaten to death by FOH members.

"Professor?" Rogue asked, tentatively. She gently placed a hand on the man's shoulder. His age was catching up with him, the lines on his face had seemed to deepen in the last few months.

"Magento is dead. I'm sure of it now," Charles whispered, his voice almost breaking. He turned to Rogue and Gambit. "I wish to be alone, my X-men."

The couple nodded and left the room. Gambit placed his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.

"I can't believe it," Rogue said as they made their way down the hall.

"Me neither, chere," Gambit said. Both felt fear rising in their hearts, seeing their leader so distraught. As every month passed, it seemed mutants were more and more under attack, and FOH grew stronger and stronger.

Cyclops, Jean, Storm, Colossus and Jubilee returned the next day. They shared their findings with the team. FOH had somehow raided Magneto's headquarters and destroyed everything. Professor X was certain now that not only Magneto but also Mystique, Sabertooth and three of Magneto's other cronies had been killed.

"I never thought I'd be sad to hear of their deaths," Wolverine said under his breath to Gambit. Gambit nodded. The specter of FOH being more powerful than Magneto and his group was terrifying.

Cyclops explained to the rest of team what they had seen. "The ties FOH has to the military must be even stronger than we thought," Cyclops said. "Magneto's headquarters was destroyed by powerful energy weapons, weapons more potent than anything we have."

"We also now have proof that FOH is using the Space Exploration Department's starships," Storm added.

"This is nuts!" Wolverine interjected, standing up. "Those fuckers are a hate group. The damn Fitzpatrick administration has given them free reign to use their starships?"

Storm nodded. "It would appear that way." She spread her hands. "We know that FOH has millions of members and contributes multiple millions of dollars to the Republican party every year. They are the party in power. Obviously they need to pay their debts off to FOH, and it would seem that FOH has free reign over the military and its space exploration wing."

Wolverine sat back down, glancing across the room at Jean Grey. She sat next to Cyclops, wringing her hands, stress and pain evident on her face. Cyclops periodically lay his hand comfortingly across her arm or rubbed her back. Wolverine eyed them longingly for a moment until Jean caught his glance..

"We need to be prepared." Cyclops said. "That firebombing incident here last month was nothing compared to what they did to Magento's headquarters."

After the sobering meeting, Rogue and Gambit walked out together, holding hands. "I can't believe Mystique is dead," Rogue said, looking down. "I know she wasn't a saint. Hell, she's probably giving Lucifer a scare right `bout now. But she did have her good qualities."

"She gave you a home, chere. She took you in," Gambit said softly.

"She was the only real mother I had. She loved me back when I couldn't even love myself. That's why I feel sad that she's dead, even though she did so many downright awful things in her life." Rogue shook her head. She didn't wish to dwell on this subject any longer. A smile broke out across her face as she got some ideas about things should * would* like to do be thinking about instead. "Hey, sugar," she said, lightly rubbing Gambit's shoulder, "you look like you could use a backrub."

Gambit's unique eyes widened. "Did you suddenly get Jean's powers? I was jus thinking dat dere's nothing I want more right now than a backrub, chere."

The couple made their way to Gambit's room. He stripped to the waist as Rogue reached into the nightstand's drawer for a special pair of satiny gloves the couple often used. They faced each other, longing more than anything to be able to kiss. Rogue placed a piece of the satiny cloth over Gambit's face and their lips touched briefly through the material. The couple had learned to be satisfied with this.

Rogue's gloved hands worked their way against Gambit's knotted muscles. Gambit moaned with obvious pleasure as his tense muscles slowly relaxed. "Dat feels so good," he whispered. Rogue gazed at her lover's back and shoulders, wishing she could take the gloves off, wishing she could take her tongue and lick his sinewy form. The area between her legs grew hotter and wetter.

"Why not let Gambit reciprocate now, chere?" the Cajun asked after some time had passed. Rogue turned to face her man. With a glint in her eyes, she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. The swell of her breasts could already be seen through her white button-down shirt. Seeing Gambit's desire written across his face, Rogue grinned as she took excruciatingly long to unbutton a single button. When she had finally finished her task, she allowed the shirt to fall to the floor. The rounds of her breasts peaked out above her bra. Gambit's erection grew as he wished he could reach in, cup her breasts, slowly lick the flesh….

Both knew they had to be cautious when Rogue disrobed. She stepped back and gave Gambit even more pleasure by unzipping her tight jeans. She turned away from him as she slowly worked the jeans down, giving Gambit a view of her backside. Her panties barely concealed her smooth, round bottom. Rogue turned again to face Gambit as she unbuckled and removed her bra. A moaning noise escaped from Gambit and he reached for the strips of satin they both kept near their beds. His hands protected by the silky material, he cupped and fondled her breasts. Rogue threw her head back and whispered, "Yes, oh yes…." as Gambit worked his fingers around her erect nipples, circling them and gently pinching them. She shuddered with excitement.

After some time, Rogue sat down on the footstool Gambit had been on, and Gambit knelt behind her to massage her back. The satin felt smooth and warm as Gambit worked his hands best he could while carefully keeping the material between them. Gambit fleetingly thought how difficult their lovemaking was-they both yearned to touch each other but neither could completely let down their guard at any point. Gambit's life depending on their using caution. But they loved each other deeply so their efforts were well worth it.

Rogue enjoyed the massage for many long moments, before turning around. Gambit's eyes again widened at the site of her beautiful breasts and the look of lust on her face. She gestured for her lover to remove the rest of his clothing. Gambit quickly stripped off his pants and briefs, exposing his erect manhood. Rogue's desire was in her eyes as she sensuously licked her upper lip. The craving they both felt hung in the air.

"Sugar, I gotta touch you," Rogue moaned.

Gambit gestured at the bed and the couple both lay down. They often enjoyed touching through a full length satin sheet. The couple lay side by side, the sheet in between them. Their hands worked all up and down the sheet, feeling outlines of chests, shoulders, bellies, legs. Gambit spent several moments stroking Rogue's legs through the silky material. They then experienced the joy of full body contact when Rogue lay on top of Gambit, his body covered from neck to foot with the sheet. Her body weight pressed into him. Gambit had to fight the urge to kiss her, as their faces were near. Rogue was forced to ensure her head didn't dip down too much towards her lover. She loved feeling her torso against his, the burning in her groin against his hardness, their legs entwined through the covering.

Rogue sensuously ground her hips against Gambit's form. He groaned with obvious pleasure as she worked her hips against his covered form. It felt so good. Rogue could feel she was getting closer to climaxing.

Slowly, like a cat, Rogue moved to face away from Gambit so she perched on all fours. She still wore her panties, but removed them under his watchful gaze. "You like this, don't you?" she asked, turning her head. Gambit frankly adored the site of her naked posterior and he moaned in reply to her question. She gave him time to absorb the view as she spread her legs just a bit.

The sheet was eventually removed and the lovers moved to the floor. They sat facing each other. As Gambit massaged his hardened cock, Rogue caressed her breasts. She then spread her legs wide and began massaging the throbbing clitoris and wet lips. Gambit took his hands from his manhood and forced himself to back a few steps away from her. Every instinct in his body was urging him to leap towards her, kiss her lips, and penetrate her. Fighting this instinct always challenged him, but at least it was a sweet sort of torture.

The lovers continued to admire each other and race towards a climax together. Rogue thrust fingers from one hand inside her as she continued to work her clit. She loved looking at Gambit and his turgid cock, wet with precum. She wanted more than anything to take it in her hands, take it in her mouth, let him fuck her till they were both senseless. "Sugar…..oh Sugar…." she moaned as her crisis approached. Wave after wave of pleasure overtook her as Gambit's lust broke shortly after. He spurted his creamy tribute to their love all over himself.

Occasionally Gambit would insert a few fingers - carefully gloved, of course, with heat-sensitive latex material from Hank's laboratory – and bring Rogue to ecstasy that way. And Rogue could put on such gloves and similarly please her lover. Sometimes they would do what they could to orally love each other by using other latex materials. Rogue would take a few tentative licks at Gambit's condom-clad rod. Or Rogue would lay spread on the edge of bed, hugging her legs to herself as Gambit knelt at the side, licking her through the latex barrier. But neither of them liked the latex taste, and they always held back since pleasuring each other this way brought Gambit perilously close to Rogue's bare skin. They longed to be able to do more, but any other body contact could prove deadly.

Later on that night, they lay spooned together. Both had to fully dress again and carefully ensure that a pillow separated the back of Rogue's face and neck from Gambit. Gambit scooted down on the bed so he could kiss her back, her arms, her hands. "Gambit loves you, mon amor….I love you, I love you," he murmured, placing a kiss for each declaration of love. Rogue sighed and returned the sentiments, feeling more in love than she ever had in her life. She never for a moment doubted his love-what other man would put up with this? For the time being, at least two mutants forgot about the hatred and oppression they faced on a daily basis.

* * *

"Iceman! I am so glad you're back!" Jean Grey enthused as she hugged me in the mansion's doorway. I returned the hug, enjoying it. I had always liked Jean.

"Welcome back, Bobby," Cyclops said. Cyclops gave me a man's man hug, stiff and to the point.

I looked at the happy couple. Didn't anyone age around here? They both looked great and I told them so. "So I hear you two tied the knot," I said, awkwardly trying to think of something to say. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Jean said. "You did get the wedding invitation, right?"

Gulp. Not only didn't I attend, but I doubt that I bothered to send a gift either. "I did….I'm sorry I couldn't be there." Trying to change the subject, "So, do you two have any little mutants yet?"

Cyclops chuckled. "Not yet." He and Jean looked at each other smiling, their adoration apparent. How did some people get to be so lucky? They both said in unison, "But someday we will."

I wondered what they were waiting for. If they were hoping the climate for mutants would improve someday soon, it didn't look likely.

"Well," Hank said, "Let's get your things to your new room and then I'll re-acquaint you with this place."

"I'll handle that," Jean offered. She used her powers to float my belongings up to my room.

Hank gave me the tour. When we passed the training room, he noted that I would be spending a lot of time there. Given how rusty I was with using my powers, I had no reason to doubt him.

I was introduced or re-introduced to the team. First Hank brought me to Jubilee, who I took to right away. She was outgoing and friendly. Despite everything that was happening, she seemed innocent and…cheerful, even. I guessed her age to be about 19 or 20.

I was surprised when Storm hugged me. She joined the team during the last two of my previous seven years on it. My last two years on the team were the worst….I was sullen and moody, barely speaking to anyone except Hank and making mistake right and left on missions. I may have been suicidal, but I was also at risk of getting my ass killed on missions because I was so incompetent. Storm's forceful personality had always intimidated me a bit, but I sensed no animus when she hugged me that afternoon.

Wolverine curtly shook my hand. That man really intimidates me, always had. At least this time I looked at him when Hank brought me around instead of looking at my shoes. I wondered if he was still in love with Jean Grey or if he'd moved on and found someone else.

Rogue and Gambit seemed friendly enough. She definitely was a firecracker but it was hard to believe she'd ever been a bad guy, fighting on Mystique's side. Mystique…I couldn't believe she and Magneto were dead. Maybe that's why everyone was so friendly. Those of us in the mansion knew we might be close to being the last of our kind.

Hank introduced me to a few other team members before taking me to see the Professor. We entered the old man's study and he wheeled towards us, shaking my hand. I don't remember what he said but I remember being flooded with affection for him. His sadness over his old friend and foe's death was apparent as was the knowledge that we were losing. But he had such a quiet dignity and a real love for his mutants. I do remember that he told me how much he had missed me, and I believed him. I told him that I had worked with a psychologist and was feeling much better. He seemed genuinely glad to hear that.

"We're glad to have you back, Bobby," the Professor said. "You'll be a great addition to our team."

I couldn't resist cracking a smile, "The team must be in pretty bad shape if I'm going to be a `great addition.'"

Hank offered to help me unpack and I relished the chance to talk in private. As soon as we were in my room, I turned to him and hugged him. "I am *so* glad to be back!" I said.

He returned the hug. "That is wonderful to hear." Hank is so cool. He's never been the least bit shy or awkward about hugging me.

"Hank, this is going to sound corny, but I feel like I'm coming home."

* * *

A excited Jubilee bounded into the recreation room. She found Storm, Jean, Wolverine and Gambit playing poker.

"Call your bet and raise it five," Wolverine said, placing his chips into the middle. Gambit eyed his cards, eager to once again demolish his fellow X-men at poker.

"Hi everyone!" Jubilee greeted the group. "I'm so excited! Have you all met Bobby? He's so cute!"

Gambit smirked and jokingly mocked Jubilee's tone, grasping his hands to his heart. "Oh, he's sooooo cuuuuute!"

Jubilee rolled her eyes at her teammate's playful teasing. "He is!" Jubilee clasped her hands together. "Such eyes! And lips! You guys, he was gorgeous! What do you know about him? Does he have a girlfriend?"

Storm and Jean exchanged a look. Jean tilted her head and used her eyes to indicate how Storm should answer. "Well, Jubilee, to the best of my knowledge, Bobby is gay," Storm said simply.

Jubilee's face fell. "Gay? Really?"

"Whoa! He is?" Gambit asked, lowering his cards to the table.

Jean spread her hands, shooting Gambit a look. "From what I understand, he was gay when he left the team seven years ago. So unless he's had a change of heart…..I wouldn't get my hopes up, Jubilee."

"Oh, bummer!" Jubilee pouted.

Jean turned to Gambit. "Are you going to be ok with that?" He easily picked up on her serious tone and detected that this was no time to continue joking.

"Long as he keeps his hands off Gambit, dis is okay with me," the Cajun answered.

"The Bobby I knew was very shy and retiring," Jean told him. "I don't think you have anything to be worried about."

"So what happened? Why did he leave the team?" Jubilee persisted.

Storm took a deep breath, "As I understand it, he left for personal reasons. If you want to learn anymore, you'll have to ask Iceman yourself. Gossiping is disrespectful to the team."

"You're right," Jubilee said. "I'm sorry." She sat down at the table, "Will you deal me in, Wolverine?"

The friends continued their card game, enjoying the break. The stress of the last several months had been getting to all of them, and the Professor was adamant that they take regular breaks from training. They felt only slightly guilty for enjoying the card game. And Gambit did indeed win most of the hands.

* * *

I got my ass kicked whenever I entered the dreaded training room. No matter which simulated X-men or foes I was pitted against, I lost. Even Jubilee managed to beat me.

"Do not get discouraged, old friend," Hank said soothingly during lunch one day. "It takes time."

"I know," I said. "Believe it or not, I'm doing ok and I'm not that discouraged. I do see an improvement," I ventured.

"There has been a definite improvement in the last two weeks. And I've noticed something very positive."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Even though you don't pose the biggest threat to potential enemies, you are fighting well as a team member. Your actions aren't endangering your fellow X-men."

"Yeah, but they're not endangering Sinister or Apocalypse either!" I said with a smile. "No, seriously I know what you say, and you're right. Seven years ago I was a threat to the team."

"That's definitely changed," Hank said.

"I just hope this will hold true on the real battlefield," I said. Even though I was able to say the word "battlefield" with ease, I can't say I was eager to do any real fighting - even if it was always only in defense.

Jubilee entered the dining room. "C'mon, Bobby. It's our turn to do the shopping, and we gotta get going. We want to make sure we're back in time for the meeting tonight."

"Gimme ten minutes, hon, and I'll be ready."

Jubilee and I had really hit it off. I was glad that she was assigned to be my shopping partner today. Chores and tasks to keep the mansion operating were divided up among the team, and duties that involved contact with the outside (non-mutant) world were given to those of us who could pass for regular people. The Morlocks we had taken in were doing their fair share around the mansion but they were too clearly identifiable as mutants to go out in public.

Cyclops specified that all tasks requiring contact with the outside world were to be done in groups of two or more, for our own safety. It made sense, since the hostility and hatred of the outside world were palpable. Even if we could pass as normal, you never knew when something might give you away.

I finished up lunch, and Jubilee and I were off. We had a big shopping list, and she was right: we couldn't dally if we wanted to get back in time for the weekly meeting. Storm had come up with the idea to institute a weekly team meeting to keep everyone updated and talk through any fears or problems. In addition to the Morlocks, the X-men had taken in about a dozen other mutants who were new to the team in the last 12 months or so. The desire, on all sides, to band together was extremely strong since we all realized we were as good as hunted animals. The downside to this was that jelling as a team was difficult, especially since mutants from all over the world came here. That's why Storm suggested the weekly team meetings, and they went over very well.

(Being new to the team, I got this information from Hank, Jean and Jubilee. The three of them were doing a great job of filing me in on things, including the events of the past seven years.)

Jubilee and I walked through the mall. One clerk who rang up our order wore a FOH T-shirt, and we passed several people sporting anti-mutant buttons. We waited in line at another store behind a group of three teenage boys who did the usual teasing and insulting of each other by using such choice words as "fag" and "homo."

When we left that store, I shook my head. Jubilee shot me a questioning look, which I answered with, "I was just….noticing a lot of similarities. Between the way people act about mutants and about gay people."

Jubilee looked intently at me, nodding. I answered her unasked question, "I'm gay, if you didn't know."

"Thank you for telling me. I think it's really cool that you confided in me," she said. I could tell that she already knew.

I shrugged. "It's not exactly a secret. I think most people on the team know. I'd almost rather get it out in the open, though maybe that's because I've been living in San Francisco for the past seven years."

"Is it difficult?" she asked, as he headed towards the car. "You know, being gay and a mutant?"

"Well, yes, but….but you probably experience something like it to. I mean, you're a minority too and a mutant."

We reached the car and settled in. "You're so right, Bobby. I was talking about this with Storm the other day. Not the gay thing but about being a minority. Sometimes I don't know how I feel more discriminated against. And being a woman on top of it, though in the X-men I feel that women can do anything! Storm is such a great role model."

"I think she is completely awesome," I enthusiastically agreed as I backed the car out and headed for the highway.

"But about what you were saying…is that why you left the team seven years ago? Because you were gay?" Jubilee asked.

I had no problem with confiding in Jubilee, so I told her the whole, long story. We were half way back to the mansion by the time I finished. "And Hank," I continued. "If it weren't for him….I wouldn't be alive today. He noticed how depressed I was. He was the one who kept asking me about it, not dropping the subject or going away when I yelled at him to do so like fifteen times. I was such a total putz. And I was so ashamed about being gay that I couldn't tell him what was bothering me, so I wrote him a letter. I remember that I ended the letter with a line to the effect of, `I hope you still want to be friends with me,' or something. Hank was so great. He came to me and told me that he was just a tad offended that I thought he'd be so bigoted to even consider ending our friendship."

"Beast is great," Jubilee concluded.

We got back to the mansion and made it just in time to put away all the groceries and other supplies we'd purchased before heading for the auditorium. The X-men used to meet and discuss things sitting at the round table, but it no longer was big enough so we used the large auditorium. As Jubilee and I hurried into the big room, she bumped into Wolverine. She apologized and he grunted in reply, actually looking more grumpy than usual.

Professor X, Cyclops and Storm sat at the front of the room, as the rest of us sat facing them. I counted and there must have been more than two dozen mutants in the room, now that the surviving Morlocks had joined us along with all the new "recruits." I sat down next to Jubilee, who was sitting next to Jean. Hank sat behind us.

As soon as Professor X began speaking the normal conversational chatter died down. "Hello, everyone. It's good to see you. I see that since we had our last meeting the previous week, we have one or two new members. Let's go around and introduce ourselves. Just say your name, where you're from and a bit about your powers."

We did this last week, and I always had to bite my lip to keep from laughing since I felt like I was in an AA meeting or something. ("Hello, my name is Iceman but friends call me Bobby. I can turn anything-including myself-into ice. So call me when you're having your next keg party.') When the introductions were finished, Cyclops spoke. "We do have some news for the team. We'll share that first, and then if anyone wants to discuss this -or anything else-we'll do that as well."

My stomach clenched. I could tell from Cyke's tone, and the looks on the faces of Storm and the Professor, that the news was not going to be good.

Storm was the one to deliver it. "As many of you have already heard, today we received word that Alpha Force was attacked by FOH. Using Cerebro, Professor X has been able to determine that the members of Alpha Force are still alive, but we have been unable to locate them. The evidence we have indicates that an attack occurred and the mutants have been kidnapped."

A buzz broke out in the room. How can FOH be so powerful that they overwhelmed Magneto's group and now Alpha Force? And why is Cerebro unable to find them? Why did the attackers kill Magneto's group but kidnap Alpha Force? The group discussed these questions for over an hour but there were no answers. I can say that nothing encouraging was found out, that's for sure.

Cyclops noted that a team would be assembled tomorrow to head for Canada and look for clues. "Until this mission is complete, anything more we say here is just speculation," he said. "I suggest we move on and see if anyone has anything more to discuss."

No one's hands were raised. Hank did speak up, "As we discussed at our last meeting, I have an update on international. I would be glad to defer, however, if others have more pressing things to talk about."

"Why don't you go ahead and speak, Beast? We can still do more questions and discussion afterwards," the Professor said.

Hank rose and stood at the front of the room with the team leaders. "For those of us who weren't at the last meeting, I have been researching the condition of mutants in countries other than the US. I finally have a report prepared to share with the group. I'll share highlights with you now, and if anyone wants more details, just say so."

I don't remember all the details that Hank spoke about. The bottom line is that we're in deep shit. FOH has chapters in almost every country, and the membership is proportionately as strong in each country as it is here. Reports from the Middle and Far East show that public, government-sponsored executions of mutants are becoming common. Now I would've thought that there might be countries where mutants aren't so hated. Well, Hank's report dashed any hopes of that!

When he was finished, a few hands were raised. Rogue was called on first. "I have a comment," she said. "I don't feel safe here. And by `here' I mean anywhere on this planet. I think it's high time we looked at hightailing it outta here."

A murmur of voices rose and questioning looks were exchanged. Rogue continued, "I'm talking about starships. If the government and FOH can build or acquire starships, then we can too. We need our own ship and we need to get the hell off this planet since everyone hates us here."

Jean raised her hand and was called on. "If we're not safe here, I don't think we're going to be any safer on a starship. If they wanted to, FOH -or the government or anyone- could find a way to hunt down our starship and destroy it."

Now Cyclops prefers an organized, well-run meeting. He likes to note who has their hand raised and write down their names in the order that he sees their raised hands so they can be called on in turn. At this point in the meeting, doing so no longer worked. People just spoke out of turn.

I remember Wolverine making a comment. "What Rogue said's got something to it. We've been trying for years to get humanity to accept us and we haven't made any progress. I hate to say it since we tried hard, but we gotta face it. People fear and hate us. We're getting blamed for everything from global warming to high unemployment."

Hank spoke, "I've said this before, but I will say it again. I have read much of history and the last time I read about such open, government-supported, and widespread hatred for a group of people was in Hitler's Germany."

Shadowcat piped up, "My relatives call me almost every week and urge me to go into hiding. Generations ago my family was affected by the Holocaust and they think mutants are going to be the next group forced into concentration camps."

Rogue chimed in, "And our situation is even more bad cause there are fewer of us than there were of Jews back then, and our enemies are extremely powerful. We don't know how they wiped out Magneto or Alpha Flight."

"You're right that we don't know," Cyclops said. "And I think before we go building or stealing starships, we need to send a team to Canada to find out what happened."

"What good is it going to do?" Wolverine asked. "So we find out FOH's source of power, maybe we even manage to defeat it. Doesn't change the fact that FOH has millions of members in this country alone and most people hate us."

Rogue added, "Did y'all see poll in Newsweek the other day? They asked what should be done with `The mutant question' and like 65% favor quarantine, another 10% admitted they favor `extermination.' Only like 5% said they favored working with mutants, learning more about us and integrating us into society. 10% of the public openly admits that they want us dead!"

Hank nodded grimly, "If that poll is indeed an accurate reflection of people's feelings-and from what I read, it was a scientifically conducted poll-those results are frightening."

"Beast, I agree with you," Jean said. "We know people hate us and they always have. But I still don't see how us getting in a starship is going to help anything. If anything, it makes us more vulnerable. The government's and FOH's ships can then follow us and blow us up if they'd like."

"Jean is right," Storm said, "Being inside a starship, we'd lose the advantages that all our powers have in a combat situation. Then it would come down to how good our ship was. If one mutant is fighting hand-to-hand combat with 3 or 4 or 10 non-mutants, the mutant will almost certainly win. But if two fairly equal starships are attempting to blow each other up, the odds are even. We know the government has at least 5 battleships, probably more. Who knows how many the FOH has."

"So then we work covertly, " Wolverine said. "We don't need to issue a press release stating that Mutants are Building a Starship! Much as I hate the sound of it, I say we sneak out once the ship is made. We've already got a great plane which is undetectable by radar. So we do the same, but for a starship."

"But once we take off in our starship, where do we go?" Cyclops asked. "Are we just going to roam around the galaxy and hope we find a mutant-friendly planet we can live on? Or do we just spend the remainder of our lives inside the ship? We had better pack a lot of food and water."

Professor X spoke at last. "And we're leaving out one very crucial point. What about all the mutants on earth? We know there are many others being born every day, and more mutants find us every month. If we leave this planet, what happens to all the mutants not in this room? Who will teach them to control their powers or keep them from committing suicide? We're the only organized group working for tolerance."

The room was silent for a minute. No one liked to disagree with the Professor, even though he always encouraged us to speak up. Finally, Rogue did. "Professor with all due respect….we don't know how many mutants already now are committing suicide or are getting beaten up and killed. I have no doubt that we make a difference to all the mutants we've helped-like everyone in this room. But we're not doing squat successfully in terms of changing the public's mind about us or stopping the hate. You said we're the only organized group working for tolerance, which is true but right now-we're just trying to survive. We're not making any ground on tolerance cause we can't."

The discussions continued for hours. I didn't participate much but I listened intently. Part of me longed to be laying on the beaches of San Francisco again, quietly passing as a non-mutant. But the part of me wishing for that was just a small part. Professor X always said we have to do in life what is right, not what is easy. I understood in my heart that he was right and I belonged here.

It was finally decided to send a group to Canada to track what happened to Alpha Force, and another team would remain here and begin researching what it would take to build a starship. We weren't going to actually start working on one, just research. Professor X, Hank and I were on that research team with about five others. Many protested that starting a team to do research was dragging our feet and not moving quickly enough on this-but enough of the Xmen and our three leaders supported this approach so that's what we did.

Cyclops, Jean, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue, Gambit, Shadowcat, and three others were sent to Canada. When we said goodbye to this group the next day, I'd never before felt such trepidation over teammates' leaving for a mission. I hugged Jean an extra long time. Would this be the last I'd ever see her?

* * *

Scott and Jean returned to their room after the long meeting.

"I think it's really sad that it's gotten to the point that people are thinking of leaving this planet," Jean said, sitting on the bed, brushing out her long, auburn hair. She had changed from her work clothes into silk pajamas that Scott bought her one year for her birthday.

Scott stripped to his undershirt and boxers. He nodded his agreement. "Leaving this planet can't be the right answer. Besides, we shouldn't have to leave. It's as much our home as the rest of the world's."

"It's hard for me to even consider it. I'd never see my parents or sister again." Jean pulled a ponytail through her hair and lay back on the bed. "They're so worried about us. What Shadowcat said at the meeting struck a chord with me. Just the other week my Mom reminded me that she has an attic that you and I could hide in if we ever needed to."

"We're all worried," Scott admitted. He walked to the side of the bed and held Jean's hand. "We've got to think positively. We need to think of ways to turn the tide and defeat FOH."

"You know, I don't want to talk or think anymore about FOH today. It just makes me upset and fearful."

"I understand," Scott said.

Jean sat up and reached for Scott to hug her. He gratefully encircled her with his arms. "In fact, I can think of something I would like to do instead," she said, her tone questioning. She didn't want to pressure him since she knew he was tired. She decided to telepathically convey that feeling to him so he would understand.

Scott smiled and thought back /I'm not * that* tired./ He also had been expecting Jean to initiate some lovemaking in the last few days. They had been together for so long that he knew her desire ebbed and flowed in relation to where she was in her cycle, and for the past few days she was at a point in her cycle where desire ran high. His duty was to fulfil her, and it was a task he relished. Jean picked up on these thoughts and became more excited.

Wordlessly, they kissed. Jean delighted in the feel of his wet tongue against her lips and tongue, the prickliness of his stubble against her smooth cheeks as his hands caressed her back and shoulders. They shifted to a comfortable position where she lay back, his weight on top of her. He explored her mouth for several long moments, his tongue dancing against hers. Scott then pulled back to look at her beautiful face, delight written all over it. Her rapid breathing and flushed cheeks increased his ardor. "I love you, Jeannie," he murmured.

"I love you, Scott," she said. "With my heart, with my soul, with my mind, and with my body." Her senses felt his heart throb with love, his body tingle with desire.

Scott gently kissed her chin, her closed eyes, the sides of her face, working down to her neck. Jean adored having her sensitive neck kissed, and Scott did it so delicately. She loved it.

Jean used her powers to slowly float Scott a few feet above her. With his weight off her, she used telekinesis to unbutton her black, silk pajama top, and she adjusted her position to rid herself of the garment. Slowly, slowly Jean lowered Scott back on top of her. He straddled her, and removed his undershirt before returning to laying prone on top of his lover.

Working his way down, he arrived at her breasts, full and inviting. He paid proper homage to them, planting little kisses along the globes of flesh, gently kneading them with his hands. Scott's tongue slowly encircled a nipple as Jean lovingly stroked his hair, his neck. He was such a tender lover and he took his time to make sure her whole body tingled with delight, moving periodically to kiss her shoulders and then return to her neck and kiss it some more. He brought his lips back to her mouth and they kissed more, this time their mouths were more insistent. Scott then licked a trail back down to her full breasts.

As he softly began to suck on a nipple, his free hand crept down towards Jean's womanhood. She was wet and ready for him. Scott slowly inserted one finger, and was delighted at how easily it slid in, surrounded by her warm wetness. As he continued to suck her nipples, his fingers explored Jean's wetness. Fingers stroked the plump lips, the inviting passage and her throbbing clit. Scott moved his mouth from her breasts so he could concentrate better on the work his fingers were doing, rubbing and massaging her clit. Jean moaned softly. "That feels so good, Slim. So good," she whispered. He continued these delicious motions for many moments.

Scott was breathing heavily and well pleased with his efforts. He did feel some uncertainty as to whether Jean needed further stimulation or whether she was ready, though he was pretty sure that she was ready based on the time of her cycle she was in and how wet she was. /Trust your instincts, Slim. You're right/ she told his mind. She felt another thought of his welling up and she spoke to it as well. /I know, I know. You only want to make sure I'm pleasured. You're such a good lover, and I love you so much. Now get in here, I want to feel you inside me!/. Jean's mental link with her husband told her that he, also, was very ready and wanted nothing more at this point than to enter her.

Jean shed her pajama bottoms as Scott removed his boxer shorts. She spread her legs wide as Scott mounted her. With a low cry of pleasure, he slowly inserted his hardness into her waiting wetness. She took his head in her two hands and looked upon him with such love. Scott wished desperately once again that Jean could look into his eyes and see his adoration reflected there. /It's okay. I don't need to see your eyes to feel your love for me./

Her arms wrapped around him and their mouths met in a tender kiss. The kiss was seemingly endless, deepening and easing again and again as his strong hips drove her downwards into the feather mattress. Jean urged him on with her soft cries that were obvious in their delight. She felt ecstasy build up as he moved on her. Jean felt such fulfillment in making love with the man who was her soulmate, and she conveyed those feelings to him. Her mind picked up what she already knew-that he felt the same way. Scott thrust faster and faster as they neared rapture. Jean moaned her fulfillment and her husband soon followed her.

The couple fell into a deep sleep. Many of their fellow X-men also found solace in the pursuit of the erotic. It worked wonders at chasing away the fear and growing sense of dread.

* * *

The next week passed very slowly for me. I learned more about space ship construction and logistics than I had ever wanted to. (I was tempted to comment to Hank, "Somehow I thought being an X-man would be more exciting than this," but I held my tongue.) Actually, I hated to feel like such a useless team member, but I didn't feel I had much to contribute as our group compiled, analyzed and discussed information.

The team Cyclops led to Canada checked in with us every two hours, and the Professor frequently monitored them via Cerebro.

Those of us remaining at the mansion were nervous with so many of our team's heavy hitters gone. But in the end, we didn't have anything to fear-at least not from their trip to Canada. The group returned after about 8 days, not having anything substantial to report. The mission basically was a bust. The team did deduce, based on the evidence at hand, that Alpha Force had been abducted is a starship, almost certainly by FOH. Again, we had no idea why or how FOH was able to overpower Alpha Force.

At our next group meeting, nothing was resolved. The Professor presented what we had found in terms of building our own ship and surviving in one, but the X-men were heavily divided on this question. A majority of the team members favored packing it in and leaving Earth. But all three of our leaders (and a substantial number of the rest of the team) thought this was a terrible idea. Usually decisions were made when a large enough majority of the team agreed and leadership bought into it. In this case, it was a majority-albeit a majority by a small margin -who favored leaving the planet. But this was such a radical idea and none of our leaders agreed with it.

After the meeting, Hank and I went back to his room to share a drink and unwind. He was never a big drinker and I wasn't anymore, but we agreed there was no harm at all in a nightcap. The group meeting had been so intense that we both needed someone to talk it through with.

"I don't envy the Professor, Cyke or Storm," I said, holding my drink and sitting back in Hank's recliner. "I bet they're having many sleepless nights over this."

"I am too, my friend," Hank said, sitting across from me. "I fear this question of leaving the planet might divide the team."

I nodded as Hank continued, "At this point, I can see Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, Colossus, Shadowcat and the others that agree with them just taking off. It's the fight or flight reflex. We're all realizing that we're losing the fight, so the flight reflex is kicking in."

"Well they can't go anywhere till they have a starship, and they can't just go to Wall-Mart to buy one. Our team's research was pretty clear that building one, despite all of our strengths and powers, would be pretty monumental," I said.

"Yes. But stealing one wouldn't be."

We sat quietly for a minute. Hank broke the silence, "You've never said where you stand on this question, Bobby."

"I dunno, Hank. I really don't. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it. On one hand, I hate sitting around here feeling like we're sitting ducks. We've increased our defenses a lot even since I rejoined the team, but I feel that no matter how much our defenses are beefed up or how many hours we spend training, they're going to break in and overwhelm us and come and get us like they did Alpha Force and Magneto. It's a terrifying thought and it does make me want to run. But despite that, I keep going back to what Storm says. We're not going to be any safer floating around in space. And like our team presented at the meeting today, the amounts of food and supplies we're going to need to stay alive on a starship are humongus."

I paused. "I can't tell what you think, Hank. Tonight you seemed in favor of staying, but at the meeting the day we learned of Alpha Force's capture, you seemed in favor of leaving."

Hank shook his head. "I don't know where I stand either, Bobby. The Professor keeps insisting that we must stay behind for the sake of all the young mutants on this planet. It is said that `Hope springs eternal' and I am saddened to find myself losing hope. Despite everything we've done, all the people we've saved from Magneto and all the other nemeses, the average person fears and loathes us more every year. I no longer feel that we are making a difference here. I guess I do want to leave. But I wouldn't do it at the sake of the team's unity."

I leaned forward and rested my head on my hands. "You yourself have done so much for the betterment of humanity. You're one of the most brilliant scientific minds and your research has made many breakthroughs. Look at the thanks you've gotten!"

A look came across Hank's face. It was extremely anguished and it shocked me. "Did I hit a nerve, Hank? Are you ok?"

He took a deep breath. "Something you said did, indeed, trigger a sad memory for me. Something I still mourn to this day. Did I ever tell you about Carly?"

"Carly? No," I answered.

Hank sighed deeply, a sigh filled with pain. "She was a young woman. She was blind. I was working at the Reynolds Clinic for the Blind in the city, researching ways to cure certain types of blindness."

My ears perked up. "Wait, I do remember this. You told me about this in a letter, that you developed the cure for one type of blindness. Of course they named the treatment after the University and not after you. But….you never mentioned a Carly."

"She was my first patient and she was willing to provide the test. We spent a lot of time together over a period of months while I perfected the treatment. We developed feelings for each other. My process cured her blindness. When she looked at me for the first time….she still loved me."

"Hank, that's wonderful!" I said, my mouth getting ahead of my brain. Of course the ending to this story wasn't going to be wonderful. I wished I could've taken those words back.

I think Hank sensed that I realized my error. He continued on soberly, "But it couldn't work out. FOH was strong, even back that. We live in a world of too much violence and bigotry for the relationship to have worked."

"Is that what she said to you?" I asked cautiously. "Is that why she ended it?"

"I ended our relationship for those reasons. Carly protested but…but it was for the best. I think that a relationship just isn't in the cards for me."

"I'm sorry, Hank. I don't know what to say," I said, lamely. What could I say? I had no idea.

"I don't know why I've been thinking of this so much lately. Maybe it's because of what you said to me back in San Francisco, about feeling like a `freak among freaks.' You are not the only one who feels that way, my friend."

I don't know why, but I felt the urge to apologize again. "I'm sorry. But….try to look on the bright side. You have family and friends who love you-that's a great thing." Why did I say the word `family'? I think it just kinda slipped out. I did remember Hank mentioning his family a several times and I knew he sometimes celebrated holidays with them. But my ability to say the wrong thing was reaching an all-time high.

"Ah, yes. My family," Hank put his head in his hands and when he raised his head, another anguished look was on his face. Good one, Bobby, I thought. I keep this up, I should get a job as a counselor. "I know my parents are ashamed of me. They say they love me but I can see it in their eyes….the sadness, the pity. The wonder how they ever gave birth to someone who turned into this and fear it means there's something wrong with them. My appearance is so hideous that they're ashamed."

I'd *never* seen Hank looking this sad. In our first life together as X-men, * he* was always comforting * me*. He looked so depressed and it was so out of character for him that I was actually afraid.

I got off my chair and knelt before Hank. "Listen to me, Hank," I said slowly. "You're * not* hideous. Carly didn't find you ugly and I'm sure she's not the only one." I paused. "Look, don't take this the wrong way….but I personally think you have a certain beauty. You move gracefully, even though your limbs are big. Your face has a dignity and a….a handsomeness to it." I placed some emphasis on the word `handsomeness.' I continued, "And intelligence. I don't think the word hideous is at all a good description."

Hank was quiet and my heart sped up. I'm such an idiot, I thought. Such an idiot. I just violated a big rule: you never tell a straight guy (even one who's apparently celibate) that you find him handsome. Now he's going to think I want him and it will feel all awkward. I should season my shoes with salt and pepper since I always seem to put my foot in my mouth.

But when he focused on me again, I could tell everything was ok and I'd underestimated him once again. "I appreciate that, Bobby. Thank you," he seemed sincerely comforted—even just a little-by what I'd said.

Though part of me knew he wasn't upset or offended, I still felt the urge to cover my tracks. "I mean, just so you know-I didn't mean anything by it or it's not like, you know….you know, I wasn't saying that I had the hots for you or anything like that it's just that…."

Hank smiled patiently. He'd put up with a lot of my stuttering and stumbling over the years. "I know what you mean, Bobby. It's ok."

When I left his room that evening, I knew everything was ok between us and that I had truly been able to offer him some consolation. He was still sad but I could tell he would basically be alright. I made my way to the kitchen since I was hungry and knew sleep would be a long time coming, despite the late hour.

As I walked down the corridor, I thought of what I'd said to Hank. I had been honest; I never fantasized about him or wished we were lovers or anything like that. It's more like I looked up to him, strove to be like him in many ways, really enjoyed his company…and still recognized that he was handsome, at least to me. You could even say I had a small crush on him. But my feelings for him weren't * sexual.* More like the kind of crush you get on someone who you really respect and admire and think is one of the coolest people on earth. It was stupid of me to have that flash of worry that he would think I wanted to jump in the sack with him.

Jubilee sat in the kitchen, munching on some leftovers. Seemed she had the same idea as me. She really perked up when she saw me, which reminded me how much affection I was developing for the young lady. We hung out together quite often.

"Hi, Bobby," said, smiling.

"Hey, girl," I greeted her back, patting her on the shoulder. "What you got there?"

"Some of the left over stir fry. Here, let me get you some," she made a motion as if to get up, but I gently tapped her shoulder again.

"I'm perfectly capable of re-heating leftovers myself," I said, laughing.

"They're in the square tupperware bowl," she guided me. "Second shelf."

There wasn't a whole lot left, so I heated the entire thing. As the microwave hummed away, Jubilee asked me, "Do you want to take that somewhere we can talk together?"

She just read my mind. Hank had been tired so we hadn't spoken much after our little heart-to-heart. But I wanted more company before getting into my cold bed and trying to sleep, and the kitchen was large and wide-open. Privacy would be preferable so we could gossip and such.

Jubilee and I made our way to my room and finished off the stir fry together. I sat on the bed and she pulled up a chair near me. Fatigue rimmed her young eyes but otherwise she seemed to be in a good mood.

"Intense meeting today, huh?" she asked.

"Yeah," I agreed. I didn't want to talk anymore about this, though and said as much to Jubilee. She agreed, so I changed the subject, "So what do you think of Thunderbird?"

"The new guy from India? He seems cool enough. He's homesick though."

"Definitely."

"Why, what do you think?" she asked. "Do you think he's cute?"

I shrugged. "Not especially. What about you?"

"Not really," she said. "Though I do need a boyfriend! Bobby, why do you have to be gay?" she smiled as she said it and I think she tried to make it come off like she was joking. I did, though, sense she had a bit of a crush on me.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," I said, returning her smile and light tone. "I can't change that anymore than I can change being a mutant. But you * should* have a boyfriend, a pretty girl like you. You'd be a catch for any man."

She blushed a bit, "Aw, thank you." She took a deep breath. "It's really difficult for a mutant female to live not having a boyfriend, too."

"It is? Like, is it harder than for a non-mutant female?" I was genuinely confused by her statement.

"Yes," she said.

"How do you arrive at that?" I could tell she had a something to tell and I was really curious.

"Well, there's unscientific research that seems to indicate that mutant females have higher sex drives than non-mutant females."

"Really? Are you serious?"

"Yes! I am," she insisted. "Storm, Rogue, Jean and I had a girls' night out once," she began. I leaned forward. Boy this was going to be good!

Jubilee continued, "And we had a drink each and got to talking about this. Storm said that when she had a lover, she usually wore him out and when she didn't have anyone, she-well, you know, took care of herself-very frequently. Depending on what time of the month it is, she said she could do it two times a day and sometimes even more often.

"And Rogue pretty much said the same thing," Jubilee went on. "She said she was lucky that Remy usually obliges her when she asks. But she said when he's too tired, she has a trusty vibrator that she uses."

"Wait a sec. Rogue and Gambit have sex?"

"Well, yeah. You didn't know they're an item?"

"I did. I guess I just thought….she can't touch anyone, can she?"

"No, she can't. Let's just say that they use their creativity….that's how Rogue phrased it anyway."

"I see. Now go on," I encouraged her.

"Well, that's basically it. We're all hyper-sexed. Oh, Jean said she can control it more though. It must be her background in mind control that lets her discipline her body more, but even she did admit that she loves to make love and she does wear out ole Cyke from time to time. But she said he's really good about giving in to her when she wants."

"Interesting," I said.

"Oh, and here's the kicker. The Morlock women. I guess in their sub-culture it's more acceptable to sleep around. Just the other day we got to talking to some of the female Morlocks who are staying here and they said that basically all the female Morlocks sleep with all the male Morlocks. It's the way they keep the peace among themselves, and the men consider it a very enjoyable duty they must perform otherwise the women go ballistic."

I had to smile at that image.

"And," Jubilee went on, "there are rumors that when Mystique and Destiny were together, they wore each other out and Magento yelled at them for spending so much time in bed together!"

I burst out laughing at that one. Jubilee joined me in giggling. I guess I should've felt a twitch of shame for laughing at the deceased but what can I say? I was tired and needed a good laugh, and the image of Magento chewing out Mystique for having too much sex….

"Wow," I finally said. "Why you think this is?"

Jubilee shrugged. "Our unscientific theory is that it's nature's way of getting us to pass on our genes."

"Maybe Hank can study this some day," I suggested. She and I laughed even more.

"But what about you?" I asked. "If I may ask?" I added that on, even though I knew she wouldn't mind my asking and most likely would tell me everything.

'I'm the same way. Except I've never….you know, had a boyfriend. Storm and Rogue took me a to sex shop in Manhattan once and got me some toys to use, but it's not the same, I imagine. I need the real thing!"

"Well, what about…." One by one we discussed each of the men on the team and their evaluation as a potential sex partner. But Jubilee said she was determined to lose her virginity to someone she really loves and cares about, and not just do it because her body demands it. She said she really wanted to wait till she was married, even and there wasn't any man on the team who was potential marriage material for her.

"So, you see-I'm in a bind," she concluded. Despite her obviously difficult situation, she didn't seem resentful or really upset-just a little wistful.

"I see. My poor Jubilee. I wish I could help," I said.

"You could….if you weren't gay!" I could tell that she was mostly—but not totally-joking.

I laughed, "But I told you, I can't do anything about it!" Our tone continued to be light and playful. "If I could be straight, I would. It would've saved me years in therapy, not to mention a * ton* of money. And it would've kept my parents from disowning me. Well, until they'd find out I'm a mutant, I guess." We both smiled at that one. "But see, you know that Wolverine-type you said you liked?" (During our discussion of the men on the team, she had admitted to an attraction to Wolverine but completely understood it would never work since he viewed her as a little sister and he loved Jean anyway. Plus she liked him in his big-brother role and wouldn't do anything to ruin that.) "See, that's the type I want too. So it's hopeless between us since we want the same thing." (I had a total crush on Wolverine too. I knew it would never amount to anything, but it was there.)

"I know. You're just so sweet, Bobby."

"So are you, hon. And you deserve the best. I think that idea you have of saving sex until you really find someone you love is a great idea, too. Don't worry. He'll come along someday. And in the meantime, you always have those toys that Rogue and Storm bought you, right?"

Despite everything bad that was going on, I went to bed in a good mood that night. I had two really close friends on the team and was feeling more and more like a member of the family. I always got a positive vibe from Jubilee, and went to sleep feeling like everything would turn out ok.

How wrong I was.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We spent the next three months in a constant cycle of preparing for an attack and constant training. We trained in groups and we trained solo. We always had at least two people on guard at all times.

In the end, none of it mattered. FOH showed up in the middle of the night and overwhelmed us. I don't even know how many battleships attacked the mansion, and they had some sort of paralyzing weapon. I woke in the middle of the night, heard the commotion, and quickly changed into my Iceman form. I flung open the door to my room and looked down the dark hallway. People were barking orders, uniformed troops had somehow already overran the mansion, and shots of some sort of weapon I'd never heard before rang out. I shot out one blast of ice at the invaders before I felt a force overtake me. My senses were all paralyzed and I fell forward, to the floor. I felt hands put a collar around my neck and then I lost consciousness.

* * *

When I woke up, I could tell that some time had passed-at least a few hours but probably more. Parts of my body felt numb but my head and brain were intact. I wasn't in any serious pain but my eyesight was dimmed and very gradually returning. I knew I was laying on my back on a hard surface. My hands and feet were not restrained; there were no chains or any sorts of fetters on me. I was no longer in my Iceman form either, somehow I had reverted to my normal self even though I had been Iceman when I was attacked and I'm supposed to be the only one who can change myself from one form to another.

"Oh…what happened?" I heard a familiar voice groan. Jean Grey! I could tell she was near but my eyesight was not returning as fast as my mental capacities were. I was too weak still to sit up.

"Looks like Bobby's coming to," I heard Wolverine say in a low voice. This was good. At least two people I knew were in this dark room with me. (Later I realized the room wasn't dark at all; my eyes were still not working right.)

I tried to speak to reply to Wolverine but a moan was all I managed. It took a long time (I have no idea if it were minutes, hours, or what) before I was fully awake and conscious. During the time I was coming `round, I heard voices of my teammates talking.

"I think Shadowcat was killed," I heard the Professor say.

"They wiped out the Morlocks," Cyclops said. "They didn't even try to take them alive."

"Our garage was on fire and I saw Nightcrawler toss himself from mansion's rooftop onto flaming garage," Colossus said.

I didn't want to be hearing this. I didn't want to hear what they were saying, I wanted to be unconscious again. I wanted to be back at the mansion having a deep discussion with Hank, laughing with Jubilee, playing poker with the group, or getting defeated in the danger room. Maybe this was all a bad dream. But the hard floor was cold and uncomfortable against my back, I was thirsty and had to pee. It was real.

"I wonder when our captors will show themselves," a voice said. Hank! It was Hank!

I tried to speak again, this time with more success. "Hank?" I mustered.

"Bobby," he answered. "Give it time. The effects of their paralyzing weapon are taking a while for people to recover from. Your eyesight will return. Don't rush things," he advised. It amazed me that he sounded so calm.

I finally managed to sit up. "I feel better. My eyes are starting to focus but I can't see clearly yet." I looked around the room. Sitting on the floor were the Professor, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Rogue, Gambit, Hank and Colossus. Jubilee lay down on her back, still unconscious. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her chest rythmically rise and fall with her breathing. Wolverine was pacing back and forth.

Each of us had a collar around our necks.

I traced the outline of the heavy, metallic surface. Tentatively, I tugged at it.

"Don't waste your energy, kid," Wolverine said, looking at me. His hands were bloody. "We tried. These collars can't be pulled off."

"I take it they neutralize our powers," I said.

"Yes," Storm said quietly. "It would appear these are the same collars used on Genosha Island. We thought they had all been destroyed. We've been trying for hours to remove them. It seems impossible." I heard shock and a touch of despair in her voice. I think we all were stunned that we'd been so easily overwhelmed.

I looked around. The room we were in was fairly large but we were all crammed into an area that was less than half the space in the room. It was just big enough for all of us to sit or lay down, with only a few feet of space left for Wolverine to pace around. As if he read my mind, he said, "A forcefield."

Wolverine touched an invisible line that divided the room in half, and the electric hum of a forcefield prevented his fingers from going any further. I didn't need to ask whether the team had tried to break through it. Rogue was rubbing her bloody fists which I'd later found out she had used to attempt to pound through the forcefield. Her efforts were to no avail.

The room was bare other than the 11 of us X-men in it. No furniture or anything. Except for the steady hum of the force field, there were no other noises. I glanced off to the side, on my right. There was a small door. "A bathroom," Storm said when she saw me looking in that direction.

I stumbled towards it since I needed to go. A toilet, sink and shower.

I came out and rejoined the group. Still weak, I sat back down on the floor, next to Jubilee. My young friend was starting to stir. I knew the answer to the question but I had to ask. "Is there any water?"

Cyclops shook his head. "No. No sign of our captors either.."

"We think we're on a starship," the Professor supplied. The metallic walls did have that look. "We all saw starships outside when we were captured."

Conversation was minimal. I think we were fighting off utter despair. I had learned that those who woke up before me had tried everything, using all their force to pull at their own (or teammates' collars), hurling themselves at the forcefield, even pounding the walls to feel for ways out. There was nothing.

Minutes after Jubilee had fully regained consciousness and was able to sit up, the door to our room slid aside. My stomach churned as several uniformed FOH members entered the room. They were on the other side of the forcefield as us, so we could not touch them. I loathed the site of their neo-Nazi uniforms.

"You stinking-" Wolverine began, and again hurled himself at the forcefield. Rogue yelled out an obscenity at the FOH members and did the same. The captors simply laughed as they watched Wolverine and Rogue exhaust themselves attacking the forcefield.

When Rogue and Wolverine accepted that they only thing they were accomplishing was covering their own bodies with bruises, they ceased. The FOH men continued to laugh as one would at an amusing play. Cyclops spoke up, "You are going to regret capturing the X-men! Let us go - now!"

This caused the FOH men to laugh even more. I studied them. They all were white men from a range of ages-I'd say twenties to one guy with white hair. The guy in the middle appeared to be in his early 30's and had blond hair and a mustache. He finally spoke. "You foolish mutants. You disgusting, perverted mutants! Such ridiculous words from you." He paused. "You are the only surviving mutants. We've rid the world of sick, filthy vermin like you. If you want, we'd be glad to toss in the corpses of the muties we killed during the battle."

There was silence. What do you say to that?

"Nothing to say, eh?" the man taunted. He turned to one of the others. "Give them the water. We have to keep the dogs alive, for now."

One man held a bucket of water with a dipper. The forcefield had something like an airlock that FOH controlled. The bucket of water was placed in the airlock when the opening that faced FOH slid aside. That opening then closed, and the door on our side slide aside. This was a pretty ingenious device. It ensured that they could send things through to us but we could not get out.

"What are you going to do with us?" the Professor asked. I knew the X-men had been captured many times before and had been through a lot. But his voice, normally so sure and brave, nearly shook.

"You don't want to know, old gimp."

My ears perked up and some of my teammates reflected my shocked look. You do not call Professor X a "gimp." This was a sacrilege! If only I'd have known what was to follow.

"Let's just say," the FOH leader said, "that we are taking you somewhere we can dispose of you properly. Thanks to our handy starship, we found a wonderful planet where we've been dumping our trash. It's where we took your Canadian friends and your old friend who called himself `Magneto.' We found a planet in another galaxy that has a particularly fitting…disposal system. That is where we will exterminate you." He paused. "So I hope you will enjoy your journey. It takes a little while to get there, but this is a good starship and it's worth it. During the journey, you will….provide amusement to my troops."

I remember Wolverine speaking a few words of bravado, hurling insults and obscenities at them.

The FOH leader simply laughed again. "I leave you for now. It's considered nighttime on board our ship now, though you wouldn't know it since your room will constantly be lit and monitored by our cameras. But I suggest you try and sleep tonight. You will need all the rest you can get." He placed a lot of emphasis on his last sentence.

He and his cronies left the room.

I looked around at the ten other faces in the room. Is this it? Are we really the only surviving mutants in the world? Then I knew of course not; it was like a parallel with gay people. You could kidnap the leaders of the gay rights movement and even everyone who belonged to a gay rights group but still there would be people being born every day who were going to grow up to be gay and others who were gay but were hiding. But what kind of world would they live in?

We tried to sleep, fighting off hunger. All of us were physically exhausted probably due to the effects of whatever they used to stun us. No one much felt like talking.

I noticed that Rogue and Gambit were taking advantage of the fact that her powers were ineffective. They were cuddled up together, kissing. Ungloved hands were stroking each other's faces and hands…if there hadn't been other people in the room, I think they would have gone for it. It was evident how in love they were.

Cyclops and Jean were similarly cuddled together, though Jean cried softly off and on. He lovingly stroked her head and neck as she cried onto his shoulder. Cyclops took advantage of the fact that his powers were gone to remove his visor, and Jean looked lovingly into his eyes as if she were trying to memorize what they looked like. I stole glances at the couple, feeling happy for them but having a longing that some day I would find that kind of love.

I took off my shirt and tried to use it for a flimsy pillow, but the floor was rock hard and my stomach cried out for food. As I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position, I wondered what the FOH guy had meant when he said that we would provide "amusement" to the troops during our trip. An old episode of Star Trek popped into my head. The crew of the Enterprise had been kidnapped and forced to battle each other as if they were ancient Gladiators. Maybe FOH had something like that in mind.

Because the room was small, it was impossible to not overhear people's conversations. I generally don't sleep well and could not sleep that night, even though I lay there for what seemed like hours on end. The X-men who lay physically closest to me were Rogue and Gambit. I really, really tried not to but I couldn't help but to hear most of their whispered conversation.

"C'mon, Remy….This is our chance…we're going to die soon."

"But Rogue, amor….they'll hear everything….No, the bathroom is not big enough. Gambit refuses to allow your first time-our first time-in dere."

"You can't let me die without ever having….what does it matter if they hear everything…..we're all going to die, so who cares?…Who cares that it's a bathroom! If you love me, you'll…."

They continued arguing like this for quite some time, their voices rising a tad above a whisper at times. I suspect I wasn't the only one who couldn't help but to hear. I could tell that both were really getting angry and at some point Rogue got up and moved away from Gambit so that she no longer lay next to him. When I woke up (I think I did doze off for a little bit though it sure wasn't a restful sleep), Rogue and Gambit were not next to each other.

In what must've been the morning, the guards brought us food. We dined on water, stale bread, and meat that was stringy and partly green. This was pretty much what all our meals would be like. Still, it was food and we were all hungry. We also took turns showering. Those things helped lift our spirits, and Cyclops was even speaking encouraging words to the team. "We've been through worse, together," he said. "We'll find a way out of this." The Professor must have also felt some of this and said, "Yes, we will get out of here. Everything is going to be ok."

Not long after they had finished those words, several FOH guards entered the room including the blond, mustached guy who appeared to be the leader. "Good morning, mutant freaks!" he said with extra cheerfulness. He did look excited about something, as did his men.

Wolverine and Rogue hadn't lost their spunk and returned the leader's greetings with several choice words. As he always seemed to do when we protested , the leader laughed again. Then he focussed on Jean.

"You," he said, pointing directly at Jean. "Come here." He gestured towards the airlock

"Why should I?" Jean replied, defiantly.

In silent response, the leader reached for a small device he held in his hand. It looked akin to a remote control. He pressed a few buttons and Jean screamed an agonizing wail as she clutched her neck and doubled over. "Jean!" Cyclops screamed and tried to hold her, but Jean was out of control, thrashing her arms and screaming.

Finally the leader ceased what he was doing to Jean. She fell into Cyke's arms, panting and traumatized. "These collars are wonderful devices," the leader said. "I have the ability to assault each and every of your nerve endings with unbearable pain. The setting I used for you was one of the milder ones." He paused to let his words sink in. Each of us were rubbing our collars and exchanging terrified glances.

"So I repeat," the leader said to Jean. "Come here."

Jean looked at him. "Fuck you!" she said. She stayed where she was.

The leader simply smiled in response and reached for the device. Jean seemed to be preparing herself for more when Cyclops suddenly screamed and fell to the floor. Apparently he decided to torture Cyclops instead. It was evident that the man was in incredible agony.

"Stop it!" Jean yelled at the leader as she sank to her knees next to her suffering husband. The leader gestured for Jean to step into the airlock. She took another look at Cyke, writhing and screaming on the floor, before she stepped through the airlock. Once the soldiers had her, they handcuffed her and lead her out of the room. The leader stopped torturing Cyclops.

I don't remember the details from this point on, but one by one he called Jubilee, then Storm and finally Rogue. A similar scenario unfolded for each woman: they were tortured by the device but eventually succumbed rather than watch one of their teammates suffer. Each of them eventually stepped through the airlock, were handcuffed and lead away. I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I noticed he called only the women.

The FOH soldiers all turned to leave the room. They had what they came for. Colossus spoke out. "What are you going to do with them?"

"Why," the leader said, turning back to face us, "we have over 200 men on this ship and none of them has had a woman for months. We're going to show your women what a * real* man is like in bed."

"You can't do this!" Cyclops said, sounding terrified and disgusted. "This is an outrage!" Wolverine leapt up and resumed his useless pounding on the forcefield, screaming and making threats to the FOH-ers.

"Watch us," the leader said simply before he left.

"I'LL KILL THEM!" Wolverine screamed and he once again bloodied his hands by attempting the break the forcefield. "I'LL RIP THEIR FUCKING HEARTS OUT!" He continued in this vein for quite some time. Gambit sat down and looked as if he was going to be sick, his face pale. Cyclops repeated, "This is an outrage," and looked as sick and shocked as Gambit.

The Professor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I noticed his hands trembling. I felt physically ill myself.

* * *

Later that day, Jean Grey was praying. She wasn't a terribly religious woman but that day she needed to hold on to something. She needed something to get her mind off the assault that was taking place on her body. Trying to block out the pain and the stench of the man who was on top of her, she pried her eyes shut and silently repeated the words.

Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread -

Jean's prayer was interrupted when her current rapist slapped her face. "Open your eyes, mutant bitch!" She obeyed immediately; the consequences of not doing so were too unbearable. She could tell from the way the man was moving that he was getting ready to ejaculate. "Tell me you want me to fuck you," he demanded. He placed his hands around her neck, above her collar, and squeezed lightly as if to show her that he could strangle her.

Jean did as she was forced to. What did it matter; it was only words. Minutes after the soldier rolled off her, his place was taken by another. She shut her eyes and began praying again, trying to prepare her body to endure.

* * *

My teammates paced our cell, looking liked caged animals. Hank sat next to me but we had nothing to say, either to each other or the others.

Professor X looked as baffled as angry. "I can't believe this," he said numerous times that day. "We've all been kidnapped before. Female X-men have been kidnapped before. But even a lowlife like Sinister wouldn't do something like this."

After some time had passed (I had no idea how long, my sense of the passage of time was gone), we were served more food but no one ate. The blond FOH leader returned to check on us.

"How are we doing today, filthy disgusting mutants?" he asked.

No one replied.

"You don't look so good. Is something troubling you?" the leader asked us. I noticed Wolverine was sniffing and I wondered if he still had his enhanced sense of smell. I also noticed the FOH leader's pants were unzipped. After a few sniffs, Wolverine got an insane look in his eyes.

Hank spoke up, the first time he had addressed our captors. "Listen, I thought you were repulsed by mutants. I thought you regard us as lower than garbage. If you think that is true, then why are you assaulting mutant women? Surely they are not good enough for your troops."

The leader laughed his annoying laugh again. "Listen, you stupid ape, as long as a bitch has a hole and a heartbeat, I don't care if she's a mutant or not. My troops will fuck her anyway."

Gambit had utter hatred in his eyes. "You are no real man if you need to force a woman."

The FOH leader smiled. "I'll tell your girlfriend that next time I'm forcing her to suck my dick," he said, looking at Gambit "By the way, the two of you really * should* have done it last night since you are both going to die. But my men really enjoy fucking a virgin so I thank you for preserving her. We had an auction to see who would have the first grab at your feisty one and who'd be the first with the slanty-eyed virgin."

I think the guys realized at that point that it was pointless to say anything more to this man. Each time we spoke, he told us of another abomination.

"I really wanted to come by to thank you for sharing them with us," the leader continued. "My troops are really going to enjoy the next five days. What a shame we'll need to dispose of your sluts along with you. We'll return them to you when we're done though."

None of us said anything.

"Well, I'm back to availing myself of your women. I haven't yet fucked the slanty-eyed one or the bitch with the white hair. Do you have any recommendations on which one I should have next?"

He waited a few minutes as if expecting a reply. Then he added, "I think I might do the white-haired one. The Asian bitch was doing too much screaming and crying." Then he left.

We spent the rest of the day doing more things we knew were futile. Hank and Wolverine tried to combine their force and pull off Cyclops's collar. We took the plastic knives we were given to eat with and tried to cut away our collars. We tried feeling the ceiling to see if there were any vents by having Hank hoist me up. Wolverine and Colossus tried to rip off the toilet in the hopes it would open up a hold in the bathroom floor. We tried ripping away the floor around the shower's drain with our bare hands.

After all our failed escape attempts, I sat in the corner and cried unabashedly. I couldn't stand the image of Jubilee-or any of the women-treated in this manner. I cried and cried like a baby, with Hank allowing me to do so on his shoulder. When I looked up I noticed I wasn't the only one.

* * *

The assaults continued for hours on end, hours which spilled into days. The women were given brief periods of time to rest and have a glass of water. The soldiers had them shower periodically since they were so covered with other soldiers' semen.

Rogue had done what she could to resist. The first man who raped her, she assailed with every cuss word she knew. He seemed to enjoy her feistiness but eventually -as all her rapists would - used her collar to force her to be quiet. When she was first told to fellate a soldier, he warned her that if she bit down on him, he would remove a tooth from her mouth. She bit him anyway. Two soldiers held her down while they extracted two of her teeth. She screamed with the most intense agony she had ever experienced.

"Rogue, would you stop resisting!" Storm barked at her. Their beds were a few feet away from each other's. "What good is it doing you?"

Rogue glanced over in Storm's direction, disgusted to see her teammate and role model beaten into submission. Storm had learned that Jean's tactic was best-go along with what they wanted, say and do what they wanted if you cared to avoid a beating or having any of your body parts ripped off. Blood dripped from Rogue's mouth and the pain kept her from being able to see straight.

The next two soldiers who were waiting in line for Rogue approached her. "We're going to break you in good, bitch," they told her. "You're going to beg for me to fuck you."

Rogue opened her excruciatingly pained mouth and began another litany of obscenities, telling them how she was going to stuff their dicks down their throat and kill them as soon as she got her powers back. They responded by putting gauze over her mouth and raping her in every imaginable manner. The two soldiers were eventually told to ease up on her

The FOH leader approached Rogue, turned her over on her belly, and raped her again. Afterwards he flipped her over and talked to her. The gauze was still over her mouth. "You are a wild little bitch, aren't you? I see maiming and beating you does no good. Let me put it this way, then. We know you have a boyfriend back there, that long-haired man with the strange eyes. You will either start cooperating with our men….or we'll take your boyfriend and remove each and every one of his teeth, cut off his fingers and toes and chop his dick off. Got it?"

Rogue nodded. The leader ripped the tape off her lips. From that point on, Rogue was obedient.

* * *

I think a day or two passed. The only way we really knew to track time was by the stubble growing on our faces. Periodically food and water were brought to us.

The FOH leader-and other of their men - visited us at intervals. The taunted us with their updates which we were forced to listen to. "Your girlfriends are really fantastic. Thank you again for lending them to us…..I fucked that redheaded slut three times yesterday myself …. One of your women told me that we are better in bed than any of you mutant-freak men were. Well, at least I * made* her say that."

At one point, two soldiers entered our room and put something very small through the airlock. "Look at it," they demanded. Colossus was sitting closest to the airlock and I think curiosity got the best of him. He reached in and pulled out a napkin, which had two small white objects wrapped in it. He eyed them with a confused look on his face.

"They're teeth," one soldier explained. "We had to knock them out of that ferocious one, you know- the bitch with the Southern accent. She wouldn't go along with us. Finally we threatened to pull out all * your* teeth, loverboy," he looked at Gambit, "and now she is obedient. We tamed her. We can make her say or do anything."

Gambit's skin went pale and he looked ill. The other guys all flinched too. This was so repulsive.

Cyclops sat hunched in a corner. He hadn't eaten anything at all since Jean was taken. Once I saw Wolverine sit next to him and bring him a plate of food. "C'mon, Cyke," he said low. "It's not going to do Jean any good if you don't eat." He coaxed Cyclops into choking down a few bites, but Cyke soon threw them up. "I can't live like this. I am going to go crazy thinking of Jeanie in such pain," Cyke told Wolverine. "Keep it together, old pal," the Canadian encouraged. "You gotta be there for her when we get outta this."

Wolverine may have been trying to comfort Cyclops, but wasn't himself doing well either. He was without his healing ability and all the insane things he did to try to escape -banging on the forcefield, attempting to uproot the toilet- had taken their toll physically. His hands were torn and bloody. And he looked angrier than I had ever seen him, and that's a lot for someone who normally isn't in the greatest of moods. He varied from pacing around, to doing more useless things to try to escape, to picking fights with Gambit.

Gambit was equally angry and the two of them even made up an excuse to have a fist fight. Professor X told them to stop, using a tone of voice I'd never heard from him. When Gambit wasn't fighting Wolverine, he took out his deck of cards and got most of us to play. We needed to get our minds off what was happening and actually played for hours on end. Cyclops yelled at us for "playing card games at a time like this" but we ignored him.

Hank spoke a few times, talking about how historically rape has been used as a means to control and dominate women, as well as a means in war for one side to demoralize the other. He was trying to help, I know, but Gambit yelled, "Shut the fuck up," as he threw the water jug at Hank. The jug hit the floor with a loud clank.

Professor X looked utterly defeated. I think he was shocked this was happening. Not only the violence that was occurring against the women, but the fact that we were going to meet our end in such an inglorious way with all of us fighting each other.

I saw grown men cry, which I never thought I'd see

A few times the guys tried to engage the guards or the FOH leader in conversation. They were subtly trying to ascertain how FOH had overwhelmed us so completely, what their weapons and power sources were, etc. Unfortunately they were on to us any time we went down that line of questioning, and they always turned it around into another chance to tell us how much they enjoyed "fucking your bitches."

I was raped once too. This was more than 10 years ago, during my first incarnation with the X-men. I took a weekend off and hung out at a gay bar. I had no idea what was expected of me, so I went home with a big, burly guy who I found attractive. When we got to his place, I changed my mind but he forced me anyway. Aside from the physical pain, emotionally I felt dirty, drained and violated. It was so bad that I blocked out the memory for years until I told Dr. Winters, and she is the only person I've ever told. But that was only being raped once by one man. I couldn't imagine what Storm, Jean, Rogue and Jubilee were going through.

* * *

"Don't let the sluts talk you into removing their collars!" a guard barked at the men who were standing in line. "That white-haired bitch has been trying to get her men to take her collar off, promising them they'll enjoy it more that way. Don't listen to her."

As soon as the leader stepped away, one of the soldiers standing in line turned towards another. The two men hung out together quite a bit. "I hate doing this," the first one whispered.

"Be quiet," the second man said. "You want the guys to think you're queer?"

"Hell no. But I can't stand this. The women hate what we're doing."

The second soldier sighed. "No they don't. They're all a bunch of sluts. They like it."

"C'mon, Jeff. How can they all be sluts? Two of them were virgins when this thing started. And I know they can't stand what we're doing to them. That redhead who I had yesterday had her eyes closed, her teeth gritted….she was in a lot of pain, any idiot could tell."

"Would you shut up? Are you some sort of mutant lover? They deserve what they're getting. Just pretend you're punishing those mutants who destroyed the Sears Tower last year when 300 people were killed, or any of the fucking muties who destroy public property and kill innocent people."

"I doubt that teenager in there was involved in any of that." The man had raped Jubilee earlier on in the day. There was no doubt in his mind that the girl was in agony. He'd walked away feeling sick to his stomach and hoping to come up with plausible excuses for refusing to take part any longer. But there were no acceptable excuses. Whenever a soldier wasn't on his duty shift at his station, he was expected to be in the women's room availing himself of the prisoners.

"I don't want to hear any more from you, Mike. Mutant women are whores, they deserve what they're getting and they like it."

That was the end of the conversation. The first soldier noticed their place had shifted and they were getting closer to the front. He prayed that when it was his turn, he would be able to get it up.

Meanwhile, Jean worried about Jubilee. Whenever Jean was forced to break out of the mental trances her disciplined mind kept putting itself in, she listened for what was going on around her. All the women were kept on beds in one large room. During the periods of time Jean wasn't praying or trying to shut her mind off, it took her a while to realize what she * wasn't* hearing. Then it dawned on her. Jubilee had ceased her screaming and crying. The young woman had done it incessantly for a long time, but now she was silent which worried Jean. `Maybe she's come to accept it and is calm now,' Jean told herself. `But what if-'

Her line of thought was cut off as a soldier approached her to tell her that her break was over. Jean obediently walked back to her bed and once again tried to detach her mind from what was happening to her body.

* * *

I guessed that about four days had now gone by. Just my estimation based on facial hair. The FOH leader appeared with the men who brought us our food, which was unusual.

"How are we today?" he asked. No one even looked at him.

"Well, what can I update you on now? I think your females are getting a bit tired. I myself am a bit tired since I've had each one of them too many times to count now. Maybe the sluts will even welcome death at this point, which is fortunate because this ship has just about 62 hours to go before we get to our destination. My men will certainly miss them. In fact, we're debating whether or not to keep them-maybe we'll only kill you guys. We don't want to leave any filthy mutants alive but you can't get away with doing this to any other women nowadays. I haven't decided yet."

He turned to leave but stopped himself. "Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you something to read."

He placed a stack of magazines in the airlock and left the room. For a while none of us made any movement towards them till curiosity got the best of Hank. He picked them up and brought them back to where we sat. The Professor seemed interested so he handed him one, and handed another to me. The other guys hadn't really even looked up so he didn't offer them magazines.

The magazines were the FOH newsletter.

Just seeing their logo made my stomach churn, but again boredom and curiosity won out. I paged through the vile publication. After looking at it, I had no idea how FOH had so many members. The magazine was openly misogynistic and homophobic, and there was loads of thinly veiled racism in it too. Hank, the Professor, and I whispered about it and we determined that this was a publication for only hard-core FOH leadership, because FOH had another, tamer publication which was sold on newsstands and had millions of subscribers.

None of the others had taken notice of the magazines (Gambit and Colossus were sleeping, Cyclops was out of it, and Wolverine brooded in a corner, not looking up). Needless to say, the newsletter was filled with a lot of disgusting essays inciting violence against mutants and stories about beating and torturing mutants. Hank and I exchanged a glance when we reached the porn section of the magazine. It featured lots of images of women being bound, gagged, and raped. It was really repulsive.

Eventually each of the other guys did get their hands on a magazine. All I can say is that it didn't help things.

More time passed, and the FOH leader appeared before us again, looking disgusted. "We're going to be returning one of your females to you!" he announced. Our ears perked up with surprise and I gasped. In these few days (which felt like years), I had almost started feeling like we would never see them again. "She's no use for my troops anymore. She's gone crazy and we don't want her anymore."

My blood chilled and I had to force myself to breathe normally.

As if to torture us more, the leader left and didn't return for….a long amount of time (I have no idea how long it was really.) None of us moved or said anything but I saw looks of fear and hope on my teammates' faces. After what felt like hours, two guards opened the door and literally threw Jubilee through the airlock.

Jubilee. Except it wasn't Jubilee anymore. She was naked, and covered with scratches, bruises, blood and even some burn marks.

We rushed over to her, calling her name. Gambit lent his jacket and Wolverine his pants so she could be covered up. Colossus offered his jacket to use as a pillow so her head could be propped up. Hank and I knelt on either side of her.

"Jubilee? Jubilee?" Hank softly called her name.

Her name now was so ironic. Jubilee's face was a blank stare. She didn't blink, her eyes didn't focus on anything and she didn't react to any of us. She just lay limp on the floor. For a while I feared that she was dead but I saw her chest rise and fall, though very slowly.

"Some water, please," Hank directed. Gambit brought the water jug and dipper over. Hank dribbled a bit of water on Jubilee's lips, but she didn't react to that.

"Let's sit her up. She needs to drink," Hank said. We did so, and the dipper was pressed to her lips. Jubilee drank mechanically and without looking up, dribbling copious amounts of the water down her chin.

"This is a good sign," Hank said in his doctor's voice. "Her motor skills are still working. I think it's too early to call it brainlock." He glanced at the bathroom. "I'd like to attend to her wounds. Bobby, if you'll assist me."

He carried her into the bathroom, and I helped as Hank did what he could to wash out the injuries on her battered body. A lot of her bleeding was coming from between her legs, and even when Hank examined that area, Jubilee still did not react in any way. We didn't have much to work with in the bathroom except for cold water. We had no soap or towels and no clean clothes to use as bandages. When we did all we could, we dressed her again in Gambit's jacket and Wolverine's pants and carried her back into the main room.

"Well?" the Professor asked.

"She has a number of wounds, some of which are still bleeding. I can't do much else with what we have here. I need doctor's equipment and clean bandages." No use in saying anything more. We knew our captors wouldn't provide that.

"What can we do for her mental state?" Cyclops asked.

"Well, I'm no psychologist," Hank answered. "All I can recommend is that we take turns holding her hand and talking to her."

Having something like this to do seemed to recharge a lot of the guys. Even Cyclops ate a bit of his food and spent several hours comforting Jubilee. We all did. Her condition didn't change at all though. Still the same eerie staring at nothing, not reacting to anything we did.

"You really should control your women better," the leader said when he stopped in for a visit. "What on earth did she think she was doing, sleeping with so many men. No wonder she's lost her mind. Oh well, what does it matter? You're all going to be dead in less than 30 hours anyway."

Not long after his last visit, the FOH leader returned to us with three guards. This was a bit unusual; he seemed to be visiting us at regular intervals and rarely stopped by twice in a short period of time. He looked livid.

"Just when I thought you low down, sick mutants couldn't get any worse!" he said in a low, angry voice. "Just when I thought you were the filthiest, most hideous group of people on the planet, I find out you're even worse."

We were used to his taunting, his coming in here and telling us horrific things about how his troops were treating the women. We now had gotten to the point where none of us looked up at him and we try to block out his words. I could tell that frustrated him, so he yelled at us to look at him. When we didn't comply, he used the powers of the collars to torture us into looking up. Once again, we were defeated and we had no choice.

"I've been reading your personnel files," he told us, still sounding furious but speaking very slowly. "And I've learned that one of you is a disgusting, perverted faggot." He said the last word with a particular amount of hatred. "We don't much like your type here. In fact, I think you disgusting queers are the lowest group of people in the world, even lower than mutants. Faggots are the sickest, filthiest pile of shit on earth. And to be both a mutant and a sick queer-I've never seen anything more vile in my life."

I suppose at this point I should have been both mortified and terrified. But honestly, I was so emotionally and physically ill from everything in the past few days that I wasn't even quaking in my boots the way I should have been. I remember wondering how he would have known that I was gay, and then remembering if he read my file from the X-mansion, it would have to have something about me leaving the team seven years ago to go into therapy. I would imagine it was logical that the reason I sought therapy would be in there too.

I did, however, feel a jolt of fear when he looked at me. "Come here," he said.

Well, what else could I do? I could not –physically or mentally—endure any more torture from the collar. There wasn't any point in resisting.

I stood up and walked over towards the airlock. I stepped through. One guard immediately punched me in the stomach, and he must've had brass knuckles on or something because I doubled over in pain. I fell to the ground, coughing and sputtering. The guards laughed and took a few more hits at me before handcuffing my hands behind my back.

"My troops are going to have a lot of fun with you during the last hours of our journey," the leader told me. "What a shame that we're near the end of our trip. We could have had much more time to play with you." He might've said something else but I was having a real hard time listening, the pain was so intense. I could only hope that we were, indeed, near the end of the trip and my torture would be short.

They made me crawl out of the room, saying I wasn't allowed to walk. This was a difficult task, given that I was still in intense pain from the blow to my stomach and my hands were cuffed behind my back. I hobbled the best I could out of the room, the troops laughing.

I was forced to crawl in this manner for what seemed like an eternity, though we were really only walking down a long hallway. The guards and the leader escorted me into a small room. 'So I'm going to die here, now.' I thought. What a disappointment; what a way to go. Since re-joining the X-men, I had been inspired. If I was going to die, I wanted be able to say that I did something great in my life. Guess that wouldn't be happening now.

Just as we entered that room, the leader's communicator went off. "Sir, we need you in the engine room. Please come down here at once," the voice over the communicator said.

"Is something wrong?" the leader asked brusquely.

"No need for alarm, Sir but there's a small problem that we need your help to take care of."

The leader turned to the guards. "Do what you want to restrain him, but do not begin the fun without me." He turned and left the room.

The guards spent a long time haranguing me, tossing out every insulting word for "gay man" I'd ever heard and a few that were new to me. I just sat there, on the floor since I couldn't get up. They seemed to really enjoy hurling insults at me, and it took them a long time to move on to what they were going to do to me.

"Well," the shorter guard said to the taller one. "Let's get him ready. The guys are going to have fun with this. Stand up, sweetheart!" he commanded. This was a difficult task, as my stomach was in deep pain from the punches, and my knees, back and chest ached from the crawling down the hallway I had just been forced to do.

As I struggled, the taller guard said, "Where's the leash? That's what we're supposed to put on him, right?"

"It's in that cabinet on the right with the dog collar, the whips and the blindfold."

Oh great. Normally I would've thought of some joke to make at this point but I couldn't.

Once I made it to my feet, they backed me against a wall and the shorter guard held the dog collar. "We're supposed to put this on him. Or do we put this on and the thing that goes around his neck for the leash?"

"I think we do both. But wait a sec….don't we have to remove that collar that he's already got around his neck?" the taller guard asked.

"We have to. Otherwise we can't fit the leash and the dog collar on there."

I didn't quite believe what was happening. It took a second or two for it to register, but they pressed a few buttons on the remote control devise and my collar snapped off. I was free of my collar.

I had not a spilt second to waste. I turned myself into Iceman faster than they could blink, and my handcuffs snapped off like a thin layer of ice. Before the shocked guards could react, I froze them inside blocks of ice. I then grabbed their weapons and ran down the hall back to my teammates.

I encountered a few guards as I ran, but before they could react, I shot out a stream of ice. They and their weapons were also frozen inside huge ice blocks. I reached the door to the room my teammates were in. Maybe FOH wasn't so bright. The door was marked "PRISONERS."

Obviously, the door was locked. I turned it into a sheet of ice which I then easily kicked through. As Iceman, I felt invincible. And all the training I had done in the Danger Room was paying off.

I shall always treasure the looks on my teammates' faces when they saw me, but that day I had no time to savor it. I cannot even describe how they looked so I let you imagine. Then I simply did the same thing to the forcefield that I had done to the door. The guys jumped up and rushed towards me.

I reached Wolverine first and turned his collar into ice. He snapped it off. Wolverine and I then used claws and ice respectively to remove all of our teammates' collars.

By then, guards knew something was up but it was too late. We were far too powerful now that we had our powers back.

The details on what all happened next are a bit blurry for me. An alarm went off. We easily defeated the troops we encountered as we ran into the hallway. The Professor used his mind control to turn them away from fighting, but the rest of us fought more violently than ever. I saw Wolverine literally rip several of the guys to shreds. His claws were soon red with blood. Cyclops blasted them with his lasers as I suspect the setting he was using might not have been 'stun.' Gambit also blew up any guards he saw, indiscriminately. Beast carried Jubilee over his shoulder during the fight, using a hand weapon from the fallen guards with his free hand. Colossus carried the Professor until we found his wheelchair abandoned in a hallway.

"I know where the women are," the Professor said, obviously using his telepathic powers. "Follow me!"

He led us, and we successfully fought any and all troops we encountered. Whatever device they used to stun us at the mansion, they could not be allowed to use it again here!

We found Rogue, Storm and Jean in a large room with four beds. They were all naked, but soon as their collars were off they fought just as wildly and violently as the men. Rogue, not caring one bit that she was unclothed, demolished any guards she saw. She seemed to be seeking out a few specific ones and did some particularly gruesome things to them-but as far as I was concerned, those FOH scum had it coming. Storm was as out of control as Rogue, her emotions raging as she struck lightening at the soldiers, killing several. Only Jean held back from this sort of attacking.

I know that the Professor at one point yelled-and at another point telepathically told us-not to kill. It was shocking, though not surprising, that his order was disobeyed by several of the X-men. I suspected this would be discussed later.

In the confusion, panic, and adrenaline-rush of the battle, I really lose track of the details at this point. We took over the bridge, having killed, immobilized, or imprisoned all the others on this ship. We were free of the "Friends of Humanity."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next several hours were a time of clean-up for the X-men. They cleared away the corpses of FOH guards who had been killed in battle. They checked and double checked that the survivors would not be able to escape from the large cell they'd been thrown into.

Colossus and Iceman were assigned to temporarily man the bridge. They used the ship's computer interface to learn as much as they could about the nuts and bolts of running the ship. Fortunately, it was on auto-pilot to its destination and the computer was extremely user-friendly. After not long, Colossus and Iceman understood that they were in no immediate danger of crashing, losing life support, running out of fuel, or any other such catastrophes. They established monitors of the surviving FOH members' cell, to ensure that they would be watched at all times.

Professor X read the minds of several of the surviving FOH soldiers to discover that FOH had no other ships in this area. Colossus and Iceman learned that the ship they were on was equipped with a cloaking devise that would render them invisible to radar—even to the sensors of other FOH ships. They turned the cloaking device on for their protection.

Colossus and Iceman later reported that their ship was circling a planet's atmosphere. The Professor agreed that until things were more under control on the ship, it was probably best to remain circling the atmosphere until the group could get together and decide what to do next.

The X-men were all hungry for decent food, and soon located the cafeteria. For the first time in days, they ate decent, healthy food and lots of it. Clean clothing (non FOH uniforms) were found in the crew members' quarters.

Jubilee was immediately taken to the ship's sick bay. The FOH crew had one doctor left alive. Professor X used his telepathy to absorb the doctor's knowledge, and it turned out that the doctor had had some experience with gynecology. His knowledge on the matter was better than Beast's, and using the sophisticated technology in the infirmary, it was made possible to attend to Jubilee's wounds. She had lost a lot of blood, however. After checking with the rest of the team, it was found that both Wolverine and Gambit had the same blood type as her, so they both donated. She was expected to pull through, though Beast wasn't sure what the long term effects of her injuries might be.

Jubilee's emotional state was unchanged, however, and the prognosis on that end was not as positive.

Storm, Rogue and Jean also went to the infirmary. Their bodies were nearly as wounded as Jubilee, with numerous scratches and bruises, as well as the obvious physical trauma from surviving numerous rapes. Rogue was in constant pain from the two teeth that had been ripped out. Beast tirelessly attended to their wounds, with Cyclops and Gambit helping when needed. He also searched the computer database and learned how to conduct tests for sexually transmitted diseases.

Soon, Storm, Rogue and Jean were well enough physically that they did not need continuous medical attention. Jubilee, however, remained in sick bay with her more serious injuries.

Once their emergencies were taken care of, the group could re-organize and make some decisions. Everyone, however, was physically exhausted - sleep needed to be attended to first. Professor X arranged a schedule so that they slept in shifts. One person always observed the FOH members' prison cell, and another was to remain in the infirmary with Jubilee at all times (Storm, Rogue and Jean were exempted from guard duty since their need for rest was more dire). Video monitors were set up so that sick bay and the bridge were in constant visual contact.

Gambit was as physically exhausted as the rest of the X-men, and he was not assigned to guard duty for another six hours. Six full hours of rest! As tired as his body was, he wanted to be with the woman he loved.

Rogue was already striding towards the room she had been assigned to. (Iceman had located, via the computer, several sleeping rooms. Better yet, these were rooms that had not been used by any of the actual crew members on the ship. Each X-man received a designated room to use as their own.)

"Rogue, chere," Gambit called. Rogue didn't turn around and kept walking, but Gambit caught up to her and matched her stride. He said quietly and seriously, "Do you want Gambit to comfort you? I would be-"

"Shut up!" she yelled at him and walked faster.

"Wait, love, I didn't mean…..I didn't mean have sex. Gambit jus wants to be dere for you and help -"

"I said shut the fuck up and leave me alone!" she yelled, turning a few heads of their fellow X-men who were heading towards their quarters. Gambit looked at the anger and pain in his love's eyes, the mouth that was missing two teeth, and felt frightened.

"Okay," he said. Rogue strode off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jean lay on the bed of the room she was assigned to. Scott knelt on the floor next to her, holding her hand. He hadn't seen such pain and exhaustion on her face since the Phoenix saga.

"Oh, Scott," she murmured. "It is so good that you are here."

"Jean, I love you," he said softly. "What can I do? Can I bring you anything?"

"Just hold me. Come into the bed and just hold me."

Scott did as told. Slowly he got into place, laying next to her, his arms encircling her form. "I'm so tired, my love," Jean whispered. "I need to try to sleep. I don't want to talk now. But please stay with me."

"Yes, my love," he said. He gently kissed her as she shut her eyes. Beast had offered all the team mild sedatives to calm their minds and allow them to get desperately needed rest. Jean was one who took advantage of the medication and her brain was already slowing down as she drifted off into a deep sleep.

So many fears ran through Scott's brain. Would she ever be the same? Would she recover? What could he do to help? Scott glanced at his watch. Three hours, 46 minutes until it would be his shift for guard duty. He racked his brain, trying to think of a way to beg or bribe another X-man into taking his shift.

* * *

I sat next to Jubilee in sick bay, holding her hand, astounded at the events of the past few hours. My mind was whirling and I was fatigued, but I was an X-man. I could do it. I had a few hours till Wolverine would relieve me of my duty shift, but I could do it. Drinking loads of coffee helped too.

We were free at last. The surviving FOH members were locked up and wouldn't be a threat. We survived the horrific last few days, even when I had nearly given up.

And I had saved the day! Professor X, Cyclops, Wolverine, Gambit, Hank…..all of the guys had congratulated and thanked me at one time or another during the whirlwind last few hours. Because it was so hectic, no one had time to ask me how I broke free, but I saved the day nonetheless. I was walking on air.

Except I knew the team was seriously damaged. What Hank had once tried to discuss with us-rape being a way during war to not only degrade women but to basically demoralize one side-had succeeded for FOH. We were going to have to think of ways to deal with this. For once I was actually thinking about solutions and not just assuming that the Professor or Storm or Cyclops would come up with the answer.

Periodically I murmured something to Jubilee and I continued stroking her hands but I may as well have been talking to a statue. I choked back a feeling of utter hatred for FOH. At the same time, I didn't want to think too far in the future about Jubilee's condition. I just had to shut it out of my mind and hope that someday we got our Jubilee back.

The intercom beeped. It was Gambit, signaling me from the bridge. The video hook up allowed us to look at each other.

"Hi Gambit," I said. "Everything ok?"

"Everything fine. Everything boring as all hell. Gambit's been staring at consoles and monitors for the past few hours and going out of his mind with boredom."

"I understand."

"Listen….how's the kid?" People still seemed to think of Jubilee as a kid, even though she'd been with the group for a number of years and was now nearly 20 years old.

"No change, Gambit. No change."

"I hate those FOH bastards."

"Me too," I agreed. "I've never felt such hatred before." Looking at Gambit's face through the monitor, it was clear that he was really distressed. Well, we were all upset due to the events of the last few days, of course. But he really looked bad. "So….how are you doing?" I asked.

"Bobby, you know anything about women?"

Oh, right. Gambit, the suave good-looking straight man who undoubtedly has been around the block a number of times is asking the shy gay guy about women? But I knew he wasn't about to ask for tips on picking up girls (like he needed any.)

"Um….well yeah, as friends you know. I've always had a lot of women friends, if that's what you mean."

"Good. Gambit doesn't understand," he muttered.

"What happened?"

"It go like this. I see my girlfriend go off to her room. Gambit offer to comfort her but she tell me to go fuck off." His tone conveyed how dejected he was.

"What exactly happened? I mean, do you remember what all you said?"

"Yeah," Gambit went on to relay the conversation to me. He then added, "But I didn't mean at all that Gambit want to have sex with her now. I know enough not to bring dat up. Gambit wanted to offer to hug her and listen to her if she wanted to talk."

"I know you meant well, Gambit. But you gotta see it from her perspective. She's just lived through what have got to have been the worst 4 days – or however many it was – of her life. She is physically and mentally exhausted, she feels outraged and angry, and she feels dirty and disgusting. Try to think of a time you've felt that way. I mean, everyone might react differently to this but I think it's perfectly normal for someone to want to be alone."

Gambit sighed. "You make good sense, Bobby. But Gambit loves Rogue. He wants her to be happy and he doesn't how to do dat or even if she can be happy again ever."

"Rogue is strong as nails. She'll recover, sooner or later. I think, Gambit, you gotta just go with the flow and go with whatever she feels. She has to go at her own pace."

"I know dis. But what can I do to let her know?"

"Well, how about like next time you see her, you can tell her you care about her and ask her if there's anything you can do to make her feel better? And if she tells you to fuck off again, don't be upset. You might even want to expect that. And I think you had just better expect that it will take a while for things to get….normal between you two again. It may never be quite the way it was before but….but if you love each other, it will work out."

"You darn smart man, Bobby. Maybe you outta start a column giving advise to men about women."

"Sure!" I said. "`The Gay Guy's Guide to Women- for Straight Men'!"

"That's a little long, chere. What about 'Ask the Gay Guy'?

He and I both laughed uproariously. We hadn't done a lot of laughing in the last few days and this felt good, so we laughed our butts off even though it wasn't that funny. : )

Hours later, Wolverine came to take over my shift.

"How's the kid?" he asked. This is indeed the most popular question of the day.

"She hasn't changed," I said, shaking my head. "I've just been holding her hand and talking to her about anything."

Wolverine nodded. He turned his head from me and started sniffing around. I panicked for a second until I remembered that I had showered and used deodorant. "Are you looking for something?" I asked.

"Just wanted to see if Beast has been in here." Hank had offered to all the women that if they needed him for something medical, they could wake him up and he would meet them in sick bay.

"No, no one's come in to ask for him." I wondered why he would care whether Hank had been in here or not. After I while I thought maybe he was thinking about Jean and wondering if I'd seen her. I supposed if Jean herself had been in here he wouldn't be able to pick up her scent as easily since she probably didn't smell like herself anymore.

Wolverine had the same look to him that Gambit had - frustration and not knowing what to do. Strangely enough, I picked up from his body language that he didn't want me to leave right away.

"So, how are you, Wolverine?" I asked. Looking at him in the eyes no longer shot a twinge of fear through me.

"Terrible, like everyone else," he muttered.

"Well, at least we're not going to die and we've got control of the ship," my voice sounded strangely perky.

"Who appointed you Little Miss Sunshine?" His tone was not angry, and we both smiled at that.

"Wolverine, is there anything I can do to help you feel less terrible? Do you need someone to talk to?" Where were these words coming from? Maybe I was emboldened by my conversation with Gambit.

"Thanks, Bobby but I don't feel much like talking now. But maybe later, ok?"

I sensed he really did want to talk then, but that was really cool that he seriously said we could talk later. I took my leave of him and went to my room to sleep. I took the sedative Hank had offered and as soon as I hit the pillow, I immediately lost consciousness and didn't wake until the alarm I'd set woke me.

We decided to hold our meeting in the infirmary. It made the most sense, since Hank advised us (after reminding us that he was not a psychologist) that Jubilee still should not be left alone. Monitors were rigged so we could keep an eye on the FOH guards' cell.

The team slowly filed into the room, sitting on chairs that we arranged in a circle. Everyone looked a bit strange, dressed in sweat pants, khakis, plain T-shirts, sweatshirts, and the other sort of gray and white clothes we'd found on the drawers of our rooms. As long as they weren't FOH uniforms, though, who cares? With Jubilee unconscious, it was just the Professor, Storm, Hank, Rogue, Gambit, Colossus, Wolverine and myself. Two team members were conspicuously absent.

"Cyclops and Jean will not be joining us," the Professor said. "Jean is feeling unwell and Cyclops elected to stay with her in their room. He is listening to us, though, via his communicator. After the meeting I'll get his feedback on what he thought, but he said we could go ahead and make decisions as needed."

I glanced at Wolverine and saw a look on his face. I didn't need to be a telepath to read it….he was upset that Jean was feeling so bad and he wanted more than anything to be the one to comfort her.

"We have a lot of things to talk about," the Professor said. "We might as well toss them out one by one. Colossus, would you update us on the status of the ship since you have been doing such a great job with learning ship functions?"

The burly Russian smiled. "The bottom line is that we in no danger now. We are using ship's cloaking device, which make us completely invisible to other ships-even to other FOH ships. So even if there was any ships in the area, they could not detect us.

"We have a lot of life support, food, and fuel. This ship is built with long term mission in mind. If the ship's computer is right-and I have no reason to think it is not-we have enough essential supplies to last two years."

Looks of surprise were exchanged. Two years!

"Thank you, Colossus. That is good to hear," the Professor said.

"Gambit has a question," Gambit said. "Bobby, you never tell us how you got free. How did you get dat collar off?"

"Wait a minute," Storm said. "I need you to explain even more. I have no idea what happened or how any of you got free. One minute we were trapped in our room, the next minute an alarm went off, the guards all ran out and later you guys broke down the door. After the frenzy of the battle and everything else, I was so exhausted I went to my room and fell asleep. But I would like to hear the whole story."

All eyes turned to me. Great. I fought back my feelings of nervousness and reminded myself I had nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, I saved the day. "Well, you see, here's what happened," I said, looking at Storm. Rogue, too, looked interested. "Um, well, these guards came in to the cell that all of us guys were in. Along with the guy who was their leader, I guess."

"The blonde guy with the mustache," Storm said, nodding. Clearly she knew who he was. He had been killed, by the way, in the battle. Rogue had seen to it that he met a most fitting end.

"Yeah, well so they came into our cell," I continued. "And, um, he was all upset, like he said he read our files and he, um, found out that I was, you know, gay and all. And he really didn't like that, so he-uh, the guards um….took me out of there. So they took me into this room, and then the leader guy got like called out of the room. So the two guards they, um, they took my collar off me." Clearly I would never be a bard.

"They just *took* your collar off?" Wolverine asked.

"Yeah."

"Why would they do that?" Colossus asked. "Did you ask them to?"

"No, I didn't. I think that they just weren't thinking. They wanted to put something else around my neck," (no matter how much anyone probed, I was *not* going to mention the dog collar!), "and to do that, they needed to remove my collar. They didn't understand what it would mean. Lapse in their judgement I guess."

"That is amazing," Storm said, looking pensive. "I tried so many times to get the soldiers to take my collar off…." Her voice trailed off. She looked weary and dejected but she also looked basically alright. Someone glancing at her would not know that she had just survived days of horrific torture and I wondered how she did it. Then I remembered that even in the X-men's early years she was clear that she kept her emotions in check, and that when she didn't do so, her powers went berserk. I think that's what happened during our battle with the FOH and why she violently killed so many of them. She probably had been pushed to her limit and couldn't control her powers after that. Now that she had rested, she was back to her controlled self.

Of course who knew what really lay beneath the surface. Storm asked me to continue my story and I filled her in on what happened from there.

"Thank you, Bobby," the Professor said.

"Well," Storm said. "We've talked about how we got here. Now-where do we go from here?"

For a while, the room was silent.

Hank piped up. "Professor, I would like to study the collars. We need to learn how they work."

"Of course," Xavier said.

Rogue glanced at the young woman laying on the nearby bed. "How's Jubilee?"

"Mentally, I am not sure what to do," Hank said. " I know I risk boring you by repeating this once more, but I am not a psychologist." Hank turned towards the Professor. "Of course, now that we have our powers back, perhaps that is the route to take."

The Professor nodded. "Before I took my rest break, I scanned her mind. It is as if her consciousness is locked inside a safe. If need be, I can erase her memories and open up that safe. I prefer do this only as a last resort, though. I think it is preferable for her to recover herself if she can."

The Professor and Hank exchanged a look. "Perhaps," Hank said, "we can allow her a few more days to recover herself. If she does not show signs of improvement, then your services would be useful."

The Professor nodded, "Plus, I sensed that we are doing no harm by waiting. It is not as if her mind is going further into that metaphorical safe. It is staying where it's at, we just cannot reach it now."

There was silence for a few moments. The thought of what she must have endured to get to that state mentally….I glanced at Rogue. The look in her eyes was not that of the Rogue I had known before. I wondered how Jean was doing, but the fact that she wasn't here was not a good sign.

"What about physically?" Storm asked. "How is she?"

"She is recovering physically," Hank said. "She lost some blood but her blood supply is now adequate."

There was silence again for a few more moments. I wondered if the group was trying to avoid the most difficult question that was sure to arise-where do we go (literally) from here? Finally Hank asked another pressing question, one that was not likely to be any easier to resolve.

"What do we do with the surviving Friends of Humanity on board this ship?" Hank asked.

"What are the numbers?" the Professor asked.

Colossus had used the ship's internal sensors to get a count. "Computer tells us that 87 guards were killed in battle with us. There are 141 imprisoned," he added, as he glanced at the monitor.

"That's 141 too many," Wolverine growled.

"What do we do with them?" I asked.

Rogue regained a glint in her eyes and spoke for the first time at the meeting. "There's no question of what to do to those bastards. I regret that I didn't get to kill all of them during battle but that can be taken care of."

Storm spoke up. "Vengeance is our right. They have forfeited their right to live and it is our duty to see that they never do to any other women what they did to us."

I looked around at the faces sitting in the circle. This was not going to be an easy meeting.

Hank spoke first, taking a deep breath. "I understand and sympathize with your anger. But it is wrong to take human life except in self defense. Now that we have them imprisoned, killing them cannot be justified."

Rogue stood up and yelled at Hank. "You weren't the one in there getting raped!" She hesitated as if she was going to say more but I think she got choked up and too furious to go on.

"Rogue and Storm are right," Wolverine said. "Killing them * would* be an act of self defense. As long as they have those damn collars and their stun weapon which immobilized all of us at the mansion, they are a threat. We don't know what other weapons they have. They could escape. If we don't want to get captured again or killed, we have to get rid of them."

Colossus spoke up. "I don't think that FOH can escape now. Their cell has nothing in it that could be used as weapon, and forcefield in there is impenetrable." He sighed. "But despite that, I agree with you three. `An eye for an eye.' Remember, how many mutants they kill back at the mansion during battle? They kill all Morlocks, they kill Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, Thunderbird, many more. And before that, they kill Magneto….They have enough blood on their hands."

The room was silent. The Professor said, "Bobby, what do you think?"

"I have to agree with Colossus and the others," I said. "Friends of Humanity kidnapped, raped and murdered. Those are all offenses that are punishable by death. They initiated this, they are the ones who chose to wage war on us."

"And if they had succeeded in doing what they intended to do," Wolverine said, "we wouldn't be sitting here talking about this!"

"What about you, Gambit?" the Professor asked.

"Dose bastards deserve to die," Gambit said. "Shit, just look at Jubilee over dere! Look what they did to her! Dis reason enough."

The Professor took a breath and then spoke. For once he seemed to be groping for words. "Each of us has had our say. Let us wait until our next meeting and discuss this further. We need Scott and Jean's thoughts too."

Rogue's eyes narrowed. "Why are we waiting? I want my revenge now!"

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," Hank said. "There is no harm in waiting, at least a little before making such a monumental decision." He paused. "And I do have one more thought to add. If we do kill the remaining FOH members on this ship, we cannot return to earth. We will not be able to convince a jury it was in self-defense and it is unlikely that they will see we were justified in doing so-despite the horrible things they did to us and the number of mutants FOH previously killed. I agree with the Professor that we need to at least sleep on what we said and turn it over in our heads more. This is a huge decision."

Others around the circle nodded and expressed agreement with the idea of waiting. Rogue shot hateful glances to Hank.

There was silence again for many moments before Storm broke it. She looked thoughtful. "Beast, what you just said," she began, "I don't think we can return to earth anyway, can we? We already killed 87 FOH members. People back on earth fear and despise us more now than ever. Even if we had our battles on videotape….even if we had videotapes of FOH killing the other X-men at the mansion and of what they did to us on board this ship….no jury is going to believe that was self-defense. If we do return to earth, we will be imprisoned or executed. Or we will have to spend the rest of our lives on the run, evading the authorities."

Storm's words echoed in the room. She was right. How could we ever return to earth?

We discussed a few other things at the meeting. The Professor planned to read the surviving FOH members' minds to gain as much information as he could about their plans and activities of other FOH ships.

"What about the course that our ship is on currently?" Storm asked. "We are circling a planet right now. This is the planet they intended to take us to, right?"

"We think so," the Professor said. "The ship was on autopilot to this planet. As soon as we took over the bridge, we scanned the planet for life forms in the hopes that we might find members of Alpha Flight or other mutants they brought here. Unfortunately, there is no human life on the planet below us."

"I wonder what they planned to do to us," Wolverine mused. "They told us they had a particularly gruesome manner of death in store for us on the planet."

"This is something we'll need to decide," Hank said. "Do we explore the planet at some point? Or should we continue circling the planet? Of course eventually we'll need to decide whether or not we return to earth, and if not, where do we go?"

I looked at the weary faces sitting around the circle. No one looked as if they wanted to tackle those questions today. The group decided that for now we would remain having the ship cloaked, circling the planet. We resolved to meet either in 24 or 48 hours, depending on whether Jean would be up to joining us.

"Is there anything else we need to discuss today?" the Professor asked. He looked directly at me with a questioning look in his eyes. Oh, of course. He's a telepath and he knew I had an idea. I made a small motion of shaking my head since I didn't want to bring it up then. The meeting was concluded.

As the group slowly disbursed, the Professor approached me. "Bobby, I sensed you had something else to say," he told me, when we were out of earshot of those still lingering in sick bay. "I generally try to avoid entering people's minds but you felt this strongly. I didn't call on you, though, so as to protect your privacy."

"I appreciate that," I said. "Um, I do have something on my mind but as I thought of it, I thought maybe it was too early to bring it up to the group."

"Do you wish to share it with me?"

I shrugged, "Sure. I was just thinking….sooner or later we are going to need to address what happened here and how it's effecting us psychologically. How it's going to effect the team and our dynamics. I mean, we were captured and….some of us were tortured. I think we can't just let it go."

The Professor nodded. "I wholeheartedly agree. And I also concur that it is too early to bring this up with the team yet." He glanced at Hank who was tending to Jubilee. "I am not sure how to go about addressing this. Please, think of ideas and I will do the same."

I nodded, trying to conceal my happiness that he had liked my idea and seemed to value my opinion. After the Professor left the room, I mused that I needn't have bothered to try to hide my feelings of joy since undoubtedly he could've read them.

* * *

The group headed down the hallway following the meeting when Wolverine got an idea. "Hey, gang," he said. "I found out that this place has a gym. Who's up for basketball?"

Colossus visibly brightened at Wolverine's words. "Great idea! I love to play basketball."

"Count me in," Gambit answered. Immediately after the meeting he had turned towards Rogue but her eyes told him to stay away. He was desperate for something to do and he enjoyed the game as much as Colossus did.

Rogue considered the idea. "I'm in," she said, relishing the idea of getting rid of some of her pent-up anger.

Storm shook her head and Wolverine's questioning glance. "No thank you, " she said. She wanted to head back to her room and do some meditation. She intended to raid the ship's storage area in the hopes of locating a candle.

Wolverine looked back at the infirmary. Bobby, Beast and the Professor were still in there. He didn't think any of them would want to join them but knew it was best to extend the invitation.

"Thank you, Wolverine, but I wish to stay with Jubilee and begin studying the collars," Hank said. "Some other time."

"No thanks," Bobby answered. Sports such as basketball brought up nightmarish memories for him of his high school days.

The game did wonders for Rogue. She played like a madwoman and it felt great. Although she was teamed with Gambit for this game, her communications with him that afternoon were strictly confined to the basketball court. Most X-men enjoyed sports, and Rogue knew that none of the guys would ever think of treating her differently during sports because she was a woman. Wolverine and Colossus were formidable adversaries but she and Gambit also made a strong team. The game forced her-and the others-to focus all their attention on what they were doing and temporarily forget the horrors they had survived.

After the exhausting game, Rogue immediately returned to her room to shower. Gambit had started after her, but the look she gave stopped him cold. She didn't want to think of Gambit right now or of any feelings he might stir in her.

The infirmary had become the center of activities for the X-men due to their need to keep someone with Jubilee at all times. As long as they had no immediate plans to deviate from the ship's course, they could monitor ship functions from there.

The team members each continued to rotate shifts but now only one person was needed for "guard duty" at a time. Whoever was on duty at a given moment was assigned to keep an eye on the monitor of the cell that held the surviving FOH members, monitor the bridge functions (which generally involved staring at a few consoles that never changed), as well as periodically talk to Jubilee. No change occurred on any of these three fronts. Jubilee didn't move or react, and the FOH members were restless but confined in their cell.

Beast volunteered for the unpleasant task of periodically bringing food and water to the prisoners. He expected them to begin their usual taunting and spewing of hateful words but most of the FOH members were quiet. They trembled in terror, sensing quite correctly that their lives were in danger.

Meanwhile, Jean was spending the day alternating between taking naps and taking baths. She was exhausted after the ordeal of the last few days. And no matter how much she bathed, she never felt really clean. Cyclops was warmed that Jean wanted him with her, and that was where he spent his time. Jean didn't talk much but they periodically touched and she told him she appreciated that he stayed with her. Cyclops felt a twinge of guilt-he now owed his team members since they were taking over his guard duty shifts for him. As co-leader of the X-men, part of him knew he should be there for his shifts. But he also knew his number one priority was to stay with Jean as she needed him now. Besides, his friends assured him that guard duty wasn't all that difficult anyway and Beast was spending most of his time in the infirmary as it was.

By the end of the day, Jean was feeling better and wanted to get up and explore the ship. She and Cyclops got up and first decided to pay a visit to Jubilee in sick bay.

"The poor girl," Jean said quietly as she reached for Jubilee's hand. Scott had his arm around his wife's shoulders.

Bobby, who was on guard duty at the time, nodded. "We always have someone in here with her, to talk to her and hold her hand. But she hasn't done anything to indicate that she can hear us."

"The Professor and I can reach her if we need to. We can draw her out," Jean said. She looked at Jubilee, laying on the bed with her eyes still eerily open but her facial expression frozen. Jean knew she did not want to begin probing the girl's mind or deal with the abominations in there. She had lived through it all too and was trying to not dwell on it. Looking at Jubilee brought all these hurtful feelings to the surface.

"I know. It was talked about at the meeting. The Professor thinks we should give her some time and hope she might recover on her own," Bobby said.

Jean nodded, still looking at Jubilee.

The door to the infirmary opened and Wolverine entered. "Hey, you're early for your shift!" Bobby said to the Canadian.

He might as well have spoken to the wall since Wolverine's attention was on the woman standing in the room. Jean and Cyclops both turned their heads when Wolverine approached them.

"Hi, Wolverine," Scott said.

"Hi Cyke." Wolverine said and turned to Jean, looking at her face. Her eyes were far away but he was heartened that she looked serene. "Hi Jean," he said softly. Her body language told him it was acceptable for him to approach, so he did. "Jean, I just wanna say that I feel terrible about what happened to you and if there is anything I can ever do to help you….please let me know."

Jean did not need her powers; Wolverine's eyes and tone spoke of his sincerity. She reached for one of his hands and held it for a moment. "Thank you," she said looking deep into his eyes. They held each other's gaze for a bit.

Bobby felt a bit awkward to be observing this exchange, but the others in the room seemed to have forgotten that he was there. He did glance up and see that Cyclops didn't look jealous or upset at the interchange that had taken place between his wife and Wolverine. Of course it was often hard to read what was behind those dark glasses.

The Professor and Beast made their way to the FOH members' cell. The members of the anti-mutant group were quiet as always when Beast placed food and water through their airlock. They were too proud to beg that their lives be saved and smart enough to know that hurling insults at the mutants was not a good idea.

The Professor accompanied Beast because he needed some answers. When the supplies had been sent through the force field, the two men exchanged a look and nodded. The Professor seized control of one of the soldier's minds. He compelled the man to walk through the airlock as the rest of the soldiers were mentally held back from rushing the airlock. The man quietly sat next to the Professor, and Xavier began probing the man's mind.

Xavier did what he could to brace himself as he knew none of this would be pleasant. Images of the tragic battle that night shot through the Professor's mind via the soldier's memory. The mansion was burned to the ground. Corpses of Morlocks and X-men littered the grounds. Three soldiers laughed as they hacked Callisto's body to pieces. Another Morlock had a collar around his neck and was held by two soldiers as a third one beat him senseless. The leader admonished the soldiers to knock it off and help pummel the mansion.

So the Institute and mansion were both gone. Charles closed his eyes for a second. He pretty much already knew this but the images from this soldier's memory were so clear. He probed the man's mind to go back further in time. Xavier knew this wasn't wise but he had to see what became of his friend. He had to know how Magneto died.

He saw Magneto with a collar around his neck being beaten and whipped mercilessly by FOH soldiers. They were particularly brutal towards Magneto knowing he hated non-mutants almost as much as they hated his kind. Xavier's old friend and his surviving henchmen, were taken to the planet that the ship now circled. The planet's surface contained a large pit full of acid. Magneto, Mystique, Sabertooth and the others were dropped one by one into the pit. They screamed in agony as their bodies were slowly, slowly eaten away by the acid. Death by this method took at least ten minutes but to the victims it seemed an eternity. The pain was so excruciating that Xavier himself felt a jolt of it.

When the Professor broke the mind link with the soldier, Beast knew his teacher was visibly shaken. They made their way back to the infirmary together.

The X-men had dinner together that evening in the infirmary. The entire team was there that night except for Storm who was fasting and meditating in her room. The group relished eating a full meal. The ship's mess hall had a full service food replicator which was able to whip up complete, nutritious meals in no time. Following the junk they had subsisted on for the past several days, this food was delicious.

"Professor," Colossus began, "Did you get information from soldiers?"

"I did," the Professor began softly, unsure of how much to divulge. "I am afraid that none of it was good."

The team members glanced at each other. None were surprised but each considered how much more bad news they wanted to listen to now.

Wolverine took a peek at Jean. She sat next to Cyclops, eating very little. Her eyes still were distant and tired, but it had to be a good sign that she was there and eating something. She and Cyclops sat so close to each other that they were almost on top of each other and they periodically stopped the little eating they were doing to hold hands. Wolverine brushed off, as he had so many times in the past, the bitter sting of jealousy. The outrage he felt towards the FOH for what they did to Jean and the others was the predominant feeling in his body though, and it took every once of self-control to keep him from going to their cell and ripping each FOH member to pieces.

Rogue, meanwhile, ate her meal as if there were no tomorrow. She was already on seconds and nearing thirds when her teammates were still on their firsts. She felt the same as Wolverine. Periodically she entertained the idea that if the question of the FOH members' fate was not decided soon, she would decide it for the team.

Beast spoke, "Would you share with us, Professor, what you learned?"

The Professor nodded. "The FOH destroyed the mansion. It and the Institute are gone."

This clearly didn't surprise any of the X-men but still the looks on their faces were pained.

"Our home," Gambit said quietly and looked down. For a man who had taken years to really commit to truly being an X-man, the loss of the team's home was a huge blow.

Jean placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Scott placed an arm around her.

"I, too, was hurt when I found out what had been done," the Professor said. Cyclops mused that "hurt" had to have been an understatement. The man had poured his entire life into the Institute and mansion. "But I have been thinking about this for the last several hours. * We* are still alive. We are still the X-men, and there are more mutants being born every day. They cannot destroy us all. As much as this pains me, we will go on. We are a team and that's what's important. Despite everything that has happened, I give thanks that we are still sitting here together as a family."

Jean looked up. She went over to Xavier and hugged him. The entire team was similarly touched. Dinner was finished in relative silence but with gratitude for what they had survived.

When Rogue returned to her room after dinner that evening, there was a note under the door. "Can I do anything to help you? I love you. G." She glanced at the note and put it down.

Gotta give that man credit for trying, Rogue mused. Over the years she had pushed him away so many times yet he always persevered.

Her mind flashed back to the last time she had broken up with him, about a year and a half ago. She had ceased speaking to him without telling him why. Finally one day he had corned her. "Look, mister, I just don't wanna be your girlfriend anymore!" she had yelled at him.

"Would you at leas tell Gambit why?" he had asked.

He really had to push to get her to say anything. Finally she had exploded, "Go and get yourself a * real* woman instead, ok?"

Once she let that out, he wouldn't go away until she elaborated. Rogue had been crying by then, something she never did. "The way we have sex is the way most kids do it when they're in high school! Go and get yourself a real woman and so I don't have to be reminded that I'm…..I'm…." she had burst into tears then, though the word she was groping for was "freak" or something so akin.

"Come here, chere," Gambit had said, hugging her. She had wanted to throw him across the room but didn't because her body was starving for his touch. She let him hug her and drank in the warmth. Her heart sped up in that annoying way it always did when he was around. "Gambit loves you. And Gambit loves our sex life. He loves it very, very much. Gambit thought you did too, chere."

"I do," she admitted through tears. "You know that!"

"Den what's the problem?"

They had talked some more and Rogue promised to try to work through her feelings of inadequacy. Their relationship lived on. But this night, as Rogue prepared for bed she didn't want to be around him. She didn't want any man to touch her.

Rogue shut off the light and stepped into bed. In the past, Rogue was always so tired by nighttime that sleep had come the instant she hit the pillow. Those blissful nights of effortless sleep might be behind her now, though. As soon as her eyes were closed, her treacherous mind replayed horrific images that she wished she could forget. Rogue was naked, her hands cuffed behind her back. She was forced to stand on a platform. Jubilee was standing next to her, similarly naked and handcuffed, crying her eyes out. Moments earlier all four of the women had been examined by one of the guards. Rogue's hymen had been a little worse for wear, but it was still there as the fingers and toys that she and Gambit inserted at times didn't break it.

One man, apparently the auctioneer, stood behind Jubilee, loudly proclaiming how young she was and that she was a virgin. Scores of FOH soldiers stood by the platform, many of them bidding on her. The guard fondled Jubilee's small breasts as she continued to wail. The bidding increased until one man won out. He roughly grabbed Jubilee by the arms and brought her to one of the beds in the large room. Rogue heard him slap her and yell at her to be quiet. She heard Jubilee beg him not to hurt her.

It was Rogue's turn next. The man conducting the auction spoke in his booming voice. "I know it's hard to believe, but this beautiful mutie is also a virgin! You can be her first! And look at these big titties, isn't she a prize? Bidding starts at-" the man wasn't expecting Rogue to hit him in the stomach with her handcuffed hands. He reached for a collar device and tortured her with waves of debilitating pain. She fell to the platform ground on her knees. The auctioneer kicked her. "And she's a feisty one! You can be the first man to tame her!"

Dozens of soldiers broke out in a bidding war, with bids going quite a bit higher than the price Jubilee had been bought for. The man who finally won, having just pledged two month's pay, smiled gleefully and led his prize away. Rogue was still in immense pain from the collar and could not protest as he dragged her away to a free bed. The shock of feeling skin against skin gave way to more pain as the man yanked her legs apart and forced his way inside her. Rogue felt as if she was being penetrated by a knife, she was so dry. She-

Enough! Rogue sat up in bed, trying to block these images out. Nothing would stop them. Her heart raced. Shit. She reached for her communicator and called up one of her teammate's rooms.

"Wolverine here," the voice answered. He didn't sound as if he'd been asleep.

"It's Rogue," she said.

"Rogue. Is something wrong?"

"Wolverine, you told me earlier today that if there was anything you could do to help, to let you know."

"Yes," he said eagerly. At last! Wolverine had felt so useless when so many of his friends were in such pain.

"Will you play basketball with me?"

"Whatever you want, darlin."

The two friends met in the hallway and walked to the gym. Most of their teammates were asleep, except for Colossus who was on guard duty. They checked in with him to tell him where they were going. He nodded and made them promise to include him next time they played when he wasn't on guard duty.

"Wolverine," Rogue said during a well-earned break. The friends had played an aggressive, exhilarating game. "If the group doesn't decide to do away with those FOH fuckers, I am going to do away with them myself."

"I'll help you, darlin. I need to sink my claws into some FOH shit."

"Alright, sugar!"

Meanwhile, Scott and Jean retired to their room after taking a walk around the ship. "There are so many things going through my mind now," Jean murmured. "I feel like I can't digest it all yet."

"I know what you mean," Scott said. "I think it is going to take some time for it to all sink in."

Jean began undressing for bed. "I can't believe that the mansion and the Institute are gone. But I also feel like I don't want to talk about these things now."

"I think maybe Storm has a good idea in meditating." Scott paused. "Jean, you know, if you ever want to talk about….what happened to you, I will listen."

"I'll let you know when I want to talk about it, my love," she said looking at his handsome face. She felt his love, his caring and knew he shared the pain she was experiencing. "I have been meaning to tell you all day that you are really wonderful. I don't think I could ask for a more supportive man. But I'm feeling just numb right now and I can't deal with it yet."

"I understand. I've been wishing all day I could do something more to help."

"You're doing exactly what I would've asked you to."

"I wish….I wish it had been me suffering instead of you."

Jean went over to his side of the bed and embraced Scott. They hugged for many long moments, savoring the warmth before Jean broke it off. "There is one thing that I suppose I don't need to say," she paused. "You know it might be a while before I'm ready to have sex again."

Scott nodded. "If you never wanted to again, I would still love you."

Jean smiled. "I don't think it will be 'never', Slim. And I knew you wouldn't pressure me but I thought I should say it anyway." She placed a soft, quick kiss on his lips. "I love you, Scott."

The couple climbed into bed and shut off the light.

* * *

The next morning, I was in the infirmary perched next to Jubilee, feeding her breakfast. The way she ate was so creepy. She still just stared straight ahead, not reacting to anything. When I took the spoon close enough to her lips and was insistent about putting it in, she opened her mouth wide enough to let the oatmeal in and mechanically swallowed.

The Professor entered the room and we greeted each other. He looked intently at Jubilee, his eyes sad.

I continued to feed Jubilee and soon Storm entered the infirmary.

"Good morning Professor, Bobby, " she greeted, nodding at each of us. That woman had such a regal and dignified manner at all times. Sometimes I felt I was I was in the presence of a queen (or the African goddess she had ounce been considered.)

We both returned her greeting and Storm turned towards the Professor. "Professor, I looked at the guard duty schedule and I noticed that I am not on it, nor is Jean or Rogue." As always, she sounded firm and assertive but not at all angry.

"Cyclops and I felt that after all you three endured, you should be exempt from guard duty, at least for the time being," the Professor said.

"I thank you for your concern but I am feeling better and am certainly up to the job of guard duty. If Rogue and Jean feel otherwise, that's their choice but I insist on serving guard duty like everyone else."

"Very well," the Professor said. "You know yourself best." He paused. "Storm, I only ask one thing of you."

"Anything for you."

"Most victims of torture take some time to recover from their ordeal. No one is invincible and I hope you will allow yourself-"

"Professor, I do appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I am fine."

With that last sentence, Storm sounded just a touch angry. I felt concerned for her, but I also reminded myself that she was tough and knew how to take care of herself. If her manner of dealing with her experience was to bury it for now, maybe that was for the best.

Jean Grey came into sick bay to check on Jubilee not long after Storm's exchange with the Professor. Jean and the Professor discussed Jubilee's condition, both unsure of exactly when it would be appropriate for them to intervene. Jean seemed to feel that it may almost be best to let her mind stay "on this vacation" for a while, while the Professor said his instincts indicated that they should intervene after not much longer.

I myself was getting just a little tired of people conducting conversations as if I weren't in the room. But I held back my angry impulse and reminded myself that I wouldn't have had a heck of a lot to contribute to either discussion. I decided to work on one thing I did well…..holding Jubilee's hand and talking to her. Since I was on duty for this shift, I periodically glanced at the monitors of the FOH members' cell and the controls that regulated ship functions. Everything was status quo, and I told Jubilee as much.

A strange thing happened as I spoke to her. I had to blink a few times but it seemed that her eyes shifted and focussed on me. I felt a surge of excitement and fought to suppress it. I did squeeze her hand with gentle pressure and continued talking on.

The Professor, who had left the room, returned and moved beside me. After observing for a few moments, he said softly, "Good work, Bobby. The fact that she's looking at you is a major step. Keep it up."

Hank later came in and was as excited over this change as I was. He commended me too, though I don't know what exactly it was I did.

I remained with Jubilee for most of the day. She didn't do anything other than clearly look at and focus on me, but both the Professor and Jean said that her mind was more aware, more focussed. All the other X-men came in at some point during the day to tell me what a great job I was doing and to talk to Jubilee themselves. I cannot say whether she really * heard* the words we were saying, but she definitely was reacting to our presence, even if the reaction was a small one.

You know, I gotta say that I would never have figured Wolverine for such a softie. Well, "softie" is the wrong word but when he heard that Jubilee was doing a little better, he headed straight for sick bay. He asked me if he could take over for a while, and he held her hand as he said a lot of encouraging things to her. Clearly he cared about her very much. I decided that Wolverine would be a wonderful person to have as a friend. It was stupid of me to have ever been afraid of him.

The group decided to meet that evening, during dinner to discuss a number of things. They sat at the table in the infirmary, with Jubilee's bed a few feet away from the group. I offered to remain away from the table so I could be in physical contact with Jubilee. I munched on my dinner while feeding Jubilee. She kept looking at me as I fed her, her eyes sometimes looking at the fork to see what it was she would be eating.

Meanwhile, I could hear the discussion of the other X-men well. Before the meeting started, the Professor encouraged me to contribute even though I wasn't sitting with the group. This time, everyone was present for the meeting; all 11 of us were in the room and everyone save Jubilee and I were seated around the table.

"I have news about FOH other ships," Colossus began. "Our sensors show they sending two starships this way to investigate what happen."

"Now there is no need for alarm," the Professor said. "Remember that they cannot detect us while we are cloaked. But still, I wonder if it might not be prudent to break orbit and head away from this parsac."

Cyclops spoke up," That makes sense to me. It couldn't hurt to get some distance between us and them. Especially since we know there aren't any mutants or anyone left alive on the planet below."

So it was agreed. Colossus got up and adjusted the ship's controls to take us out of orbit and away from the planet we were circling. We were heading farther from Earth now. I noticed that Colossus really seemed to enjoy working at the ship's controls. He had been the first to jump up from his seat for the honor of pressing a few buttons to alter our course.

Hank was the next to speak up. I knew what he was going to say as he'd told me in private earlier in the day. It wasn't pleasant news.

"I have been monitoring Earth's media from our computer," Hank said. This ship had some pretty fantastic equipment. "Our skirmish with the FOH back at the mansion has made the news. Unfortunately, it looks as if the details of the….encounter have been altered by someone very skilled in film splicing." Hank got up from the table, cued the VCR and showed us the news report. The report made it looked as if we had launched an attack (pretty amazing, considering that the battle took place * at* the mansion. So we launched an attack and a bunch of FOH-ers just * happened* to be there?) The newscaster said that "out of control mutants" killed 12 FOH members in this "aggressive and uncalled for attack." She went on to say that the mutant group had stolen one of the FOH starships. Several quotes from citizens were aired, with people saying once again that this is justification for doing all sorts of bad things to mutants.

We watched the report grimly. Several of our names were mentioned; our pictures shown. I knew what was going through everyone's heads. The prospect of returning to earth was looking dimmer and dimmer.

"There is more on this tape, pertaining to mutants," Hank said.

The tape continued on and the newscaster spoke again. "In a related story," she read, "the Mutant Sterilization Act continues to gain support in both the House and Senate. A floor vote is expected by next week, the bill should pass overwhelmingly, and the President has said he will sign."

The news footage cut to one of the Senators who co-sponsored the bill. "This bill will stem the mutant population explosion. It requires all male mutants under the age of 70 to undergo a vasectomy, and all female mutants under the age of 55 to undergo hysterectomy."

Everyone sitting around the table looked stunned. Several people's mouths dropped open. This was a brand new bill, and we had spent so much time training in the last few weeks at the mansion that even if the bill had been in the news then, we didn't hear anything about it. Now it looks like it's about to be signed into law.

The news footage quoted a few ordinary citizens saying they thought this was a great idea since there were so many mutants everywhere. One sympathetic person was quoted, a non-mutant college professor who expressed concern that this was reminiscent of Nazi Germany.

"This is an outrage," Storm said when the report was finished. "They cannot tell us how to live our lives and force us to undergo major, invasive surgery."

Jean's face was pale and she looked appalled. "Every day I hear of or experience more awful things being done to mutants and sometimes I think nothing can shock me ever again. But this does shock me. I want to have children some day. They have no right to deprive me-or any of us-from experiencing one of life's major joys. How can people be so inhumane that almost no one is questioning this?" She clearly was upset, and Scott reached for one of her hands and held it.

"It is also completely illogical," Hank said. "All of us were born of non-mutant parents."

"Besides," I added, "how many mutants do we know who even * have* children of their own? We're so busy trying to survive that not too many of us have reproduced."

People talked among themselves briefly, naming mutants they knew who had kids. Storm had an adoptive son who was now grown. We knew Magneto had had a daughter who was now deceased. And, of course, Mystique had given birth. That was about it though. So what was the point of sterilizing a population who's birth rate was almost zero? We all knew what the point was-to humiliate and hurt us.

Hank added that the bill also prohibits mutants from adopting children, and that many countries already had laws baring us from adopting.

"I think that one thing is clear from watching those news reports," Cyclops said. "We can't return to earth. At least we can't anytime in the near future."

Storm nodded. "We couldn't return anyway. We killed 87 FOH soldiers in our battles with them when we took over the ship. We would never be acquitted of their deaths. We're outlaws."

The Professor looked around the table. "It is agreed, then. We're not writing off the idea of ever returning but we cannot go back in the foreseeable future." He paused and let this sink in with everyone. I think we had all been mulling over this off and on the last couple days. I'm no telepath but I think everyone was basically ok with this. We were all saddened, of course, to various degrees but we knew we had no choice at this point. At least we were all together, with people we cared about.

Cyclops then spoke, "Since we will be on board this ship for a while, I would like everyone over the next few days to become familiar with basic ship functions."

"I would be glad to teach," Colossus said. Everyone knew he'd spent nearly all his waking hours mastering this very subject. Everyone nodded and looked appreciative towards Colossus.

"So this brings us to the next major decision," the Professor said. "What to do with the 141 FOH members who are still alive and on board this ship."

Storm spoke first, "I have been meditating on this question quite a bit since our last meeting. I feel even more conviction that what the majority of the group wanted to do was best." She paused a bit and looked around the table. "There are no easy answers….no matter what we decide to do, it will be difficult. At out last meeting, I said I wanted vengeance, but that is no longer my reason for wanting to execute the soldiers. I think that executing them would be fair and just because they have taken lives and committed atrocious crimes. And if they live, they will only continue what they did to us and harm more people."

The Professor looked around the table. "Has anyone who was at the last meeting changed their mind?"

No one spoke or nodded.

"Scott and Jean, I would like to know what each of you think," Storm asked.

Jean spoke first, quietly. "I don't feel safe while they are on this ship. If there is a way to get them off of this ship without killing them-and where they couldn't return and harm us-I would support it."

Beast spoke up, "I have an idea. What if we were to return to the planet we just left and drop off the soldiers there? We know FOH is sending another ship to investigate. They'll be able to pick up their life signs from the planet and rescue them."

The group was quiet for a moment until Jean said, "I don't feel comfortable with that. They could someday find us, even if our ship is cloaked, and come and imprison us just as they did before." Her voice radiated fear.

The Professor asked, "Cyclops, what do you think?"

"I agree with what Storm said. Something Bobby said at the last meeting also struck me. He said the FOH have kidnapped, raped and murdered. Those are all crimes punishable by death. We know that justice won't be served if these men are returned to earth. I think we are more than justified in executing them."

Wolverine spoke up. "Why are we sitting around debating this? Those bastards deserve to die. They deserve a painful death too."

"I agree," Rogue said. "We need to stop all this yabbering and give them what they got comin' to them."

"Taking human life is a profound question," the Professor said. "We need to give this serious consideration if we are to do so. Otherwise, we are no better than they."

"We also need to think of practical matters," Hank said. "If we decide to kill these people, how are we going to do so?"

"I will be more than happy to handle that," Rogue said. Her voice had such anger and….coldness in it that I was somewhat taken aback. I think the others were too.

There was silence for a minute before Hank spoke again, "What about taking the FOH survivors to an uninhabited planet and leaving them there? We will leave them without the means to get off the planet so therefore they can't harm anyone."

The group considered this. Cyclops said, "I'm not sure that justice would be served that way. They would all still be alive. Unless we set up some sort of prison cell on the planet, they would be roaming free."

"But there would be no life forms on the planet for them to harm," Hank argued. He then re-considered his own argument and did some thinking out loud, "But if the planet contains no life, how will their need for food and water be taken care of? They will soon perish and we can't give up our food rations on this ship. Maybe this isn't the best idea."

Jean added, "We could take your idea and leave them on a planet that does have life, but only non-humanoid life. But I don't like that idea either because such a planet could eventually, even if it's over millions of years, evolve as we did. And leaving those men there would disrupt their evolution."

"Execution is the only way," Wolverine said. "They deserve it, it's fair and just. We've all had time since our last meeting to think it over."

"I agree," Gambit said. "They deserve the death penalty. We let `em go, they just gonna go back to earth and torture other mutants like they do to us!"

"How many other mutants do we want to allow to end up like Jubilee?" Wolverine asked. I heard his words and looked down at my friend. Her eyes were closed now.

The discussion continued on for only a short while more. At one point, Hank spoke up and said, "I still have grave reservations about killing them. However, I see that the rest of you-with the exception of the Professor-are confident in your view that they must be executed." He paused. "Therefore, I am willing to change my vote. To preserve our unity, I will support your decision."

All eyes turned to the Professor. "I see I have no choice. I only urge you to think it over once more before you actually do this." He went on to say that he would not take part in the actual carrying out of the executions. He said he would trust Storm and Cyclops to oversee this.

The rest of our dinner was eaten in mostly silence. After dinner, Cyclops, Storm, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue and Gambit went off to discuss how to get rid of the FOH members. I didn't want to be part of that discussion but I told them if they needed my help, I would do whatever they needed. Jean said basically the same thing.

That evening, Hank worked in the infirmary, doing more research on the collars. I chose to stay with Jubilee, who's condition hadn't changed. She was laying there with her eyes open, looking at me. I continued my encouraging chatter towards her but she did not respond with anything more than eye contact.

"Your friendship with Jubilee is helping her recover," Hank said.

I turned my head and looked at Hank, his huge form bent over a microscope. "I think it has more to do with the fact that there's always a presence with her. After all, I haven't been the only one talking to her."

"True, but I am sure the friendship bond you two established is helping."

"Um…Hank, speaking of friendship and all. Um, are we going to be ok with, you know the fact that we don't agree on what was discussed at dinner?"

"You're asking whether our friendship can withstand the disagreement?"

I nodded.

"I definitely think it can. We're both intelligent, good people. We each reviewed a set of facts and reached a different conclusion. It happens. I am alright with it. Are you?"

"Yes. I just wanted to make sure you were." I love Hank. He is so cool. I didn't really doubt him that much but I thought the question needed to be asked.

Later that evening, Gambit returned to sick bay. Hank was still working away at the lab, and I still sat next to Jubilee. I was growing tired. Gambit greeted us both and then made his way over to me.

"Gambit wants to talk to you," he said to me. His body language gestured that he wanted privacy. I exchanged a quick look with Hank before leaving the room.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Gambit's losing his mind. The woman he loves hates him now. I need help with Rogue."

"What happened?" I asked.

Gambit went on to relay the events of the last few hours that I had missed. Rogue and Wolverine had argued for a violent end for the remaining FOH soldiers. Cyclops, Storm and Colossus, however, had argued that although the FOH soldiers on this ship deserved to die, if we tortured them we would be stooping to their level. "Gambit not sure how he feels," Gambit told me. "But he want to support Rogue so he say he agree with her and Wolverine."

Gambit went on to say that their discussion had been pretty unproductive. Storm and Cyclops were leaders, so their standpoint under normal circumstances would prevail, but Rogue, Gambit and Wolverine argued their viewpoint so passionately. "So we decide to wait another day before we say how these bastards gonna die," Gambit said. "That piss off everyone because Cyke wants the bastards off the ship now so Jean can feel safe. And Rogue and Wolverine eager to start punishing the bastards now. We do a lot of yelling and screaming. Gambit never seen anything like this before at our meetings."

I listened intently. "I think everyone's still hurting. Maybe we-"

Gambit cut me off. "Gambit hurting. And Rogue, she is not gonna let me comfort her. And she," Gambit paused. It sounded to me like he was fighting off tears. "During the meeting when we get to arguing about whether to torture the bastards or not…..Rogue decide to talk about some of the things that were done to her. Gambit feel sick."

"What did she say?" Maybe it was wrong of me to ask, but I had to.

Gambit went on to relay some of what Rogue had said. Rogue had, in tears, told the group about being gang raped, being forced to perform oral sex, soldiers forcing various things inside of her, being raped at least 100 times in one day, soldiers removing her teeth and doing other things to torture her when she refused to cooperate. "Gambit not surprised by any of dis, but dis hurt to hear her talk about it. Gambit feel so sick and angry. And she did it all to keep dem from hurting me. It all my fault!"

"How is it your fault?" I asked. I sounded like my good old Dr. Winters, who's counseling the team, I think, could use now.

"You know what I mean. You remember when the head sonofabitch come in and brag that he was forcing Rogue by threatening to hurt me. She say this is true too. So after the meeting I follow her down the hall. I tell her that I wish she had just let dem torture me and how I wish it had all been me instead of her. She jus tell me to fuck off again and leave her alone. Nothing Gambit do works! She don't respond to my note. She don't want Gambit in her life no more."

Gambit paused and took a deep breath. I looked at his face. It was very evident that he really was anguished. Without thinking, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. I didn't even stop to think and realize that I'd broken a cardinal rule: you never touch a straight guy. But I saw it more like a friend was upset and I wanted to comfort him. Whatever the case, he didn't step back or seem to mind. I spoke, "Gambit, remember what we talked about the other day? Rogue is really hurting. You have to be willing to accept that she might not want to be around you for a while."

"I know dat an I accept it. What bother Gambit is that * she* hurting. How do I make her feel all better?"

"Unless you have power over other people's minds, you can't do anything. All you can do is offer to be there and listen to her if she wants. But she's already made it clear that she wants her space now."

"But Bobby, you don't understand. Rogue say she need space. Rogue like to pretend that she invincible, nothing bother her. Gambit's been her lover now for four years. I know her personality. When she most need someone, she push dem away. Dat's the way her mind work."

I shrugged and spread my hands. "But, Gambit, what can you do? You can't force your way in her room and demand that she cry on your shoulder and allow you to comfort her." I paused. He and I exchanged a look and I think he digested what I said. "What about….can you run interference with someone Rogue is close to? I mean, you said what bothers you most is that she's hurting and you don't want to see her in pain. Then maybe you need to find someone that she is going to feel comfortable opening up to and hope that they can help her since she does not want your help now."

Gambit nodded. "Maybe Storm. They always close. She close to Wolverine, too but I don't see her goin to him `cept to play basketball with him."

This seemed to make him feel better and he seemed to brighten. We went back into sick bay and he checked on Jubilee. Before he left the room, he thanked me and gave me a look. I would say the look conveyed friendship and….respect, maybe. Despite everything that was happened, I felt pretty ok. If I'm going to be stranded in space, at least it's good to be stranded with people I like and have friendships with.

* * *

Cyclops walked down the hall, returning to the room he shared with Jean. The meeting that evening had been a long and fierce one. The question of how to dispose of the FOH members would not be easily resolved. Aside from that, Cyclops was very concerned about Rogue. She had had such an insane and wounded look when describing what the soldiers did to her. Beyond that, Cyclops was concerned about all the women on the team and, as well, the psyche of the entire group. But he had no idea how to go about repairing that, and he was too tired that evening to deal with it any more.

He reached the room and slowly the door slid aside. The team member who was his first concern lay sleeping on the bed, though she had left a light on for him. All the crew quarters looked the same-one bed barely large enough for two, a nightstand, a comfortable chair and then closet space which led to a small bathroom. For a ship who's crew did so much destruction and harm, the crew quarters were ironically cozy.

Cyclops undressed as quietly as he could, shut off the light, and slid under the covers beside Jean. Although she was asleep, Jean's mind picked up on his presence and she snuggled closer to Scott, embracing him.

He hoped she wouldn't pick up on his worry. Over the years, on occasion she would wake from her sleep when she sensed he was upset over something, and Scott desperately hoped she wouldn't do that tonight. He wanted her to rest and not worry about him-not after what she had lived through. Scott placed his arms around his wife, feeling intense gratitude that he was able to do this once again. After the ordeal when FOH held them captive, he had despaired of ever seeing or touching Jean again. Scott said a few silent prayers of thanks.

Sleep did not come easily for him that night. Rogue's words kept rattling around in his brain no matter how much he tried to shut them out. The horrors Rogue had described. Jean must have endured pretty much everything Rogue had, short of having any of her teeth torn out. His mind continued to race. Appalling images of Jean being attacked and humiliated kept forcing their way into his mind no matter how hard he tried to push them out. The images of Jean crying and in pain tore through Scott's heart. Maybe Rogue, Wolverine and Gambit were right and the FOH members deserved to be punished before their executions. How could those bastards do what they did? Didn't they have wives or girlfriends of their own? He tried to replace thoughts of Jean in pain with thoughts of Jean being happy and content, but the painful thoughts predominated. Scott tossed and turned several times.

"Are you alright?" Jean asked softly.

"Honey, I'm sorry I woke you up," Scott whispered. "Go back to sleep."

"Do you want me to massage your back?"

"No, my love. Please just go back to sleep. I'm fine," he said, though his voice almost cracked on that last sentence.

Jean took a few moments to absorb his thoughts. "I know you're hurting for me. It *was* a terrible ordeal," she said softly. "But I'm going to live through it. We'll live through it."

"I should be the one comforting you," Scott said. "You shouldn't have to comfort me."

"We can comfort each other. I was thinking good thoughts when I went to bed," Jean said. "Like how good it feels to be back with you and be able to hold you once again. Let's share those thoughts." She gently sent waves of that feeling through his mind and he calmed down. The warm emotions replaced the upsetting ones that had been floating around until the couple fell asleep together.

Meanwhile, Rogue's night was not as restful. Try as she would, she couldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes before gruesome images invaded her mind. Storm had advised her earlier on in the day to meditate but Rogue did not have that tranquil, controlled personality and especially not now. Rogue adjusted her position on the bed and tried once more to get to sleep. The phrase `Think pleasant thoughts,' popped into her head. Rogue's mom had said that to her as a little girl when she hadn't been able to sleep. Of course that was years before her parents had thrown her out for being a mutant.

`Okay, Rogue, try harder,' she told herself. Pleasant thoughts? For her that usually meant Gambit-his eyes, his smile, his hair, his eagerness when he held her, the way his voice sounded when he told her he loved her, his laugh when they goofed off together. The wicked look in his eyes when they went off to do something out of the ordinary. Holding his hand as they went for long walks around the mansion property. Her brain liked this train of thought so it continued. Her thoughts drifted towards the feelings she had for him, how her stomach jumped when they kissed through satin cloth, how the sight of him undressed aroused her, how he would bring her to climax by-

Ugh. Those thoughts had to stop. Rogue didn't want to ever let any man touch her, at least not in a sexual way, at least not for a very long time. She was done with that. Gambit would just have to go find someone else, which maybe was for the better.

Rogue made numerous more attempts to sleep but she failed. The soldiers were back in her head, the things they did to her were back at the surface of her mind. Damn Gambit. Thinking of him had led to this. Damn him.

Rogue got off the bed and paced, getting angrier and angrier.

Gambit didn't jump when his communicator went off as he had not been asleep. "Go ahead," he spoke into the device.

"Gambit, it's Rogue," the raspy voice on the other end breathed.

Rogue! Maybe….maybe she wanted to talk to him. "Rogue. Chere. How can I help you?"

"Help me give the bastards what they got comin to them. Tonight."

Gambit's eyes widened. She was suggesting they disobey Cyclops and Storm and go inflict a fraction of the pain the soldiers had inflicted on them. It was a chance to get back in Rogue's good graces. Maybe doing this would help her heal. Maybe it was just what she needed.

"I'll help," he said.

"Good. Let's get Wolverine in on this too."

Later, Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit headed for the soldiers' prison cell. Wolverine had been on guard duty in the infirmary when Rogue contacted him. As he marched towards the soldiers that night, he felt a small rush from the prospect of disobeying Cyclops. But mostly he had the desire for revenge. Wolverine had visited the prison cell once the day before. Every goddamn soldier had Jean's scent on him. There wasn't a one out of the 141 who hadn't raped her at least once. Not a one. They all had Rogue's scent too, and most had Storm and Jubilee's. Just the thought sickened him and made him eager for revenge. A bunch of fucking monsters. And they call * mutants* sick and perverted? They deserved to suffer. Wolverine looked forward to using his claws that night.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The Professor was scheduled to replace Wolverine on guard duty at some ungodly hour of the morning. As soon as he woke from his sleep, he knew something was wrong. Upon reaching sick bay, the first thing he noticed was that there was no sign of Wolverine; the room was empty except for Jubilee. He made his way over to the girl and mentally scanned her. She was fine-well, as fine as she had been in the last few days. Her eyes were closed; her brain was doing its form of sleeping now.

Next the Professor checked the ship's monitors. All ship functions were normal; the ship continued to head away from the planet at a slow, steady speed. No other vessel was following them.

Before his eyes turned to the monitor of the FOH members' cell, Xavier knew what he would see. The cell was completely empty. He used his mind to scan the ship. There were now only 11 living beings on board: all X-men.

So the team had completed the executions last night. The Professor had gone to bed early when the exact fate of the soldiers was unknown. Despite the fact that he disagreed with executing the soldiers, he did feel a sense of relief that they were no longer on board the ship.

As the day wore on, the fate of the FOH soldiers became very clear. After not too long, Jean and Cyclops entered sick bay for their breakfast when Jean sensed what the Professor had.

"Oh thank goodness," Jean said quietly as she exchanged a look with the Professor.

"What is it?" Cyclops asked, looking between Jean and Xavier.

"I sense that the FOH members are no longer on this ship," Jean said.

The Professor immediately was alarmed when he saw and felt Cyclops' confusion. "What do you mean? When I went to bed last night, we hadn't….executed any of them," Cyclops said.

"You didn't?" Jean asked. "But they are not on board this ship anymore. I'm certain of it."

"I am certain too," the Professor said.

"Something is wrong then," Cyclops said. He filled in Jean and the Professor on the argument the group had had last night when trying to decide how to execute the soldiers. "A lot of harsh words were exchanged," he admitted. "But when we left the conference room, all six of us had agreed that we would hold off on it until we could decide what method to use."

Eventually, other X-men filtered in for breakfast. First Beast, then Colossus, then Storm, and then Bobby. Colossus and Storm were both shocked that the soldiers were dead, as their memories of the decision the night before were in synch with Cyclops's. Gradually, what had happened was looking more and more clear.

"What do we do?" Jean asked.

"I will talk with Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit today," the Professor said quietly. The trio still had not shown up for breakfast, which was not at all unusual. Even back at the mansion they had been the night owls.

Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit had each slept very late that day, not rising till most of the rest of the X-men were ready for lunch. When confronted separately by the Professor, each admitted what they had done. Each, however, spared the Professor the details though Xavier's mind had picked up on some of the emotions they had felt, flashed of vindication and exhilaration.

After speaking with Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit, the Professor also spoke with the other X-men in small groups to fill them in on what happened. He found Beast and Iceman on the bridge together, teaching themselves more about the ship's functions.

The Professor finished telling us what Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit had owned up to. "So that is what happened. It disturbs me greatly to see X-men killing….and not showing a great deal of remorse for it either. And yet…." his voice trailed off.

"And yet," Hank said, "you can understand why they did it."

"I can, but I wonder if I am being too soft on them. They disobeyed a direct order. The group that met last evening clearly said they would wait more before deciding what to do with the soldiers. Part of me wants to discipline them for this, and yet part of me empathizes with them."

"You know, Professor," I began, "I guess I kinda don't think you're being too soft on them. Like, when we were all held captive, it was horrible. We were pushed beyond the limit and we gotta take that into consideration. This was the worst thing the X-men have ever been through. So I think you could say they were really acting under duress."

"I think Bobby has a point," Hank said. "We know that Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit aren't murderers. It is not as though they will take off from here and start roaming the galaxy killing innocent people. I think that all of them were and are under extreme emotional stress."

"When I think of what was done to the women," I said, "and also what we experienced-though it was nowhere near as bad- …..what the three of them did seems almost logical."

The Professor nodded. "I think so too. But still it worries me that I am being too accepting of this act. Yet punishing them for this seems wrong to me as well." He paused and took a breath. "It may be that there are no easy answers. Bobby, I think this harkens back to something you said to me after one of the first meetings we had as X-men on board this ship. You said to me that we need to deal with what happened on board this ship, the torture we suffered as a team. I see now more and more that you were right."

"I am especially concerned about Rogue's emotional state," Hank said.

"And Jubilee," I piped up. "Her eyes still focus on people when they spend time with her, but she won't say anything or even move otherwise. And Professor, I know you told me after that meeting to come up with some ideas on how to address this, but I keep coming up blank. I just don't have any experience with this."

The Professor nodded. "I am not sure what to do either. Many, many years ago, I worked with torture victims. I used my powers to help them recover." He paused. "If I wanted to, I could flood the group with positive feelings and elevate their mood that way. But over the years, I have learned that is wrong to do. It can make a person feel better but it doesn't deal with the underlying problem. And that is the root. We need to deal with what happened on this ship."

"You know what part of the problem is," I began. I decided to just go out on a limb and say what was on my mind. "This is such a touchy subject to deal with. I mean we're talking about half our team members getting gang raped. It's horrifying. I think none of us know how to, but as a group we * have* to deal with it. Otherwise I think people's psyches might keep getting worse."

"The three of us don't know what to do," Hank summarized, "but I bet Storm could help us with this. She might have some ideas on how we can heal as a team. I think she would be open to talking about it with us."

"That is a great idea, Beast," the Professor said. "I will talk to her."

He moved his wheelchair and headed towards the door, but before he left the bridge, he turned around and addressed me. "Bobby," he began, "speaking of healing as a team….there is something else that has not been addressed. During our last day as captives, the soldiers singled you out and verbally attacked you in front of the team because they had a problem with your sexuality. Do we need to talk about this as a team as well?"

I'm sure the Professor felt my shock that he brought this up, as well as my nervousness. "Um….well, gosh I'm not sure how to even….um, address this. I mean, none of the X-men have said anything bad to me about my being gay," (I can't believe I said that so calmly in front of the Professor!), "or anything like that."

"I didn't mean to put you on the spot. Why don't you think about it?"

"Sure," I said. The Professor left the bridge.

I turned to Hank. "That so totally took me by surprise," I said. "God, it's hard talking with someone who knows what you're feeling."

Hank smiled. "Bobby, don't be intimidated by the Professor. You know he sincerely cares about you and that's why he brought that up in the first place. I don't think he actively probes people's minds to sense their emotional states unless he has a good reason to do so. So," Hank paused, "what did you think of what he said?"

I told Hank that I wasn't totally comfortable with the idea of discussing it with the group. I just feel that compared to what he women went through, it was no big deal. I did appreciate that the Professor even brought it up with me at all.

* * *

The Professor found Storm in sick bay, serving on guard duty. She sat next to Jubilee, stroking the girl's arm and talking to her.

"Jubilee seems to be doing better," Storm said when she saw Xavier enter the room. "I've seen her eyes follow me. How is she, mentally?"

"I sense she is about the same as yesterday," the Professor said. "I am going to discuss her condition with Jean today. The more I think about it, I am becoming more and more certain that we should intervene soon. It won't do her any harm and I do not think that waiting any longer is helping."

"She's been through a lot," Storm said, turning her gaze back to Jubilee's face. "I'm sure any help you give her would be wonderful." She held Jubilee's hand and gave it a little squeeze.

The Professor took a breath. "Storm, speaking of what Jubilee has been through," he paused, "I have a concern that I would like to share with you as one of the team leaders."

"What is it, Professor?" Storm asked quietly. She had a feeling as to what was coming.

"I think that the team needs to deal with all we have been through in the last several days. Think of all the traumatic events that have occurred-the mansion and Institute were destroyed, we were overwhelmed and captured, now we are in exile from our planet. And especially we need to deal with the assaults that you and the other women experienced on this ship."

Storm continued to look at Jubilee not wanting to meet the Professor's eyes. It wasn't logical but she felt embarrassment. "Indeed we have been through a lot. It is hard for me to believe that the mansion is destroyed and it could be years before we return to earth….if we can return at all."

"There is a lot that will be hard to accept. But Storm, I think that if we as a team do not deal with it, we will see more behavior such like that displayed by Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit. They disobeyed orders and acted out their rage. I think they have no idea how to deal with what occurred while we were held captive. I think what is most damaging to the X-men's psyches are the sexual assaults that you and the other women endured."

Storm turned to the Professor and finally looked at him. "I think you are right, Professor." She took a deep breath. "Part of me wants to forget this nightmare ever happened. I wish I could just put it behind me, but I know it doesn't work that way. We do need to deal with it."

"Storm, do you have any ideas on how to do that?"

"I was hoping you would, Professor," she said. "I don't know how to broach this topic with the group."

"Could you try to think of a few ways? Give it some time and turn over some ideas in your head, and I will do the same."

"That sounds reasonable. Perhaps I can try to research it on that computer." She paused and turned back to Jubilee. "I do have one idea off the top of my head, though."

"What is it?" the Professor asked, his spirits raised at her words.

"It might be helpful if just Rogue, Jean, Jubilee and I got together at first to talk about it. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes to me."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Of course we need Jubilee to recover her mind. The sooner, the better I say."

"I agree, Storm."

"Bobby, can you come to sick bay, please?" Jean Grey's voice sounded over my communicator.

"I'll be there right away," I gratefully replied. I'd been working in the gym with Colossus, Rogue, and Wolverine ….we X-men converted part of it to a small, less sophisticated version of the Danger room. Since I'd been getting my butt kicked by the more experienced X-men, I was more than happy to take my leave of my teammates.

Thoughts ran through my head as I made my way down the hall, up the elevator and down another long hallway. I knew that Jean and the Professor had said they were going to try to reach Jubilee today. Surely they succeeded and everything was well. But Jean's voice had sounded a bit…..worried.

To take my mind off worrying about Jubilee, my mind replayed the last couple hours I'd spent training with Colossus, Rogue and Wolverine. I hadn't been *bad.* And going into it they acknowledged that they had had years more experience with this than I. Wolverine paid me a compliment on a move I'd made during the training. When we had stopped to take a rest break, I couldn't get my water bottle open. Wolverine saw me struggling, took it from my hands, opened it for me, and handed it back to me. I wonder if he can smell that I'm attracted to him. I don't know how that works and how much he can detect about things from scents. I've gone for too long without a lover and it sure doesn't look likely that there's going to be anyone available to me anytime soon.

When the door to sick bay slid open, I was delighted to see Jubilee sitting up. She blinked her eyes and looked in my direction. The Professor and Jean were standing near her.

"Here he is," Jean said softly to Jubilee. Jean's voice was a little funny….almost as if she were talking to a child.

I approached the bed. "Jubilee asked for you," the Professor said to me, smiling.

"Hi sweetie," I said. I reached for one of her hands and held it. Jubilee turned her head and held my gaze. Her face wasn't the blank stare it had been for days but….she didn't have much of an expression on it either. On impulse, I reached for her hand, brought it to my lips and kissed it.

"Hi Bobby," Jubilee said, in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

The Professor and Jean later filled me in on what happened. They had gone into Jubilee's mind and gave her a little nudge to get her consciousness out of the metaphorical safebox it had been stored in. She was alert now though mentally very tired.

I remained with her until dinner time. The Professor spoke into my mind (* that* was cool!) and gently reminded me to not discuss anything grave or serious with her, and just keep the conversation light. I was good at that. Jubilee listened to me talk and gave one- or two-word answers to things I asked. She seemed to like the hand holding physical contact, so I maintained it. She didn't smile at all though.

Wolverine entered sick bay not long after I did. "I heard the kid's better," he said to Jean and I. He slowly approached the bed.

"Hi Jubilee," he said quietly once he got near her, "it's good to see you sitting up. How are you, kid?" (Poor Jubilee, I mused. She'll probably be called "kid" by the X-men until she's 45.)

Jubilee turned her head away from Wolverine and looked at Jean. She didn't respond to Wolverine.

Jean looked a bit confused for a second but then turned to Wolverine. "Logan, no offense but could you leave us now?" she asked softly. She didn't say anything else but I wonder if she spoke into his mind because it seems that something was exchanged between the two of them.

Wolverine nodded and turned away, looking hurt. He left sick bay.

Throughout the rest of the day, everyone visited Jubilee. She responded favorably to Storm, Rogue, Hank, Jean, the Professor and I. When Cyclops, Colossus, or Gambit attempted to approach her, she turned away and refused to respond-as she had with Wolverine. Slowly I figured it out. She didn't want to react to or deal with anyone who had sex with women. It made sense to me.

Since I sat with her all day and through dinner, I got to observe Jubilee with those that she did allow near her. Storm and Jean were excellent-both acted motherly. Hank was exquisitely gentle. Jubilee responded well to him and I mused that Hank is an awesome doctor. Rogue looked a bit more like her old self-the look in her eyes was a little bit more like the Rogue I knew. She was upbeat and even perky with Jubilee.

This sounds really corny but I really liked that we X-men had dinner together every night. My biological family never did that. I think each and every last one of us appreciated that the 11 of us were already each other's family. I sat next to Jubilee, who wanted to remain sitting on the bed. She fed herself during dinner though she chewed slowly and mechanically, and told me she was finished after eating less than half of her portions. Everyone spoke quietly during dinner and no one broached any delicate topics (such as the killing of the FOH members last night.)

After dinner, the group filtered away for their evening activities. After ensuring that I was more than willing to stay with Jubilee, Jean left sick bay to work with Cyclops on learning the ship functions. Hank returned to his research on the collars. Storm retired to her room, probably to meditate. Rogue, Colossus, Gambit, and Wolverine headed for their favorite place-the gym.

"Bobby, do you want me to check in on you two?" the Professor asked.

"I think we'll be fine," I said.

The Professor spoke into my mind again. This was such a cool sensation. It starts off being a tad unsettling, as if someone poked you and you weren't expecting it. But then….it's awesome, almost like you're making a unique connection with someone.

/Bobby, you've been with Jubilee since early afternoon. Are you feeling that you need a break?/

All I had to do was * think* my reply. This was so neat. /Really, I'm not tired at all./

/Okay. But I do not want Jubilee to be left alone at night. Now that she is mentally awake and the FOH guards are gone, we don't need to have anyone on guard duty anymore./ I remembered during dinner it had been discussed that alerts were set up so that if another ship approached or some problem occurred with life support, alarms would be set off to wake us.

/I'll offer to stay with her at night, if she wants. And if she wants someone else, we'll find them and get whoever she does want./

/Wonderful. Thank you, Bobby for everything you're doing./

I really didn't mind staying with her, not in the least. Seeing her make this progress, even if it had been induced by the Professor and Jean, was comforting. Jubilee and I sat together and we talked about nothing for a while longer. She said only a monosyllable at a time, but it was something. At least she maintained eye contact and looked completely alert.

"Do you want to take a walk around the ship?" I asked. "Hank said he thinks it might be good if you get up and move a little."

At first she shook her head no. I did bring it up once more later, and she quietly said, "Okay."

Jubilee and I walked together arm in arm. She walked very slowly and leaned on me quite a bit, but at least she was up and around. I knew which areas of the ship to avoid and which were unlikely to bring back bad memories. We visited Scott and Jean on the bridge and I showed her the ship's massive supply room. We peeked in on the gym.

When it was bedtime, I asked her if she wanted her own room or if she wanted to stay in sickbay or what. She didn't answer, which wasn't unusual; she didn't respond to everything you said to her.

"Do you want to see my room?" I asked. "You can have one that looks just like it."

"Okay," she said, and we headed for our quarters. As we walked down the hall, I worried that the crew quarters could possibly bring up bad memories for her. Where did the assaults against the women take place? It had never been discussed with me. I assumed it took place in the big room we found Rogue, Storm and Jean in but who knew? Did crew members take them back to their quarters at times too? I didn't know and my heart sped up as we reached my room. What if I was doing the wrong thing?

The door slid aside. I looked at Jubilee and didn't see any reaction on her face. Hopefully it was a good sign. She walked around the small room, looked at the chair, nightstand, closet, and bathroom. She then touched the bed. "Soft," she said.

"Yes!" I said. "Better than that bed in sick bay, I bet."

Jubilee made herself right at home and lay down on the bed. "So…does that mean you're sleeping here?" I asked.

She didn't reply but remained laying down. I told Jubilee what I planned, and then went off to get a cot from the supply room. Via the communicator I told the Professor and Hank where Jubilee apparently was spending the night. She was asleep before I was done talking to Hank. The cot was a bit uncomfortable but I had slept on worse.

* * *

"Well, I've learned more tonight that I ever wanted to about warp drive and dilithium crystals," Jean said to her husband. They had been working on the bridge for the last few hours, trying to master as much as they could about basic ship functions. They learned that the starship was powered by dilithium crystals.

"We've done enough for one day," Scott agreed. "I don't think I can absorb anymore yet."

"It's almost bedtime anyway," Jean said.

The couple held hands as they returned to their room. As she had done every night since the X-men had gained control of the ship, Jean entered the bathroom and started running bath water. Jean showered every morning and took a bath every evening now. Scott wasn't sure what to think about this. He thought she was recovering remarkably well considering everything and if she liked to take baths now, that wasn't exactly the worst thing in the world. He had found several bottles of lotion in the ship's supply room, which came in handy as Jean's skin was getting dry.

Meanwhile, Scott undressed and sat on the bed. He found himself missing his book collection as reading before bed had a cherished evening ritual for him. The FOH did have a library on their ship but Scott knew not to get anywhere near it. He reminded himself to get on the computer tomorrow and see if there was anything he could download and print.

Jean emerged from her bath, her skin pink and warm. Even dressed in gray sweatpants that were several sizes too large and a baggy white T-shirt she still looked stunningly beautiful.

/Why thank you, Slim/

/You'd be gorgeous in a potato sack, Jeanie/

She sat on the bed next to him. "We gotta find some decent books," Jean said. She shared his evening reading habit.

"Maybe we can stop at Barnes and Noble sometime," Scott quipped.

Jean smiled. There was a silence for a moment before she asked, "You know, we haven't talked about what we found out happened last night…..with the FOH guards. How do you feel about it?"

Scott was quiet for a few seconds. "I'm angry at Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit for disobeying orders. That was wrong of them." He paused, "But at the same time I am very glad that those FOH are off this ship."

"Me too. I am very relieved. It almost scares me how good I feel that they are gone."

"I'm glad you feel relieved, Jean."

"I don't feel at all any sorrow that their lives are over. Sometimes I wonder if I should."

"I don't feel any sorrow, either," Scott said. "It is only fair that their lives end. It doesn't mean that we're becoming cold by not mourning them." Scott felt something else too. A twinge of gladness that the blood wasn't on his hands. He agreed with their execution but was glad that he had not been the one to carry it out.

/I understand. I feel the same way too./ "And," Jean said, "I understand the rage that led Rogue and the others to do what they did."

"Do you?" Scott asked, looking intently into her beautiful eyes. "I am a little surprised that you aren't showing…anger over what happened."

Jean shrugged. "I'm not there mentally, yet. I might get to that stage sometime. But right now I am just feeling glad that I am alive and you're alive and we're with our….extended family."

"I feel that too. Jean, you continue to surprise me every day. You're so calm and serene. You're amazing. You have the strongest mind of anyone I know. You even seem…happy."

"I am happy. I have you," she said simply. She extended her arms. "Hold me, Scott."

They settled into a comfortable position, laying down together. The warmth of feeling the other's body against their own felt delicious to both of them. Jean's heart flooded with feelings of love, which she transmitted to Scott. She kissed the stubble of his cheek. Time passed. They continued to kiss and cuddle, just reveling in the sensations. They murmured words of love to each other. Occasionally they shifted positions but mostly they just enjoyed the full body contact. Jean almost felt as if she were floating on a cloud, she was so content. Her mind at peace, she savored the warmth and occasionally reached for and kissed Scott. Their lips would caress each other's for many long moments, and then they would go back to just breathing side by side and touching.

Jean's feelings of contentment were interrupted when she detected a negative feeling from her soulmate. Shame. He felt ashamed about something. She delicately probed his mind a bit more. Oh that. He was ashamed because he had an erection.

/Don't ever feel ashamed of that./ she said to his mind.

/I know I shouldn't be ashamed. But what is my body doing? I didn't want this to happen./

/You can't control that. Even someone as controlled as you can't help that. It's a natural reaction./

His mind was silent for a moment but Jean caught the flavor of where his thoughts were going. /Jeanie, do you want me to go down on you? We wouldn't have to do anything else tonight unless you want to, but I really want to make you feel good./ He knew that she enjoyed this.

/ I'm not ready to be sexual yet. Someday I will be, but not now./

/I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured./

/You didn't. Don't worry about it./

Jean settled into a comfortable sleeping position. The feelings of contentment returned to her. She mused that there was nothing like knowing your lover's mind. You never had to second-guess or stumble over words when you communicated like that. There was only the purity of reading raw thoughts.

* * *

The next day, we had a group meeting during lunch. Even though Jubilee was no longer staying in sick bay, I guess habits die hard. We had our table and food replicator set up in there, as well as all the monitors that kept track of ship functions. Hank's lab was in full swing; he analyzed the collars as well as some of the other weaponry the FOH used. The infirmary just made a better meeting room than anywhere else on the ship.

I had spent the morning with Jubilee. She was pretty much the same as yesterday: quiet but completely alert. Storm found Jubilee and I walking around the halls of the ship and she offered to spend some time with Jubilee. The young woman liked that idea so off they went. I met up with Hank and offered to help him with his research. He enjoyed elaborating on what he had learned.

By lunchtime, the 11 of us were assembled for our meeting. We were passing around food, eating, and talking casually before the Professor indicated that he had serious things to discuss.

"Our outlaw status is confirmed," the Professor said. "We've been watching news reports and all of our names and faces have been shown on the news as being threats to society."

"Thanks to that doctored up news footage they ran of the attack on us at the mansion," Cyclops said.

"The government issued a warning that if anyone sees us or has information on our whereabouts, they should contact the authorities right away," the Professor said.

"I worry about our families," Hank said, glumly. I knew he wasn't all that close to his, but he was one of the few who both had living family members and was in contact with them.

Colossus must've been thinking along the same lines as I was because he asked, "Does anyone here have living family members?"

Most people shook their heads. Hank said that he had parents and an uncle. I said quietly that my immediate family was all alive but I hadn't had contact with them for years.

Jean was the only one who had family that she was close to. She said she had parents, a sister, and a niece and nephew. "I can sense that they are alive and in no harm," she said. "But I can't read their minds or know the details of their daily lives. I wish I had someway to let them know that I'm alright. But I understand that it's too dangerous to try to communicate with them."

"I'm afraid I have more bad news," Hank said after a pause. "The Mutant Sterilization Act has passed both sides of Congress. It goes to the President tomorrow and he said he will sign it."

Those of us sitting at the table exchanged sad and angry looks with each other. Rogue clenched her fist and slammed it down on the table. "How dare those bastards do this! Can you imagine? Mutants being rounded up and forced to have their insides removed! Goddamn them."

"What the hell did we ever do to deserve dis," Gambit muttered. "Treating us all like we all some criminals when we the victims."

"My heart really goes out to all the mutants left on earth. With our institute gone and FOH going strong, I wonder what their future will be like," Jean said quietly.

Storm spoke, "I have fantasies of us taking this ship and offering those mutants who want it, a chance to escape." Cyclops and the Professor shot her looks and she added, "I know that we cannot do this anytime soon. But this is my fantasy for the future someday."

"My dream hasn't changed over the years," the Professor said quietly. "I want mutants and non-mutants to be able to live together on earth in peace."

He looked down at his plate. I think maybe finally the events of the last several days were sinking in for him. He is someone who always tries to think positively and have hope…but the cause of mutants on earth now had never looked more grim. Our hides were saved, but thinking about our brothers and sisters back home…

"Professor, something you said the other day really inspired me,' Jean said. "We're still alive and together. As bad as everything else around us may be, at least we have this."

"She's right," Wolverine said. "We came so close to getting killed but we survived."

"Thanks to Bobby," Rogue added and smiled at me. Wow. There was something in her voice….admiration? That couldn't be right; why would she admire me? But her tone definitely made it clear she thought I did a great thing. Most of the others nodded or seconded her praise, and I blushed.

"Hey, I only did what any of you would've done had they removed your collars too," I said. I was, though, flattered at their commendation. I sensed that they had to have known what I said was true but their praise was a way of trying to make sure I felt like I fit in.

"So," Cyclops began, getting back to business, "any thoughts on where to go from here? We're currently on a course away from earth, our ship is still cloaked. We know that there are two other FOH ships sent to investigate but neither ship is near and they can't detect us while we're cloaked. Do we continue on this course?"

"I don't see any reason to deviate at this point," the Professor said.

"I agree," Storm said. "The only thing we might want to keep in mind is that it couldn't hurt to eventually investigate other planets for food and for dilithium. We have enough to last us a long time, but we will need to search for other sources."

"Especially since it looks like it could be more than two years before we return to earth," Cyclops said. "Let's begin tracking when we near a planet and then using our sensors to detect whether there's anything on the surface we could use."

"I wonder if there's anything on this ship that we can use to grow food," I said. "Has anyone checked the supply room to see if they have any, like gardening supplies and seeds?" No one had. The Professor suggested that be my task, which I was happy to agree to.

Hank did remind us that if we continued on the course we were on, soon we would be out of range for picking up news reports from earth. We agreed that we could always turn around and get closer to earth periodically for updates. We're blessed by this ship-in addition to all of its other amenities, it is capable of travelling extremely fast.

After the meeting, Cyclops, Jean, and Colossus were heading to the engine room to learn more about how it functioned. They invited me along and I gladly went with.

* * *

Rogue left the meeting, looking forward to spending more time in the gym. She knew she hadn't been doing as Cyclops had directed at the last meeting; she had not been making the effort to learn the ship functions. Most of the other X-men devoted at least a few hours every day to this. Rogue just couldn't get into it and her mind wouldn't concentrate on it. But a few hours in the new danger room in the gym….that had a way of working wonders on her mind.

As Rogue made her way to the elevator that would take her to the gym, she heard Gambit call her name. She stopped in her tracks and turned around.

"Rogue," Gambit said again, walking up to her though maintaining a distance. He had been encouraged by the fact that she stopped and turned, though as he got closer he noted that her facial expression was not exactly inviting. "Chere, you want to work out together in the gym and have a talk?"

"I'll work out with you, but I got no particular desire to talk to you," she said flatly.

"Rogue…Gambit loves you," he said, trying to keep the anguish he felt out of his voice. "Tell me what Gambit can do to make you feel better."

"You already did it. You and Wolverine helped me with the guards."

"Gambit was glad to help with dat. But can't I do something more to help you?"

Rogue looked down for a second before looking back at Gambit's eyes. "Yeah, you can. It's best if you leave me alone."

Her tone was so cold. The past day or so she had looked more like the old Rogue he knew, but not now.

"Is dat what you really want, love? You really want nothing more to do with me?" He took a deep breath. "I know dat you love me, chere."

"You don't know shit, Gambit."

Inwardly he flinched again. "Can we talk about dis like adults? Before dis mess started, when we live back at the mansion, you tell me dat you more in love den you ever been an-"

"I was!" the roared back at him. "But that was before this! You pushed me away that night we spent in the cell together! My first time could have been with you. Instead…." her voice cut off. She tried again, "Instead-" she couldn't bring herself to describe the auction. When she, Wolverine and Gambit had been arguing with Cyclops, Storm and Colossus over how to dispose of the soldiers, she had shared many of the horrific things the guards had done to her. She hadn't been able to bring herself to mention the auction then, though she didn't know that the FOH leader had already bragged about it to the X-men during their imprisonment.

"What you mean by first time? What was all dat stuff we did together for the past 4 years? It don't count?"

"You know what the fuck I mean! It's not the same. It's just not the same thing!"

"Okay," Gambit said, not wanting to argue on this one. He dropped to one knee. "Den Gambit an idiot. Gambit made stupid decision. Rogue, I'm sorry."

Rogue was silent for a minute. What to say? What to think? Now he was apologizing for not agreeing to have sex with her that night. The more she thought about it, the more that didn't sit right with her. He had as much right to turn down sex as she had. What happened wasn't his fault.

Damnit she didn't want to think of all these things. She didn't want to deal with it or with those feelings he brought out in her. But she also didn't want to hurt him anymore. "Gambit….sugar, I need time to be alone. Would you leave me alone for a while. Please?"

Gambit got up from the knee he had dropped to. "Okay. Alright. If you change your mind, you know where I'll be."

He tuned around and walked back down the hallway. Rogue, needing to clear her mind, couldn't wait to get to the gym. She worked out for a while before entering the makeshift Danger room area. She felt better after battling the animated enemies. Her abilities were as powerful as ever-her strength, capability to fly and to defeat an enemy by touching them with her bare skin rendered her an opponent to be reckoned with. She got such a rush from using her powers and beating the synthesized enemies that the time flew by.

When Rogue finally needed a rest, she opened a bottle of water and sat on the benches at the side of the gym. Storm entered the large room.

"Hi, Rogue," she called, walking over to her.

"Hey, Storm!" Rogue said. "I just had a * great* workout."

"You do look quite exhilarated," Storm said, smiling. She sat on the bench next to her friend.

"Damn it feels good to kick some butt. Hey, Storm if you give me some time to rest, I'd love to play against you."

"I accept that challenge, Rogue."

Rogue put the water bottle to her lips and drank several swallows. The cold liquid felt refreshing to her warm body, her senses felt so alive. When her thirst was quenched, she put the bottle down and looked at Storm.

"Rogue," Storm began, her voice a bit cautious "would be interested in….participating in something with me?"

Rogue got a questioning look on her face. "What do you mean, Storm?"

"I feel that there is a great need for us to experience a…a healing ceremony, so to speak. I mean the four of us: Jean, Jubilee and us."

"A healing ceremony?"

"Yes. A sort of cleansing for us, to help us move on from what we experienced on board this ship."

Rogue sighed. "A ceremony," she repeated.

"We can call it whatever we want," Storm said. "But now that Jubilee is….getting better, I think the time is right for us to discuss this. To deal with what happened."

"I just wanna forget about it," Rogue said, crossing her arms and leaning forward.

"So do I," Storm said. "But there are some things that you cannot simply forget about and move on. You need to deal with it before you can go on."

Rogue continued to frown and didn't look at Storm. Storm continued what she was saying, "Look, you remember that fight and falling out you and Nightcrawler had a few years ago? Remember that you wanted to ignore your fight, pretend it never happened and just move on? It didn't work that way, the two of you needed to sit down and talk through it. And in the end, weren't you glad you did so? It's the same way here." She paused. "Rogue, the four of us lived through a nightmare. It was horrible, and part of me doesn't want to talk about it or think about it any more than you do. But deep down you know as well as I do that it is not possible to pretend it never happened."

Rogue sighed. "I think I got my healing when I made them suffer," she said, as she smashed a fist against her other hand. "But you might be right, Storm. You might be right. But….but what do you have in mind here? I hate ceremonies, always have ever since my Daddy used to drag me to see the preacher when I was a kid."

Storm smiled, "What I have in mind won't be anything like that. It can take whatever shape we want. I have a few ideas. Now bear in mind that my religious upbringing was quite different than yours, so my idea of a ceremony is much different. But I think you will like it, since you clearly aren't fond of the tradition you were raised in."

"Did you talk to Jean about this?"

"Yes, and she likes the idea. She agrees that our minds could benefit from some healing."

"What about Jubilee?" Rogue asked.

"Jean and I spoke about it with her today. Jubilee's mind is still….slow. But after we finished explaining it to her, she nodded. Jean said she sensed that Jubilee does understand it and that this would be beneficial to her, even though she might not participate much."

Rogue pursed her lips and nodded. "I never been one for much sharing or doing touchy-feely type things. I'm not sure that I'm gonna be doing much participating either, Storm."

"That's ok. Like I said, we can make it whatever we want. If you want to roll your eyes and say you think this is stupid, you can do that too."

Rogue was quiet for a moment. "It would just be the four of us, right?"

"Definitely. I think someday there will be a point where the other X-men will need to heal too and help us heal, but certainly not right now."

Rogue considered Storm's idea. She also thought back to her last interaction with Gambit. Something he said kept replaying itself in her mind. Before they had been captured by the FOH, Rogue had told him that she was more in love than she had ever been. She had been telling the truth and the sensation had been….wonderful. Scary, but wonderful. Now those very thoughts were nothing but scary and Rogue wanted to be able to think of Gambit again without having to squelch unpleasant thoughts. Who knows? Maybe whatever Storm had in mind would help. "Alright," she said. "I'll give this a try. Sometimes the only way to get around a big mess is to walk right through it."

"Excellent. We were thinking of having it relatively soon, maybe even tonight after dinner. What do you think?"

Rogue shrugged. "Fine by me. And keep in mind that I might take you up on your offer to roll my eyes and say I think it's stupid, if I want to."

Storm smiled. "Suits me." She stood up. "Just let me know when you're rested, because I'm ready to work out."

Rogue stood up. Storm was encouraged to see the familiar glint in Rogue's eyes. "I'm ready now, sugar!"

* * *

Cyclops, Jean, and Wolverine sat on the ship's bridge. Despite the largeness of the ship, the bridge was placed at the front of the vessel with little fanfare. It was a small room, with four chairs and several control panels. The computer finished giving the trio a pre-programmed walk-through of the basic ship functions. After listening to it, the X-men were testing some of what they had learned about navigation and engineering controls.

"I never would have imagined that a starship could be so user-friendly," Jean said, after successfully learning how to change the ship's flight course.

"I'm sure the FOH needed to dumb it down a lot to be able to understand it," Wolverine said.

The three smiled at Wolverine's comment. Cyclops then cued up a basic walk-through of the ship's defense systems. They learned that the space craft was a very powerful one, with both phasers and photon torpedos available. The ship also had three shuttle crafts. The computer offered numerous simulated programs to use, to test someone's ability to use the defense systems. Each took a turn at the helm during a simulated battle, with the other two testing their command of the ship's weaponry.

"We rock!" Jean said, very enthused though a trickle of sweat ran down her face from the last simulated battle. The three X-men had performed superbly during the tests.

"All three of us really did an outstanding job," Cyclops said. "We make a good team."

"We don't wanna get too cocky, though," Wolverine muttered. "Who knows what it's really like during a battle?"

"If we keep this cloaking device on," Jean said, "we might never have to find out, since apparently we're invisible to any sensors." She paused. "Would you two excuse me for a minute?" she asked, and then left the bridge.

Cyclops and Wolverine sat in somewhat awkward silence for a bit. Finally Wolverine had to ask. "How is she doing? She seems alright."

"She is," Cyclops said. "She's…remarkably well, I think."

There was so much Wolverine wanted to know. But how do you broach it with a man who was not exactly your best friend in the world? And Wolverine didn't want to know just for the sake of knowing…..he still loved Jean, more than just about anyone else in his life. He accepted that she would never be his. But he wanted know how Jean was coping because thoughts of what she went through were keeping him awake at night.

"I think she appreciates what you said to her the other day, when you asked if there was anything you could do to help," Cyclops said. "She told me that everyone's caring for her made her feel better."

"That's good to hear," Wolverine said. He could smell that Scott and Jean had not yet had sex since the assaults took place. How Wolverine wanted to be the one to hold Jean and comfort her, to be the one to console her….and when the time was right, to tenderly make love to her. He would replace the horrors she had endured with far better memories.

Cyclops glanced at Wolverine. During the past few years, ever since Scott and Jean had married, the Canadian had pretty much ceased trying to win Jean over. Scott guessed that Wolverine still loved her, though. He knew he could always ask Jean if his assumption was correct, but the two of them no longer brought up the subject of Wolverine's feelings for Jean.

They had discussed the topic, of course, not long after Wolverine had joined the X-men and shared with Jean his feelings for her, so many years ago. It had been one of their worst periods of time as a couple, leading to weeks of bitter arguments. Since Scott and Jean had agreed on complete honesty (their psychic link pretty much demanded it), Jean had had no choice but to tell the truth when Scott had asked her if she was attracted to Wolverine.

It had not been easy for Scott to hear the answer to his question. Jean had reassured him numerous times that she loved * him*, not Wolverine…but that she couldn't help the fact that she felt some attraction towards the newest X-man. "Scott, listen," Jean had urged. "You remember when Psylocke was a member of our team, don't you? You admitted to me that you felt an attraction to her. I didn't like that at all, but I understood that one cannot control who they feel an attraction to. The part we can control is our actions. You didn't act on your attraction to Psylocke, and I won't act on this attraction to Wolverine."

Scott's mind had been won over by her logic, but his emotional side had been wounded. Why, of all the men on the team, did his girlfriend have to feel attracted to the one Scott liked the least? And deep down he sensed the truth: what Jean felt towards Wolverine was a bit more than an attraction. Maybe she loved him too. Not the way she loved Scott; not at all, but there was definitely more than an attraction there, and always had been .

`It's ancient history, now,' Scott reminded himself as he sat on the bridge. He no longer feared that Jean would succumb to her attraction to Wolverine and he appreciated that Wolverine kept his feelings for Jean to himself nowadays. He took another glance at his teammate and had to be impressed with the man's self-control. For many years Scott had hoped that a new woman would join the X-men, and she and Wolverine would fall head over heels for each other. But that didn't happen, and given the X-men's current condition, didn't appear too likely now either.

* * *

"Hank, you gotta come here!" I spoke into my communicator.

Hank's voice was steady as he replied to me, "It would help, my friend, if you told me where `here' is."

He and I laughed together. I liked to do things like that to see his reaction. "I'm in the supply room. Look at all this stuff!"

"It is hard for me to look when I cannot see what you're looking at, Bobby," he said patiently. "I'll be right there."

After a minute, the door to the huge room slid open. I was hunched over a large storage box as Hank approached. "Did you know they have a closet back here where they got even more stuff? I gotta hand it to these FOH guys. They might be complete assholes but they pack well. Look at this!"

I held it up and presented it to Hank. It was a program for a replicator device. "It can be used in a food replicator, but not to create food. Look, Hank. It's * clothing* patterns! We don't have to keep wearing the same drab khakis and T-shirts. We can re-create our costumes!"

Hank rolled his eyes. "You took me away from my research on the collars to show me this?" He asked.

"C'mon, Hank, admit this is really cool!"

"What do I care, I always wore the same things back at the mansion so why would I change now?" Hank said, smiling.

"Okay, if you don't care about my find, I'm sure someone else will. I can't wait to start replicating better clothes. I refuse to spend another day wearing this stuff. Oh, and guess what else I found? Packets of seeds!"

"Really?" Now he was impressed. "What sort of seeds?"

"Every veggie under the sun. Lettuce, peppers, carrots, spinach, broccoli, zucchini, sprouts, tomatoes, cauliflower, pumpkin, beans, radishes, squash. Damn those FOH people. Again, complete assholes but at least they understood the importance of a healthy diet."

"For themselves, apparently but not for their prisoners."

"Well, if we ever run out of power on this ship, we will at least be able to live on vegetable stew for a while. As soon as I begin growing all this."

"I must say that your enthusiasm is impressive, Bobby. Have you gardened before?"

"Oh, I never told you, did I? I had a patch at a community garden back in San Fran. I have a real green thumb."

"I never knew that. You didn't garden when you were with the X-men the first time around."

"I learned to both garden and cook. A tactic to try and help me find a boyfriend," I explained, "since so few men do this stuff."

Hank smiled. "Well, I'm sure you'll be a success in growing us some vegetables. And I believe that Jean also enjoys gardening. Perhaps you might want to work with her." He paused for a minute. "I don't know if Jubilee has tried it or not, but working on something like this might be restorative for her. Perhaps you can suggest it."

"I will. I can mention it to her tonight, if she plans on sleeping in my room again."

"She might not do so tonight. Storm told me that she and the other women plan to have a healing ceremony tonight."

"Really?" I asked ."That's great. Maybe Jubilee would prefer to sleep in Storm's room then. Which would be fine with me since my back doesn't like the idea of another night on the cot."

During dinner, Jubilee was quiet as usual but she did eat. It seemed to me that she ate a bit more than she had the previous day. I enthusiastically told the group of my discoveries earlier today in the storage room. Hank also told us a little about what he had learned about the collars and how they work. I have to say his discussion was a little too technical and I think mine was much more interesting.

After dinner, the women headed off together. Hank and the Professor decided to remain in the infirmary. Gambit asked me if I wanted to join the other guys in the gym. "If you guys want to do the Danger Room, I'll work out with you there, but I refuse to play sports!" I said firmly. Gambit smiled and gestured for me to follow him.

* * *

Rogue sat cross-legged on the floor of Storm's room, wondering what had possessed her to agree to this. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of the burning sage – Storm had used the food replicator to procure it and began burning it as soon as Jean, Jubilee and Rogue had seated themselves in a circle on the floor. "It's for purification," Storm explained. Rogue idly wondered if burning sage always had this stench or if it was because they were using the replicated version of the herb.

The room was lit only by four large, waxy, orange candles that Storm had found in the supply room. She finished lighting the fourth one and sat in the circle with her teammates. Shadows flickered on the walls.

Rogue looked at the group. Jubilee's eyes were downcast; she seemed to be staring at her ankles. Jean's face was placid; her gaze casually shifting from the candle to the sage to Storm. Storm looked business like as usual, her emotions under control as they always were. Rogue imagined that she, herself, looked as much like a fish out of water as she felt.

Storm took a look at her teammates and took a deep breath. "I might suggest that we take several deep breaths first," she said quietly. Rogue resisted the urge to make a face. She saw Jean and Jubilee taking Storm's suggestion and felt compelled to breathe deeply as well.

Storm closed her eyes, inhaled slowly and exhaled slowly. She then asked each woman to talk about why she was there and what she hoped to get from their ceremony. She also offered to speak first. "I hope that the four of us can come together and benefit from each other's strength and courage, and to help each other heal. We are all strong women and we can help each other and support each other in getting through what we experienced."

Storm was silent and then glanced at Rogue, who was sitting to her right. Rogue felt awkward as she had no idea what to say. "Um….what she said," Rogue quipped. Jean and Storm both laughed. Rogue indicated that she had nothing to add by looking at Jean who was seated to her right.

Jean gave a few thoughts that echoed Storm's words. She added, "I appreciate Storm for calling us together. And I think that maybe we should look at this as a first step, because healing is a process and not something that happens overnight."

All eyes turned to Jubilee. Jubilee looked up momentarily. She had been sitting cross-legged, hugging her arms to herself. She gave a slight shake of her head and looked back down towards the floor. Jean was not disappointed; she had not been expecting Jubilee to participate to any greater extent.

Jubilee herself wasn't sure whether agreeing to this was a good idea. She knew they were bound to discuss the attacks but Jubilee wanted those memories buried. Every time they pushed their way to the surface, it was painful. An image flashed across Jubilee's mind. The second solider to rape her wanted Jubilee to perform oral sex on him. Jubilee's body had been aching with intense pain from the first man's assault, and tears streamed down her face. She didn't know exactly how to do what the soldier wanted and she was too terrified and panicked to think. The man had grabbed her hair and yanked her head in Jean's direction. "Do what she's doing!" he had gruffly ordered. Jubilee had been shocked and even disgusted to see Jean at the other soldier's mercy and doing what he wanted. Jubilee had tried to stop crying long enough to obey the soldier.

She cut off that line of thought. She had to. Jubilee forced her mind to concentrate on the events that were taking place right then and now. She hoped she could mentally survive if the other women began sharing memories of the assaults.

The four women spent the next hour talking with each other. Storm kept the mood as informal as possible, making sure her teammates knew that their ceremony did not need to follow any prescribed set of rules. Storm rather liked being the one to facilitate, though. It allowed her to participate while listening and offering gentle guidance, thus giving her a sense of distance from the frightful events. None of the women talked directly about the assaults or recounted the events of what happened while they were held captive. Instead they talked more about how the brutalization made them feel.

"I feel like my humanity was attacked," Jean said. "I feel like I was robbed of something."

Once Rogue got to talking, she was hard pressed to stop. "I feel like I am so angry that I'll never not be angry! I gotta wake up every mornin feeling disgusted and madder `an hell. Killing those bastards helped me, like it took the edge off my anger. But I'm still pissed."

Jubilee didn't talk at all, though listening to her teammates had not been painful as she had feared. They mostly talked about how they felt right then and there, and it made Jubilee feel better to know their emotions mirrored hers. When the conversation seemed to be dying down, she spoke very quietly. "Thank you all for this. I feel a little bit better." Storm, Jean and Rogue exchanged excited looks. Jubilee had not spoken these many words at once since before the rapes.

Jean reached over and hugged Jubilee, and her heart skipped a beat when Jubilee returned the hug. Storm concluded the ceremony reiterating that they only had to view this as a beginning, and they could come together like this again as often as they wanted to. Jubilee perked up at the suggestion of meeting again, and Jean added that she would very much like to. Rogue had to smile and admit that she got something out of this and would also like to meet again. The four women all embraced each other before saying goodnight.

* * *

Scott sat up in bed, reading the novel he had printed up off the computer earlier that day. His hands would greatly have preferred the feel of a real book rather than so many white sheets of paper stapled together, but this would have to suffice. At least he was getting the pleasure of reading great literature before bedtime.

He gasped with surprise when the door to his room slid aside.

"Jean? I didn't expect you back so early," he said.

"It's okay," she said. "The ceremony went well. We had a good time together but we didn't go for too long. We all decided that we want to meet again later." She walked to the side of the bed and reached to kiss his mouth. As she drew near to him, he relished the softness of her mouth and her scent. She sat next to him on the bed and they put their arms around each other.

"You look very happy," he said when she pulled back and looked at him. Her eyes were shining and she looked pretty much just like the old Jean.

"I am. I'm delighted it went so well. Rogue is finally talking about her anger. I could feel the anger leaving her body. I mean, it is leaving her slowly and there's still a lot in there, but she got some of it out. Talking about how mad she is really helps her. And Jubilee! She actually said two whole sentences. She hugged each of us before she left, and I felt more warmth from her than I have since…since before we all set foot on this ship. I didn't need my powers at all to detect the difference in her."

"That's wonderful!" Scott said.

"I really, really feel like she is eventually going to be ok. This was a great first step." As Jean spoke, her fingers casually played with Scott's hair and traced his face. When her fingers grazed his mouth, he placed a quick kiss on them.

She reached and quickly kissed his mouth again before she pulled back and stood up. "Well, I am going to take my bath now," she told him.

He nodded. "It is late."

"Are you going to sleep anytime soon?" Jean asked.

Scott wasn't sure how to take her question. "Well, I didn't have any plans to do anything else tonight," he said before he thought about what she might mean. He did a double take and looked at Jean. Her eyes sparkled and she was smiling, but before he could say more, she disappeared into the bathroom. Scott lay on the bed wondering, as he heard the bathwater run.

Jean emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, wearing only a towel. She waited for Scott to look up from his papers and notice her. Scott had been re-reading the same few paragraphs the whole time Jean had been in the bathroom, and was glad to focus his sight elsewhere. He looked at her, his heart rate starting to pick up.

Jean walked over to her husband, smiling. After she took the papers from his hands and tossed them aside, she sat on his lap. "Jean-" he began, but was cut off by her mouth on his.

The kiss lasted for many long moments, each reveling in the heavenly sensations of feeling their soulmate's mouth against their own. Their tongues played together. Jean felt her heart race and her body already on fire. She had known from the moment she walked out of the ceremony that she was ready to make love with Scott.

After a while, Jean broke off the kiss and leaned back. She removed her towel and flung it to the floor. Scott fought to keep his breathing steady and calm. Making love to Jean was his favorite pleasure in the world and it seemed like an eternity had passed since they had experienced this, and he had been gearing up to prepare to wait another eternity before she might be ready. But Jean was now pressing her body against his, her fingers tracing the slight stubble on his face. She pulled him into a kiss again which they enjoyed. "Your mouth tastes so good," she whispered to him.

Again Jean pulled back, this time so she could disrobe her husband. She took her weight off him and used her powers to lift his undershirt upwards. Scott gladly lifted his arms and allowed his shirt to join Jean's towel on the floor. Scott then lay back as Jean pressed herself towards him, lavishing his face and upper body with kisses. She kissed his neck, massaged his muscled shoulders and arms, and worked her way to his chest. She planted a few delicate kisses on his nipples. She wanted to take this slowly, but her hands were trembling and the call from her loins was becoming more and more urgent. She took her mouth from his chest and looked at Scott's handsome face.

"Can I do the same to you?" he asked.

Jean answered by shifting her position to lay on her back. Despite Jean's tender ministrations, Scott was a bit nervous. He kept as much of his weight off of her as possible as his hands and mouth began to pay homage to her. He held one of her hands to his mouth and kissed each finger. Slowly he moved up her arm and placed delicate kisses along it. It felt to Jean as if a lifetime passed before he reached her other arm, planted kisses in the hollow of her elbow, and moved on to kiss the fingers on her other hand.

"Scott," Jean breathed, "there is no need to go so slowly tonight."

"Pleasure should be savored, my love," Scott whispered. His head was spinning. He was sure that given the circumstances, she would want to go slowly. That is what would make sense to him. But she was telling him otherwise.

Jean's reply was a loud moan, the sound of which had the ability to drive him crazy. He tried to accommodate her desire by reaching her breasts and cupping them. He brought his mouth down on the rounded flesh and tongued an erect nipple, as his other hand kneaded the flesh of the other breast. Jean adored the sensations, but she had meant it when she urged her husband to go faster. Gently, gently she pushed his head downwards.

Scott complied, moved down on the bed, his face at her belly. He slathered the taut flesh with kisses, his tongue darting in and out of her navel. She moaned again, "This feels so good." She started arching her hips and then spread her legs.

Scott didn't need his psychic link with her to know what she wanted him to do. He wanted to do it too. He reached for a spare pillow and placed it under her hips. Scott was already hard, his heart pounding and his body trembling….and his link allowing him to feel how aroused Jean already was which intensified each sensation for him.

He slowly kissed her inner thighs, starting down towards her knee and eventually working his way to where her inner thigh met her public hair. Scott repeated the process on the other leg. Jean's small cries of pleasure made his body burn even more. His mouth finally reached her womanhood and he tentatively kissed his way in. Her lips parted. As her scent aroused him further, he noticed that she was already very, very wet. Her lips seemed to invite him in. He gently puffed a stream of air onto her whole area, as he knew she adored the sensation.

Jean moaned again and she silently urged him on. He licked and sucked her labia before working his way to her throbbing clit, delighting in the luscious pink folds. Scott kissed her clit with his lips and then tongued it. He knew from their mindlink that she wanted more vigorous pressure, so he licked the throbbing bud in circles. He felt her delight continue to build and his whole body felt on fire. His cock was so swollen now it was almost painful.

One of Scott's hands held one of Jean's. Jean's other hand grasped the bedpost as she thrust her hips wildly against her lover's lips and tongue. This was ecstasy. Her mind and body were in paradise. She felt as though the horrors she had lived through were being washed away. She was with the man she loved and it hadn't been spoilt one bit….in fact, it was better than ever. She loudly cried out as wave after wave of pleasure overtook her. She continued to move her hips after some time, and Scott continued to love her with his mouth until she gently tapped his head.

Scott looked up. Jean reached one hand to caress his hair. He had felt the intensity of her climax and was simultaneously stunned, awed, overjoyed and relieved. He had been ready to wait months and months before she was ready for this. "That was wonderful," Scott murmured.

"Yes, it was," Jean agreed. "And it's not over, is it?"

Scott smiled though he felt some unease. She wouldn't feel at all pressured, would she? She * had* initiated this. But which things did she want to do and which things would she prefer not to? He decided it would be best to let her take the lead. He moved so that he lay on his side, facing her.

Jean wasted no time; her hands cupped his manhood through the shorts he still wore. He was hard as a rock, drops of precum having already spilt onto his shorts. "I think it's time we got rid of these, don't you?" Jean asked, as she tugged at the waistband. His shorts were discarded quickly.

Jean slithered down so that she faced his hardness, and she rubbed her cheek against it. Scott knew what she was preparing to do but asked her not to. "Not that," he whispered. "I'd prefer we didn't do that now."

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm too close to cuming right now." Jean sensed that there was an additional reason too, which he was trying to conceal from her. She knew he was concerned it would bring some bad memories back to her. She felt his anxiety build and realized there was some truth to his concern. She acquiesced and simply planted a kiss on the throbbing, wet tip of his cock.

Jean then moved so that she lay on top of her husband. She bent to kiss him again before she mounted him. Slowly she lowered herself onto him, bracing herself by placing her arms on his shoulders. The sensation of him filling her, their two bodies becoming one, was tremendously fulfilling to both. Gradually she built up a rhythm, thrusting up and down. She transferred her grasp to Scott's hands.

She sensed his anxiety and felt she had to reassure him that she was alright. He was nervous. Using their mindlink, she conveyed feelings of her delight to him.

Fleetingly, Jean's memory flashed back to when the couple had first become lovers, so many years ago. Scott had been so nervous back then too. Although Jean had been no virgin, she had had only one previous lover. Scott-who didn't have a great deal of experience himself-was worried about being able to please her. Jean had picked up on his anxiety which caused her to worry herself. They both had had to learn that being in love didn't automatically translate into sexual bliss. But the process of learning had brought them closer, and Scott's earnest desire to please endeared him even more to Jean. After a while, they had found their rhythm and were able to relax and enjoy their lovemaking. Jean recalled those memories because she knew Scott hadn't been so nervous since then.

"I love you, sweetheart," she murmured. "This feels so good." She looked at his face and felt his heart leap with love for her.

"Jean," he gasped. She groaned and responded by moving her hips faster and faster. She gyrated her hips, making little circles which intensified the sensations Scott felt. He looked up at her form, her hair plastered against her face, her eyes closed in rapture, her generous breasts bobbing up and down as she bounced. He felt his orgasm building as she pounded up and down, faster and faster. He eagerly thrust his hips back at her.

Jean felt that his climax was building, he was on the brink and yet the very controlled man held back. /Why are you holding back?/

/Because you haven't come yet./ was the simple answer.

Jean had to smile inwardly. This was so Scott. /Sweetie, I already came, when you were giving me head./

/I know, but don't you want to again?/ She had done it before, several times. Like many of her fellow mutant women, she often didn't stop at one orgasm per lovemaking session.

/My body is telling me that won't happen this time. Don't worry about it, my love. I'm enjoying this./

He still felt some reluctance. Inwardly she sighed. She loved him dearly, but he could be this way at times and she got a little tired of having to reassure him. Jean flooded his mind with sexy sensations as she clenched her inner muscles around him. She couldn't see it but his eyes widened. Her thrusting sped up and she forced the orgasm from him. He came and came, flooding her with his love juices.

Afterwards, they curled up together. They happily kissed and caressed, snuggling together. They shared their contented feelings with each other and eased into a calm sleep. At some point during the night, they woke up together. Tenderly, delicately, exquisitely they made love again. This time they went very slowly, savoring each second.

Scott's opinion of healing ceremonies could not have been higher.

* * *

When I walked into the infirmary for breakfast, Jubilee and Storm were sitting at the table eating. We X-men had dinner together every day but due to the disparate times at which we all got out of bed, we tended to eat breakfast at staggered times. Hank was already working away at his lab, probably having finished breakfast a while ago.

I cautiously approached Storm and Jubilee. "Good morning," I said.

Jubilee turned her head and looked at me. "Good morning," she said. Storm also greeted me. Jubilee looked good-as if she had slept well and was more alert than she had been. She definitely wasn't anywhere near her old self, but she looked ok.

"I missed having you share my room last night," I said light-heartedly to Jubilee. "Did you sleep elsewhere?"

Jubilee looked at Storm. "She shared my room," Storm said. Storm also looked even more peaceful and normal than she had since we were captured.

I sat next to them at the table and helped myself to some of the remaining pancakes and fruit. Storm and I talked a bit about miscellaneous things. She asked me how my learning of the ship's functions was going. I asked her about the healing ceremony of yesterday and she just said that it went quite well.

During the conversation, Jubilee looked down. She was eating, which was encouraging, but her portions were very small, as they had been since she "woke up." She chewed very, very slowly and I wondered if her throat hurt because she seemed to take a while to swallow. She hadn't spoken since she returned my good morning greeting. I kinda glanced in her direction and then shot Storm a questioning look. Storm gave a slight nod.

"Jubilee," I began, "would you be interested in helping me with something?"

Jubilee looked at me, just gazing in my direction. I took that as a slight encouragement so I went on to tell her, in a very enthusiastic tone, about all the seeds I had found and my plans for the ship's vegetable garden. "Really, gardening is a lot of fun. Do you want to help me?"

She shrugged and said, "Sure."

Storm smiled at me which I interpreted as a sign to not get discouraged. We ate leisurely, and before long Cyclops and Jean joined us.

Jean patted Jubilee's shoulder, and Jubilee seemed to respond well to her. They seated themselves at the table and began finishing off the pancakes. Storm and Cyclops spoke a lot about ship's functions, and the status of the team's lessons in our learning. Storm said that Rogue and Gambit were trailing the rest of the team in terms of their learning as they both favored spending their time at the gym.

"But we should go easy on them for now," Storm advised. "It has not been very long since we all agreed to start learning the ship's functions.."

Cyclops nodded. "I agree but I don't want them to wait forever, either. I'll give them a few more days to take more of an interest in learning about the ship before I speak to them about it. We do all need to learn how this ship works, and it is not that difficult to pick up."

"Perhaps they would work better if they each had a one-on-one teacher," Storm suggested. "Most of us have been doing self-learning with the computer teaching us, but that method just might not be for everyone."

"That's a great point," Cyclops admitted.

I gotta say that I prefer Storm's leadership style to Cyclops's. From what I could see of them in battle, they are roughly equal but Storm just comes across as more warm and she's better on the people side. Though I don't have anything against Cyclops. I was observing what a good, loving husband he was to Jean. I wonder why he couldn't translate that to the team.

During their discussion, I sneaked a few looks at Jubilee, trying to catch her eye so I could smile at her. But from that point on, she just looked down at her plate and didn't talk.

Wolverine entered the room, a bit earlier than his usual time. The seat to Cyclops's left was empty, so he took it. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. He kinda sniffed the air around Scott and Jean, and then got a look on his face that was a bit hard to interpret. It wasn't a negative look necessarily (at least not by Wolverine standards) but I couldn't guess what that expression meant. I detected a bit of surprise, and maybe even a bit of….relief or happiness even? Hard to say.

Anyway, I was glad that Jubilee agreed to work on the garden with me. After breakfast, she and I headed straight for the room I'd set the garden up in. We worked together. She was cooperative and alert, though not at all talkative.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I would estimate that about two or three weeks passed. When you're up in space, it is possible that you lose your sense of time in a way, though we were good about sticking to our schedule-we had morning, noon and night on this ship and the group ate dinner together every day. The Professor felt it was important to keep us on a regular schedule like that, and everyone pretty much agreed. He was keeping track of the days and weeks that were passing on earth and sometimes informed us what the corresponding date was on earth.

Not much happened during these weeks. Everyone spent their days mastering the ship's functions. Well, everyone except Jubilee who didn't take an interest in it, and no one wanted to force her to learn. But with the exception of her, we got to the point where any of us could take the ship off autopilot and fly it, ace all the computer-simulated battles at the weaponry station, and had a working knowledge of other ship functions like life support and engineering. We even learned how to fly the shuttles, and took them out for practice runs.

I became even more of a computer geek. Remember my job for most of the last seven years was as a computer programmer and I've always had an affinity for those things. The computer on this ship was highly advanced, but I mastered it. I learned it inside and out, and the others - including Colossus - had to be impressed.

When we X-men weren't drilling each other on ship basics, most of us spent our time in the gym. We played sports together (well…..*they* played sports together, though I was talked into a few harmless volleyball games which I was able to hold my own in) and trained each other in the reconstructed Danger Room. The ship also had a pool, which was marvelous! I replicated swim wear for everyone and we all spent long hours in the pool. Jubilee, too, enjoyed floating in the pool, which was great as she didn't join the team in the Danger Room or during sports. It gave her a chance to socialize and be with others.

Despite her affinity for the water, I didn't see Jubilee smile. I hadn't seen her smile since before we were abducted.

Our other group hobby was card games, and we had many long evenings sitting around the table in the infirmary learning and playing every card game that Gambit could think of. The Professor even seemed to enjoy playing. Gambit loved this, though he was a bit dejected that we had no money to gamble with.

Speaking of Gambit, he and I were becoming pretty good friends. He liked to confide in me, and I think that he didn't open up about personal things with the others quite like this, though I could be wrong. He seemed quite friendly with the other guys but I sensed that I was his only confidant since Rogue wasn't speaking to him. He told me that things weren't changing much between him and Rogue. He gave her the space she said she wanted. She was nice enough to him, no longer telling him to fuck off, but she never initiated a talk with him or initiated spending time alone with him. Gambit really was hurting over this. He was, however, cheered by the fact that mentally Rogue seemed to be making an improvement. Her mood seemed a little better.

Rogue and the other women were continuing to get together every now and then. I think it helped, at least that's what I observed and occasionally overheard. Jubilee wasn't like her old self-and maybe she never will be-but she was ok.

All of the women seemed to be coping alright. Though there were occasional reminders that a major tragedy had occurred. Once I was at the pool, changing behind one of the screens. Cyclops and Jean didn't know I was there and I overheard Jean suddenly just burst into tears, out of nowhere. Cyke was all worried, asking her if it was anything he did. She actually got exasperated and said it had nothing to do with him, of course-she just had a flashback to the rapes and was hurting about that. I stayed frozen behind the screen, embarrassed to be witnessing such a personal situation and not wanting to reveal my presence. He hugged her for a long time - he was really loving and gentle. What I wouldn't give to have a love such as theirs in my life. Anyway, I would wager a guess that all of the women had episodes like that at times; in fact, I would think that would be a very normal reaction.

In addition to becoming better friends with Gambit, my friendship with Hank remained strong as ever. We spent a lot of time together and I'm lucky I have someone who can put up with my moods and my occasional silliness. I also got a bit closer to Jean, as she worked with me on the garden and on replicating clothes. (With my help, she replicated herself a gorgeous pair of silk pajamas.) Jubilee seemed to be most comfortable with Jean and Storm; she spent most of her time with one of them. I got to hang out with Jean and Storm quite a bit, and Storm was friendly towards me.

As for Rogue, Cyclops, Wolverine and Colossus-none of them really sought me out as someone to hang around with, but they didn't avoid me at all either. I interacted with them during the usual activities done in the gym and the card games, and all of them were nice enough. Maybe it was for the better to not spend a lot of time with Wolverine. I wondered how much his hyper-senses picked up and really feared that he knew I was majorly attracted to him. My gut says that he knew. I give him credit though; he didn't treat me any differently for it.

I think the Professor was doing alright. When I think of everything he has lost –- Magneto, the mansion, the Institute, and, for the time being at least, the dream of mutants and non-mutants co-existing peacefully, not to mention seeing his students tortured - he appeared remarkably well. I think Hank is probably the one who knows him best as a person, and when I inquired as to how he felt Charles was doing, he answered, "He's coping."

As for the status of our ship and our journey, nothing much changed in those weeks either. Remaining cloaked, we headed away from earth. We got out of range for picking up news reports from earth, which might have been for the best since we were all appalled over the Mutant Sterilization Act passing. The last news report we were able to pick up mentioned that a bill had just been introduced to deny mutants the right to vote.

If FOH sent another ship out to look for us, we didn't encounter it. Maybe they feared us, having guessed what we did to their crew. But we supposed the main reason they didn't even come near us is that space is really, really vast, and when your ship is cloaked, there really is no way for others to locate it. As Hank once said, "We are the proverbial needle in the haystack." And Cyclops had added, "Yes, and the needle is invisible." They would pretty much need to get right on us to be able to sense us (and if they did so, we could always change our position.)

Oh, I should mention too…I used the clothing replicator to create copies of all our old uniforms. This was a big hit among the X-men; even Wolverine seemed enthused to be getting his old yellow spandex outfit back. We looked a lot more like our old selves when we could ditch the sweatpants and T-shirts in favor of our uniforms.

One thing I think we were missing as a group. We never did do any sort of group healing -whatever you want to call it - over the torture we (especially the women) suffered when we were captured. The women continued to have their meetings and I guess maybe everyone wanted to think that would be enough. There was a lot of denial going on. When we were gardening one day, Jean told me she sensed that the men all felt some measure of guilt and shame over what had happened, but she said, "I am as lost as everyone else on how to bring this up as a group."

There is one thing that happened during the past few weeks that I should mention. I think it was a fluke. I dunno. Gambit and I had been drinking and playing cards late into the evening. We didn't usually drink much but this night we did. He had had one too many. I was tipsy but basically ok. We finished a game and he said out of nowhere, "Gambit is horny as all hell." I wasn't sure how to take that, so I said something light-hearted about the lack of available women here and I knew it must be driving him crazy. He continued talking along that theme, saying he was too good of a lover to go this long without sex. His tone and body language were definitely….hinting at me. I kept deflecting his innuendo until he just asked me straight out whether I liked performing blow jobs. At that point, I just stood up and said, "Gambit, you've had too much to drink. Why don't we call it a night?" I walked to the door.

After that, we left the infirmary and each went to his own room. I gotta say I think I deserve a gold medal. Especially since the answer to his question was an enthusiastic YES, and I was as "horny as all hell" too. This had to have been one of the longest stretches I've gone without sex and it was not easy. The Bobby of years ago would have had no qualms about taking him up on his offer. But I knew that Gambit was drunk and it just wouldn't have been right. Everything would have been way too awkward from that point on and we would both have seriously regretted it. As it was, the day after and going forward we just did the "it never happened" thing, and avoided late night drinking card games. Our friendship didn't suffer, which I was glad for.

After the lull and routine of the last few weeks, it was a bit of a surprise when Storm's voice boomed over the intercom, "Everyone report to the bridge at once. I repeat, all X-men report to the bridge at once."

Her voice sounded calm, and not at all urgent, as normal. But this was unusual. We rarely used the intercom and the only time people went on the bridge was when they were training or if you needed more detail from the ship's system.

All 11 of us hurried to the bridge. Rogue, Colossus, Jean and I rode the elevator together and walked swiftly, without much conversation, to the bridge. It was a cozy fit on the tight bridge. We all stood, as it only had four seats.

"We have important news and decisions to make," Cyclops said. He and Storm both looked concerned. "Our sensors have detected that a ship is on a direct course for the planet. This is the planet that Magneto was killed on and that FOH was taking us to."

"I thought we were far away from that planet by now," Rogue said.

"Distance in space is a tricky thing," Hank said. "We have been travelling away from the planet, but at warp speed, we can be back there in a matter of several hours. Whatever the case, it is within sensor range."

"We would like to remain cloaked but travel back that way," Storm said. "The FOH might be taking other mutants to be killed there. At this distance, our sensors can't get more specific other than telling us that it is a large ship on a direct course for the planet."

"When we get closer," the Professor said, "I hope to be able to sense whether there are any mutants on there."

"Maybe we can also use ship's sensor to tell how many soldiers on board other ship," Colossus said.

"Bobby, you've become an expert with the computer," the Professor said. "When we get closer, I want you to try to tap into the other ship's computer and find out whatever you can about their mission and the status of their ship."

I nodded. "I'd love to."

Cyclops said, "Our plan at this point is to remain cloaked but get closer to this other ship. If there are mutants on board, we will attempt to rescue them. But if not, we are not going to wage an offensive war on the FOH ship. If there are no mutants, we are going back off."

Everyone was ok with this plan. "Whatever we do," Storm said, "we will act cautiously and conservatively. We absolutely cannot risk getting re-captured." A wave of fear passed over the 11 of us. God, can you imagine if we were captured again? Mentally, how would we deal with the after-effects, assuming we could even escape again with our lives? At the same time, we felt the terror for the mutants on board the ship that was heading for the planet. We had to save them. My heart sped up and I gulped air just thinking of this. The others, more used to battle, appeared calmer. But no one was at ease.

Storm added, "If we jump to warp 2, we can be there in 14 hours."

The next several hours were spent with the team drilling and re-drilling each other on ships weaponry, and discussions on what a rescue might look like. But we were hampered from making concrete plans until we had more information.

As hours passed, we got closer to the other ship. "Eureka!" I announced. Sitting on the bridge with Cyclops, Wolverine and Storm, I had successfully tapped into the other ship's computer. I had been working non-stop, but not feeling the least bit tired. One by one, I revealed my findings to my teammates, with the others listening in on the intercom.

"The other ship is a much older model than this one," I said, my fingers dancing away on the keyboard. "It is quite a bit larger too. But its weaponry is not as sophisticated as this one, and it is much less maneuverable. A much slower and more cumbersome ship than ours." My mind whirled as I encountered more and more information. "The other ship has been in space for quite a while….A-ha! It began its journey before, before we were even kidnapped! What happened was that it was stranded in space because it needed repairs…..Apparently it had trouble with its engines and had to remain stuck in space for several weeks until FOH sent another ship to repair it. Now that it's repaired, it has resumed its journey to the planet. The FOH refers to the planet as the Acid Planet. And the name of the other ship is The Destroyer."

"How many people on board?" Wolverine asked. He sounded eager, as if smelling blood.

"According to this, it's standard crew compliment is 450. I can't confirm that there are 450 living beings actually on board, but that is considered the recommended crew compliment."

"That's double the number that was on our ship," Storm said.

The Professor, who had been listening on the intercom, entered the bridge. "There are mutants on board," he said. "I can sense them now. I am not sure how many, but there are some."

Our ears all perked up. My fingers started to shake a bit. The other ship had mutants on board. Now we had to rescue them. Now we risked getting captured again.

"How long till we intercept the other ship?" Hank asked over the intercom. "And how long till the Destroyer reaches the planet?"

Cyclops looked at his console. "The Destroyer should reach the planet in 4 hours, but our ship is faster. We'll get there in three."

"We need to start thinking of a plan," Storm said.

Our ship approached the other. We had all been briefed on the plan and were ready to carry it out. Even though it seemed that this plan posed the least amount of risk for us getting re-captured, I cannot say I felt the least bit at ease. I was completely nervous.

We decided to operate under the assumption that the Destroyer would beam the mutants it had on board down to the planet's surface. When the Professor had searched the minds of the FOH members on this ship, the images he saw involved Magneto and his comrades being beamed down to the surface together and then, one by one, tossed into the acid pit. We were banking on them using the same scenario. Once the mutants and FOH guards were beamed to the surface, we would lock onto them, beam them on board, and speed away.

This might sound easy but there was one element that put us at a tremendous amount of risk. In order to use our transporter, we had to uncloak and drop our shields. There is no way to transport someone on board your ship when it is cloaked and has its shields up.

We drilled each other. Hank had the most dexterity and was able to move the fastest. He would work the controls; his fingers would press the buttons to uncloak the ship, drop our shields, beam up any mutants, re-cloak us and re-shield us. He sat on the bridge with Cyclops, Rogue and Wolverine. Cyclops would navigate the ship away as soon as we had the mutants. In the event of any problems, he, Rogue and Wolverine had tested the best during simulated battles. They would defend the ship against the Destroyer if they had to, with Cyclops maneuvering the ship and Rogue and Wolverine firing our phasers.

There was something that had the potential to throw a wrench into our plan. What if all the mutants weren't beamed down at the same time? Indeed, how would we know? Our ships' sensors now told us that there were 457 living human beings on board the Destroyer but that didn't tell us how many mutants were there. The standard crew compliment for it may be 450, but the FOH could easily have more or fewer of their ranks on board. Without Cerebro, the Professor could only sense the presence of mutants on the other ship, but he had no idea how many there were.

I understand that a lot of debate occurred over how to deal with this. It was decided that as soon as we beamed up the mutants, we would ask them whether other mutants were on board the Destroyer. If not, then our plan was fine. And if there were other mutants or they did not know…..our plan at that point would be to re-group and figure out what to do from there (after, of course, having re-cloaked, put the shields back up and making some distance between us at the Destroyer.) That bit of uncertainty didn't sit well with most of us, but there was one encouraging piece. The Professor said that from the FOH soldiers' minds he had probed, he knew that their usual practice was to beam all the mutants on a given ship down at once, and then toss them to their deaths one by one. We just had to hope that they wouldn't deviate from that practice, or if they did-we would be able to figure out what to do from there.

The Professor and Jean waited in the transporter room to receive the mutants. If they were unable to verbally communicate for whatever reasons, their minds could be read to get the answer to the question of whether other mutants were on board the Destroyer.

As for the rest of the X-men, Colossus and I were to wait inside the transporter room. We were to be ready to fight in case FOH soldiers were accidentally beamed up or other unforeseen events happened. We also were to help escort the mutants to sick bay, since we could be certain they might need it. Storm and Gambit were stationed in the engine room. In case we ended up having to engage the Destroyer in battle (which we really hoped not to), it would be important to monitor the ship's dilithium and be prepared to make engine repairs. Additionally, if something happened to the controls on the bridge, navigation and weapons could also be controlled from the engine room.

Jubilee was not ready for battle, of course, as she had not been training. During the rush to prepare, I did overhear Jubilee start crying when Storm explained what was going to happen. My heart broke for her. She feared being re-captured and told Storm that she would kill herself rather than be taken alive. She waited in sick bay, offering to help tend to any rescued mutants.

I was nervous enough at coming into this much contact with the FOH. Seeing Jubilee's terror-and the fact that she looked serious when she said she would kill herself rather than be taken alive-didn't help things at all.

* * *

The X-men's ship was waiting. Sitting just outside the planet's atmosphere and cloaked, it waited and watched as the Destroyer approached. Various emotions ran through the heads and hearts of the 11 people on board-hope, excitement and anticipation were there. More prevalent were fear and anxiety. A few of the X-men enjoyed battle and relished fighting, but even those members of the team had to beat back nervousness. The FOH had not only captured them, but had also scarred their minds, more than any other enemy ever had. What if they had some new weaponry?

Cyclops had reminded the team that at the first sight of serious trouble, if it looked as though the FOH had the possibility of demolishing their ship and re-capturing them, they would do whatever it took to escape -even if it meant abandoning the mutants they were there to rescue.

Cyclops, Beast, Rogue and Wolverine sat on the bridge, examining their consoles. Beast flexed his fingers. He mentally re-traced each button he would need to push to accomplish the mission.

Every intercom on the ship was open. The Professor, Jean, Colossus and Iceman were at their posts in the transporter room.

"Just breathe, Bobby," Jean Grey said to Iceman, noticing that his face was paler than normal

Iceman nodded. "I'm trying."

"The people on the bridge know what they're doing. This will go like clockwork. We'll save the mutants and then get right out of here."

To Iceman, it sounded almost as if Jean were trying to convince herself. The Professor had an even better sense of how nervous she truly was.

"Perhaps this will become our mission," Colossus said. "We continue to work and rescue mutants they bring here, every time."

"That's not a bad idea, Colossus," the Professor said, "but if we continue to be successful, they will stop bringing mutants here."

Jean nodded. "I wonder why they go to the trouble to bring them here. I am sure they can think of countless ways to bring a painful end to us."

Jean regretted her words as they didn't help lift the mood in the transporter room. Her stomach churned. As disciplined as her mind was, it kept betraying her by forcing painful images to surface. She and Scott had savored every minute they had spent together during the last several weeks. Would they be forced apart again? And what of all the work that had been done to help Jubilee recover? If they were captured again and the FOH soldiers tortured them as before, Jean knew that would be it for Jubilee. Her mind would retreat to a place inside, perhaps forever irrecoverable.

Jean's thoughts were interrupted by Beast's voice over the intercom. "The Destroyer is entering the planet's atmosphere." Jean forced herself to take her own advice and breath normally. Her heart sped up anyway.

On the bridge, Beast sat at the controls, ready. Their viewscreen allowed them to look at the activities on the planet's surface. As if to torment them, for many minutes absolutely nothing happened. The Destroyer simply sat. The consoles on the bridge would have alerted them if they were detected or being scanned. But nothing happened. The bridge, the transporter room, engineering and sick bay were deathly quiet.

At last, movement. Before they saw it on the viewscreen, the ship's monitors told them that the Destroyer was preparing to beam 17 people down to the surface. Beast's fingers hovered above his console.

The viewscreen displayed an image of 14 FOH guards and three mutants being transported to the planet's surface. The ship's sensors confirmed this. "Fourteen FOH and 3 mutants beamed to the surface," Cyclops said. He and Beast exchanged a quick look.

"Shields and cloaking device down," Hank said as his fingers worked. "Locking on to the three mutants. Transporting them now."

"We have them!" Jean said over the intercom, the very second the three mutants appeared on the transporter pad.

"Shields back up," Beast said. "Cloaking device re-engaged."

In the transporter room, there was no time to waste. "Are there any other mutants on board your ship?" the Professor asked the three, terrified people standing on the transporter pad.

The three rescued mutants were stunned and confused. The Professor and Jean's skills came in handy. He read their minds as Jean repeated the question. Finally it was understood. The answer was `no'; these three mutants were the only ones who had survived the journey on board the Destroyer.

"This is it," the Professor said. "No more mutants are on the Destroyer."

Cyclops plotted in a course to take them away from the planet. Engaging warp drive, the ship was gone from the planet in a flash.

The crew of the Destroyer was stunned. It happened within the blink of an eye. A ship had de-cloaked, beamed away their prisoners, and re-cloaked in the span of seconds. They had no way to track the ship once it was cloaked again, though they searched for a long time.

There was one prevalent mood on board the Destroyer: astonishment. There were multiple moods and feelings in the transporter room of the X-men's ship, though shock was the main emotion of the three rescued mutants.

"Mon dieu, we are saved," one of them said.

"Let us take you to sick bay right away," Colossus said.

Beast's voice sounded over the intercom. "I am on my way to sick bay now."

Two of the rescued mutants were male, one was female. Jean immediately recognized the look on the face of the woman, as well as her body language, and Jean didn't need to use her powers to understand that this mutant had survived what she had. Gently, she hugged the woman and escorted her to sick bay. The woman almost collapsed in her arms.

Beast's services in sick bay weren't as needed as we he had thought they might be. He was prepared to tend to the rescued mutants, with Jean and Bobby standing by, ready to assist. However, one of the mutants was a man called Shaman. As soon as his collar was off, he had the ability to heal simply by touching someone. He was exhausted and battered himself, but he immediately tended to his two teammates. Shaman's powers, the X-men would later learn, were not absolute and he could not fix everything. But he did wonders for his teammates and himself.

The three rescued mutants were the sole survivors of Alpha Flight, the Canadian mutant group. In addition to Shaman, the other two were the twin brother and sister team of Northstar and Marie. (Northstar's real name was Jean-Paul Beaubier, but everyone called him by his code name. His twin was the reverse. Her code name was Aurora Borealis, but most called her by her birth name of Jeanne Marie, or Marie for short.)

Gradually, Alpha Flight's story came out. It began over a year earlier, when the Professor extended an invitation to Alpha Flight. He asked them to consider joining-or teaming up with-the X-men for their mutual protection against the FOH. Although it was bitterly contested among Alpha Flight, they declined. Particularly Alpha Flight's leaders, the husband and wife team of Guardian and Vindicator, did not want to move to New York and be part of the X-men.

As anti-mutant sentiment grew, in Canada as in around the world, the government withdrew all funding from Alpha Flight and ordered them to disband. (Unlike the X-men, Alpha Flight had been financed and supported by their government since none of the members were independently wealthy.) The group was forced to go under ground.

FOH attacked one day and overwhelmed them, as they had the X-men. Several members of their team were killed in the final battle, but nine were taken alive as prisoner. The aging ship they were taken to, the Destroyer, suffered problems en route to the Acid Planet when its engines collapsed. Alpha Flight was stranded with the FOH crew for weeks on end before FOH sent a team to perform repairs.

At one point, an escape attempt was made. It failed, and FOH took six members of Alpha Flight and tortured them to death as examples. The rest of their team was forced to watch.

Needless to say, Shaman, Northstar and Jeanne Marie were traumatized. Shaman's powers healed many of their physical wounds, though not all. Northstar was missing about half of his teeth, and his left arm ended in a stump at the elbow-the soldiers had simply cut off the rest one day. The emotional wounds would be harder to deal with. Marie, in particular, looked lost and far away. She wasn't as far gone as Jubilee had been, but she was traumatized.

As soon as Shaman used his powers to treat his teammates and himself, he asked for a quiet place to rest and meditate. Storm led him to a room, and supplied him with candles. Beast offered to listen if he needed someone to talk to.

Northstar said he was physically exhausted, and asked for a bed. Beast hooked him up to an IV, as he had not been able to eat for many days and Shaman's powers were unable to completely reverse his nutrition depletion. The painkillers Northstar received in the infirmary were the first he had been given since his teeth had been ripped out and forearm removed. He was mentally and physically wiped out from the extreme pain, and he needed to sleep. Beast gave him a strong sedative that would provide hours and hours of restful sleep.

Jeanne Marie said she didn't want to be alone and asked for someone to talk to. Jean was happy to offer to listen, and the two women headed for another spare room together.

* * *

Rogue and Wolverine worked out in the gym together.

"Christ did you see how banged up those Alpha Flight survivors were?" Rogue muttered.

"They looked like hell," Wolverine said of his Canadian former teammates.

"I almost wished we could've had a confrontation with the FOH on board that ship and tanned their hides."

"Me too. We gotta find a way to stop those bastards from doing this to any more mutants."

Ten people sat around the dinner table that evening. It had been a very long day and conversation during the meal was minimal. None of the members of Alpha Flight elected to eat with the group. Shaman was still meditating, Northstar out cold, and Marie talking with Jean in her newly assigned room.

Jean did not return to the room she shared with Cyclops until a few hours after dinner. Cyclops's eyes widened when he saw how she looked upon entering their room. Her eyes reflected misery. She plodded over to the bed and slumped down on it. Scott immediately got up and sat next to her.

"Jeanie," he said, concerned.

"Holy Jesus. Scott, I think I feel sick," Jean's voice was ragged. She leaned forward and rested her head on her hands.

"You look like you would enjoy a warm bath."

"I would, but I think I need someone to rub my shoulders first."

Scott knelt behind her and worked the tense muscles. Jean groaned, thoughts of Marie's words replaying in her mind. "It was terrible," Jean repeated a few times. "The things Alpha Flight lived through….."

"It was very brave and kind of you to offer to listen to Marie, my love," Scott said softly. "Especially since we're still dealing with what happened to us."

"It had to be done," Jean said. "Storm had already went off with Shaman, and I don't think either Rogue or Jubilee is up for acting as a counselor now. Marie wanted to talk to another woman."

Time passed. Jean relaxed as Scott's adept fingers coaxed the knots out of her muscles. Jean felt much better after she took the warm bath. She sat on the bed and applied lotion to her dry skin.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Scott asked, watching his beautiful wife rub the lotion into her pink legs. Her hair was damp, the look on her face sullen.

"I do," Jean nodded. She looked down, her eyes on the white lotion that she was rubbing into her calves. She was quiet for a long time. "The things Marie told me are so horrific, I feel a bit funny sharing them even with you, and you know me better than anyone in my life."

That last sentence surprised Scott. They never hid information from each other and almost never felt any discomfort at revealing anything to the other. "I understand," Scott said. "But perhaps talking about will help your mood right now."

"I think you are right," Jean said quietly. She shuddered. "Where do I even start though?" She continued to look down, not wanting to turn her eyes towards her husband. "They suffered a lot worse than we did on their journey," she said finally. "A lot worse. They had double the number of soldiers and they were stranded in space for weeks. The soldiers got bored and restless. The things they did….Inhumane. I can't think of any adjectives strong enough. Not that the FOH weren't inhumane to us too. I guess after a point it gets so horrific that there's no point in comparing who suffered worse."

Jean went on to describe to Scott what Alpha Flight endured during their journey. The two female members of Alpha Flight who survived the battle, Marie and Vindicator, were led away and gang raped by the soldiers. FOH forced the male Alpha Flight members to watch as they were all held captive in one very large room, and that is where the rapes took place. The women were given almost no time to rest, and there were over 450 soldiers on board that ship.

"It gets worse," Jean said, preparing herself to recount the rest of what Marie had told her. When the ship got stranded and the soldiers got bored, FOH forced the male mutants to participate in the rapes. The men, of course, refused to but FOH used the collars on them and on the women to force them to comply. They coerced the women into performing oral sex on the men, and they forced the men to rape them. If they were unable to get erections, they were given objects-such as broom handles, pipes, guns-to rape them with.

The color had drained out of Scott's face, but Jean continued. FOH had found out that Northstar was gay when they accessed the groups' files from the Canadian government. They tortured him as well. Almost every day, they would come into the cell and remove one of Northstar's teeth. They removed his clothes and wouldn't allow any of teammates to share clothes with him. They forced Northstar to eat insects. On more than one occasion, they forced him to perform oral sex on his (male) teammates. One day a group of soldiers came in and just decided to chop off half his arm. Those soldiers were later yelled at, because most did not want Northstar to die so soon as they were having so much fun with him. FOH treated him so that the bleeding stopped and he wouldn't die.

When Alpha Flight attempted and failed to escape, the abuse got worse. The men were all physically tortured. Their skin was burned and they were lashed with whips. FOH decided to execute six members of the team, leaving three alive so their mission would not be a total waste and they would still have the pleasure of watching some mutants burn up on the Acid Planet. Shaman, Northstar and Marie had been compelled to watch as their six teammates were slowly tortured to death, one by one.

"Marie broke down at that point and she didn't tell me how they were killed or any of the details," Jean said. "I didn't want to, but my mind read some of the details from hers and glimpsed a few images. Horrible. An insult to humanity."

"I feel sick," Scott said, Jean's words echoing through his mind.

"I gave Marie the sedative that Hank gave Northstar. She needed it at that point, and she's out like a light now." Jean paused and put her head into her hands. She felt tears starting to well up. "Why do people hate us so much? What did we ever do to deserve this?"

She cried unabashedly now, as Scott's arms encircled her.

"We've had 15 years to think about it, but I still ask myself those questions every day," Scott said quietly. "And I know all of the logical explanations. People hate and fear what they don't understand. People have scapegoated other groups of people throughout history. But these explanations don't make me feel any better."

"And they don't explain," Jean said, through tears, "how people can be so mean. So brutal."

Scott continued to hug his wife, feeling as demoralized as she was.

* * *

Over the next several days, the X-men found that each of the surviving members of Alpha Flight had their own way of coping. Shaman rarely left his room. Meals and candles were brought to him as needed. The Professor and the others were concerned about him spending so much time alone after all he had endured, so the Professor entered his mind. His fears were assuaged; he learned that this was exactly what Shaman needed to do in order to cope.

Northstar spent most of his time in sick bay. His recovery was taking longer than it should have, especially given the healing powers Shaman had used on him. Beast surmised that part of him simply wanted to stay in the infirmary and under care. Northstar slept on his own for most of the day (without the influence of sedatives); the X-men ate their meals in the infirmary as normal and nothing disturbed the Canadian. Gradually, however, he got out of bed and spent time with his sister.

Jeanne Marie's way of coping involved telling her story, over and over. The day after she arrived, she sought out Storm and spent the better part of the day with her, recounting even more details than she had to Jean. She described at length the executions of her teammates. Storm had always thought she had a pretty thick skin, but this was wrenching to listen to.

Jeanne Marie later sought out Rogue's ear. Rogue listened to as much of Marie's remembrances as she could, but she reached a point where she apologized to the Canadian and told her she could not hear anymore of this. Rogue then made a bee-line for the gym and destroyed several punching bags and anyone she encountered in the Danger Room. The next day, Marie went back to Jean and asked her to listen again to the FOH's treatment of Alpha Flight on board the Destroyer. She repeated the same thing with Storm, and for several days alternated between the two X-men. Each time, it seemed to Jean and Storm, Marie recalled another sickening detail.

Marie eventually decided to take one of Storm's suggestions. Storm had told her that writing down her feelings, writing down what had happened to her might help. Marie sat at one of the many computers and poured out absolutely everything. She described what happened from the moment Alpha Flight was beamed aboard the Destroyer to when they were rescued. No detail was left unrecorded, and her account ran pages and pages. She wasn't ready to share it with anyone yet, but working on it seemed to light a spark in her eyes.

One day, Storm, Rogue and Jean were swimming in the pool together.

"I am so glad you gave her that idea to write her story down," Rogue said to Storm.

"I do hope it helps Marie," Storm said.

"Since she started writing, she hasn't come back to me to talk at all," Jean observed. "Has she come to any of you since?"

"No," Storm said.

"No." Rogue said. "Thank God!" She added.

"Rogue," Storm cautioned, a slight frown on her face.

"Well, shit, I can't take listening to any more from her. I mean, fuck it- we all suffered! So she was raped by 200 soldiers a day. I was raped by 100 a day. Is it a contest?"

"Actually, I think it averaged out to more like 75 a day," Storm said.

"You counted?" Jean asked, incredulously. "You guys counted?"

"Sure I counted!" Storm said. "There was nothing else to do!"

The three women laughed uproariously. "Listen to what we're laughing at!" Jean said, angry at herself and yet laughing at the same time. "What the devil are we laughing at?" She continued laughing and then said, "Was it really 75 a day? Is that even possible? Where's a calculator?"

"Sure it's possible," Storm said through her laughter. "Those guys didn't know a thing about foreplay!"

"When you say 75 a day, are we talkin' 75 * different* soldiers a day or getting raped 75 times a day? Cause some of those guys were goin' back for seconds," Rogue said, continuing to laugh. "And I really do think it was closer to 100 a day."

"I don't know how you two could possibly have kept track of that," Jean said, laughing as she spoke.

"Well, girl, you were out of it!" Rogue said to Jean. "I looked over at you a few times, and you were just * gone.*"

Such exchanges were not unlike the sort the women had during their healing ceremonies but the women were somehow more animated that day. The laughter continued until all three women were crying. Bobby and Beast had started to enter the pool room, swimming trunks and towels in hand, but as soon as they saw the situation, they did an about-face and swiftly left the room. The women noticed and that caused a whole new bout of laughter. Tears streamed down Rogue, Jean and Storm's faces.

"We're terrible. I can't believe we're laughing over this," Jean said, still giggling. "We wouldn't put up with this if the guys were laughing at it."

"Hell no!" Rogue said, laughing through her tears. "I'd beat the crap out of them if they laughed at this!"

When their laughter died down and each started to dry her tears, Rogue spoke again, "Okay, I gotta ask this question cause it's been on my mind lately," she began.

"Uh-oh, I'm almost worried," Storm said, smiling.

"Has your….have you two started feeling your normal desire again yet?" Rogue paused. "You know what I mean, right? Cause, c'mon, we all know our sex drives are –or were -hyper compared to normal women. So I was just wondering if your drives have returned yet?"

Storm and Jean looked at each other. "Rogue asked the question, so I think she should go first," Jean said to Storm, with a grin on her face.

Storm shrugged and gave a serious answer. "I don't mind answering. To be honest, it has returned and it's been back for a while now. A few weeks after the….the rapes, it still wasn't back and I thought maybe it was gone for good. But it gradually returned in full force. And I don't have my vibrator on this ship!"

The women laughed some more. Rogue and Storm turned to Jean. Jean hesitated. She worried that a completely honest answer would make the others jealous. Jean's powers over the years told her that most of the other X-men, and especially Rogue, were jealous of what she and Scott had. So few of the others experienced that kind of love in their lives. But Jean decided to answer with the truth. "My normal desire returned fairly soon after we were rescued. I don't think even a week had passed. I think it came on so soon because I don't separate my love for Scott from my desire for him. Not long after we were back in each other's arms, I wanted to be making love with him. I think even he was a bit surprised it was so soon. But what I experienced with the FOH, I don't consider that to even be remotely the same thing as what Scott and I do. Not even remotely."

Storm nodded, her face placid. She had always been sincerely glad for Jean and Scott that they had such a love in their lives. Rogue looked down and Jean once again detected the stab of jealousy that pinched Rogue.

"What about you, Rogue?" Storm asked.

"Well, I….here's the thing," Rogue began awkwardly. "Like you said, Storm, I thought mine wasn't ever going to return. But in the last few days now….I think it's starting up again."

"Rogue, that's wonderful!" Jean said.

Rogue knitted her brows at Jean. "Is it?"

"Yes," Jean said. "I mean, sexual pleasure is one of the great joys of being human. I am happy for you that the FOH weren't able to take it away from you."

"I don't know, Jean. The desire is slowly coming back but I'm not sure I like it. I'm not sure I want it. And please don't ask me to talk about Remy 'cause I'm not quite ready yet."

At one of their previous healing ceremonies, Jean had asked Rogue about her feelings for Gambit. Jean had not meant to pry, but she automatically sensed that Rogue had intense feelings whenever Gambit was in the room with her. She wanted to help the younger woman with it, but Rogue had not wanted to talk about it.

Jean nodded. "But if you ever do want to discuss it..."

Rogue shook her head, "Thanks, but I don't wanna right now." She paused. "Though maybe someday."

The three women eventually left the pool. As Rogue walked down the hall to the elevator, she passed Gambit as he headed for the gym. "Hey, there," Rogue said, a fetching smile on her face.

"Chere!" Gambit said, returning the smile. The last several weeks Rogue had either been ignoring him or muttering `hello' without looking at him when they ran into each other. Today she looked happy and held eye contact.

The two made small-talk for a few minutes before parting. Gambit's heart danced as he worked out that afternoon.

* * *

I thought it was strange. But what do I know? In the days that had passed since we rescued them, we hardly saw the three members of Alpha Flight.

"But remember what the Professor said," Hank said to me one day, when we had finished a training session on the bridge. "Shaman spends most of the day in his room praying and meditating by choice. It is what he needs to do to recover. His mind works best that way."

"I know," I said. "But what about Marie and Northstar?"

"They are extremely close. Remember, they're twins and they have hardly spent a day apart in their lives. If the two of them want to keep to themselves for now, maybe that is best." Hank paused. "I am encouraged that Northstar agreed to be released from sick bay. I had been concerned that he was spending too much time there without cause. His body has recovered from the mild malnutrition he had. I think the fact that he has released himself means he is on the road to getting better."

"I guess you're right,' I said. "I've seen Marie working away at one of the computers lately too. That's probably a good sign too, right?"

"I think so," Hank said. "Writing down one's feelings is an excellent form of therapy."

"Maybe soon they'll want to have dinner with the group," I said hopefully. I have to admit that I was excited. I'd never met another gay mutant and Northstar was out to everyone about being gay. I shared my excitement over this with Hank and he totally understood and even was a bit excited for me. Is Hank cool or what? He really gets it; I can confide in him just like I would one of my gay friends.

Later that day, I was working with Jubilee in our makeshift gardening room. I always had a hard time gauging how much she enjoyed the work. She went about doing it in a mechanical way, she didn't protest it but she didn't show many signs of having fun with it either. Of course she never seemed to have much fun at anything now.

The two of us were planting several different herbs. If it ever came to the point where we had nothing but these vegetables to subsist on, then they were going to tasty! FOH's supply room had contained packets of seeds for numerous different herbs.

"Hey, guess what, Jubilee,' I began enthusiastically. "I was in the Danger room earlier today with Gambit and Colossus. And I actually beat them both. Not at the same time, but first I played against Remy and then against Colossus and I won both times! I think they were as surprised as I was." We did not often play one against one; usually we trained on exercises that tested how we worked as a team. Still, this was the first time I had actually won going against one of the other X-men.

"That's nice, Bobby," she said, continuing to look down. Her voice was toneless as it usually was now.

"What about you?" I asked. "You ever think about training again?"

Jubilee shrugged. "Storm asked me to think about it."

"That's great. I hope you do consider it. I mean, you were one heck of a good X-man. We weren't together on the team for too long, but that's what everyone has said about you. They like working with you."

She continued to look down. "I'll think about it," she muttered, though I can't say her tone implied much interest in training again.

A few days later, Marie and Northstar did decide to join us for dinner. They were quiet and kept to themselves, but it was good to see their faces.

The next day, I saw them in the swimming pool which I took as another good sign. At dinner that evening, they joined us again and Marie did something unusual.

After the meal, we were sitting around chatting and munching our deserts which consisted of fruit and cookies. We talked for quite a while, the conversation having to do with the ship's course. There really were no changes on that front. No other ships or planets were in our range. Some people said they felt a touch claustrophobic being confined to this ship, but most said it felt cozy to them. (I also found it cozy.) Hank mentioned that he had looked up the name of the ship, and it was the Defender. None of us were crazy about the name and we casually kicked around ideas for a replacement name.

As we talked, Marie left the room and then returned carrying a huge stack of paper. She was visibly struggling when carrying such a stack of papers, and she set them down on the table as soon as she could. Our heads all turned her way. "Would you do me a favor?" she asked the group. Considering that she had barely said a monosyllable during either this dinner or the previous one, her speaking to the entire group was certainly out of the ordinary.

"It has been helping me a lot to write down what happened," she said through her thick French-Canadian accent. "So I printed up what I wrote and made copies for everyone. I would appreciate if you would read it. It's long though."

`Long' was kind of an understatement. The pages weren't numbered, so I can't say how many there were except to say that my copy was heavy, and she had typed and single-spaced the report. Marie passed out a copy of her report to each one of us.

When we each had our copy, she and Northstar abruptly said goodnight to each of us and left the room.

Now the mood around the table was awkward. Cyclops and Jean exchanged worried glances with each other, and with Storm and Rogue. None of the rest of us knew the details about how FOH had treated Alpha Flight. We assumed their experiences as prisoners of FOH must have been similar to ours. We knew that Marie had confided in Storm, Jean and Rogue, and obviously the three had not spoken to anyone-other than Jean telling Cyclops-about what Marie had said. I got worried just reading the looks on their faces.

Yet curiosity was clearly going to win out. In silence, people began glancing down at their reports and starting to read the first page.

"Jubilee," Storm began, "why don't you come with me? You look tired."

Wordlessly Jubilee rose and followed Storm out of sick bay. They left their copies of the report on the table.

Jean and Cyclops looked at each other. "Well, it's late," Cyke said. "See you all in the morning." He and Jean bid the group `goodnights' and left the room. They, too, didn't bring with them their copies of Marie's report.

Rogue sighed loudly. "If y'all want to read her report, just be ready, ok? It ain't pretty." With that, she said goodnight to the group and left.

After all these warnings, maybe we should have heeded them. But I must assume that the other five men sitting around the table were thinking what I was. After all we had suffered, how much could it hurt to read this? Could it truly be worse than what we survived? Besides, Marie asked us to read it and strongly implied it might continue to help her feel better. So each of us picked up his own copy and read through.

Oh. My. God. Marie did not spare us any details. Starting from when Alpha Flight was brought on board the FOH ship and not ending till the three were rescued, Marie gave a day-by-day report of the events that occurred on board the Destroyer. She described everything from what kind of insects Northstar was forced to ingest to the smell of burning flesh when the men were being tortured. She told us the pitch of Vindicator's screams when she was being raped. We learned that her male teammates would endure the suffering of having the collar used on themselves rather than commit rape, but when FOH used the collars on their female teammates, they were then forced to obey the order to rape. She described how she felt as she watched the first of her teammates tortured to death over a period of hours.

Several of us sitting around the table had to put down the report at times and just look away. But we all kept on reading it, I guess due to some sort of morbid fascination. But as I looked at their faces and everyone-even the Professor-looked as disgusted and fearful as I did.

"I need therapy," I said, placing my report on the table when I had read it all.

Wolverine smashed his claws into the table, creating a deep gash before stalking off. I would need to replicate a new table.

"We should hunt down the crew of the Destroyer and get dem," Gambit said.

"I agree," Colossus said. "They should suffer for this."

Hank rubbed his temples. "My heart breaks for the mutants back on earth. I feel sick when I think of what their fates might be."

Those were a few of the comments we made, but none of us much felt like talking that evening. What was there left to say? We all felt outraged and helpless.

Sleep did not come easily for me that night. I actually called Gambit on the communicator and wasn't surprised to find that he was wide awake too. I asked him if he wanted to play cards. We met in the hall and proceeded to sick bay where we played for a couple hours. We each poured ourselves a drink. I was a bit fearful, remembering what had happened last time Remy and I drank and played cards at night. But there was nothing to worry about. Rogue actually joined us-she went to the infirmary to get something to eat (the food replicator was still kept in there) and was surprised to find us there. She joined us for a while, having herself a drink too. As the three of us played, we talked a bit too.

"I hate the FOH," Gambit said. "Sometimes now I think maybe Magneto was right."

"I hate being homeless," Rogue said. "Cause we can never go back to earth, or not unless it somehow miraculously gets better. So we're castaways."

"But we've always been castaways," I said. "At least we're free of FOH on this ship. At least we all have each other."

After I said that, Rogue and Gambit exchanged a look. Usually when I observed her interactions with him, she either didn't make eye contact or gave him an angry or blank look. She actually had a kind look on her face, maybe even an appreciative one that night.

We played cards until we were too tired that night, and then each returned to our own rooms.

* * *

The X-men monitored the area of space near the Acid Planet, even though they had now put a fair amount of distance between their ship and the planet. Three large FOH starships had traveled to the Acid Planet and now maintained continuous orbit around it. The X-men were too far away to detect whether anyone was being transported to the surface, but their sensors did tell them that the three vessels patrolling the planet were extremely large and powerful, with weaponry far surpassing their own. They discussed the situation with each other and had to admit that they had no chance to rescue any mutants that FOH might be taking to the planet. It clearly was a trap, and they had to stay away, as much as many of them disliked the idea. Words from Marie's harrowing report echoed in all of their minds.

The members of Alpha Flight became only slightly less reclusive as they days passed. Northstar and Jeanne Marie generally kept to themselves, quietly conversing in French with each other during dinner. They were polite with the X-men but distant.

The X-men learned something interesting: each of the three members of Alpha Flight had a non-mutant spouse back on earth. Marie had a husband and a 5 year old son, Northstar had a long term boyfriend, and Shaman had a wife and 9 year old daughter. Sadly, none of them knew whether their family was still alive. When Alpha Flight had been disowned by the Canadian government, they had gone undercover. Their families had come with them. In the confusion and panic of the FOH attack, none of them knew what had become of their spouses and children. Had they been killed during the battle, or was there a chance that FOH had left them alive once they had what they wanted? All during their captivity, the FOH guards never said. At first, Marie, Northstar and Shaman were so numb that they had brushed aside thoughts of their families. But as the days passed, they felt mental agony, not knowing the fate of their loved ones.

Shaman had ended his seclusion, and now he joined the X-men for dinner as well. He didn't speak much, and it was a surprise when he addressed the group during dinner one evening.

"I would like to make a suggestion," Shaman said. "All of us have suffered a great deal. I know my teammates in Alpha Flight and I still need to deal with the fact that the rest of our group has been killed. We need to deal with the torture we experienced, and the anguish we feel over not knowing where our loved ones are." Given that Shaman had hardly spoken two words to the X-men since setting foot on board the ship, this practically constituted a speech for him.

"Therefore," he continued, "I would like to conduct a healing ceremony."

Storm and the other women exchanged looks with each other, finding it interesting that Shaman had used the term they always used. The four continued to meet semi-regularly.

"I had originally thought the ceremony should be for Marie, Northstar and myself," Shaman said. "But I understand that you X-men have also lost teammates. And you have all suffered too. I would like to invite you to participate in the ceremony. Would you like to?"

The X-men looked around the table at each other. "I personally think it is a good idea," the Professor said. "We have not yet done anything formal to say goodbye to our X-men who were killed. Nor have we dealt with, as a team, the torture we experienced." He paused, "What does everyone else think?"

Most of the rest of the X-men said they agreed with the Professor. Those who didn't speak up nodded and indicated they would go along with it.

Shaman went on to explain that he had experience with facilitating such ceremonies. Alpha Flight had lost a member years ago, and Shaman had led the memorial/healing ceremony back then. He also said that he had not ever before worked with victims of the specific kinds of torture we suffered, but he said he felt his training in emotional healing would render him a good facilitator for that as well.

"I am glad that you would like to participate," Shaman said to the group. "I will need a few days to prepare myself. Also, I could use some help from you, Bobby, in replicating a few supplies."

Iceman nodded. Shaman looked forward to preparing.

Beast sat in the lab section of the infirmary the next day. He thought he might be on the verge of a major breakthrough regarding the collars. His fingers moved rapidly, brain buzzing. If this was successful, this could be incredibly wonderful for mutants. Beast enjoyed the challenging work. It kept his mind off of some of the unsettling thoughts that occasionally swan around his brain since he had read Marie's report.

His ears perked up as he heard the door slide open. Storm and Jubilee entered sick bay. Beast looked up at his teammates.

"Hello, ladies," he said.

"Good afternoon, Hank," Storm said. Jubilee nodded at him. Concern flashed across Beast's face as he noted that Jubilee looked more downcast than usual. Storm had a serious look in her eyes.

"Can we talk with you in private?" Storm asked.

There was no one else in sick bay, though anyone could walk in at any time as it was their center of activities. "Certainly," Beast said. "There is a meeting room down the hall."

The three entered the spacious meeting room. The X-men rarely used it, as they tended to meet over dinner, around the circular table in sick bay. The meeting room contained a long, rectangular table. Storm sat at the head of the table, with Beast and Jubilee on either side of her.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Beast asked gently.

Storm and Jubilee exchanged a quick glance. Jubilee looked down at the table. Storm spoke, "Jubilee is pregnant."

Beast restrained a gasp. Despite his professional and clinical background, he was taken aback and he felt sorry for the young woman. After all she had survived, and now this. He tried to look composed. "Are you certain?"

"Yes," Storm said. "We waited until we knew for sure before telling you. At this point, we are certain beyond a doubt." Storm paused. "Hank, your assistance is going to be needed at the birth. I know you do not have any experience with childbirth, though."

"I would be glad to learn all that I can," Beast offered. "As you know, the ship's computers have a wealth of information accessible." He paused, "Of course, they are no substitute for having done the procedure itself."

"I know," Storm said. "But we are confident in you. I, too, would like to learn with you. In the village where I grew up, babies were routinely delivered by mothers and aunts. Occasionally there was a midwife available, but not always. I was witness to quite a few births and would be glad to assist however necessary."

"That would be wonderful," Beast said. "I will also research information about prenatal care, if you would like."

Jubilee nodded. "I suppose anything on the topic of babies is going to be useful," Storm said.

Beast was happy to have another important mission, even though he was slightly fearful as well. He reminded himself that new challenges were often a bit scary but usually beneficial. He reminded himself of all the seemingly impossible tasks he had taken on and knew that he could do this too.

"May I ask a question," Beast began softly. This would be a delicate matter, but it had to be asked. "This might be none of my business, but did you consider aborting the pregnancy?" Beast went on, "I cannot say I am comfortable with the idea of abortion in general. However, given the circumstances….." his voice trailed off.

Jubilee looked up. "We did talk about it," she said. "We've been talking and thinking about options for a while." Jubilee drew in a breath. "I decided I am going to have this baby. It shouldn't suffer for what its father did." It was a rarity for Jubilee to speak so many sentences; Beast had not heard her do so since prior to their capture.

Storm's features remained expressionless. During the last several days, she had struggled to provide loving guidance to Jubilee without influencing her one way or the other. Storm thought that Jubilee should abort. She was concerned about the young woman's mental state if forced to bear the child of a rapist. Jubilee had seriously considered the idea, but in the end decided she wanted to have the baby.

Beast nodded. "If you do change your mind, please let me know."

Jubilee nodded. Storm added, "Jubilee seems pretty firm with me that she does want to have this baby. But if she does change her mind…..would you be willing to perform the procedure?"

Beast folded his hands in front of him. "Yes, for you I would. As I said, I'm not comfortable with abortion in general, but given the circumstances, if you do change your mind, I will perform the procedure. Of course….please do keep in mind that abortion should be performed as early during a pregnancy as possible, and that I would need time to learn how to do it."

Jubilee nodded again. "Thank you, Hank," she said. "I will let you know if I change my mind, but I feel fairly certain about this. I have had several days to think about it."

"I assume that I should keep this a secret," Beast said.

"Yeah," Jubilee said. "I know I have to tell everyone sometime, but I don't want to just yet. I will though."

Before they left the meeting room, Beast was taken aback once more when Jubilee got up and hugged him. "Thank you for everything, Hank."

Beast returned the hug. "Thank you for entrusting this to me. I will do the best I can."

Storm hugged Beast too. Jubilee then went to Storm and hugged her again, as she had many times during the past few days. "I love you, Storm. I don't know what I would do without you."

Storm returned the hug, "I love you too, Jubilee."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Two days after Shaman proposed the idea of a healing ceremony, the 11 of us X-men and the 3 members of Alpha Flight went together to the meeting room after dinner. We hardly ever used it, but Shaman said he wanted a room that was large enough to hold all of us comfortably but more enclosed than the huge gym. The large rectangular table was removed from the conference room to give us the needed space.

I was a touch nervous, not knowing what to expect, but somehow the mysterious Shaman instantly put us at ease. The room was darkened, but lit with myriad candles. He was burning something but it had a pleasant smell. Shaman asked us to sit in a circle on the floor, and he passed a drink around to us, asking everyone to take a sip from it. I'm not sure what was in that drink but it somehow loosened us all up. I sensed that some of my teammates, perhaps those such as Wolverine and Rogue, may have been totally rolling their eyes and thinking this was going to be lame, but after we each had a sip of the drink, you could feel the mood lighten. I felt mellowed out. It sounds weird, but I felt that my mind like expanded, and I think the others got that effect too.

I liked the effect of the candles, too. You could see well enough so that you wouldn't fall over someone, but the darkness and shadows the candlelight cast were somehow comforting, like a gentle blanket was placed over us.

The first part of the ceremony we spent saying goodbye to our dead. This was very touching and went very well. Shaman said a prayer for those who have gone on to the other side. He asked us to take turns saying aloud names of our comrades who have passed away, and to talk a little about what each one had meant to us. We spent a long time on this. I hadn't known any of these people well but I felt profoundly sad that they gone. Nightcrawler….Shadowcat…..Eric Magnus Lensherr…Thunderbird…Morph….Guardian….Vindicator, and on and on. Even though you could hear sniffles from some of us sitting around the circle, it also felt good to acknowledge each and every one of them and how important they had been. Several different X-men spoke during this section and the Professor contributed to what was said about each mutant, adding an insight into something unique and wonderful about each. He even told us things about Magneto that surprised me.

When we were done naming our friends who had passed away, Shaman said another prayer, which wished them peace and asked them to bless us and help guide us. I was very moved, and I guess everyone was.

Shaman then led us into the second part of the healing ceremony. He started out by saying that throughout much of history, groups of people have been oppressed because they were different. I don't remember all exactly what he said except the basic concept was that it was dehumanizing and made the people being oppressed experience a wide range of emotions. He then said that all of us in this room have survived physical and emotional torture, and we were forced to experience that because some people had trouble with our difference.

I wish I could remember his exact words, but it was kinda cool how he tied it in, because he said something to the effect that we are bound to have all sorts of different emotions over what happened to us, and emotions are not right or wrong, they simply are. Something like that. He then asked if anyone would like to talk about their own emotions.

After he had said that, I had thought that no one would want to be the first to speak, and people might be tight-lipped. But I was totally wrong. We had great discussion. Rogue spoke first, about being furious as hell for being made into an object. Several others echoed what she said. There was a lot of talk around this.

Storm bravely brought up something that I would never have thought she would feel. Shame. She said she knew that it was not logical to feel shame about being raped, and yet she felt it. Cyclops spoke next and said he felt a tremendous amount of shame that he was unable to prevent the rapes from happening, even though logically he knew there was nothing he could have done. Just about all the other men then said words to that effect.

I said that I felt immensely sad that people could be so cruel. I said I know what Shaman had said was true, and there have been many, many groups of people who were brutalized throughout history. "We're not the only people who have been treated like dirt because of our difference, but I still feel really sad when I think of how mean human beings can be to other human beings." A lot of the others then tagged onto that theme.

Fear was another emotion people said they felt. Hank said he was not prone to worry, but he felt tremendous anxiety for the mutants back on earth. Again, others voiced agreement, many saying they were angry and frustrated that we could not help anytime soon.

What other comments were made? I wish I could remember it all. Jean said she felt very touched at how supportive and caring all the men on the team had been. Jubilee began to cry softly at that point. She let Wolverine give her a hug and said she was crying because she agreed with Jean. I looked over at them, glad to see Jubilee accepting Wolverine's hug and moved by the look of tenderness he had.

We continued for quite some time. When the ceremony was over, I was surprised at what hour it was, but during the ceremony it did not feel long at all. When Shaman said he was getting ready to close the ceremony, the Professor asked if he could say a few words. The Professor talked about how brave and strong all of us were, and said he felt confident that the bonds we all shared would help us heal. We ended by holding hands and Shaman saying a brief prayer. Afterwards, everyone was hugging and kissing each other. I exchanged hugs with everyone in that room. Even Wolverine was doing this. It was incredible. Never, ever in my life had I felt such love and support.

So basically, it went great. Despite all the horrors we had lived through, I actually went to bed on cloud 9.

* * *

Only a few days after the healing ceremony, the members of Alpha Flight had a shocking announcement to make during dinner.

"We cannot thank you enough for rescuing us and taking us in," Northstar said through his thick accent. "We must ask another favor of you. Can we take one of your shuttles?"

Surprised looks were exchanged around the table as Northstar continued, "Marie, Shaman and I would like to return to earth."

"Return to earth?" Wolverine repeated. "Are you nuts?"

Shaman smiled. "Each of us has a very important reason for wanting to go back. We each have family there."

Jeanne Marie spoke, "I have a husband and a son. They mean more to me than anyone in the world, along with my brother, of course. Shaman has a wife and daughter, and Northstar's soulmate Phillippe is also back on earth."

"We have to go back," Northstar said. "We feel mentally much better since being healed. Now that we do feel healed, all any of us think about are our families."

"It is difficult for me to wake up every morning not knowing whether my wife and daughter are alive or not," Shaman said. "If they are dead, then I need to achieve some closure. But I must know one way or the other."

Beast spoke, "Surely we all understand why you feel the way you do and we empathize with you. But how do you intend to get to earth? The FOH ships can certainly detect one of their own shuttles. Your risk of getting captured again is enormous."

The three members of Alpha Flight looked at each other. "This is where we ask your help again," Northstar said. "If the shuttle could be cloaked, we could return to earth undetected. Then we can search for our families."

Cyclops shook his head. "Even if you do make it to earth undetected and in one piece, what's to stop FOH from finding you again on earth? They found you the first time."

Northstar shrugged. "We don't know. You are both correct, you know. We could get captured again either in space or on earth. But we discussed this with each other and we are either going to find our families or die trying."

Marie continued, "We plan to carry cyanide pills with us. If it gets to the point that capture is inevitable, we will take them. We would rather die than have FOH take us alive again. But we also would all rather die than not know the whereabouts of our families."

Northstar added, "We can stay here indefinitely with you, and we really do appreciate your hospitality. But our lives will be miserable without our families. Our lives would have no meaning. That is why we will either find our loved ones, or die trying."

Cyclops was prepared to argue with them more, but Jean cut him off. "I understand completely," she said. "If I were separated from Scott and didn't know whether he was alive or dead, I also would commit to trying to find him, even if my own life was placed on the line. I wouldn't think twice about it." She was even surprised they had waited so many days to announce their desire to leave.

Shaman nodded. "Life is not worth living without our soulmates and our children."

Several of the X-men exchanged looks. The Professor spoke, "I see that you are all resolute and we cannot change your minds. How can we help you?"

The X-men spent the next few days helping Alpha Flight with their preparations. They outfitted one of their three shuttles with a cloaking device, and stocked it with supplies. They beefed up its defenses.

Using warp drive, the X-men took their cloaked ship as close to earth as they dared. The 14 mutants assembled in the shuttle bay, the X-men seeing the Alpha Flight members off.

"We wish you luck," the Professor said. "I hope you will be successful and I hope that you will find your families."

"Shaman, thank you again for the healing ceremony," Jean said. "Everyone thought it was wonderful."

Alpha Flight again thanked the X-men for the rescue. "I do hope someday we will be in touch again, and that we will have good news to share," Northstar said.

After exchanging goodbyes, the trio departed in the shuttle. The X-men steered their ship back away from earth. They wanted to monitor the shuttle's progress, but the more distance that was put between the two vessels, the harder this became, especially due to the shuttle's small size. They could only hope that Alpha Flight would be successful.

"They're crazy," Wolverine said, standing in the shuttle bay after Alpha Flight left. Most of the rest of the team had filed out of the bay. "They're not gonna make it."

Beast said, "I do think their chances of being successful are slim to none."

"I dunno," Rogue said. "They might be crazy but….but it makes sense, why they're doing it."

Gambit was standing next to Rogue. "I agree, chere," he said, turning and facing her. "If you were missing, I would go to the ends of the galaxy to find you." He hadn't cared that there were other people standing in the room with them. He had sensed from Rogue's manner the last few days that she was starting to thaw, and he'd also seen her comment as encouraging.

Rogue reached for and grasped Gambit's hands in her own, her ever-present gloves protecting Gambit from her skin. She looked deep into his eyes and was taken aback by the depth of the love she felt from him. He slowly brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. He used to do this a lot and she had grown to really savor this kind of touch. Rogue's heart welled up with all sorts of sensations, some of them unsettling but most pleasant. This was the first physical contact they had had since that awful first night in the cell. She broke off the touch and gently poked Gambit in the stomach.

"Bet I can beat ya in the Danger Room, Swamp Rat!" she said, stepping back.

Gambit smiled. "Bet you can't, chere."

The two scampered off to the Danger Room where they spent hours working out. Gambit couldn't resist smiling, even though Rogue defeated him twice. What Bobby had been telling him may have been true; maybe just being patient would work. Her mood was definitely improved. He was elated she had let him kiss her hands. Gambit was smart enough to know, however, that he shouldn't push it anymore that day. He went to sleep that night a very happy man.

* * *

"I can't believe Alpha Flight is gone already. It's like they popped in here one day and leave-what?-two weeks later." I was working with Jubilee, showing her how to program the replicator. Alpha Flight had departed only yesterday.

Jubilee nodded. When conversing with Jubilee, receiving a nod was a normal response, so I went on. "I am a bit bummed about it. I never even got to know Northstar. I've always wanted to meet another gay mutant. It's pretty rare you run into someone else who's both a mutant and gay. It's like a big deal. He's the first one I have ever met. It's like, if you were to meet another Asian mutant, you'd think that was cool, right?"

"Yes," she said. "I met one on Genosha. And there was Psylocke."

"So you understand. Though there are a lot more Asians than gay people, but still And it's not like I wanted to sleep with Northstar or anything like that." I silently added that I sure wouldn't have *minded*, given that I have gone WAY too long without sex. "I guess he and this Phillippe guy are pretty serious if he's using the term soulmate.' But I did want to at least *talk* to the guy. That whole first week he was just unapproachable. I tried a few times later on to say hi and start up a conversation, but he wasn't interested."

"You shouldn't be surprised. After all he went through. Besides, maybe he doesn't know * you're* gay."

"I never thought of that," I said, the paused. "It's just that this was like a once in a lifetime chance. I have always felt so isolated being both a mutant and gay."

I didn't expect Jubilee to offer further encouragement or support, and she didn't. After all *she's* been through, I wouldn't anticipate that she'd be in a position to encourage. But Jubilee was a good listener, and I needed to spout off so that's why I picked her.

I hadn't expected her to drop a bomb on me though. After we turned our attention back to programming the replicator for a minute, she turned to me and said out of the blue, "I'm pregnant."

At first I thought that I had surely misheard her. "What?" I blurted out.

"I'm pregnant, Bobby," she said slowly and clearly. "One of the soldiers who raped me got me pregnant."

My jaw dropped open and my face paled. I guess it was stupid of me to not consider that this could happen, but I honestly had never even thought of it.

"Um….are you sure? I mean, are you sure you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Oh." This was just about all I could think to say. "What about Storm, Jean and Rogue?" Okay, this was a really stupid thing to ask but it was what popped into my head.

"They're not pregnant. Unless they haven't told me. I haven't told Jean or Rogue yet. You're the third person I told."

"Really? I'm honored. I really am. Um-so who does know?"

"I told Storm and Beast. Beast said he will help me have the baby."

"You mean, like he'll deliver it for you?"

She nodded.

I still was stunned. "You know, Jubilee maybe Hank will perform an abortion on you. I mean, he hasn't done it before but he is a brilliant doctor. I'm sure he could learn and-"

"I don't want an abortion. I'm going to have this baby."

She sounded pretty resolute. I was groping for things to say that would be supportive. She seemed like she wasn't at all uncomfortable discussing this with me. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" I asked.

She looked down and was quiet. Then she smiled. "Teach me how to replicate maternity clothes."

I was beyond shocked, both to see Jubilee smile and even make a joke about this as well as at the news of her pregnancy. I struggled for something else to say, but what do you say? `Congratulations' sure didn't seem appropriate, but neither did `I'm sorry.'

"Well, is there anything else I can do to help?" I asked.

"Once the baby is here, you could help me with it. Babysit and stuff."

"I would be glad to," I said. "Just don't ask me to change any dirty diapers," I said with a smile. She returned my smile.

"Jubilee," I began, moving a little closer to her and placing my hand on her shoulder, "how do you feel about this?" We all had had such a good discussion around emotions during our healing ceremony that I got the idea to ask her what she felt about this. Because from her expression and tone, I couldn't really tell. I knew what I might feel, though and none of it was good.

Jubilee looked down again. "I'm not happy about it. But I've been talking to Storm for a while. And like Shaman said. Throughout history, bad things have been done to people who were different. This is a result of that. I am not the first person in history to have to….experience something like this."

"What else do you feel?" I asked, after she had paused.

"I'm a little scared. But part of me really, really wants this baby. I'm not sure why. Even after having long discussions with Storm about it, I'm not totally sure why. I just know that I want to have this baby. I believe things happen for a reason and maybe there's a reason for this."

I bit my tongue and refrained from saying what I felt. Maybe things do happen for a reason. But as far as I can see, the reason for this occurrence had to do with hatred, bigotry, misogyny…and a host of other really awful things.

* * *

Iceman had asked Jubilee when she planned to tell the rest of the team, and she answered that she knew she ought to do it soon. Storm had advised her to do so, and Jubilee agreed. Given that they lived in such close quarters with each other, the X-men just found out things about each other without even trying. For example, everyone knew that Gambit had been heartbroken over Rogue's rebuffing him, and that the couple was now starting to get along a little better. Everyone knew Wolverine was getting bored and restless. And a couple of the other X-men had already noticed that Jubilee skipped breakfast occasionally, something she never had done at the mansion, and that once or twice Jubilee was seen looking visibly ill in the morning. It was hard to not know other people's business when you lived, worked, played, and ate with the same 10 people every day.

Therefore, Jubilee decided to break her news to the rest of the team during dinner on the very same day she told Bobby. The young woman knew there would be no easy way to say the words. Once everyone was seated and started passing food, she started to feel nervous. Storm was sitting next to her and gently squeezed her hand. Jubilee forced herself to breathe normally and silently asked herself why she felt anxiety. Compared to everything she had survived, this was nothing. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. The word that Storm had brought up during the group healing ceremony echoed in her mind: *shame.* But the team had talked through it. No one was to feel any shame for what had happened with the FOH. There was nothing anyone could have done. No one regarded her as the "slut" that the soldiers loved to call the women. 'These people are my family,' Jubilee reminded herself. 'I can do this.'

As soon as the conversation came to a lull, Jubilee spoke. "Hey, everyone I have something to tell you." She paused. Her teammates all looked at her, several of them alerted to the serious tone of her voice and the fact that she really had never addressed the group like this. "I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby."

Forks were placed back down on plates and eyes widened. Jean quickly glanced at the rest of the X-men. Most, it seemed, were very surprised though she sensed that at least a few already knew. Jean had suspected that Jubilee might be pregnant. Jean herself had never in her life been so happy to get her period as she had been after the assaults. The soldiers had been instructed by their leader to use condoms, but they did not do so every time and Jean had feared getting pregnant from the rapes.

The group was quiet, as no one knew what to say. Storm glanced at Jubilee and received a nod. Storm spoke, "Jubilee and I have been discussing for some time what to do. She has decided to carry the pregnancy to term. Beast has agreed to do whatever he can to assist with the delivery."

Questions swam through various peoples' heads but none of them were appropriate to ask in this setting. Jubilee looked at the concern on her teammates' faces and felt a desire to say something. "It's ok," she said. "I want to have the baby. It will be ok. We'll have a little baby X-man to raise."

There was something odd about Jubilee reassuring her older teammates. Jean smiled, "The child will certainly have a lot of adoring Uncles and Aunts," she said, looking around the table. Jubilee returned her smile, and Jean continued, "Jubilee, if there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know."

Jean's offer was echoed around the table. Jubilee smiled again and said, "You all better be careful what you offer because I know once the baby comes, I am going to need your help."

"You will have it," the Professor said, speaking for the group. Despite all the reasons to regard it as bad news, part of him was happy about this too. None of his X-men had ever had a child during their time as X-men. He would be a grandfather, so to speak. The idea greatly appealed to him, as did the idea of the group working together to raise a child.

Jubilee felt warmth from the rest of the X-men and she felt inspiration to speak up from Shaman's ceremony. She said, "I know some of you might be thinking that this is a sad thing and all. I mean, I didn't choose for this to happen. I'm not like totally happy about it either. But I think it will be ok." She paused, feeling strength to go on. "I mean, who cares who the father was or what he did? We'll raise the baby like an X-man."

Cyclops said, "I do believe that family is what you make it. We are each other's family and the baby will be part of the family."

Jubilee nodded. "You guys are the only family I have had since I was 14. And…." She lost her trail of thought so she added, "and I dearly hope the baby will be a mutant. I like the idea of going against the stupid Mutant Sterilization Act too!"

The group was heartened to hear that Jubilee sounded more like her old self than she ever had. They then launched into a discussion of the likelihood of the child being a mutant. Mutant characteristics rarely manifested themselves before puberty, only a few known mutants had children and none had yet reached puberty. Shaman's daughter and Marie's son had years to go before puberty. None had yet exhibited mutant characteristics yet, but that was to be expected until they reached puberty. Not many other known mutants had children. Magneto had had a daughter who had been killed at a very young age. No one, of course, knew whether the child would have been a mutant or not.

During the discussion, Jean looked in Wolverine's direction. The emotion she felt coming off him in waves, prevalent and strong, was rage. She made a note to talk to him after dinner.

The group then discussed what sort of preparations would be needed and supplies they would have to replicate for Jubilee and the baby. Beast spoke about the incredible amount of information he had found on childbirth. He sounded confident that he would be ready to deliver the baby when the time came. Storm and Jubilee had done some of the research with Beast and enjoyed learning about it too.

When dinner was over, Jean followed Wolverine down the hall and caught up with him just outside of the gym. "Wolverine, wait," she called to him. He stopped, turned and faced her.

"What is it, Jean?" he asked. He was not attempting to hide that he was upset, though he always took a softer tone of voice when Jean spoke to him.

"I don't usually enter people's minds without their consent," Jean began, "but I sensed such a strong emotion coming from you that I couldn't help but to detect it."

Inwardly, Wolverine snorted. If that was the case, then surely Jean had felt every day for the past 10 years the intense love he had for her. But then again, maybe she had just grown accustomed to it. Maybe she no longer sensed his love, as if it were simply a picture you passed in the hall so many times that you no longer saw it. But Wolverine had a small consolation. Several times over the years he had only to walk near her and he could smell that she was attracted to him. Her natural scent clearly revealed that, and it couldn't lie or mask itself even though she remained faithful to her husband.

But this evening Wolverine had no desire to dwell on this subject. He made a fist and smashed it into the wall. "I am angry. I'm damn angry! We didn't punish those bastards enough when we killed them. After all they put you and the others through, and now this."

"You mean Jubilee's pregnancy?" Jean asked softly.

"Of course that's what I mean! Goddamn them. I hope they are all rotting in hell, if there is such a place 'cause that's where they belong."

Jean nodded. "I feel angry too. We're all angry over what happened. But the fact is that Jubilee is pregnant. There's no changing what happened to us and there's no changing the fact that she will have a baby."

Wolverine clenched his fists and grunted. "I know that. But Jubilee…she's just a kid. She's like my little sister. Now she's gonna have a baby and we gotta be reminded of those fucking bastards and how they hurt her."

Jean looked at Wolverine's face. "I actually don't agree with you on that. Jubilee said at dinner that she agreed family is what you make it, and that the child will be part of our family here. The baby isn't going to prevent us from moving on with our lives."

Wolverine forced himself to take a deep breath. "I hope you're right. Cause goddamn it this makes me so angry. Every time I see the baby I am going to be reminded of-" His voice broke off, the look on his face pure anguish. He turned away from Jean, leaned against the wall and looked down.

"Of what?" Jean asked gently.

"I'm gonna be reminded that I failed to protect her," he said at last, his tone indicating self-disgust. "I failed to protect her, and I failed to protect you, and Storm and Rogue."

Jean stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Wolverine, there was nothing you or any of the others could have done," she said firmly. "Remember what we talked about with Shaman? None of us are guilty, none of us need to feel shame about this. We didn't do anything wrong. I don't feel any shame about what happened and you shouldn't either."

Wolverine turned and looked into Jean's eyes. "I know that in my head. But…" his voice trailed off.

"But you have trouble really believing it in your heart," she said for him. Wolverine nodded. "I understand. That might take more time. We will get through this," Jean continued. "We're all managing to get through it and survive. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe when you see the baby you'll come to love it, like your own niece or nephew."

Wolverine was quiet for a moment. "Jean," he began speaking in a low voice, "those were the worst days of my life. When we were in that cell and you were being assaulted. I would have gone through Weapon X again rather than you suffer. Hell, I would have gone through Weapon X ten times rather than you go through what you did."

"I know, Wolverine. I-" Both looked up as Jean's mind and Wolverine's senses picked up on Cyclops approaching. Instinctively, Jean removed her hand from Wolverine's shoulder and stepped back.

"There you are," Cyclops said to his wife as he made his way down the hall. "I was just wondering where you had gone off to."

"Wolverine and I were having a discussion," Jean said. Scott sensed he had erred in going after her.

"Oh…um, I'm sorry to have interrupted. If you need me, I'll be on the bridge."

Wolverine made a face as Cyclops turned and headed back down the hall. `Looks like old Cyke gets jealous seeing me and his wife go off together after dinner,' he mused.

Jean turned back to face Wolverine when Cyclops had walked back down the hall. The mood of intimacy they had created was disrupted, but Jean had more to say. "Wolverine, I know what you said is true. And I really am touched by it."

Wolverine nodded, the feeling of envy now replacing the anger he had felt earlier. Yeah, Jean would be touched by his caring for her but that evening she would go back to her room and make love with Scott. Wolverine's senses told him that the couple had been going at it like rabbits lately. He knew that mutant women tended to have higher sex drives than non-mutants, and he also knew his healing factor rendered him uniquely equipped to satisfy. What he wouldn't give to be the one with the honor of satisfying Jean. He took a deep breath, knowing he needed to do something to get rid of the knife twisting his heart.

"Yeah, well anyway I gotta go work out now," Wolverine said. "Wanna take a turn in the Danger Room with me?"

"No, thanks," Jean said. "I guess I'd better get to the bridge now." She paused. "Logan, if you want to talk more, you know feel free to come to me any day. It might be better than going off by yourseIf."

He nodded and watched her turn and walk down the hall. He then entered the Danger Room, setting it to one of the most difficult levels.

* * *

Wolverine was right; that evening Jean and Scott made love.

They weren't using any birth control. They had always used birth control in the past, and the ship they were onboard now had massive supplies of condoms, but Scott and Jean had elected not to use them. They wanted a baby of their own. They had waited years and years, delaying starting a family until life got better for mutants, until they didn't have to keep fighting for their lives almost every day. But now they had reached the realization that there was no point in waiting any longer. If they waited for those things to happen, they would probably never be parents. Besides, both were now approaching their late-thirties - the proverbial biological clock was ticking.

They used a technique that night that they both occasionally enjoyed, especially Scott. After foreplay, both were fully aroused, ready for him to enter her. Jean lay on her back, her legs spread. Scott slowly entered his beautiful wife, and then slowed down even more. He concentrated, he felt her concentrating. Just slowing down expanded every moment, every sensation. Slowly, slowly he pushed forward a tiny amount.

In one ear, he heard a deep groan. Jean lifted her legs backwards, inviting him but he resisted the temptation in an impossible way. It was almost like a man who jumped off a diving board and then, through force of will, lowered himself inch by inch into the pool. Jean groaned again, her desire as irresistible as gravity, but Scott was capable of resisting it. Then he moved forward again, forward and down. Though they both wanted it more than anything, the slowness made their desire increase even more. Every perception they felt was magnified.

Jean reached around and cupped his buttocks in her hands, pressing. He continued to move down and forward, at an agonizingly slow pace. After what felt like an eternity, they began to thrust together. At first Scott thrust quickly, then more slowly, and then quickly again. He wondered why he had ever put this off, it was so perfect a motion, so what his whole body had wanted to do all along. Jean cried out with her first orgasm. Scott's next mental and physical challenge would be to hold off and stay inside her as long as she wanted, to give her as many orgasms as she wanted. He loved this kind of challenge.

* * *

A few days later, the group assembled for dinner. Colossus had some news about their ship's course.

"In one week or so, we will enter new solar system if we stay on present course," Colossus said. "There are many, many different planets in this system."

"That's great news!" Jean said. "It means we have more chances to find a planet that has dilithium, right?"

Storm and several others nodded. "That's correct," Storm said. "Bless the equipment on this ship. All we need to do is enter a planet's orbit and the sensors can detect whether the planet contains a substance that can be converted into dilithium." Dilithium was their lifeline now. Although they had a couple year's worth of supplies, the X-men were very aware of the fact that the chances of them being able to return to earth in a couple years were looking grim at this point. Using the cloaking device constantly was the biggest drain on their dilithium supplies, and they absolutely had to be able to replenish their supplies.

"I am eager at the chance to increase our ship's supplies," Beast said, "though I also regret that we are continuing to move away from earth."

"It doesn't look like we have much choice," Cyclops said.

"True," Beast said. "But I enjoyed staying abreast of news events on earth, and we are so far out of range now."

"I miss news of earth too, Beast," the Professor said. "Perhaps after we scan the planets in this solar system, if we find more dilithium, we can head back towards earth for a while. Just close enough to get us within range to pick up reports."

The group agreed that this sounded like a good idea.

Wolverine began, "I hope we find a planet that we can visit for a while. I miss the outdoors and fresh air." As Iceman glanced at Wolverine, he mused that "wistful" wasn't an adjective he'd use to describe the Canadian, but Wolverine really did look like he seriously missed the outdoors.

Several others nodded and echoed his sentiments, remembering out loud things like sunshine and a fresh breeze. "We do need to be careful, though," the Professor warned. "We can only beam down to a planet that is uninhabited. Otherwise we might be interfering with the natural development of a people."

"I have a question for the group," Beast began. "Let us suppose we are fortunate and we are able to increase our ship's supplies. As I said earlier, I look forward to receiving news of earth. But….what then? What will we do next?"

Iceman added on, "I have been thinking about this myself. I guess the question is: what is our long-term goal or mission?"

Storm shrugged. "We have not yet defined that. Maybe we should discuss this question now."

Cyclops took a breath, "Well, our short-term mission, at this point, is to increase our supply of dilithium and stay away from earth. As long as FOH has so much power on earth and we're all wanted dead or alive by FOH, we can't return to earth."

"Unless we want to live underground, always on the run," Jean added.

"I would like," Rogue began, "our long term mission to have something to do with rescuing other mutants. I got no idea how to do that."

"I had hoped that we might be able to monitor Acid Planet and continue to help mutants from there," Colossus said. "But ever since Friends of Humanity station three big starships there, we can't do this. Any tries at rescuing we would make would only get us captured again."

"Beside," Cyclops said, "we don't know if FOH is even continuing to execute mutants on that planet."

Gambit shook his head, "I always wonder bout dat. If you wanted to give someone a very painful death, there are plenty of ways to do it without taking the time and expense to go halfway across the galaxy."

"I hypothesize that FOH's plan all along might only have been to execute the more powerful mutants there," Beast said. "Such as Magneto and his group, Alpha Flight and us. After all, they killed all the Morlocks they encountered during the battle at the mansion. I do remember the guards a few times telling us they wanted to give us a special send-off, since we were `so mighty and powerful.' But perhaps less well-known, less powerful mutants they are killing using other, less expensive and time-consuming means."

Wolverine slammed his fist into the table. "I can't stand this. I hate sitting by while we know the bastards are out there, killing other mutants."

"I hate it too, Wolverine," Cyclops said. "But you know as well as I do that any attempts to go back to earth now would be suicide."

Storm added, "They have at least ten starships, we have one. And we can be very sure that they are looking for this ship, waiting for us to return. For us to beam down to the surface, we'd have to de-cloak, which means our shields would need to come down. As Cyclops said, it would be suicide."

Cyclops hooked on to Storm's words, "And I don't think anyone on the team could mentally deal with the trauma of being captured and tortured again. You read what they did to Alpha Flight when they tried to escape. We not only succeeded in escaping, we killed over 200 FOH soldiers. Can you even imagine what they would do to punish us?"

"They would invent new ways to torture us," Rogue said. "It would make Marie's report look like a day in the park. As if what we lived through the first time wasn't bad enough."

Nightmarish lines from Jeanne Marie's report swam through the X-men's minds. Beast idly began wondering. If he was forced by FOH to rape a teammate, he would refuse. He would even allow them to kill him first. But what if, as described in Marie's report, FOH started to use the collar on * her* and she began to beg you to end the torture and just do what FOH said? You would have to go along with it then.

Wolverine looked around the table. "I know what you guys are saying is all true. But I still am damn frustrated about this. I hate running and hiding, which is what we're doing."

Storm shrugged. "Maybe that's all we *can* do. We very well may have to keep running and hiding for the next 2 or 4….or 20 years, and we had better get used to it. Maybe we will never be able to return to earth. We might not like it, but we are a hated and oppressed people who are being hunted and killed. As Shaman would point out, we're doing what people throughout history in that position have done." She spoke her last sentence with particular passion, "We have no choice."

Cyclops added, "It doesn't mean any of us have to like it. It's just the way things are."

The Professor nodded, "I completely agree. And I still have not abandoned my dream that someday we can return to earth and improve things between humans and mutants. But I have come to accept that that might never pass, and if it does, it might not be for another 10 or 20 years."

"Or it might not be within our lifetimes," Jean said. "But we did our best when we were on earth."

There was silence for a few moments. Beast spoke, "So it would appear that our long-term mission might be to increase our dilithium supplies, avoid FOH, and hope the situation on earth improves someday."

Storm nodded. "Unless we can think of some ways to get past FOH and make a difference on earth without facing certain death or capture."

Beast hesitantly spoke up, "I do not wish to falsely raise expectations," he began. "However, I have been working on a device to neutralize the effects of the collar." Most of the team knew what he had been working on. "I had thought I was on the verge of a major break-through, but it did not work. Even though I hit a roadblock in my research, one day, however, I might be successful with this. That could give us the means to return to earth someday."

The thought did give hope to the X-men. However, until Hank succeeded – and he did warn the team that he might never be able to succeed with this -they had little choice. The group then resolved to scan the planets they encountered for dilithium. Their survival in space would depend on their supply increasing.

* * *

The four women sat on the floor in Storm's room in a circle. As usual for their ceremonies, candles flickered and the scent of sage burning wafted through the air. The women continued to meet like this fairly regularly.

"Does anyone have something they would like to say or start off with tonight?" Storm asked. She usually began by asking this question, and if no one wanted to talk, she sometimes tossed out a thought for the group to discuss.

"Yeah, I do," Rogue said. Storm knew Rogue well enough to know from the inflection of her voice that her comment would not be serious. "That sage smells fucking horrible and after all this time, I haven't gotten used to it!"

The group smiled and laughed. Jubilee piped up, "Can you tell me again why we burn the sage? I think you said it once but I was zoned out."

"It is for purification, Jubilee," Storm said, smiling.

"Um….those fumes like won't hurt the baby, will they?"

"No. This is just replicated sage and it can't hurt the baby. Real sage can be problematic, but this replicated version is harmless. Though if you have any concern we can always eliminate this part of the ceremony."

Rogue spoke up, "Oh, sure I complain about it for weeks and Storm demands we keep it in," her tone and smile told everyone her gripe was not serious. "Jubilee questions it once and then Storm's all ready to get rid of it!"

"But you guys," Jean began, "if we get rid of the sage, I think we're going to be losing any claim we have to calling this a `ceremony.' Since all we do is sit on the floor in the dark and talk."

Storm spread her arms and continued with the lighthearted teasing, "I offered once to invoke the gods and goddesses but Rogue just made a face at me!"

When the talk died down, Storm asked again if anyone had anything they wanted to ask or share with the group.

"I have something," Jubilee said. "I know I say this every time but I want to thank you all again for all the help and support you've given me. Especially Storm, but all of you are just wonderful."

The group thanked her and Jean spoke for everyone when she said, "I think you are very brave and you're doing a wonderful job healing."

Jubilee went on to say, "I have something else to share too. I know this might sound weird, but I am really looking forward to having this baby. It seems totally weird and I ask myself again and again why I feel this way. I don't know why, but I look forward to it."

The women nodded. Rogue had to bite her lip. She didn't get it at all. She hadn't totally written off the idea of motherhood for herself someday, but definitely not under those circumstances. She could not dream of bearing one of her rapists' babies, being forced to carry it, look at it, raise it…..

Jean said to Jubilee, "I wonder if your desire to have the baby has to do with…..a desire to nurture and give and receive affection."

Jubilee looked down and nodded. The desire to snuggle with someone was strong, and she'd heard babies were good for that.

There was another pause in the conversation, and Storm said to the group, "It has been several weeks since Alpha Flight departed. I wonder if anyone has any thoughts or feelings they want to share regarding that."

Jean said, "I hope they're ok. I just don't think they have much of a chance to make it, but I'm hoping they beat the odds and made it home."

Storm took a deep breath. "I still find myself….haunted by them. Maybe `haunted' is too strong of a word. But I feel so many emotions when I think of what Marie told us, the report she wrote. Fear is the main one. I am surprised to find myself so afraid but that is the predominant emotion I experience when I think of Alpha Flight."

"'Cause we could get captured again some day," Rogue added glumly.

"Can we not dwell on this?" Jubilee asked. She then looked chagrined as she turned to Storm, "I'm sorry. It's not my place to ask you to stop talking about this just because it makes me uncomfortable." She apologized again.

Storm shook her head. "I appreciate that you told us it makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps," she looked and Jean and Rogue, "just the three of us can discuss this sometime if we want to."

Rogue shrugged. "I actually don't want to dwell on it either, but if you wanna talk about how you feel about it with me anytime, then that's fine by me."

The group moved on to other topics. At one point, the conversation again came around to Jubilee's pregnancy. Jean wanted to share with them that she and Scott were trying to get pregnant but something held her back from revealing that. She didn't know what it was. `Maybe I fear if I talk about it with anyone but Scott, it won't happen,' she told herself. 'For all I know, we can't have children.' She was excited just thinking about becoming a mother and she wanted to share that with others, but she decided it would be better to wait.

She did have something else, though, that she knew she wanted to say. Since it was their practice to hop from topic to topic and discuss anything that they felt like, Jean brought it up at the next lull in the conversation. "I have something I want to tell you three," she began. "I just want to say how glad I am about our meetings. I really get something out of being around the three of you."

Storm, Rogue and Jubilee each nodded and expressed agreement. Storm added, "I am glad that I'm a woman. Because I just do not see the guys sitting around doing this."

There were a few smiles and giggles in reaction to Storm's comment, but Jubilee said, "But what about the ceremony conducted by Shaman? You gotta admit they were like really open then. I was surprised but they did it."

"Hmmmm," Jean said. "That is interesting, because you're right. But that was the * only* time they did anything like this. I asked Scott about it. I don't tell him anything that we talk about here, of course, but he asks me about our group because he can tell it really has been helping me and making me feel better. I suggested to him that the men do something similar but he said he couldn't see it happening. I think maybe the fact that our group ceremony had a facilitator – Shaman- was what helped the guys open up in that situation."

"And perhaps that we were there and opening up," Storm said. "Since we were the ones who made the first comments."

"So I don't know if it was our presence or the facilitator or what," Jean began, "but they can't-or they don't think they can-just sit around and open up like this without that."

Jubilee piped up, "Yeah, somehow I just don't see Wolverine doing that."

"I wonder if the things they * do* do are good enough to help them deal with the trauma. For example, they all really enjoy the Danger Room and working out. It reduces stress and physical tension that way. Perhaps they channel their emotional wounds out that way too." Storm paused. "Though I wonder if that's enough."

"I don't think it is," Jean said. "I mean, it is going to vary from one man to another. But Scott once told me something-and I think it's definitely true. He said that since most men don't open up emotionally with each other, often the only person they can go to is their wife or girlfriend. Assuming they have a good relationship. And I'm happy to do that with Scott-we tell each other a lot and support each other and everything." She paused. "But on this ship, Scott is the only one who * has* a wife or girlfriend."

They didn't do it intentionally, but Storm, Jean and Jubilee each shifted their gaze to Rogue.

"What?" Rogue asked, pretending to be peeved, noticing her friends' eyes on her. She knew why they had turned to her.

"So how are things with Gambit?" Storm asked.

Rogue smiled and looked down. "I don't know. I just fucking don't know what to make of this."

"What to make of what?" Jean asked gently.

Rogue took a deep breath. Jean and Storm had delicately been trying to get Rogue to talk about Gambit for quite sometime now. She hated to admit it, but they were right that she needed to talk about this with someone, and she had known for the past few days that the time was right. "I dunno how I feel about him right now," she finally stated. "I mean, it was good that he backed off when I told him to and all. We spent a lot of weeks just saying `hello' in the halls and that's it. That actually was good. But lately….I just don't know. I really don't know how I feel about him."

Jean hesitated. There was always a question of how much to state that she was aware of. She knew many of her teammates disliked the fact that she could pick up on their strong emotions, so Jean usually mentioned it only if the circumstances were right. She decided to go with her gut and say something. "Rogue, you know I can sense people's emotions when they're very strong emotions. It is a drawback of my powers that I can do so without even trying."

"So you gonna *tell* me how I feel about Gambit?" Rogue asked, one eyebrow raised. She tried to keep her tone of voice neutral and not put off Jean while still expressing a small amount of skepticism. It wasn't Jean's fault that she picked up on things like this. And the thing was, Rogue truly wasn't sure how she felt, and Jean's powers were always right…..

"I do have a strong sense of how you feel,' Jean said. "But if you prefer that I not talk about this, I won't."

"No, go ahead and tell me. I would like to know what you sense."

"I sense that you love him very, very much. The emotions you have when he's in the room-and even when he's not-are very intense. You love him intensely, but the intensity scares you."

Rogue sighed. She looked at Jean and then looked down again. "So I love him, huh?" she asked, trying to make light of it.

Jean smiled. "Ask yourself. Is that how you truly feel?" She added, "You don't have to answer now. Just think about the fact that I might be right."

"Your powers are always right. But why do I feel so confused then?"

Jean was encouraged by Rogue discussing this. She had avoided it whenever the topic had been brought up before. "Well, I have some thoughts as to why you're confused," Jean began.

"Go ahead. Tell me everything." Jean knew that despite Rogue's skeptical tone, the younger woman really wanted to know.

"I sense that you're afraid of getting hurt. Your love for Gambit makes you vulnerable, opens you up to being hurt and you desperately don't want to get hurt again. So you push him away." Jean added, "Or you keep him at a distance," to reflect the change in Rogue's behavior towards Gambit during the last couple of weeks.

"Okay," Rogue said, pretending to pick at one her cuticles and attempting to feign nonchalance. "That certainly makes sense." She looked up. "So what the hell do I do about it?"

Storm smiled, "My view is this. You must decide which you prefer: cutting yourself off from him and your love for each other, and therefore remaining unhurt. Or opening yourself up to it….and the possibility of hurt."

Jean nodded, "It's the price we pay for….for being able to experience love. When you love someone like that, both you and he are open to getting hurt."

Rogue didn't care for Storm and Jean's answers, and she lashed out, "Oh, yeah what the hell would * you* know about that? You and Scott never have any problems, you never hurt each other!" She came off a bit angrier and more aggressive than she had intended but was too embarrassed to offer an apology.

Jean smiled, "That's not true. We do have problems like any other couple. Over the years, we've found good ways to work through them though."

"Give me an example," Rogue said, arms crossed over her chest. "Please," she added.

"Sure," Jean said, with a shrug. She didn't mind opening up with them since they were all good at holding confidences and none of what she planned to say would be a shock to any of them. "When Wolverine first joined the team. He challenged everything Scott did in terms of leadership decisions, and he was openly hitting on me. I had to spend day after day reassuring Scott that I loved him and would never be unfaithful, and reassuring him that he was a great leader. This went on for a long time and after a while I was getting upset because he didn't seem to believe me….and I wasn't getting any support for any of my problems. He and I had to have a number of….heated discussions, or arguments, I guess you'd call them. But we talked it through. We just stuck it out and kept talking to each other even though there were days when I didn't even want to look at him.

"So," Jean paused, "it takes time and it's never easy. But I think you and Gambit could probably learn to work through any problems you might have too."

Rogue was quiet for a minute. She felt bad about having lashed out at Jean, and she was still mulling over Storm's words. "There's somethin' really comforting about not having to be open to getting hurt. I like it this way."

Storm smiled and said, "I understand. When my relationship with Forge ended, I also resolved not to be vulnerable like that again and to stay away from relationships for a while. It was comforting. But the trouble is that you get used to it…then you wake up one day and you feel lonely."

Rogue shrugged. "Loneliness is something I'm no stranger to. So maybe I just can deal with that."

"I think you could," Jean began, "if you weren't so in love with Gambit."

Rogue looked at Jean. "You're in a good relationship. What do you think I should do?" She didn't like having to ask Jean this, but the confusion continued to swirl around her mind.

Jean said, "It's not my place to offer you advice in your personal life. I think, though, that you might benefit from spending some more time with Gambit and being open to your feelings of love for him. But you must realize that you could get hurt."

Rogue nodded. "I have another fear though. You know how men are. If I start gettin all affectionate with him….you know what he's going to want. And I don't want that right now. I do, but I don't. I been having those feelings again now, but I know I don't wanna do it yet. If ever."

Jean was puzzled, "Can't you just tell him that you're not ready to be sexual yet and you don't know when-or even if-you will be?"

Rogue shrugged and muttered, "You know how guys are though."

Storm knitted her brows together, "But Gambit wasn't like that before, was he?" When they lived at the mansion, Storm had been Rogue's main confidant on relationship matters. "How long were you together when we lived at the mansion? And didn't…..well, forgive me if I am getting too personal but…." She let her voice trail off.

A light bulb went off in Rogue's head; she knew what Storm was referring to. She and Gambit had actually "dated" and been affectionate with each other for quite some time-maybe even a year or so-before they got sexual. Rogue had demanded they wait until she was ready-and, shockingly to Rogue at the time, Gambit had complied. Part of her had been thinking at the time that he would go away and find himself a real woman instead of waiting for her, but he never did go away. He waited for her. "You're right," Rogue said, and shared some of her thoughts with the group.

"If he was willing to wait then, why wouldn't he be now?" Storm asked.

"Especially given what you've been through and the fact that he loves you," Jean added.

Rogue looked at Jean, "Does he?"

"Does he love you?" Jean repeated. Once again she was pushed into murky territory. Was she wrong in sharing this? Again, Jean went with her gut. "I sense that he loves you very much, very intensely."

Storm smiled, "Even * I* could sense that, Rogue. Surely you must know that yourself!"

"I guess I do, in a way," Rogue said. "It's just….I dunno. No, I do know." She looked up. "I do want to be with him." Rogue sounded firm for the first time in a long time about this subject. She smiled. "I'll talk to him."

Jean couldn't suppress a smile. At last they had gotten through to Rogue. Now she had to hope that she was right and Rogue could deal with it, if she did indeed get hurt.

Jubilee had listened to the entire exchange with a sense of distance. She'd never had a boyfriend. She was jealous of Jean and Scott, and even of Gambit and Rogue. Sure, Rogue was cursed with her power that rendered her unable to touch anyone, but now that they had all these collars on board…. whenever the couple decided to touch, they could just use them. But Jubilee had no one. She reflexively touched her belly…..`Well, soon I'll have someone to love,' she reminded herself.

Rogue thanked the group. "Okay, this has been helpful. But I'm all talked out about my love life. Anyone else have something they wanna share?"

Jean spoke, "Can we go back to something we brought up earlier? I'm worried about the guys. Just given that most of them don't have anyone to talk to and Shaman's gone now….I worry they might need an outlet, other than the Danger Room."

"Well," Jubilee began, glad that she could relate somewhat to this topic, "is it true that no one of them except Scott have anyone to talk to? Like, Bobby and I talk a lot. He shares things with me. And I think he and Beast do the same." Jubilee smiled, "`Course Bobby's probably not going to have the same hang ups about sharing emotions as the other men."

Jean nodded, "And now that you mention it, I do think that the Professor and Beast are pretty close. Maybe they talk about things too. The Professor sometimes confides in Scott and me too, but it's not the same as we're doing since he's more like a father to us."

"So that leaves Colossus, Gambit and Wolverine," Jubilee said.

Rogue looked thoughtful, "Well, I said I was gonna start talkin with Gambit more. Maybe he will wanna open up with me."

"It's the last two I worry about," Jean said, "especially Wolverine. Colossus has always kept to himself and I sometimes sense he's ok with that. But Wolverine…." Her voice trailed off. She felt she had already been too risky today with breaching other people's confidentiality. Of course the fact that Wolverine had a somewhat tortured soul was not exactly front page news to anyone.

"What about Wolverine?" Jubilee asked. "I'm worried about him too. He-I always felt like he's been like an Uncle or big brother to me. It really sucks to see him in emotional pain so much."

"Well any one of us should be able to talk to him," Rogue said. "He's always been a good friend of mine and of you, Storm. I don't know if he'd open up to you, Jubilee given that you're like his little sister, but maybe he would." Rogue turned to Jean.

"I never know if he likes talking to me or not," Jean said. "I sense so many emotions from him." She sighed, "I know he still loves me, and sometimes I think spending time with me is painful to him because of that. He did open up with me a little bit the other day, but….but it wasn't enough."

Storm shrugged, "Well, allow me to propose something. Each of us can look for opportunities to talk to him and see if he wants to open up. We can each make an effort, and if he doesn't want to, then he doesn't want to." Storm paused. "I must also add….I am glad to help any friend in need. But I want to point out that we're all acting in a very typical female way, wanting to help and nurture the men."

"What's wrong with that?" Jean asked, keeping her tone straightforward and not angry.

"Nothin'," Rogue said, "`cept Storm has a point. Shit, we suffered a lot more than they did."

"They have all been very supportive of us though," Jean said.

Storm spoke, "I'm not trying to make it into a contest of who suffered more. I simply wanted to point out something I'm observing about our behavior. If we want to nurture and support the men, I think that is fine. But we need to make sure our needs are met as well."

The women agreed. Rogue looked forward to speaking with Gambit.

* * *

That evening, Gambit was working out in the gym with Wolverine and Beast. He was starting to share Wolverine's restlessness. It seemed that most of their teammates were enjoying life on board the ship. After so many years of fighting, living this way had some appeal as the days settled into comfortable routines. You could learn and practice all you wanted to know about the ship's functions, you could work out for hours on end in the gym and Danger Room, you could play computer games and cards and shoot the breeze with your friends without interruption. Gambit had really enjoyed this respite for a while….but part of him was getting sick of the tediousness. At the same time, he understood the reasons why returning to earth now would be impossible.

`Course this little vacation would be a lot more fun if Gambit's girlfriend would spend some time with him,' he thought to himself.

Almost as if on cue, Rogue entered the gym. Gambit had been taking a break, guzzling water as he paced. Wolverine and Beast were making short work of the simulated foes they were encountering in the Danger Room.

Upon seeing Rogue, Gambit's mind instantly went to his scruffy appearance. He was drenched in sweat, his hair flying in every direction. He was wearing gray sweats this evening instead of his usual form-fitting costume. On any given day, Gambit's appearance could be described as unkempt, but he put effort into it and knew that women found the look appealing -sexy and slightly dangerous. That evening, however, he knew that he merely looked disheveled.

"Hey Swamp Rat," Rogue called to him as she walked over.

"Chere. How are you?"

"Just fine, sugar. So is there a sauna in here or didja decide to just bathe in your sweat?" she teased, noting the perspiration stains all over his shirt.

"Hey, Gambit spent the evening lifting weights before he defeated Sinister and the Nasty Boys in the Danger Room."

Rogue lifted her eyebrows and gestured for Gambit to flex his biceps. He did so, and she smiled as she appreciatively squeezed the muscles. Her omnipresent gloves protected him from her skin. "Not bad, Cajun, " she said, her voice sweet and hinting.

Gambit's head reeled. She was clearly flirting with him, like she used to do in the old days. Ever since the X-men had gained control of this ship, she had gradually been more like her old self as time passed. But this was the most like the old Rogue-the one who was in love with him-she had been.

"They might be nice, but I'll never be as strong as you are, chere," Gambit admitted.

Rogue was quiet for a bit and she got a serious look on her face. "Say, Remy," she began, "you wanna talk with me sometime? I—uh-got some things I wanna say to you. I mean, talk `bout with you."

"Gambit can talk right now, Rogue. I ain't got any appointments on my calendar this evening," he said, with a laugh.

Rogue playfully poked him in the stomach, "Great, but wouldja shower first? Since you're practically dripping sweat all over the floor."

Fifteen minutes later, Rogue sat on the bridge with a freshly-showered Gambit. The bridge was a good place to have a conversation with someone, its many windows allowing people to look out into the vastness of space, the blackness with shining stars interspersed. The view was breathtaking. It also afforded them privacy; it was unlikely that someone would just stumble onto the bridge since the infirmary was still the center of activities.

"I feel so small when I look at the stars out dere," Gambit said. He sat next to Rogue, each facing the giant picture window.

"Me too. But I also feel kinda….free. I'm damn sick of earth. I like it out here."

"Gambit likes being away from earth. But Gambit getting' a little bored here too. No big deal though. Things could be a lot worse."

Rogue swiveled her chair a bit so she faced Gambit. She hated eating crow but she knew what she had to begin with, "Gambit I'm sorry I treated you so badly before. I was a jackass, and I'm sorry."

Gambit's heart began to pound. He had never expected her to apologize. This was an incredible sign. "Is no problem, chere. Gambit knows you were hurtin. I jus be glad that you look like you feelin better."

Rogue shrugged, "I dunno whether I'll ever be totally better, Remy. But now I think you were just trying to help."

Gambit took a deep breath. "Gambit loves you, Rogue. I jus want you to be happy."

"I know, Remy." She looked him straight into his beautiful eyes, his damp auburn hair tied into a ponytail against the back of his neck. "I love you too. God it scares me to even say those words but that's how I feel."

Gambit gently reached for her hands and pressed them to his lips. Her words felt delicious to his ears.

"But I got somethin else to say, Gambit," Rogue began, removing her hands from his lips. "I don't know if I'm gonna want sex again. I might not. If we were back on earth, I would tell you to go and get yourself someone else because I think you deserve better." He started to open his mouth and protest, but she shook her head. "Now I realize that we're on a starship and you can't exactly go get yourself someone else. But I wanna be clear about this. Cause….I feel a strong desire to…." Shit, why did this have to be so hard to say?, "…to hug you and touch you and all. But I dunno if I want sex. So I need to tell you this, Swamp Rat, so you can decide if that's ok with you or not. If it's not, then I think that's cool too. We can just be friends. And if it is ok with you, then I wanna be able to hug you and all. But if you make a move on me and I ain't ready for it, I'm gonna punch you into next week!" It didn't quite come out how Rogue had wanted it to, but she was glad she said it all.

Gambit started to say something but Rogue silenced him by holding her hand up. "Maybe you wanna think about this for a while, Remy and that's fine by me."

"Chere, Gambit's got nothing to think about," Gambit said. "I love you. Dat's all dere is to it. I want to be with you, in whatever way you'll have me."

"But Gambit…are you sure you want a girlfriend who…who don't wanna have sex? Are you sure that's gonna be ok with you?"

"Yes, Gambit is sure. And, chere, you said you do want to hug and things like dat. I would be more than happy to do dose kinds of things cause I miss touching you."

"But remember that I might not want to ever do anything * more* than that. Are you sure that's gonna be enough for you?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," Gambit insisted.

Rogue took a deep breath. "I don't understand, Remy. You're a very, very….um, sexual person. How can it possibly be enough?"

"Rogue," Gambit said intently, "why can you not believe dat Gambit loves you? When you love someone, you want to be with dem on * dere* terms. I want to be with you." He paused, "Gambit knows you have been through a lot. I feel sick when I think of what dose damn soldiers did to you. I feel angry and sick over it. So I understan that you might not ever want sex again. But Gambit loves you and wants to be with you, whatever your terms are."

All the intense feelings welled up inside Rogue. How could anyone really love her this much? No one before in her life had. She strongly wanted to believe it but it seemed too good to be true. But then she remembered Jean's words. Gambit truly did love her.

Rogue slipped off her chair and embraced Gambit. It was difficult to do with him seated, so he stood and faced her. She nestled her head against his shoulder, carefully turning her face away from his skin. The warmth and tenderness of the embrace was incredible. She forgot how good this felt. She didn't mean to, but she moaned from the inexpressible joy of touching someone she loved. Their touch may have been through layers of clothes, as it always was, but it still felt indescribably good.

* * *

Our card game in the infirmary wound down that night and Hank, the Professor, Colossus and I slowly disbursed. I was musing that it was kind of nice to play without Gambit since he tended to be so competitive and usually won, when who should enter the room but the Cajun himself?

I could tell right away that he was happy about something-and I had a good idea what it was-as soon as he spotted me. He asked me to come talk with him, and we went off to his room so we could have some privacy.

"Well, you look happy over something," I said, smiling.

"Gambit is walking on air right now!" He began. He went on to describe his interaction with Rogue that evening.

"Wow, that is *so* good to hear!" I said. "I'm really happy for you. See, I knew she just needed some time, really."

"Well, you were right, Bobby," Gambit said, smiling.

I had something I needed to tell him and I really couldn't think of a subtle way to say it. Picking up on subtlety isn't exactly his strength either, so I just decided to plunge in. "Um….Gambit, you know you really gotta pay attention to what she said about not rushing her. She really might not ever want to have sex again. Are you sure you're ok with that?"

Gambit looked a tad exasperated. "Why everyone question dis? Do I come across as some sort of sex-obsessed ladies man?"

I smiled and said, "Well…."

"Very funny, Drake."

I shrugged. "I don't mean it as a put down. You do kinda have this aura about you….you know, you're suave, everyone knows you've-um-been around the block a bit. You do come across as a ladies man. But, really, Gambit if you do ever push her and she's not ready-I have no doubt that she will give you a black eye like you've never had before. You'll ruin everything and never get her back."

"I know," Gambit said. "Dis is gonna be very hard for Gambit. I am gonna need to use every bit of self-control I have, but I can do it. I'm sure of dat. Besides, when she and I were together the first time, back at the mansion….well, let's just say we were `together' for a long time before we ever took off our clothes together."

I hadn't know this and was a bit surprised. "Really?"

"Yes. I think almost a year went by before she was ready for dat. So if I could do it den, I can do it again now." He smiled and shook his head, "`Dough I will say dat bein with Rogue has taught me a lot about patience."

"Maybe that's a good thing," I said.

He smiled, "You're right dat I been around the block in the past. I'm older now though."

I nodded. "Hey, I just thought of something. We have all these collars on board the ship. You can use them to kiss each other-I mean, if she wants to, of course."

"Gambit asked her about dat. She said she'd think about it. She said she didn't wanna wear the collar again and I can see why. But maybe she will want to. When we were in dat cell on dat awful first night here, we kissed a lot and she really, really liked it. She told me dat today."

'If she ever does want to have sex with you, she can wear the collar and you two can do whatever you want."

"Gambit has thought of dat," he said with a smile.

"The question, though is * if* she ever wants to."

"I know, I know." He paused. "What a great day dis was," he mused, his head tilted upwards. "Hugging her again felt so good. Gambit felt so alive. I never been in love like dis before." He paused from his reverie and looked at me. "So what about you, Bobby? You poor thing, out here in space with no one to give you any lovin'." His tone was teasing, and fortunately there was no innuendo in it as there had been that night he was drunk.

"Yeah, I got nothing but 6 straight men and 4 women on this ship. A gay guy comes on board for a bit and -bam, he's gone in like two weeks!"

Gambit chuckled. "Maybe we'll rescue another gay mutant."

"If there even is another," I muttered.

"Gambit does feel bad for you, Bobby. Must be lonely. Too bad you don't like women. Jubilee used to have the biggest crush on you, and maybe she still does."

I shrugged. "It's lonely but I'll survive. Not much I can do about the current situation, is there?" I sighed, "I guess I'm not the only one who gets lonely too."

* * *

The starship approached the first planet in the new solar system. Keeping the ship's cloaking device on, Cyclops guided the ship into the planet's orbit. Storm, Beast, Wolverine and the Professor sat on the bridge with him, though most of the other X-men were monitoring ship's functions via the monitor. Everyone was very curious.

The Professor activated the ship's sensors and scanned the planet. The computer worked for several minutes before producing a report. At last, several lines of data began appearing on his screen. "There are life forms on this planet," he said, looking at the readout from his monitor. "Humanoid life forms, and they are very numerous, scattered throughout the planet's landmasses. This planet is very densely populated."

"So even if they have dilithium on this planet, we can't take it," Wolverine said. Silently he cursed. He understood and agreed with the logic-it would not be right to steal the dilithium from a planet filled with inhabitants. Still, it was disappointing.

Beast frowned. What a tough situation they were in, especially for someone with a scientific mind. He would have leaped at the chance to study more about the life forms on that planet-but if they studied the people at close range, making contact with them, they would be disrupting the natural evolution of the humanoids. Studying the life forms from afar was not practical; it would keep them from finding more dilithium. Since gathering dilithium was their top priority, they would have to continue on to the next planet without learning anything about the humanoids.

The Professor continued to read the computer's analysis, "This planet also has two moons but neither has dilithium."

"We might as well set a course for the next planet in this system," Cyclops said. "We should be there in two or three days."

* * *

The next day, Wolverine sat in the infirmary, working at the computer. Boredom had compelled him to get on the computer and see what he could look up on the topic of martial arts. Beast spent the better part of his days doing research on childbirth and on the collars, but he was taking a break.

The door to sick bay slide aside. Without having to turn his head from the screen, Wolverine needed only to sniff to determine who entered the room as each of his teammates had a different scent. Even if he didn't have his augmented sense of smell, his enhanced hearing enabled him to pick up on differences in the way people walked, the sounds of their shoes hitting the floor.

He did, however, turn his head to pay respect to the person entering the room, to be able to look at her as he greeted her.

"Hi, Wolverine,' Jubilee said.

"Hi, kid," he greeted.

"I didn't expect to see you in here. I just came in for a snack," she said, as she made her way to the food replicator. She had to stifle a giggle at the sight of Wolverine sitting at the computer. It just wasn't how she usually saw him.

Wolverine was glad to hear her saying so many words. The Jubilee of only a few weeks ago might have mumbled a `hello' at best.

"What are you making?" he asked as she began pressing buttons on the replicator.

"I'm going to have an orange and carrot sticks. I hate healthy food but Beast and Storm are always reminding me I should eat healthy for the baby. I know they're right so that's what I've been doing. You want some too?"

"No thanks," he muttered. "Is the stuff from the food replicator as healthy as the real stuff?" he wondered.

"I asked Beast about it. He said that it's not quite as healthy as, say, fresh fruit and vegetables but it's still good for you."

As the replicator worked to create the foods Jubilee had requested, she pulled up a chair and sat down near Wolverine. "So, do you know the latest on the search for dilithium?" Of all the X-men, Jubilee had been the only one not riveted to monitors when they had scanned the planet's surface.

"The latest I heard was that we should be at the next planet in about 4 days. The plan is to move at slower speeds since that uses up less dilithium."

"But I don't get it…I thought we had enough for like two years."

"We do, kid. But if we don't conserve as much as we can, the two years will be up before we know it." Cyclops had recently issued an order that the Danger Room section of the gym would now be in operation for only three hours every day. Grudgingly, Wolverine had to admit it was a good idea as that was one of the biggest energy guzzlers. They could still work and train using the rest of the equipment in the gym. Plus the time limit really forced everyone to maximize their time in the Danger Room.

In addition to shutting down the Danger Room for periods of time, all life support and power had been turned off in areas of the ship that weren't being used. Aside from the bridge, engine room, sick bay, meeting room, gym, personal quarters, and hallways that connected these places, the rest of the ship was sealed off and dark now.

"I guess you're right," she said. Her snacks were ready now, and Jubilee began munching on the carrot sticks. The conversation died down and Wolverine turned back to the computer. Jubilee wondered if this might be a good time to ask him how he was doing and see if she could help him, thinking back to the conversation the women had had at their last ceremony.

But before she could express concern for him, he surprised her by turning back to her and asking, "How are you doing, kid? Have you been feeling alright?"

Jubilee shrugged. "I've been ok. I'm sick sometimes in the morning, but from what I've been reading it could be a lot worse." She smiled and decided it would be best to leave out some of the details such as her frequent need to urinate and her sore breasts. She had shared those changes with the other women. She added, "Though everything I've been reading tells me I can to look forward to swollen feet and ankles, heartburn, possible hemorrhoids and a bunch of other fun stuff."

Wolverine looked intently at her. "Actually, I meant emotionally," he said.

Jubilee couldn't help but to smile at his concern. She still was one of the few team members who was able to bring out Wolverine's soft spot, and she knew it. "I'm ok. Once I made the decision, Jean is always reminding me to look on the positive side, and she's right. And I really like the idea of going against the stupid Mutant Sterilization Act. Beast, Storm and I meet regularly to talk about what we've learned and share ideas. He's the best doctor and she's the best coach in the world." She shrugged, "Things could always be worse."

Wolverine's facial expression remained the same. From all the years she'd known him, Jubilee was fairly good at reading his body language. She surmised he was in a mood worse that his normal sullen mood, but not drastically worse. She swallowed and asked, "So…how are you doing? Are you ok?"

Wolverine nodded, his eyes far away. "Yeah. I'm fine, kid." He turned back to the computer and resumed working on whatever it was he'd been doing, clearly indicating that the conversation was over.

Jubilee munched on the carrot sticks. She wasn't terribly surprised that he didn't want to open up to her. As her surrogate uncle, he wouldn't want to burden her with his troubles. She'd be one of the last people he'd talk to that way. She could only hope he knew how much she cared about him and would be able to confide in someone else if he needed to. `Who am I kidding?' she asked herself. `He's not gonna open up to anyone.'

* * *

Our search of that solar system's planets was not exactly a resounding success. There were 12 planets and 22 moons in the system. During the next four or five weeks, we discovered that only one of the planets and one of the moons met our criteria: a supply of dilithium which was nowhere near where any life forms were located. Unfortunately, the dilithium amounts were very small. We beamed it aboard and, in the engine room, processed the substance until it was usable. All told, we gained enough dilithium to power the ship for roughly 5 weeks. It was better than nothing, but it wasn't very encouraging after all that searching.

We hoped that we might encounter an uninhabited planet which would have breathable air and pleasant outdoor conditions, so that we might experience fresh air and nature. I guess it was a fantasy we were clinging to, and a fairly unrealistic one too. The uninhabited planets routinely had unbreathable air and/or harsh conditions. One planet had enough oxygen that we could have breathed its air, but the temperature on the entire planet was freezing cold, sub-zero. Our fantasy vacation land was just that….a fantasy. Even if we did find such a land, though, the prospect of us beaming down and spending time there was looking more and more impractical. Both using the transporter and landing the ship took energy, and energy was becoming a very precious commodity.

So we set course for the next solar system. Maybe we would have better luck there, but we refrained from letting our hopes get too high or entertaining any notions of beaming down to a tropical paradise.

"If our luck does not improve in the next solar system," the Professor began one evening as we sat down for dinner, "then perhaps we should circle back and head more towards earth."

"Maybe dilithium is more common to our area of space," Cyclops speculated.

"I wonder if this next solar system will be more interesting than the last," Jean said. "None of the planets inhabited by humanoids in the last system had people who were….technologically advanced enough that they had starships or space stations."

"It is possible that we might encounter that as we move through space," Hank said. "Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing who might be friendly and who will not be. This could be a good reason for not straying too far from earth."

"But we're cloaked, right?" Rogue asked. "Doesn't that protect us?"

"Yes, but we have no way of knowing whether we'll encounter a people who have advanced technology and can detect our cloak," Hank reminded her.

I looked around the table. There were a few grim expressions, but I honestly wasn't all that worried. The group had discussed this at length during many previous dinners. All we could do was hope for the best and believe there was dilithium out there and we'd find it. If worse comes to worse, we do have options. We can turn off the cloaking device since it uses so much power. If we get to the point where we're desperate, we either find a planet that is inhabitable and settle there, or head back for earth and go under cover. We're all strong and powerful. One way or another, we'll make it.

Hank and I had re-checked our supplies and, with all the energy-saving techniques that had been implemented on the ship (in addition to closing off sections of the ship, we lowered the temperature of the sections we used-people regularly wore sweaters and gloves) and the small supply of dilithium we'd attained, we still had enough to last us an estimated 19 or 20 months. With something like this, though, it was difficult to get a precise measure of how long supplies would last. I did regret some of the unnecessary things we had replicated, like extra clothes. However, the biggest energy guzzlers were the Danger Room, cloaking device, and life support.

"Well, I have some news for everyone," the Professor said, smiling. "Back on earth, it is Christmas time. I wonder if there is any interest here in celebrating the holidays together?" The Professor always loved Christmas.

Jean clasped her hands together. "I would love to! Maybe we could replicate a tree and some decorations. If we keep it small, it won't take up much power at all."

The room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer and almost….festive. Most of the others smiled and nodded; they seemed to like the thought of celebrating the holiday. I liked it too. Wolverine was the only one who had a decidedly unenthusiastic look on his face about doing Christmas.

"Maybe each of us can pull one name out of a hat and get dat person a gift," Gambit suggested. "If each of us replicate only one gift, dat won't take up too much power. Especially if we keep `em small and not complicated."

"And maybe not every gift needs to be an object," Jean suggested, "We could give each other coupons, for like a back rub or something." She paused and smiled, "I didn't mean anything sexual by that." We all giggled over that.

We talked around the idea and people, myself included, got enthused. Except Wolverine, of course. When Jubilee implored him to get with the program, he smiled and agreed to take part in the grab bag. "I guess I'm out numbered on this one," he said.

Each of us drew one person's name that evening, and I got Hank's! As a group, we didn't decide whether or not to keep the name of the person you drew a secret, but we talked about different ways people could specify what they wanted. The Professor and Jean both laughed together during the discussion of whether to keep the name of the person you drew a secret. As telepaths, they each knew who had pulled their name. Jean even said, "Hank, I'll give you a list of what I want, ok?" Hank smiled good-naturedly.

We talked about exchanging gifts on the day which was closest to the Christmas on earth. It would be 10 days from now on board our ship. Gambit's Cajun cooking back at the mansion was always a big hit around the holidays, I'm told. He had been disgusted with the replicator, saying its food never tasted anywhere near the real thing, but he agreed to prepare another holiday Cajun meal this year. When dinnertime was over that evening, the mood on the ship was downright celebratory, for most of us at least. Worries over our dilithium supply had dissipated.

By dinnertime the next evening, a very small tree adorned sick bay. It was tiny and at risk of getting stepped on, but we all understood the need to conserve power. Jean and the Professor had replicated a few ornaments and some garland.

"We're thinking of having the tree trimming party tomorrow at four," Jean said. Wow, she was positively glowing. She looked excited and thrilled, which I thought was cute. I mused that it was amazing what the holidays can do to some people.

Cyclops looked equally excited. "Anyone who'd like to attend, please show up," he said.

Rogue smiled, "With that small of a tree, if all of us show up for the party, we'll be done decorating in 5 minutes!" The group laughed.

"We'll just have to go really slow," I joked. "Take turns, one person at a time will slowly walk from the door to the tree and put the ornament on."

We continued joking along those lines, and the mood was pretty merry.

When the food replicator was done preparing dinner, Hank and I got up and brought the serving plates over to the table. When we were seated again and people started passing plates, I noticed Jean and Scott exchange a look.

"Jean and I have something to announce," Scott said, smiling from ear to ear.

Jean added, "We had wanted to wait till everyone was done eating, but I just can't wait another second!" Jean looked absolutely blissful and excited, and as if she were about to burst out of her skin.

"We're pregnant!" Scott said.

Pandemonium broke out. It was clear to everyone that they were elated, and everyone forgot all thoughts of food.

The Professor actually started crying, he was so thrilled. He was nearly speechless. Jean and Scott both went right up to him, exchanging hugs and kisses with their foster father. When he finally spoke, he said, "I've sensed for a few days now that you're really happy, but I didn't want to be nosy…." I'd never seen him so choked up.

Basically, we all got up and exchanged hugs and congratulations with the couple. I hugged and kissed both members of the pair, and they both hugged and kissed me right back.

Jubilee was so happy that she got as teary as the Professor had. "My baby will have a playmate!" she exclaimed.

"I know!" Jean said. "I think it'll be wonderful….They'll be best friends…."

"Jean and Scott, I am so thrilled for you," Hank said. "And I think I'm going to open my own OB-GYN practice," he added.

"You already have!" Storm joked.

The mood during dinner was just exhilaration. It was clear to everyone that Scott and Jean really, really wanted this baby and were really happy about it, and everyone just picked up on their vibe. Some of the team were too excited to eat. Any worries I may have had over Jubilee being jealous (given that their baby was a planned one, hers wasn't, etc) were gone-she was enthusiastically talking to Jean and Scott about what they might expect during the first trimester. Jokes were made about returning to earth in order to stage raids on maternity clothing stores and ToysRUs. We speculated as to whether the baby would have both its parents' powers or just one. We wondered whether the baby would have red or auburn hair.

In retrospect, I think I can see why everyone was so thrilled over the news. I mean, it wasn't just because Jean and Scott were. I think part of it had to do with the fact that we are a hated, oppressed group of people whom others are trying to wipe out. The prospect of two babies among us gave us hope for the future. It also gave a big finger to the Mutant Sterilization Act. Let them try to "exterminate" us, we were just going to keep on reproducing and making new leaders of the X-men!

Oh. Not everyone was happy. He did try to be a sport about it, which I was surprised by. He awkwardly embraced Jean and even shook Scott's hand while mumbling "Congratulations." After he ate, though, he said a curt goodnight and left the table. That was maybe even a bit more than I would've expected from him though.

I would've gone after him and tried to lift his mood, but Wolverine didn't really talk to me. He was polite and all to me but we just weren't best of friends. I knew he wouldn't open up to me, so what would be the point of expressing concern? He did have friends on this team though. I guessed that Storm and Rogue might've been his closest friends, and I hoped that one of them might talk to him and offer to help.

Though I also think that some people just like to brood and aren't good at being happy.

* * *

"Sugar, guess who's name I pulled tonight?" Rogue asked Gambit that evening, talking about the holiday gift exchange. They sat together on the bridge, holding hands. Often they spent their evenings together looking out the window into space, talking about whatever was on their minds.

"Who?" Gambit asked.

Rogue gave Gambit quite a smile.

"Was it Gambit?" Gambit asked, excitedly.

"Yes," she said. "So….any thoughts on what my favorite Swamp Rat wants for Christmas?"

"Chere, all I need is a smile and a hug from you, and Gambit be on cloud nine."

"You charmer," Rogue teased, pinching one of his cheeks. "You get that from me every day." Rogue spoke the truth; the couple regularly played cards, worked out and spent a lot of time together, and they usually said goodnight by hugging. They always held the embrace for a long time. But she had not been kidding when she said it would be a while before she would be ready to do anything more. She had been content with the physical contact they had had, so she'd not initiated anything else. "Now think of something else," she told him.

"Hmmmm…." Gambit said, his mind entertaining several delicious thoughts. "Well, if you want, chere, your present to me could be to allow Gambit to give you a massage."

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "What areas of my body were you thinkin' of massaging?"

"Shoulders and back, maybe. Unless you want me to work on other areas."

Rogue considered his idea seriously. "I would definitely want it limited to shoulders and back. But…is that you seriously want your present to be, sugar?"

"Yes."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You better * just* be talking about a massage, Cajun, and nothing more than that. Are you sure you'll be able to keep it in your pants?" she asked, taking a pointed look at his groin.

Gambit smiled, "Gambit remembers dat you promised to punch him into next week if I ever try anything you haven't approved. So I will have to stop dere if I value my life."

"You bet, mister," she said with spark. She then considered. "Well, if that's the gift you want, that's what I'll have to get for you. So….when do you want to do this?"

"The Professor says we supposed to change gifts in 10 days, over my Cajun dinner. But Gambit thinks dis maybe we don't want to do in sick bay."

"I agree. Maybe we should do it after the holiday dinner."

"Sounds good to me, chere."

That evening, as every evening, they hugged each other goodnight for a long time outside of Rogue's room, before parting.

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"So let's say, hypothetically speaking, that someone was to give you a Christmas present. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Let's also say that you're stranded on a starship with them, though, so what they can get you is kinda limited."

Hank frowned and made a face at me. "Your ability to keep a secret, Mr. Drake, is as lacking as ever."

"Hey, I never said that I pulled your name."

"Bobby, you are grinning from ear to ear. You have numerous facial and body language clues that you give away when you're up to something or when you're trying to hide something. It is alright, though. It doesn't matter to me whether the identity of who is arranging my present is a secret or not."

"Okay, good. I did pull your name. Now give me some ideas on what to get you!"

"I am not sure what to ask for. At least I cannot think of anything that is easily attainable. I miss my library, of course. But books are difficult to replicate. Their complexity takes up too much energy and it is not practical."

"Okay, then what else? C'mon, Hank, can't you think of something? Maybe my present can be to help you with your research."

"The best way you can do that is to stay out of the infirmary while I'm working."

"Oh, great! My own best friend asks me to basically get lost as a present to him! Is that the best you can come up with?"

Hank sighed. "I will try to think some more. Now what would you like, Bobby?"

"I thought you pulled Jean's name. Isn't that what she said at dinner?"

"Yes. But I think that since we're best friends, we should exchange something too."

"That is a wonderful idea, Hank," I said, a smiling spreading across my face. "I will have to devote some serious thought as to what I'd like to ask for."

* * *

Storm decided to spend one afternoon relaxing in the pool. After changing into her swimsuit and entered the humid area of the pool, she found Wolverine swimming laps. With so many areas of the ship now shut down, there were a limited number of places to go to just hang out. If someone really wanted privacy, they had to retire to their room since running into others in the gym, sick bay and even on the bridge was probable. Therefore, she took it as a sign that he was not in a completely sour mood if he was showing his face in public. Although no one else occupied the pool, Colossus, Cyclops and Jean were working out in the gym, on the other side of the large room. The Professor was with them, lifting weights as he liked to strengthen his upper body as much as possible.

As she approached the pool, Storm took a moment to admire Wolverine's form. He swam a few laps, his muscular shoulders and powerful back working away. Covered in hair, his body was all unbridled strength and masculinity. Storm repressed a sigh. Perhaps in another time and place….

The laps didn't seem to take anything out of Wolverine, but he stopped to take a break, swimming towards the shallow end of the pool.

"Hello, Logan," Storm greeted. He returned the greeting, as she made her way into the pool. Adjusting to the cold water, she waded through it until she stood near him.

"Been working hard?" she asked.

"Yeah," he grunted. "I'm takin a break now."

"I came here to relax myself," Storm said, reaching for one of the floatation devices in the pool. She leaned back into it. "I'm afraid I need some help," Storm began. "I was given a most difficult task at dinner two days ago and I've been unable to figure out how to resolve it. I was assigned to procure a present for a man who does not seem to be very enthused about the idea of Christmas. I think that the thought of surprising him with something he really wants is an impossibility. So I must come straight out and ask him for some ideas."

Wolverine smiled. "Darlin', your friendship is the best present I could have."

"Is it? It warms my heart to hear you say that, Logan." she said, smiling but looking at him intently. "But I must confess that I fear I perhaps have been remiss in my duty as your friend."

"Why do you say that?" he asked.

"It seems to me that you have not been in a good mood lately. In fact, your demeanor has seemed worse than usual. Is there something I can do to help you?"

Wolverine had to laugh.

"What is it?" Storm asked, puzzled by his amusement.

He smiled and shook his head, "Alright. Admit it-you four women are working in tandem, aren't you?"

Storm couldn't repress a giggle. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Darlin, let's just say that you're not the first member of the fair sex who approached me lately, offering to listen to me to talk about my feelings." He said it flatly, without any negativity but not sounding appreciative either.

Storm raised her eyebrows. "I see. So….do you want to talk?"

"No." He turned to her and looked into her eyes. "But I am glad to know that you care about me, darlin', I mean it. If I ever do feel like talking, I'll call you. Or Rogue or Jean." They both smiled as he said the last sentence. "Now I'm gonna get back to swimming laps. Wanna join me?"

"No thank you, Wolverine. I came here simply to relax."

Storm watched him resume swimming and had to chuckle to herself. Wolverine's emotional state *was* a frequent topic of conversation among the four women. They all cared about him very much; they all liked him. But Jean was the only one who had gotten through to him, that evening when Jubilee had announced her pregnancy. Jean strongly felt Wolverine's mood was due mostly to guilt and anger over not being able to protect the women from the FOH, though there were likely other reasons he wasn't feeling well too. (The tediousness of their routine on board the ship, for one. And Jean hadn't said it out loud, but Storm guessed that Wolverine's feelings for Jean-and seeing Jean and Scott now expectant parents-wasn't helping either.)

Although she knew it was irrational that Wolverine feel guilt over the assaults, Storm understood why he might feel that way. 'Sometimes our hearts just refuse to accept things that our minds know.' Another, darker, thought entered Storm's mind that afternoon. Had Wolverine ever committed a rape? Could that explain the more difficult time he was having dealing with the feelings of guilt-especially since the other men didn't seem to be taking it quite as hard. Storm had seen a lot in her years; she was somewhat jaded. Wolverine had had quite a checkered past. When he first came to the X-men, he had been more animal than man. Who knew what he might have done? But despite Wolverine's gruff exterior, he was always kind-hearted and gentle towards his female teammates-in fact, towards all women, except those who were enemies of the X-men. He was an honorable man. Yet Storm decided it was possible, though she hated the thought and had to push it out of her mind. Even if he had done it in the past, she knew he would not do something like that in the future.

Storm checked the clock. Excellent. She still had two hours to relax before she and Jubilee, along with Jean and Scott, were due to meet with Beast. Beast now met regularly with both of the pregnant women and their coaches. The 5 discussed everything they had read and learned about childbirth and pregnancy, and Jubilee and Jean talked about the changes they were undergoing. Jubilee really seemed to relish being able to share experience with Jean, since she was much further along in her pregnancy. Jean always eagerly asked a number of questions of the younger woman. What also made the experience a joyful one was that Scott and Beast were both excited too. Beast's interest, Storm assumed, was mainly scientific. This was a major medical and scientific event that he'd had no previous first-hand exposure to. Scott's interest, of course, was personal and Storm enjoyed seeing this other side of him. He was actually full of wonder and awe at what his wife was going through. Since Scott never knew his biological family either, this was even more exciting to him.

Storm enjoyed playing the role of Jubilee's mentor. She herself never wanted to bear a child, and she was not regretful of the fact that her years to do so were dwindling. But the idea of being a wise old Aunt….Storm fancied that role very much.

* * *

Five chairs in the infirmary were arranged in a circle. Beast, Cyclops, Jean, Jubilee and Storm sat facing each other during one of their regular meetings. Storm passed out copies of an article she had found of women recounting their first-hand experiences giving birth. Hank discussed the research he'd read about since their last meeting, and everyone was quite impressed with the amount he knew and how well he was absorbing it. He knew the answer to most of the questions they lobbied at him, and for those that he didn't, he always looked it up and got back to them promptly. And when Jean or Scott or anyone else shared something they had read, Hank was generally able to flavor it with tidbits from other sources that he knew of.

Jean listened to Hank speak and had no fear about the birth process. She knew it would be fine given her and Scott's strong partnership with each other and with Hank. Of course she and Scott were not just relying on Hank to research and learn about childbirth for them. The two of them got on the computer several hours a day, and read and learned all they could. Jubilee and Storm often did the same.

Meanwhile, Hank glanced at Jubilee periodically and had to beat back worry. The woman was tiny—narrow hands and feet, a very small frame. She was eating healthy and gaining an appropriate amount of weight, but that wouldn't change the fact that she had a small frame. Once she had told him of her pregnancy, he had examined her. Her hips and birth passage were narrow. All they could do was hope that the sperm donor was not a large-framed man and that the baby would be small. Of course, Beast, Storm and Jubilee had discussed together the concerns about Jubilee's size. If he had to, he assured them, he would do a C-section. But Hank had never done that before and he did not look forward to the prospect. A C-section was pretty major surgery and he was not a surgeon. He wished that Shaman had decided to remain on board as his healing skills would have come in handy.

Hank knew that Jean would not likely pose such a problem. She had a medium-frame, and Scott was not a big-framed man either. In all likelihood, the birth would be fine.

"Do I have anything else to look forward to?" Jean asked with a smile. Jubilee had just recounted some of the physical discomforts she was living with.

"Well, I gotta say that I hate sleeping on my side. I just can't get used to it! I used to always sleep on my stomach," Jubilee said.

"Great," Jean muttered.

Scott smiled and added, "You know, it's really hard to change the position you sleep in. Before I had my…powers, I used to sleep on my stomach. But when my powers showed themselves and I had to wear glasses all the time…I had to learn to sleep on my back. Now I do it automatically but it really look me forever to get used to it."

"Swell," Jubilee said. "Probably by the time I get used to it, the baby will be here. And then I won't be getting any sleep at all!"

"Now we know that's not true," Jean said. "Besides, remember what we talked about. Since we'll both have babies, we'll take turns watching each other's so the other of us can get some time alone."

Storm smiled, "And all the other X-men have agreed to help. We'll be fine."

There was a pause in the conversation. Hank spoke up, "Jubilee, have you decided on whether you'd like to know the sex of your baby?"

The question had come up last time, since she was getting near to the point where the baby's sex would be able to be determined. Jubilee nodded, "I have been thinking about it. I think that I would like to know. I figure I'm gonna have enough surprises in my life, why not eliminate one other surprise?"

Hank nodded. "We'll do some tests, then."

Storm turned to Scott and Jean. "What about you two? You're going to have a wait before you'll be able to know, but when the time is right, do you want to know?"

"We still can't make up our minds," Scott said.

Jean added, "We both like the idea of being surprised at the birth. But it would be kind of nice to just know in advance too. We need to keep thinking about it."

The conversation paused and Scott spoke up, "You know what I wish for more than anything? I wish we had a * camera.* It pains me to think that we won't be able to record our baby's early years."

"So there aren't any in the supply room?" Storm asked.

"Jean and I searched the entire room, top to bottom. No cameras whatsoever. No videocameras either."

Jean added, "I hate to say it, but we even searched through some of the crew's quarters in the hopes someone would have brought one. I guess I'm really surprised that no one did."

"What about replicating one?" Storm asked.

"Bobby checked for us and said it would be extremely energy-intensive to do that, and take even more energy to develop the shots. And since we're only replicating necessary items, and the least complex ones….It just wouldn't be right." Jean took a breath. "Oh well. We'll just have to make due with the memories in our heads. I mean, none of us have here the photos of us when we were growing up. I treasure those things," she said, suddenly feeling very wistful, missing her parents and sister. "But the important thing is that we're all alive and together. After what we lived through, I am grateful for that. And I'll be grateful once I have a healthy baby."

* * *

Since we hadn't celebrated Thanksgiving on board the ship, it seemed that the Professor wanted to combine both holidays when we had our Christmas dinner. After he carved and served the replicated turkey, he then asked us to remember our many blessings. Because we came from a variety of different religious backgrounds (as a group, I had discovered, the 11 of us ranged from atheist to Christian to pagan), he did not want to lead us in prayer but did ask everyone to observe a moment of silence for us to consider the things we were grateful for. I closed my eyes and came up with quite an extensive list. The funny thing was, I actually was happier than I ever had been in my life. Some people might consider that insane given the circumstances I lived in, but I knew that for the first time in my life I had a real family.

Once the moment of silence was up, we all began to eat heartily. The number of things we had to be grateful for was a frequent topic of discussion during dinner, though and I contributed my thoughts a lot. As we passed and ate the delicious holiday meal, everyone seemed in a jubilant mood, though the food itself might have been part of it. In order to save energy, we now only replicated less energy-intense food. That meant that we rarely ate meat, since replicating it used a lot of power. But we had decided as a group to make an exception for our holiday dinner, and the non-vegetarians among us really enjoyed the turkey.

"I have an announcement to make," Jubilee said as people ate. "I decided it would be cool to know what the sex of my baby is going to be. So Beast performed this test and….." she paused as people leaned forward in their seats, listening intently, "it's a girl!"

Everyone congratulated Jubilee. Not that we thought the baby's sex mattered so much, but it was a chance to hug Jubilee and express affection for her, and that's what most everyone did. (Myself most enthusiastically included.) I saw Wolverine tenderly hug and kiss her. She was asked what she planned to name the girl, but Jubilee simply said she had a few ideas but wanted to keep them secret until the birth. "May she be as beautiful as her mother," I said. Jubilee smiled from ear to ear, which was awesome to see. And although we had no alcohol (alcohol was energy-intensive to replicate, and we decided to preserve the stash FOH had on board in case we ever would need it for injuries), we toasted Jubilee with our fruit juice and water. The mood became even more festive.

The infirmary was decorated with holiday ice sculptures that I had made. They didn't cost the ship (or me) any energy to make. It took me a while to be able to create clear patterns and make the sculptures attractive, but I had one shaped like a wreath, another like a Christmas tree, a snowman, a candy cane and a reindeer. Everyone heaped much praise on me for the decorations, even though they made the room a bit colder.

"We're lucky," Wolverine said looking at me. "If we ever get really low on energy, we'll always have water."

"Thanks to Bobby, we'd just need to wait for the ice to melt and we'll never go thirsty," Storm added.

By now, everyone knew the identity of the person who was getting them their holiday gift. (Keeping secrets among a group of 11 when you all live together in such close quarters is just impossible.) I witnessed quite a bit of creativity among the items that were exchanged. Almost all the gifts were slips of paper promising favors rather than actual objects. Most of the favors were things the giver would gladly have done "for free", but oh well. My gift to Hank, though, was another ice sculpture. It was a large plaque that read Dr Hank McCoy: Scientist, Doctor, Researcher, OB-GYN and All-Around Great Guy on it. Hank gave me a great bear hug (can he do any other kind?) when I presented it to him. Everyone voiced their agreement with the assessment "all around great guy", and Hank looked sincerely touched.

Colossus was the one who had my name. He had stopped me in the halls a few days before the Christmas dinner and we brainstormed on what he could get me. Finally we agreed that he would teach me a bit of the Russian language. I didn't have a burning desire to learn it but….it came down to the fact that the days were passing more slowly now. Boredom was becoming not unheard of. The Professor had advised me that learning a new skill, such as a foreign language, was a way to keep the mind sharp. Colossus was really enthused at the idea of teaching me his language. We met regularly from then on, and I learned a lot about Russian life and culture, in addition to the language. I also finally saw Peter get a bit more animated, a bit more….human. Colossus always came across as such a stone statue, so unapproachable and wooden. After he had told me stories of his life in Russia and his losing every member of his family, being forced to leave his country and culture, I guess I understood why he didn't want anyone to get too near him. I hadn't known it, but he had dated Shadowcat for a time, and their break up had been a bitter one. He was sad about her death at the hands of FOH during the attack on the mansion. None of us X-men had easy lives at all, and Colossus had certainly suffered his share.

Some of the gifts exchanged were promises of babysitting. Hank pulled Jean's name, and Cyclops had Jubilee's, and the gifts Hank and Cyke gave to their respective recipients were coupons for their babysitting services. Again, I'm sure the givers would have done this "for free" anyway, but it was something.

I do believe that some of the gifts exchanged might have been sexual in nature! Rogue had pulled Gambit's name, and Jean had Cyclops's. Neither woman allowed the group to see what the slip of paper she gave her man was, and much giggling accompanied the exchange. Jean and Scott were both blushing quite furiously.

Gambit had pulled Storm's name, and she made him promise to teach her some of his card tricks. Gambit pretended to be upset at having to reveal his secrets but he was grinning from ear to ear and I knew he was pleased that she would even want to learn. (Or his grinning might have been over the gift he would receive from Rogue, who knows?) Wolverine had to provide a gift to the Professor, and their exchange was a bit secretive too. The Professor handed him some papers that he'd printed off the computer and asked Wolverine to read them. The Canadian said he would. I sure wish I could've know what was on those papers, but I guess I'll never know. Jubilee had pulled Colossus's name, and he asked her to let him hold the baby and sing to the infant. "Is that all?" Jubilee asked, incredulously. "That's easy."

Speaking of singing, the best moment during the gift exchange came when Rogue asked for her gift from the Professor. She required him to sing a bawdy song at the top of his lungs in front of the entire group. She told the group they had been thinking for days of what he could give her, and finally she had decided on this. I was shocked that the Professor actually went along with it! He even added that he wished he could get up and do a dance to accompany his song, but that was impossible. We all laughed so hard during his singing that several of us had tears streaming down our cheeks and my sides ached. I didn't care about being stranded in space, living on a starship, hunted by groups of people who hated us-for me, it definitely the best Christmas I'd ever had.

* * *

Rogue and Gambit were the first to leave the festive gathering, wishing their teammates Merry Christmas and goodnight. The couple held hands as they made their way down the hall to the section of the ship with personnel quarters.

"Okay, sugar," Rogue said, turning to her boyfriend when they stopped outside her room, "Gimme a few minutes to get ready, ok?"

"Ok by me," Gambit said. He walked to his room to retrieve a pair of satiny gloves. He had defied the rule of not replicating anything unnecessary when he secretly replicated the gloves a few nights before. `Dese gloves are necessary,' Gambit had said to himself. `Necessary for the mental health of Rogue an' me.'

When Gambit's watch told him that nearly 10 minutes had gone by, he rapped lightly on Rogue's door. "Is Gambit," he said.

"C'mon in, Sugar," Rogue called.

Gambit entered the room and was surprised to find the lights dimmed. Not totally off, but dimmed. A few candles were burning near the bed. But the biggest surprise occurred when he took a closer look at his beloved. She wore a collar around her neck.

"Chere," he said, words escaping him. "Uh-um, Gambit brought satin gloves to use for the massage."

Rogue looked at him. "Don't go gettin' all excited, Swamp Rat. I ain't puttin' out for you, tonight!" That did not come out at all how Rogue had wanted to and she felt bad. The poor man who she loved so much, he had shown nothing but kindness and love towards her. She stood right next to him and tried to remember Jean's advice. `Just communicate simply and clearly. Tell him upfront….'

"Hey, Remy, I didn't mean to sound so bitchy," Rogue said, her voice apologetic. "I just meant that I-um, thought I'd wear the collar 'cause then you can massage me without having to use the gloves. But you know, as much as I care about you….as much as I love you, I ain't ready for sex now. Like we talked about." There, she said it. Damn, she had to again admit that Jean's advice was useful.

"Gambit understands. I will be good."

"Okay, good." She paused, feeling a bit awkward. "Well, now turn around, will ya? I'm gonna take my shirt off so you can massage my back and shoulders. No peekin'."

Gambit complied, wondering a bit at what he'd gotten himself into. He had taken care of a physical need by himself, not long before dinner. His pre-work didn't seem to matter a great deal now since his body was already reacting. He just took a deep breath and reminded himself that he could do this. He'd done it before during their courtship back at the mansion. And he had fought too long and hard to be back in Rogue's good graces to ruin it all now.

"Okay, I'm ready," Rogue said. She lay facedown on the bed, clad only in sweatpants and socks, the socks keeping her feet warm given the cooler temperature on the ship. Her head was on a pillow, neck turned to one side.

"Gambit's gonna prop your feet up with dis other pillow here," he said, reaching for the other pillow. "Dat will make it more comfortable." Gambit then stood next to her, at her neck and shoulder level. Stooping down to perform the massage would be a little uncomfortable for him, but he didn't see that he had much of a choice since straddling her would be out of the question.

"Okay, here we go," Gambit said as his hands reached for Rogue's shoulders. In that split second that his hands reached for her, his heart leapt and fingers trembled. The only time they had ever touched bare-skin-to-bare-skin was that horrible first night as captives of FOH. They had held hands and stroked each other's faces then. He'd never touched her shoulders and back before.

When Gambit gently placed his hands on her shoulders, Rogue gasped and her muscles tensed up. She shrank back. Gambit quickly withdrew his hands. "Chere? Are you alright?" he asked.

"I-I am. I'm fine," Rogue stammered. "It was just a bit of a shock. It's ok."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she said, as she settled back down. "It's ok," she repeated. "It was just weird feeling your skin against mine. And I had a twinge of fear that it would hurt you till I remembered that the collar takes away my power. I mean, I knew that but….you know. I'm ok though."

Again Gambit placed his warm hands on Rogue's shoulders and left them there for several moments for her to get accustomed to. "How dat feel?" he asked.

Rogue took a deep breath. "Nice," she said at least. "Real nice. You got nice warm hands, Remy."

"Thank you." Gambit then began to slowly massage her neck and shoulders. Rogue closed her eyes and reminded herself to breathe. The sensations were intense. She had been 13 years old when her powers had manifested themselves, rendering her unable to touch anyone. The family she came from hadn't been affectionate anyway, but it had been a huge loss. Since that time, aside from the touching she and Gambit had done their first evening as FOH prisoners, her only other skin-to-skin touching had been when she was raped by the soldiers. That had been an intense and horrid way to experience touch. Years earlier, during her life as an X-man and when she and Gambit were falling in love, her recurring nightmares had involved inadvertently touching Gambit, thereby killing the man she loved. She had to remind herself constantly that the collar would now protect him. All those thoughts swirled through her head as Gambit touched her. She had to keep breathing deeply and let herself enjoy it.

After several moments passed, Gambit again asked, "How you feeling, chere?" His voice was a whisper. .

"Good," Rogue began, groping for words. "Intense. You know I hardly ever been touched before in my life. This is very intense for me. But it feels good too."

"Gambit can tell you got lots of tension in dem muscles."

"Yes," Rogue said. "But keep doin what you're doin, Cajun."

Gambit's cheeks began to burn. Touching Rogue like this was profound for him too. Her skin was smooth and soft. He tried to keep his mind from wandering but that was impossible. He imagined what touching her in other places would be like, how splendid her skin would feel against his. His lips would kiss her from head to toe without that damned satin having to be in the way. Gambit caught himself, took a deep breath, and continued massaging. Rogue herself had said this was intense, and he knew she hadn't meant sexually. There was no way they were doing anything more that evening and he knew it. To even ask would be a violation.

But that was ok with him too. He wanted Rogue to get used to touching and be ok with it. This was a good first step.

"You still feeling good, chere?" Gambit asked after some more time had passed.

"Um-hm," Rogue said, her tone clearly indicating she was still enjoying his work. "Though, Gambit sweetie, you just tell me when your hands are gettin' tired, ok? I know you're at an awkward angle and I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Gambit's doing ok for now," he said. "But if I get tired, I'll tell you, ok?"

"I can't believe that this is *my* gift to *you*," Rogue said. "I feel like I'm the one gettin' a gift here."

"Gambit is glad to do dis, chere. I love bein with you and getting to touch you."

"But maybe someday I can return the favor."

"Gambit would like dat too. Is up to you, amor."

Rogue let Gambit continue to massage her for many more moments. She savored the sensations, while at the same time she endured them….it still was scary to be touched, it still made a twinge of fear rise up in her. The last time she had been touched, it had been a terrible violation of her humanity. She mentally beat the fear back and tried to concentrate on how good it felt. After some time had passed, she said, "Okay, Gambit. That was wonderful. Thank you."

Gambit stopped the massage. "Gambit glad you enjoyed it, chere."

"I feel so relaxed I can fall asleep right now."

"Can Gambit kiss your hand before he goes back to his room?"

"Yes," she said, extending her hand without rising from the bed. Gambit kissed it gently.

"Pleasant dreams, amor," he said.

"Goodnight, my love," Rogue whispered.

* * *

It got really easy to lose track of time, at least for me, and that's what I did. I would say that maybe two months passed since Christmas, possibly more. One day I was eating breakfast I and wondered out loud how long we'd been living on the ship. Jubilee looked down at her belly and said, "Well, Bobby, my baby is due in about nine weeks. So I'd say it's been nearly seven months." Nine weeks? Day by day, you didn't notice the changes in her body so much, but she now looked very pregnant.

I had been a bit surprised that so much time had passed, but then again when I thought of it, I guess I wasn't totally astonished. Life on the ship just seemed normal now. My life back in San Francisco, laying on the beach and doing nothing, seemed like a distant dream. Some days were boring for the 11 of us, but we passed the time talking to each other, playing games, talking about our two upcoming arrivals, and the ever-popular working out.

Our search for dilithium had continued. It amazed me how vast space was, and apparently how sparsely populated it was. "Populated" might have been the wrong word, but we encountered no other starships, and not very many planets. I just had thought we'd run into more...things. I especially expected us to encounter, at some point, other alien races which had the ability to travel through space, but that did not happen. When I asked Hank about this, he reminded me again that space is so immense that it is quite possible that there are hundreds or even thousands of alien races with starships of their own, but given space's size, our paths simply had not crossed. He again used the needle in a haystack analogy.

Fortunately, we found some dilithium on an uninhabited moon. Once we brought it on board and processed it, we estimated that our ship now had enough energy to last 22 months. It hadn't been a huge increase in our supply, but at least it bumped us almost back up to 2 years. But we knew it was imperative that we continue to search. We continued to use our energy saving techniques of keeping the ship's temperature cool, sealing off the areas we did not use, limiting the hours the Danger Room was open, eating lower on the food chain, etc. We also figured that the babies would not require a lot of anything that would drain the ship's supplies. Hank's articles said they can live off breast milk for a long time. We replicated a few maternity outfits, items of baby clothes, cloth diapers, and other supplies.

"We're entering a new solar system," the Professor said one morning during breakfast. "Sensors indicate there are a lot of planets here, and I am hopeful that we can increase our dilithium supply."

"Let us hope," Colossus said. "It would be great if we could have very big increase in ship's supply instead of these small ones."

"All X-men, please report to the infirmary in 20 minutes. We need to have a meeting. Again, all X-men to the infirmary in 20 minutes." Professor X's voice sounded over the speaker system. I sat in the meeting room with Colossus and Jubilee, the three of us playing card games. A couple hours ago, we had entered orbit around the second planet of the new solar system. We all knew that the Professor had been doing the analyses on this planet from the bridge.

The first planet in the new system had had no dilithium. The purpose of the meeting the Professor called must have had to do with this second planet we now circled.

"I wonder what's up," Jubilee said. We looked at each other, trying to not worry.

"It cannot be major emergency, if we being called to sick bay and not bridge," Colossus said.

The three of us walked to sick bay right away. I guess I should say that Jubilee *waddled* instead of walked. Her abdomen was huge now, and I could tell a bit awkward for such a small boned woman. She also told me that heartburn and varicose veins were some of the other joys she was experiencing.

It seemed that everyone had gone straight to the infirmary, just as we had. The only exceptions were Storm, Rogue and Hank who apparently had been swimming and therefore took longer to get there. They were the last three to arrive, their hair dripping wet (which, for Hank, meant * a lot* of water.)

Once we were seated around the table, the Professor began. "As you might have guessed, I called this meeting in regards to the planet we are circling," he began. The Professor took a deep breath. "I will cut to the chase. The planet has huge amounts of dilithium. As you know, it's difficult to say exactly how much until we get it on board and process it. But from these readings, I would estimate the total amount of dilithium to be enough to power us for 7 to 10 years."

We exchanged excited looks with each other. But our excitement was tempered. We knew from the look on the Professor's face that there was going to be a "but" anytime soon.

"Unfortunately," the Professor began. "We have a bit of a dilemma. The planet is heavily populated with humanoid life."

Hank leaned forward in his chair, fascinated. He had been on the bridge, leaning over the controls countless times when we surveyed planets that ended up being little more than lifeless chunks of rocks. This time, however, he had been swimming when the planet was examined. I knew he was eager to get his hands on a computer and absorb as much as he could about the new planet.

"Where are the humanoids located in comparison to the dilithium?" Jean asked.

The Professor smiled. "That is part of the dilemma. There are four major landmasses on the planet. Humanoids occupy two of them, and they are the same two continents that contain dilithium. The landmass with the largest amount of dilithium is heavily populated. The computer can't get an exact estimate, but there might be as many as 500,000 humanoids, not counting a huge amount of animal life too.

"Now, normally," he continued, "we would have to abandon any thoughts of taking their dilithium. We can't take anything from an area where humanoids are living. Aside from the fact that we would be stealing, if they saw us-it would alter the course of their history. But things are a little murky in this situation." He paused. "The humanoids on this landmass are clustered in several major areas. The dilithium is in an area where no humanoids live. Plant and animal life exists there, but it is an area far from the humanoids."

"How far?" Storm asked.

"Do the humanoids travel to the area with dilithium?" Hank asked.

"Let me answer Hank's question first," the Professor said. "The answer is no. As far as I can tell, the humanoids are at a relatively primitive stage of their evolution. They appear to have some sailing equipment but no electricity. They have no vehicles that are capable of traversing great distances over land. It is probably best if I show you instead of tell."

The Professor moved away from the table and to the computer. He showed us a map of the areas that the humanoids clustered in and where the dilithium was located. All I can say is that there was a huge gap between the two. The dilithium was really far from where the people lived.

"If I were to speculate," the Professor said. "I think it is completely possible that the humanoids will migrate to the areas where the dilithium deposits are….but that migration is unlikely to take place for…..centuries. Of course the bottom line is that we don't know. For all we know, several geniuses will suddenly spring up, their civilizations will invent means of traveling great distances quickly."

"So the question becomes," Cyclops began, "is it morally right for us to take their dilithium?"

The Professor nodded. "They are not using it now. Indeed, they are unaware of its existence. The evidence indicates it is unlikely that they will become aware of its existence anytime in the foreseeable future."

Hank shook his head. "Speculating on the situation could drive one mad. What if we were to take all their dilithium and 200 years down the road, the dilithium had been destined to save their planet from some threat?"

"Of course," Cyclops said, "the other side to your speculation, Hank, is: what if the dilithium had been destined to cause great harm to the people? Then if we took it, we would've been doing them a favor."

Jean asked, "What if we took just *some* of their dilithium? Couldn't we do that without potentially harming them?"

"We could," Hank said. "I guess it all comes down to the question: is any meddling in the course of their planet appropriate? Because if the answer is no, then even taking * some* of their dilithium is potentially altering the course of their history."

I listened intently, glancing at the looks on the faces of my teammates. I know that not all members of the X-men are as interested in speculation. Not all of them enjoy analyzing the consequences of every move, or chewing on arguments about altering the course of a planet's destiny. Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit exchanged a number of looks with each other.

"Lemme make sure I got this straight," Wolverine finally said. "The people on the planet ain't usin' the dilithium. In fact, they don't even know it's there." He paused. "What's the problem?"

"Especially if we jus' take *some* of the dilithium," Gambit added. "We'll leave a bunch of it dere, so if they ever do discover it, it's dere."

"They're right." Rogue said. "Say I'm livin' in a big house that I inherited and my granddaddy had some old tool in the basement. I don't even know the tool is there, and if I saw it, I wouldn't ever know what to do with it. Do I care if someone takes it? No."

Storm took a deep breath. "I think they do have some good arguments there," she said, looking at the Professor. "And as I see it….it all comes down to the fact that we *need* the dilithium. We only have enough left for 22 months and 22 months is not a long amount of time. It will be here before we know it, and we have not encountered a lot of other sources for this precious material. We have surveyed over 20 planets and moons in the last 7 months and have very little to show for it. If we don't radically increase our supplies soon….we'll need to head back to earth."

"Yeah," Wolverine added, "and we know what waits for us there. The FOH are in control of everything. Those bastards made us out to be the criminals. We are responsible for the deaths of 200 of their people. If we're lucky, we get a trial and execution from the US government. If we're not lucky, FOH will execute us their way."

His words sent a chill throughout the room. Jeanne Marie's report had stayed with us all these months. The copies of her report had been placed in a cabinet inside sick bay, but the terror had stayed with us all. Wolverine's words had convinced me.

Cyclops spoke up, "He has a great point. And you know, as important as it is to speculate on the ramifications of our actions and keep in mind the interests of the humanoids on the planet…..For all we know, everyone on this planet is going to die in a famine next year. Or their star will go nova next century. Or there could be a war to wipe out all the life on their planet. There are a number of possible scenarios in which everyone on the planet could perish before the inhabitants ever even discover the dilithium."

"That is true, Scott," Hank began, "but remember. Any time we tamper in the natural evolution of a planet, the consequences can be profound. What if aliens had come to earth millennia ago and taken some of our natural resources?"

"For all we know," Rogue began, "they have!" I could tell she was getting impatient. "This is all speculation and the bottom line is that we don't know what the natural destiny for this planet is going to be."

"If there is a cosmic plan," Jean said, "maybe we are part of it. Maybe there is a reason why we're at this planet now."

People talked over a few of these points again before the Professor said, "We haven't heard from everyone yet. Jubilee, Colossus, Bobby…what do you think?"

I spoke first, "I've listened to what everyone has said. I think we should take half of the dilithium. If they ever need it, then it wasn't like we wiped out their supplies."

"I agree," Jubilee said.

Colossus nodded. "I agree too. We will never know cosmic plan or future of this planet. But this action-taking half their dilithium-will not do them harm. It is not like we taking their water."

We talked it over some more until everyone was comfortable with what we decided to do. I could tell that the Professor and Hank were least comfortable with it, but we did decide to take roughly half the planet's dilithium.

The next several hours we spent working, learning as much as we could about the planet. Half of us were working from the computers on the bridge and half of us on the computers in sick bay, and most of us shuttling between the two areas. Everyone was abuzz with the excitement, especially since the last few months had been so uneventful. As we studied more, we learned that dilithium on the planet was abundant, and the Professor's original estimate of enough to last us 7 to 10 years may have actually been * low.*

And we found out some pretty awesome things about the planet itself. It was similar to earth, but without the pollution or development. All the air would be breathable for us; in fact, our analyses indicated it would be far superior to air on earth as it was not at all polluted. The planet had some particularly beautiful areas-fresh air, warm climate, water, lots of vegetation. It was incredible. We all gasped and exchanged smiles as we looked over the data.

At one point, I sat at a terminal on the bridge, with Cyclops and the Professor looking over my shoulder as I pulled off the reports. Pictures from the planet's surface, specifically the areas with the dilithium, were showing on my screen.

"Professor, look at this," Cyke said. "You know….the team really needs a vacation. We've been cooped up here for seven months." He pointed to an area of the screen. "This area near the dilithium is completely uninhabited by humanoids."

I had to jump in, "And the temperature right now is 70 degrees and sunny!"

The Professor smiled. Maybe cabin fever was as annoying to him as it was to the rest of us. "These pictures are gorgeous. We've more than earned a vacation," he said, smiling.

Word that we'd be spending some time on the planet's surface spread, and excitement on board the ship continued to grow. My heart swelled with happiness. Warm sun, swimming outside in a lake, fresh air, flowers, trees…..oh, it was like a dream!

We did learn, however, that it wouldn't be perfect. The planet's atmosphere was subject to some pretty severe magnetic field storms. Our own Storm said that, based on the data we accumulated about them, these storms might be too powerful for her to control. None of us had ever seen or heard of anything quite as powerful as these storms.

In fact, Storm tried to control the storms from the ship but she was unable to. She didn't look too happy about not being able to deal with them, but we reminded her that the data clearly indicated that these fierce storms were nothing remotely like the ones on earth. Storm did some tests just to make sure there was nothing wrong with her powers. There wasn't-they worked just like ever before.

The magnetic field storms would make travelling to the planet's surface tricky. After discussing a number of different approaches, we decided it would be best to land the ship on the planet, load up the dilithium, and take off again. The storms were so severe that we decided not to risk using the transporter. We chanced losing the dilithium that way.

Hank worked on immunizations which would protect us from contracting any diseases from the planet's surface.

"So this is where it stands right now," Cyclops said to the group. "Currently there is a huge atmospheric storm going on right now. It should be over in about 48 hours, and then it looks like the next storms won't start up again for 14 days. So we can get down there, load up the dilithium….and have a little vacation." Those words really brought smiles to the faces of the group. "Then we'll take off again."

Everyone was delighted with the plan. We estimated that loading up the dilithium would take a day at the most. So almost two weeks to get down there and cavort in the sun! Someone even got the idea to set up tents and camp there, so we could sleep outside. The mood on the ship was extremely joyous. During dinner that evening, everyone was laughing and joking. Even the ever-grumpy Wolverine looked happy.

After dinner, we raided the supply room. FOH had tons of camping supplies-tents, canteens, sunblock -everything we might need. We started packing and getting it ready to go, along with the bathing suits I had replicated for the group. Excitement was at a fever pitch, and I don't think I'd ever seen Wolverine looking quite so happy.

The ship we were on-and, according to computer records, the others similar to them-was intended for long term space missions. Landing and taking off were not activities that they were designed to do frequently. Therefore, Cyclops and Hank had spent a lot of time during the last two days performing simulated take-offs and landings. They were the best pilots we had. Everything had gone smoothly during the many simulations they performed.

And everything went smoothly during the actual landing. Cyclops, Hank, Storm and Jean sat on the bridge, strapped in their seats, as Cyclops navigated the ship down to the surface. The rest of us sat together in engineering, as it had numerous seats with safety belts and we could easily monitor the bridge. I guess because the vessel is so big, I didn't really feel anything until we got closer and closer to the planet's surface. As the descent continued, the ship did shake quite a bit and we were all glad for our safety belts.

Jubilee sat closest to Wolverine, and I saw her reach for his hand at one point and put it against her abdomen. "She's moving!" she told Wolverine. Wolverine smiled, though the expression on his face was hard to read. I kinda liked it when Jubilee let me feel the baby moving. She'd done it a few times and I thought it was cool.

Our descent continued and we touched the planet's surface. We all were thrown forward in our seats, restrained by the belts. "You call that a landing?" Wolverine muttered, apparently at Cyclops, even though he was on the bridge and Wolverine said it too low for the intercom to pick up.

Soon the ship stopped shaking, and Jean's voice from the bridge came over the intercom, "How are you guys down there?"

"Everything's fine down here," the Professor said.

Soon, we were up and around. The plan was to collect as much dilithium as we could first thing, using the ship's loading equipment. We also knew that too many cooks would spoil the soup. Cyclops, Storm, Rogue, Wolverine, and Colossus were a more than ample-sized team to handle loading the dilithium. They didn't need any more than five people working on it; others would have gotten in the way. They got to the planet's surface first and began their work.

The rest of us decided to stick together and go have a look at the planet.

"Whoa, I need sunglasses!" Jubilee said as the remaining six of us went down the exit ramp together. My eyes also were completely unused to the bright sun. After a few moments, though, we adjusted. The sun was strong but not glaring. I inhaled a deep breath and drank in the fresh air. It was incredible! I can't quite describe it. There's nothing * wrong* with the air on the ship, but this air was fragrant, clear, crisp….it was beautiful. I knew I must've experienced fresh air back on earth but this air was different even than in San Francisco. It smelled like nature, like purity, like happiness. I noticed the others doing a lot of inhaling and exhaling. Jean had her arms spread out and head thrown back as she took in the outdoors.

I looked around. We had landed in a large clearing next to the large rocks of unprocessed dilithium. Surrounding the clearing were trees, tall and majestic. Their green color was gorgeous. I looked up and saw birds flying overhead against the fluffy clouds, the warm sun in the background. We also knew there was animal life nearby but none of it dangerous.

Experiencing these things after seven months on board a starship was overwhelming. Hank and Jean both started reciting poetry, they were so moved. Hank later got me a copy of his poem:

"`To fling my arms wide

In some place of the sun

To whirl and to dance

'Til the white day is done.

Then rest at cool evening

Beneath a tall tree

White night comes on gently,

Dark like me

That is my dream'"

"That was beautiful," Jubilee said.

"`Dream Variation' by Langston Hughes," Hank explained.

"There's a lake this way," the Professor said. "It should be about a ten minute walk. Or," he smiled, "ten minute ride for me."

We used our communicators to tell the five who worked on retrieving dilithium where we were going. I really felt bad for Cyclops, Storm, Rogue, Wolverine, and Colossus at this point-imagine having to work instead of enjoy this. That was one sub-team I was sure glad I wasn't asked to be on!

We made our way through the trees. My head started to reel at one point, as all my senses were alive and buzzing. Hearing us step on twigs, feeling the warm sun and a cool breeze, smelling the fresh dirt on the ground-it was a beautiful experience. I knew we weren't supposed to touch things too much (we'd been immunized but you never knew), but I couldn't resist reaching out and just caressing some of the trees and plants. The planet was amazingly similar to earth-the beautiful areas of earth, that is. The tree bark felt just like tree bark at home.

The trees cleared and we came to a small lake. Again, it was gorgeous. The water sparkled, reflecting the sunlight.

"I feel like I'm in the Garden of Eden," Jean mused.

"What are the different seasons here like?" Jubilee asked.

"Their year is about 14 months long," I said, easily recalling the facts I had read. "In this area of the planet, what we would call summer makes up about 10 of those months. We're in the middle of summer now. Spring and fall are very brief. Winter is maybe two months long and it rarely gets colder than 50. No snow or ice."

"During this part of the year," Hank began, "at nighttime it will dip to the low 60's in temperature. Low but manageable. We'll be fine in our tents."

Jean added, "I read that not all areas of the planet are quite this idyllic. Like earth, I guess, it has its good spots and bad ones. We're just fortunate to be here."

"I would sure love to know more about the humanoids on this planet," Hank began. "I know that studying them is not possible. But what I wouldn't give to learn about their culture, their ways. Are they similar to us or vastly different?"

We continued to speculate and savor the outdoors for quite some time. We eventually made our way back to the ship, and began pitching tents and setting up camp. It actually felt good to be doing some work as I felt a little guilty compared to the five who were quickly but arduously loading dilithium. We set up the tents in a circle, and in the middle we made an area that we could use for a campfire.

"That's it," Cyclops said, when the group was done loading the dilithium. "We left over half the dilithium on the planet. And we have enough on board to ship to supply us for…." he paused for emphasis, "over seven years!"

The group erupted in cheers. This was wonderful! Lots of high-fives, back slapping and other cheers were exchanged.

"Let's celebrate with dinner!" the Professor said. Jean, Hank, and I began bringing the dinner we'd prepared out from the ship. There was this nifty dinner tray type thing that we loaded the food, plates, napkins, etc onto. It was still too warm to start a fire, but we sat in a circle around the campfire area anyway as we ate.

As I took my first bite of food and listened to the Professor talk about some of the beautiful sites we'd seen, out of the corner of my eyes I jealously glanced at the couples. Gambit sat up, with Rogue reclining against him. She was tired from her long day at work. He fed her. Cyclops and Jean were similarly together, with him practically in her lap. She rubbed his shoulders and fussed over him. Not long after I had rejoined the X-men, Jubilee had told me that practically half the team felt major envy over Scott and Jean's relationship. Now I could see why. I hated the thought that I'd never have that kind of love in my life, but it sure didn't look too likely.

"It's still light out," Storm said. She was in a half-reclined position, resting from her day of work too, as she leisurely ate her dinner. "Perhaps we can go swimming when we're done eating."

"That's an awesome idea!" Jubilee said.

Almost as soon as the dishes and dinner tray had been returned to the ship, we started changing into our swimwear. Most of the team then headed for the lake together. Colossus stayed behind at camp with the Professor, saying he preferred to rest. Rogue and Gambit said they would not be joining us for a swim, as they wanted to take a walk instead. So Wolverine, Jubilee, Storm, Cyclops, Jean, Hank, and I strolled towards the lake. We wore our swimwear under our clothes and carried towels. When we reached the lake, we stripped off our outwear and spread out the towels.

"I would much rather swim naked," Storm told the group. "But propriety demands I wear this suit. I cannot promise to do it every time though."

Wolverine smiled, "I'd prefer to be naked too. Something' about bein outdoors makes me want to get naked."

Hank chuckled, "Perhaps we'll discover two lakes, and then we can have one where swimwear is required and another where it is optional."

Cyclops and Jean didn't look overly thrilled at Storm and Wolverine's sentiments-watching their reactions, I had to stifle a grin.

I glanced at Jean and noticed that she had gained a good amount of weight. She wasn't far enough along in her pregnancy to be "showing" when she wore normal clothes, but in a bathing suit Jean was now thick around the midsection. Jubilee wore a big T-shirt over what must have been bikini bottoms, since no regular suit would fit her now.

I felt a bit self-consciousness about wearing swimming clothes around some of the other guys-I always do. I'm much smaller in stature than they are. I'm about 5'9" and have a slender build. I have some muscle definition but not a whole lot. Cyclops and Gambit, on the other hand, are both just over 6 feet tall and muscular-well-built chests, shoulders, legs, etc. Colossus must be about 6'5" and is even more bulked up. And Wolverine might be very short, but he was extremely muscular. I certainly enjoyed the views. As always, though, I'm good at averting my eyes and just taking quick glances at men. I've got it down to an art where I can look at them without being noticed.

Storm was the first adventurous one to head into the water. "The water is slightly warm," she told us. "It feels good."

That was all the encouragement I needed. I went in right after her, and the others soon followed. It was delicious. Being outside, seeing the trees and sky overhead beat swimming in the pool on board the ship any day. We could even hear birdsong. We all played and frolicked in the water. Aside from the physical joy of the experience, it was really awesome to see Cyclops really loosen up and Wolverine look happy. You don't see those things every day. We played some water games, dunking each other and such.

I never wanted to leave, and neither did the others. The Professor called to check in on us, and told us that sunset was approaching. We grudgingly knew we had to call it a day if we didn't want to freeze. We made our way back to camp, wrapped in towels, dripping on the ground. I helped Hank squeeze out some of the excess water from his fur. When your body is covered with thick fur, it doesn't matter how dexterous you are; you're gonna need help getting the all that water off.

I would've offered to also help Wolverine with this task too but didn't think it was appropriate. His hair wasn't as thick or dense as Hank's fur, but his body was covered with it. As far as I could see only Wolverine's palms, the soles of his feet, and parts of his face had no hair.

When we reached the camp, we entered the ship to dry off and change. I mused that we really had the best of both worlds here. Showers, bathrooms, food, and other amenities on the ship, and nature was just a walk down the ramp away.

"We might never want our vacation to end," Storm said as she settled around the campfire. Several others nodded along with her.

"Hey, guys," I began to the group, though looking at our three leaders, "since we've increased our dilithium supply so much…..can I replicate some marshmallows? We could roast them over the fire."

"What a great idea!" Jubilee said. "How `bout just this once? As a celebration?"

The Professor, Cyclops and Storm exchanged looks. I added, "It really doesn't take a whole lot of energy. Maybe we could just replicate one or two for each of us. That requires such a tiny amount of energy…." My stomach-and I'm sure others-started grumbling. We rarely ate sweets now since they weren't nutritious and we'd been so good about conserving energy.

Storm nodded at the Professor and Cyclops. "Go for it," Cyke said. Smiles were exchanged around the group.

It look just a few minutes, and I returned with 22 marshmallows on a plate. Others had scrounged up some sticks, and we happily began roasting them over the fire.

Rogue and Gambit were still on their walk, so we made sure to save them each two.

We had four tents and eventually began discussing who would sleep where. Cyclops and Jean got one tent. We decided as a group to give Rogue and Gambit another, hoping they'd agree when they returned from the quite long walk they'd been on. The remaining 7 of us had to be split up among the other two tents. Each tent was large enough to fit four, so that wasn't a problem. Jubilee kinda made the decision for the group when she asked Storm and I to room with her.

It had been a wonderful, but long, day. I was glad to enter the tent and surprised at how tired I felt as I rolled out my sleeping bag. Storm and Jubilee were rolling out their sleeping bags too.

"Are you going to be comfortable sleeping on the sleeping bag?" I asked Jubilee.

"It should be ok. I figure if I do get really uncomfortable I can always go to my room on the ship," she answered. "Though my back has been hurting lately. It would be really cool if one of you would rub my back."

"I'd be glad to," I said. "Since you, Storm, have been working so hard all day."

Jubilee lay on her side and I got behind her and gave her a massage. We'd done this before and she really liked it.

"I'm changing into my pajamas," Storm told us. She was behind us, and I made sure not to turn around until she told us she was changed. Not that she seemed to mind if anyone saw her naked, judging from what she'd said before.

"Oh, um, speaking of pajamas," I said as Storm changed. "I usually sleep in my underwear. Is that going to offend anyone?"

Storm chuckled, "Nudity doesn't bother me one bit. If you wanted to sleep naked, I certainly would not object.."

Jubilee giggled, "I'm just *so* offended by the thought of getting a glimpse of you in your underwear! It might give me nightmares!"

I laughed at her sarcasm, "Okay, cool," I said. At this point, I was really grateful to Jubilee for asking me to room with her, so I didn't have to be in a tent with three other guys. "Thank you for asking me to room with you," I told her.

"Thank you for what you're doing now," she said to me. "You do it very well."

"I'm glad to," I said. "How's your back been lately anyway?"

"Good and bad. Having this basketball in front of me makes me lean back when I walk. Or waddle, I should say. That's been putting the strain on my back. Some days it's worse than others."

Eventually the three of us settled down and went to bed. As I was drifting off to sleep, I'm not sure if I dreamed it or not but I thought I heard some very sensual sounds coming from other people's tents.

* * *

Rogue and Gambit held hands as they explored the new area. The Professor asked them to use their communicators to check in periodically, and they remembered to do so a couple times.

"Come dis way," Gambit said, leading them. "I think dis here would be a nice place to watch the sun go down."

"I wonder if the sunsets here are as beautiful as the ones on earth," Rogue mused.

"Dey gotta be. Everythin' else here more beautiful den on earth." He paused. "But nothin' here as beautiful as you, amor." He brought her gloved hand to his lips and kissed it.

Rogue smiled and blushed, clearly adoring his words. "You're as smooth as hog fat, mister."

"Is dat a compliment?" Gambit asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Well, it ain't meant badly. And I like it, sugar."

They sat on the green grass, Gambit placing his arm around Rogue's waist. She nestled her head on his shoulder. Indeed the sunset on this planet rivaled anything on earth. As the sun went down, hues of gold and dark red radiated against the sky.

"Mother nature is braggin'," Rogue murmured.

Gambit chuckled. "Been a long time since I ever seen anything dis beautiful. Except for-"

"Except for me," Rogue finished for him, smiling. She was deciding that she could take this kind of praise. Part of her wanted to discount any compliments but she reminded herself of some advice Storm had given her to keep her heart open and accept them.

"Exactly, chere." He paused. "We're such a long way from home. It's beautiful here but is hard to think of how far we be from earth."

"Colossus said today if we were to go at warp 5-which is like the ship's highest speed-it would take us about 5 months to get back to earth."

"Do you feel homesick, chere?"

"Naw. They don't want us back there. People hate us, and all the work we did didn't change that one little bit. Sometimes I miss the life we had back at the mansion. But I never sit around wishing I was on earth." She paused. "What about you, Remy?"

"I miss life at the mansion too. I don't miss all the fighting we X-men did all the time 'dough. Gambit tired of Sinister and Magneto and Apocalypse. And really tired of Friends of Humanity. But life at the mansion was good. Dis life good too, though. Maybe we don't need to go back."

"Someday I wanna do what Storm once said. Go back and rescue mutants from earth. Take `em somewhere else and start anew."

"Gambit likes dat idea."

"The Professor would never go for it though. Dontcha know deep down he still thinks we can go home someday and convince people to accept us."

"Dat his dream, chere. It's hard to give up on a dream."

"Mmmmm," she said by way of reply, snuggling further against Gambit. "You're so nice and warm."

"So are you."

They continued to hold each other and watch the sunset. Darkness slowly filled in around them. "I brought a flashlight," Rogue said.

"Is dat what's in dat duffel bag you brought?"

"That's not all that's in there," Rogue said. Gambit furred his brows in curiosity but Rogue didn't elaborate further. She simply said, "Gambit, I'd like you to kiss me goodnight."

"I'd like to do dat too. Did you bring some satin we can kiss through?"

"Naw. I brought a collar instead."

Gambit's heart leapt. To be able to actually kiss Rogue! Incredible. The only time they'd ever kissed before, unencumbered by her powers, was in the cell as FOH prisoners. This would be so much better.

Rogue reached through the bag and placed the collar around her neck. Given the last time she'd used it, it no longer brought back such terrifying memories. It didn't feel totally comfortable either though. "Okay, Swamp Rat, how we gonna do this?"

"Gambit could lay propped up on his side. You can lean into me."

Rogue liked the idea but didn't like what such a position could lead to. In the fading light, Gambit caught the look on her face. "Or we could both stand and face each other," he suggested.

"I like that better," she said. She got to her feet and offered Gambit her hand. She helped him up.

The couple faced each other and stepped into a hug. The warmth and tenderness felt so good. Rogue tilted her head back and looked at Gambit's face. "I love you, chere," he said.

"I love you too, Remy." He brought his face towards hers and gently covered her lips with his. He had been planning on the kiss lasting much longer, but the second after his lips brushed hers, Rogue gasped and pulled back.

"You okay, chere?"

"That was amazing! Oh my god. Your lips were on top of mine!"

"How did it feel?"

"It felt….shocking. But I don't remember `cause it was only an instant."

"Gambit would like to kiss you again. Dis one can last longer."

Rogue nodded, her system still feeling shocked but delighted. As she learned towards him for another kiss, her treacherous mind replayed a revolting image. A few of the soldiers who raped her had covered her mouth with theirs', slobbering over her, forcing their tongues in her mouth. It had been disgusting. What if-?

Her thoughts were cut off by Gambit's lips against hers again. This was different. This was totally different. She knew that now.

What she didn't really know was how to kiss, so she allowed Gambit to take the lead. But soon she felt the need to part her lips, and she did so. Gambit's tongue gently danced against her lower lip. "Oh, chere, dat feel so good," Gambit murmured. "You like it too, yes?"

"Yes," Rogue said, breathless. "Yes. Um….can we do it one more time?"

"Yes," Gambit said. He cupped her head in his hands and murmured something in French. Rogue's only knowledge of French came from sweet nothings Gambit had whispered over the years, and she knew he was telling her how beautiful she was. They kissed again, soft lips against soft lips. Rogue again opened her lips, and Gambit softly caressed her bottom lip and lightly brushed against Rogue's tongue before withdrawing.

When the kiss was over, Rogue pulled back. The day had almost been too much-experiencing the beauty of nature and now this. Her head whirled and she tried to keep her breathing steady. "Soon," she whispered to her love. "Not now, but soon."

Gambit had been a bit distraught when they returned to camp and saw that they'd been assigned to share a tent. He said that he was returning to the ship for a moment to use the bathroom, and knew he'd need the time to take care of an equally pressing physical need too. When he returned to the tent, Rogue was asleep, her collar off. Gambit crawled into his sleeping bag several feet away from Rogue's, and fell into a most content sleep.

Meanwhile, the two inhabitants of another tent were not sleeping. "Mmmmmm….that feels nice," Jean breathed. Scott was massaging lotion onto her breasts and belly. Her nipples were now darker and the area around them larger.

"Remember that article Beast gave us that said to massage your nipples if you plan to breastfeed," Scott whispered. His fingers massaged her breasts, playing close attention to her nipples.

/We should be in good shape, then, since you've been doing this for years./ Jean spoke into Scott's mind directly. She knew how much he loved to stroke her breasts and always had. Scott dipped his head and tenderly sucked her nipples, delighting in the sensations. His tongue picked up traces of the lotion, which didn't taste too good, but he brushed aside thinking about that, absorbed in his joyous task.

He didn't want to lift his head from what he was doing so he spoke into her mind. /I'm so happy, Jeanie. I can't believe we're finally going to have a baby together. I'll have the family that I never had when I was a child./

/You'll be a wonderful father, Scott. I can hardly wait myself./

Later, they lay together like spoons, Scott's hardness probing her wet depths. One of his hands reached around to rub her throbbing little bud as he moved his hips with increasing speed. Jean tried desperately to keep her moans quiet but a few slipped out, and she cried out when a deep and intense climax overwhelmed her. Scott was so enveloped in bliss that he forgot to be embarrassed at the thought of being overheard.

* * *

Our vacation was awesome! Never in my life did so many days fly by so quickly, especially considering that so few activities were done during those days. No one wanted to spend any time aboard the ship. We replicated food, showered, used the bathrooms there and that's about it. We ate and slept around the campfire. Our days were spent swimming for hours on end in the lake and walking for hours on end. Quite often we'd just lay around together, simply absorbing the fresh air and sunlight, and talking with each other-also for hours on end. I'd say it rained maybe two or three times, never lasting more than an hour. The temperature was consistently in the low 70's but never humid. Even on the days when it rained the sun always made a comeback. Maybe this truly *was* the Garden of Eden as Jean had called it.

I accompanied Hank a few times as he collected samples to study. He was always extraordinarily careful to not disturb the surroundings, meticulously taking one small leaf off a plant or a small dirt sample. Even a dedicated scientist as he, however, spent very little time in the lab. He preserved the samples and then returned to the campsite outside. He needed the outdoors as much as we all did.

Once Hank and I were laying around by the campsite and I made a comment about the fur which covered his body being matted. He then asked me to brush it out. I was a bit taken aback that he asked, but I was glad to do it. Hank enjoyed it so much he was practically purring. We started doing it semi-regularly. He'd lay down and I'd brush him out. The old Bobby would've been like, "Hank, are you sure you want me to do this? Like what if people see us and think that….well, you know…I'd be so embarrassed for you." He and I even joked about that being how the old Bobby would've reacted. But now I honestly didn't worry about that one bit.

Storm watched us once and offered to take over with brushing Hank. Picking up the brush, she smiled and said, "I never knew you enjoyed this, Beast. Why didn't you ask someone to do this before?"

Hank chuckled, "I never would have dreamed of asking, but the ever-candid Mr. Drake one day remarked that my coat was looking a bit….what was the term you used, Bobby?-shaggy? He offered to groom me and I am ever thankful for his candor. Being brushed is an experience I enjoy." The brushing of Hank continued to become a regular part of our days, and others also offered to do it. I saw Jean, Storm, and even Colossus (!) doing it on occasion.

"Can I decorate your pelt with little bows?" I asked during one of our brushing sessions.

Hank gave me the look he gives when I say something insane. "Or what about curling your fur? We could replicate a curling iron and give it some fetching curls!"

Hank gave me another look and said under his breath, "Your humor escapes me, Bobby." The Professor and Jubilee were sitting nearby during this particular exchange, and they both cracked up.

During the many walking excursions we went on, none of us ever saw any large animals. Birds were abundant, as were small animals. We glimpsed animals resembling squirrels and chipmunks, and occasionally saw an animal resembling a small deer. But they all fled when they saw us and we never examined one up close.

I truly had never seen Wolverine so happy. I guess he's meant to be outdoors and not cooped up in a starship all day. Storm was cheerful too. She had suffered from claustrophobia since she was a child, and while she didn't enjoy living on a starship, she could deal with it ok since the ship was so big. However, clearly she preferred this.

Storm and Rogue both were both, of course, gifted with the ability to fly and they took turns taking anyone who wanted it on a flying trip. It was awesome! We couldn't go too far as we didn't want to risk coming anywhere near the area where humanoids lived and having them spot us. But it had to have been one of the greatest thrills in my life when Rogue carried me in her arms and flew. She'd zoom around, the wind blowing in our faces. At first I was too afraid to look down and I simply let myself enjoy the speed. But I got comfortable with the knowledge she wouldn't drop me, and I let myself look down. That was incredible, seeing the tree tops. Rogue laughed and said she rarely got to use her ability for enjoyment; it usually had been used on dangerous missions.

I noticed that Rogue spent an awful lot of time flying around with Gambit though. She sure looked happier than I'd ever seen, and so did he. I must admit to a small pang of jealousy because ever since Rogue had warmed back up to Gambit, he spent less time with me. But it was ok. It wasn't like he never spent time with me, and the three of us did hang out together at times.

But I won't dwell on my bit of jealousy since the predominant emotion for me, and everyone else, was happiness. I didn't need to be a telepath to pick up on that. Scott and Jean were like overjoyed with their impending arrival. Practically every time I saw them, they were smiling. And I gotta say I never saw two people so in love in my life….even from the way they looked at each other, you knew. The only person who didn't seem totally thrilled was the Professor. Oh, I'm not saying he was unhappy for anything like that. But he did look a little wistful at times. I'm sure it had to do with being away from earth and everything he'd lost there. I'm sure he was the most attached to it of all of us.

None of us ever expressed a desire to be at home…or even to be anywhere else.

One day, Hank, Jean and Scott, and Storm and Jubilee held one of their meetings around the campfire. The group, I knew, met regularly in sick bay to discuss all things pregnancy and childbirth but I'd never listened in on one of their meetings before. I mean, since they'd always met in sick bay, it wasn't like you'd just happen to pass through there. But this time they decided they might as well meet outdoors since we did everything else there.

Jean and Scott were totally psyched because they said they had (or, I guess, *Jean* had) felt the baby move. They were excited. She said she was about 18-19 weeks along now. I heard her say she was getting cramps in her legs and feet when she woke up, which-from all the articles they'd read-she thought was from disturbed circulation, which often happens to pregnant women. Other than that, she said she physically felt pretty good.

"How are you feeling today, Jubilee?" Hank asked.

"At this point, I just want it to be over! I've got more than seven weeks to go and I'm just sick of it now. I mean, overall it hasn't been bad but now every joint in my body is swollen and my back is killing me," she said. "I can't believe I still have to wait seven more weeks." She paused. "And at the same time, I'm scared because I can't believe I am going to have a baby that's going to be my responsibility to take care of. A real actual baby."

I thought it was cool to listen to them, and they didn't mind that others were sitting near them during their discussion. I was excited. Well, mostly excited. I was scared too. I had asked Hank once before whether Jubilee was….big enough for childbirth. She's so petite. He told me he was concerned about her small frame, especially since we didn't know how big the father was. But I felt reassured when he said if he had to, he would do a C-section. Well, * mostly* I felt reassured…..Hank had never done a C-section before. I tried to push any worries out of my head.

* * *

"Hey Cajun," Rogue said. She approached Gambit who was sitting against a tree one late morning, playing Solitaire. A mild breeze occasionally wafted by, and a few of his cards would drift.

"Chere," he said, looking up.

"Can't find anyone to play cards with ya?"

"No, no one's up for a game. They all swimmin right now, `cept Jubilee who's napping."

"Speakin' of swimming, sugar,…do you wanna go swimming with me after dinner?"

"Love to, chere. Why after dinner `dough?"

"'Cause no one else goes swimming after dinner. We'll have some privacy. And, um…." she paused, her cheeks flushed, "the collars are water proof."

Gambit's eyes widened. "Is a date, 'den," he managed so say before she scampered off. He watched her go, his head spinning. She'd worn the collar so they could kiss a few times now during their vacation, letting him know beforehand-in no uncertain terms-that she intended to do nothing more than kiss. But the way she'd looked at him this morning….could she mean…..? His well-honed instincts told him that she indeed meant what he hoped.

The day passed excruciatingly slowly for Gambit. "Is it lunchtime yet?" he kept asking Wolverine, who had been assigned lunch duty that day. Wolverine raised an eyebrow the second time the Cajun asked. The afternoon was worse. Gambit took a long walk with Jean and Scott, and didn't hear one word the couple said (he knew it was mostly going to be about pregnancy anyway.) After the walk, he approached Storm and asked her when dinner would be ready. She scrunched her brows together and said, "Gambit, we have more than four hours before dinner." He then talked Bobby into playing cards with him, and afterwards approached Storm again. Storm just gave him an odd look and said, "If you're that hungry, make yourself a snack." Gambit got so bored that he even offered to help Beast with his research. Beast's goal for the day was to collect samples of bird feathers that had fallen to the ground. After crawling around in the dirt for some time, looking for tiny feathers, he asked Beast what time he thought it might be and how close they were to dinner. Beast replied that there were about two hours and 15 minutes to go before dinner. "Mon dieu! That long?" exclaimed Gambit. Beast wondered why he was so eager for dinner. Later, Gambit asked Jean to test her levitation powers by floating him around. Jean raised an eyebrow, "Well, alright," she said, "I could use the practice." She created a bubble and floated Gambit around, over the trees, for a bit. After that, Gambit tested the dilithium they had taken from the planet to ensure it had been processed correctly. The Professor really looked surprised when Gambit volunteered for that task, especially since the dilithium had already been tested and such work was not exactly Gambit's favorite type.

After an eternity, dinner was ready and the group assembled in their circle to eat. Jubilee sat up on a chair for her comfort; the rest were happy to sit on the ground.

Rogue and Gambit sat nearly on top of each other, flirting and giggling together. They fed each other, Rogue licking tomato sauce off of Gambit's gloved hand. They didn't join in any of the conversation the rest of the group had; they behaved as if the two of them were the only people on the planet. The others observed out of the corners of their eyes. Gambit and Rogue finally acknowledged the rest of the group the second they'd eaten the last bites of their meal, to tell the others that they were taking a swim together in the lake. By that point, everyone had surmised that going anywhere near the lake that evening would not be a good idea.

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The water was cool and crisp against Rogue's body but it felt amazingly good. The evening was warm, though not humid. A small lantern was placed in the grasses by the lake, providing a little bit of light for Rogue and Gambit as the sun continued to set. The collar sitting around Rogue's neck was slightly cool but no longer menacing in and of itself.

"Can Gambit turn around now?" Gambit asked. Rogue had asked him to face the other direction as she stripped and dove into the water. Among the items Rogue had placed in the tote bag were the lantern and a collar….but no swim wear. Gambit's heart had leapt when he saw that, though he was not at all surprised. Rogue's cues to him during dinner had been unmistakable.

"I'm in. Sugar, it's your turn now!" Rogue called from the water. Gambit turned around. Rogue grinned excitedly at him, her face still incredibly beautiful despite the fact that two missing teeth marred her smile. The tips of her wavy, auburn hair were wet.

"Are you cold in dere?" he asked, his eyes shining.

"Water's a little cold but it's kinda nice given how warm it is out there," she said. "Besides, Cajun, we can always find ways to warm each other up."

"So true, chere."

"Should I turn around now ?"

Gambit shrugged. "You can look. You seen it all before, anyway, amor," he added, though it had been many, many months.

"Okay, I will look then."

Gambit brazenly stripped off his T-shirt, revealing his muscular arms and flat abdomen. Rogue's eyes widened. It had been far too long since her eyes had feasted on this sight and she shamelessly gaped at him. "You like what you see, chere?"

"I'm almost drooling over ya, sugar."

Gambit smiled at the compliment, and then unzipped his trousers. In one swift movement, he brought his pants and underwear down to his ankles. He shed them quickly. Gambit then strode towards the water slowly, giving Rogue ample time to admire his form. Rogue gleefully took advantage of the chance to eye Gambit. He felt her gaze on him, relishing the attention and knowing she was still enjoying what she saw. Rogue did not lower her eyes at all.

As he got to the water's edge and slowly waded in, the cool water against his body did not disturb him in the least because other thoughts occupied his mind. He continued to move towards Rogue. When Gambit was immersed up to his shoulders in the water, Rogue swam up to him and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"Do you wanna play tag? One of us could try to chase the other," Rogue suggested.

"Sounds good to me, chere. Why don't you try to catch Gambit?"

As soon as Rogue had agreed to that, Gambit swam off. He was a good swimmer, strong and swift. He wasn't going to make it easy on her. Rogue took off after him, wishing she had spent less time floating around in the ship's pool and more time swimming laps. When she realized she was not going to catch up to him, she felt an urge to use her powers, fly out of the water, and seize him that way. She was all set to do so when she realized her collar would prevent such a maneuver. Rogue redoubled her efforts, and then glanced at Gambit again, noticing she had closed the gap somewhat. Perhaps he had realized he was too fast. Rogue soon caught up to him. "Gotcha!" she said, touching her arms to his back and handily dunking him.

They continued to play for some more, chasing and dunking each other. Gambit was delighted at being able to touch her. After some time though, he said, "Gambit's gettin' tired. Don't wanna spend all our energy on dis, chere, do you?"

"Now that you mention it, Cajun, I can think of some other things to spend our energy on," Rogue replied. She swam over to Gambit, who was standing in some of the more shallow water; it came up to his shoulders.

They faced each other and embraced. Rogue was having a hard time holding her balance though, and being shorter than Gambit, the water was uncomfortably high on her. She instinctively anchored her legs around his waist and he held her. Gambit was overcome with the sensations-the water caressing their bodies and having the woman he adored wrapped around him, naked. They had never experienced this before.

"This is incredible," Rogue said. "I can't believe we're touching like this, Remy. It blows my mind!"

"'Dis feels good to Gambit, too, chere." His hands supported her waist, her breasts pressed into his chest. They had dreamed so many years of being able to touch like this. Gambit's pulse raced and he tried to steady his breathing. He wanted her so badly.

Rogue closed her eyes and pulled Gambit into a kiss. She had gotten quite good at kissing lately under his tutelage. This kiss was slow and lingering, their tongues lapping against each other's. Gambit continued to support her weight while running a free hand along her back. Rogue pressed herself even closer against Gambit. One of her hands stroked his long hair.

"Maybe, chere, we should take `dis out of the water," Gambit breathed. Rogue nodded her agreement.

Gambit swooped her around so he carried her in his arms, and brought her to the grassy edge of the water. The couple spread out a blanket and quickly towel-dried the excess water off. Rogue then lay down on her back. Gambit lay next to her, bringing his lips down on hers again, this time more urgently. "Gambit gonna make you come so hard tonight," he murmured. Rogue's reply was a deep moan.

Gambit knelt by her feet and began kissing her legs, licking and massaging the flesh as he placed kisses on it. "You have such beautiful legs, chere. I've wanted to kiss dem for so long." Gambit dipped his head back down and resumed the work of his tongue. Rogue's breathing and intermittent moans told him he was doing well. Gambit's hands worked Rogue's thighs, running up and down them, sending shivers of pleasure through her.

Rogue craned her head up, watching the tip of Gambit's head and feeling the work of his hands and mouth. It felt so good. The enjoyable sensations were prevalent but she still had to fight back illogical fears. He wasn't absorbing her powers; touching her was not going to hurt him. And she knew in her heart that this kind of touch was light-years different than the way the brutal soldiers had touched her. Her legs then acted on their own. They slowly moved apart.

Gambit dipped his head lower and kissed her inner thighs, delighting in their soft fullness. When he reached her mound of public hair, he quickly placed a kiss there and then said, "We do dis later, amor." He reached her abdomen and lovingly kissed it, as one hand crept up and reached for one of Rogue's hands. Rogue squeezed his hand gently. "Your skin taste so good," Gambit whispered. "Gambit dreamed so many years of bein' able to do dis."

"Me too," Rogue moaned. Further words were escaping her. She was just having to force herself to keep breathing. The sensations were all so profound. The area between her legs buzzed like a hornet's nest.

Gambit lifted his head. Rogue's full breasts were before him, her nipples almost painfully erect. "Gambit wait so long to be able to touch your beautiful breasts," he said, looking into her eyes. The intensity was overwhelming for Rogue and she closed her eyes, just knowing and trusting that whatever Gambit did would be good. She gave up any pretense at being in control. "So beautiful," he murmured. "Can Gambit touch, maybe even kiss?"

Rogue groaned in reply and pulled his head down to her breasts. He chuckled and used his tongue to slowly circle a nipple, over and over again. His head darted to the other breast and did the same. His cock was throbbing insistently but Gambit knew how to be patient, knew how to make the delight last as long as possible. Gambit used the point of his tongue to push the nipple in. "Oooh!" Rogue gasped.

"You like, chere?"

"Yes!"

Gambit then placed gentle kisses all along one breast, as his other hand squeezed the flesh of the other. He continued to kiss and caress them, before fluidly moving to touch the rest of Rogue; he held her hands and kissed them, kissed her shoulders, her neck. Their lips met again. Rogue was a bit shocked; he had never kissed her quite like this; his tongue was urgent, probing. He pulled back, almost worried that he was being too aggressive. All his instincts told him that she was enjoying this as much as he was, but he reminded himself he had to be extra-sensitive with Rogue; she was not just any woman. "You still like dis, amor?"

"Yes," Rogue panted.

"You tell Gambit if he do something you don't like, right?"

Rogue nodded. Gambit took that as all the encouragement he needed, as he traveled back down along Rogue's body. After placing a quick kiss on each nipple, he again planted kisses along her abdomen and thighs. He stopped when he reached her womanhood, this time looking intently at her, his eyes wide. "Can Gambit touch you dere?" he asked.

"Yes," Rogue said. Every touch, every sensation was heightened for Rogue since she'd never experienced anything like this before. This was incredible. And she wasn't afraid at all though she was a bit….nervous. It was a good kind of anticipation though.

Gambit asked her, "Do you want to open your lips for me, chere?"

Rogue was a bit confused, but she did what he suggested and opened her mouth. Gambit looked up at her quizzically. Rogue opened her eyes and looked at Gambit. The couple laughed together as the true meaning of what Gambit had asked hit her. "Oh." Rogue said, laughing.

"I didn't mean dose lips, chere," Gambit said, smiling.

Rogue reached one hand down there and parted the lips Gambit had referred to. Slowly and softly, Gambit inserted a finger. "You so wet down here…dat good…Gambit likes the wetness….You like it too, chere?"

Rogue moaned in reply. She was overwhelmed by his passionate lovemaking. Gambit's finger rhythmically stroked the pink lips. He then gently rubbed her erect clitoris. "Why don' we change positions, chere?" Gambit whispered. You roll on your side like dis…"

They changed positions so that Gambit lay behind Rogue, both facing the same way. Gambit nestled his face behind her neck, in her hair. Her natural scent was so good. He then reached his hands around and stroked her wetness. He had done this before many times during their years together and knew what touches brought her pleasure. The difference was that in the past, one of them had to be fully clothed. Gambit before had touched Rogue's nude body but he had always been clothed, with latex gloves protecting this hands and arms. This time, both of them were naked. Every touch, every feeling was enhanced. Their bodies burned.

Rogue moved her hips along with Gambit's hand, groaning and grunting. This was ecstasy. This was heaven. Gambit craned his head and licked her ear. "Oh!" Rogue exclaimed, in rapture. Gambit nibbled on her earlobe and then whispered into it, "Can Gambit have a little taste of you?….Dat would be so good….Gambit will use his tongue, make you feel really good….Dat would make Gambit feel really good too….You think you might like, chere?"

Rogue groaned again.

"Was 'dat a `yes'?" Gambit teased.

"Yes!" Rogue said. God this was so intense. God almighty. How much longer would she be able to take it?

Gambit re-positioned himself so he lay between her legs, supporting her round bottom on his hands. He kissed his way through the tendrils of hair and began to love her with his tongue. He penetrated her plump lips and ran along the ridges of flesh, exploring the pink pleasure.

Rogue's body felt on fire. She felt as if boiling wine were being pumped through her system. When she was finally able to breathe, she gulped air. Gambit's tongue continued to dart over her hot, hot moistness. He then used a long, slow stroke. Starting at her vaginal opening, he slowly, slowly licked his way up to her little pearl. He repeated this over and over again until she was moaning with lust. "You taste so good, chere," Gambit murmured. "Dis feel so good and taste so good." Rogue's moans intensified.

Pleased that his labors were brining a great deal of joy to Rogue, Gambit switched tactics and slowly penetrated her opening with his tongue. In and out, in and out he worked his tongue, her womanly scent and taste driving him crazy. His cock was so swollen now. He continued the movement of his tongue, probing and penetrating her for many long moments. Rogue thrust her hips back at his mouth until Gambit changed his approach. He brought his lips and tongue to her engorged clit and sucked on it. He then lovingly hummed against it, sending sensational vibrations through Rogue.

It was too much. Rogue screamed loudly as she came and came. The orgasm sent shockwaves through her body and she cried out his name as she worked her hips. She continued the movement for several moments as the climax resided.

A very gratified Gambit looked up when Rogue's body stopped shaking. "You like dat, chere?"

Rogue sat up, smiling and laughing. The build up and release had been overwhelming. She felt the tension ooze out of her. She had been pushed over the edge and was now coming back. She felt in more control of herself. "Oh my God. God, Remy, that was so good!" She grabbed some of his hair for a bit, and then lovingly stroked his head. "You're so fucking good. Oh my god. That was so amazing."

"I thought dat you liked it, amor."

"Now you git on your back, Swamp Rat! I wanna repay the favor you did me," Rogue said boldly.

For a split second, Gambit hesitated. He knew the FOH soldiers had forced her to do this. But he quickly pushed the hesitation away. Rogue would not have offered if she didn't want to.

Gambit lay on his back and Rogue swung her body over his. She placed a quick kiss on his lips. She wanted to move slowly and take the time to explore his muscular chest, shoulders, and arms and to caress his legs. But she was too eager, and gave his form only a few cursory strokes before reaching his throbbing member. She knelt before it and placed kisses up and down the hard length. She then used her tongue, licking him up and down. "Am I doin' this good, Gambit?" she asked.

He was struck by the innocence and lack of bravado. "Dis very good…..Use your tongue on the knob…'dere you go….ah, dat be nice…..dat feel so good….Can you take some of it in your mouth? Put jus' a little in and see if you can…..Ahhh…."

Rogue took his instruction well and did what he asked. She relaxed and took as much of him in her mouth as she could. She sucked strongly on him as shafts of pleasure plunged into his brain and body like sharp knives. Rogue enjoyed what she was doing. Thoughts of FOH soldiers were far from her mind. Listening to Gambit in the throes of ecstasy aroused Rogue again. She was making him mindless with pleasure! The area between her legs once again started to throb.

"Now chere," Gambit began, trying to keep control of himself. "Gambit is close to cuming now. Is up to you what we do tonight. You want me inside of you or -?"

"Yes!" Rogue said, lifting her head up. She scrambled so that she lay on her back and spread her legs invitingly for Gambit. Her heart beat madly. Gambit inside of her after all these years! After wishing and dreaming of it for so long. He would at last be able to penetrate her.

Gambit was as overjoyed at the thought as she was. It seemed to him that he'd waited a lifetime to do this. Gambit rearranged himself and hovered over his lover. He looked down at her luscious body, open to him. He thought of pausing to once again begin caressing her form, but Rogue caught onto his hesitation. "I want you inside me now, Remy!" she demanded.

"Okay, chere. Gambit give you what you want." Slowly he worked his way inside her, her moistness grasping him tightly. He plunged in deeper, fighting himself for control because he wanted to give her some time to get used to the sensation of fullness.

"Ooooohhh," Rogue breathed. "Oh god Remy." She reached her arms around to his back. His strong, muscular back felt so good in her hands as his rigid manhood filled her. This was….unique. It was different than anything she had ever experienced. She took a few deep breaths. He was throbbing inside of her.

"You ok, amor?"

"Yes. Yes, this feels nice. It's just different too."

Gambit patiently waited a few moments, looking down at Rogue's beautiful face. Sweat plastered her hair against her face, her eyes reflected a mixture of awe, happiness and lust. "I love you, chere," he whispered.

"I love you too," Rogue replied. She looked more at ease, so Gambit began the love rhythm. Slowly he withdrew and slowly he thrust back in. His hips continued to work. Rogue picked up the rhythm and pushed back. Thrills ran up and down her body as the couple continued their heavenly movements. Gambit whispered a few endearments in French to her, telling her how much he loved her, how she was driving him wild, how beautiful she was. Rogue's nails scratched her lover's back. This was amazing, this was wild. She made a low animal sound as she reached a deep and intense climax.

Gambit was a bit shocked that she had orgasmed again so quickly. He himself was past the point of being able to maintain any more control. He gave into the sensations and called out her name loudly as he came.

The lovers lay together by the water, talking and laughing together. Eventually they returned to camp. Once they nestled together in their tent, they made love again, over and over until both were physically exhausted.

As he drifted off to sleep, Gambit mused that it was, indeed, true that good things came to those who wait.

* * *

That night, the Professor, Wolverine, Beast, Colossus, Storm and Iceman were playing the card game of hearts. Storm and Iceman had gone over to the others' tent, and the group played their game by the light of a lantern. They elected not to play outside, despite the warm evening, because they did not want to disturb Jubilee, Jean and Scott who had declined their offer to play in favor of sleeping.

Their game was interrupted at one point by loud noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. At first, the sounds were moans and groans. A few of the card game players blushed but they continued with their hand. Soon, though, the noises built in volume until they were difficult to ignore. At one point, Rogue was heard screaming, "YES, REMY, YES YES YES! REMY, YES OH MY GOD, YES!"

The Professor raised his eyebrows and said, "My gracious!"

The tension broken, the card playing group dissolved in a fit of laughter. Beast and Iceman had tears rolling down their faces. Even Wolverine had to laugh as hard as the rest.

Iceman spoke up and said, "Well I'm glad * someone's* gettin' some!" The group laughed even more, his words ringing only too true for all of them.

"Let's hide all the collars," Storm joked.

Meanwhile, Gambit glowed with pride as he made love to his beautiful girlfriend. He knew Rogue's screaming would wake anyone who wasn't already up. Let the world know that Remy LeBeau was a damn fine lover! He relished every second of it, her shrieks of delight seriously heightening his arousal. Rogue, on the other hand, was beyond knowing or caring what the others would think. She had never dreamed they would be able to do this, and she had never imagined that making love with Remy would be this…..fantastic, remarkable, phenomenal, marvelous! She never wanted to be doing anything else, from now on.

Scott and Jean were awakened from their sleep by the noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. Scott snorted, "How unseemly." Jean then reached around and grasped him in a certain area. "Jean!"

"Oh, come on Scott, they're young and in love. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it. But do they have to be so loud?"

Jean wrapped her arms around her husband and whispered in his ear, "You know, we could make some noise ourselves…."

Scott sighed and returned Jean's touches. She always had such an effect on him. "Okay, but *quietly*," he whispered back. Jean covered her husband's mouth with her own.

Meanwhile, Jubilee was awakened from a sound sleep by the noises coming from Rogue and Gambit's tent. She listened, becoming excited herself. For months and months she had felt no sexual desire at all. None. She had thought perhaps she would never feel it ever again, and had been starting to resign herself to it. She had even been trying to view it as a good thing. But the last couple of months….it had slowly started up again. Listening to Rogue's cries and groans, Jubilee reached her hands down between her legs. She hoped Bobby and Storm weren't returning to the tent anytime soon from their game.

The card game players resumed their game of hearts when the noises and their own laughter died down. Wolverine had been having trouble lately, spending so much time around women who were turned on so often. Maybe being outdoors had something to do with it. What his animal senses picked up from all of them was extremely arousing and he craved a woman's touch. It had been far too long for a man who loved making love to a woman as much as he did. Colossus's thoughts ran along similar lines. Beast felt wistful for Carly, and the Professor remembered Moira, Amelia and the other women he had loved in his life. Iceman wished for his ex, Michael or for Northstar or any other man who would be so inclined. Storm had been seriously considering asking one of her teammates. If only there were a way to do it that wouldn't put friendships at jeopardy.

The sounds from Rogue and Gambit's tent started up again, and again gradually rose in pitch. "Man, Gambit must be a machine!" Bobby exclaimed. The six began a new bout of uncontrollable laughter.

The next day, it was Iceman's turn to prepare lunch. A very tousled Gambit had slept through breakfast and staggered out of his tent around lunchtime.

"Here you go, Gambit," Bobby said loudly, heaping large quantities of pasta onto a plate, "Eat up. You really need to keep your strength up now."

Gambit eyed his teammates, sitting in a circle as they ate their lunch. A few of them smiled or snickered; Colossus winked at him. Rogue had woken Gambit up late that morning by using her tongue on a very sensitive area. A new round of lovemaking had ensued.

Gambit grinned. "You damn right, Bobby!"

* * *

The 11 of us sat around the campfire for lunch one day. I really don't know why we bothered to put together a campfire though. Even at night, we rarely needed it. The temperature was just perfect all the time. It was sometimes a tad cold at night, but all you needed were good socks, warm clothes, a few blankets and you were fine.

"Well, everyone," the Professor began, "we have a decision to make. Our two-week vacation will come to an end tomorrow, as you know. The magnetic field storms begin tomorrow and it is unsafe to travel in our ship during them."

"How long's the storm supposta' last?" Rogue asked. Most of us knew this already. I silently mused that she and Gambit had not been keeping up on the situation during the last few days, as they had been otherwise occupied. In fact we rarely saw them. We heard them sometimes though. : )

"If our readings are correct," Hank said, "the next storm will last for about 15 days. Now during the storm, we would be safe here on the planet's surface. The danger would only be in attempting to break out of the planet's atmosphere during a storm."

"So the question is," the Professor began, "do we stay here for another two weeks? According to the readings we have, if we do stay for the next 15 days, we will then have another window to leave. This window will be short though; it will be less than 3 hours. And if we miss that window, the following bout of storms could last four months." He paused, "So, if the group wants to stay here for another 15 days, we just need to be prepared to leave quickly when the window is open."

No one had any objections to that. We all were loving it here and everyone wanted the extra 15 days. As someone pointed out during our meeting, it is not as if we were *going* anywhere. We weren't due back anywhere. A few of us expressed a desire to get back in touch with earth and what was happening there….but what did another 15 days matter when we'd been gone seven and a half months? So we agreed to stay for now.

We didn't discuss it as a group, but I personally would have been fine staying even for the following four months during the upcoming long storm. Sometimes the days got a little boring, but certainly much less boring than they had been on board the ship. On the planet we had fresh air and sunlight, which I think our starved souls were still absorbing. Whenever I went on board the ship to take a shower or use the bathroom, there was a marked difference between the air and general atmosphere on board the ship compared to the planet. If anything, I worried we'd get too used to the planet and not want to get back on board the ship.

But I wasn't going to worry about it. Like everyone, I was just enjoying the planet. We had set up a volleyball net and played regularly. I actually wasn't totally bad at the game, though my serves all sucked. We had hiked all over the area, exploring it for several hours worth of walking in each direction. There was a second, smaller lake about an hour's walk away. It was even more beautiful than the first. Thanks to Storm and Rogue's flying, we knew that if we traveled, we would encounter new and different terrain. There were many forests. There was a large ocean too with sandy beaches, but we would be too near the humanoid lifeforms and larger animals if we moved there.

As always, we were careful to not disturb the natural surroundings or take from the planet (well, other than the dilithium, of course.) All of our waste was recycled on the ship as always. Once Hank saw Rogue walking about with a flower in her hair. He asked her where she got it from and she innocently said that Gambit gave it to her. Turned out, Gambit had unthinkingly plucked it, from the planet, of course. Both Hank and the Professor had given the couple a *very* stern talking to. They apologized, sounding sincerely regretful, and promised they would not do it again.

I know this because I overheard their exchange. It was an interesting thing about living on the planet: you could not help but to overhear more. On board the ship, the 11 of us had lived in very close quarters. But on the planet, we were living even more on top of each other. It didn't bother me. Maybe it should have, but it didn't. If I really wanted privacy….um, like to attend to, you know, personal matters, I generally went back to my room on the ship. There was always that as an option.

Another time, I overheard Jean and Rogue having a discussion about birth control. It was in the middle of the day, and they were discussing it right outside my tent (I had gone into the tent earlier for a post-lunch nap and they didn't know I was there.) Jean was asking Rogue if she and Gambit were using any birth control. Rogue had sheepishly said that they had forgotten about it at first, but were now availing themselves of the condom supplies from the ship. I knew that the supply wouldn't last forever and made a mental note to look into replicating some more.

Sometimes you overheard things just by sharing a tent with others. We never budged from our original, haphazardly put-together roommate groups and they basically suited everyone just fine. I got used to Jubilee's snoring. She was shocked when I told her she snored but it was the truth and we had a laugh over that.

One night, though, I was awakened by a much less pleasant disturbance.

I had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Grabbing the flashlight, I made the trek from the tent to the ship so I could use the facilities. (This was a big drawback of sleeping outside, but just pissing behind a tree somewhere was a big no-no.) Anyhow, once I returned to the tent I simply couldn't get back to sleep. I guessed it was only a couple hours before sun-up and sleep just wasn't coming back to me. So I lay there for a while. Gradually, I heard noises coming from Storm. She was asleep but she was tossing and turning. With every passing minute, it seemed she thrashed around even more and disturbing sounds came out of her mouth. I wasn't sure what to do. If I were having a really bad nightmare, as she obviously was, I would like to be wakened from it. But who knew what her preference was? With reservations, I let her continue to toss until she cried out and sat up, muffling a scream.

On instinct, I went over to her. She sat with her head in her hands, shaking. I gently whispered, "Storm? Are you alright? Can I do anything to help?"

As soon as I did that, I regretted it. Storm was powerful, stately, and strong. She was going to kill me for seeing her in such a state, for acknowledging this.

But instead she reached for my outstretched hand and held it. She was quiet for a very long time. I knelt there the whole time, my legs getting sore as I silently debated. Should I hug her? Put my arm around her? No…those would be too intimate. She was holding my hand, that was good. I decided to just leave it at that. She took several deep breaths.

"I'm alright," she finally whispered, "Just a bad nightmare." I could see her relax and she gave my hand a squeeze.

"I get those sometimes too," I admitted. I wasn't sure if she like wanted to talk about it or not. "You sure you're alright though?"

Storm nodded. "That was one of the worst ones I've had in a while. It was ugly." She went on to describe it for me. Her nightmare had combined her claustrophobia with the attacks from the FOH soldiers. She didn't go into a lot of detail, and her tone was straightforward and even when she recounted the nightmare. I sat and listened.

When she was done recounting her dream, she asked me, "What about you, Bobby? Do you ever have nightmares?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do." I closed my eyes. "I get some really bad ones."

"What happens in them?"

I shared with her some of the nightmares I sometimes had. Mine usually involved me being stripped and humiliated in front of everyone. They never ended with me saving the day either. "I also have nightmares about losing my friends," I continued. "I mean, not losing them to death but having them reject me. Having them tell me they don't want anything more to do with me."

"Because you're gay?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "It's totally ridiculous. I mean, I often dream that I lose Hank, and he's never been anything but….but a true friend to me. Yet the nightmares are there."

We talked until the sun was up. She did not want to discuss her nightmares any more but she probed me about mine. I realized why I sometimes have these dreams about losing Hank's friendship. When I was in high school, my best friend at the time rejected me when he found out I was gay. It had been a huge loss. I had cared about him a great deal, and I spent many nights crying myself to sleep after his rejection.

After some time, Storm and I could hear others emerging from their tents. I felt a new closeness with her.

"I'm on breakfast duty this morning," Storm finally said. "I'd better get going." She made as if to get up, but paused and looked into my eyes. "Thank you, Bobby."

* * *

Our vacation may have been extended by another two weeks, but they also flew by pretty quickly. Whenever I got bored, I just offered to help Hank with his studies. His head was spinning from all the samples he'd collected and the many long hours of fascinating research (well, fascinating for him anyway) he would have whenever we left the planet.

Jubilee and I were walking together one day. There was so much beautiful nature to see, no matter which direction from the camp you decided to explore. We knew that there was an actual waterfall not too far from us, and decided to try to reach it that day. I carried a picnic basket with us; we had decided to eat our lunch there. The terrain in this area was mostly comprised of long stretches of grass, with lots of valleys and trees. We never wondered where we were though. The computer printed out detailed maps for us, and we always went off with a communicator just in case.

"How are you doing?" I asked, looking over at Jubilee.

"I'm ok," she said. "I know that walking is a good exercise for when you're pregnant. And these are good shoes. My back's sore though, but what else is new?"

"We can always turn back if it's really getting to you," I reminded her.

"I know. But I really want to make it to the waterfall. I only saw it once, and that was a while ago. Rogue flew me there. But anyhow, I think I can make it. We're almost there," she said, glancing at the map she carried.

"It will make a lovely place for our picnic."

Jubilee stopped and grasped her stomach. "What is it?" I asked, worried.

"She's moving again! Here, feel it."

I placed my hand on Jubilee and felt the baby move. "Wow!" I exclaimed. I'd felt her move before, but still it was pretty cool.

"Gee, I just can't believe that in like a month I'm gonna be a mother."

I raised my eyebrows. "How do you feel now? Excited? Scared?"

"All of those things. But I know it'll be alright. It'll be totally weird too, though. But I'm glad Jean and Scott are having a baby too."

"A playmate for your girl," I said. "Hey, do you know if they're going to find out if theirs is a boy or girl beforehand?"

"I asked `em about it a little while ago and they said they finally decided they want to be surprised." Jubilee paused. "At first, I was happy when I learned mine was a girl. Now I don't feel so good about that anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

She took a deep breath. "You know, she might be a mutant. What if someday she has to live through what I did, with those soldiers? And what am I going to tell her when she asks why she has no father?"

"Jubilee, you just can't worry about those things now." I tried to make light of it, "Look, it's gonna be a long time before she's old enough to talk, so you got a few years to go on that one!" She didn't return my smile.

"I know there's no point in worrying about it. And I did talk to Storm about this. She helped me. But she also said something like, well she could be raped someday whether she's a mutant or not. I was like, `That doesn't make me feel any better, Storm.'"

"When will you know if she is a mutant?" I asked.

"Hank says once the baby is born, he can do some tests to try to see if she has the gene. He says it's not quite safe to do them while she's in utero."

"I see. Hey, Jubilee, I wasn't trying to blow off what you brought up. I mean, it like does piss me off that she could be raped someday, whether by a FOH soldier or someone else. Men can be such total jerks. But it just isn't going to help to stress over it now."

"I was thinking like I could teach her self-defense, but if she ever gets kidnapped by FOH, that won't do any good. Rogue, Storm, and Jean were three of the most powerful people on earth and it didn't help them." She sighed. "But I am gonna start thinking of what to tell her when she asks who her father is."

"Can I make a recommendation?"

"Anytime."

"I know it might be your instinct….well, it might be *my* instinct, to not be entirely truthful. To just make something up, you know, sugarcoat the truth. But those lies always end up hurting a family more than they help."

She was quiet for a moment. "I appreciate that, Bobby. Since you were raised in a family, you have a better sense of that." Jubilee had been orphaned at a young age and, like Cyclops, spent her youth with a series of foster parents.

"Well, my family was not at all the model family. In fact it was really dysfunctional. But I really think little people are tougher than we give them credit for. And I hated being lied to all the time as a kid." I took a breath. "But that's just my own personal take on it. Probably the best person to ask about this would be Jean, since she came from by far the happiest family situation of us all."

Jubilee nodded. She was looking down and deep in thought. She was quiet for several moments, and I didn't want to interrupt her train of thought. "Hey, Bobby," she began slowly, "tell me about what happened on board the ship. You know, when we were prisoners."

At first I thought I misheard her. I was confused, "Do you not remember?"

"Oh, I remember a lot. I remember some of the gang rapes. The other women have told me, during our healing ceremonies, some other things that happened. And I pick up bits and pieces from everyone. But what happened to you guys? What was being captured like for you? And…." her voice trailed off, "and I know that at some point I was returned to the cell you guys were in but I don't remember anything about that at all."

My breathing sped up and I got a headache. "Why do you want to hear about this? It was such a horrible…ordeal."

"So we should just forget about it and pretend it never happened?"

"No, no, not at all. We can't do that. It's just-it's so upsetting. Why go over it again?"

"See, now you're acting just like you say we shouldn't act with the baby! I want to hear the whole story."

"But I wasn't talking about lying or not giving you the whole story. It's just that….it brings up such bad memories to go over it again. But….well, if you want to, we can talk about it."

"Okay," she nodded. I had no idea where to begin so was glad when Jubilee started with a question. "What happened to you guys in the cell? Did the guards hurt you?"

"Well, *physically*, no. Not at all. I guess we were lucky. In fact….like we talked about with Shaman, I know most of us guys feel….guilty that you were the ones being hurt, not us. Even though it's not logical." As I was talking, I started feeling some pains in my stomach. It all came back to me—the half rotted meat they served us, the smell of unlaundered clothes, Wolverine's bloody fists. The ache of despair and the blood-boiling rage. The anguish at being able to do nothing, the hours on end of sitting like a caged animal. "We sat in the cell all day and they brought us food. They, um, they taunted us all the time though. They said things that they knew would emotionally hurt us. Wow….my head and my stomach hurt just thinking back to it. All day and night for the whole time we were in there, I had the most crushing, the worst anxiety I ever had. It was physically painful." I felt the knives of anxiety puncturing my stomach again.

"What did they do to emotionally taunt you? Did you know what they were doing to us?"

"Yes," I answered. "As soon as they forced all four of you to leave the cell, I guessed what….what they were going to do to you. Someone asked them what they were going to do to you, and the lead shithead said something like his soldiers were going to show you what a real man is like in bed. From that point on, it was chaos in our cell. I mean, we all just went crazy."

I looked over at Jubilee. She was looking down as we walked and her face was unreadable. "Do you want to hear more?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "I want to hear some of the details."

"Well…um, it was really bad. The idiot soldiers kept coming in and saying things like…." I paused. Did she really want to hear this? She was now looking at me and I think she wanted me to go on, "…like, `We're fucking your bitches and they're really great' and crap like that. They said things like that that they knew would torture us and it did. I sat against the wall and cried a lot. In fact, most of the other guys actually cried at some point, and I sure don't often see grown men cry. There was one point I looked up and the Professor was just bawling like a baby. Wolverine bloodied his hands every day pounding against the forcefield. We did a lot of futile things to try to escape. I think we knew they'd be futile too, but we had to try. And Wolverine and Gambit kept fighting each other. I think they just needed some way to get it out of their system since we were helpless. You had never seen more helpless, angry and agonized guys in your life. It was just a total hell." I stopped there, hoping it would be enough and she wouldn't want more detail.

"It was for me too," she said quietly.

I touched her hand. "I know," I whispered to her. I hoped my words hadn't hurt her, but she *had* wanted me to tell her this. Her eyes looked faraway.

But then she asked me to tell her more. "So what happened when they returned me to your cell?"

I gulped. "So…no one's discussed this with you?"

"No. Not in any detail. I asked the Professor to tell me a bit about what happened, and he did. But I want to hear your version."

"Well," I began. This was so unpleasant to go over. I don't know why she wanted to torture herself like this. But I tried to see it her way. Curiosity had to be a big part of it. I guess that's human nature, "Well, one day the leader bastard comes in and says something like, `One of your women has gone crazy so we're sending her back to you now.' He then goes off and doesn't come back for….I dunno, it felt like a few hours. We just sat there, like frozen. So finally he comes back with a few guards and they toss you through the airlock. As soon as-"

"Was I naked?"

"Yes, but as soon as you came through, we dressed you. Wolverine gave up his pants and Gambit covered you with his jacket." I was quiet for a second but her expression told me to go on. "Um, don't be embarrassed. All we were thinking of at that point was trying to take care of you. And, well, Hank and I tried to clean your wounds as best we could. We all took turns sitting with you and talking to you. But you had that blank stare on your face. You didn't respond to anything. I, um, I had never been so despondent in my whole life. I mean, the guards would tell us stuff like it was just 30 hours to go before they were going to kill us all. I think by then we all felt physically ill." I stopped. I hoped this would be enough.

"And then you saved the day," she said.

"Whatever you want to call it." She and I had talked about this part before.

"Wow, we are lucky. If they hadn't read your personnel file, if they hadn't decided to single you out and….and do whatever it is they were going to do to you-"

"Torture me, I'm sure."

"Yeah, well if they hadn't done that, we would all be dead. Do you ever think about that?"

"No. I mean, I try not to."

"I think it is amazing. What if they never decided to look at our personnel files? What if yours was missing or destroyed? What if it didn't give them enough information to figure out that you were gay?"

"What if the soldiers who took me away hadn't been complete dunderheads and hadn't removed my collar?"

"We'd all be dead," she finished. "We'd have been scalded to death on the Acid Planet."

I looked up and saw the waterfall in the distance. "Look, we're almost there. Though I'm not sure I'm in the mood for a tranquil picnic anymore," I said, forcing a smile.

"Actually, I thank you for this. It helped." Jubilee said. We walked faster since the beautiful waterfall was in sight. "I've been wondering a lot the last few weeks. I mean, I'm gonna be a mom soon. So I've been wondering a lot….where will my girl be raised? We can't go back to earth now. Will we ever go back? And if we don't, where will we go? What will this girl be like if she doesn't have a permanent home?"

"You never had a permanent home, and you turned out pretty good," I said, smiling.

"I had the X-men."

"So will she," I shrugged. "We're still X-men, no matter where we are. And you're right-we don't know where we're going or if we'll ever be able to live on earth again. Home and family are what you make it. I think if she grows up surrounded by all of us and with you as a mom, she's going to be just fine."

When we got to the waterfall, we spread out our picnic and laid around, eating. Jubilee seemed in a pretty good mood. Me, I didn't care for having to go through those memories again. After spending time on this paradise planet, you could almost forget that stuff ever happened. Recounting those memories had been like being doused with cold water. No, it was worse than that. I had to remind myself that the fresh sandwiches that comprised our lunch that day were not the stale bread that Cyclops kept throwing up during our imprisonment.

* * *

Cyclops, Storm and Beast were drilling themselves on board the starship. Tomorrow would be the day when the X-men would need to leave the planet; their month-long vacation was at an end. The next day there would be a three hour break in the atmospheric storms, and they would use that window to take their ship out of the atmosphere, away from the planet.

The decision to do so had not been unanimous. Many X-men favored remaining on the planet, even though their next opportunity to leave would not be for another four months. But a big enough majority, and all of the group's leaders, felt it was time to return to space. The group agreed to head towards earth. Maybe the situation on earth had changed a bit, though no one was holding their breath. At the very least, they wanted to get close enough to earth to be able to pick up some news about their home planet.

The group spent the day cleaning up their campsite. Jubilee actually shed a few tears as Storm and Iceman dissembled their tent. Wolverine watched the others take down the campsite, shaking his head. What was the point? At the ship's highest speed, it would take them five months to return to earth. (And he knew that in order to conserve supplies, they were unlikely to travel at the fastest speed.) "So we sit on the ship for six or seven months, get back to earth, and find out that everyone hates us as much as they did before," he had grumbled during the group meeting. But too many others had wanted to get back in touch with earth and learn about the situation there. Curiosity won the day.

On the bridge of the ship, Beast expressed concern to Cyclops and Storm about the readings he was picking up. "It is impossible to pin down exactly when the storms end and begin again. And 3 hours is just an estimate. The window could be shorter than that."

"We trust you," Storm said, examining her console and only half-listening. She didn't feel like discussing the atmospheric disturbances. It was trite, she knew, but she disliked the thought that there existed weather conditions beyond her control. She was relieved that her powers worked in every other way, but these storms were far too powerful for her.

And even though she had agreed with the Professor that it was time to leave, Storm lamented the fact that she had not spent sufficient time being naked outdoors or swimming nude. It was hard to get away from the 10 others. If you mentioned you were going off somewhere, someone else always wanted to join you. She and Wolverine were the only ones who had such a strong desire to experience nature while unclothed (well, except for Rogue and Gambit, but they were another story), and she hadn't felt right about going off at night by herself. She also hadn't felt right about asking Wolverine to accompany her. That could create situations, bring up feelings that were inappropriate among friends. And given Storm's prolonged sexual inactivity, it could make her request things of him that she would later regret.

"I'm sure we'll make it," Cyclops said in reply to Beast. He, once again, would pilot the ship. Jean was so eager to be able to mentally "pick up" her family. Scott also wondered how his in-laws were doing; he loved them too, little that they were able to see each other. He and Jean prayed they were all still alive and well, but Jean needed to be in closer proximity to earth to get a reading on them. They were so many billion lightyears away now. Jean mused that her parents would be thrilled to have another grandchild. She wondered if either her niece or nephew displayed any mutant characteristics. It was too soon, she knew, but she wondered.

Each X-man returned to their room on the ship to sleep that night, with the exception of Rogue and Gambit who were now sharing a room. It was amazing what you could get used to. Rogue wore her collar whenever she and Gambit were cuddling or otherwise getting intimate. She now could sleep in it and completely forget it was on. The couple curled up together, Rogue's arms around Gambit. They slept the sleep of the contented.

"I'm gonna miss sharing a tent with you guys," Jubilee said to Storm and Iceman before bedtime.

"I will also miss it," Storm said.

"Me too," Bobby added. "And if either of you ever want a backrub, just knock on my door."

"I offer both of you the same," Storm said.

Beast was in the room with them at the time, and Iceman turned to his best friend. "And anytime you need your coat brushed, you just holler, ok?"

Beast nodded appreciatively. "Thank you, Bobby. And I know I can count on you to tell me when my coat is shaggy."

"You bet, hairball!"

The Professor sat in his room, reading some print outs from the computer before bed, when his communicator chirped. "It's Wolverine," the voice on the other end said. "I'm gonna sleep outside tonight. Just wanted to tell you where I'll be, Professor."

"Thank you for telling me, Wolverine," the Professor said. He knew not to question Logan about this. If the man wanted to sleep on the hard ground, that was his choice. Wolverine brought his sleeping bag and flat pillow outside. One more night under the stars, breathing the fresh air….it would be his last time for months. He was not about to miss it.

* * *

The next morning, a wrench was thrown into the works for the X-men. The storms ended much sooner than they had expected. Half of the group was still in bed.

"We need to begin take-off preparations *now*," Beast said over the intercom, waking up several members of the team. If the storms were ending sooner, his readings illustrated that they would begin anew sooner too. This was hours earlier than they had expected. Beast silently cursed himself. How could his calculations yesterday have been so far off? Cyclops and Storm scrambled to the bridge, both with unkempt hair and sleepy faces. Storm wore her pajamas and a robe. Cyclops was dressed, but clearly taken by surprise.

"Wolverine decided to sleep outdoors," the Professor spoke into the intercom. "Wolverine, come in," he said, activating his communicator. "Where are you?"

There was no answer. The Professor took a deep breath. Apparently the Canadian had removed his communicator. The Professor then spoke into the intercom, "Everyone, get in position for take-off. Go to your stations. Jean and Colossus, however, a different mission for you. Disembark and find Wolverine. He's outside and he couldn't have gone far. He does not have his communicator on." He repeated his instructions until receiving acknowledgement from Jean and Colossus.

"Acknowledged, Professor," Jean said. She met Colossus by the ship's airlock and they disembarked together. "We'll have Wolverine in a few minutes," she said as they made their way down the ship's exit ramp. Wolverine's pillow and sleeping bag lay proximate to the ship where their campground had been. Wolverine was nowhere in sight.

Jean began mentally scanning the area. She called to Wolverine, using her mind. She breathed a quick sigh of relief when he responded. He let her know that he'd been swimming and would be there in a minute.

"Sorry if I scared you, darlin'" Wolverine called out, emerging from the trail that led to the lake. "I thought we were leaving a few hours from now."

/There's been a change of plans./ Jean spoke into his mind. She and Colossus spotted Wolverine's form as he jogged their way.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Jean exclaimed when her teammate was in visual range. Wolverine was buck naked. Jean rolled her eyes, turned her back, and returned to the ship.

"You might want to put clothes on before we take off," Colossus said, chuckling.

Wolverine shrugged, a bit peeved to have been called away like this. "What's the story, Colossus? Why are we leavin' now?" He picked up his sleeping bag and pillow, carrying them.

"Beast say that storm ended earlier than he think. So we need to go now before it start up again," Colossus explained as the men walked up the ramp.

"We have Wolverine," Colossus said, speaking into the intercom.

"Excellent," the Professor said. "Come to engineering right away for take-off."

Jean's voice cut in. "They need a minute or two. Wolverine is not decent." A bit of laughter was heard through the intercom.

After not long, the group was ready. Cyclops, Storm and Beast sat on the bridge. Everyone else was strapped into their seats in engineering. Most of the group were in some state of undress; only the Professor looked as if he'd showered and had breakfast.

Wolverine took the empty seat next to Jean. He grinned. "Sorry if the sight of me offended you this morning, darlin'."

Jean smirked. "It didn't offend me. I was a little ***under*** whelmed, though," she joked. Wolverine was now clad in a pair of jeans.

"You just ain't used to seeing such a hairy chest, are you?"

Jean rolled her eyes again. The site of Wolverine was not at all unpleasant but she sure wasn't about to let that out. Jubilee, sitting near the two, didn't even try to stifle a giggle.

Cyclops's voice rang over the intercom. "We'll be ready for take off in five minutes now." The whir of the engines starting up sounded. Machinery and engines hummed.

The mood on the bridge was tense. Beast could not help but to shake his head and repeat his lament, "How could my calculations have been so far off?" Fears swirled around in the others' minds. If the numbers were off yesterday, what did that mean for today?

At one point, Storm did suggest, "Perhaps we should abort the take-off now."

"We do have two hours and 25 minutes, according to these figures," Cyclops said, reading his monitor. "I think we'll be fine."

Successfully lifting the ship from the planet's surface-doing so without jeopardizing the ship's integrity and also leaving the planet intact-would be extremely tricky. By far, it would be the most difficult part. The ship was not taking off from a landing pad or space station, and such a vessel as this one had not been built for this. Cyclops, Storm and Beast checked and re-checked their instruments.

"Take off in 20 seconds," Cyclops said. The ship's computer began a count-down. When it reached the number "1", the noise from the engines intensified. The ship felt as if it were vibrating. None of the inhabitants of the ship could physically feel it, but the vessel was traveling upwards, away from the ground.

"We did it," Iceman said, eyeing a nearby console in engineering. The ship was heading for the atmosphere, slowly progressing upwards.

"Nice work, Cyclops," the Professor spoke into the intercom. "Our ship is in one piece and the planet's surface undamaged."

"We're not out of the forest yet," Scott replied. "We still need to successfully enter space."

"But the worst is over," Storm added.

No sooner had the words fallen from her lips when a huge magnetic field storm entered the atmosphere. "Where did that come from?" Beast asked incredulously, staring at his control panel.

Those sitting in engineering could hear panic in Beast's tone, even over the intercom.

"We need to change course," Cyclops said, his fingers working diligently. He updated the X-men in the engine room, letting them know what he planned. Although the ship's crew could not feel it, their vessel veered suddenly in one direction.

Storm's wide eyes started at her console, stunned. "This is an immense storm. How could we have missed it?"

Beast read his monitor. "Uncertain whether this course correction will allow us to successfully avoid the disruption." Hank realized he, and the others, had made a huge miscalculation. They should never have attempted to leave the planet during the three hour window. They should have waited until they had more time, should have not underestimated the unpredictability of the storms.

"I know," Cyclops said, fighting off panic. "Switching to manual."

Cyclops attempted to steer the ship away from the storms, but to no avail. After only minutes, the ship found itself in the middle of a raging magnetic field storm.

Storm attempted once more to use her powers to hold it back, but her efforts were futile. The group found themselves buffeted around, held in place only by their seatbelts. Anything on board the ship that was not held down was thrown back and forth as the ship rocked violently. Wolverine thought of making a joke about being glad he hadn't had time for breakfast that morning, but he thought better of it. His thoughts were interrupted by an explosion - just a few feet away from him! Several people screamed. Jean quickly used her powers to create a bubble around the explosion, protecting the group.

"Our engines have been hit!" Beast exclaimed. He, Storm and Cyclops looked with disbelief at their monitors. The engines were no longer responding to their commands.

"Brace yourselves," Cyclops called out. "We're going down!"

Panicked looks were exchanged all around the engine room. How would they survive a crash? The ship continued to be jostled, often violently. People were becoming dizzy from the constant buffeting. They could feel the ship now rushing downwards. Jubilee placed a protective arm across her abdomen.

The Professor and Jean found each other's eyes across the room and exchanged a look. This would take all their concentration if it was going to work. They each took a deep breath and created a protective bubble around the ship. They could not keep it afloat in the storm, but they could possibly take the ship back down to the surface using the power of their minds. Concentrating, they formed the bubble around the ship. The ship continued to be rocked back and forth but less intensely.

Gently and gradually, the bubble floated the ship back down towards the planet. Both X-men held their eyes closed, the strain of maintaining the ship's protection apparent. Someone filled in the bridge on what was happening.

"We're heading straight for one of the planet's oceans," Cyclops said. "We need the ship to move towards one of the land masses."

The Professor and Jean concentrated harder. Creating the bubble was one thing but being able to steer it was another. They redoubled their efforts. Jean's body shook from the strain. The ship's descent was slowed even more.

Glancing at her monitor, Storm noticed that the ship was moving towards a land mass, but not fast enough. `I might not be able to control the atmospheric storms but I can master the weather here!' Storm thought to herself. Rising from her seat, she spread her arms and spoke. "Winds of this planet, I command you to move our ship! Steer us away from the ocean. Guide us towards the land."

The combined force of the three X-men's powers directed the ship towards the land. The ship was set down on a sandy beach.

As soon as they were able to break out of their seatbelts, Wolverine and Rogue got to work on extinguishing the engine fire that Jean had been containing with her mind. When she saw her teammates working on that, she relaxed her mind and slumped back down in her seat, exhausted. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to clear her head as much as possible. The Professor was also strained from the work but glad for their success. "Thank you for the boost, Storm," he called over the intercom. "We wouldn't have made it to shore without you."

"Is everyone ok down there?" Cyclops asked.

"No one's hurt and the fire is being contained right now," Jubilee answered.

"We got no idea how badly the engines are damaged now," Wolverine said.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A little while later, we sat around the table in the infirmary. Even though we'd only been on the planet for a month, it seemed like it had been ages since we'd had a meeting in the sterile, white walled room. I looked around at my teammates, seeing my own uncertainty and worries reflected in their eyes.

"I still do not understand how our readings were so far off," Hank said, shaking his head.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, Beast," the Professor said. "We all should have realized it. We just need to note that next time a window of three hours is simply not enough. We need to allow for more time, next time."

"If there is a next time," Rogue muttered.

"What is the status of the engines?" the Professor asked. Rogue, Cyclops and Storm had been working on engine repair.

"Not very good," Cyclops said. His tone frightened me. I already knew from what I'd been hearing that the news was not going to be uplifting though. "They sustained heavy damage. To be honest, I just don't know how to fix them."

"None of us on board this ship do," Storm said. "The computer was able to walk us through some basic things we can do. But in order to repair such sophisticated machinery…..it would require an engineer. Someone who has experience with this."

Cyclops made an analogy, "It's like if you buy a new computer program. The 'help' menu will assist you in using the program. But if the entire computer were to break, you wouldn't be able to use the on-line help to fix it; you'd need a programmer. Or a repairman."

"But the entire ship isn't…um, broken, is it?" Jubilee asked. "I mean, the food replicators seem to be on-line, the computers are working, we have lights…."

"All of the basic ship functions are indeed working," Storm said. "With the major exception of the engines. The storm directly hit them. I just don't know what to do to fix them."

"Well, there is no reason to give up," the Professor said. "We have some brilliant minds on this ship." I noticed his gaze was in Hank's direction. "We can learn engineering. The computer might not be able to tell us how to become engineers but it can direct us to sources that can. Beast, would you select a team of 2 or 3, lead the team, learn what you can."

"Become engineers," Hank finished for him. "I would be glad to." I looked over at my best friend. He was about to become one busy man, given this project and the midwife duties he already had. "And I agree with you, Professor, that there is no reason to give up." He paused, "However, we do need to accept the fact that we might be here for a while. It could be a matter of months. However…if we cannot figure out how to repair the engines, or if the engines are beyond repair, it could be much longer." He didn't say it but I bet everyone else thought it. It could be *forever.*

The group then discussed who else should serve on the team along with Hank. We inferred that those with strong mathematical skills and analytical minds would be the best candidates. Right away the Professor suggested Cyclops, and Scott agreed. Storm offered to be on the team and the others agreed she'd be a good addition. "I'll also work on the team," the Professor said. "And then I think four people is more than enough."

I actually had been considering volunteering. I've always been good at math despite having no college degree. Before I was a computer programmer, I was an accountant. (I left the banking industry because it was so homophobic. The computer industry was much better.) But on the other hand, I didn't really * want* to do it (engineering doesn't interest me a great deal), and Storm and the Professor offered beforehand. Four people were more than enough for the team.

Once the engineering team had been decided upon, the conversation turned to our immediate surroundings. "We're on a different continent than the one we had been vacationing on," the Professor said. "Whereas it had been summer on the other side of the planet, it is now late autumn here. Average temperatures the last few weeks have been in the low 50's and 40's during the day and dropping to the 30's and 20's at night. This area has severe winters."

"Worse than New York?" Jean asked.

"Worse than Moscow?" Colossus asked.

The Professor smiled and shrugged. "On a par with either one. We'll want to make sure our heat continues to work." His tone turned more serious. "We are in an area proximate to humanoids though."

I gasped and a few others looked surprised. He continued, "Our sensors show that groups of humanoids are not far from the ship. And…because of the damage done to the engines, our cloaking device doesn't work anymore either."

We had a lengthy discussion of what to do when certain situations might arise with the humanoids. We talked for quite some time and I don't remember all the details, but here is basically what we decided. If we're approached by humanoids and they appear unfriendly and/or they attack us, we will retreat to the ship. We knew that the people on this planet would not have weaponry advanced enough to break through the ship's shields. And if, for some reason, they did, we had a number of different means to protect the ship that wouldn't harm anyone. Jean or the Professor could enclose the ship in a bubble, they also could use their minds to get the people to leave us alone, Jubilee could flash bright lights at the humanoids, Storm could create weather conditions that would force them to run for cover, etc, etc.

Of course we hoped not to have to do any of those things. And mainly, we hoped to avoid contact with the inhabitants. Our being here had huge potential to mess with their natural evolution. Having any contact with us, even seeing our starship, could create massive changes in their history. It sounds like something out of some science fiction show, but they could see us with our starship and surmise that we are gods. (Which wouldn't exactly be a bad change of pace, given how we were treated on earth.) Deciding to worship us would be a massive change in their history. But even if our presence didn't cause such a major disruption as that, we would still be a disturbance and I really felt bad at the thought of that. We didn't choose to be stranded here, but still.

We discussed what to do in the event that the natives were friendly. Of course we knew they would speak a language different than ours, but the Professor and Jean's minds would allow us to communicate. Plus, body language would indicate how they felt about us. If they started throwing stones at us we could surmise they were hostile. But what if they had no desire to harm us? Would communication be appropriate then? We had much discussion around this. We decided that if the inhabitant spot us and do nothing to indicate hostility, we would be pleasant but try to avoid contact.

We knew that was a very idealistic plan. There was a good chance that they would be curious and want to know more about us; avoiding contact might not be possible. We didn't quite settle on what we would do on that event. Should we retreat to the ship and use our non-violent avoidance techniques? Would doing so just create a bigger disruption in their natural evolution then if we did not try to avoid them? There just weren't an easy answers.

Our discussion lasted for many hours. I think everyone was just glad we had survived the crash. Our reactions to other things differed considerably. A few people expressed negativity at the thought of being stuck here (as opposed to at the beautiful campground) for months on end while we tried to figure out how to repair our engines. Others were glad to still be on the planet's surface, even if this area was not as scenic or temperate as the area we left.

I'm not sure how I felt. I hadn't exactly been looking forward to the long journey back towards earth but the thought of it hadn't bothered me in the least, either. I liked the outdoors well enough, and even if this area wasn't as idyllic as the one we left, it would be nice to still be able to get fresh air.

Speaking of fresh air, by the time we finished our discussion, it was evening on the area of planet we were now stranded on. Wolverine announced his intention to sleep outside again.

"I wouldn't advise it, Logan," the Professor said. "It's supposed to get down to 20 degrees tonight."

"I can handle it," Wolverine muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous," Hank said. "Despite your healing factor, I cannot imagine it would be the least bit comfortable outside tonight."

"Does the air in here bother you that much, sugar?" Rogue asked, with a smile.

Storm got an idea, "Logan, I could use my powers to make it warmer out-" she stopped herself. "Of course, what am I saying? Using my powers to influence the weather here would be interference, and would not be appropriate for a reason such as this."

"I can handle cold," Wolverine said flatly. Man, he looked to be in a foul mood. I wasn't sure if he was angry at being taken away from our vacation spot or if this was just his general grumpiness. Always hard to tell with him if he's just being his normal crabby self or if something is really making him upset.

Cyclops shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to sleep outside tonight. This area is new to us and we don't know what's out there. Our sensors do show some large animals in the vicinity." Wolverine opened his mouth to speak but Cyclops cut him off, "Yeah, we know you can handle any large animal, but again that would be interference."

The Professor said, with finality, "Logan, please just stay inside this first night with everyone until we get a better handle on the situation."

Wolverine crossed his arms over his chest, looking none too pleased. "Alright," he grumbled.

So that was it for our meeting.

* * *

Hank and I spent some time talking that evening in his room. He said we would just have to see what happens, both with getting the engines repaired as well as with any contact with the natives.

"I know you're dying to learn more about the natives," I said.

"I am," he confessed. "I would love to study them, their culture, their ways. The scientist in me is abuzz with the thought of learning about these people. But as much as I want that, I hope and pray we do not have any contact with them. It is not right to disrupt their evolution."

"I know," I said. "But we might not have a choice if they come find us. It's pretty darn unlikely that they're going to stumble upon our starship, and just shrug and walk off."

Hank nodded. "True. Although one never knows. Our minds have been influenced by science fiction. But perhaps they are xenophobes and have no desire to make any contact with others. Perhaps they will see our starship and be completely uninterested."

"You never know. Hey, you are going to be one busy guy between being appointed chief engineer-in-training, given that you're already the village midwife."

Hank smiled. "Better too busy than not busy enough. Jubilee is due in just over four weeks"

That night, I went to bed as normal but couldn't sleep. There wasn't anything in particular bothering me; I just get this way sometimes and sleep fails me. I've done a lot of tossing and turning in bed over the years. I'm not totally sure why. I think maybe it's because I'm not the calmest person and getting to a relaxed state of mind isn't my thing. Hank says I should try meditation. I know he's right but I tried it a few times and couldn't get into it.

When an insomniac night happens, I generally reach a point where I know I'm not getting back to sleep anytime soon. Sometimes I feel like getting up. So that's what happened to me that night. The bed may've been more comfortable than the sleeping bag I'd used the for the past month but it wasn't helping either.

I sat up in bed and tried to decide what to do with the rest of the night. I got the idea that I wanted some hot tea, so I made my way to the infirmary to get at the replicator. At night, we shut off the lights on the ship, so I carried a flashlight to help me reach sick bay. The narrow beam of light cast by the flashlight didn't penetrate the darkness well. Sometimes I have an overactive imagination and I did feel a bit creeped out. I don't have the mental powers of some of my other X-men, but I sensed I was not alone. I fought to remain calm and keep breathing as I walked to sick bay. Maybe I wasn't alone. That would be ok. I can always use my powers against an enemy.

As I turned the hallway corner that would take me from the sleeping quarters to sick bay, I glimpsed the reflection of another light. I continued to walk down the hall. As I got closer to the infirmary, I realized that the light was coming from sick bay itself. I breathed a sigh of relief. One of my fellow X-men obviously was also having a sleepless night. I pressed a button, sliding the door to sick bay away.

"Bobby!" Rogue turned around, looking like the deer caught in the headlights.

"Hi, Rogue," I said. I glanced around. She was standing in front of the replicator, almost as if trying to block it from my view. Her eyes were wide and I detected a faint blush on her cheeks.

"I'm having trouble sleeping so I came in here to get some tea," I explained.

"Oh," she said. You don't often see Rogue at a loss for words. "Uh, I'll be outta here in a just a few minutes." She paused. "Maybe I can just come get you when I'm done here."

I had to smile. What was she hiding? If she hadn't looked so guilty about something I wouldn't have pursued this but at this point I had to know. "What are you doing up?" I said, keeping my tone light.

"Oh, I'm just, um…..Getting myself a snack."

"What are you going to snack on?" I asked, craning my head around, trying to see the replicator that Rogue's body was obviously attempting to block.

"Nuthin'" she said, coyly.

"Oh, come on," I probed.

"What's with that look on your face? Wouldya git outta here and give a girl some privacy?"

"I would, Rogue," I grinned, "`Cept you look so darn guilty I really want to know what you're replicating!"

"Git outta here, Drake! None of your business."

"Hmmmmm," I said thoughtfully. "You know, we're only supposed to replicate * necessary* supplies now, since we're conserving dilithium. You wouldn't happen to be replicating something you're not supposed to, would you, Rogue?"

"Fuck you, Drake," she said, this time not being able to resist smiling herself. She added, "We now got enough dilithium for 7 years. In fact, it'll be a lot more than 7 years depending on how long we're stuck here, since we ain't usin the cloaking device or travelin' through space! So we're allowed to be more lax now."

"Where didja hear that? I could swear I heard Cyclops say at the meeting today that we still need to conserve dilithium, even though we have a lot of it."

Rogue threw her hands up in the air though she was still smiling. "Okay. You caught me! I'm disobeying orders. Turn me in, if you want to! I'll get a stern talking-to from the Professor or maybe they'll write me up."

"Actually, I'm really dying to know what you're being so secretive about. You let me in on it and I promise I won't make a peep about this." I was still smiling and I made sure I didn't sound threatening. I just had to know!

"Okay," she said. "It's underwear. I'm replicating myself some underwear. Okay?"

"My gut tells me you're not replicating just any underwear."

"Fuck you," she said, laughing as she threw the pattern at me. (Whenever you're going to make something that he replicator has not before created, you need to feed a pattern to it. Apparently Rogue had printed up her pattern and that's what she whipped at me.)

I looked at the pattern. "Whoa! You're going to catch the death of cold in that!" I teased, as I looked at the alluring lingerie pattern. "Gambit will like this."

"Don't you know it, sugar!" she said, proudly. "Now promise you won't tell?" she asked, her voice switching to a tone sweet as spun sugar.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," I said. We laughed together a bit more and I forgot about the tea I'd come for.

* * *

The days passed slowly. The Professor, Hank, Cyclops and Storm spent huge chunks of time learning about engineering. They approached the project as if it were their full time job and worked 8-10 hours every day on it. They met regularly, sitting around the computer in sick bay, discussing their findings and trying to learn engineering inside out. I was glad I hadn't been picked for the team because Hank told me it was dull and dry work, even for people who loved to learn and were good at math. He told me he much preferred his "midwife" job.

One day I was sitting next to Storm during lunch and I casually asked her how it was going. She smiled and said, "About as well as can be expected. Just keep in mind that people study for years under experienced teachers to become engineers. And our teacher is only a computer, which does not help the situation, no matter how user-friendly the computer is."

"If you had to take a wild guess…." I began.

She knew what I was asking and shook her head. "Not any time soon, Bobby. We could be here for many months. Even a year is not an unreasonable estimate. At this point, we still do not even know if we have—or can replicate-everything we need to make the repairs."

I nodded. "It ain't so bad here. Things could always be worse."

Busy as they were, the engineering team did make time to cautiously explore the outdoors, as did the rest of us. What can I say about our surroundings? They weren't bad. But they sure weren't on a par with that paradise we just left. The days were nippy, but if you bundled yourself up in a jacket, gloves and hat, you were ok. Nights, however, were very cold and there was no talk of sleeping outdoors again, not even from Wolverine. Rain was fairly frequent as were occasional storms. As always, our Storm was reluctant to "fix" the weather. Aside from the fact that she was indoors working for the better part of the day, changing the weather would still be unnecessary interference with the planet.

Our ship had landed on (or, more accurately, been floated to) a sandy beach. Looking at the rhythmic waves crashing, I mused that this would make a beautiful respite during the summer. The beach led off into what I would call a forest. Most of the greenery, however, had lost its leaves; most of the trees and bushes were bare. Lots of trees and other shrubbery clustered together densely; the forest was wide and immense. A few times we tried to walk around it but couldn't. It stretched for miles and miles in each direction. One day, perhaps just a couple days after our "arrival", Rogue expressed a desire to do some exploration via flying.

"No, Rogue," Jean said softly and slowly. "It's too dangerous. There are too many people."

"Really? Lotsa people? Near here?" Rogue asked, her curiosity piqued. (Mine was too.)

"I think so. I'd ask the Professor what he sensed, but he's been working so much that I hate to disturb him. But I sense that there are many, many people. And they are not that far from here. They're sure to see you if you fly."

"Maybe dey will jus think she some kinda exotic bird," Gambit joked. Rogue threw him a sour look.

Jean didn't even try to smile. Actually, she looked concerned. "I hope we can avoid contact with them. I hope they don't come our way. I hate the thought of us crashing in here and messing up some species' natural process. It's just not right."

"You look worried," I said.

"I fear that we might not be able to avoid contact, especially given that it doesn't look like we're leaving any time soon."

Her words left me with an ominous sense of dread.

Not long after this conversation, a few members of the group had an adventure in the forest which could have turned deadly. Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit and Colossus had decided to explore the forest, something I was not eager to do. Their accounts of the situation varied a little bit but apparently a few large animals decided to attack them! They described the animals as perhaps akin to tigers, and said there had been 4 or 5 of them. Fortunately the group got away basically unscathed. The animals charged, but with Wolverine's claws, Colossus's indestructibility, Rogue's strength and Gambit's ability to create small explosions, the group was never in any real danger. Colossus and Wolverine had born the brunt of the animals' charging. Colossus can't be harmed by hardly anything when he changes into his metal form, so he was undamaged. Wolverine had been scraped by some of the animals' claws, but his healing power repaired him before he even reached camp.

Jean, Jubilee and I were all bit scared when we listened to their description of the confrontation, but the four kept reassuring us that they were fine and not to worry. We hoped these animals would stay in the forest. Whenever I took walks along the beach now, I was extra alert. Storm suggested that no one ever go off by themselves, so the group then followed the "buddy system." In some way, I guess it was silly of me to worry. My powers were strong; I could freeze any predators inside blocks of ice in a matter of seconds. But if there were dozens of attackers or if I was taken by surprise….it would not be so easy.

* * *

One evening after dinner, the X-men held a baby shower for Jubilee. Although their need to conserve energy was no longer as pressing, they rarely replicated junk food. An exception was made this time, and slices of cake and ice cream were passed around.

The baby shower took place in the X-men's new rec room. Iceman and Jean had simply turned the meeting room into a recreation room one day. The group had decided that they needed a lounge, as there was nowhere on the ship to just "hang out." The mansion used to have a rec room. People tended to congregate in the infirmary or sometimes the gym, but those places had no comfortable chairs for people to relax in. Iceman had located two sofas and five recliners from elsewhere on the ship, and Jean used her powers to float the comfortable furniture into the new rec room. The meeting room's table was moved to the side and another one of the food replicators was installed there. The group unanimously liked their new lounge.

Prior to the shower, the Professor had given the group some guidelines. They wanted to give Jubilee a nice shower and all the supplies she would need, but conserving dilithium still was a priority. Jubilee understood this and knew the gifts would not be extravagant. However, a play pen had been replicated and it was placed in the rec room, as Scott and Jean's baby would certainly use it too. Several well-made toys and rattles were presented to Jubilee as well.

"Oh, I love this! I think this will be really useful," Jubilee enthused. Jean had created a baby carrier, which would hold the infant against Jubilee's chest or back.

"See," Jean said excitedly, "your hands will be free, so you can move around ok with the baby. And this is neat too, because it will hold her close to your body so you can share warmth."

"Is this a hint, Jean, on what you're going to want soon?" Bobby teased. Jean was now "showing"; anyone who looked closely enough at the small bulge in her midsection could tell that she was expecting.

Rogue replicated a few different baby outfits. "Look at the pattern on this jumper!" Jubilee said. "It's so cute. This is some really nice work, Rogue."

"Why thank you, ma'am," Rogue said.

Bobby added, "Rogue is quite good at replicating interesting articles of clothing." He winked at Gambit as he said it. Gambit stifled a giggle, as Rogue kicked Bobby under the table.

The mood at the shower was perhaps not as festive as it had been, say, at their Christmas celebration. The Professor, Cyclops, Storm and Beast were tired and a bit frustrated from their many hours at work and miniscule progress. A few members of the group were more shaken by Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, and Colossus's encounter in the woods than they wanted to admit. The drab weather wasn't helping either. And Beast took another glance at Jubilee's form. Her birth plan was ready to go; everyone who would be assisting in it understood their roles. But he kept going back to Jubilee's tiny frame. The birth could be quite an ordeal.

* * *

"So what you tink about all dis baby stuff, chere?" Gambit asked Rogue. The couple sat on the bridge one evening, Rogue in Remy's lap. They came to the bridge for some privacy as half the group was relaxing together in the rec room. Their hands were leisurely playing with each other's hands, fingers, arms, elbows as they talked. "You ever think of havin' one yourself?"

"I dunno, Remy. I never thought before that I'd be able to touch anybody." She paused, "And we were lucky `cause those first few times we didn't use any protection and I totally forgot that I could get pregnant."

"I forgot too, chere." For an instant, Gambit's mind went to the condoms that he kept in his pocket. He carried them with him since he and Rogue never knew when the mood would strike.

"I sure wasn't used to it since what we used to do before I could never get pregnant from. But anyway. We're outta the frying pan now." Rogue had menstruated since those first passionate days with Gambit, and she was thankful for that. She turned her attention to Gambit's hair and began playing with it, twirling it in her fingers. "You know, I wonder if I even * can* have children though. We can touch because of this collar. But what about having a baby? Is it gonna even be able to grow inside me or will my absorption powers….?" She let her voice trail off.

"Dat is a question we should ask Hank, chere. Dat is…if we ever do wanna have children."

Rogue smiled. "Well I don't know yet if I even want them, but if I do, Mister….I want a weddin' ring on my finger first!" She hadn't meant to come on so strong. She had no immediate desire to marry, so she switched to a lighter tone of voice. "But so…what do you think of this whole baby thing yourself, Cajun?"

"Gambit likes children. He thinks he gonna want some of his own, but he not dying to have them now."

Rogue shrugged. "I guess that's pretty much how I feel, too. I wouldn't mind havin' one someday, but not anytime soon. Besides," her voice became pensive, "I mean, I'm always gonna worry too. What if I can get pregnant but my powers make me have a miscarriage each time?" She looked out through the big picture window of the bridge. The window faced towards the sea the X-men's ship had narrowly escaped being thrown into. Rogue looked at the endless expanse of blue water meeting blue sky.

"Chere, don't worry about it till we decide is time dat we want children. And then who knows what Hank say? Maybe it is possible. I hope it is dough."

"If it ain't, we could always adopt," she said, turning her head back to look at Gambit again. She laced her fingers through his.

"`Dough not if we stuck here on dis planet the rest of our lives," Gambit grumbled.

"Don't even say such a thing, Swamp Rat! We won't be stuck here forever. But….if we ever do go back to earth, I don't see anyone letting two mutants adopt children, either."

"Maybe we allowed to adopt mutant children," Gambit suggested. "Ole Cyke and Jubilee never got adopted. And Cyke told us dat when he went back to visit his old orphanage, it was the mutant kids who were the last ones to get adopted."

Rogue nodded grimly. "Yeah, but if FOH is still in power when we get back to earth, we ain't gonna be allowed to adopt anyone, mutant or not."

"Shit, we'll be lucky if we ain't rounded up into camps and taken away!" Gambit paused, "Chere, let's not talk of dis stuff anymore. It jus' make us depressed."

"You're right. Well….let's think of something happy. Like…." it popped into her head, "like the last time we went to Mardi Gras!"

Gambit leaned his head back and sighed with happiness. "Dat last one was one of de best," he reminisced. "Hotter `en hell, unlike dis freezing place. I can still smell the fried catfish and hear the music…."

"And see all those cool costumes!" Rogue mused. She stroked Remy's face, his stubbly chin. "And I like that we had a week together in that hotel room. No interruptions, no Magneto, no FOH, none of that shit."

"Gambit `specially liked the nights in dat hotel room, chere," he murmured, reaching for one of Rogue's exploring fingers and kissing it. "We used a lot of satin and a lot of latex gloves during dat vacation. `Dough what we got now even better."

"I never dreamed it could be like this," Rogue said. She broke off their embrace for a second to reach into her tote bag for the collar she carried with her when she and Gambit went off like this. Gambit smiled, sensing he would indeed be using one of the condoms he carried with him that evening.

* * *

I had been playing cards in the rec room with Gambit and Jubilee on a cold day when it happened. We heard Rogue and Colossus running up the entrance to the ship and making a ruckus. The three of us exchanged looks with each other and got up to investigate what was going on. The others joined us too until we all met in the hallway.

"We saw people!" Colossus exclaimed.

"There were people out there!" Rogue added.

We got them to calm down, and the group assembled in the lounge to hear their story. Basically, Rogue and Colossus told us that they'd been getting some fresh air outside when they heard a sound. They noticed, off in the distance, about 3 or 4 humanoids looking at them from behind some bushes. They could hear the natives talking with each other in a strange tongue, pointing to Rogue and Colossus and pointing to the starship.

"I know we're supposta avoid contact," Rogue said. "We probably should've right away turned back to the ship and all. But I wanted to get a better look. I took a few steps towards them but they ran off."

Rogue and Colossus did what they could to describe the people. "We only see them for a few seconds," Colossus explained. "And they were far off, and my eyesight not so good for long distances." They said that the people appeared to be short and stocky, though it was hard to tell how stocky because they were bundled in layers of clothing on this cold day. They were holding items in their arms but Rogue and Colossus did not know what those items were.

"I couldn't tell if they were men or women," Rogue said. "Like he said, we only saw `em for a few seconds and they were wearing lots of layers of clothes, and things like hats and scarves. But that's the description from what I could see."

"It is also difficult to say if they scared or fascinated by us," Colossus added.

We talked this over and the group decided to try to stay indoors the next few days. The people might come back with others to investigate. Of course we knew that even if we remained indoors, most likely the natives would want to check out our ship since it obviously was such a foreign object to them.

Our alternatives were limited. The cloaking device was still not repaired, and it did not look as if it would be fixed anytime soon. Jean and the Professor could always use their mental powers to turn the natives away or make them think that they saw nothing out of the ordinary. The two had much discussion over which would be a worse type of interference in their development, but they agreed that attempting to disrupt their minds in this way was a bigger sin. Indeed, they did not even know if their powers would work on these humanoids. It was not inconceivable that they wouldn't work, given that Storm could not control the atmospheric storms.

Speaking of Storm, she proposed creating a thick mist around the ship, and we discussed that at length too. But a mist could cause just as much wonder and speculation among the natives as the sight of our ship. Besides, the mist would not prevent adventurous ones from exploring and still running into (literally) the ship. Every option that came up amounted to interference, and we never knew which would be the lesser evil. "That's the bottom line," Cyclops summed up. "We just don't know which choice is going to turn out to be better or worse for the natives."

Strangely, after all this discussion that afternoon, no humanoids returned during the next few days. We dutifully remained indoors but nothing happened. Forbidding ourselves to go outside wasn't so bad, as the temperature fell to the mid 20's anyway. We had set up one monitor in the rec room to allow us to view the area surrounding our ship, and we spent many hours looking at, well, nothing.

After more days passed, we decided to allow ourselves to go outside as we wanted, on the condition that we traveled in groups of two or more. Cold as it was outside, we did look forward to fresh air. The sun came out that day as well. After breakfast, Wolverine, Jubilee, Jean and I decided to take a walk. The others just warned us to be careful, and we departed the ship down the exit ramp.

"Brrrr…I forgot how cold it gets out here!" Jubilee exclaimed, pulling her red scarf around her face. We walked along the beach, which made for a very chilly walk but kept us from heading into the forest.

"But feel that sun," Wolverine said, tilting his head up. The sun was indeed bright and gave off some warmth despite the cold air. He took a deep breath. "It is good to be outdoors."

"The air here really is delicious," Jean said as we walked. "From what I remember, the air on earth is nowhere near as….pure."

"There definitely is a difference, darlin'. I can smell the chemicals and pollution crap in the air on earth. This air has almost none of that."

We continued to walk, keeping our pace a bit slower so Jubilee could keep up with us. "Sorry if I'm holding you up," Jubilee said.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Wolverine said.

"When I get bigger, I'm going to walk the same way you do," Jean said, smiling.

"You mean `waddle', not `walk'," Jubilee joked. I extended my hand and she took it. Her gloved hand felt warm against mine. She and I walked behind Wolverine and Jean. Holding her hand felt pleasant, natural.

We continued on for several minutes. Jean pointed upwards as several birds flew by, high above us. "I wonder what they are," she murmured. "From here they look not unlike seagulls."

"You know, I bet this place is kinda pretty in the summer," Jubilee said. "Maybe not like the other place we stayed at, but I bet this beach is nice when the sun's on the water and the temperature's warm."

"I bet you're right," I said, "but it would be nice if we could be outta here before the-" Jubilee and I literally bumped into Jean and Wolverine, as both of our older teammates had stopped in their tracks.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I sense others," Jean whispered.

"I can smell them," Wolverine added.

Jubilee and I were quiet. We darted our heads and eyes around but I didn't see anything. I looked at Jean and Wolverine. He was sniffing in the direction of the forest. Jean's eyes were closed, concentrating. After a few moments, she breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't sense any animus," she said quietly. "I sense….goodness."

"You never can be sure," Wolverine said in a low voice. "We need to be on our toes, Red." The four of us pretty much froze there, until Wolverine pointed in the direction of the forest. "There they are."

My eyesight is pretty strong. Off in the distance, I could see figures approaching us. It was hard to tell how many, but as they got closer I counted four.

Jean spoke, "I just told the Professor. He suggests we use our instincts on this."

"Y-You're sure they're not harmful?" Jubilee asked, her hands placed protectively on her abdomen.

"I sense only curiosity and no desire to hurt us."

"They could be shielding something from you, Jean," Wolverine said. "We don't know what their minds are capable of. Maybe they have some ability to fake you out." His body was tense and alert, ready to protect and defend.

The four people continued to approach us. They walked at a steady and consistent pace, neither hurrying nor sauntering.

"If they try something," Wolverine said quietly, "Bobby, you and I will hold `em off. Jean, you create a bubble around yourself and Jubilee, and get back to the ship."

"Okay," I said, getting prepared to turn into Iceman if I had to. Unless these four natives had some fantastic powers, they would not stand a chance against Wolverine's claws and my ice throwing.

"Okay, Logan," Jean said, "but I am now very certain that they will not attack us. And you will not hurt them, because there is no reason to."

Despite Jean's words, Wolverine looked ready to pounce. I hoped his appearance, clearly battle-ready, would not frighten the people off. As they made their way closer, I figured that any of the four of us might look strange and possibly quite scary, depending on what they were used to. I peered at the humanoids. I noticed that they were wrapped in wintry clothing. Two of them wore fur and the others had on something that looked akin to leather. Their heads were wrapped with the warm coverings which made it difficult to get a good look at them.

The closer they got, I noticed that they were short, as Rogue and Colossus had told us. Jubilee was about 5 feet tall, and I could tell that none of them were going to be taller than her. They continued to walk towards us, stopping when they were roughly 15 feet away from us. They looked at us, with wonder in their eyes.

One of the natives said something to us. Of course it was in a language we could not understand. The voice sounded female to me. She repeated whatever it was that she said, speaking rapidly and in a somewhat high pitched tongue.

Jean spoke to us, "I am going to use my mind to communicate that we are friendly and we come in peace," she said. Wolverine still looked ready to fight, but I found myself relaxing.

"They welcome us," Jean said, turning to us. She then turned back towards the natives and continued to talk to them telepathically.

"They want to know our names and where we come from," she added, facing us again, after a few moments. "They ask us if we need anything."

Jean turned back to the natives and said her name. "Jean," she repeated. She then gestured for us to do the same and we did so, each of us slowly saying their name. "Bobby….Jubilee….Wolverine." Wolverine didn't look too happy with the introductions, but he went along with it. I had no doubt, however, that he was still extremely alert and would be ready to strike at the slightest provocation.

The natives then attempted to repeat our names but stumbled over the syllables, especially `Wolverine' and `Jubilee.' They then gave their names. I didn't catch them, but they were one or two syllables each and, of course, very foreign sounding to me. After each had spoken, from their voices I thought that two were male and two female. It still was hard to tell judging from anything else since they were all dressed so similarly. The two who's voices had sounded female were slightly shorter than the other two. Seeing their faces under the hats and scarves was difficult though.

One of them pointed at Jubilee, and the other natives looked at her with interest. During that split second, I wondered why they might single her out. I thought I had the reason when I took another glance at their faces. Under those scarves and everything else they were bundled up in, it did appear as if their faces were Asian-looking. As I stared even closer, I thought their eyes resembled those of Asians'.

But then one of the people pointed at Jubilee's belly. Even under her heavy coat, she was obviously pregnant. The native stepped closer to her. I eyed Wolverine and he looked ready to charge. "Logan, it's ok," Jean whispered. Jubilee looked a bit nervous but fine.

The native, who was female, I think, placed her hand on Jubilee's belly. She said something to the others and then said something to Jean. One by one, her three companions went up to Jubilee and touched their hands to her belly for a few seconds each. Each said something to her.

"What, don't any of your people ever get pregnant?" Jubilee asked. She sounded annoyed, but she was smiling.

"It is a tradition of theirs," Jean explained after having an exchange with the natives, "whenever they see a pregnant woman, they welcome her in this fashion. They consider it a blessing on their people. Expectant mothers are a sign of a healthy people, a sign of good luck and favor from the gods."

"Well, whatever," Jubilee said, smiling.

The people said something to Jubilee. Jean, again, spoke into their minds and then translated for us. "They are asking you if you need anything in preparation for the baby. I told them that we have everything we need but we thank them for their kind offer."

Basically, the four natives continued to stare at us in awe and talk among themselves excitedly. Our appearances had to be so odd to them. Jubilee, of course, resembled them the most in facial features and body size, though Jubilee was usually slender and these people did appear stocky. The rest of us must've looked quite odd. Wolverine was short for a North American man, but he was tall compared to these people. His stocky build would fit right in, but I wonder what they made of his face. Jean and I must have looked stranger still, being taller and of fairly medium or slender shapes. Studying their faces, I thought of how mine really contrasted with theirs. I had the crease in my eyelids that they lacked, my nose stood out, my face oval-shaped, and skin pale. Their skin was darker, their faces mostly flat and round.

The four natives then repeated the blessing they'd given to Jubilee by also touching Jean's midsection in a similar way. "I told them that I'm pregnant too," she explained. More thoughts were exchanged between Jean and the people. "They're asking if we're from the same group as the two others they saw a few days ago are. They mean Rogue and Colossus, and I told them yes." The people continued to talk to Jean and she continued to read their minds. "Wow," Jean murmured. "Basically, they want to know everything about us. They want to meet everyone from our…tribe, or whatever you'd call it, and get to know us."

We four X-men exchanged looks. "I am going to update the Professor and see what he thinks," Jean said. She first communicated something to the natives. They then ceased speaking to her as she closed her eyes and "spoke" with the Professor. I continued to look at the people, and my eyes met one of the native's eyes. I smiled at him and he returned my smile. Jubilee was doing the same thing, smiling and looking pleasant. Wolverine didn't smile and still looked wary, though less so than he had. I could tell from the way the people looked at Wolverine that they were a bit afraid of him. I continued to smile and look as friendly as I could. My gut was telling me that Jean was right and these people were very nice. Besides, Jean's powers were always right.

Jean and the Professor continued their dialog for a few minutes. I wondered if they were having a disagreement. Jean finally turned to us. "He thinks we should decline their offer. His direction is to make up an excuse and return to the ship."

"I agree with him," Wolverine said. Jean's eyes told me she did not. It was clear as day that she wanted to get to know these people better. My mind thought back to Hank on board the ship and knew he'd be dying to hear all about this. I imagined the Professor was telling the others what was going on here, and bet Hank was wishing he had Nightcrawler's power to teleport right here, right now.

The natives continued to look at us, and especially Jean. Their conversation with her began again, and she spoke with them for quite some time. As I watched the humanoids, I noted that they did not appear to have a leader, not as far as I could tell. One woman seemed to speak a bit more often than the others, but all four of them took part in the conversation. The four turned towards each other and seemed to be having their own discussion for a minute.

Jean then looked at us. "I made up an excuse," she said. "I told them that our leader would like us to return. They kept pressing me for a reason and they were a bit hurt that we declined their hospitality. I just kept telling them that we did not wish to be a burden on them and that the members of our tribe are all very shy and prefer to not be in contact with others. They didn't understand that at all but it was the best I could do." She paused, "So, come on," she said, turning back the way we had come. "I will tell them `goodbye.'" She did so, and the four said some words to us. "They're saying goodbye too." Jean then led us away.

The four of us walked back to the ship. Wolverine occasionally turned his head or sniffed the air, ensuring that we were not being followed. No need to say what we talked about on our way back to the ship, or what the other 7 members of our "tribe" wanted to hear about the second we returned to the ship.

"Their minds were so open and peaceful, it was incredible," Jean said. "It's like how the air on this planet is so much more pure and unpolluted than the air on earth. These people's minds were so clear. The thought of being hostile to-or afraid of-strangers was not even considered by them. The very idea of being wary of strangers was insane to them."

* * *

The 11 of us sat in the rec room. I smiled, thinking what a good idea I'd had to put this room together and how frequently it was now used. It just was so much cozier than the infirmary. Six of us sat on the two sofas; everyone else had a recliner to him- or herself. We'd arranged the furniture so that we were roughly in a circle. I thought of how most family living rooms had the furniture arranged facing the TV. We, of course, had no TV so the furniture formed a circle. A small round table and a few folding chairs had been moved into the lounge as well. I also had moved some of the seedlings I was tending to into the rec room to give it a homier feel. My goal would be to eventually, somehow get some sort of art work or something to brighten the walls.

And please, no jokes about gay stereotypes right now. : ) (Rogue and Gambit had teased me endlessly along those lines, calling me the ship's Interior Decorator. But I knew their teasing was meant in a very friendly way, so I didn't mind.)

Jean, Wolverine, Jubilee and I each told our version of the encounter to the group and answered everyone's questions as best as we could. People leaned forward in their seats, riveted to our words.

"I was really touched when they all put their hands on me," Jubilee said.

Hank piped up, clearly hanging on our every words, "That is wonderful. Fascinating. Did you know that if a pregnant woman gets into water with dolphins, they'll circulate around her belly and echolocate on it?"

"Uh, no I didn't know," I said. "And what the hell is `echolocate'?"

Jubilee ignored my comment and went on, "I was just surprised that they didn't react more to how weird we must look," Jubilee said.

Jean shook her head. "See, these people are so amazing. We do look very different from everyone in their tribe but the difference didn't scare them at all. They were curious about it, but not the least bit worried."

"Heck, we could use people with that attitude towards mutants back on earth," Rogue said.

"There was only one time when any of them communicated something that….gave me pause," Jean said. "One of them asked me, `You are not with those demons we heard of, are you?' I asked him what he had meant. He told me that their tribe had been hearing rumors from tribes far to the east that there were groups of demons-for lack of a better word-who were spreading violence and basically waging war on groups of people. He said he didn't know if it was true or not, and that violence and war were concepts that had not even known of before these rumors." She paused. "The odd thing was all I did was simply assure him we were not those demons and would not wage any war…..and he just believed me like that. The people are very naive, trusting, welcoming of strangers…." Jean went on.

She told the group what she had told Jubilee, Wolverine and I on our walk back to the ship. As she mentally conversed with the natives, she had entered their minds to learn a bit about their lives. Her powers allowed her to take a peak into their day to day activities and their feelings. "They live in a tribe of about 150-200 people. They are centered in a clearing inside the forest, and they live in caves and tents. Their society is very peaceful and gentle. They have no concept of war, and the only weapons they have, they use for hunting. Their tribe's leader is an elderly woman, though they also have a group of about 20 men and women who make some decisions for the group and solve disputes. I was so fascinated, I could have stayed in their minds for hours learning all about them. I wanted to, but it was hard to do that while communicating with them at the same time and speaking to the group too." She paused. "It was amazing how unphased they were by our appearance as well as my ability to speak into their minds. They didn't treat it as anything unusual."

"What about other peoples?" Hank asked. "Are there other tribes near here?" Hank was practically falling off the edge of his seat, he was so interested.

"I didn't ask them specifically about that, and I couldn't tell from bits I gleaned from going into their minds. But," she paused for a second, thinking back, "something one of them said implied that they do have friends in other…villages. Oh yes. When one of them asked us whether we were the demons they'd heard rumors of. As he was saying that, I saw a glimpse of a network-or whatever you want to call it-of villages who keep in contact. That is how they heard of the rumors about these demons to the east."

"I wonder what these demons are," Cyclops mused. "If they even exist."

Jean looked at the Professor. "It really pained me to have to say goodbye to them. They did not understand why we refused their hospitality."

The Professor took a breath. I suspected that my hunch may have been correct; the two of them had been having a mental disagreement when deciding what to do. "We have already interfered in their natural development. There is no need for further interference."

"But Professor, they were so unphased by us. They were extremely curious, but our being there didn't….freak them out in anyway. They wanted to learn. Like we do."

Hank said, "The contact we had today already made them aware of our existence. I wonder if it truly would harm them, should we visit their village and get to know them." He paused, "In fact, I wonder if ceasing contact with them now could present a greater disruption."

"How do you figure that?" Wolverine asked, sounding skeptical.

"If we cease contact now, they have many unanswered questions about us. But if we visit them, tell them a little about ourselves, answer some questions….and then explain why we think no contact is best, then we have some closure." Hank explained.

The Professor looked at Hank. I suspect he was just a bit displeased by the words of one of us favorite students. "Hank, I understand and share your wish to learn more about these people," he said slowly. "But any more interference would only make the situation worse. There can be no justification for further impacting their evolution, no matter how we might try to rationalize it." The Professor never sounded harsh, and he didn't this time but he made it clear that he thought Hank was trying to rationalize his desire to learn about the people. Hank looked as if he regretted his words.

"Besides," Wolverine said, "we don't know what they're hiding. Maybe they ain't so peace-loving."

Jean did not attempt to hide the exasperation with Wolverine in either her tone or facial expression. "I entered their minds. I saw their village. They have no concept of violence, no suspicion towards strangers. Unless you doubt my powers or something, we have nothing to fear from them."

I suspected this meeting could turn ugly.

It was Wolverine's turn now to look as if he regretted his words. He intently looked at Jean and said, "I never doubt your powers, Jean."

It seemed as though Rogue rushed to Wolverine's aid by saying, "For all we know, these people got some sorta super abilities and some way to mentally shield things from you, or mentally give you a false image. Logan's only concerned for everyone's safety, Jean."

Jean still did not look pleased. "I guess it is * conceivable* that they have those abilities, Rogue, but not very likely. And if they are somehow miraculously hiding some violent plan from us, I highly doubt they could dish out anything that we couldn't handle."

The Professor tried to look patient. He smiled and spread his hands, "Listen, everyone. This is an emotional moment for all of us. We're all very curious about these people. At the same time, we all want to remain safe and to not disrupt their natural evolution or drastically alter the course of their history."

The room was quiet for a moment, thinking over his words. He was right; we pretty much all could agree on those things. "Since we are in agreement on that," he continued, "we need to think of the best way to accomplish these objectives."

"You know, we already take dilithium from this planet," Colossus said. "Even though it was on different continent, we already interfered. So maybe is best to not interfere any more."

The group continued to discuss this. Jean argued passionately for having some contact with the natives, even if it was just one final visit. Jubilee and Cyclops expressed agreement with Jean. Rogue, Gambit and I all expressed some ambivalence; we saw both sides. Storm agreed with the Professor. She almost always does. Hank was silent. I knew he disagreed with the Professor, but he would not publicly cross him now.

At the end of the discussion, it was decided to not seek out the humanoids any more, and to avoid them should they attempt to contact us again. This was decided under the protests of Jean. She finally said, though, "Well, I guess I must accept this decision. If this is what the group feels is best, then I must go with it." I knew she would. So that was the end of the debate.

By then, it was lunchtime. We moved into the infirmary and lunch was prepared. Jean spoke more about the natives during our meal. She made it clear that she would follow the group's decision, but she continued to express wonder. "I sensed such amazing things from their minds," she enthused. "I knew that they had no concept of violence or of hurting another person. Like those things do not happen in their society."

"I wish we knew their child-rearing methods," Hank said. "And their religious or spiritual beliefs." He glanced at the Professor and assured the group he, too, would abide by the no-contact rule, before continuing on. "It would be fascinating to know how they learn and practice non-violence. And I wonder about their physiology. How similar are they to us? Or to non-mutant humans?"

I shrugged, "You know, from what we could see they were shorter and all but they sure didn't * look* much different."

Jubilee expressed some interest in their Asian appearances. We all speculated as to whether this planet had different races, as earth did. Hank then added that most anthropologists believe that race is an arbitrary concept.

Needless to say, the lunchtime conversation did not drag or have any gaps. We could talk of nothing but the inhabitants of this area.

* * *

Jean and Cyclops cuddled together in their room that evening. Scott felt a bit frustrated over having had such an unproductive day. After lunch, the four members of the engineering team had gone back to work as they did every day. However, as much as they tried to focus and as disciplined as they were, their minds were elsewhere. No progress was made on the engines that day.

"Don't be frustrated," Jean said. "You guys didn't have the most productive day. That happens sometimes. Tomorrow will be better."

"You're right, Jeanie," Scott said. He was sitting on the bed with Jean in between his legs, facing the same way as he. His arms were around her, hands resting on her expanding belly. Jean happily nestled against him, feeling the warmth of his chest against her back. "Sometimes I fear we'll be stuck here forever. At the rate we're going, at least."

"I'm almost ready to believe that we just need to let fate take it's course and let things unfold. Maybe there is a plan of some sort. Maybe we're meant to be here a while." She paused, "Of course, if that is the case, it makes no sense to cut ourselves off from the inhabitants."

"Jean," Scott said softly. "You understand the reasoning for avoidance."

"I do," she admitted, sighing. "I understand, but I just don't agree."

"I get the idea you've never been frustrated with the Professor like you are today."

"That is true, Scott. He's one of the last people in the world-in the galaxy, I guess-that I can imagine being mad at. Yet I am mad at him today." She smiled, "And what's worse is that he knows it; given our powers, there's no way he can not know it."

"I'm sure he also understands. And I bet part of him wants contact with the natives as much as you do. Sometimes people have differences of opinion and just can't agree. It happens, and I'm sure he understands." Scott lovingly stroked Jean's abdomen as he spoke. Aside from when it came to the group's current circumstances, he had been very contented lately. Watching the signs of his wife's pregnancy progressing were a large part of that.

"You're not as eager to learn about the people as I am," Jean said.

Scott nodded, "True. I mean, I would like to learn about them though, but a decision has been made and we must abide by it." He paused, "Though I really am fascinated by what you say. We probably could learn a lot from them. And if all people in this area live as they do, we surely have nothing to fear."

"That's good news if we are really going to be stranded here for a while."

"I think we could get used to it," Scott said.

"To what?"

"Being here for a while. Really. It's not so bad here. I just like the idea of a rest from wandering, a rest from fighting."

"Yes, I understand," Jean said. "I agree. We can raise our baby in peace."

"Maybe even have another one," Scott added. "Though I guess we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves."

"I would love to have two," Jean said. "My family was always my parents, my sister and myself. Two was a good number of children for my parents to have. My sister has two and she says that is the perfect number of kids to have too. Not too many, not too few. I would like to have two kids as well." They had discussed this before, but not recently. "What do you think?"

"Two sounds like a good number to me. God willing, I would love to have two. I defer to your judgement on family matters," Scott added, smiling. "Since you grew up with one."

Scott's lighthearted tone could not, of course, hide his feelings from the one who knew his mind best. Jean placed her hands over Scott's and gently squeezed them. "You're going to make a wonderful father," she said. "A loving and gentle father."

"You'll tell me if I'm being too strict or doing something wrong," Scott said, with a slight questioning tone.

"Trust your instincts and you won't be too strict. But of course I will tell you if I disagree with something you're doing. I know you'll be a good Dad though."

"It's hard for me to think my instincts are going to be any good, when I grew up in an orphanage." As Scott said those words, Jean felt a jolt of sadness from her husband. He spoke without self-pity, but she knew the pain of growing up without a family could never be fully erased from his psyche. She felt hurt just thinking of him moving through childhood and adolescence without a family to celebrate holidays with, sharing a room with a bunch of other children that no one wanted. Being taunted when his powers manifested themselves, and having no one to turn to until the Professor found him.

"I think you can trust your instincts," Jean said. "If you ever do get stuck, just ask yourself what the Professor would do." She might be displeased with him that day but she still loved Xavier as a second father.

Scott smiled. "You're right. It's so nice to see this side of him. I think he is as happy about the baby as we are."

"He would've made a wonderful father himself. Well, I guess he is a father to all of us, in everything but biology," Jean said. She added, "Of course biology isn't as important as love. And I have no doubt that he loves all of us."

Jean then suppressed a yawn. "It's been a long day. I'm ready for bed."

"Me too," Scott said. He noted that Jean's habit of taking a bath every evening was now gone. She now restrained herself to a morning shower, and her skin was accordingly less dry than it had been when she'd bathed twice a day.

They settled into a comfortable sleeping position. Scott's glasses required that he sleep on his back. Jean now slept on her side because of her pregnancy. She faced Scott, snuggling as close to him as her swelling abdomen allowed.

* * *

The next morning, those X-men who ate breakfast together decided it might be best to remain inside the ship that day.

Rogue and Gambit had missed breakfast-as they usually did-and wanted to take a walk together outside. The Professor okayed this, reminding them to avoid contact with anyone they might encounter. They promised to do as he said.

Just a few minutes after they departed the ship, the couple returned. "Look what we found!" Rogue said.

Apparently, someone had left a few objects next to the ship. Rogue handed them to the Professor, and the team gathered around to have a look. The objects were all baby supplies. There was a wooden rattle and a cloth doll. Three baby outfits were there, including one that looked particularly snug and cozy, perfect for winter. The final item was a baby carrier akin to something Jubilee had seen in a museum of Native American artifacts-a board that could be strapped to someone's back with a pouch for the baby to be placed in. It was an ironic gift, given the carrier Jubilee had received at her shower days before.

"This is so sweet," Jubilee said. "How nice of them."

"The craftsmanship on all of these is excellent," Beast marveled. He looked at Jubilee and then at Jean. "May I study these? If you don't mind.." He then looked at the Professor. "After our work on engineering today, of course."

As touched as many of the group were, they knew there was little they could do to return the favor. Gambit and Rogue cancelled their plans for an outside walk. Many of the X-men eyed the monitors that allowed them to see goings on outdoors.

Around mid-day, a group of 9 natives approached the ship. Three of them were in the group that had the exchange with the X-men the previous day. The people looked at the ship, touched it with their hands, even gently knocked on it. They talked among themselves, using very animated tones. They called out a few times.

"They're just curious," Jean said, reading their thoughts. "They have no intention to harm us. They are also excited."

The Professor nodded. "I sense the same thing. I also do sense their curiosity at our unwillingness to come out and talk. It truly puzzles them."

After perhaps an hour or two, the natives left the area, discouraged and disappointed. "Dey want us to come out an play, but we not going to," Gambit summed up.

The next morning, the X-men found a basket next to their ship. The basket was woven from some sort of wood. It contained apples, nuts and dried beans. Beast took the basket inside the ship.

Again, the X-men remained indoors and avoided contact with the people. Another group of natives, smaller than the one yesterday but containing some of the same people, approached the ship. Again they looked at it, touched it, and discussed it with each other. Again, they left after a few hours.

Beast studied the basket. Again, the craftsmanship was very solid. After determining the food to be safe, the group decided to eat it. No harm in accepting a gift, and rejecting it might appear rude. And if the food was safe to eat, why not use it? The apples and nuts were particularly delicious. "The real stuff really is better than the replicated stuff," Jubilee said, munching on an apple. "It's been so long that I forgot!"

* * *

These were strange days for all of us. We were always feeling like we were on the brink of something big or it was the calm before the storm. So much was going on and yet nothing was going on.

Jubilee was due any day now, and we all waited for her to go into labor. Hank, Storm and Rogue were going to be the main team helping with the delivery. Jean and I agreed to stand by as assistant nurses in case we were needed. They reviewed their roles with Jubilee over and over again, though nothing happened. Hank just reminded us that the due date was only an estimation, and the baby could arrive sooner or later.

And then there were the natives. We were all so curious; we wanted so badly to communicate with them. The decision to not make contact with them was understood by all, grudgingly accepted by some but still we were all fascinated and wanted to learn about them. So close and yet so far.

We stayed indoors all day, which really got to be frustrating. It's like when you're a kid and you're watching from your bedroom window as all the bigger kids get to play outside in the evening, when you have to go to bed early. At least the engineering team had something to occupy their minds. Poor Hank though. I know he wanted to spend all day communicating with the natives, or at least studying their gifts, as well as doing more to prepare for the birth of Jubilee's baby. Still, he was dedicated and hardworking; he didn't shirk his duty on the team at all.

One afternoon, I decided I had to do something to relieve the boredom, and I couldn't stomach another card game or another work-out session. Nor did I have any desire to use our swimming pool, and sitting in with the engineering team was the last thing I wanted to do. I asked for and received permission to turn on the life support for two hours to other parts of the ship.

"What are you gonna do, Bobby?" Rogue asked.

"I want to search for a painting or some kind of wall covering to hang up in here," I explained. We were in the rec room. "I'm not too optimistic about finding anything suitable. But you never know. Wanna join me?"

"No thanks, sugar. It's a nice idea though. These walls need somethin' to decorate them. But I doubt you're gonna find anything good on this ship."

I shrugged. "It's worth a try, at least."

It felt a little strange to walk down the abandoned halls of the areas of the ship we never used. The rooms that we slept in were auxiliary rooms; they had been unused by the crew. I decided to investigate the quarters that had been used by the deceased crew members. The rooms were quite spartan. Occasionally I saw an item that I took a second look at- a pair of eye glasses, a magazine, a letter. But I didn't want to linger in their rooms. Traumatic memories kept threatening to resurface. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was safe. There was nothing to fear. I had my communicator on.

Room after room had no paintings or other such wall coverings. Of course not; this was a ship of soldiers on a mission of war. You could be fairly certain they disdained art. Everything on the ship was utilitarian, and nothing decorative.

I passed the cell that we had been held prisoner in. I walked faster, understanding why no one ever wanted to explore the rest of the ship. We'd never be totally rid of these memories. I then passed the room that the soldiers had planned to torture me in. I sped up the pace of my walking. Maybe I should not have done this alone. I glanced down the long hall. It was just an elevator ride and trip down a hall to get back to my friends. I would be alright.

I came to a room that I hadn't seen before, and glanced at the map of the ship's layout I held in my hands. This room was labeled "Captain's quarters." Oh yes. The blond guy with the mustache. As the door to his room slide aside, I reminded myself that he could do nothing to hurt us anymore. Rogue had seen to that.

The room was about four times the size of the quarters we slept in. My eyes first settled on the two wall decorations. One wall had a large poster of the exterior of this ship. Hmmm. It was a definite possibility, a lovely shot of the ship against the stars. Another wall had a poster which had the word MUTANT with the universal "no" slash through it. Lovely. Very imaginative too.

I don't know why, but I remained in his room to snoop. All I can say is that curiosity and boredom got the best of me. There were two pictures on the FOH leader's nightstand of himself with a woman, a young boy and young girl. His arm was around the woman, the children resembled them, and all four were smiling happily. The boy, who couldn't have been older than 10, wore a FOH uniform. I wonder if the guy's wife and kids knew the kind of things he was up to on these missions.

I looked through his closets, finding nothing much other than copies of his uniform and boots. His wardrobe was fairly limited. A gun rack in the corner of the room held different types of rifles.

A file cabinet stood against a wall, and I found stacks and stacks of the FOH newsletter inside. I guess it was some sort of morbid fascination that drew me towards it. Why do our minds do things like this to us? I remembered that during our captivity, he had given us back issues to read. I was drawn to read through some more.

When I first picked up a newsletter and flipped through it, I had to fight back the nausea and despair of those days we spent held captive in the cell. Once I got a hold of myself, though, I read through several of these newsletters.

It was the same old shit. Editorial after editorial (actually, they were more like "rants" than "editorials") describing attacks by mutants and how we needed to be suppressed. Some of these attacks were based on factual incidents, usually committed by the Sabertooths and Magnetos of the world. Some of them were completely fabricated, as they attributed things to the X-men that we would never do.

The newsletters also contained tips for convincing acquaintances that mutants were a real threat and needed to be squelched. They contained guidelines for forming a FOH chapter and making it active. Specifications for dealing with the media were included.

And then there were the porn sections. Again the morbid curiosity drew me to read them though I knew I shouldn't. In story after story, mutant women were uniformly portrayed as depraved nymphomaniacs, never getting enough sex. There were horrific, graphic descriptions of what various men then did to them. While the depiction of mutant women was uniform, mutant men on the other hand were characterized in a lot of different ways. One predominant theme was to depict them as animals-completely out of control, rampaging. In the FOH stories, they often rape mutant women (hmmm…I think FOH is doing a little projecting here.) Less often but still prevalent, you would see mutant men portrayed as bumbling idiots and dolts. In these lovely stories, mutant females are bored with them in bed so they go out and get raped by FOH members-and of course they end up enjoying it. And every now and then, you see stories depicting mutant men as effeminate, sissified, and gay. (What's up with this? Northstar and I are like the only 2 gay mutants I've ever heard of.) And, once again, the slutty mutant females go seek out "real" men (FOH soldiers, of course.) Ick. I wonder if maybe I should burn these newsletters.

I was disgusted with myself afterwards. I shouldn't have been reading this crap. I closed the newsletters and headed right back to the part of the ship we used.

"Find anything?" Rogue asked me, when I'd returned to the rec room.

"No," I said, not meeting her eyes. "Just a bunch of bad memories."

* * *

The next day, the natives left us no gifts. However the day after that, we were serenaded! A group of 11 natives stood outside the ship around lunchtime playing musical instruments. They had drums, numerous string instruments, bells, something resembling a harp and something that sure sounded like a flute. They played for quite some time. The music was lively and danceable. It had a steady beat and it sounded primal….yet at the same time, charming and light. We stared at the monitors with the sound turned up, exchanging looks with each other. I think we were speechless. "Their intent is still good," the Professor murmured. A few of us tapped our feet as the music played.

They left after a few songs. I must say that their performance was quite magical. I wanted to get out there and dance. But soon after the people left, we all disbursed and went back to our work. There was nothing left to say to each other; we knew we could not contact them. I reminded myself that the reasons for avoiding them were reasonable and this was all for the best. But part of me really, really wanted to get out there and make contact with them.

Their music sparked something else in me. I missed music and dance. * Entertainment.* We hadn't had any since we began our journey. I was never a big TV watcher, but I loved musicals, dances, and theater. Watching the natives play their music was almost like getting some entertainment and I think that's why we all sat transfixed in front of the monitors. I would need to look into the possibilities of replicating some CDs or videos.

The next two days we had no more serenades from the natives and no gifts were left either. However, Jubilee went into labor on the afternoon of that second day. She told Hank and Storm when her water broke before dinner. During dinner I think we all sat on the edge of our seats, sneaking looks at Jubilee. Hank told the group that labor usually starts a few hours after the waters break, and that labors for first pregnancies can go on for quite some time. "This could be a long night for me," Jubilee summarized. From all her meetings with Hank and the others, she knew all the different things she might expect.

After dinner, Hank examined Jubilee. (I noticed that prior to dinner, Hank had clipped all of his nails.) Apparently everything was basically as it was supposed to be. Jubilee and various others (including myself) took several walks around the ship that evening. She seemed a bit nervous but ok. She said her contractions all evening were far apart and not at all regular-but she said that was normal during the early stages of labor and for first pregnancies. Later, she and Hank decided that she should try to go to sleep as normal. Jean offered to spend the night with Jubilee, saying that Hank and the others should get their rest. (I was also about to offer to spend the night with Jubilee but once Jean said she wanted to, I thought it made sense for her to have another woman there instead of me.)

I got up hours earlier than I usually do and headed right for the infirmary. Wolverine, Cyclops and Storm were in there drinking coffee. "Do we have a baby yet?" I asked as soon as I entered the room.

"No," Storm said. "Jubilee and Hank are taking a walk now." When the two returned, they kindly asked the rest of us to clear sick bay. Jubilee told everyone that she appreciated their support but she preferred to have not too many people in the room.

So basically we all hung out in the rec room that morning. Hank and Storm attended to Jubilee, with one of them occasionally sticking their head in for updates. In between contractions, Jubilee herself visited us a couple of times to let us know that she was fine and getting impatient for the baby to arrive.

"Y'all just let me know when you need me," Rogue said to Storm after Storm stopped in one time to let us know that nothing had changed. "I'm eager to do my job like we talked `bout."

"We will let you know as soon as the time is right, Rogue. Your role will be very much appreciated," Storm said, before returning to the infirmary.

Colossus asked Rogue, "What is your role?"

"Well, Peter," Rogue said, "When Jubilee gets to the final stage of labor, I'm going to help hold her up. She's gonna be in this squatting position when she gives birth, and since I'm so strong I'm gonna be the one to support her like so. I won't get tired, either."

Jean added, "I did offer to help relieve Rogue if she ever does get tired."

After a couple more hours or so, Storm came by to let Rogue know that she was needed. It was time for Jubilee to push. Rogue followed her out of the room.

The morning passed slowly. We half-heartedly played cards, the whole time waiting for the slightest piece of news from sick bay. Jubilee had never discussed what she wanted to name the baby, so we all talked about the names that we liked and such. Even though the morning progressed slowly, it was cool to observe everyone. Scott, Jean and the Professor all looked excited. Wolverine's face was hard to read. He looked concerned, maybe a bit worried.

"I really wish I could be in there," Jean said, mainly to Scott but we all could hear.

"Honey, you know it's Jubilee's pregnancy and birth, and she's the one who decides who should be in there with her," Scott said. "She probably doesn't want it to feel like Grand Central Station in there, so she can just concentrate on her job."

"I know," Jean said. "But I'd love to be in there and see first hand what it's like."

More time passed. Gambit visibly looked at his watch and shot a questioning look in the direction of the Professor. "Hank did say this could take a long time," the Professor said. "But I wonder how they are doing." I didn't need to look at the time; I knew from the rumblings in my stomach that lunchtime was approaching. The Professor added, "I am going to mentally ask Hank for an update." He shut his eyes, and after a short while reported back, "No change. It just is a long labor. Hank reminded me that is common for first pregnancies. He said Jubilee is tired but doing…alright."

His voice sounded calm and professional so I didn't worry. "How `alright' is she?" Wolverine asked.

"Logan, please do not worry. If there were something wrong, Hank would have said so. He simply said she is getting tired."

"She didn't sleep much last night," Jean said. "Who could blame her? Boy I wish I could be in there."

"We just need to trust that Hank, Storm and Rogue are a good support team. Hank is a wonderful doctor," the Professor said.

I didn't know if I was being paranoid or not, but he did sound just a bit as if he was trying to convince himself. We all then turned back to our cards and tried to get interested in the game, but even Gambit didn't seem into it. I noticed several people were checking their watches every few minutes.

After some more time had passed, a weary Storm entered the room. A split second before the door slide aside, both the Professor and Jean gasped and looked at each other.

"What?" Wolverine asked, just as the door opened and Storm entered.

"We have one healthy baby girl!" Storm reported. Storm looked fatigued and relieved. "A tiny little girl, 5lbs, 3 ounces."

"How's Jubilee?" Wolverine asked.

"She's exhausted. It was not an easy birth. But she's fine. Come on. She wants you all to see her daughter."

We scrambled out of our seats and down the hall, following Storm to the infirmary. I felt like pushing and shoving my way up front because I was so eager, but that would not have been polite. We gathered around Jubilee, who was laying down on the bed with a red, screaming infant cradled in her arms.

I'd almost never seen Jubilee looking so worn out. I glanced at Hank and he, too, looked exhausted. (Rogue looked pretty tired too.) But I knew Hank had to be glad-healthy mom, healthy baby and he obviously didn't need to do a C-section. It had to be considered a wonderful success.

"Congratulations, Jubilee," the Professor said. We each took our turns congratulating, hugging and kissing her. Jubilee limply returned our embraces. She was really drained.

"Thank you," Jubilee said quietly. "That was harder than I thought it would be." She didn't elaborate any further at that time.

"And congratulations to Hank," I said. "And Storm."

"I couldn't have done it without those two," Jubilee said. "Those two, and Rogue. Thank you all."

We took our turns hugging and congratulating Jubilee's birth team too. I then got a good look at the baby. She had stopped screaming for the time being and, despite all the commotion in the room, seemed to have fallen asleep. She was one ugly infant! But I heard they all are ugly so I guess that's normal. She was tiny, squirmy and red, and had a shock of black, straight hair. Later on I would get a good look at her, and Jubilee would express delight that the child resembled herself. The girl had Asian features-she had her mom's eyes, nose and shape of the face. It was really a blessing-apparently the girl didn't resemble her sperm donor, whoever he was.

Jubilee was alert enough to tell us what she planned to name the baby. "I want to name her in honor of Storm," she said.

Storm's eyes widened; she was clearly surprised. Jubilee continued, "Storm has done so much for me….during the last 9 months. I don't think I would have made it without her." She looked at Storm. "You've been an aunt to me. Your patience and wisdom has helped guide me, and I am so lucky to have you in my life." I thought I might've seen a tear in one of Storm's eyes. She bent down and kissed Jubilee on the forehead.

"So anyway," Jubilee continued, "I've been thinking during the last few months what I want to name the baby. And we all know Storm's real name is Ororo, though we all usually call her Storm. My thought is to name the baby Aurora." She spelled it out so we could clearly hear the difference. "Aurora sounds like `Ororo' but is not an exact copy, so it won't be confusing. But it is close enough that we'll know her name is in honor of Storm."

She looked up at Storm, and Storm smiled. "What a lovely tribute. I am honored. Thank you, Jubilee."

"What a beautiful name," the Professor mused. "There are many legends about the Aurora Borealis. They are said to be messages from other worlds. They are also said to be the spirits of fallen warriors."

"Are you going to give her a middle name?" Jean asked.

"Well, I'm thinking no," Jubilee answered, "because I don't have one myself and it's not like it's something you ever use. I think Aurora Lee is a good name by itself."

I nodded, "I agree. A simple name, but beautiful and clear. Aurora Lee. I love it."

So that's how Aurora Lee was born. Jubilee asked us to clear out and give her some time to sleep. Hank and Storm looked like they could use some rest too, so the rest of us volunteered for Uncle and Auntie duty so that Jubilee could get her rest. Cyclops and Jean remained in sick bay with the baby.

* * *

Not long afterwards, I found myself in Hank's bedroom. He had called me on my communicator, sounding exhausted. "I need a favor from you, my friend," he had said. "Anything," I answered. So I found myself brushing out Hank's pelt of blue fur as he lay face down on the bed. I straddled him.

Brushing Hank was never easy. His fur really does get matted and tending to it is always a job that requires some elbow grease. He says it is slightly painful when the tangles are brushed out but it feels good too, and he knows it's necessary. I enjoy doing it too. I'm glad to.

"So how do you feel, Dr. McCoy?" I asked. I sensed he hadn't asked me here just to comb his coat, especially since it wasn't nearly as tangled as it usually is when it gets to the point that he asks me for help with it. "You look wiped out."

"Bobby, that was one of the scariest moments of my life," he said.

"Really?"

"There were times when I feared we'd lose Jubilee or the baby….or both. I never was sure what to do. My gut told me she didn't need a C-section, though there was a point when I seriously regretted not performing one." He paused. "I could tell that Jubilee and Storm were scared too. I tried to mask my fear as much as possible. I think I'm exhausted from trying so hard to maintain the calm exterior."

"Well, it all turned out just fine! Right? I mean, you did it!" I kept my voice cheerful as I ran the comb through the fur on Hank's shoulders and neck. "And you can relax here and now."

"The four of us did it. Right now, I almost can't believe it. I would never have forgiven myself if we'd lost Jubilee….As a doctor, it is not good to think this way but I almost cannot help it, Bobby."

"Wow, Hank I've never seen you so frazzled over something."

"You should have seen me in the infirmary this morning. I cannot recall the last time I * felt* so frazzled."

"Do you feel more confident now, though? I mean, everything turned out fine. I'm sure Jean's will go well too."

"Oh, I don't even want to think about that now, my friend." He sighed. "That feels nice," he added, as I moved the comb to the backs of his arms. I continued to brush Hank out and stopped when he was sound asleep. He needed the rest so I left his room as quietly as possible.

I then headed for the infirmary to peek in on Jubilee and Aurora. Jubilee was sound asleep on the bed. The Professor sat in there, apparently keeping an eye on her.

I surmised that Cyclops and Jean had taken the baby out of the room, and I found the couple in the rec room. Cyke was holding the sleeping infant. He sat on the sofa, Jean next to him. Wolverine and Colossus were in the room too. As soon as I entered, Jean looked at me and put her finger to her lips, signaling for me to not wake the baby.

We spoke in whispers only. I had to ask, "So….what has the baby done these past few hours?"

Jean smiled, "Sleep, poop and cry. And eat. We had to wake Jubilee a little while ago to feed Aurora. As soon as she was done, Jubilee went right back to sleep."

"The kid is really exhausted," Wolverine said. I noticed him gazing at the baby…..was the look on his face affection? (I mean, I assume the affection was for the baby and not Cyclops.)

"Storm said it was very difficult birth," Colossus said. "We very lucky that Jubilee and baby are both alright."

I nodded, "Hank told me the same thing. He's wiped out too. But thank goodness everything turned out ok."

I slowly walked towards the sofa where Scott held the sleeping infant. Jean whispered to me, "You have to feel how soft she is. Her little hands and feet are just so smooth." I looked down at Aurora. You know, she didn't look as ugly as she did a few hours ago. I felt my heart warm to her.

"Scott, why not let Bobby have a turn holding her?" Jean suggested.

"Oooh, I'd love to," I said. Scott made room for me next to him on the sofa, and he slowly handed the infant over to me.

I held Aurora as if she were a piece of fine china. It made me a bit nervous to cradle the tiny bundle in my arms, but once I felt comfortable, I began cooing and making baby talk. I told the baby how precious she was and that I was her Uncle Bobby and that I loved her and that she was a cutie-pie, on and on. I have a little baby talk voice that I've used on friends' pets and it always provokes a few smiles.

I looked up and saw Colossus and Wolverine exchange a grin over my cooing. "She's adorable," I said. "I want one of my own!"

The others giggled. Actually, I didn't really want one of my own. But Aurora was adorable. And I went back to my cooing.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The weeks continued to pass for the X-men. As always, the engineering team devoted themselves to their work, though progress was made at a snail's pace.

One afternoon, several members of the team sat in the rec room.

"I miss TV," Rogue admitted. A few of her teammates looked at her. "Well, I'm gettin' damn bored! Uh-no offense to anyone's company," she hastily added.

"I wish making CDs was practical," Iceman said wistfully. He had looked into the possibility of replicating CDs, but to do so would require inordinate amounts of dilithium. It couldn't be justified. However, Iceman, Rogue and Gambit had searched the ship one day and uncovered a CD player and several CDs from various crew quarters.

Unfortunately, the majority of the CDs they discovered were not to the liking of most X-men. "Dreadful," Bobby had summarized. "I guess we shouldn't be surprised that those suckers had such lousy taste," Rogue added. A few of the CDs, however, were not half bad and were frequently played in the rec room.

Jubilee held Aurora, who was dressed in one of the cozy outfits woven and given by the planet's inhabitants. Aurora slowly nursed at her mother's breast. "Hey, guess what?" she said. "After the engineering team is done with their work today, Beast is going to take a blood test on Aurora. We'll be able to find out if she's a mutant or not!"

"Oh, wow," Jean said. "You must be excited."

"I am like all nervous," Jubilee said. "And I don't know why! I think I want her to be a mutant, and I'll be disappointed if she's not. But I know that's stupid. I love her just the same either way, but I really *want* her to be a mutant. I just dunno." Aurora continued to take her time nursing, oblivious to her mom's turmoil. "How do you and Scott feel about that, with your baby?"

Jean smiled. "We just assume the baby will be a mutant."

"So how would you feel if he or she wasn't a mutant?"

"I-I guess I'd be shocked," Jean said. She honestly had not even entertained that possibility. "But I guess we would try to see the positive side too. I mean, if we have a healthy baby, that's all any parents can hope for. And when—or if-we return to earth, she will have it a bit easier, not being a mutant."

"I guess you're right," Jubilee admitted. She tried to let Jean's words sink in, though at the same time she really wanted her daughter to be a mutant. She looked down at Aurora. "Wow, she takes her time nursing! I didn't think nursing would take so long." She switched her to the other breast. Rory immediately took to it and nursed with more gusto than she had before.

By the time the group had assembled around the table in sick bay for dinner, the result of the test on Aurora had been shared with Jubilee. The X-men eagerly looked at Jubilee.

"I gotta say one thing first," Jubilee began. "I really wanna totally thank all of you again. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for your help with babysitting. You guys are all so wonderful." Jubilee was extremely grateful for her fellow X-men. Whenever she needed to take a nap or just get away from the baby for a bit, someone was always willing to look after Rory.

"But now," Jubilee continued, "as for the results of the test...Aurora *is* a mutant!" she exclaimed. Cheers were exchanged around the table. The subject of their happiness slept in a cradle aside the table, completely oblivious to the reason for the rejoicing.

"I do think that's wonderful," the Professor said. "We will train her to use her powers and control them."

"Whatever those powers may be," Storm added. "We don't know for sure that Aurora will inherit Jubilee's powers. Maybe she will have different gifts." Storm smiled at Jubilee, "You know we would have accepted Rory just the same whether she was a mutant or not."

Scott nodded, "She's right. There have always been non-mutants who were part of our family, such as Moira MacTaggert."

A question popped into Iceman's head. "Forgive my ignorance," he began, looking in the direction of the Professor. "I know who Moira is, of course. But….well, do we know where she was at the time we left earth?" He desperately hoped he was not committing a major faux pas by asking, but he had not recalled anyone mentioning anything about the whereabouts of Moira since he'd rejoined the X-men. He knew, from his first stint with the X-men, that Moira was the brilliant non-mutant scientist who ran her own research facility on Muir Island. He knew that Moira and the Professor had been romantically involved decades ago, but for whatever reason had ended their relationship and remained in contact as friends only.

"We're not sure, Bobby," the Professor said softly. "Moira and her husband-you remember that she married a mutant called Banshee, right?-were experiencing quite a bit of harassment. The climate on Muir Island, when it came to mutants, was only marginally better than it had been in the United States. Moira dedicated her life to researching mutants and trying to find ways for us to live peacefully with non-mutants. That attitude was not in favor on Muir Island any more than it was in America. Moira also has a son and step-daughter who are mutants, in addition to her husband. So they all were experiencing a fair amount of….persecution.

"We spoke about the possibility of Moira, Banshee, Siryn and Proteus coming to live with the X-men," the Professor continued. "My last conversation with Moira was perhaps two weeks before we were kidnapped. She had said that she and her family now agreed that coming to live with us would be beneficial. They were making plans to tie up their affairs and move to New York. Then we were captured. So I do not know what has become of her."

Iceman looked down at his plate. "I hope, um, you're not mad at me for bringing this up."

"Not at all, Bobby. I do often wonder how she and her family are faring."

"Well Moira and Banshee are very strong and resourceful," Scott said. "And so are their children. Proteus is one of the most powerful mutants there is. I'm sure they're fine."

The Professor nodded, and was content to leave it at that. He preferred not to dwell on the subject of mutants on earth. None of the team did. A few of the optimists in the group held onto hope that life for mutants on earth was getting better, but few truly believed that.

* * *

Jean Grey was one of the optimists. Despite her naturally upbeat personality, though, she wondered day in and day out how her own family was faring. Her mind flashed back to one of the last times they were all together. The occasion had been her parents' 35th anniversary. Jean's parents, John and Elaine, had made dinner reservations at their favorite restaurant, Braxton's. Jean's sister and brother-in-law, Sara and Tom, were to join them with their own children, Gail and Joey. Jean and Scott met the group at Jean's parents' house. Hugs and kisses were exchanged all around, and the group had merrily piled into Sara and Tom's minivan to head for Braxton's.

The restaurant had had a NO MUTANTS sign displayed prominently in its window.

Elaine gasped. "I had no idea…..We haven't been here for over a year and this sign wasn't here before….I can't believe it."

Sara defiantly said, "Let's go in anyway. I mean, Braxton's is not going to perform a genetic test on you guys. How will they know?" Another family passed by the Greys, noting their hesitation and conflict over the sign. Tom craned his head around, worried over what they might be thinking. "What's wrong?" Joey asked his parents, too young to really be able to size up the situation.

Jean exchanged thoughts with Scott. /We should not be ashamed. We have nothing to be ashamed about. It's not our fault./

/But I am sensing that you do feel shame, Jean. And I feel that, but I'm mostly damn angry./ Scott thought.

/I am too./ Jean turned to her parents. Sara was still trying to convince the group to just ignore the sign. "Let's not try to go in," Jean said softly. "It could get ugly."

John put his arm around his wife. "What about that Italian restaurant you love? It's not far from here."

Elaine nodded. "Yes; that's a great idea."

"You mean Clara's?" Tom asked. "We'll never get in there on a Saturday night without a reservation."

Jean didn't need her powers to pick up Tom's thoughts. He was annoyed, and not at the restaurant for displaying the sign either. Sara narrowed her eyes at her husband, upset at his reaction.

But perhaps not too upset, Jean had thought to herself. Just months earlier, Sara had urged Jean that she and Scott should adopt when the time was right. "Sis, I know it's none of my business," Sara had said, "but you probably shouldn't bring more mutants into this world. You two ought to adopt instead." Jean had kept her mouth closed. Sara did not say more, but Jean felt her sister's worry. Sara was afraid that her own two children would be mutants.

The group piled back in the minivan. "I wanna eat at Braxton's!" Joey demanded. "Why can't we go there?" Gail looked at her younger brother, "Joey, be quiet," she hushed.

The group had reached Clara's. It didn't matter that there was a 50 minute wait for a party of eight. Clara's had a NO MUTANTS sign too.

The family eventually was welcomed into a tiny Indian restaurant that Sara recommended. Two tables were pushed together to accommodate the Grey family. Elaine could not control her feelings, and began to sob over her chicken curry.

"Mama," Jean said quietly, getting up. She knelt next to her mother and hugged her.

Elaine's tears flowed freely now. "Jeanie, I love you so much," she sobbed. "And I'm not crying because you're a mutant. It doesn't matter to me or make me love you any less. I'm crying because of all the prejudice you and Scott have to face." Other patrons of the restaurant discretely looked in their direction, curious as to what was happening.

Jean hugged her mother harder. "I love you too, Mom. We're going to be ok. Everything will be alright," she murmured, glad that her mother did not have the ability to read others' thoughts.

"Ground control to Jean," Rogue said. Jean was jolted from her thoughts.

"Huh?" Jean asked. "Oh, sorry," she said. She recalled that Rogue had just asked her to pass the potatoes. "I was just reminiscing about something," she explained. She passed the bowl to Rogue and once again was swept up in her thoughts. She wished desperately that her parents would be able to see their third grandchild. She suddenly felt that she was a long, long way from home.

When Jean returned to her room that evening, she wrote more poetry. She had always loved poetry and the last few weeks had been attempting to write some herself. She looked forward to sharing some of these verses with the others.

* * *

Rogue and Gambit were making love on the bridge. They hadn't intended for it to happen there, where anyone could walk in on them at any time. But they often spent their evenings kissing and cuddling together there, looking out at the view of the sea. Rogue even kept a collar stashed away in one of the compartments on the bridge, just in case she forgot to tote one along. This particular evening, their kisses had been more urgent than usual and neither felt like making the walk back to their room.

Both of them were still able to enjoy the view of the sea, though. Rogue stood, bent over one of the consoles, her palms resting on the surface. Her uniform was piled around her feet. Gambit had lovingly admired the view of her naked posterior, so round and smooth, before he slid his condom-clad length inside her warm wetness. Rogue groaned low. He grasped her hips from behind and pumped in and out. The view of her from this angle was delectable.

"Oh, Remy," Rogue murmured. Gambit craned his head forward and nibbled one of Rogue's ears. His tender ministrations beforehand had seen to her arousal. Now she just wanted him to keep up that divine movement of his hips. And his cock. Damn he used it well. It was so powerful, so strong, bringing them both such amazing sensations.

Gambit continued to plunge in and out of her womanhood, delighted at how her wet pink treasures grasped him, driving him insane with lust. He momentarily took his hands from her hips and brought them to her bosom. She hadn't removed her bra yet; they'd been so eager. He grasped her full, ripe breasts. They tumbled forth from the confines of her bra. Gambit squeezed and kneaded the flesh. "I know you like dat, chere," Gambit breathed as his hands worked. His hips moved more furiously against her.

Rogue thrust her hips back at him, oblivious to anything except their mutual pleasure. The entire team could have walked onto the bridge and she would not have cared. She groaned and grunted loudly as one of Gambit's hands reached her clit. His talented fingers rubbed against the erect nub, sending Rogue over the brink. She loudly cried out as the climax overtook her. Gambit had wanted to hold on longer, see how many times he could make her come tonight with him inside her. But his lust burst too, and the waves of ecstasy cascaded through his body.

They couple lay on the floor of the bridge together, panting. When they had rested enough, they made love again.

* * *

We held a ceremony to welcome Aurora into our family. Storm had gotten on the computer to look up ideas for rituals, though trying to come up with one that would please everyone would be an impossible task, given that we are a mixture of different religions and beliefs. Finally, Storm settled on asking Jubilee what she would like. Jubilee said she was now an agnostic with pagan leanings, and Storm used that as a guide when preparing the ceremony.

"Hmmmm," I heard Storm say as she sat at the computer. "This one ceremony calls for the new mom to stand in a circle, with all the other mothers surrounding her."

"We ain't gonna have much luck with that, since she's the only mother," Rogue said.

"And then," Storm continued, her eyes on the computer, "all the grandmothers are to form another, outer circle."

"Well, if there ain't any mothers here, there probably ain't any grandmothers, either," Rogue added.

We eventually settled on having all of us stand in a circle, with Jubilee in the middle, holding the baby. The ceremony was relatively short and simple, but moving. We lit some candles and Storm recited a few blessings. I don't remember all of what she said, but her words were to the effect that as a community, we have a responsibility to create a safe space for Aurora and for teaching her how to use her gifts and on and on. Some of us offered ideas on how to go about creating and maintaining that community. Jubilee thanked us all, Storm asked for a blessing from "the Goddesses, the Gods, the Universal Spirit or whatever else we all might believe in" and that was it.

* * *

The winter passed slowly. It still was too cold to go out for more than a few minutes at a time, except for Wolverine. Many lazy days were spent in the rec room, with everyone fawning over Aurora. The engineering team made marginal progress. They told us one evening at dinner that they now knew they had the tools they needed to repair the engines on board the ship. Successfully repairing them would be another issue though. The four spent many hours in the engineering room, working away. They always reminded us, though, not to get too optimistic. "It still could be months before we fix them properly," the Professor said. And the team worked very slowly, mindful of not making a mistake, lest we end up worse off than before.

Hank once told me that he was learning more about engineering than he had ever wanted to.

When Aurora was about 8 to 10 weeks old (and successfully gaining weight, which was important since her birth weight was low), the weather started to warm up. Snow and ice outdoors melted. The temperature climbed back up to the 30's and 40's, as the sun was now more prominent. You could go outside without your nose and fingers turning numb in minutes, though the sea still blew cold wind on us.

The Professor was not about to forbid us from leaving the ship. He was as sick of being cooped up as we all were, and he simply reminded us to try to avoid contact with the natives. We went back to taking long walks outdoors, in groups of at least two, the Professor included. Jubilee would bundle the baby up and walk with us. She often used the carrier that the natives had made for her.

A few times I was out with Wolverine, and he would sniff the air. "They're not far," he told us. "They're watching us from the forest," he would say. Yet for whatever reason, they did not approach. Part of me almost wished they would. We knew they were friendly people, and it sure would break up the monotony of the days if they'd pay us visits again. Maybe they'd even play music for us again!

Jean was due in just a couple weeks now. She was as glad as the rest of us to be able to experience the outdoors and breathe fresh air. She seemed very centered and content in her pregnancy. She and Scott spent much time cuddled up in the rec room together, talking softly with each other.

* * *

One day Jean, Scott, Hank, and Storm hastily returned to the ship from a walk. "Professor!" Jean called out, as she hurried into the rec room.

"I know," the Professor said calmly, looking intently at one of the monitors.

"What do we do?" Jean asked.

"Do you mind lettin' the rest of us in on this?" Wolverine asked.

The Professor turned to face the group. "Let me first call everyone to meet in here," he said, as he moved his wheelchair towards the intercom. My heart started to pound. Clearly, this was going to be serious.

As Jubilee, Colossus and Gambit made their way to join all of the rest of us in the lounge, I glanced at the monitor. A large group of natives was rapidly approaching the ship. They gathered in front of it and stood there.

"What's going on?" Jubilee asked.

"We have a situation on our hands," the Professor said. He explained, "Jean and I are sensing their emotions now. Out of all the times we've had contact with them, they have never been so…. terrified."

"They're desperate," Jean said slowly. "And they have come here to beg us for our help."

"What do they need our help with?" Storm asked as.

"I can't tell," the Professor said. "It is very difficult to detect specifics. I just sense overwhelming fear and desperation. It is quite a shock, sensing this from them."

"Their minds had always been so peaceful and tranquil," Jean added. "They were such a happy people. This….sensing that they feel such terror is astonishing, to say the least."

We all exchanged looks with each other across the room. "So," Cyclops began, "what do we do?"

I looked at the Professor and, without being a mind-reader, sensed he was no longer as firm in his policy of avoidance as he once had been.

"Professor, I know you strongly believed that we should avoid contact with these people," Jean began, "but I must say that I feel we should help them. Or, I should say, we should find out what they want us to help with."

"It is very difficult to turn away from a plea for help," the Professor acknowledged.

Storm spoke, "What harm would it cause to just meet with them? They are already aware of our existence, and already had an exchange with four of our people, months ago. We can at least find out what they want."

"They might want something that would be very easy for us to provide," Cyclops said.

One by one, members of the team provided compelling arguments for meeting with the natives. It was pointed out that perhaps we had a purpose in being here. If they asked where we came from or for more information about us, we could be vague. The argument that continuing to ignore them might be an even greater disruption came up. I could sense the Professor's resolve fading away. Jean certainly must have sensed it, and she argued the most persuasively.

"Okay," the Professor finally said. "I fear that we might be making a mistake. But I acknowledge the logic in all of your arguments. Let us arrange to meet with them. At the very least, we can find out what they want. In the end, however, we may very well have to refuse to help."

It was decided that the Professor, Cyclops and Storm would head out there to see them and discuss the logistics of meeting with them. We prepared to monitor them from the bridge. "Stay on your toes," Wolverine warned.

"Do not worry," the Professor said. "These people are not capable of hurting us, even if they wanted to."

After only a few minutes, the Professor, Cyclops and Storm re-entered the ship. Everyone was so eager, they waited by the entrance ramp for an update. We stood around in the hall, discussing what had happened.

"I communicated telepathically with them, letting them know that we would listen to what they had to say and consider the possibility of helping them," the Professor said. "They were glad to hear that and they offered to host the meeting in their village. They are waiting to escort all of us there."

We all exchanged excited looks. Cyclops asked, "Professor, is it safe for all of us to go? I would recommend that at least a few of us stay back here on the ship."

The Professor nodded. "Although I am certain that they have no intent to harm us at all, it would be wise for some of us to remain here." The Professor's eyes surveyed the group. I noticed a lot of people avoiding his eyes or looking down. "Are there any volunteers?" he asked.

There were none. The Professor took a deep breath. "I hate to do this. I know that everyone is extremely curious and eager to meet the natives. But logic demands that at least a few of us remain here." He paused. "Rogue, Gambit and Jubilee, you will remain on this ship. We will take one of the ship's video cameras with us so you can monitor us." I had to admit that I was relieved he had not called my name. Hank looked downright thrilled.

Rogue's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure it's a good idea for Jean to go? Jean, aren't you due like any day now?"

"I'm not due for another 15 days," Jean answered. "And I am still capable of walking. Besides, I'll need to `translate' for everyone while the Professor 'talks' to the people telepathically."

The Professor said, "Your telepathic abilities will come in handy. And the natives were very warm and welcoming to Jubilee when she was pregnant. Not that I think that much matters; these people will not try to hurt us. Jean, the call is yours."

"I want to go," she said.

Cyclops looked at her. "Are you sure it's safe?" The two of them quarreled a bit. He didn't want her to go either. But she would not budge on her desire to join the group, and he had to relent.

"Professor," Hank began, "as you know I am very eager to go on this mission. I can hardly wait to see their village and interact with them. But….won't my appearance be unsettling to them?"

The Professor smiled, "I did tell them that one of our people has an unconventional appearance. I described it in detail but they were completely fine with it. In fact, they had a positive reaction. I think you'll be fine."

"Besides, we *all* look weird to them," Jean said, smiling.

The eight of us bid our farewells to Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee and Aurora. I followed the Professor, Storm, Jean, Cyclops, Colossus, Hank and Wolverine down the ramp, wondering what would be in store for us.

* * *

A group of about 25 natives stood outside the ship, waiting for us. They bowed and said a few words. "They are thanking us and welcoming us," Jean said. She translated for us as the Professor telepathically communicated with them. Several of the natives approached Jean and placed their hands on her belly, giving her the blessing as they had done before. They then spoke some more.

"They are telling us it will be about an hour's walk to their village, "Jean translated. "They are offering us water to drink."

The people passed a large canteen to us. Wolverine sniffed it first, and then pronounced the water safe to drink. Conversation during the walk was minimal. Jean told us, "These people are terrified. Not of us though. But they are scared….I think it is why they're not as talkative as they normally would be."

During our walk, however, we did thank them for the gifts they had left us. "They're happy that we're thanking them," Jean said. "They said they were glad to offer them."

We tested our communicators and cameras during the walk. "We can see and hear y'all loud and clear," Rogue said, over the communicator.

We walked deeper and deeper into the heart of the forest. I mused that perhaps I should be afraid. Surely the Bobby Drake of years' past would've been. We're on an alien planet, thousands of light years away from earth, being led into a forest by an alien people who are terrified of something yet unknown to us. But I was more fascinated than scared. I reminded myself it was a heck of a lot safer for a mutant here than on earth.

We reached a clearing and came upon the village. Several tents were set up, and dozens of people milled about. A few campfires were set up. Large animals resembling dogs roamed around and I caught the smell of something delicious cooking. As we walked to the center of the village, I noticed that most people resembled those we'd met months before. Their tribe did not seem to have the diversity of appearances that we did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw several children exchange excited glances with each other. "Goluba!" one of them exclaimed. Soon, they were all saying, "Goluba!" over and over again. I noticed they kept pointing at Hank.

Suddenly, Jean began laughing. "What is it?" Hank asked.

"The children are all excited," Jean said, through her laughter, "because you resemble a character in their mythology. Their myths, the stories they pass along to their children, include a big, friendly, furry….beast named Goluba. They think you look just like him and they're so happy to see you."

Hank smiled. The children rushed up to him and hugged him. They cuddled around his legs, crying out, "Goluba! Goluba!" The adult natives continued to talk, and Jean translated some more. "Oh, I see. Hank, you're almost their version of Santa Claus. Goluba apparently brings the children gifts several times a year. Each time the season changes, he distributes presents for the children. He also sings and tells them stories."

"No wonder they like him so much," I said.

Hank was taking it all quite good-naturedly. A few of the younger children held their arms up, wanting to be picked up. Hank asked Jean, "Find out if the adults would find it acceptable for me to hold them."

Jean communicated with the natives and then replied, "They say `sure'!" So Hank picked up a few of the children.

"When are you going to sing and tell stories?" I asked, grinning. Hank did not dignify that with a reply.

When we reached the central campfire, Hank set the children down. The children continued to mill around him and a few curled up in his lap. They're lucky that "Goluba" bears a resemblance to Hank and not to, say, Wolverine.

The natives asked us to sit around the campfire. About 20 men and women sat down with us, and they began by offering us food and drink.

Wolverine sniffed all the food suspiciously before allowing us to touch any of it, though the Professor and Jean assured us that they had no desire to hurt us. "I don't doubt either of you on this," Wolverine said, "but for all we know, their food is poisonous to us. Yeah, it ain't likely since we can breathe their air, but it is possible. Let me sample all the food first. If it is poison, I'll recover quickly."

So we let him test the food for us. They offered us something which Wolverine said tasted like venison, a variety of different types of nuts, dried fruits and a bean dish which was peppered with strong spices. Wolverine pronounced everything safe to ingest. I skipped the meat, but enjoyed the rest of the food. The nuts tasted just like walnuts and were quite good. The dried fruits tasted exactly like apples and peaches, and the bean dish was really delicious and very spicy.

They also presented us with a very bitter beverage to drink. "There's booze in here," Wolverine said. Jean requested water to drink, and I was glad she had. Whatever kind of booze it was, it was way too bitter for my taste buds. It was like *extreme* beer or something. Most of us drank water, though I noticed Wolverine and Colossus downing the bitter beverage. Both seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.

When we were settled and had begun our meeting, the natives began communicating with the Professor. It fascinated me that they did not seem to find our method of communicating odd. The Professor simply spoke into their minds and was able to discern their meanings though neither knew the others' language. Throughout the exchange, Jean translated for us (and for those back on the ship.)

We first began with introductions. The person with whom the Professor had most of his dialog was an elderly woman named Nurya. She was the leader of this tribe. I noticed that Nurya appeared to have no teeth, and her face was heavily lined. It was hard, though, to guess her, or any of the natives', age. The others who sat around the fire were identified as members of the council, who helped make decisions for the tribe. There appeared to be just about an even balance of men and women.

We briefly introduced ourselves, just by saying our names. The Professor introduced himself as our leader. I had really thought they would have tons of questions for us (like, where we're from, why we look so different from them, why we communicate by talking into their minds, etc.) but they asked none of these things. Once introductions were made, the Professor asked that we get to business and be told why we were brought here-and the natives were only too glad to get right to that as well.

"They are requesting our help," Jean said. She would give us a sentence or two as she "listened" in on the Professor's communication with Nurya. "….They say that a pack of demons have been attacking villages to the East of here…..They are having a lot of trouble describing what exactly has been happening because they have no experience with this. They're a peaceful people, and they have no weapons except those which they use for hunting…..For a long time, they had been hearing rumors about demons attacking, and they'd thought they were just rumors or stories…..Lately, though, refugees from the attacked villages have been pouring into other villages, closer to the East where the attacks are taking place…..The refugees are describing horrible things." Jean paused and swallowed. "These people can't understand it at all….Apparently the `demons' are coming into the villages, burning them, looting them, taking some of the people off with them and killing everyone else….There is no reasoning with the attackers, and they won't ever say what they want…..All they can tell is that they want to kill and burn the villages down and take some of the people—mostly the women-with them…..They are describing some really horrible things, like babies and children being killed….the attackers sometimes take them and impale them on a spear." Jean had to pause. She sounded horrified and put her hands on her belly. Scott put his arm around her. She regained her composure and continued, "Again, these people here are just totally stunned. They have no experience with war or….violence. They get along with all of their neighbors and this is astonishing to them.

"They say that they can tell we must have special gifts and would be able to help them make the demons go away," Jean continued. "That is why they have called us here."

"How far are we from the areas that are being attacked?" Cyclops asked.

The Professor relayed his question, and Jean translated. "They are having trouble answering because they don't have good measures for distance….They're saying it would take perhaps 40-60 days to walk to the areas under siege on foot….They do have ships and could sail to the areas under siege. They guess it would take maybe 20 days."

"What do they mean by `demons'?" Storm asked. "What else can they tell us about their attackers?"

Jean waited, listening for the reply. "They can tell us very little…The refugees who have been fleeing the attacked villages are extremely traumatized….They've seen their families killed. They have no experience with such violence and are so traumatized that they can't give much information."

Then a chilling thing happened. As the Professor continued translating, a few members of the council pointed at me. I was tempted to say, `I didn't do it!' but that was clearly not the time for humor, and I was freaked out at being singled out.

Jean said, "They are saying that out of everyone sitting around the circle, Bobby resembles the description of the attackers the most."

As I gulped and felt my face grow pale, someone asked in what way I resembled them. Looking at my teammates, out of the men I had the most narrow build, the fairest skin and the lightest hair. When Jean received the translation, she confirmed this. "They survivors of the attack described the attackers as having hair the color of Bobby's or lighter and skin around that shade." My hair is light brown. Jean added, "They're saying they only saw males among the attackers."

I think Jean noticed my discomfort and said, "Don't worry, Bobby. They know you weren't involved in the attacks. They're simply saying that out of all of us, you come closest to what the attackers looked like."

The Professor said, "I am going to ask them how certain they are that this is happening, and is not the rumor or story they originally thought it was."

Jean translated the reply. "Members of the council have traveled to the East and met with the refugees. That is why they sought our help now. A few members of the council just got back from their trip, and one of the men sitting around this fire with us is a refugee. He has seen everything with his own eyes."

"What specifically do they want us to do?" Cyclops asked.

"Whatever we can do to keep the `demons' away from their villages….Anything we can do to protect them…..They have no desire to harm the invaders; they just want to be left alone. They're willing to give up all their valuables if the invaders would just stop killing their people and abducting them….But any attempts to reason with or bargain with the invaders have been futile. They simply attack the villages and take everything they want, and kill anyone everyone who they don't abduct."

I noticed at this point the Professor looking very grim and as if he were experiencing some mental anguish. Jean translated for us, "The Professor is telling them that we will consider helping them but we need to discuss it with our entire tribe."

At this point, as Jean told us, the natives started to ask us a bit about ourselves and where we came from. The Professor was very evasive; simply saying that we came from far away. They asked how many members of our tribe there were, and was quite surprised when the answer was 12. "They're asking us why there are so few of us," Jean said. "The Professor again is being vague….They're telling us that with only 12 of us, our tribe is not likely to continue on for generations." Jean added, "I think it would be interesting if the Professor would tell them that we are also fleeing people who attacked us for no reason, kidnapped us and tried to kill us. But, for obvious reasons, he's not."

After the meeting around the campfire, our hosts asked us to stay for just a bit. The Professor looked uncomfortable with doing so but, for whatever reason, agreed. The natives played music for us, fed us more, and danced for us.

It was brilliant. Their music was invigorating and danceable. Somehow all the awful things that Jean had just relayed to the group were being erased from my memory, at least temporarily. The dancing performed by the natives was so…..joyous. Both men and women performed these amazing balletic leaps and graceful moves as the musicians played away. I was so tempted to get up and join them, but didn't.

I overheard Hank asking Jean to try to learn more about their culture. We learned so much. I am sure I don't remember it all but I saw Hank's mind working away, trying to remember every detail. They do not have a written language. They have no social inequities-things like housing and boats are all owned in common and no one goes hungry or homeless. Hank asked a number of questions trying to get at whether these people had any social stratification (i.e.—any groups of people treated as inferiors, due to their financial status, race, sex, etc.) They had none. He asked them about their artwork, commenting on the expert craftsmanship of the gifts they had given us. The natives were extremely proud of the quality of their crafts.

Cyclops asked Jean to find out what they typically spent their days doing. Jean smiled as she translated, "They said that they spend their days making music, dancing, working on crafts, painting, and making love." She then added, "As an afterthought, I am being told that they hunt, fish, garden, construct clothing and tents, raise their children, perform woodwork, and do all sorts of things that need to be done in order to keep the village running."

"Wow, they sound cool," I commented.

Hank asked about their religion. Basically, I would sum up their beliefs as pantheistic. They view nature as sacred, and consider all the things they love doing (making music, painting, making crafts, and-the one that seemed to be their favorite-making love) a tribute to what they hold sacred.

We asked how many villages there were that lived life as they did, and how many people this encompasses. They had trouble answering this, but guessed there were about 20 other such villages. They said they thought most were comparable in size to theirs, and they had amicable relations with these other tribes, trading with them "and making love with them during our festivals."

They also asked us many of these same questions. Again the Professor was elusive; he simply said that we preferred to not reveal too much about ourselves. He added that we needed to get back to the rest of our tribe soon.

Before we left, Nurya had an exchange with the Professor. Jean said, "She's asking him if we would like to….Oh boy. She's asking if any of us want to make love with any members of their tribe. The Professor is politely declining her offer. She's seriously confused about why we would say no….but she's not offended…..The Professor is telling her we will communicate with them in a few days, with our answer to their call for help against the `demons.'"

With that, we stood up. A handful of natives led us back to our ship. Conversation was nearly non-existent on the way back. A few times I glanced at the Professor's face. I didn't like what I saw there.

* * *

The 11 of us sat around the table in sick bay. Jubilee held the sleeping Aurora. Hank's face was afire with the knowledge he'd gained from our trip and was madly jotting notes down, trying to remember everything he'd learned. I'd never seen the Professor looking quite so grim.

"I have made a huge mistake," he began quietly. He shook his head. "I cannot believe I exercised such bad judgement, but I have." He dropped his face into his hands. "I made an extremely poor decision. I let boredom influence me." He paused and repeated, "Boredom, of all things."

Jean looked down. "You're saying we shouldn't help them," she said, softly but flatly.

"We have already meddled in their evolution far too much. Shame on us." He paused. "No, shame on *me.* I'm the leader and I made these horrible decisions."

Several looks were exchanged. We'd never seen the Professor so remorseful. But I think the looks people exchanged suggested something else too. I mean, no one else really looked regretful.

"Professor," Storm began, "will you consider the possibility that maybe helping them *is* the right thing to do?"

He looked at her. "How do you arrive at that, Storm?"

Storm's facial expression betrayed no loss of composure. I wonder what she was feeling, though. The Professor's tone had not been encouraging. "Well, Professor," she began, "these people have a remarkable civilization. I know that compared to much of what are considered great civilizations on earth, this one does not stand out. But they are peaceful, non-violent and socially completely equitable. Those are remarkable achievements, something that very few cultures on earth have been able to attain. If the reports of the attackers are accurate…..their culture will be destroyed, in favor of a warlike people."

"I do not disagree with you, Storm, that they have a wonderful culture. But how can we justify meddling in their history, their evolution? We could change the flow of events that were meant to occur. Our being here already has changed some of it."

Jean shrugged, "Well, once these invaders kill or enslave everyone, it won't much matter, will it?" Her tone left no question on where she stood. "Anyone with any memory of us will be gone."

Jubilee asked, "There is something I just don't get. Why are we so reluctant to interfere in the events on this planet? If we can do some good, then why not?"

The Professor answered her. "The harm lies in the fact that we do not know how life and history were meant to unfold for the inhabitants of this planet. Let me give an example." He paused. "I dislike the idea of violent invaders coming in and destroying all these innocent lives. But suppose for a moment that the invaders were to, over a period of time, turn non-violent and develop an amazing civilization. Perhaps they spawn several inventors and geniuses. Perhaps later, their planet suffers some sort of crisis. It is the genius that comes out of some of the members of this civilization that saves the planet. Now, if we meddle in their affairs today and prevent the attackers from doing any more harm, then perhaps these geniuses are never born or never develop their talents. Then we have radically altered, in a most negative way, the evolution of their planet."

"But Professor," Jean began, "that is all speculation. We don't know what will occur. And if I may bring up the other side, perhaps it is members of *this* civilization who are destined to do great things and save the planet. They already have a wonderful culture. If we let it be taken over by these….invaders, then this civilization and it's knowledge is lost."

"That is precisely my point, Jean. We *do not know* which is the better route to take. We do not know what will occur or what is truly in the best interests for the planet's inhabitants, and that is why non-intervention is the only way."

"But if we can prevent human suffering," Jubilee began, "I mean, these invaders sound terrible. If we can prevent them from killing or enslaving anyone else…."

"Jubilee, the bottom line is that we do not know which path will prevent suffering. What is transparent to us now might look differently centuries down the road. Perhaps in the long run, allowing history to run its course and allowing these invaders their way will bring the least amount of suffering."

"So do we just turn our backs on these people?" Colossus asked. "They ask us for our help. So we just have to say no, and understand that they might all die because of that?"

"We never should have met with them in the first place," the Professor said. "I made a grave error in allowing that. I apologize to all of you for the poor decision. I allowed emotion to influence me, and it must not happen again."

"Emotion is not a negative thing," Jean said.

The discussions continued. I don't even remember all of it since we had been through all of this before. We talked about the fact that no one knew what our purpose in being here was, but maybe we were here to help. Others said maybe we were not meant to be here at all. The Professor questioned potentially putting our lives at risk.

What was interesting about the discussions is that the Professor was generally the only one arguing for non-intervention. No one else seemed to agree with him. Hank, Cyclops, and Storm usually go with whatever his viewpoint is. That wasn't happening today.

"I got an idea," Rogue said. "What if Storm and I were to do some reconnaissance? She and I can fly East and take a look at what all is happening over there? At least we can get more information. If we fly high enough above, no one will notice us."

"I could create some mist that we can hide behind. Or perhaps hide us behind the glare of the sun," Storm said.

The Professor sighed. "I don't know if that is necessary. One of the refugees was sitting around the circle with us. I read his mind and his memories. Everything Nurya and the others told us is true." He paused, "In fact Nurya spared us some of the details. The memories of the attacks in this survivor's mind were….extremely gory and brutal."

"If we see it for ourselves, it might make us more determined to help these people," Rogue said. She said it flatly and didn't make it sound like an attack on the Professor's viewpoint. She just said it as a fact.

"Yes," the Professor said softly. He took a breath. "I cannot bear the thought of innocent people being attacked and killed any more than you can. It greatly disturbs me. And I hope I do not sound as if I am completely uncaring about these people's plight. But it also disturbs me that we have the power to come in here and disrupt their evolution."

An argument that we have had before came up. The Professor asked how we would like it if, centuries ago, people from another planet came and interfered with our history. The counter-argument, that we've also had before, was brought up: for all we know, that *did* happen.

"Professor," Storm began, "this would not be the first time we have changed the course of history on another world. If you recall, many years ago, I was brought to Arkon's world and I was asked to help them, and I did so."

"That was a little different, though. You were abducted by Arkon."

"Well, she was abducted `den and now we crash landed here," Gambit said. "One way or another, we ended up somewhere. I tink dere is a reason for us being here an we should help dese people." I thought that was interesting, coming from Gambit. He wasn't the most spiritual person.

"We could help in a way that won't harm anyone," Jean said. "Without seeing the situation first hand, it is hard to say how but perhaps Storm could create some strong winds and carry the invaders back to where they came from. I could use my telekinesis to take their weapons or float them far away."

"Maybe we could dump `em on an island somewhere," Wolverine suggested. "That way, no one's hurt. We find an island where there are no other people, let the invaders live out their lives there, and these people will stay safe." As I listened to him, I had to wonder how satisfied Wolverine really was with this plan. I had to bet he'd really want to get down there and do battle with the bad guys.

I glanced at the Professor. The train had left the station. He was the only one who did not want to help the natives, and he knew it. Even if he didn't have telepathic abilities, he would have known it. He was also gearing up for a speech. "I see that I cannot change your minds," he finally said. "If this is what all of you want to do, I will not try to stop you." He paused. "I hope you consider that I might be right and that intervention might be wrong. Of course we may never know the consequences of our actions, in the centuries and millennia to come. I don't harbor any ill will against any of you for disagreeing with me, because I know that you want only to help and do what you think is right."

"Professor," Jean said softly but passionately, putting her hand over his, "I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do,"

"I know that is what you believe. Oftentimes in life there are no easy answers and we can only struggle to do what we think is right. I sometimes question the decisions I have made." He paused. "As we all know, sometimes a questionable decision can leave one staying up all night, wondering if one truly did the right thing. Many times I ask myself whether I was wrong to not punish those of you who tortured and killed the Friends of Humanity soldiers. But I chose to do nothing about it at the time, and I must live with my decision, though I now think it was wrong. And it occurred a year ago, so taking any action now would be inappropriate." He took a breath. "I hope I can live with my decision to not impede you from acting now." He looked around the table. "I will leave you for now," he said, as he turned his chair towards the door. "Please go ahead and discuss what you plan to do. I won't stop you."

He then left the room. We were quiet for a few moments. Storm then spoke, "Let us discuss what our plan is. But first….does anyone else disagree with the idea of helping these people? If you disagree, don't hesitate to speak up, like the Professor did. No one will think ill of you, and of course we will not force anyone into participating."

Hank added, "And we do not want to use `group think' to compel everyone to go along with us. Disagreement is always acceptable."

Still, no one verbalized any disagreement. Storm and Cyclops then led us in a discussion of what our next steps would be. Rogue's idea of performing reconnaissance was seen as a good one. As Cyclops said, "Even though we know Nurya was telling the truth, we need to get some idea of how many invaders there are, what their next steps and plans are, and what it might take to stop them."

We had a long discussion around this, as well. Everyone liked the idea of Storm and Rogue flying to perform the scouting ahead. I suggested that we strap a videocamera to one of them, so that those of us back on the ship could see what they did. My teammates liked that idea! (I felt proud at coming up with a good suggestion, especially since all this battle and military stuff really isn't my thing.)

The question of how to allow Rogue and Storm to get close to the invaders without being detected came up. Storm's original thought of using mist as a cover probably would not work, because if the mist was between the X-men and the invaders, we would not be able to see what was going on either. We tossed around several ideas of how to accomplish getting Storm and Rogue close enough but undetected.

Finally Jean said, "I can use my powers to alter their minds, in that they could think Storm and Rogue are just….two birds flying around or something." She reminded us of how she has used that power in the past. She can get inside people's heads and make them think they are seeing something other than what they are truly seeing. She said over the years she has enhanced this power and gotten better at it.

"But you'll need to be right there," Cyclops said. "You can't do that from a great distance."

"That's true," Jean said.

"I could carry her," Rogue offered.

Scott now looked extremely nervous. "Jean, you're eight and a half months pregnant. I—I really worry about you doing something like this."

"At the first sign of trouble, I can fly her away," Rogue said.

"Scott, I appreciate your concern," Jean said, "but you remember that I can control people's minds. If there is any trouble, I can use my powers to turn the attackers away."

Wolverine spoke up," What if you can't control their minds? Maybe their minds are different from these other natives'?"

"I suppose it is….conceivable that I cannot control their minds," Jean said. "Though if they are the same species as the people we met with, I am certain I will be able to enter their minds. But if I cannot, then Rogue can fly me away." She looked Cyclops and Wolverine. "I really appreciate your concern. I've proven my ability so many times with the X-men….it hurts to hear you both questioning it."

"Jean, we only care about you," Scott said. "We are not questioning your abilities at all. Surely you know that."

She nodded. "I do. And I am sure you know that I am capable of doing this. Being pregnant doesn't interfere with my powers."

Storm glanced from Jean to Cyclops to Wolverine. "So should we prepare now? I think that we should waste no time in this."

With that, we got to work. We strapped a videocamera to Storm just as we had with the group who had met with the natives. We looked over maps to get an idea of where to head off to. Storm, Rogue and Jean prepared for their mission, and the rest of us got ready to back them up if need be.

I was to play a crucial role in backing up Storm, Rogue and Jean. As we discussed, if something unforeseen should happen and we needed to come to the aid of the three, we would need to find a way to get there quickly. Storm and Rogue are the only two of us who have the ability to fly. (Jean can also do something akin to flying, using her mind, but it is quite taxing on her powers. The Professor could do the same too, of course, but he had said he was not going to assist us with any part of this.) The remaining seven of us looked at each other and turned over the best ways to assist the three, should we need to. How could we cover a great distance in the shortest amount of time?

Cyclops looked at me. "Bobby, you used to have a way to get around quickly," he said.

"Yes," I answered. It's kinda hard to describe, but once I turn into Iceman, I can create these pathways made of ice and just kinda….coast along them. It's like the ice shoots out of my fingers, I make it into a pathway towards where I want to go and just basically glide along. I had practiced doing so several times in the Danger Room. It comes pretty naturally to me and I can go * fast.* We discussed only doing this in an emergency. The ice eventually melts and would not, we were fairly certain, harm any of the plant or animal life on the planet. I am not strong enough to carry anyone while I do this, but we discussed having someone grasp my waist and ride along with me. It sounded feasible to me, though I really hoped we wouldn't have to do this. I reminded myself how strong Storm, Rogue and Jean are. They are three very powerful mutants. What could go wrong? I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was the one who freed us from the FOH soldiers. (Well, sorta.) I could do this too.

Oh, we did have two shuttles still aboard the ship but they weren't practical to use as a form of swift transport. They were built for transport, not speed, and would be cumbersome. We thought of using them only as a last resort.

* * *

There are some things in life that you see, that you cannot un-see. You wish your eyes had never been so cursed. That's how I felt that day when I stared at the monitors, which transmitted images from Storm's camera back to the group. The eight of us-including the Professor-sat by the monitors watching, though a few of us (like, Jubilee and myself) had to turn away at some points.

Storm, Rogue and Jean's mission was a success. After not long, they found the invading tribes. They weren't hard to spot, after all. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of these nomadic peoples. What became increasingly clear was that they were leaving a wake of destruction behind them.

We monitored Storm, Rogue and Jean's location on the computer, and maintained contact with them via the communicators. Of course, we saw what they saw by looking at the monitors. As we had discussed, Jean used her powers to have the invaders believe that they were a few birds flying around. No one took notice of them as they hovered around their camp.

Well, where do I start? The invaders' camp looked normal enough at first glance. It was clear that they loved their weapons, though, and most of the men in their society appeared to be warriors. We didn't see any weapons that looked more dangerous than swords, knives, and axes. Hank had a lap top computer and was typing away, gathering as many notes on these people as he could. So maybe someday I'll go back to his notes and enrich my description from them. But what I really want to write about is the horrible part. That's the part I can't get out of my mind. It's that part that kept me up at night. Storm, Rogue and Jean followed a group of warriors who attacked a small village.

The village that was attacked looked not unlike the one which had hosted us that very same day. The invaders simply rode in and….and pillaged. As the terrified villagers ran for their lives, the invaders rode in (they had some huge animals that looked like horses, only bigger and very fierce) and burned down houses and hacked people to death. I couldn't watch after a while. I saw babies and old people chopped to pieces. I got to see grown men pleading for their lives (although we couldn't understand the language, it was clear what was happening) and be beaten to death or hacked to pieces anyway.

And the rapes. These invaders must be related to FOH soldiers because they seemed to regard rape as their hobby. Some of them didn't even wait until the battle (if you could call it that; the villagers couldn't put up much resistance) was over and just grabbed the females and started raping them. I really started to wish that Storm would turn the camera away but she didn't. I didn't want to watch the girl, who had to be about 9 or 10, getting raped by the invaders. Jubilee was sitting next to Hank on one of the sofas. She turned her head away from the monitor, and he put an arm around her. I felt my stomach churn, seeing this and thinking that this was what some of my family members had had to endure at the hands of FOH so many months ago.

After the attackers looted the village, they gathered up most of the women villagers, tied them to some of their horse-like animals, and carried them back to their settlement. The women cried and screamed. Lots of severely injured but still alive men, children, and old people were left back at the village to slowly suffer and die, many of them calling out in agony. Houses and tents slowly burned, any valuables they'd held having been taken.

Once the nomads had begun their attacks, we'd gotten pretty quiet. The three women didn't say anything over their communicators either. As the attackers began to head back to their camp, it looked like the three X-men started to follow them.

Cyclops spoke into the communicator, "We have seen enough. Storm, Jean, Rogue-get back here."

"Acknowledged," Storm said, her voice betraying none of the horrors she had just witnessed first-hand. "We're returning to the ship." I had to marvel at her composure. I wondered how she really felt, given that she herself had lived through some of the abhorrences she'd just seen.

I closed my eyes and held my head in my hands. I wish I had never seen what we just viewed. You hear about or read about such violence but there's nothing like watching it first hand. It turns the stomach. Makes you question how human beings can do such things to each other.

* * *

After not long, Storm, Rogue and Jean returned to the ship. Although some of the X-men wanted to regroup immediately and plan their next move, a majority wanted a rest break. It was now long past dinner time, though many of the team had lost their appetite. They agreed to regroup in an hour.

The Professor joined the team when they regrouped around the table in sick bay. He made it clear that he still disagreed with their plans for intervention and still would not participate in it. "But I would like to hear what you plan to do from this point forward," he added.

Cyclops and Storm looked at each other. Cyclops marveled at his co-leader's composure given what she had just seen. `I underestimate her,' he thought to himself. `Maybe everyone does.' Year after year, he had seen Storm pushed to her limits in one situation after another, and yet she always emerged stronger. Cyclops's mind flashed back to the time, so many long years ago, when Storm, Gambit and Jubilee had been held prisoner on Genosha Island. As he was later told, Storm had been thrown into solitary confinement in a box-sized cell for hours on end. Storm's claustrophobia nearly rendered her senseless with terror. Yet as soon as she was rescued, she composed herself and fought against the Sentinels. During the battle, she was again pushed to her limits when she used as much of her power as she could muster to summon a crushing storm. She had exhausted herself mentally and physically. Yet after a few hours of rest in the Blackbird on the way back to the Institute, she was restored to her normal self - no, she was even tougher than she had been before.

Cyclops's own insecurities threatened to return-`Is Storm a better leader than I am?' `Does the team prefer her leadership over mine?' `Is she a stronger person than I am?' Cyclops forced himself to relax and remember the words Jean had used over the years to reassure him. `Just trust in yourself and know that you are a great leader. Don't compare yourself.' He mentally replayed her comforting thoughts. She was always so good to him.

Storm addressed the group first. "First I would like to know if anyone has changed their mind. Does anyone -aside from the Professor- " she gave a respectful nod towards her teacher, "believe we should not intervene?"

No one did. If anything, the footage strengthened their resolve. Seeing this, Cyclops then spoke, "I would suggest that our next course of action be to discuss the best means to preventing the invaders from advancing. Without hurting any of them, of course."

"I thought that Wolverine had a brilliant idea, of relocating the invaders to an island," Beast said. "During our break, I did some searching on the computer. There is an island not too far from here." He stood up, so he could use the map he printed as illustration. "It has several species of animals but no humanoids."

Jean spoke, "I like that idea too. I can use my telekinesis to get them there."

Storm spoke, "Jean, I think it would be less taxing if I could summon a great wind to transport them. It doesn't require as much energy from me."

Jean shrugged. "Either way is fine with me. I think you are right about your method being less taxing."

Cyclops said, "My only hesitation with the plan of moving the invaders to an island is that as soon as they learn how to build ships, the other people will no longer be safe."

A few looks were exchanged around the table. Storm said, "Perhaps that is the best we will be able to do. We are responding to the plea for help from these natives, and this will answer that plea for now."

"At least it will give natives some time to prepare," Colossus added. "Maybe they learn to build weapons, learn ways to hide."

"What about moving the invaders to another continent?" Iceman asked. "When we first came to this planet, didn't we learn that at least one of the continents was uninhabited by any humanoids?"

Storm and Cyclops looked at each other. "That's not a bad idea," Cyclops said. Beast drew up the copy of the large map which displayed the entire planet.

Storm said, "It will require some more power from me, to transport them such a great distance. The island Hank spoke about is nearby. This uninhabited landmass is quite a distance. But…it would certainly make life easier for the natives who asked our help. They would be unlikely to encounter the invaders for many more generations to come."

There was silence around the table. People nodded with approval of the plan.

"I have a question." The Professor spoke for the first time at this meeting. "Have you considered what to do with the slaves of the invaders? As we saw, a good number of the women from the attacked villages were taken by the invaders back to their camp as slaves. They could have hundreds -or even thousands- of slaves. What is to be done with them?"

His words echoed in the room. No one spoke for quite some time because no one had any answers. Jubilee mused out loud, saying the unspoken thoughts of many, "It would really suck to just leave them with the people who kidnapped them. And if we move them all to another continent, the slaves will never get back to the villages they were taken from."

Storm took a deep breath. "Of course, as far as we can see, the villages they were taken from have all been destroyed. Assuming the battle we saw today was representative of their usual modus operandi."

"The natives we met with earlier today also said that the invaders completely destroyed the villages," Cyclops said.

"I saw it in the mind of the refugee who escaped," Jean said, her eyes staring off into the distance. "He saw his entire village burned. Just like what we saw today, a few children and old people were left to die." Her thoughts kept wandering and she had to struggle to stay focussed. The horrors of man's inhumanity to man. What a shame that other planets experienced the violence and destruction that took place on earth.

"So the slaves would have nothing to return to," Cyclops said.

"They wouldn't have `nothing'," Wolverine said, grimly. "You could bet they'd be welcomed into the tribes of the people like those we met today."

"That would sure be a better life for them than havin to live out their years with the people who kidnapped them," Rogue said.

"So what do we do?" Iceman asked. "Is there anyway we can….sort out the slaves from the non-slaves before we….transport them?"

"That would take quite a lot of time, if there are thousands of people in the invaders' camps," Cyclops said.

"An' dat would be doin a lot of meddling in their culture," Gambit said. "Much as Gambit hate the idea of them invaders havin' slaves, once we interact with dem an start askin questions, we really interfering with them."

"He's right," Storm said. "With my original idea of using a huge gust of wind to transport them to another continent, they would never know what hit them. It was….clean and simple. If we need to get down there, interact with them to find out who is a slave and who is not…..suddenly it is very messy."

"And there is another potential complication," Beast began. "As the Professor mentioned, we know that the invaders capture the women from the villages they attack and bring them back as slaves. But it is also possible that the invaders have slaves who were born into their own tribes, in addition to the ones they kidnap. Highly warlike cultures such as this one often have numerous layers of social stratification, and frequently have a caste of their own people who are slaves as well. Many cultures in earth history bear this out." He paused. "If we are going to separate out those slaves who are not from their tribes, should we also separate out those who are from their own tribes?"

"And if we do that," Jean began, "would those slaves be welcomed into the villages of those people we met with today? And if they were not welcomed, how would they live? Or would they become warlike and aggressive themselves?"

During this exchange, numerous X-men took brief glances at the Professor. They knew, of course, he would refrain from saying `I told you so.'

The discussions lasted well into the evening. The more the group speculated, the more questions that came up. They realized they would never be able to answer all of these questions. Options were presented, analyzed, debated, and discarded.

By nightfall, a decision was made. Not everyone agreed on it, but by then the 11 weary minds around the table knew that no solution was going to be anywhere near perfect. The X-men decided to go ahead with their original plan of transporting all the invaders to another continent. They decided that they could not do anything to improve the lives of their slaves. At least they would be stepping in to aid the people who had pleaded for help and be preventing anymore villages from being destroyed.

"An imperfect solution for an imperfect world," Beast had summarized. He avoided looking in the Professor's direction. He knew instinctively after all their years together that Charles did not think any less of him for going against his views. Yet Hank still felt regret.

* * *

The next morning, the group of 20 natives who served as their village's council waited outside the ship for the X-men. The Professor, Cyclops, Jean, Storm, Beast, and Iceman met them outside the ship. None had slept particularly well the night before and each had risen at the crack of dawn.

"He's telling them that we agreed to help remove the invaders," Jean said to her teammates as the Professor communicated with the natives. "He is telling them a little about our plan….of course he's being as vague as possible on the `how's'. They are astounded that we can do what we say…..They are very grateful though."

Storm spoke to Jean and the Professor. "I am going to need to rest up and gather as much of my strength as possible to do this," she said. "But I should be able to do it today."

The natives were thrilled beyond belief. They said they would return in the evening to check back with the X-men.

Most of the X-men had worked together for a long time. They were used to going on treacherous missions together, battling Apocalypse, Sinister and a host of other dangerous foes. They were also used to things going wrong, unexpected crises occurring, plans needing to be changed at the last minute. Yet this day was a surprise for them.

Storm spent the morning meditating. By lunchtime, she declared that she was ready. She and Rogue flew to the invaders' camp. They had set up base astride a series of hills. Storm and Rogue flew to the highest one and looked down at the tents. As far as they could see, the area swam with tents, animals, and people. There were thousands of the invaders, milling around, practicing their weapon usage, preparing to pillage another settlement.

Storm then stood as straight as she could and drew in a deep breath. She raised her arms to the heavens. "I summon the winds. Heed my call. Lift the invaders and carry them all." She continued her commands, in her stately voice as massive winds appeared. The winds swept up the invaders-everyone in their camps, their tents, animals, and belongings-and began to move them. Storm made a swift gesture with an arm, as if sweeping them away. Before Rogue could blink, they were gone.

Cyclops's voice was heard over the communicator. They were using the ship's sensors to monitor the situation. "So far so good," Cyclops said, looking at his monitor. The ship's sensors indicated that the gust of wind-and everything enveloped inside of it-was now progressing rapidly over the sea.

"Keep it up, Storm," Rogue encouraged. Storm's eyes were closed, arms still raised. She knew her instincts would tell her when her work was done. They were always right.

"They're over the uninhabited continent now," Cyclops spoke into the communicator.

"Now, Storm!" Rogue said.

Storm lowered her arms abruptly and opened her eyes. She inhaled again. "It is done." The maneuver had drained her of strength. Rogue caught her just before she fell over.

Cyclops's voice sounded, "Mission accomplished, Storm. Nice work."

"Alright!" Rogue said. "We're returning to the ship," she said, taking off with her teammate in her arms.

I sat staring at the computer's monitor, pleased with the day's events. Storm did it! Our sensors showed no more invaders in this area. Those that she transported all made it safely across the ocean to their new home.

I think that compared to a lot of my fellow X-men, I was fairly pleased with how things turned out. The previous night, a lot of us had gone to bed frustrated. But I knew that there are no perfect solutions in life, and this one seemed pretty good to me. The invaders were gone. We'd responded to the plea from the natives who needed us, and they would be safe for generations to come. Things turned out about as well as could be expected.

* * *

The natives returned to us later that day. They were ecstatically happy, Jean told us, at the news that the threat was no more. "They would like to have a celebration for us, to thank us for what we did."

All eyes turned to the Professor. I really expected him to say that he had interfered far too much already, but instead he said, "We might as well finish what we started. I will tell them that we will join them for their celebration. However, Storm is still resting and I do not think she will be ready today. I will let them know that we will celebrate with them tomorrow, if they can be ready then."

The natives told us that they would return midday tomorrow, to escort us back to their village for the party.

* * *

The Professor looked up from his papers when he heard the knock at his door. He had been reading in his room, having printed off pages of books he wanted to read. He, as many of his pupils, missed the feel of a good book in his hands and the computer print-outs were sorry substitutes. The Professor had once ventured into the ship's small library and had not been surprised to discover that none of the books or magazines there interested him remotely.

"Come in, Scott," the Professor said, answering the knock.

The door slid aside and Cyclops entered. The Professor, of course, had the ability to read the minds and sense the feelings of everyone on board the ship, though he chose not to. He never liked to enter people's minds without their consent. Besides, communicating with the natives had been draining. He did not, however, need his powers to sense the mood Scott was in or what he wanted to discuss.

"Good evening, Professor," Scott said.

"Hello, Scott."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Not at all," he said, smiling. "You know you are never a disturbance to me." He gestured for Scott to sit down.

"What are you reading? Not anything about engineering, I hope," Scott said with a laugh, settling into the chair in the corner of the room.

"No, not at all. That is the last thing I would chose to peruse in my spare time." He grasped the papers. "These are some print outs from Hank. They're about the topic of babies and children. I believe you have read this already, but please take a look. You're certainly welcome to it."

Scott glanced at the article. "Oh, yes. Hank printed this for Jean and I a while ago."

"I'm interested in the topic as well. I cannot believe that I am to become a grandfather again, and in two weeks' time, no less. I am very excited."

"Me too, Professor. I'm a little nervous too, but Jean tells me that I'll be a great Dad."

"I am sure you will be. Don't doubt yourself, Scott."

"Well, I have a wonderful role model," Scott said.

Scott looked at the Professor with respect. The Professor flashed back briefly to the way he had felt at dinner a few days ago. Sitting around the table, someone had asked Jean and Scott what names they were thinking of for their baby. Scott and Jean had looked at each other before answering. "Well," Jean had said, "we really liked Jubilee's idea of paying tribute to someone through her baby's name. And we want to honor the man who has been our teacher, leader, role model and source of wisdom for so many years. So the baby will be named after the Professor. Charles will be his name, if a boy. If a girl, we will name her Charlotte, which is the feminine form of the name." Jean hadn't needed her powers to feel the Professor's pride and overwhelming love for the couple. The Professor had not been surprised at the tribute, but he had been very, very touched.

After a pause, Scott continued, "But I wanted to talk to you tonight about what happened today. And yesterday." Scott took a breath. "In your opinion, we made a mistake," he stated.

The Professor nodded, "The team made a decision that I do not agree with. Although I cannot say I am happy about it, I do not doubt that everyone did what he felt was right. You know that, Scott," he said gently. The Professor had said these words before, more or less, to the team during the past 48 hours. "Is that what you came here to discuss?"

Scott's eyes looked down. "I hope you are not….disappointed with me."

"Not at all, Scott." The Professor moved his wheelchair closer to where Scott sat, close enough that he could touch his arm. "You and Storm are both wonderful leaders. I am not disappointed in you or any of the others."

"But I now feel that…..you might have been right, and what we did may have been a mistake."

"It might have been," the Professor acknowledged. "In all likelihood, we will never know. What is important is that we examine our decisions, reflect on them, and learn what we can."

Scott nodding, absorbing his words. "Professor, should we rethink celebrating with them tomorrow?"

"I don't think so. However, I am going to set some guidelines with the team before we go to the celebration. I think we should be clear with the natives that this will be our last interaction with them, and we are doing this only to bring closure."

Scott nodded. "That makes sense to me."

"We will need to hold fast to this, as well. And I think that once we redouble our efforts on engine repair, we can be off this planet in just a few months."

Scott left the Professor's room feeling much better.

* * *

As he had planned to, the next day the Professor established some guidelines for the group during lunch. They liked his idea of this final interaction with the natives bringing closure.

He also had an order for the team. He did not look forward to verbalizing this mandate, but it needed to be done. "As you know, the members of this culture have a very positive attitude towards sex. They invited us before to sleep with them. I must insist," he said this firmly, "that we deny that request, if they ask again. The last thing we want to do is mingle our genes with theirs. If mutations develop in their society, we will have seriously altered their natural evolution." He paused, "I dislike the idea of telling any of you what to do in your personal lives, but I insist with regards to this."

Cyclops nodded. "That makes sense to me."

`Yeah, easy for you to say,' Wolverine thought to Cyclops. Wolverine had gone for far too long without sex. It had been well over a year now, and the forced celibacy had been grating on him for a long time. If any of the native women had propositioned him, he would have gone off with her in a heartbeat. Now he could not. What's worse is that this was to be their last encounter with the natives. So no more chances of encountering any other females until…..God knows when. Maybe never, at the rate they were going.

Wolverine briefly toyed with the idea of disobeying the Professor. He was extremely frustrated. He had been ready and willing to do battle with the invaders, but that instinct had been crushed. Spending most of his days cooped up in the ship wasn't helping either. Nor was seeing the woman he loved pregnant with another man's child. And now this. He fought his instinct to pound his fist through a wall or destroy something with his claws.

Fighting this instinct was growing harder with every passing day.

* * *

The natives came for us soon after lunch, and we followed them to their village. Except for Wolverine. He said he wanted to stay behind and keep an eye on the ship. The Professor had said before that he would not force anyone to keep guard over the ship and wanted to let everyone enjoy the celebration, but Wolverine insisted that the ship could not be left alone. "I don't want to join the party either," he had grumbled. He really was in a pissed off mood, I could tell. I strongly suspected that the no-sex mandate had something to do with it too, but I knew Wolverine well enough to know that was not the only thing bothering him either.

So the 11 of us (including Aurora, who had been placed in the baby carrier given to us by the natives) set off for the village.

The party was awesome! I had such a blast. The music was so good, I got up to dance! Jubilee scrambled up to join me, leaving Rory in Cyclops's arms. She and I danced away unabashedly, with groups of natives. After not long, Storm, Gambit, Rogue and even Colossus joined us. We had such a great time! I think Jubilee and I danced for hours.

I'm a good dancer too, by the way. I noticed so were Gambit and Storm. Jubilee and Rogue danced well enough to get by, and Colossus was an awkward dancer, but we were all having fun so that's what matters. I tried my best to get the others to dance, but they steadfastly refused. Hank was too absorbed in learning as much as he could about the people, with Jean and the Professor translating. Cyke said he didn't dance (big surprise.) Jean said she enjoyed dancing but just was too far along now and too busy translating.

The food was great too. They presented us with many different types of meat and fish dishes, as well as with a variety of vegetables, and a beans and rice dish. Sweets, however, did not seem to be in their food-vocabulary so the only desserts we had were dried fruits. It was all delicious though. When I wasn't dancing, I was eating. I drank only water, though, as all their alcohol was way too bitter for my tastes. Colossus was the only one of us who could drink it. They presented him with many flasks of the drink as a gift.

Speaking of gifts, they lavished us with more baby toys and baskets full of food. Such wonderful people. The children all clustered around "Goluba" too, delighted to see their old friend. Hank was so gentle and warm with the kids. What a great Dad he would have made, I mused. Ah well. He had Aurora, and he was a loving Uncle to her.

And oh yes, they invited us to make love with them. I wished I knew what their attitude towards homosexuality was. I mean, the Professor said not to share our genes with them, but if I were to go off with another man, there was no risk of me leaving my mutated genes behind. However, I was too embarrassed to ask Jean or the Professor to broach this topic with the natives. I couldn't do it. A few female natives approached me in such a way that no translation was necessary, but no males did. And I sure wasn't about to approach them. Basically I think it's been so long now that I just should be re-instated as a virgin.

After hours of dancing and eating too much, I was exhausted. The sun had set and the village was illuminated with numerous torches and lanterns. The party showed no signs of slowing down, though. I spied Hank sitting around the campfire with the Professor and several natives.

I then went up to Hank. He acknowledged me with a smile, but I knew he was still absorbing as much as he could about the culture these people lived in. I didn't want to interrupt him. Instead I snuggled next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He put an arm around me. My head eventually wound up in his lap. I knew he wouldn't mind. His big, furry body was so cozy and I nestled against the warmth and comfort of his soft fur. I loved it. When I woke up, he was carrying me back to the ship.

* * *

The 11 X-men walked back to their ship, guided by several natives. Jubilee, Iceman and Aurora were all sound asleep. Rogue carried Jubilee, Beast carried Iceman and Cyclops held the baby. Lanterns held by the natives illuminated their way through the forest. If it were not for their guides, getting lost in the forest was a very real possibility. Of course, Storm and Rogue could have flown ahead, but they did not want to flaunt their powers.

Storm carried several baskets full of gifts given to them by the natives. She replayed the events of the last few days, as she followed the man in front of her. `It is done now,' she told herself. `We cannot undo it.' Understanding that, Storm still mulled over the team's decision. She had her doubts, though she was mostly sure they had done the right thing. Witnessing the horrors of the invaders' attack on the defenseless village and their slaughter of the people had been appalling. She saw with her own eyes one of the invaders raping the girl from the village they attacked. She hadn't expected it to affect her so much, but for many terrifying moments she had been taken back to the terrible assaults she had endured. The screams made by the girl were the screams Storm had muffled. The agony on the girl's face was the agony Storm had shunted to the recesses of her mind.

It had reminded her that she was not as invincible-emotionally, or otherwise-as she liked to think (and liked for others to think.)

But something else was bothering Storm. She had not been thrilled with the Professor's order to avoid sex with the natives. She had been looking forward to the possibility of coupling with one (or several) of them. She had known from their previous encounters that the people were very pro-sex and it was likely they would offer again. Well, they had but this time she'd been under orders not to indulge. `Of course, I really could have,' she told herself. The no-sex rule had been for the purpose of not leaving any natives impregnated with mutant children. Storm sure didn't have to worry about doing that. Still, she had not wanted to disobey a direct order from the Professor.

Now Storm was regretting it. Who knew when her next chance to encounter anyone aside from her fellow X-men would be? It could be years. Storm was a woman who enjoyed lovemaking very much. It simply had been far too long.

For the past several months, Storm had been toying with an idea. If she were to follow through on it, it could have disastrous consequences. But the consequences also could be wonderful. She didn't know, and Storm hated this uncertainty. However, with every passing week, she was coming closer to deciding upon just taking the risk and going for it.

Jean walked aside Scott. She was weary and wanted to hold his hand, but he was cradling Aurora in his arms. She was pleased to see how well he handled the baby over the last few months. She had no doubts that Scott would make a good father when their own baby arrived.

Jean felt sadness that this would be the group's last interaction with the natives. They had asked her to have her baby with them "so we can celebrate the sacrament of childbirth together." She asked them many questions about their birthing ceremonies and rituals, and had been quite taken in by it. Part of her had been very attracted to the thought of giving birth there. Yet she also was comforted by thoughts of the sterile, white infirmary.

None of the X-men knew it, but Wolverine had created huge gashes in his bedroom wall that evening.

TO BE CONTINUED


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Once the X-men were finished dealing with the planet's inhabitants, they turned their full energies back to repairing their ship's engines. For the first time in a long time, the four members of the engineering team felt as if they were making progress in understanding what needed to be done to fix the engines. Yet their work was arduously slow going.

One evening, Jubilee sat on the bridge with Aurora. Holding the sleeping infant, she looked out at the sea, visible through the big picture window. She watched the waves rhythmically crash against the beach as the sun set in the background. Jubilee's mind began to wander. Memories long pushed aside gradually began to resurface. As time passed, the sun gradually disappeared. After some time, Jubilee placed her sleeping daughter inside her carrier.

She started and whirled her head around, gasping when the door to the bridge slid aside.

"I didn't mean to scare ya, darlin'," Wolverine said. He'd hoped to grab a few minutes to watch the sun setting against the ocean that evening, and hadn't known Jubilee would be on the bridge. He took a closer look at his young friend's face. It was streaked with tears.

Jubilee mumbled something like "It's okay," in response to Wolverine's startling entry. She was embarrassed that he'd seen her crying, but at the same time she didn't want him to leave.

"You okay, kid?" he asked.

Jubilee looked down and tried to muffle her tears. She decided against nodding her head, since it would so obviously be a lie.

"You feel like talkin' about it?"

This time Jubilee nodded. She didn't want him to go. Wolverine approached her slowly. She was sitting in the captain's chair, and he took a seat next to her. Wolverine reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here you go," he said.

"Thank you," Jubilee managed to say. She took the handkerchief and used it. When she was done wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, she handed it back to Wolverine. He took it and placed it back inside his pocket.

Jubilee then decided she wanted a hug more than anything. She turned her chair towards Wolverine's and slid into his arms. As his arms encircled her, she felt the dam burst and resumed crying, this time harder. She let him hold her as her emotions spilled forth and her tears fell onto his shoulder. She cried for a long time, not muffling any of her sobs. The fabric covering Wolverine's shoulder became damp.

Afterwards, Jubilee felt better. Letting it all out and feeling Wolverine's warmth and caring helped. She broke off the embrace and looked at him. "I, um-thank you for-" she began, but was cut off by her baby's cries. Aurora woke up from her nap. Much as Jubilee loved the baby, the girl's cries could be ear-splitting at times and she knew they had to be even worse for someone who was not as accustomed to it as she was.

Jubilee looked apologetically at Wolverine. "I have to feed her now," she said. "Um, are you gonna be ok with-"

"Do what you gotta do, Jubilee. You still want me here?"

Jubilee nodded. "If you wanna stay, then, yes," she answered. Wolverine averted his eyes as she unbuttoned her shirt, reached for the screaming baby and then placed Rory at her breast. Rory contently grasped one of her mother's breasts and suckled.

Jubilee looked back at Wolverine. "Thank you," she said. Her eyes were still wet but the tears had ceased.

"Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, kid, I'm here for ya." He paused. Jubilee noticed that his eyes met hers and did not once stray downwards. "So, do you wanna talk about it now?"

Jubilee nodded. "I just feel sick watching what happened to that girl. The one that Storm's camera showed us." There was no need to specify any further which girl was meant. "I don't know why it hit me now….I was just sitting here looking at the sea when that came into my mind. I just-every now and then I have these flashbacks…A lot of what happened to me, I blocked out. But every now and then, bits and pieces keep coming back."

Wolverine placed an arm around her shoulders. Jubilee met his gaze. She was struck by the caring and concern in those eyes. She went on, "And now that I have Aurora, sometimes I worry that something like that is going to happen to her…..Part of me was worried that I would hate this baby, but now I love her so much."

Wolverine spoke, "You're a very loving mom. She is lucky to have you." He took a breath. "I'm sorry about what happened to you when we were prisoners on this ship. I hate that I couldn't prevent it."

"I know. There was nothing you could have done though. There was nothing any of us could have done."

They continued talking like this for some time. It was amazingly easy, Jubilee knew, to pour out everything to Wolverine. He was a good listener. He offered as much support and advice as he could.

"You ever think of training again, Jubilee?" he asked her at one point. "That might help. We don't know what the future will bring. It might make you feel more in control if you were back to training, using your powers like before."

She looked at him. She hadn't ever used the Danger Room on board this ship. As her pregnancy had progressed, she had wanted to get back into shape. But once Aurora arrived, Jubilee spent so much time with the baby, she had not trained.

"You made a damn good X-man," Wolverine continued. "I liked your bravery and your spirit right from the start. `Princess of Pyrotechnics'," he said, smiling, using a nickname she'd espoused for a time. Jubilee returned his smile. "You've got good powers and you have always been a brave one."

Jubilee smiled, "The flattery approach is working. You've actually got me considering training again."

"C'mon, Jubilee. Tomorrow you and I could go a few rounds in the Danger Room against Sinister and the Nasty Boys. You'll be back at the level you were at before you know it. I'll help you."

She took a breath. "Okay. I'll try it. Maybe you're right about it helping me get over my fears." She paused, "Though we're going to have to set the Danger Room to a very easy setting at first, ok?"

He nodded.

Aurora had stopped nursing. Jubilee looked down at her baby. "You wanna hold her? She does love her Uncle Wolvie."

"Okay," Wolverine said, suppressing his grin. He loved holding the baby and knew that Jubilee knew that. But he still didn't like to admit it. He took her into his arms. Aurora promptly reached up and grabbed at Wolverine's facial hair.

"She's been doing stuff like that all the time," Jubilee said. "She's been grabbing at everything and putting everything in her mouth."

"That's ok," Wolverine said. He didn't mind the tugging at his hair and was heartened that Jubilee wanted to resume training again. Looking at Aurora and her mother, he felt an intense surge of love, so strong it worried him. Loving someone always brought so much pain. He knew that his words to Jubilee had been right. No one knew what the future would bring, and Wolverine suspected that no matter how many lightyears were between them now, the X-men would someday again encounter the Friends of Humanity. And when they did, he might be as helpless to protect Jubilee and the others as he was the first time.

* * *

The birth of Jean and Scott's baby was surprisingly simple and…festive, even. Jean said she wanted us to all be a part of it; she didn't seclude herself at all. She walked around, hung out with us in the rec room, and interacted with all of us during her labor, except for during the very last stages.

I saw something that I thought was very touching. When she was having a contraction, Scott put his hands on her lower back and applied pressure. She said that really helped make the contraction more bearable. She also owned up to using her mental abilities to lessen the severity of the pain.

Jean told us she'd been writing a lot of poetry lately. I knew she'd always been a fan of it. Hank had been reviewing her work and thought it excellent. She said she thought her impending motherhood was fueling her creativity.

When she reached the final stages of labor, she, Hank and Scott went off into the infirmary. The rest of us waited around in the rec room, exchanging excited looks. Hours later, Hank came in and told us that Jean and Scott had a beautiful baby girl. She weighed in at 7lbs, 5 ounces.

As when Jubilee's baby was born, we all filed into the infirmary to have a look at the newest member of the team. Jean looked tired but happy, and Scott radiated pride. The Professor looked teary and joyful as he held little Charlotte Lynn Summers-Grey. I thought it was a beautiful name and very cool to pay tribute to the Professor like that.

The baby looked a lot like how Aurora had when she was a newborn-red, tiny, and rather ugly. Charlotte had her mom's red hair.

After we'd all seen her and welcomed her to the family, Jean and Scott said they wanted to be alone with the baby. They lit a bunch of candles in sick bay, turned off the lights, and spent the quiet time with Charlotte.

* * *

A few more weeks passed, and the weather grew warm. The natives held true to their agreement to leave us alone. The Professor said they were quite baffled by our desire to avoid contact, but they would respect it-especially since they were so grateful to us. Occasionally Wolverine or Jean would say they could sense them in the distance. But the natives never approached us again.

As the days grew longer and the sun shone brighter, we agreed to set up camp outside as we had before. One breezy morning, we pitched our tents and set up the campfire. We set up in a grassy area which was just a short walk from the sandy beach. Unlike the last time we'd used the tents, we really would need a campfire this time. Dinners were spent sitting in a circle around the fire, talking, laughing and eating.

"Shall we keep the same groups as we had before?" Storm asked, when it came time to ask who would room with who. A chorus of "Sure's" and "Why not's" was the answer.

I got an interesting thought about our rooming groups. We had established them on a spur of the moment, but they seemed to be centered around who was having sex and who was not-and who therefore needed to be separated. Both the couples were together as they should be. As for the remaining 7 adults, all of whom now were in a period of prolonged celibacy, we were grouped in a way that none of us would be rooming with someone we might be attracted to. Four straight guys shared one tent, and two straight females and me-the gay guy-had the other. No risk of undressing in front of someone you might be attracted to.

I might be reading too much into this, but I think the lack of sex was really getting to some members of the team. Now that we were back in the tents and spending more and more of our days outside, you could once again hear the sounds of lovemaking during the night. (Especially from Rogue and Gambit…..Jean and Cyke somehow manage to be more quiet but you can still hear them.) Those of us who weren't "getting any" were awfully testy at times.

Speaking of being testy, Wolverine often was in a foul mood as is usual for him. But I really gotta give the guy credit. I mean, he spends day in and day out around the woman he loves, and her husband and their baby. It would drive a lesser man crazy. I think all things considered, he handled it pretty well.

Oh, we also did hear Charlotte wake up in the middle of the night and cry too. Jean and Scott often took her back into the ship when she did this to give the rest of us some peace and quiet, though I honestly didn't mind the baby crying too much. Sometimes they managed to quiet the baby right away. But you would usually hear the couple getting up, flashlights and baby blankets in hand, and heading for the ship together with the screaming baby.

Aurora now was getting to the point where she could sleep through the night. When she didn't, Jubilee either quieted her by feeding her or she took the girl back to the ship. It didn't bother me either when she cried, even though we were in the very same tent. I loved Rory like she was my own niece. I loved to hold her on my lap and play with her. Wolverine had carved from wood a few baby toys and rattles for both of the children. He used wood from twigs and branches that had fallen off trees; he did not, of course, cut down any trees himself. I must say Wolverine had done a darn fine job with his handiwork too.

So basically our days were spent with the engineering team working away (can I say again how glad I am that I was not picked for that one!), and all of us taking walks along the beach or in the forest. We set up our volleyball net again, and I played regularly though I still cannot serve to save my life. Everyone was just really patient about it. When it was my turn to serve, another of my teammates would do it, and the opposing team didn't mind. Gambit and Wolverine each, at separate times, gave me one-on-one lessons on serving. It helped a little. It was nice of them to do that.

The two babies also provided us our entertainment, with everyone cooing and fussing over them. We held a ceremony to welcome Charlotte, similar to the one we had for Aurora (except it was more Christian-oriented rather than pagan.) Jean, Scott and the Professor looked about as happy as I'd ever seen them.

We also spent some of our time during the weeks using the Danger Room as usual. I was delighted that Jubilee had resumed training! Storm and I had asked her before to consider training again, but I guess it was whatever Wolverine said to her that did the trick. I knew the two of them had a special bond. Anyway, Jubilee was soon back up to her old level of proficiency. I fleetingly thought back to those terrible days when she had been shut off to us mentally. Part of me had feared she would never get better. How wrong I was on that. She's one tough cookie, and I had to admire that.

At long last, the weather warmed up enough that we could swim in the ocean. The bathing suits were brought back out, and we spent half the day frolicking in the water. We had to be a little more careful since we were in an ocean rather than the small, secluded lake we had before. A few of the fish looked menacing. But we greatly enjoyed swimming outside again.

* * *

One day, Rogue and Gambit invited Iceman along on a picnic they planned for lunch. Bobby was surprised at the invitation since the couple frequently kept to themselves. He observed them often just sitting and talking with each other, looking deep into each other's eyes. Their love for each other was nearly palpable to everyone else. Bobby regretted the fact that Gambit no longer spent as much time with him as he used to, and jumped at the chance to join them that sunny day.

"Sure, I'll join you for lunch," Bobby said. "I'd love to. Thanks for asking me."

"We asked a few others, Sugar," Rogue said. "`Seems everyone's either swimming or not up for a walk right now."

"I'm kinda all swum out. At least for today," Bobby said.

"Us too." Gambit added. "But today too beautiful to waste, non?"

They packed their lunch, grabbed a communicator, and started walking. The X-men usually avoided the forest, as they knew several dangerous animals made it their home. However, walking between the beach and forest, they knew they would soon arrive at a grassy area.

"Lovely," Bobby said when they reached the place. The grass was cool under their feet. Several trees provided shade, though the sun was not overbearing. A gentle breeze wafted by on occasion.

"Gambit really use' to bein' on vacation now," the Cajun said, as he lay down on his back. He'd just finished his sandwich.

"Me too," Bobby said. "I almost wouldn't mind if we never went back."

"Mutant haters, crowds, pollution, violence-what's not to hate about earth?" Rogue said. "This place suits me just fine."

"Me too, chere," Gambit said, reaching a hand towards Rogue's thigh. "'Specially since you here, amor."'

Bobby observed out of the corner of his eyes and cleared his throat. "I—uh-assume you didn't ask me along on this picnic if you two planned to get, ahem, intimate."

Rogue smiled, picking up Gambit's hand and returning it to him. "Nah, Gambit and I are gonna save that for tonight. Right, sugar?"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Bobby said wryly.

"Poor Bobby," Rogue mused. "No boyfriend here for you to spend your nights with."

"You so good at replicating things, you need to replicate yourself a boyfriend, mes amis." Gambit commented.

"If only," Bobby mused.

"Hey, Drake," Rogue began, changing the topic, "wouldja tell us a bit about your early years in the X-men?"

"Yeah," Gambit said, sitting up. "Gambit would love to hear that."

"We hear stuff about the early years of the X-men before we joined," Rogue said, "but it's always Cyke's or Jean's or Beast's version. I'd love to hear somethin' from what you experienced, sugar."

Bobby groaned. "A lot of it is bad. That was a sucky time of life for me. It really was."

"Aw, c'mon, aren't there any tales of how you saved the day?"

Bobby snorted. "Far from it." He silently added that there *were* tales of how he almost betrayed the entire team to Mystique.

His mind flashed back to one of the darkest periods of his life. All the feelings of self-hatred and guilt returned as his mind replayed the events. Bobby had been in the X-men for a couple of years, his performance steadily declining along with his self-confidence. He could no longer be counted on to take part in a mission without jeopardizing his own—or his teammates'-lives. He was a 20 year old closet case, terrified that anyone might discover his "shameful" secret.

Except his secret had been found out. Mystique had taken to spying on the X-men whenever they left the mansion. Bobby never had a clue that he was being followed or that his email was being intercepted and saved.

One afternoon he'd been downtown, running several errands. He stopped at a deli for lunch when a woman confronted him. She knew his name and that he was a mutant. Bobby fought to remain calm. "Who are you?" he asked her.

The woman changed her shape before his eyes, her hair now turning red and her skin blue. None of the businesspeople, speedily gobbling down their sandwiches, even turned their heads to look. A few of the deli's patrons gave the woman a second glance, but most were so accustomed to strange happenings with all the "freakin' mutants" running around that this incident hardly merited a stare.

"Mystique," Bobby stated.

"At your service, Bobby," she said flatly, her flinty eyes staring straight through the young man, drilling into him.

"What do you want?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady and not betray his fear. He reminded himself that he could always change into Iceman and freeze her, if need be. Of course his recent lack of success on missions was not bolstering his confidence that he'd be able to defeat the shapeshifter if it came to a fight.

Mystique answered the X-man's question. She wanted quite a bit, actually. She wanted a copy of the layout of the mansion and detailed schematics of the Danger Room and the Blackbird.

"You're crazy," Bobby finally said when she was done listing her demands. "Give me one good reason why I should hand that stuff over to you." Every fiber in his body was prepared to change into Iceman, he mentally and physically got ready to attack in case she pulled something.

"I do have one good reason," Mystique said, her cold voice betraying no emotion. "In fact, I have many." She paused. "How would you like your teammates to know that you're a -what's the term people use nowadays?-in my day we called it a queer. A homosexual, a gay man." She said the last few words with undisguised revulsion in her voice. The shapeshifter enjoyed watching the color drain out of Bobby's face as he squirmed.

Any attempt at keeping his cool was thrown to the wind for Iceman. "How—how do you know that?" he stammered.

Mystique laughed. "Dear boy, you've been followed for months. Your email has been intercepted and copied. I have videotapes of you entering and leaving that lovely bar-what's it called?-Vortex? A bar that only caters to….homosexual clientele. And I have copies of all those letters you emailed to Rick, and the ones you sent to and received from Bill." She pulled from her purse several papers and handed them to Bobby.

Bobby's mouth fell open as he took the papers from Mystique. Copies of the emails he had sent to and received from various boyfriends. He had no idea he'd been under surveillance for months. He began to panic.

"Those are just copies of my copies," Mystique stated flatly. "I wonder what your dear Professor and the others would say if they received copies of this in the mail or if copies of these were emailed to them. And what would they say if they were to view tapes of you swarming in and out of queer bars. I bet Mr. Worthington and Mr. Summers would be particularly disgusted. Well, then I can't imagine that the others would be pleased either. Your future with the X-men would be over." Mystique looked at Bobby and gauged his reaction. The papers he held were shaking, and his eyes and now-paled skin left no doubt as to his fear.

"Cat got your tongue?" she asked. "Let me help you out. As I see it, you have two choices. Give me the information I'm requesting or get kicked out of the X-men in disgrace. Well, either way you're getting kicked out, but if you give me what I'm asking for, it will be much less embarrassing for you."

Mystique left Bobby sitting in the deli, pondering his future. She told him to meet her at the same place in 24 hours, or she would send the incriminating evidence to the X-men right away.

Bobby tried to focus on the road as he drove back to the mansion. His gut told him to find a cliff and drive off it, and he seriously considered crashing the vehicle into a semi. Somehow he reached the mansion in one piece. As soon as he pulled into the garage and stopped the car, he pulled the car back out. He knew what he needed to do, and he drove to the drug store.

There was no way out of this one. There was nothing he could do. A more analytical or more confident mind would have realized he had options, would have realized that his fears were unfounded. But Bobby was a man who hated himself with a passion.

Bobby returned from the drug store and reached his room. Walking into the small bathroom, he obtained a glass of water. He then unscrewed the cap to the bottle of sleeping pills.

"Bobby? May I enter your room?" The Professor's voice was heard through the door.

Bobby panicked. How much did the Professor know? Did he sense that Bobby had seriously considered betraying the X-men to one of their worst foes? Bobby quickly crammed the bottle of pills under the bed covers. "Come in," he called.

The Professor entered Bobby's unkempt room. At first Bobby kept his eyes low and didn't meet the Professor's. Charles Xavier saved Bobby's life that day. He convinced Bobby to allow him to enter his mind. Bobby was so depressed at that point that the thought of him doing so no longer mortified him. The Professor agreed to intercept anything Mystique might send to the mansion. Bobby agreed that a break from the X-men was probably in order until he could deal with depression.

Not long afterwards, Hank was on the phone with several different therapists, interviewing them. Dissatisfied, he headed for New York City to a local gay bookstore where he asked for a referral. A gay and lesbian hotline gave him the names and numbers of several therapists, professionals who would assist someone in acceptance and confidence.

"I tink we lost him, chere," Gambit said. "Bobby? Still wit us?"

"Huh? Oh," Bobby shook his head. "I was in the middle of a long flashback."

"Care to tell us `bout it?" Rogue asked.

Bobby took a deep breath. These people were his friends. They could be trusted. He nodded and said, "Yes, I would like to. You asked for tales of when I saved the day. I don't have any of those, but I can tell you how the Professor and Hank saved my life once." He took a deep breath and began to share his experience with Rogue and Gambit.

* * *

Storm had reached a decision. She had been mulling over it for quite some time, praying to the Goddess for advice….and she finally resolved what she planned to do. Now all she had to do was carry it out. To ask. She took a deep breath, trying to chase the butterflies out of her stomach. She felt like a school girl.

That afternoon, she eyed Wolverine off in the distance. He was sitting on a log around the campfire, carving out a toy for the babies. Instead of wearing his uniform, he had on a pair of cut offs. The warm day called for nothing more; many of the men walked around shirtless. Wolverine's broad chest was bare, his rippling muscles on display.

Storm had been taking a swim, enjoying the luxurious feel of the cool water. She emerged from the water, clad in her bathing suit. Feeling the warm sun blanketing her, she wrung out her dripping hair. Storm approached him slowly but purposefully.

"Hello, Logan," she said as she stood before him.

"Hi, Storm," he said. "You have a nice swim?"

"It was wonderful. As always." She took a deep breath. "Logan, might I have a word with you?" she looked around. Three of their teammates were within earshot. "In private?"

"Sure," he said, setting the toy and knife down. He followed Storm as she walked towards the forest.

As they walked and reached a comfortable distance from the others, Storm's pulse beat much faster than normal. `What is the worst thing that could happen?' she reminded herself. `Just a bit of embarrassment and feeling foolish. I have survived far worse.'

"What's on your mind, darlin?" Wolverine asked, when they stopped walking. They were now secluded, inside the forest. They faced each other.

"Logan, I wish to ask you something," Storm began. She took a deep breath and met his gaze. "Would you have any interest in making love with me?"

Storm had to ask him. For over a year now, she had had no close contact with any adult human beings other than the same 10. She was not attracted to any of the other women. Two of the men were taken, and one was gay. That left 4 others. Sex with Beast or the Professor was beyond her imagination. And as for Colossus? He had been Shadowcat's boyfriend for quite some time, so many years ago. Shadowcat had confided to the other women that Peter's lovemaking left a lot to be desired.

However, the 10th of her fellow castaways had quite a different reputation.

At first, Wolverine thought he had misheard her. But his senses told him what he first heard was true. He'd been able to smell her attraction to him for some time now. He'd found it arousing but he was not going to make the first move himself. Not after what she had been through, and not given how long they had been friends.

It had been so long since he'd had a woman. Just hearing Storm's proposal made all of his senses come alive with wanting-the desire to see her beautiful body open to him, feel a woman's soft skin under his rough skin, to smell and taste a woman, to hear her cries of pleasure. An image of himself in between Storm's long, long legs flashed through his mind.

Several seconds passed before he could answer. His delay in responding was not due to uncertainly about what he wanted, but rather to shock that she actually asked him. Even though he had long sensed her desire for him, he also had thought that she would never ask. For every second that passed, Storm felt more and more foolish. Unable to sense his reaction, the very calm and centered woman began to panic. `Apparently I *have* indeed made a fool of myself,' she thought. `Such is life. I will survive this embarrassment. I-' Her thoughts were interrupted.

"Yes," Wolverine said, looking into her eyes.

Storm breathed in sharply and smiled. "Yes?" she asked, just to be sure she hadn't misheard him.

"Yes," he said again, returning her smile and looking at her with a fire in his eyes that she had not seen before.

"Wonderful! I am very glad to hear that." Then the logical, business-like side of Storm took over. "I think that we have a strong friendship and this will not disrupt it. Of course, we could always try it and if it does not work out, then I am sure our friendship will continue. And I do not think we need to worry about birth control. You see, I do not think that I can conceive. When I was younger, I never became pregnant, despite that I had many chances to and I did not take precautions. Of course, if you would like, to be certain we could use some of the condoms from the supply room. That is, if Rogue and Gambit haven't depleted the supplies. And we-"

Storm was cut off when Wolverine stepped forward and covered her lips with his own. His kissing took her breath away. "How about right now?" Wolverine asked, panting as he broke the kiss off.

Storm's reply was to wrap her arms about Wolverine and kiss him with fervor. It was several hours before they emerged from the forest.

* * *

One day, the four female X-men decided to head for the forest and hold their healing ceremony there. Their meetings were becoming less and less frequent but they still held them. With Jubilee having left Aurora in the care of others, they made their way through the forest. Twigs cracked under their feet and the trees grew more dense. Strange sounds of alien birds calling in the distance could be heard. Out of the corners of their eyes, they saw small animals move swiftly away from the noisy humans.

Jean carried Charlotte in one of the baby carriers. The baby slept soundly. The four women settled in a small area that was not anywhere near any of the natives' villages and then sat in a circle.

"Well, I can't say I miss the sage burning," Rogue said.

Jean smiled at her, "Haven't we beat this dead horse enough?"

"I must insist that we invoke the Goddess," Storm said, sounding serious, though smiling. "We have no sage and no candles-only a lantern. We truly are losing any ability to claim this is a ceremony without doing so." Storm went ahead and invoked several different forms of the Goddess. Jean and Rogue, both raised Christian, tolerated Storm's pagan trappings, though they both found it a bit unusual. Jubilee was fascinated.

"Okay, I gotta start out with somethin'," Rogue began, soon after Storm had finished. "Um, this is kinda hard to talk about, but I have been dying to ask y'all about this." She paused, almost wishing she hadn't taken the bull by the horns like this. "Well, I really do love sex," she began.

"We've heard," Jean said, smiling. The women giggled. Rogue and Gambit never attempted to keep it quiet, and the whole team had pretty much just gotten used to hearing Rogue's nightly screams, encouraging Remy in his efforts.

Rogue returned their smiles, "So, um, I really do love it and all, completely. But…." She paused. Yikes, this was going to be harder to say than she thought. "But do y'all ever, say now and then, get a flashback to….what happened with the soldiers? You know, like getting a flashback during lovemaking?"

Jean returned Rogue's gaze. "Have you?"

"Hey, I asked you first!" It came out a bit harsher than Rogue had intended, and she regretted it. She then regretted even asking. Jean was going to say that everything was picture-perfect, of course. Was there ever any doubt?

"Yes," Jean admitted. "It hasn't happened a lot, but once or twice."

"It's happened to me a few times too," Rogue said. "Like, I'm with Remy but then all of a sudden….something reminds me of what, what happened and I'm back with the soldiers. And it's not Remy's fault or nothin'. But it really shakes me up."

"Our minds do things like that," Jean said. "Because what we lived through was so awful and so intense, it is embedded in our minds and images are going to pop out at times. All we can do is hope that this will cease after time. And know that our men love us very much and are understanding."

"I felt bad when it happened,'' Rogue admitted quietly. "I got all rigid and afraid. Remy was so afraid he'd done something wrong."

"Then what happened?"

"Well, we stopped what we were doin' and he just held me for a while. I cried. It actually felt good to just lay there and be rocked like a baby. It felt scary too though. I felt so much all at once."

Jean nodded. Rogue then looked at Storm and asked, "What about you, Storm? Have you experienced something like that with Wolverine yet?"

Jubilee looked quizzically at Rogue, wondering what she'd meant.

"Ooops,' Rogue said. "Uh-are you and Wolverine trying to keep it a secret?" Rogue had observed Storm and Wolverine head off to the forest together. They had been doing so quite frequently during the last two days, and Rogue was certainly not the only person to notice.

Jubilee opened her mouth as Storm smiled. "It's okay, Rogue," Storm said. "Wolverine and I are not trying to advertise it, but we're not hiding anything either." Storm looked at Jubilee. She did not need Jean's powers to know that her young mentee had been unaware of this. "Logan and I have become lovers."

Jubilee nodded mutely. Jean felt first surprise and then jealousy coming off Jubilee, so much so that it shocked the telepath. Jubilee had been so wrapped up in swimming and playing with Aurora that she hadn't noticed Storm and Wolverine's trips to the forest.

"But to answer your question, Rogue," Storm said, "I have not yet had any flashbacks during sex. I know it might be possible, though. We're only human. Sometimes our brains do nasty things to us." Storm never shared her occasional nightmares with the other women. She couldn't explain why she did not do so. She loved and trusted all of them. `But it's better they don't see that side,' she told herself. 'I am their leader, after all.'

Rogue nodded. "You're right. And these flashbacks haven't happened too much, thank goodness. But I also gotta say that I love sex. It is so incredibly amazin`!"

Storm smiled. "I must agree."

Rogue looked at Storm. You didn't often see Storm grinning like a school girl. Rogue smiled and got a devilish look in her eyes. "Okay, I'm gonna ask you, Storm and you just tell me if I'm bein too nosy….Is he good?"

Storm's smile widened. "It is not appropriate to gossip, of course. But, as always, what the four of us say here, stays here. So I will say only that," she paused and then said slowly, "Wolverine is *wonderful*." Storm herself had been surprised at how well they'd clicked. And she'd been having trouble keeping her mind on the workings of the engines for 6 hours a day. As soon as she came out of her meetings, she sought him out, and he wanted her. Wolverine was very, very good. He could be gentle and tender, when she wanted it-and when she wanted him to be more aggressive and animalistic, he could be that way too. He was eager to please and his mutant healing factor could not come in any handier.

Jean couldn't stop herself, but she entered Storm's mind and saw all the exciting images that were swimming through it right now. `Jean, stop it right now,' she told herself. `You have everything you need.' She wanted to argue with herself that she was merely being curious, but she knew there was just a bit more to it than that.

When Jean had first sensed Storm and Wolverine's liaison though, her main reaction had been relief. Let it take Wolverine's mind off his interest in Jean, and his jealousy over the bond that she and Scott, and now their baby, had. It was much better this way.

Rogue then went on to thank the other women for encouraging her to get back with Gambit. "I'm happier than I ever been in my whole life," she said. "I think bein touched is the most incredible feeling, and I really love it."

Jubilee crossed her arms. She spoke for the first time at their meeting. "I'm jealous!" Her three teammates turned to her. "Of all of you! I want someone too. I want to experience what you're talking about."

"Jubilee," Jean began, softly.

"What!" Jubilee flung her arms, exasperated. "I want a boyfriend too! I don't have anyone. And goddamn Bobby Drake! Why the hell does he have to be gay? If he was straight then I wouldn't have this problem. It's not fair!"

"Jubilee, I'm sure Bobby doesn't have any more say over that than we have over being mutants," Storm said.

"Don't take it out on him," Jean added. "He's been such a good friend to you. To all of us."

"I know," she said, glumly. "But look at us. At the rate we're going, we're not getting out of here anytime soon. And there's no one available for me."

"What about Colossus?" Rogue asked. "Maybe…um, his technique has improved and all." This had been discussed at length among the women during previous "girls' nights out" back at the mansion, back before the FOH attack. Shadowcat had been part of the group, of course, and had mentioned that her ex-boyfriend was not exactly amazing in bed. Rogue wasn't saying anything that the others had not already heard first-hand from Kitty.

"I don't know, Rogue," Storm said. "From what Shadowcat said, I do not think he would be good for your first time, Jubilee," she said, looking at the young woman.

"I know. I remember what Kitty said," Jubilee said.

"Though it *is* always possible he's improved," Storm added.

"I'm not really attracted to him, though," Jubilee said.

Rogue shrugged. "He does paint some nice paintings though," she said. Peter had been expanding his interest in painting and drawing, and was frequently availing himself of the supplies in the storage room. One of his best works hung in the rec room, It was a depiction of the waterfall not far from the X-men's first campsite on the planet, where Bobby and Jubilee had lunch together once.

Jean smiled, "But wait, we're all acting like we're going to be here forever. Scott said you guys have been making progress with the engines."

"Oh, we have," Storm said. "I think we can be off this planet in a few months. But-"

"But then what?" Jubilee asked. "So we travel back to earth. I am looking forward to finding out what's been going on there, but I really doubt that things have gotten any better for mutants. I'd be shocked if we're all not still wanted dead or alive for killing the soldiers. So we probably are not going to be able to return. I'm never going to see another man other than the ones we have here!" she exclaimed.

Storm started to console Jubilee, telling her that one day she would have someone of her own, when she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

"What is it?" Jean asked, observing Storm tense up.

"I believe we are not alone," Storm said. "Did you see-"

Suddenly, a large animal charged at the women. In the split second that she saw it, to Jubilee it loosely resembled a bear. A large one. The X-men had only a split second to react. Rogue saw the animal heading towards Jean, and she quickly scooped Jean and the baby up in her arms, and flew upwards. Jubilee and Storm each stood up, Storm preparing to summon winds to push the animal away and Jubilee preparing to flash lights at it. However in the blink of an eye, the animal pounced on Jubilee.

As the winds summoned by Storm arose, Rogue deposited Jean and the baby in a tree before darting down towards the animal and Jubilee. She used her strength to pry the beast off of Jubilee. The winds then carried it away.

* * *

I was so freaked out when I saw what had happened. I think over the past few months, we'd all gone into the forest so many times without incident, we all just got careless. I later heard that Jubilee had been flown to the ship by Storm as soon as they got the bear (or whatever it was) away from them.

Jubilee was going to be alright, thank goodness. The animal's claws scratched her chest and shoulders. She had one gash that was pretty deep, but the others were not. Hank worked his magic on her in sick bay. He said she'd likely have scars, but otherwise would be alright.

"You gotta take better care of yourself, kid," I teased, sitting next to her in sick bay and holding her hand. I was one of a steady stream of visitors she had.

"Yeah, who knew I'd need healing from the healing ceremony!" she joked. I smiled. Last time Jubilee had an extended stay in sick bay, her mood had been quite different. I was reminded of that and then so glad to see her old spunk hadn't gone anywhere.

Colossus and I were charged with setting up sensors around the camp so that we'd know if any large animals were approaching or even in the area. We spent the rest of the day working on that and were quiet pleased that we'd done a good job by day's end.

* * *

"It was so close," Jean mused, tracing one of Charlotte's hands. She marveled at the smooth, tiny fingers.

"Thank god the two of you are safe," Scott murmured. He and Jean were laying down on the floor of their tent, their baby in between them. They didn't want to wake the sleeping infant, but it was hard for either one of them to keep their hands off of her. She was so perfect, their little miracle.

"I wonder if we're getting too…soft," Jean whispered. "`Soft' isn't the right word, but you know what I mean. We've let our guard down. I think all of us have, and that's why we were caught off-guard in the forest."

"I think it's only natural that the group has relaxed like this. We've spent the last 5 or 6 months on this planet."

"And as much as we might train in the Danger Room, it's not the same thing. Up until now, we've spent the last 15 years battling everyone from the Sentinels to Magneto to FOH. We had no rest for all those years. But we're so removed from that now."

"We spent so much of our lives fighting," Scott said. "You and I, my love, are very peaceful people. We can't help but to be enjoying life here." He paused, "Our lives back on earth almost feel like a dream."

"It feels that way to me, too, Scott."

Scott's eyes looked back down at Charlotte. Her red hair was gone now. He wondered what color hair would replace it. Her eyes were bright blue. Would someday lasers shoot uncontrollably out of them? Would she be forced into wearing a visor? What would her mutation look like? Hank had recently performed a test on her, confirming that she was, indeed, a mutant. No surprise there.

Scott shook his head. "We have so much more to lose now," he said quietly. "If life for mutants on earth is even worse now…..if we're forced into fighting our enemies like we used to…." His voice trailed off.

"I know," Jean said. "We've got her now," she said, looking down at Charlotte. "She needs us. Risking our lives in combat is suddenly….much scarier than it ever has been."

"She could even be taken from us someday…used as blackmail."

"Can you imagine if Sinister ever got his hands on her?" Jean shook her head. "Knowing his luck, he's survived the Friends of Humanity."

Hearing the words "Friends of Humanity" brought a chill down Scott's spine, and his thoughts went to a place he wished they hadn't.

/I know,/ Jean's thoughts entered Scott's. /If *they* ever got their hands on her…./

They didn't continue their discussion at that point. Charlotte woke up soon afterwards, and Jean nursed her baby.

* * *

Later that evening, the sounds of lovemaking could be heard throughout the camp, for anyone who was listening. Scott and Jean kissed deeply, his mouth covering hers as he thrust deep inside her. Jean's breasts spurted breast milk, which Scott would later lap up. Rogue and Gambit, meanwhile, were experiencing their own ecstasy. They lay side by side, facing each other but head to toe. She was licking him up and down, letting him thrust inside her mouth as his expert fingers reached around and rubbed her in exactly the right way. She later mounted him, riding him to their mutual peak. And as for Storm and Wolverine, they had found their rhythm as partners quickly. That evening they lay together in the forest. They were still within the bounds of the area that was now protected by sensors. Neither was willing to give up making love outdoors, surrounded by the trees, the fresh air, the birds flying overhead. Storm was on her back with Wolverine in between her legs, using his lips and tongue on her, delighting in her womanly taste and scent. Later, she perched on her hands and knees and he entered her from behind, driving them both to numerous, intense climaxes.

Afterwards, each couple cuddled up together. All of them were feeling pleasure and contentment in each fiber of their bodies, from their heads to their toes.

* * *

Jubilee, Hank and I were laying together on the beach after a good swim one day. (Colossus had agreed to supervise Aurora, as he worked on a painting back at the campsite.) The three of us stretched out on a blanket. Replicated sunglasses protected us from the glare of the sun overhead, as Hank fished a seaweed-like substance out of his fur.

"Bobby, I think that either you or I is gonna be spending a lot of time brushing out Hank later on today," Jubilee said. A quick glance at our adored friend revealed copious amounts of sand on his coat. Hank smiled.

"I dunno, Jube," I said, shaking my head. "How is it that he gets so much sand on his fur? Last I remember we were swimming. Then we decide to lay down here. I didn't see Hank * crawling* to the blanket, yet he's got sand everywhere except on his feet. How do you do it, Hank? Did you roll around in sand while we weren't looking?"

"I do not know, Bobby. But the sand is very tenacious. If either of you want to be so kind as to provide me assistance later on, I would appreciate it."

"Anytime!" Jubilee said. "Do you want to do it now?"

"No, my friend. The engineering team is meeting again in 2 hours and I want to lay down here and enjoy this, " Hank said.

"So how's it going?" I asked. "The engineering work?"

"We are making progress. We have a good sense of what needs to be done and we are doing it. It simply is very slow-going work."

"Well, I think you guys are right to go about it slowly," Jubilee said. "You don't want to be making a mistake."

"Exactly."

"Okay, I gotta gossip now," Jubilee said, abruptly changing the direction of the conversation towards more interesting topics. Well, more interesting for me anyway. Hank frowned. Gossip remained one of my vices, and one of Jubilee's too. "So what is the deal with Storm and Wolverine?"

"I wonder about that myself," I said. By now, everyone knew. Something like this could not be kept quiet for more than a few days.

"Are they like, in love? Or are they doing it just cause they're horny?"

I shrugged. "I gotta think that they're not exactly in love. I mean, they've had years to fall in love if that was ever going to happen. So maybe they're doing it more for a relieving-a-physical-need type thing."

"Well, did you notice how often they're going at it? I saw them slip off into that forest twice yesterday, and that was just during the day."

"Yeah, Storm did return to our tent really late last night," I added.

"You were up at that hour?"

I nodded

"I guess it's working out nicely for them," Jubilee said.

"Why Jubilee," I began, grinning, "you almost sound jealous."

"Shut up, Bobby."

"Well, are you?"

"Shut up, Bobby!"

I looked at Hank. "I bet you're disgusted with the turn our conversation has taken," I said to him.

"`Disgusted' is a little strong," Hank said, "However, I will not participate in gossip."

"You will *listen*, though," I said to him, smiling.

Hank didn't reply except to return my smile. "I will say that I am only human and a break from reading about and working on engines is a healthy thing. Please, go on and do not worry about what I'm thinking. Just do not be offended if I decline to join in."

"Cool." I turned back towards Jubilee. "You can't exactly blame them, Jubilee," I said. "Making love can be a really incredible thing, and it is hard to go for so long without it. It's been too long for me. If another gay guy were to somehow magically appear, I think at this point I'd pounce on him!"

Jubilee laughed at the thought of me doing so. She then turned serious. "Can I ask you, Bobby….have you ever done it with a woman?" She paused, "Oh, sorry if that was too personal and all. You can just tell me to shut up."

"I don't mind answering. I did have a girlfriend. I had a few, actually. In fact, Hank remembers, I'm sure, that I dated a fellow X-man named Lorna for a while during my first life with the X-men. Her code name was Polaris." I paused, "But, you see, I'm not proud of what I did. It was wrong of me."

"What was wrong?"

"I wasn't honest with her. I mean, I knew I was gay. I've known ever since I was like 12 or 13. I don't know what I was thinking when I dated Lorna. I was just so mixed up back then….I did it partly hoping that maybe I wasn't really gay. But I knew I was. I did really like Lorna, though. I liked her company, and she liked mine." I paused. "But I did it mostly for cover. So no one would suspect the truth about me." I looked at Jubilee. "See, it was really terrible of me to use another person like that. I feel awful about it, and if I ever saw her today, I would apologize."

"But so….you and Lorna were, you know, lovers? I mean, so like you could do it with a woman?"

I smiled. "Well, yeah. But I didn't really enjoy it too much. It was like a chore. I think I'd rather clean the garage or iron clothes than have sex with a woman again." I looked over at Hank and he stifled a laugh at my last comment. "No offense," I quickly added at Jubilee. "It just isn't my thing, nothing against women though."

I continued, "And Lorna didn't like it either because I was terrible at it. Horrible." I smiled. "Let's just say that Lorna never woke up other people in the middle of the night by screaming-" I switched to a Southern accent, "-YES, BOBBY, MORE MORE MORE, YES YES YES, BOBBY OH MY GOD BOBBY."

Jubilee and I broke out in laughter at my imitation of Rogue. Apparently it was quite good - Hank even laughed. Colossus was working not too far from us, and he looked over In our direction, probably wondering what was going on.

* * *

The engineering team repaired the engines. I must say their timing was excellent. We spent a few more months on the planet so we were able to enjoy the summer. We all spent many days laying on the beach, swimming, and playing volleyball. We replicated a frisbee and it's amazing how much fun we got out of that disk. I'd say just around the time it all started to get a bit tedious, the Professor told us one day at lunch that they were close to being finished. The team redoubled their efforts, and only a couple weeks passed before our engines and cloaking device were repaired.

Even though spending all day at the beach was getting a bit tedious, we still had other things to do to entertain ourselves. Hank and Jean both wrote a lot of poetry, which they would read to us after dinner as we all sat around the campfire or in the rec room. (Sometimes we all slept outside; however, when it got too hot, many of us preferred the air conditioned ship.) Colossus was doing a lot of painting. His favorites were landscapes-nature scenes. His works began to adorn the rec room, and they were all quite good. And I was so pleased to see the rec room looking more festive. Wolverine had a new hobby too-sculpture. He replicated the materials he needed and worked away at it. He made a nice likeness of Storm's head and shoulders. The man was good at working with his hands. (Of course, in my fantasies, his hands are on me, not Storm. : )

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the vegetables I'd begun growing had been producing food for several months now. Most of them were kinda dinky, but everyone told me they were delicious. They really were more flavorful than the food from the replicators. Jubilee and I spent a lot of time keeping up the garden, planting and tending to more vegetables.

But the best entertainment probably came from watching the babies develop. We all saw Aurora as she progressed to being able to sit up and turn over.

In fact, a good way to track the passage of time was by watching Aurora and Charlotte progress. Rory was 6 months old (and Charlotte nearly 3 months) when we were ready for take off. So we'd spent a total of 7 months on the planet, or 8 if you count the one month we spent on "vacation", on the other continent, before we'd crashed. So if Aurora was 6 months old, then a total of one year and three months had passed since the Friends of Humanity abducted us.

It had all passed too quickly for me. Except for the days we spent as prisoners, these were definitely the best months of my life up till this point.

* * *

Our take-off was smooth and uneventful. The magnetic field storms were not set to start up again for 5 weeks, so we knew we were safe. And by the time we left, I think everyone-including Wolverine-was ready to go.

"Goodbye, planet," Jean said wistfully, looking out one of the windows in engineering soon after we took off.

I silently hoped that the kind natives we met would stay well. I looked over Jean's shoulder and watched the planet grow smaller and smaller. It was a blue and green planet, resembling earth in many ways. What a beautiful place it had been.

* * *

One morning, Rogue and Gambit were slowly waking up together. As usual, most of the rest of the team was in the process of eating breakfast or already finished. Rogue and Gambit could never be called early birds. Each had been awake for a while but were simply enjoying taking their time to rise from bed.

Gambit's arms were wrapped around his girlfriend. "Dis gonna take some gettin' used to, chere," Gambit murmured. He and Rogue were both clad in sweatpants and sweatshirts. All of the dilithium-saving actions were fully in place on board the ship, and the cold temperature of the vessel did not allow one to sleep unclothed-especially not if one hailed from an area with warm temperatures, as both Rogue and Gambit did.

"What is?" Rogue asked.

"We can't go take a walk outside anymore. We back in space now."

"Oh yeah. Tomorrow-I mean-today will only be our first *full* day back in space."

"Gambit's use' to goin outside an takin a walk after we wake up in de morning with you, chere. And Gambit use' to nice warm weather, not this freezin' cold ship."

"We'll get used to this again."

"Course we get use' to dis," Gambit said. "As long as we have each other, Gambit don't care where we are or how cold it get on the ship." He nuzzled his face in her unruly hair, breathing in her scent. "You so beautiful, chere. You the most beautiful woman dat Gambit ever touch."

"Wow, Remy, that's quite a statement, given how many women I must've beaten out for that honor," Rogue chuckled. "And I don't *want* to know how many there were before me!"

Gambit was glad. He didn't really know how many there had been before Rogue. "Dey don't matter no more. I never been in love with anyone like I love you."

"You're my first lover, Remy. My first love and my first lover."

"Remy is very honored to be your first, chere. Very, very honored."

Rogue turned to face him, to give him a kiss. Their lips met and they enjoyed a long kiss.

But both Rogue and Gambit forgot that she was not wearing a collar.

TO BE CONTINUED


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

I was sitting in sick bay, eating breakfast with Cyclops, Jean, and Storm. Cyke and Jean had their baby with them, though she was sound asleep in the carrier that was placed next to the table. All of us sudden, we hear Rogue shouting, "I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM!"

As we exchanged looks of shock, the door to sickbay slid aside. Rogue was carrying Gambit in her arms. Her hair was disheveled; it looked as if she'd been sleeping. Gambit was unconscious. Rogue's eyes looked insane, her skin had gone pale.

We leapt up off our seats as soon as we assessed the situation. Rogue handed Gambit to Cyclops, as if she couldn't wait to get him out of her arms. Cyclops carried the tall, lanky man to the nearest bed. Rogue continued screaming, "I KILLED HIM!" as Cyke reached for one of Gambit's wrists.

"He's alive," Jean said, her eyes closed. "I sense it."

Scott confirmed it. "There is a pulse."

As Storm spoke into her communicator to summon Hank, Rogue slumped against a shelf, obviously stunned with relief. The shelf lit up as she inadvertently charged it, the way Gambit can charge objects. "Stand back!" she called.

Jean grabbed Charlotte in time to move her far away from the shelf before it exploded.

"Rogue, be careful! Don't touch anything. You don't know how to control the charging like Gambit does." Jean said. I don't think Jean intended for her voice to sound as harsh as it did. She clutched her baby, who was now crying from the explosion and chaos in the room. Jean then spoke baby talk to Charlotte, trying to calm her down. Scott joined her.

Rogue stood, hugging her arms to herself. I noticed tears streaming down her face, and her body seemed to shake. I wanted to go over and give her a hug, but she didn't look like she'd be all that receptive to one.

Hank rushed into the room, and directly over to Gambit. He pushed a few buttons, bringing the medical equipment on-line. "He's in a coma," Hank reported after scanning Gambit with the equipment. "Do not panic," he added, as his fingers worked away, pressing buttons on various pieces of equipment. "I think it is possible that he can recover from this," he said, his eyes fixed to a monitor. "At this point, it is too early to say with certainty though."

Rogue sobbed openly. I again felt an urge to comfort her, but her appearance scared me and she looked as if she would lash out at anyone who approached her. Storm, however, was undaunted. She approached Rogue with her arms outstretched.

"Get away from me!" Rogue screamed. "I'm dangerous!"

"No, Rogue," Storm said, her voice soothing. "You are not dangerous. Everything will be alright." She continued to say words to those effect. She advised Rogue to take a few deep breaths. I noticed Rogue starting to calm down a bit. The two women left the infirmary, Storm with her arm around her younger teammate.

Hank continued to tend to Gambit. I stayed in the infirmary for most of the day, but I hung back to give Hank the room he needed. We all did. By the end of the day, the prognosis was that Gambit probably could recover, but we did not know when. The medical equipment on the ship was good and we kept Gambit under constant supervision.

* * *

"I'm poison," Rogue said, in between sobs. "I'm disgusting."

"Don't ever say such words," Storm said, holding her friend in her arms. They sat in Storm's room. As Rogue shed more tears, Storm reached for a box of tissues. "You are a beautiful, wonderful person and I will not hear you say otherwise about yourself! We all love you and cherish you. I will not hear a loved one of mine call herself `poison.'"

Storm paused, and then added, "You heard what Beast said. Gambit is alive."

"He's in a coma! My god, he's in a coma and I put him there!"

"The medical equipment this ship is excellent, and Hank is a wonderful doctor. Gambit could not be in better hands."

"But I can't believe that I put him in a coma!"

"It was an accident, Rogue."

"Of course it was an accident. But I let my guard down." Rogue looked down at her hands. They had ceased shaking. Rogue had gotten a hold of the power she absorbed from Gambit; she now knew how to refrain from charging every item she touched. "How could I have let my guard down like that?" She shook her head. "We usually sleep with the collar on. I have been taking it off on colder nights when we sleep fully dressed since we figure we ain't gonna be touching skin to skin then. It was freezing cold on the ship last night. Gambit and I both planned to sleep fully dressed since we were so cold, and I thought I'd be safe. But when we woke up this morning….I just forgot. The collar has become like a second skin to me and I been forgetting when I have it on or not."

"It's okay, Rogue," Storm said, placing one arm around her friend. "We all forget things on occasion."

"But Storm, it ain't alright! This ain't like forgettin' your manners or where you put your car keys! I could have killed Remy. My god, I could have killed him," she repeated. New, hot tears appeared on her cheeks.

"But you didn't. He is alive. This will simply remind you to be more cautious next time."

"If there is a next time. If he ever wakes from this coma." Rogue reached for another tissue and blew her nose. "Storm, sometimes I feel like I got passed feelin sorry for myself and angry at the world over this. Over being born with….this way. But now I just feel that all over again."

"I am confident that you will recover from feeling this way. Our special powers are gifts, not curses. I know that deep down you understand this." Storm paused. "Gambit will recover and in no time you will forget ever feeling this way."

* * *

We sat down for dinner together in the infirmary. First thing, Hank was asked for an update on Gambit. It had been the only thing on our minds since it happened, of course and we'd all been in and out of sick bay to check up on him all day. Hank said there was not much to update on. Gambit remained in a coma. He thought Remy had a good chance of recovering. "Medical literature indicates that people in comas do recover faster when someone sits with them, holds their hand and talks to them," Hank added.

Rogue got up from the table and sat next to Gambit's prone form. I think she had spent the day crying with Storm, but whatever Storm said, it got her to take action. She held his hand (with her gloves on, of course) and talked to him. I do not think Rogue left his side because when I went to the infirmary for breakfast the next morning, she was still there and she looked as if she hadn't slept a wink.

My admiration of Storm, by the way, just continued to grow all the time. I know whatever Storm had said to Rogue that morning had kept Rogue from totally losing it.

Once we got an update on Gambit, we discussed the course of the ship and our journey. "We are heading back towards earth, as you all know," the Professor said. "We decided to take a slightly different course, however." I knew the 'we' he spoke of was himself, Cyclops and Storm. They had met shortly after our successful take-off to discuss the particulars of our journey.

Cyclops continued for him, "We set our course so that we'll travel through different solar systems than the ones we passed on our way here. We plan to continue to search for dilithium. Even though we have enough to power us for nearly seven years, we could always use more. We thought that made the most sense, since in all likelihood we will continue to need this ship after we return to earth."

"Just to make sure I get it," Jubilee began, "when you say `return to earth', we're not talking about like landing there or going back to live there, are we?"

"Not at all," Storm said. "We know we will need to be very cautious. We plan to fly near earth-remaining cloaked, of course. Once we get close enough that we can monitor the news, we will take a look at the situation for mutants."

"A lot can change in 15 months," Cyclops said. "Life for mutants might be better and it might be worse. FOH's power on earth might have increased, or-for all we know-they've been discredited and are losing support. However, we are preparing for the worst, which would mean that we would need to continue to make this ship our home and we'll be unable to live on earth."

Nods were exchanged. We all knew and understood what Cyke and Storm were saying; it had been discussed by the group before and wasn't surprising to anyone.

"If, by some chance, things have gotten better for mutants-then what?" Jubilee asked. "I mean, I really doubt they have gotten better. But you never know."

"If that is the case," the Professor said, "we will all sit down together and discuss where to go from here."

"We do have plenty of time before we will know," Storm said. "We're travelling at one of the slower speeds now, to save dilithium. Given that our route back to earth is somewhat roundabout, we do not expect to be back near earth until 7 months at the earliest."

"I would love to be able to learn how my family back on earth is doing," Jean mused.

"I wonder about Alpha Flight," I said. "I sure hope there might be some way we can find out what happened to Jeanne Marie, Northstar and Shaman. If they're still alive," I added, glumly. I knew that everyone had considered their mission to return to their loved ones a suicide mission. My logical side knew the chances of them having made it back to earth alive and in one piece were slim to none. But I thought of the three of them often and hoped against hope that they were well. Marie's report, I think, will always haunt me, and I suspect I'm not the only X-man who feels that way.

Several at the table expressed agreement with me. The Professor added, "I wonder about those X-men who were not staying at the mansion with us at the time of attack. Psylocke and Angel were in England." He paused, "And of course I am eager to hear anything about Moira and her family."

We continued to muse about these people who had touched our lives. We segued into talking about some of the X-men who had died in the final battle with FOH. I didn't know all of these people well, but during the past 15 months, I had heard so much about such X-men as Nightcrawler and Shadowcat. I wish I had known them better.

* * *

"How's she doing, darlin'?" Wolverine asked Storm. Storm was entering his room, having just returned from the infirmary to check in on Rogue and Gambit.

"I believe she will be alright," Storm said, walking up to where Wolverine sat on the bed. "Once she got over the original shock, she reached a stage where I could get through to her." Storm sat next to Wolverine. "Rogue has come a long way, emotionally, over the last few years." She sighed. "I just pray that Gambit will recover."

"He's tough," Wolverine said. "He's survived much worse than this. He'll make it."

"I dearly hope you are right." Storm had always been close to Gambit.

Wolverine reached a hand towards his lover and stroked one of her shoulders. Storm closed her eyes, sighing comfortably. She then verbalized her thoughts. "You have wonderful hands. Such talented hands." She then turned her head towards him and asked, "Shall we?"

He pulled her towards him. "It won't be the same as making love outdoors, darlin.'" This would be their first time sleeping together on board the ship, as they had not done so the previous night.

"It will still be good, Logan. Don't you agree?"

"Of course." Wolverine pulled Storm into a kiss. She no longer had to fight feelings that she and Wolverine were committing incest. Her lips hungrily met his, eagerly thrusting her tongue inside his mouth.

After enjoying the delicious sensations for a while, Storm broke off the kiss. She reached her hands around to touch his shoulders and upper arms. His muscular, toned body excited her so. Storm's fingers crept slowly down towards his chest. She played with the hair on his chest, running her fingers through it. "My wild man," she murmured. He smiled, content to allow her to take the lead this time. She had a magical touch which never failed to rouse him. Her fingers traveled over Wolverine's nipples, pausing to tweak one and then squeeze the other. When they first had become lovers, she had been stunned to learn how sensitive his nipples were. He let out a deep moan of appreciation.

Storm smiled. "I know you wish to go faster, my wild man," she said. It had, after all, been over 48 hours now. She knew that generally he liked to go at it quickly, and then afterwards slow down to tenderly and slowly make love to Storm.

He shook his head. "I'm enjoyin' this, darlin. If you wanna go slow, then we go slow."

"There is something I would really like to do, Logan," she whispered. "Would you lay back a little?"

Storm coaxed Wolverine into a prone position. She kissed her way down to his groin, nuzzling against her cheek the coarse hair that adorned his body. She then reached his already rigid cock. Storm licked and sucked his hard length. She delighted in his masculine taste and scent, as she took him inside her mouth. One of her hands was at the base of his cock, the other still playing with his chest hair as her mouth drove him wild.

After some time, Wolverine stopped his thrusting. "Time we change places, darlin. I want to taste you."

Storm looked up. "We can do that another time, my lover. I do see the wisdom in going quickly at times. I want you inside of me right now."

She mounted Wolverine, straddling his form. She noted that his eyes were half-lidded with undisguised pleasure. Storm smiled, looked up, and said, "Thank you, Mother Goddess for this moment and for giving us this wondrous gift."

Wolverine groaned loudly. Storm looked back down at him and slowly lowered herself. She began to thrust up and down. He filled her so well, and she loved the view of his chest and shoulders, and his face which was plastered with sweat.

He thrust his hips, meeting her each time she plunged down. Wolverine grabbed her full breasts, which hung above him like tempting fruit. He lightly squeezed the soft flesh. He then pinched her nipples, gently at first, but then more vigorously when her cries told him to do so. Wolverine then cupped both her breasts and craned his head up so he could suckle the flesh. Pressing her erect breasts together, he inserted both of her nipples into his mouth and drew on both of the hard nubs at once. Storm's thrusting grew more vigorous. "Oh Goddess…." she breathed.

He felt his climax approaching as Storm's moans increased in volume. She bounced on top of him with increasing vigor, the movement of her hips becoming more and more frantic. Her body then was overcome with the divine sensations and she felt waves and waves of pleasure overtake her. Wolverine followed her, his cock spurting his salty load inside her.

Moments later, Storm was resting, laying on top of her lover's chest. She felt her breathing return to normal. She then looked over at Logan….and her eyes traveled downwards to his member. He was becoming stiff again. Storm smiled.

"Again, Logan?" she asked.

"God, yes. Anytime."

Storm fought to keep from grinning like a schoolgirl. He could go all night, as she well knew. Usually, that suited her just fine-she could go all night too.

Wolverine shifted their positions, so that he now was on top of her. His heart rate sped up, liking the fact that he would be in charge for this bout. His hands caressed her body, traveling down towards her very warm and very wet core. "You said I'd get a turn to take a taste you, Ororo," he reminded Storm as his fingers brushed over her public hair.

She smiled invitingly. She spread her legs wide, prepared to welcome the attentions of his lips and tongue. He was so incredibly good. As she had many times now, Storm silently thanked the Goddess for giving her the courage she had needed to invite Logan to her bed.

* * *

Gambit was still in sick bay, a week after the incident. He remained in a coma. Rogue maintained her vigil over him constantly. Whenever I looked in, she was there. She was always there. I'm guessing she took breaks to take a shower, and I did see her eat a few times, but she basically slept, ate, and lived at his side. She held his hand and talked to him non-stop.

There's one thing that I really wonder about. I assume that when Rogue absorbed Gambit's powers, she also absorbed a lot of (all of?) his memories. At least, that's how I heard it works. And we all kinda knew Gambit didn't exactly have the most pristine past. I kept wondering if she'd learned any of his deep, dark secrets or if she now knew something that changed how she felt about Gambit. But if that were the case, it sure wasn't detectable, at least not by me. She remained by his side, tenderly stroking his face and arm. Who knows-maybe what she learned about him made her love him even more?

I also noticed that she now tended to always have a deck of cards in her hands and she habitually shuffled and reshuffled them.

Anyway, we all joined Rogue in keeping Gambit company. Each and every member of the team spent some time sitting with and talking to Gambit every day.

The Professor and Jean discussed using their powers on him. They told us that basically Gambit was in a deep coma-his mind was fine, but "locked away", so to speak. It was his physical body that was causing the problem. I know the Professor and Jean both had several intense sessions with Gambit, hoping to draw forth his consciousness to expedite his physical healing. Unfortunately, it did not seem to do any good.

We all wished Shaman were here to help.

Although Gambit's situation was not improving, at least we had good news on another front. Less than a week after we began our journey back towards earth, we encountered an uninhabited moon that had tons of dilithium. The moon was completely barren and lifeless, so we had no qualms about taking the dilithium. Using our transporter for the better part of a day, we filled engineering with the substance. By the end of the day, our total dilithium supply jumped to enough to last us over 12 years! We made sure that we wrote down the address of that moon so we could return as need be.

I think we would have celebrated this, except that everyone was depressed about Gambit. I sat in the rec room with Jean, Wolverine, and Jubilee one day, shortly after we acquired our dilithium.

"Poor Rogue," Jubilee said. "She never leaves sick bay." Aurora was in her baby carrier, sleeping soundly at her mother's feet and oblivious to the turmoil that was occurring on board the ship. Charlotte was with her father and grandfather.

"She did yesterday," Wolverine said. "I got her to fight with me in the Danger Room. She did a damn fine job too."

"She is holding up better than I thought," Jean said. "Storm has been talking to her, as well, which is helping." Jean paused, "Storm is so good with this kind of thing."

After a lull in the conversation, I spoke up. "I dunno if I'm being too optimistic," I began, "but I just haven't thought of….of the fact that we might not get him back. What I'm saying, I mean, is that I think he's going to recover." I didn't say it out loud, but there was something influencing why I felt that way. I really had felt anxiety that over Jubilee's pregnancy-I feared she wasn't going to survive the actual birth. It had been long and painful, but Jubilee had come out of it just fine. Besides, look at everything else we survived on board this ship. Heck, look at everything the X-men had survived over the years. Could something as small as this really kill Gambit? I just didn't believe it could be.

Jean might have detected my thoughts. She nodded, "I know what you mean, Bobby. I, too, am having a hard time believing that Gambit might not recover. The X-men have survived so many impossible situations over the years. Who knows how many life-threatening situations Gambit escaped from before this. But," she paused, "we do need to keep in mind the worst….Some people remain in comas for months, or even years."

"Do we know how long she actually touched him before….before this happened?" Jubilee asked.

Jean nodded. "Rogue didn't quite remember herself, but the Professor searched her mind. It was only a matter of seconds."

"Didn't Rogue once say that the first boy she kissed was in a coma for three weeks? So maybe it will just be a few weeks for Gambit, too?" Jubilee asked, sounding hopeful.

Jean shrugged. "It's possible but we simply don't know. All I think we can do is hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Seriously. This could be a lot worse than it looks now."

Our conversation was doing nothing to uplift the mood. We all kinda sat there, exchanging looks. Even Wolverine looked concerned, and I knew he and Gambit were not exactly best friends. He was closer to Rogue though, and I knew he had to be worried for her.

After some time, Aurora woke from her nap and began to cry. It actually was a good tension breaker for those of us sitting in the rec room. Jean and Jubilee got to talking about different aspects of parenthood. Wolverine and I listened, though we didn't have much first hand experience to contribute.

Although I did know that Wolverine loved playing "Uncle" with Charlotte as much as he did with Aurora. I once saw him sitting in the rec room next to Cyclops and his baby. Wolverine had actually asked Scott if he could hold Charlotte for a bit (the fact that he asked surprised me some), and Scott gave her over to him. Wolverine had gotten that enchanted look in his eyes and I am sure he would've started cooing at the baby had Scott (and I) not been there. The two men had actually looked like two friends sitting there. I mused that they might never be best buddies, but it seemed like they had at least called a truce and were putting up with each other.

Anyway, back to that afternoon in the rec room, I do recall some interesting tidbits from Jean and Jubilee's conversation about babies and motherhood. Jean said that she and Scott had a scare one day, when Scott was holding the baby, and Charlotte grabbed his visor! "Fortunately," Jean said, "Scott is kind of used to being prepared to close his eyes, and he did so. But we have to be careful. Charlotte seems to want to grab everything."

Jubilee asked Jean if she and Cyclops wanted another baby.

"We're definitely having another one," Jean said. I noticed Wolverine's interest in the conversation seemed to have been rekindled; he was clearly listening at this point. "You know, for years and years we kept putting off having a baby until `things get better'. I think having Charlotte was one of the best things we ever did. We realized things may never get better and we can't wait forever. And we both love being parents. Scott and I do want a total of two children, and we're thinking to start trying to have another one when Charlotte is just a bit older." Jean paused. "Ideally, I'd like them to be no more than two years apart, but of course I realize that we need to take what we're given. We know that the best laid plans don't always work….but this is what we want."

"Do you want just two, or do you think maybe three?" I asked.

"Two is a good number," Jean said. "We agreed to stop at two, whether the second one is a boy or girl."

"I bet three babies would be a lot of work," I said. I quickly added, "Not that two isn't."

"I dunno if I ever want to go through childbirth again," Jubilee mused, shaking her head. "It was really painful and scary. To this day, I'd say it was way worse than I ever dreamed it would've been."

"You made it, though, kid," Wolverine said. "You're one tough kid."

"Woman!" Jubilee said. "I'm a woman, not a kid anymore. Sheesh, I must be twenty-one by now!"

Wolverine smiled, though he looked surprised too. "Twenty-one, huh? How the years have flown by. But you'll always be a kid to me, darlin.'"

Jubilee didn't reply, though I must say she didn't look to happy with his words. I think Wolverine was really trying to pay her a compliment by reminding her that she "toughed out" the childbirth experience, but his good intentions were lost as she only heard the "kid" part.

Jean nodded in Wolverine's direction. "You are very strong, Jubilee. Thank goodness you and Aurora both came out of it healthy."

Jubilee smiled, "There was a point there where I feared it wasn't going to happen that way." She paused, looking at Jean. "Your childbirth went much smoother."

"It was. I used my powers to help dull some of the pain. But it wasn't just that….I felt empowered giving birth. I feel like after going through that, I can survive anything. Like I have a better handle on my abilities and my limits. It was the sort of challenge I liked. I do want to do it again." She paused. "I'm sorry you didn't have that experience, Jubilee."

Jubilee shrugged. "Hey, as you said, I came out of it ok and I have a healthy baby. That's good enough for me."

* * *

Storm carried a hot drink to Rogue. Rogue, as always, was sitting next to Gambit as she held his hand, spoke to him, and stroked his face through her gloved fingers.

"Some hot tea for you," Storm said. It was late in the evening; the rest of the group had finished dinner hours ago.

"Thank you, ma'am," Rogue said, accepting the drink. Storm was encouraged that her friend's expression had not been a monotone. She sounded alert and calm. "I think I'd prefer somethin' stronger than this, though."

Storm smiled. "Replicating unnecessary items is against our regulations, and alcohol falls into that category." Storm had been serious, but after she spoke the words, she paused and reconsidered. "However, if you want a cognac, I'd be more than happy to replicate it for you."

"Seriously?"

Storm stood up and headed for the food replicator. "We have enough dilithium to last us many years," she said, decisively. "One cognac is not going to make a difference."

Rogue grinned at her friend. Storm was such a good leader. Much as she liked and respected him, good old Cyke would never broken the regulations like this.

Storm replicated the drink and handed it to Rogue. "Much better. You're wonderful, Storm!" Rogue said.

Storm sat back down next to Rogue. She decided to drink the tea she brought for her friend.

"It's so weird lookin' at him like this," Rogue mused, her eyes on Gambit. "He looks so peaceful. I keep wantin' to tell myself that he's just sleepin and he'll be awake any minute. But I know it ain't true."

Storm nodded, though Rogue couldn't see it. She reached a hand up to Rogue's shoulder and lightly began to massage the area. "You should consider getting some sleep soon, my friend."

"I don't wanna sleep. Remy needs me here."

"Rogue. You've only been allowing yourself a few hours of sleep a night. That is not sufficient."

"But what if Remy should wake and he's all alone?" Rogue asked.

"He's a big boy," Storm smiled. "I am sure he can handle it. Hank can set up some monitoring so that if his patterns do change, someone is alerted. Or perhaps we need to set up some a guard duty schedule, to make sure someone's with him at all times."

Rogue nodded, still looking at her lover. "Well, I volunteer for the first shift, then."

"If you won't go to bed, then at least promise me you'll join either Wolverine or I in the Danger Room tomorrow for a while."

"That's a deal, Sugar!"

"And promise me you'll let Bobby or someone else give you a massage again?" Storm asked.

"I will. Mr. Drake did a damn fine job on my shoulders and back yesterday, I must say," Rogue remarked. "Though my butt is the area that I need to massage the most, since I been sittin on it all day."

"Well, who knows, perhaps he'd be willing to massage you there, too."

Rogue giggled. "Nah, though I'm sure if *Gambit* woke up and asked Bobby to do it, he'd be more than happy to!"

Both women giggled at the thought. Storm then added, "We should replicate a pillow for you to sit on, or at least get you a more comfortable chair than this one."

"Maybe tomorrow," Rogue said, taking another sip of her drink. She didn't attempt to stifle the yawn that escaped from her mouth. "It's not your company, Storm," she added hastily.

"I know," Storm said. "It is quite late and you have not been getting sufficient sleep."

"Are you going to go to bed now?" Rogue asked.

"I'll certainly finish my tea with you. And if you want to talk, I'll stay as late as you would like."

Rogue nodded, her eyes still fixated on Gambit. Terrifying thoughts swarmed through her mind. "Storm, what do I do if he never wakes up?" she finally blurted out.

Storm reached for Rogue's shoulder again and squeezed it. "We do not know what the future will bring," she said softly.

"I know. But what am I gonna do without Gambit? I can't even imagine it." Her voice broke. "I love him so much. I never loved anyone like this before."

As Storm's tea got cold, she held Rogue, the younger woman sobbing for quite some time. When she was done crying, Storm maneuvered Rogue to one of the empty beds in sick bay, and Rogue fell asleep right away.

* * *

Another month passed for the X-men, with no change in Gambit's condition. Beast and the Professor tried everything. Medically, there was nothing more the machines in the infirmary could do. They kept him alive but could not wake him from his coma.

The Professor and Jean spent an intense afternoon with Gambit, trying to use their powers to reach his consciousness and use it to wake him. Their work was to no avail. It was as if Gambit was in a deep sleep, and neither of them could make him stir.

Rogue, of course, kept up her vigil at her lover's side. Although her teammates lured her away for periods of time to ensure that she was getting sleep, exercise and food, Rogue spent most of her days at Gambit's bedside, talking to and touching him. She regularly slept on a bed next to his in the infirmary. A few of her items of clothing and toiletries were now stashed in sick bay.

As they had a month ago, the X-men encountered an uninhabited moon with large supplies of dilithium. They decided again to increase their stores of dilithium as this moon also was completely lifeless.

As Colossus, Wolverine and Jubilee headed for engineering to work on retrieving the precious material from the moon, Scott and Jean were cuddled together in their room with Charlotte. The peacefully sleeping baby was snuggled between her parents.

"I wonder if I should be there, helping them with the dilithium," Scott wondered.

"Honey, I'm sure they have it under control. Having more than three people on it would just mean the others would be getting in the way," Jean said. "Just enjoy being here with us." He snuggled closer to her. She added, "I'm glad we're getting more dilithium though."

"Me too," Scott said.

They were silent for a few moments, just laying there and lightly caressing each other and the baby. "Storm is doing a wonderful job with Rogue," Jean mused.

"She's always been good at getting through to her," Scott said. "Rogue listens to her."

"Storm's kept her from falling into self-pity or self-hatred. She really has kept Rogue incredibly positive," Jean said, her admiration apparent.

"Rogue has come a long way in the last several years though," Scott remarked. Silently he mused that the female X-men always had such good rapport with each other. Back at the mansion, Storm and Jean basically served as mentors for Rogue, Shadowcat and Jubilee-especially when it came to emotional or personal issues, but on other things as well. The men didn't have any sort of support system like that. Scott reflected that he would actually love to serve in a mentor-type roll…..but the other guys either didn't need one or would never use one. Oh well. `I'm a dad, now,' he thought, `I'll get all the mentor-chances I want.'

Jean was picking up on his thoughts, but she also wanted to comment on what he spoke. "Rogue *has* reached a good level of emotional maturity," Jean admitted. "But I really worry about her if Gambit does not snap out of this….I fear he'll never come out of the coma."

"He's a tough guy, Jean. He'll make it."

"But Scott, people can stay in comas for….years. Some never wake up. It doesn't matter how mentally or physically strong you are when your brain is shut off like this."

Scott nodded. "I suppose you're right. We do need to be optimistic though, for Rogue's sake."

Jean shook her head. "It just would be so unfair to Rogue. She's waited all her life for a love like this….She and Remy are finally able to be together. I mean, not just physically, but she's finally opened her heart up to him too. And now this."

"I know. But worrying about it isn't going to help," Scott said softly, his hand reaching for Jean's. Jean reached her head over to be able to kiss her husband.

Moments later, Charlotte was floated onto her crib via her mom's telekinesis. Scott and Jean were now kissing with more vigor, their caresses slowly becoming more serious. Scott had a hand under Jean's shirt and was fondling a ripe breast when an alarm sounded.

Scott and Jean both gasped and sat up. The team had tested the ship's red alert system, but had not yet had occasion to use it. "Everyone report to the bridge!" the Professor spoke over the intercom. "This is not a drill."

On instinct, Jean grabbed Charlotte, and she and Scott raced to the bridge, baby in tow. Jean sensed an emotion akin to panic from the Professor. Very few times had she ever sensed him this alarmed.

* * *

I was in the middle of a ping pong game with Storm when the red alert went off. Shocked, we ran down the hallway towards the elevator that would take us to the bridge. By the time we got there, we could feel the ship breaking orbit away from the moon. The Professor sat at the controls on the bridge, steering the ship away. Wolverine, Colossus and Jubilee had been in engineering, loading dilithium when the alert sounded, but they reached the bridge with the rest of us.

"I'm engaging the cloaking device and moving the ship at warp five," the Professor said as his fingers worked his control panel. "There are two FOH starships after us. They must have spotted us when we uncloaked to load the dilithium. They uncloaked and began to fire on us. They didn't hit us."

It all happened so fast. Wolverine took the weapons control station, and Cyclops sat at the other terminal, ready to back up the Professor. The consoles on the bridge showed us what was happening. There were indeed two FOH ships on our tail. However, as soon as we re-cloaked, they must have done the same. We couldn't see them.

"We've reached warp 5 now," Cyclops said, looking at one of the monitors. "That's the fastest speed this ship travels at."

"The FOH ships are cloaked again," Storm said. "How will-"

Her words were cut off as an explosion could be heard. "They're firing phasers at us," Cyclops said. "We've sustained moderate damage to our shields."

"We have to hope they don't damage our engines," Storm said.

I felt the adrenaline rushing and fear welling up inside me. I noticed that Jean and Jubilee both held their babies, and both babies were loudly wailing, as if they knew what was to come.

Whenever one of the FOH ships fired on us, they had to temporarily uncloak, which allowed us to track their position on the monitor. Unfortunately, whenever they successfully hit us, they could get a glimpse of our location too. Two, then three, phaser blasts rocked our ship. I fervently hoped our shields would hold.

It was a mad dash from there. As my heart pounded, I noticed that the Professor and Cyclops had traded places. Cyclops was our best pilot, and he used every maneuver he could to shake them. We had one serious drawback which was becoming more and more apparent as each second went by. The FOH ships were much faster.

"I'm firing back at them," Wolverine said, his fingers ready at his console.

"No, Logan," Storm said, "Every time a ship fires, it reveals their location."

"They can already track our location from the times they've managed to hit us," Cyclops said. He apparently decided to over-ride Storm's order. "Return their fire, Wolverine. Use phasers, not the photon torpedoes."

The FOH ships were avoiding using their photon torpedoes on us. I fleetingly wondered why they would chose to do so, as photons were more powerful than phasers. Then it hit me. Photons were more likely to destroy a ship, whereas phasers would simply disable it. They wanted to take us alive. A sick feeling turned over in my stomach. I felt helpless, watching the events play out. I forced myself to keep breathing.

We fired back on them. Our disadvantages were that our ship was slower, and there were two FOH vessels against our one.

"Shields down to 25%," the Professor said after another round of phasers hit us. Pretty soon, our cloaking device would be inoperable and soldiers would be able to transport aboard when our shields were destroyed. The Professor ordered Rogue and Hank to engineering, to work on repairing the shields. As the two of them dashed for the hallway, I wondered if we'd even survive the battle long enough for them to begin repairs.

"Prepare for hand to hand combat," Storm ordered. I changed into Iceman, Colossus changed into his indestructible form, and my fellow X-men all readied themselves.

"Wait a second," the Professor said, frantically cueing up something on his console. "Cyclops, change our heading to this one." He must have sent something to Cyclops's monitor. Cyclops frantically entered the coordinates and our ship veered in one direction.

The FOH vessels followed and continued to fire on us. I vaguely remembered that a damaged ship often "leaked" an ion trail, which revealed its location. At this point, we may as well not have had our cloaking device on. Their ships remained on our tail. It was clear that they could easily track our position.

As our ship sped towards its course, with Cyclops attempting to out-maneuver the FOH, one of the attacking starships broadcast a message. You can force another vessel to receive communications, especially when its shields were damaged. My heart stopped as I listened to the message and it suddenly got very quiet on the bridge.

"Mutant scum," the menacing voice sounded over the static-y transmission, "surrender to the Friends of Humanity and prepare to be boarded."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Mutant scum," the menacing voice sounded over the static-y transmission, "surrender to the Friends of Humanity and prepare to be boarded."

Each hair on the back of my neck stood up. I glanced at Jubilee. She looked petrified. My hands trembled.

"That will be the day," Wolverine grumbled. He then fired a few of the photon torpedoes, attempting to destroy the ships that pursued us. FOH might want to take us alive, but we had no desire to reciprocate.

The FOH ships successfully evaded the photons. Wolverine continued to fire phasers and photons at our attackers. The Professor updated us on the status of the FOH ships. Minor damage only. They continued their pursuit.

"Where are we heading?" Jean asked, towards the Professor. Her voice sounded remarkably calm. If I attempted to speak, my voice would shake uncontrollably.

"I looked up a location near here that might serve to hide us," the Professor said. "We're almost there." Another two phaser blasts rocked the ship. I think our shields were gone by that point. I hoped they'd hit non-essential areas of the ship.

Ahead on the viewscreen, we saw….a huge something. I'll try to describe it. It was a large, purplish mist, resembling a big cloud. The Professor rattled off a list of chemicals that he was reading inside the "nebula", as he called it. But the key part was that he said our sensors couldn't penetrate it. "If the sensors on this ship can't penetrate it," he said, "hopefully their sensors can't either. Maybe we can lose them inside here."

"Is it a good idea to fly into that, when we do not know what lay behind it?" Storm asked, looking at the viewscreen. We were on a direct course for the nebula cloud.

"I know that we will be safe," the Professor said cryptically.

"We've got no choice, Storm," Cyclops said, shouting over the din of the two babies crying loudly. "We're almost out of photons, our shields are all but destroyed, and we can't outrun them. We're really running out of options here."

"I think we can lose them in here," the Professor said. The nebula loomed closer and closer ahead. The monitor closest to me indicated that the FOH ships were still on our heels, following us into the nebula.

I held my breath as our ship entered the cloud. Our speed reduced from warp drive to impulse power. The minute we were inside, our monitors went haywire. The consoles that had been tracking the two attacking ships were useless, and we could no longer determine their positions. I glanced at Storm. She had a look of serious doubt on her face. We had no idea where the FOH ships were in relation to ours as our vessel continued to plunge ahead. We didn't feel the ship getting hit from any more phaser blasts though.

Jean took a deep breath. "I sense widespread confusion and panic from the FOH," she said. "Before I sensed only anger and hatred and desire for vengeance. Now they are baffled-I guess by our move. And they're getting frustrated….perhaps because their sense of navigation is now as messed up as ours are now."

The Professor nodded. "Before we entered this cloud, I was able to measure how big it is." He gave some measurement that I knew was enormous. We would have plenty of time and plenty of room to float around in here.

"Everything else seems to be working alright," Storm said, "Life support and the lighting, for instance."

"Any luck with the shields?" Cyclops asked Hank and Rogue over the intercom.

"We will need a few hours to get these repaired," Hank said. "Storm, we could use your assistance down here, because you were on the engineering team."

"I'll be there right away," she said, as she headed for the elevator.

"Now what?" Cyclops asked, looking at the Professor. Cyclops was doing an admirable job of sounding calm. I had no idea how he really felt, though I guessed he'd have to be as panicked as the rest of us. "We need some options."

Just as he said that, our ship's speed slowed considerably. Though we could no longer determine our position, the console that monitored our speed was working. Slowly and gradually, our starship was coming to a halt.

"Why are we stopping?" Rogue asked, her voice coming in over the intercom. "There's nothing wrong with the engines."

"I don't know," Cyclops said, looking in confusion at his monitor.

Our external navigation systems weren't working, but we could still look out the viewscreen. The dense mist seemed to be clearing as our ship crept along. Gradually, the mists parted and we were looking at what appeared to be a planet surrounded by several large moons.

"Our sensors aren't working and now our engines are off-line," Cyclops summarized as our ship finally came to a halt. "Our weapons are off-line too, as are our transporters."

The Professor touched the side of his head. "And so it is for our attackers as well." I could sense that he was straining to read minds of those on board the two other ships. Jean was doing the same, and she also looked as if she were exerting herself. She nodded. "They are extremely frustrated. I think they're experiencing the same things we are."

"We still gotta be ready," Wolverine said. "They can use their transporters and beam over here!"

"Are our transporters working?" Jean asked.

Cyclops looked at his console. "No. They're off line."

"Let's hope theirs are too," Jean said.

I remained in my Iceman form, and Colossus in his indestructible form. All of us on the bridge exchanged looks with each other. Charlotte had stopped crying, I noticed. We all took stock of our situation. "We're trapped in some sort of energy field. Our engines don't work and neither do weapons or transporters, and our shields are down," Cyclops said.

"The FOH crews are as trapped and frustrated as we are," the Professor said.

"We are attempting to determine the nature of the disturbance that has trapped us here," Hank said over the intercom. "But without most of our sensors working, we-"

His voice was cut off by a transmission. My heart stopped for a second, thinking it would be one of the FOH ships again demanding that we surrender. But it wasn't the FOH. A female voice spoke, "Welcome to Endaria, X-men. We're honored to have you here and you will be safe with us. I am Queen Marina of Endaria."

I looked at my teammates. They appeared as mystified as I was. For once, Professor X was completely flabbergasted. The others looked to him to construct a reply, but he was temporarily unable to.

Before the Professor, or any of us, could speak, we heard the crackle of static. A transmission could be heard from one of the other ships. "This is Captain James Miller of the Friends of Humanity starship, the Protector. We're here with our fellow Friends of Humanity vessel, the Explorer. We have followed the X-men here because they brutally murdered 213 innocent men and stole our starship. We have come to make them face justice for the crimes they committed. They must be punish-"

His voice was cut off by the one that had earlier identified herself as Queen Marina. "Shut up. I am disgusted with you and your organization. You call yourselves the "friends of humanity" but instead you truly are a disgrace to the entire human race. Get out of Endarian space."

With that, we heard a loud "whoosh." Again, we exchanged looks with each other, for whatever good it would do. Jean started to say something, but the Professor spoke, "I sense that the FOH people are no longer here."

Queen Marina spoke again. "I sent the Friends of Humanity starships backs towards earth. I really wanted to destroy both vessels, but my people are peaceful and we do not believe in killing."

"You must have an incredible power source," the Professor mused. I felt my breathing starting to return to normal. The FOH were gone? This Queen had somehow propelled their ships back to earth? We were no longer about to be captured by the FOH? The astounded look on my face was mirrored by my teammates.

"Indeed we do," Queen Marina said. "X-men, you are welcome here. My people have been following your adventures for quite some time now, and we offer you asylum here, if you would like." The Queen's voice exuded seriousness, professionalism, and regality with but a hint of warmth and admiration.

Jean was smiling. She turned towards us. "Her intent is good. She's sincere."

The Professor nodded in Jean's direction to indicate his agreement, before he addressed the regent, "Queen Marina, we must thank you for helping us and for making this offer. And pardon me if I sound somewhat amazed at the events of the last few seconds."

"Understood. We are simply glad you chose to fly into our space. Would you like to meet in person to discuss our offer of asylum?"

"Queen Marina," the Professor began, "we would be honored to." He smiled and spread his hands, "You seem to have the advantage over us, so please name your time and place."

"Three of my associates and I will beam aboard in 15 minutes," she said. We heard a click, as if she had "hung up" on us. Storm used the intercom to let us know that she, Hank and Rogue would be joining us on the bridge A minute passed, and all 10 of us adults were standing on the bridge, facing each other.

"Wow," Jubilee said. She had tears in her eyes. "I can't believe we're saved. I was so afraid we'd be captured again."

Storm put an arm around her. "We are most fortunate."

The Professor shook his head. "It is amazing. Before we entered this cloud that led us here….I felt such a strong….calling to come here. Every sense in my body knew we would be safe when we entered this cloud."

"And we are safe," Jean said, holding Charlotte who had since fallen asleep. "The Queen's intentions are positive. She is going to do everything in her power to help us."

"But why?" Wolverine asked. "What's her motivation? And how the hell does she know who we are?"

Those were questions that we hoped to have answers to when we met with the Queen.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, we all still stood on the bridge and received a communication, "X-men, this is Queen Marina." As she had before, she sounded businesslike and straightforward. "Three of my associates and myself are ready to beam directly to your bridge. Are you ready for us?"

"Yes," the Professor said. Wolverine had voiced some reservations about this meeting. Aside from the fact that the Professor and Jean were both confident of Marina's good intentions, there was another reason why we were not about to deny her a visit with us. She had just propelled two FOH starships halfway across the galaxy. As Hank pointed out, it did not appear that we had much of a choice, as their power sources were obviously vastly superior to ours. They were beaming aboard whether we liked it or not. If they chose to fling us across the galaxy, we would not have any more say in it than the FOH had.

Four figures beamed aboard—two men and two women. In terms of their appearance, had they been wearing contemporary clothing, they would have passed for four Americans. If their physiology was different than that of other human beings, there were no external clues. Marina stood at roughly the same height as Jean and she appeared to be in her thirties or forties. She had an olive complexion and dark brown hair. She wore little make up and had classically beautiful features. Although her make up was minimal, her clothing was not. She was decked out in ornate royal blue robes, and bore an elaborate crown on her head.

She introduced one of the men with her as Teleris. He appeared perhaps 10 years younger than Marina and was strikingly good-looking. The other man was named Baran. He was very tall and ruggedly handsome. Both men were also dressed in purple and red robes, looking very regal. The forth member of the entourage was introduced as Gandrida. Her skin was the same brown shade as Storm's, and she also carried herself with stately bearing. She wore elegant jewelry on her arms, neck, and face and was dressed in white robes, making her appear akin to some sort of divinity. She seemed to be around Marina's age.

The Professor began to introduce us, but Marina cut him off. "We are well acquainted with all of you. Except for," she turned her head and focussed on the babies held by Jean and Jubilee," these two young ones."

Jean spoke first, "This is Charlotte." Scott stood with his arm around Jean, and he radiated pride.

Marina exchanged a glance with her associates. "Congratulations," she said calmly. Her three friends smiled. Marina then turned her gaze to Jubilee.

"This is Aurora Lee," Jubilee said.

Teleris really looked like he wanted to ask a question, but Marina gave him a quick look that quieted him. She simply congratulated Jubilee as well and told her that her baby was beautiful.

"You are missing one member of your team, are you not?" Marina asked.

The Professor nodded. "Gambit is very ill. He is in a coma."

"I am sure our doctors can help him. Can we see him?" As Marina calmly spoke these words, I noticed Rogue's face light up with hope.

So off our procession went towards sick bay. As we formed a line and made our way down the hall, I mused what a ridiculous picture we must have made. I must say that my life has taken many unusual twists and turns that I never would've dreamed of. I love being a mutant.

* * *

Gambit blinked and tried to focus his eyes. He felt as though his head were stuffed with cotton candy, and his eyesight was blurred. Off in the distance, he heard an unfamiliar voice gently advising, "Don't try to move just yet." Gambit tried to speak but it came out sounding like a wail.

"Remy!" This voice was familiar. It was Rogue. Gambit perked up a bit as he felt his lover holding his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Chere," Gambit managed.

"Oh, Remy! You're better!" Rogue looked into Gambit's unique eyes, eyes that she had feared she would never see open again. They seemed to focus on her now. Rogue reached to put her arms around Gambit, carefully keeping her face away from his. Gambit's arms were weak but he returned the embrace best he could.

The four Endarians - and the two medical personnel they had beamed aboard the X-men's ship- smiled as they watched Rogue and Gambit's exchange. Beast checked a few monitors. "All of his signs are returning to normal. He is well."

The Endarian doctor nodded and said, "He should be back to normal in a matter of hours. He will be groggy and weak for a bit."

The Professor turned to Queen Marina and the doctors, "Thank you," he said. "No words can express our gratitude."

Rogue unabashedly cried tears of joy as she continued to hug Gambit. Gambit simply delighted in the feeling of Rogue's embrace as his head started to clear. He didn't remember what had happened to him though he knew he had been out of it for a while. It didn't matter now. Rogue was holding him.

* * *

Minutes later, the X-men and the four Endarians who beamed aboard (their medical personnel having departed) sat together in the rec room. Rogue remained with Gambit in sick bay, listening in via a communicator.

Queen Marina told the X-men about her people and her planet. At times, her words were scarcely believable, however the events of the past couple of hours seemed to bear them out, and the Professor and Jean knew she was speaking the truth. Marina was the newly elected leader of the inhabitants of the planet Endaria. She explained that her planet was ruled by a constitutional monarchy that elected its leaders from the members of the royal family. She described the civilization of her people as being ancient, having been around for millennia. She added that they possessed extremely powerful technology (as the X-men had already witnessed both with the FOH ships and the recovery of Gambit.)

Marina went on to describe that Endarians were almost all xenophobes who had no wish to establish any sort of contact with those not from their planet. The heavy clouds that surrounded Endaria served to shield its inhabitants from the rest of the galaxy, and most Endarians were content to leave it that way, as it had been for as long as anyone could remember. "However, there are those of us who *are* fascinated by other worlds," she said. "We have been monitoring your planet for quite some time. After all, it is not far from ours, in terms of light-years."

"We have been appalled at the way mutants are treated on earth," Gandrida added. "We've admired you X-men for a very long time."

"We were shocked and thrilled when you flew near our space," Teleris said.

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you would like," Marina said. "Unfortunately, because our people are xenophobes and wish to have no contact with outsiders, you cannot visit the planet Endaria itself. However, we have 17 moons, one of which is uninhabited."

"It's a very beautiful moon," Teleris said. "We would be glad to allow you to live there. You mutants need an asylum. We call the moon An'zhina, but you could rename if, if you like, should you decide to settle there."

Several X-men wanted to jump in and ask questions. The Professor tried to sort through all their unasked questions and speak. "This is so very fascinating. Again, you must excuse us if we appear shocked." He paused, "May I ask how you know of us? You said your people are xenophobes and yet…."

"We monitor your planet," Baran said. "We've been doing so for thousands of years. Once a year, we receive transmissions from earth that our sensors pick up. Although most of our people want no contact with earth - or any other planets - we do enjoy reading and learning about them. There are not many civilizations in this area of space."

"All of us," Gandrida said, gesturing towards herself and her three comrades, "have been closely monitoring your good works for over ten years. We are extremely impressed with the X-men."

"With most mutants, actually," Teleris said. "In the face of so much hatred and oppression, you manage to persist. Watching the things you-I mean all of humanity-endure on your planet is shocking. We don't have things like war or poverty on our planet."

The Professor smiled and again struggled for words. "Is this why you desire to help us? Because you admire the work the X-men have done over the years?"

"Yes," Queen Marina said. "The realm of Endaria-the planet and all of its moons-is extremely large and prosperous. We have much room and many resources to share and we would be delighted to share some of that with you X-men."

"This is such a kind and generous offer," the Professor began, attempting to choose his words carefully," surely there must be something you would like in return?"

"No," Marina said simply. "We do not want anything in return, except a promise that you will avoid contact with Endaria's inhabitants. If you choose to settle on An'zhina, you must avoid the planet Endaria and its other moons. That is our only request."

The Endarians remained for several more hours, talking with the X-men. As the large group ate dinner together in the infirmary, the Endarians answered numerous questions regarding their civilization and life on their planet. They gave the X-men a CD full of more detailed information about their planet. Beast especially looked forward to absorbing as much information as he could.

"It is getting quite late," Marina said, when dinner was finished. "If you would like, tomorrow we can return and take a tour of An'zhina together."

The X-men agreed to this and prepared to bid Marina and her entourage goodnight. However, a thought popped into Jean's head. "Excuse me, Your Majesty," she began.

"Please, Jean, as I said before you may call me Marina," the Queen said with a smile on her beautiful features.

"Yes, of course." Jean looked at the kind woman. Over the past several hours, her impression of Marina was very favorable. "Please, Marina," Jean began again, "I have a small request that might sound a bit unusual. Is it possible that we might use a camera? You see, Scott and I have no photographs of our daughter because replicating a camera uses up a lot of dilithium and -"

"Say no more. I will order one up here right away."

Minutes later, a camera was beamed aboard the ship. It was simple to operate and the likenesses were produced instantly. Marina and her group was thanked profusely, and they departed for the evening.

* * *

That evening was something of a blur for many of the X-men. Scott, Jean, and Jubilee took hundreds of photos of their children (and the other X-men), attempting to make up for the months of their daughters' lives that they had no photos from. They placed some photos in replicated scrapbooks. The camera had a feature that allowed the photos to be enlarged as well, a feature which they made use of.

Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit remained in sick bay, his strength slowly returning. Rogue sat with him, and when he was ready to get up and take a few steps, she supported him.

The rest of the group was abuzz with the events of the past several hours. They remained around the table in sick bay, talking and debating.

"Wolverine, I really think you are being too suspicious," Storm said. "If the Professor and Jean are both convinced that Marina's intent is sincere, then there is no reason to doubt them."

"They were right about the natives on the 'Paradise Planet'," Iceman added, using the common nickname for the planet they had left. "Heck, they're right about everything so why doubt them?"

"Look, I don't doubt either you or Jean," Wolverine said, looking at the Professor. "But you gotta admit it's possible they got some sorta technology that can confuse your powers. The natives back on the Paradise Planet weren't advanced enough to. But we've seen what these Endarians can do. Don't you think it's possible they got the ability to fake you out?"

The Professor said, "It is at least conceivable that they could do so. I suppose it wouldn't hurt for us to be cautious. However, I am completely convinced we have nothing to fear."

"If they wanted to harm us, by now they surely could have," Storm said. She smiled. She knew that Logan often did not trust people, and during his long life he had been given many good reasons to be suspicious of others. Storm did not have the Professor or Jean's telepathic abilities, but her intuition told her that Marina's intent was sincere.

"The only unusual thing I sensed," the Professor began, "was that the four of them were all…very excited to be in our presence. More excited than they let on."

"They admire all of us greatly," Storm said. "They did admit to that."

"Yes," the Professor said. "It was very deep admiration that I sensed from them."

"We've entered a fascinating and exciting new world," Hank said, his voice filled with wonder. "If we allow ourselves to entertain the possibility that everything Queen Marina says is true - and I also believe she is sincere - think of the ramifications."

Storm nodded. "An asylum for mutants. We've needed one for so long. I wonder if this is now our chance."

The Professor closed his eyes and took a breath. "Of course," he said, opening his eyes, "we do not yet know the situation back on earth. Baran explained that only once a year do they receive a transmission from their sensors monitoring earth. As they told us, they are not due for another one for many months now. If things have improved on earth, there might be no need for an asylum."

The others at the table - Storm, Wolverine, Beast and Iceman - exchanged looks. None of them believed the condition of mutants on earth had improved during the last 16 months. In fact, Storm and Wolverine both had guttural instincts telling them that things had gotten far, far worse. However, Storm only smiled and said, "We shall see once we are closer to earth." The group had discussed this earlier and decided to tour An'zhina the next day, but continue with their original plan of later flying near earth to obtain more information about their home planet.

"Yes, that is true," the Professor said. "My dream is that humans and mutants can live together in peace. I hope that there is no need for us to use the Endarian's offer of asylum. It would mean a defeat. It would mean we've given up hope of the dream."

Storm gazed at her teacher with love and affection. She hoped he couldn't sense the….sadness she felt for him. She and Wolverine had had many discussions about this topic over the last several months In fact, she had talked about this with many of the other X-men. Very few believed the situation on earth had improved. The Professor may very well be the last one holding on to the dream.

* * *

Before turning in for the night, Hank performed another exam on Gambit. "An amazing recovery," he proclaimed. "The Endarians' technology is truly advanced. According to all the readings, you're in normal health." Hank hoped that some day he would have the chance to study Endarian medicine. He paused and then asked, "How do you feel?"

"Gambit feel like he been sleepin' for five weeks but he still really tired," the Cajun groggily answered.

"Well, you have been unconscious for five weeks, and I am not at all surprised that you are feeling fatigue. I advise you to rest. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call me."

Gambit smiled, "Gambit got me de best nurse right here, Nurse Rogue."

Rogue smiled, her arm around her boyfriend. The couple made their way to their room and prepared for bed. Rogue turned down the covers and helped Gambit undress. "Do you need anythin', sugar?"

"No. Jus' you, chere," Gambit said. He held his arms open for another embrace and Rogue slipped into it easily. As soon as he did so, Gambit realized he might need to clarify something. "Uh-chere, you know Gambit really, really tired now and not gonna be able to-"

Rogue smiled, "How much of a horn dog do you think I am?" They giggled together, "Oh, don't answer that."

"Well, considering you rarely let 24 hours go by without wantin' some lovin' from Gambit…..Not dat I'm at all complaining, amor."

"Good." Rogue reached for Gambit's shoulder and planted a kiss on it. His hands were ungloved and she wore no collar, so kissing other areas was not possible that moment. Suddenly, Rogue was crying.

"Chere?"

"I'm so glad you're safe, Remy," Rogue said, through sobs. "I was so afraid I'd lost you forever. As soon as those doctors cured you.…I felt such relief like I've never felt ever before." She squeezed him tightly.

"Gambit's gotten out of worse before. We X-men are tough, takes a lot to stop us, you know dat." He was smiling as he spoke, his heart pounding with love. "Chere," he breathed, "I really appreciate dat you at my bedside the whole time. I `ppreciate the caring for me." After he'd awakened, others had told Gambit that Rogue had almost never left his side. Gambit had not been the least bit surprised. He would have done the same for her, had she been sick. In fact, he decided to tell her so.

"I know, Remy," Rogue said, her tears subsiding. "I would've never forgiven myself if you hadn't recovered."

"Chere, I always used to joke that a kiss from you would be worth a trip to de hospital. See, I was serious `bout dat."

She smiled at his joking tone. "But Gambit, how can you not be angry at me?"

"Chere, are we gonna need relationship counseling for dis?" he teased. "It was an accident. I know dat an you know dat." He shrugged. "We be more careful from now on."

Rogue nodded, and broke off the embrace, "You know, Remy, that's exactly what we gotta do." She sat up. "Maybe I outta wear the collar whenever the two of us are alone together. That's it! That's what I'll do."

Gambit leaned back, amused, as Rogue sprang from the bed, reached into a drawer to pull out a collar and placed it around her neck. He shrugged, "If you feel mos' comfortable that way, amor."

Rogue returned to the bed with the collar on. She shut off the light, and she and Gambit curled up together in the darkness.

"You wanna talk before we go to sleep, Remy?" Rogue asked.

"Yes," he said, his voice weary. "But Gambit not gonna last too long, he so tired now."

"What do you think of this whole Queen Marina thing? And her offer of asylum?"

"Gambit a skeptic by nature but he reserving all opinion till we see dis moon."

"Marina said it's a beautiful moon. I hope it is. You know," Rogue mused, "I gotta imagine the Professor ain't totally keen on it, but I love the idea of an asylum, don't you?"

"Uh-huh."

"I mean, maybe this place is all she says it is. Maybe it'll be a home for us mutants at last. If things on earth are truly bad, this could be just what we need. I can hardly wait to see the moon, and….hey, Gambit?"

Rogue smiled, as she realized Gambit was sound asleep. He'd been through a lot in one day. She snuggled in next to him, her head spinning-partly with thoughts about An'zhina's possibilities, but most of her thoughts were on Gambit. She savored the warmth from his body and had never been so thankful in her life. The despondent nights of sleeping alone were over.

* * *

Wow! That's all I can say. An'zhina was gorgeous! It was incredible. I'll try to think of good enough adjectives, but I'm not sure that I can. If I had to compare it to anywhere on earth, I'd say Maui might be the best resemblance. I once spent five days in Maui. This was about four years ago, back when I was in a relationship with Michael. He was a highly-paid consultant and I wasn't doing badly as a computer programmer, so we booked a trip to Maui. Never in my life had I seen such clear water or such sensual sandy beaches.

That's what An'zhina looked like, except Maui looked drab in comparison. It even made the Paradise Planet appear mundane. An'zhina looked something like a resort. It was sunny and warm, though not humid and not too hot.

"An'zhina is a very tiny moon," Marina said, as our large group walked. "If I had to compare it to an area on earth, I'd say it occupies about the square footage of New York City. That is not counting all the water on this moon. An'zhina is about 35% freshwater, as you can see." She gestured off to one of the many beaches where the water glistened like sapphires. "About 20 years ago we used An'zhina as a resort, but we elected to close it. It's been uninhabited since then, and we have not been able to decide what to do with it. Until now."

All of us were there, along with Queen Marina and her three cohorts. Gambit said he was feeling much stronger than the day before and almost back to normal. I'd been so glad he got better. That morning when I saw him, I gave him a hug which he'd returned. He and Rogue walked hand in hand, along with the rest of us.

As Marina gave us the tour of An'zhina, we kept up a barrage of questions. The temperature here varied year round; this was summer. She described cold winters that lasted about 8-10 weeks. We were told the moon never got excessively humid though; the average temperatures that Teleris rattled off were all quite pleasant. The moon had several sandy beaches, as well as lots of grassy areas with trees.

It did not have much in the way of buildings. We were led on a tour of the main building, which was perched up atop a series of hills. Looking out from the building….wow. The view was incredible. Hills were all around us. Farther off in the distance we could see all those gorgeous beaches. I could clearly understand why this moon had been a resort.

The building itself had a circular shape. The center of the building had several large rooms: a huge meeting hall, large kitchen/dining area, and recreation room. We were told that the kitchen had devices similar to our food replicators. "We use them for simplicity's sake," Gandrida explained. "However, all of our kitchens have cooking equipment too, because cooking is something we enjoy doing." Branching off from this center area were a lot of sleeping rooms. I think Marina said there were 50 total. They weren't much bigger than the rooms on board our ship, but they were cozy and tidy.

After touring the structure, I got the belief that Endarians have simplistic tastes in architecture and decoration. Queen Marina was always garbed in elaborate clothing but every other glimpse we'd seen of Endaria suggested a fondness for simplicity.

By the time we were done with the tour, it was well past our lunchtime and we were all hungry. Marina suggested we have lunch on the moon, inside the building. Food replicators created whatever each of us wished for, and we sat around a huge circular table eating. The whole thing was really a bit surreal.

The Professor, Queen Marina and Teleris spent most of lunchtime talking about Cerebro. Teleris started it off by saying he thought they might be able to help the Professor rebuild Cerebro! The Professor was obviously thrilled. "If you wish to make contact with mutants on earth," Teleris said, "rebuilding Cerebro might be the best way. You can fly back towards earth and pick up on news reports, but you know the news will be slanted and it sure won't give you information on individual mutants."

"I am extremely grateful for this offer," the Professor said. "I would be very glad if we immediately could begin work on Cerebro."

So they spent most of lunchtime talking over the particulars. Eventually, they decided that the best way to achieve this would be to have a small group of Endarian scientists and engineers come on board our ship for several hours a day and work with the Professor on Cerebro. Teleris estimated it could take several months, but he was fairly sure it could be done. Just looking across the circular table at the Professor, I could see delight and hope in his eyes.

After lunch, Queen Marina and her entourage left us. She said the choice was ours - we could start moving into the building on An'zhina and making it our home, or we could return to our ship. "We have no wish to rush you, of course," she said. "You can take as long as you need to settle in. The choice is yours and if you want to decline our offer of asylum, that is very well too. Take all the time you need to make your decision."

After she left, we X-men had a brief discussion. It was just too early to decide what we wanted to do about An'zhina our sanctuary, but we agreed to spend the remainder of the day back aboard our ship.

* * *

That evening, I found myself reaching for my communicator. "Hey, Hank, it's me," I said. "You busy this evening? Care for some company?"

"We would be delighted in your company," Hank said.

"So, uh, who's 'we'? Have you become schizophrenic?"

"Once again, I recommend you do not attempt to make a living as a stand-up comedian, Bobby," Hank said flatly, though I could tell he was fighting back laughter. "Jubilee and Aurora are in here too," he explained. I heard Jubilee's voice in the background urging me to come join them.

So, minutes later, I was stretched out on Hank's bed with Jubilee on the other side of our large friend. We were taking turns brushing him, and Hank was lazily enjoying the attention like he was some old sultan being pampered by his harem. Aurora was sitting up on the bed, smiling and giggling as I played with her.

"I miss our tents," Jubilee said. "It was just way easier then to hang out with everyone."

"We are indeed very compartmentalized on board the ship," Hank allowed, as Jubilee brushed out his shoulders.

I ignored their discussion of compartmentalization for the time being. "Are you guys as weirded out by all of this as I am?" I asked. This was what I really wanted to mull over with someone. "I mean, it's all just so strange. We come this close to getting captured by the Friends of Humanity again. Then we're saved by these people who know who we are and who like admire us. And they're offering us a sanctuary. It's all just so strange."

"I've seen so much weird stuff in my 21 years - especially the last six of them-, this just doesn't phase me that much," Jubilee said nonchalantly.

"I must say that I feel excitement more than anything," Hank said. "I believe that Queen Marina is sincere in her offer of an asylum for mutants. Think of the possibilities!" He then went on to recite a poem:

I dwell in Possibility-

A fairer House than Prose-

More numerous of Windows-

Superior-for Doors-

Of Chambers as the Cedars-

Impregnable of Eye-

And for an Everlasting Roof-

The Gambrels of the Sky-

Of Visitors-the fairest-

For Occupation-This

The spreading wide my narrow Hands-

To gather Paradise

"Emily Dickenson's, `I Dwell in Possibility,'" Hank explained.

"Okay, I figured you didn't write it," I said, "since your hands sure ain't 'narrow.'"

"That was a cool poem," Jubilee said. "I'm excited at the possibilities of this place too."

"But, so, then you guys aren't at all weirded out by this?" I asked. "I mean, what if we're wrong and Marina and her gang have some evil scheme at the bottom of all of this?"

"If they do, there isn't much we can do," Jubilee said. "We've seen how powerful they are."

"I truly believe that the Professor and Jean are correct in their assessment of the Endarians. No matter how powerful the Endarians' technology is, I do not believe they can deceive the strong minds of the Professor and Jean." Hank said. "As a scientist, I do not usually make decisions based on 'gut' feelings. However, my instincts tell me we are truly safe here."

"If there was something fishy, the Professor or Jean would have sensed it," Jubilee said. "I know Wolverine's suspicious, but he always is. We've seen so much bad stuff in our lives, no wonder. I think we've gotta trust that this place is everything Marina says it is."

"Okay," I said, holding a finger out to Aurora, a finger which she promptly grasped and refused to relinquish. Aurora was now plump and healthy, which was reassuring as she'd been such a tiny newborn. "I'll just try to go on trust on this one."

* * *

The next day, the X-men discussed their plans for the future as soon as everyone was out of bed and ready to sit around the table in the infirmary. Gambit's recovery was truly amazing. One would never have known from looking at him that a mere two days ago, he had been in a deep coma. It was around mid-morning when Gambit and Rogue, always the last two out of bed, were ready for the meeting. The couple sat next to each other, holding hands through their gloves.

Although most of the X-men trusted the Endarians, they agreed to refrain from making a definitive decision about their future right then and there. Queen Marina had told them that they were welcome to leave their ship in orbit around An'zhina indefinitely. She also told them that her scientists would gladly assist the Professor in rebuilding Cerebro whether the X-men decided to take them up on their offer of asylum or not. Therefore, the X-men decided to work on rebuilding Cerebro and once they had a functioning Cerebro, decide on their long term plans (and whether it involved An'zhina) then.

Three Endarian scientist/engineers beamed aboard the ship and spent several hours each day with the Professor (with Jean joining them on occasion), attempting to reconstruct Cerebro. In the meantime, the X-men occasionally beamed to the surface of An'zhina and swam in its beautiful beaches or held volleyball games in the warm sun. They were able to experience the joys of the outdoors for several hours each day, while beaming back aboard their ship at night.

In additional to working on Cerebro, Endarian engineers also provided assistance in repairing the starship's shields and the minor damage the FOH had done to the vessel with its phaser blasts. They also worked on the ship to help augment its power sources. The fasted speed of the vessel was warp 5. Endarian engineers boosted the ship's power so that warp 8 was now its top speed.

Days later, Jean and Storm were poring over a shipment of books that had arrived. Beast had asked the Queen whether it would be possible for them to somehow replicate copies of books from earth. Marina told them that was a very simple request, easily fulfilled. Most X-men had turned in a list of titles they wanted, and the eagerly-awaited first shipment had arrived. Jean and Storm were sitting in the rec room, mulling over the titles as they removed them from the box one by one.

"Suddenly I'm a kid again," Jean said.

"Does this bring back memories for you?" Storm asked with a smile.

"Yes. When I was a kid, we used to have the chance to order books through school. Not school books, but things you would read for pleasure. I was always so excited when the shipment arrived and I got my hands on the new books." Jean held one of them to her nose. "I love the new book smell! What an amazing place this is, that we get to experience this again."

Truly this was an amazing place for all of the X-men. Endaria and its many moons were surrounded by the enormous nebula cloud, shrouding them from the rest of the galaxy. Because the Endarians wished for no contact with the outside world, the X-men were limited to remaining on board their ship or on the surface of An'zhina. They frequently saw Endarian spaceships pass by, and many of the moons were within visual range. A whole civilization so close, yet so far.

Jean pulled out a stack of very slim volumes and showed them to Storm.

"Children's books?" Storm asked, looking at the colorful covers.

"Charlotte and Rory will need them at some point. I started reading at age three. Given how fast the girls are growing, we'll need them before we know it."

"That is very true. Oh, good," Storm said, as her hands reached a particular book. She pulled the book out of the box. "I ordered this for Wolverine. A book on martial arts techniques. I know he'd rather do the movements than read about them, but I thought this sounded good. If he doesn't want it, I will read it."

"That was thoughtful of you," Jean said. She paused, "So how is Wolverine?"

Storm smiled. "You see him every day like I do, and you can read minds, so surely you know how he is," she teased.

"Well, you know what I mean. I'm just curious as to how things are going between you and him. I'm sorry if I sound nosy."

"You're not being nosy at all. Things are going well. I'm very pleased with our arrangement, and I think he is too," Storm said straightforwardly.

"You know, I'm just curious and please tell me if I am being too prying…..but how do you see your relationship with Wolverine? I mean, are you two in love or….?"

Storm smiled again and reassured Jean that she did not mind the questions. "Our relationship is a little hard to define. We're not soulmates like you and Scott. We don't have the passion for each other that Rogue and Gambit have. Logan and I do have a great deal of respect for each other, respect and caring. And tenderness." She paused. "And we are very good together in bed. I suppose we love each other in a way, but it is not similar to what you and Scott have. We have discussed," Storm continued, "the possibility that one of us might fall in love with someone else. Of course that is unlikely in the immediate future, given that our hosts insist we have such limited contact with their people. But who knows what the future will bring? If one of us does fall in love with someone else, we are free to end our relationship." Storm paused, "If something like that does happen, I would be very sad to no longer have him as my lover, but I would not be devastated as, say, Rogue would be if Gambit left her."

"I sense that Logan is still in love with me," Jean said quietly. She almost wished Storm had answered differently, though Jean knew it would have been a lie. Jean wished that Wolverine had fallen in love with Storm, and vice versa.

"I know," Storm said simply, nodding. "But that is alright with me. I do not desire to be his wife or his soulmate. Perhaps I do have a soulmate out there somewhere and perhaps I do not. For the time being, I am quite comfortable with my arrangement with Logan, and he has told me that he feels the same."

Jean nodded. It was hard for her to imagine making love with someone she wasn't deeply in love with but, then again, she hadn't done so for many, many years. Before she'd ever met Scott, she'd had one lover. At the time she thought she was in love, but it had been nothing like what she now had with Scott. Anyway, it was not her place to judge Storm and Wolverine's relationship….she was truly glad they were happy. She just wished Wolverine would stop loving her and be able to find someone else.

* * *

You'll never believe what I started doing. During the weeks while Cerebro was being repaired, we X-men looked for things to do. We had all the usuals like working out in the Danger Room and playing with the babies, plus a few new ones like reading the books the Endarians acquired for us and spending time experiencing the beauty of An'zhina. But we still got bored occasionally.

Wolverine had an idea for warding off boredom. He decided to teach classes on karate. He announced it to us one day during lunch. He said he had in mind late-morning sessions every day, just before lunch and that he'd like to conduct the classes on An'zhina. "If any of you want to be trained in this, let me know in the next few days." He sounded quite serious and dedicated at the task of coming up with the structure of the lessons.

A few hours after Wolverine's offer, Jubilee caught up with me in the rec room. I was tired that day and not in the mood for frolicking outside, even though the weather on An'zhina that day was reportedly beautiful. I was lounging on one of the recliners, my feet up.

"There you are, Bobby," Jubilee said, bounding into the room. Her eyes sparkled.

"Hi, sweetie," I said.

"I'm signing up for karate! Jean and Scott agreed to watch Aurora while I'm in class, since they're not interested. Sign up with me, Bobby!"

"Are you kidding? I could never do it."

"Sure you could. C'mon, if I can do it, why can't you?"

"You're made of a lot tougher stuff than I am, Jubes."

"Oh, bullshit!" she said, smiling. "C'mon, it'll be fun if we take the class together. Besides, most of the others I talked to aren't interested in it. We gotta take the class so Wolvie doesn't cancel it. Pleeeeasse?" she asked, making quite an adorable face at me.

Since we were alone in the rec room, I spoke openly. "Jubilee, I have reasons for not wanting to take the class. I don't wanna work in such close proximity with Wolverine. I think he can sense that I got the hots for him and it's going to be really uncomfortable."

Jubilee shrugged, "I think he can sense when someone likes him because of the smell, but he's always had this ability and you've had the hots for him since like you walked in the door, so what's the problem? He already knows. You're not the first person who's got the hots for him that he's not interested in. He can deal."

"What if I suck at it though? Then I get to make a fool of myself in front of Wolverine," I said glumly.

"Wolverine respects people who try and push themselves, even if they fall a few times along the way. He respects that way more than those who never bother to try. C'mon, Bobby….it'll be fun, it'll be challenging, it'll give us something to do. Wasn't it not that long ago that you were pleading with me to start training again in the Danger Room? Well, I have. So please go with me on this one too!"

She continued to come up with reasons and what can I say? Against my better judgement, I decided to agree to it. In the end, it was only the two of us and Colossus who signed up for the class.

The four of us worked together for weeks. Almost every day the sun was bright and warm as we worked out in the open on An'zhina. A few times it rained and we had to take it indoors, to the gym on the ship.

Well, I did make a fool of myself and get my butt kicked several times. I mean, I was *bad* at first. But I also made some progress. After a few weeks Wolverine said, "You've improved a lot. Keep it up." I almost wanted to dance with joy. Wolverine was a good teacher and way more patient than I thought he'd be.

I got to watch more of the way Wolverine interacted with Jubilee. Man, he loves her. Not in *that* sort of way, of course. I've heard others say she's like his little sister but I think it's more of a father-daughter type thing. Well I don't know exactly. Anyway, he practically glowed with pride when she mastered a new skill and he was so good at encouraging her, getting her to try new things. I was mighty impressed, with both of them.

* * *

The X-men had been in orbit around An'zhina for almost two months when Cerebro II was finished at last. The reconstructed Cerebro was housed in a room on board the ship that used to serve as a meeting room. The X-men watched and waited eagerly as the Professor entered the room with Cerebro II and closed the door behind him.

He was in the room for a long time. Jean "checked in" with Xavier on occasion just to ensure that he was well. "He's doing fine," she would update the group. "He's just deeply concentrating and this is taking a long time." The X-men had been pacing the hall outside of the Cerebro room, eager for any news of mutants back on earth. The Professor was taking so long that they finally gave up and most of them moved to the rec room. After even more time passed, they started dinner.

The Professor joined his team during dinner. Heads turned and forks were put down when he entered the room. The Professor took a seat at the table. His face was difficult to read.

"I have some news and information," he began. "I am frustrated because I do not have all the details. Some of the information is hazy. This Cerebro is just not as clear as the other one. It takes me about five times as much effort to gain a fraction of the information. But having said that," he paused, "I will tell you what I know. I will start with good news. Nightcrawler lives."

Several X-men gasped and exchanged excited looks. "Nightcrawler is alive?" Rogue asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes," the Professor said. "I am certain of it. Unfortunately, I was not able to establish a connection with him…..I was simply able to pick up on his mental 'signature' and sense that he lives."

"He must have escaped during our battle with the FOH," Cyclops said.

"I was so sure that I saw him jump from rooftop onto garage," Colossus said. "Garage was on fire and I think then that he die for sure."

"I cannot imagine that he escaped from that without injury," Storm said. "But let's be thankful. He's alive. I hope our teammate is doing well."

"I have more news," the Professor said. He enjoyed sensing the happiness the others felt at the news of Nightcrawler. "Much of this news is good too. Our three friends from Alpha Flight are alive as well. Shaman, Northstar and Jeanne Marie have survived."

More looks were exchanged. "That's wonderful!" Iceman said.

"Yes," the Professor said. "Furthermore, I was able to dialog for a bit with Shaman. He is not a telepath but I was able to access his mind and have an exchange, of sorts, with him. He `told' me that their shuttle was easily able to slip passed the Friends of Humanity's defenses due to the cloaking device. They returned to Canada to search for their families." The Professor paused. "Shaman's wife Silver Moon and their daughter are alive and he is reunited with them. Unfortunately, both Jeanne Marie's husband and Northstar's partner are dead. They were killed by FOH at the time Alpha Flight was abducted." The Professor continued, "Jeanne Marie's son is alive, though. The boy is living with his paternal grandparents. Sadly, the grandparents do not allow Jeanne Marie any contact with her son. They view her as a bad influence and they blame her for their son's death. I suppose it goes without saying that Jeanne Marie and Northstar are quite heartbroken over this."

"How sad," Jean said, holding the sleeping Charlotte in her arms. "To get that far, make it all the way back to earth, and then find that your spouse is dead. And to have a child but be unable to have any contact with him."

"It's tragic," Cyclops agreed. He could hardly imagine. If Jean died and he was barred from seeing Charlotte - Scott questioned whether he would be able to even go on living. What would keep him from losing his sanity? What kept Jeanne Marie alive? It had to be her strong relationship with her brother and the hope she would one day see her son again.

"Shaman and his family and Jeanne Marie and Northstar have been living together, underground since they returned to earth," the Professor continued. "They are fairly certain that FOH is unaware that they are back on earth but they feel they must remain underground and avoid FOH at all costs. That is probably a very wise and safe assumption. They are living in the Canadian wilderness, just getting by. There are some churches that help them on occasion, and many of the native peoples of Canada assist them from time to time as well. Shaman is quite worried, because th twins have been talking about…abducting Jeanne Marie's son. He fears they will be caught and their punishment will be severe. But she is desperate to get her son back."

The Professor paused and looked around the room. He sensed a number of emotions from his X-men. He knew his next bit of news was unlikely to lift the mood at all. "There is another piece of information that I should mention," he said. "Shaman is deeply worried about rumors he's heard regarding the treatment of our fellow mutants on earth. Given that he and the others live underground and are generally on the run, it is difficult for them to separate truth from rumor or learn what is truly happening in the world. As is the case when we left, the news media is controlled mostly by FOH. But Shaman has heard that the Friends of Humanity…." he paused, "are rounding up mutants and putting them inside what they call `Mutant Containment Centers.'" The Professor paused again as he sensed sickened feelings in the pits of the others' stomachs. "That was all the information I was able to obtain. Perhaps these `Mutant Containment Centers' exist and perhaps they do not. I was unable to find out."

The Professor then told the group that that was the extent of the information he had been able to gather during this bout with Cerebro II. He was mentally fatigued, though he said he will try to learn more the next day. "The trouble with this new Cerebro," he explained, "is that it is very difficult to acquire specific information. I tried to draw up anything on Moira McTaggert, and on your family, Jean. But Cerebro II does not do well with specifics. It is more like there are random energy patterns floating around, and when I see one that I know, I can grasp at it. As I did with Shaman and, to a much lesser extent, Nightcrawler. However, I will certainly try again."

After the Professor recounted what he had learned from Cerebro II, the X-men discussed what to do from this point forward.

"We gotta return to earth," Gambit said. "We gotta see if dere any truth about dese 'Mutant Containment Centers.'"

"Yeah, and if they do exist, we gotta break the mutants the hell outta there!" Rogue added.

The Professor spoke, "I would propose, instead, an exploratory mission to earth. We return to earth and see what information we can glean. We can get within range to pick up news reports, and maybe I will learn more from Cerebro II. Once we acquire information about the happenings on earth, we can then decide what our next course of action will be."

The group liked this idea. Most nodded and expressed agreement with the plan.

Cyclops and Jean looked at each other. Without using his telepathic abilities, the Professor knew their concern, as they had expressed it to him before. "Professor," Scott began, "I think that is a fine plan, but Jean and I - and Jubilee - have a concern about it. Getting closer to earth could put our children at risk."

Jean nodded. "We understand that if we remain cloaked, and if we go to earth simply with the purpose of gathering information, our risks are fewer. But we never know what might happen. We're very concerned about the possibility of anything happening to Charlotte and Aurora."

Jubilee nodded to show her agreement with the couple as Scott continued, "Somehow being a parent changes everything," he said. "I just don't feel comfortable taking risks that I never would've thought twice about in the past. We don't know what sort of new weapons FOH has. Maybe they can detect our cloaking device now."

"I couldn't stand it if anything happened to Rory," Jubilee said. "I might be able to survive if we ended up captured again, but if anything happened to my baby…..I would go crazy. It's just unthinkable." She shuddered at the notion of FOH ever getting their hands on her daughter. What would they do? Would they kill her instantly? Would they somehow discover that her "father" had been one of their kind….and then take the girl away, to be raised by members of the FOH? Would FOH keep her as a slave? The thoughts made her skin crawl.

Storm nodded, "I believe their concern is valid. Even if we act with the utmost caution, we do not know what surprises await us. Before the Endarians rescued us, we came very close to being recaptured by the Friends of Humanity. Granted, we had decloaked so we could beam that dilithium on board our ship…but that should serve as a reminder to us that we may never be as secure as we think we are."

"I feel very torn," Jean admitted. "On one hand, I desperately want to make contact with my family and to help the mutants back on earth. But Scott and I have been discussing this for weeks, and we will not do anything that we think might put our baby at risk." She paused and looked around the table. "There is another factor influencing Scott and I. We've been meaning to tell the group for days now. I'm almost sure that I'm pregnant again."

This bit of information was a surprise to most everyone.

"Really?" Bobby asked. "Congratulations!" His sentiments were echoed by everyone else around the table.

"Thank you," Jean said. She and Scott exchanged a smile. "This happened a bit earlier than we had anticipated, but we're glad," she said, sounding just a bit chagrined. Jean's mother had once told her that becoming pregnant while still in the stage of breast feeding a baby was very unlikely, if not impossible. Taking that advice, Jean and Scott had not used any precautions….and now Jean had missed a period, when her cycles were always like clockwork. Plus, she just *knew* that she was pregnant; she could feel it. Jean and Scott weren't upset over this, though, because they wanted another baby. They also liked the idea of having two so close in age.

The Professor looked at the three members of his team who were parents. He understood their emotions because he felt that way every single time Scott and Jean and others went away on a mission. Every time he sent them against Magneto, the Sentinels or any of their other countless foes, the Professor had felt a stab in his chest and the crushing fear that one of his "children" would not return. He had never really expressed that to any of them in so many words though. But that day he had complete sympathy for the viewpoint of those who were parents. "Do you have any suggestions for what we might do?" he asked. "I sense that many of us wish to get closer to earth and gather information. Is there a way we can do so that you would feel comfortable that your children were safe?"

Cyclops drew a deep breath. "I don't really like this idea, but Jean and I think it might be the only way. What if….what if Jean, Jubilee, and I-and the two babies-were to stay here? On An'zhina."

Surprise was now written on the face of many of the X-men. Many gasped and exchanged looks. Scott looked at their faces and prepared to speak his mind. These people were his friends, his family. He reminded himself that he could speak openly and say what he needed to. "I hope that none of you will view this as if….we're trying to shirk our duty or anything like that. I tell you, I never expected that becoming a father would impact my life so much, but it has. Absolutely everything is different now that Charlotte is here, and now that we have another one on the way. Everything is different."

Storm nodded. "I do not have any biological children of my own, but I completely understand. And I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I would never view your decision as shirking duty."

"Family must come first," Colossus said, remembering his baby sister Illyana and feeling a stab of pain, even though it had been years since she died. What he wouldn't give to have her back, to hold her once again. "I understand completely."

"Me too," Bobby added. "I mean, I've never been a parent but I totally understand and I'd probably do the same thing."

Most of the others expressed their agreement.

Jean added , "Queen Marina has been so hospitable to us, and I know that she has nothing up her sleeve. She wouldn't mind if Scott, Jubilee and I and the babies remained on An'zhina. We have everything we need there."

Jubilee said, "We could keep one of the shuttles here with us, just in case. There are still two shuttles on board the ship."

Bobby suddenly, inexplicably felt a lump in his throat. It came on suddenly and started to overwhelm him. His eyes watered. Jean turned to him, "Bobby?" she asked softly.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice shaking. `How completely mortifying,' he thought, 'to cry in front of everyone.' "Somehow," he explained, "just the thought of any of us separating from the others…." A tear rolled down his cheek as his voice trailed off.

Jean got up and hugged him. She had tears in her eyes too. "Scott and I have had many long discussions about this during the past few weeks. The thought of being apart from the rest of you makes us very sad too."

Jubilee was sitting next to Bobby, and joined him and Jean in the hug. She was crying softly now, too. The small group of X-men had been together, day in and day out, for so long now. It was hard to imagine life any different and hard to imagine any of them not being there.

Pain flashed in Wolverine's eyes. "It's gonna be ok," he said, his gaze towards Jean, Bobby and Jubilee. "We'll be prepared for anything. We'll be cloaked. And - much as I'd like to kick some FOH butt - we're just going to get information. That's all." As the words rolled off his tongue, his heart broke at the thought of being away from Jean, Jubilee and their babies who were like his nieces.

"We will not make any decisions until we return and consult you," Storm said.

"On the positive side," Hank began, "we will not be gone long. Thanks to the improvements to our engines made by the Endarians, the speed of our ship is greatly enhanced. The fastest speed of this vessel used to be warp five, but now we can travel at speeds of up to warp eight. What used to be a four month journey to earth will now be a five week journey." And all the X-men knew that despite their superior technology, the Endarians would not be able to help them reach Earth any faster than that. Queen Marina had told them that providing assistance such as a faster ship would run counter to the xenophobic feelings of her people and she would not be able to get it approved. The Endarians were excessively protective of their starships.

"You're right," Jubilee said. "It'll hardly be any time at all."

"We all will be jus fine," Gambit said. "We jus find out what we can, and den we head back here so we all decide what to do."

"We'll be back before you know it!" Rogue said.

* * *

That evening, several X-men sat in the rec room, listening to m, conversing, and watching as Colossus perfected one of his paintings. Storm, Wolverine, Jubilee, Rogue and Gambit watched as Colossus worked on a depiction of the stunning view from the surface of An'zhina - the turquoise color of the water against the white sand of the beaches with the pink and yellow sun in the background. He was painting from memory, but that was all he needed. "This beach on An'zhina is beautiful sight, yes?" Colossus said.

"Yes, it is," Storm said. "Though I cannot decide which I found more beautiful, that beach or the lake on the Paradise planet."

Rogue smiled and looked at Gambit. He winked at her. That lake back on the Paradise planet would always carry special memories for both of them. He put his arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder. She tried to replace the disturbing thoughts going through her mind with the exquisite memories of those days.

Jubilee tried to pay attention to the conversation but her mind couldn't stay focussed either. She knew Aurora was sleeping peacefully back in their room, but horrendous thoughts circled through her mind. Unable to control them, she put her head in her hands.

Storm looked her way. "Jubilee?" Wolverine turned his head towards the young woman too.

Jubilee looked up at them. "I feel sick," she muttered. Her body seemed to shake.

"What's wrong, Jubilee?" Storm asked, having to stop herself from calling her young friend "child" instead of "Jubilee."

"I just feel sick and nauseated at the thought of those….Mutant Containment Centers. What if it's not just a rumor?" As she spoke, Storm got up and sat next to her, pulling her into an embrace. "Can you imagine it? Mutants forced to go through what we went through on this ship. The thought just makes me sick." Her face was pale as the images replayed in her mind.

Gambit held onto Rogue a bit tighter. He knew what was going through her mind too, and he murmured a few comforting words in her ear. She squeezed him tighter now.

"That is next logical step for FOH," Colossus said glumly. "They always say they want to exterminate us. I will not be surprise if these Centers do exist and if they really death camps. Or torture camps."

Storm took a deep breath. She knew Colossus's words were logical, but they were unlikely to lift the mood. "We have to remind ourselves that at this point, it is just a rumor. We do not know the truth now. Perhaps this is not the case. Perhaps life for mutants on earth is better now." Even as she spoke the words, Storm doubted them. Everyone in the room knew she was merely trying to console Jubilee.

Wolverine moved so he sat on the other side of Jubilee. He put an arm around her. "We'll find out what's goin on, darlin. And we'll take care of it. We're still the X-men."

* * *

Wolverine detested goodbyes. So much of his past was gone from him, so many memories inaccessible, but he knew that his hidden history must have included many painful goodbyes to loved ones.

Damn it all. Ever since Jean and Scott had married, he'd given up trying to win her heart but that didn't mean he loved her any less. And Jubilee, his spunky little sister. His mind flashed back to those awful days, now so long ago, when she had lain there like a stone statue after the FOH attacks. She was now like her old self, only stronger. He loved her more than ever. And he loved the two little babies like crazy, so much so that he no longer cared if the others knew. Shit, even Cyclops had kind of grown on him, even though he could still be a pain in the ass.

Wolverine shrugged and told himself he was being unreasonable. The X-men were returning to earth solely for the purpose of gathering information. Five weeks to get there, and five weeks back. He would be reunited with these people in no time at all. And if the X-men were indeed heading into danger, it was far, far better that these people he loved were remaining on An'zhina.

The last couple of days had been a blur. The X-men met with Queen Marina and her associates to update them on their plans and confirm that everything with An'zhina would be set. Jean, Scott and Jubilee moved their personal possessions to the building on the moon, preparing to make it their temporary home. The play pen and all the other baby supplies were beamed from the ship to the moon. All the X-men slept there for a night, ensuring that all the replicators and other equipment were functioning properly. One shuttle from the ship was flown to the surface of An'zhina and parked there.

Finally they reached the stage when all the X-men knew they were only delaying the inevitable. It was time to start saying goodbye.

"The babies really love pulling on your facial hair," Jean said, smiling as Charlotte tugged on Wolverine's hair.

"You be a good girl, now, pumpkin," Wolverine said, looking at the bundle in his arms and into Charlotte's brilliant blue eyes which sparkled as the baby returned his gaze. "Your Uncle Wolvie will miss you." He handed Charlotte back to Jean.

"How `bout a hug for me?" Jean asked. Wolverine put his arms around her, even though the baby was between them. Jean kissed his cheek.

"Take care of yourself, Jeannie," was all he could manage.

"I will. You do the same, Logan."

He broke off the embrace. Cyclops stood next to them, and Wolverine turned towards his old foe. Wolverine tried to think of something to say to the man he had once hated but now respected. Words failed him though.

"I'll take good care of them," Cyclops offered.

"I know you will, One-Eye," Wolverine said. He extended his hand and Scott shook it. They exchanged a look that conveyed all that needed to be said.

Wolverine then turned towards Jubilee and her baby. This wouldn't be any easier. Jubilee threw her arms around him and hugged him to her tightly, not letting go for a long time. Wolverine kissed her forehead. "Keep practicing your karate," he suggested. "Someday you'll get better than me."

Jubilee smiled through her tears. "I doubt that, but I will try. You never know." She wanted to say more but was getting choked on her tears. She stepped back and picked up Aurora, holding her out to Wolverine. He kissed the girl before handing her back to her mom.

The goodbyes were not easier for any of the X-men. For a year and a half, the 11 teammates had been each other's only family. No, they had been each other's only family for far longer than that, for all of them except Bobby. Now the X-men would be separated from Jean, Cyclops, Jubilee and the children for two and a half to three months, if all went well. * If all went well* was the key.

The Professor did not attempt to hold back his tears as he bid farewell to his two favorite students and their child who they'd named after him. Part of him wanted to remain here, with them. But he knew he would be needed to use Cerebro II, and he knew he had to see, firsthand, the situation back on the planet that he still held out hope for.

He embraced Jean and Scott for as long as he could, and he held his granddaughter tightly as she looked up at him. Charles looked down at Charlotte and knew that she somehow sensed his sadness.

"Don't forget about the photo," Jean reminded her teacher. Jean and Scott had given one of the pictures from the camera that Marina gave them to the Professor. It was a photo taken by Storm of Jean and Scott holding Charlotte. Their names were handwritten by Jean on the back. Jean wanted the Professor to have it with him "just in case"….she knew full well that the trip to earth was solely for the purpose of gathering information, but the X-men were used to expecting the unexpected. In case the Professor or the others should ever be in a situation where they might be able to take something down to earth, then she wanted this photo to be given to her parents, if at all possible. It never hurt to be prepared. The picture would be a good way for her family to see that all was well. At this point, her family surely did not know even whether she was alive or dead.

Bobby and Jubilee held each other for a long time before they let each other go. He also held Aurora for a long time. He'd really bonded to this baby, and knew he would miss bouncing her on his lap and the feel of her baby-soft little hands and feet. This time, Bobby managed to keep from crying though. He and Hank had a long talk the night before. They *would* return to Jubilee and the others, and they would return soon. Everything would be alright. The X-men and their ship were strong and powerful.

Each of the X-men took a long time to bid their farewells to Jean, Cyclops, Jubilee and the children. The small group that was remaining behind on An'zhina waved goodbye as the rest of the team beamed back aboard the ship which was orbiting above.

Scott's arm was around Jean, and she rested her head on his shoulder. They had discussed this decision a thousand times, but that didn't stop the lump from forming in Jean's throat. /It's the best thing for Charlotte and for the one on the way/ Scott reminded her.

/I know, Slim. We need to be safe and sound to raise our family. And we're just being paranoid about the fate of the others because we've been through so much./ Jean thought.

/They will be fine. They'll be back before we know it./

The couple noticed Jubilee softly crying again, and they moved to comfort her.

TO BE CONTINUED


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

So we headed away from Endaria, with the blessing of the Queen. She told us to return anytime, and I dearly hoped we'd return soon.

I gotta say that none of us really thought the news we'd encounter back on earth would be good. Storm kept trying to remind us to stay positive, but thoughts of Mutant Containment Centers haunted my every dream.

The Professor was able to stay in psychic contact with Jean (just by using their powers; without using Cerebro) for about a week or so into our journey. Everything was normal and fine back on An'zhina, he'd report to us. But after not too long, the distance was too great and too many lightyears separated us for the Professor and Jean to be able to mentally "hook up."

Aurora and Charlotte had been our main source of entertainment for quite some time. But without them, and given the situation we were potentially heading into, most of our days were spent in the Danger Room. We trained constantly, five or six hours a day which was far more than we had for a long, long time. We X-men fought together as a team during countless simulated battles. Even though it was exhausting, I felt myself growing stronger and stronger as my reflexes in battle were honed. Both Storm and Wolverine complimented me, saying I had made a big improvement. I practically glowed with pride at their praise.

And when we weren't in the Danger Room, we were on the bridge or in engineering, fighting simulated battles against other simulated starships. Storm was insistent that we spend the bulk of our days working on such preparations. Our vacation days clearly were over.

Not that I totally minded. It felt good to get back on a more structured schedule, and we all needed things to keep our minds away from what we might encounter back on earth. It was also a good way for me to keep from missing Jubilee and Aurora (as well as Scott and Jean, and their baby. I was close to all of them, though closer to Jubilee and Aurora.)

The Professor spent several hours a day with Cerebro II, and for the longest time, he had little or no information to report back. I could tell that using this version of Cerebro was very mentally taxing for him. He often needed to rest a day or two in between bouts with it, and obviously he was fighting frustration with the limitations of this Cerebro. He told us that he badly wanted to contact Moira MacTaggert and check in with her, and his inability to do so was aggravating. He once likened using this Cerebro to fishing in a very large pond with a miniscule amount of fish-your chances of success were slim at best.

I was just glad for the information he had reported back on Northstar and the other members of Alpha Flight. I was so glad that they were alive. The fact that they made it gave me hope. And I can't say that I knew Nightcrawler well personally, but the thought that he was still alive bolstered all our spirits.

We were perhaps three weeks away from earth when we sat down to dinner one evening, and the first thing the Professor told us was that he'd made contact with another X-man. Our attention riveted to him, he spoke. "I spent hours with Cerebro II this afternoon. This time I was able to connect with one of our own." He paused, and it looked as if he were gathering his thoughts or searching for the right words. "Psylocke. I was able to get inside her mind for a bit."

"Did she communicate with you?" Storm asked eagerly. "Did you have an exchange as you did with Shaman?"

"No," the Professor said. "Our hook up was one-way."

"Isn't she a telepath?" I asked. "I would think it would be easier to have a two-way communication with a fellow telepath."

"She is. And normally, it would be," he said, slowly. "Psylocke's mental condition is not good right now. I am frustrated now because I was unable to get any level of detail about her life or why specifically she was in….such a state. But from Psylocke, I was able to receive only two very concrete….messages." He paused. "One was that she is in misery right now."

His last sentence rang in our ears. I gulped as I looked at my teammates. I then glanced down at my dinner but my appetite was suddenly gone.

"The other," the Professor said, "was a plea for help."

Everyone's eyes reflected the fear and concern that I felt.

The Professor flashed a brief smile. "I am sorry if this sounds melodramatic. And I wish that I had better news to report." He shook his head. "That feeling of misery has remained with me since then. It greatly disturbs me that one of my pupils is in such a state."

"Especially one such as Psylocke," Storm added. "Mentally, she was very strong. It is difficult to hear right now that she is in misery and crying out for help."

Needless to say, our dinner conversation didn't exactly flow from that point onwards. We all looked down at our plates and ate in silence. As I moved my food around the plate, I was wrapped up in my thoughts and knew I'd be asking Hank if he wanted to be brushed that evening.

* * *

"Dat feels good, chere," Gambit murmured as Rogue massaged his back, straddling him on the bed. "Mmmmm, I feel dat tension jus evaporatin away."

"I'm glad you do, sugar," Rogue said quietly. Gambit had given her a massage moments ago, but she still felt anxious. Like many of the other X-men, her dinner that evening remained mostly uneaten.

"How `bout a kiss now?" Gambit asked, raising his eyebrows and rolling onto his back when the massage was over.

"Okay, but I'm not in the mood to….you know," Rogue said, her eyes looking downwards.

"You, not in the mood? Let de history books make a note of dis moment!" Gambit saw that his attempt at levity was not working. He sat up and hugged Rogue. As always now, whenever the two were alone, she wore her collar.

"Remy, I just feel sick," Rogue said, resting her head on his strong shoulder. "And I feel so scared. It's gotta be the Friends of Humanity. What else could be wrong with Psylocke that she's in misery and pleading for help?"

"Come now, chere," Gambit said, soothingly as he stroked her wavy hair. "We jus don't know what is really going on. For all we know, she's sad cause of a death in her family or something." Even as he spoke the words, Gambit failed to convince himself, let alone Rogue. He tried a different approach. "Chere, just take a deep breath. We know dere's nothing we can do until we get closer to earth and find out more. We can't do anything now."

Rogue nodded. "I know, Remy. But all these thoughts keep goin through my head and it just kills me. And I never felt such * fear* before. I was never afraid of going into battle against the Sentinels or Magneto or even Apocalypse. I didn't really think about it and it didn't bother me at all. But the thought of the FOH and these….Containment Centers. It turns my stomach."

"Is only natural we feel dat way, Rogue. FOH hurt us more den anyone. Dey demoralized us, dey got under our skin."

"They raped me. That was the most awful thing I ever lived through. Now who knows what they're doing."

"Dat was the most awful thing dat Gambit live through, too. Jus the thought all that time of what they were doing to you. It make me so angry and so scared for you." He paused and stroked her face. "But whatever is goin on back on earth, we will survive it, chere. We love each other and we're together."

"I know that, Remy and I thank my lucky stars every day that you're alright and we're together." She sighed and looked down. "But it ain't us that I'm worried about. It's them. It's every mutant back on earth."

The couple went to bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Rogue did eventually manage to fall asleep, though her dreams were not pleasant ones.

* * *

After more time passed, we were close enough to earth to be able to pick up the news. After an entire morning spent working in the Danger Room, we gathered around the viewscreen on the bridge as the Professor pulled up the news.

When I was younger, it used to be that several different networks aired news programs. As the years went by, the number of different stations gradually dwindled as they all were bought out one by one. At the time we left earth, there was only one news channel, run by the mega-corporation GenCore. And we all knew that FOH contributed heavily to GenCore. So when the Professor fiddled with the computer to call up the news, GenCoreNEWS was what we expected to see.

And we were not surprised. As soon as the news screen came to life, we watched in silence, waiting for news of our home planet. The usual comely news reporters of GenCoreNEWS came on to our screen. And although we were not surprised that GenCoreNEWS was still the only mainstream source of news, there *was* something that surprised us. At the time we left earth, mutants were in the news constantly. All the time. Even when I lived away from the X-men and was trying my best to forget that I was a mutant, I could not avoid seeing and hearing about mutants every time I picked up a paper or watched the news.

We stood around watching five hours before any mention was made of mutants. Our surprise gradually turned to boredom. Finally, after five hours just a brief mention was made of two mutants in Italy "going on a rampage." Very few details were provided in this report and no images were shown. The attractive young reporter simply mentioned that two mutants "rioted" in Italy, causing damage to public property and injuring three bystanders. She added that they were arrested and taken in for questioning.

After that brief report, hours passed again with no mention of mutants. I can also say that basically nothing shocking or surprising seemed to have happened on earth during the year and half of our absence…..at least nothing that GenCoreNEWS was going to report on. As we all talked about numerous times during the bland news reports, we knew GenCoreNEWS was not exactly giving us (or anyone) the full story. Eventually, we agreed to take turns monitoring the news so we could resume training that day.

We left the news on during dinner. As I was passing the string beans to Hank, Wolverine's ears perked up and he turned towards the monitor. We quickly silenced our conversations.

"And coming up at ten," a reporter's voice said, "on Head-to-Head, we will debate the Mutant Containment Centers. Friends of Humanity spokeswoman Jennifer White will face off against Dr. Veena Qadir, an expert on mutants. Tonight at 10!"

As GenCoreNEWS cut to another commercial, The Professor spoke. "Dr. Veena Qadir. I know that name. She's a young doctor, not a mutant but one with an interest in us. She spent a few months with Moira MacTaggert several years ago to assist her with research. Moira thought very highly of her and said she's sympathetic towards mutants."

Rogue's face was pale, her mouth hung open. "Did you hear what the guy said though? 'Mutant Containment Centers.' They do exist." The despair in her voice was clear. Gambit put an arm around her.

I put my head in my hands and tried to take some deep breaths. When I raised my head back up, I saw that my teammates appeared as dejected as I was.

The Professor tried to soothe us. "Remember, we do not know exactly what these Containment Centers are. Let us try to not let our imaginations run wild. We do not have all the facts at our disposal." He sounded almost as if trying to convince himself though.

"I wonder what the nature of this debate will be," Storm said, sounding as calm as ever. "We know that GenCore receives financial backing from the Friends of Humanity, or at least it did when we left."

"And we knew the news is damn one-sided. All we're seeing is what the corporate suits at GenCore want us to see," Wolverine added.

Hank added, "One wonders about the accuracy of the information we will see during tonight's debate."

The hours passed slowly as we waited for the GenCoreNEWS debate to begin. No one was into our card game that evening. The station periodically showed brief promos for the debate. I gotta say during the last year and a half I have learned so many card games and played all of them ad nauseum. I jokingly hoped we'd get to pick up a few board games on earth.

At long last, the debate began. I was surprised that FOH's spokesperson was a woman since you never saw any women among their ranks. Jennifer White was young and attractive, and clad in an FOH uniform, except she wore a skirt instead of pants. Dr. Qadir also was young and clad in a conservative navy blue suit.

The debate began with each "side" being allowed to present some background information about the issue at hand. Jennifer White went up first. I'll try to remember everything that was said. Basically, she talked about FOH having millions of members in the US alone, and that it was founded to protect humanity "from the violent and aggressive" mutants. She went on to say that FOH had set up Mutant Containment Centers "to protect American citizens from these dangerous mutants." She said that all mutants-registered and unregistered-were being "moved" into these centers "for their own protection and for ours." She said that three centers were established in the US, one in Canada, four in Europe, and FOH chapters in Asia would be opening numerous centers "within 16 months."

I felt the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't surprised. None of us were. That didn't make watching this any easier. Wolverine growled as Jennifer spoke. When she finished, he stood up and gauged a big hole in the wall.

"Wolverine!" Storm reprimanded him.

"I've seen it before! Concentration camps, emaciated bodies, genocide!" He looked as if he was going to get out of control in a second or two.

"Would you tone it down so we can hear dis?" Gambit asked, clearly pissed off. Dr. Qadir was starting to speak and we were missing it.

"Shut up, Cajun," Wolverine said, taking a menacing step towards Gambit. Wolverine's claws were still extended.

"Stop it, both of you!" the Professor said, his voice stern and clearly nearing anger.

Wolverine looked as if he were about to attack Gambit. Rogue, the strongest one of all of us, moved as if to defend her lover. Storm and the Professor both gave Wolverine unmistakable looks. "Gambit is not the target of your anger," the Professor said firmly.

Wolverine growled and stormed out of the room. Storm hesitated, as if she were deciding whether or not to follow, but then she just turned her attention back towards the monitor. We all did, since we'd already missed part of what Dr. Veena Qadir said.

Back to the debate, Veena was saying that it was unfair to imprison mutants who have committed no crime. "We forget sometimes that mutants are human beings," we heard her say. "Those mutants who misuse their powers and break the law should be appropriately punished. But every mutant in the country is being rounded up, taken from their families, and forced to live in these….Containment Centers. That is un-American, illegal and immoral." Dr. Qadir spoke in a calm and straightforward manner, without passion or anger in her voice.

"Dr Qadir," the FOH spokeswoman began, "since we've set up the Mutant Containment Centers, violent crimes against humans have dropped by over 35%. These are violent crimes committed by mutants against innocent American citizens and they must be stopped. Redirecting mutants into Containment Centers is the most efficient way to do this, and most law-abiding American citizens agree."

I was so angry and so upset at that point that I just don't remember everything that was said. I know that Veena somehow got back to the point about it being un-American to take innocent people from their homes and imprison them. Jennifer began her rebuttal, "The mutants are not being imprisoned. The Mutant Containment Centers are more similar to college dormitories, not prisons. Our Friends of Humanity soldiers run the Centers and they ensure that the mutants are treated with respect and care. The mutants living there have very easy and simple lives in very good conditions."

"Ms. White-" Veena began.

"*Mrs* White," Jennifer cut her off.

"Mrs. White, I cannot confirm or deny what you say about the living conditions in the Containment Centers, because the Friends of Humanity has not allowed any independent investigators to inspect them," Veena said. "The Friends of Humanity founded these centers and they run them. They have not allowed any other organization to so much as visit the centers. We have only the word of FOH to go on when they say that mutants are not being mistreated at these centers."

At one point, Jennifer allowed photographs from the Containment Centers to be shown in front of the camera. We all leaned forward in our seats to get a better look. Butterflies were dancing in my stomach as we looked at a photograph of about 7 mutants sitting around a table eating pizza. It was hard to read their expressions but they looked happy enough. The mutants all had collars around their necks and none of us recognized any of them. "Here is a picture from last Friday's pizza party at our Center in Canada," Mrs. White said, a broad smile on her face. "We frequently have pizza parties and movie nights for the mutants' entertainment!"

"Well, pictures are nice," Dr. Qadir began, "but for all we know, these mutants were forced at gun point to pose like this. Mrs. White, why will FOH not allow any independent investigators to inspect the Containment Centers?"

The FOH spokeswoman completely brushed off the question and just went on to repeat how crime had dropped since these centers were established and to talk about the fun things "the mutants" experienced in these centers.

"I can't take any more!" Rogue exclaimed at one point during the debate, throwing her plate in the direction of the screen. She got up and left. Gambit followed her. I strongly suspected the Danger Room was being put to use that evening and I longed for the blissful days we spent on vacation on the Paradise planet.

One thing I gotta say: given that FOH was presumably still supporting GenCore, the debate was, not as totally one-sided as one might think it would be. Dr Qadir was allowed to make her points, and she debated well. As I said before, she didn't display a lot of emotion or passion around the topic, but that could be a good thing too in a debate, since excessive emotion usually doesn't come across well. The Professor, Storm, Hank, Colossus and I sat around afterwards to discuss the debate and I think we were grasping at straws at first, trying to look for positives.

"But the fact of the matter is," Storm began, "we now know that FOH is rounding up and imprisoning mutants. The very thought churns my stomach."

"Is it another Holocaust?" the Professor asked softly, shaking his head.

We had no answers, and I had only the sick feeling of naked fear in my stomach.

* * *

Later that evening, Storm knocked on the door to Wolverine's room. "Come in, Storm," he said, the tone of his voice leaving no doubt about his mood.

When Storm entered the room, he did not look up. Before she could speak, he said, "No, I don't wanna talk about to-" Wolverine stopped short when he saw Storm.

Storm was wearing an outfit that she'd replicated a few weeks ago, after having received an ok from the Professor to use some dilithium. It was an elegant midnight blue robe, underneath which she wore a matching negligee. It was not a revealing ensemble, but it was elegant and classy-befitting a queen. Wolverine had seen it before, but just looking at Storm so attired, with her white hair standing out against the deep color of her robe, lifted his mood considerably. He inhaled deeply, drinking in her scent which was giving off unmistakable signals.

"I did not come here to ask you to talk, Logan," Storm said simply.

Wolverine smiled. He never had to second-guess with Storm. She would not have made this offer if she did not want to. He knew she also wanted to do something that would make them both feel good, help take their minds off the pain, if only for a while. He stepped towards her and embraced his lover.

"Now remember, Logan, don't tear this one," Storm said gently, smiling. "I like this negligee and I do not want to have to re-replicate it again."

* * *

The Professor had been trying non-stop to establish contact with Moira MacTaggert ever since Cerebro II was created. A very patient man, Charles's patience was being pushed to its limits. Back when he lived on earth, Moira had been the person he was closest to outside of the X-men. Even taking the X-men into account, Charles and Moira had a special bond with each other. He had known her for decades, and they had even been engaged to be married for a while.

First thing on the morning following the debate over Mutant Containment Centers, Charles returned to the Cerebro room again, attempting to learn whatever he could-but especially attempting to reach Moira. As usually the case with Cerebro II, the Professor was disappointed when he was unable to contact her.

But if he could have seen into Moira's life at that time, he would have learned that her patience was also being pushed to the limit.

Moira sat with her cup of tea, looking out the window as the rain as poured down. She felt a chill in her small, Scotland apartment. Heating bills were so expensive lately. She got up and found herself another sweater. As she walked back to the tiny kitchen, she passed the window overlooking the front of the apartment complex. No luck. The mail truck was not there yet. Moira sighed and glanced at her watch. She had several hours to go before the next mail delivery.

Letters were few and far between, but they were now her only contact with her husband and step-daughter. Her day revolved around mail delivery, and the postal workers all knew her by name.

Moira's research facility on Muir Island had long been closed; the government decided to no longer support research on mutants. That is, any research not being conducted by the Friends of Humanity. Moira, her husband Sean Cassidy (who used the code name Banshee when he worked with the X-men in the past), her eighteen year old son from a previous marriage Kevin (who often used the code name Proteus), and nineteen year old step-daughter Siryn had been forced to sell their spacious house and relocate to an apartment until Moira and Sean could find work again. No one wanted to hire a "mutant lover", and Sean, a mutant himself, had an even lesser chance of finding employment. They made ends meet mostly due to Moira's inheritance from her parents, though she and Sean still needed to dip into their retirement savings too. The small apartment had been cramped for space, Siryn and Proteus indignant at being forced to share a tiny bedroom. The four members of the family barely fit inside the kitchen all at the same time and were constantly colliding with each other whenever they attempted to maneuver around it.

The cramped feeling was gone now because Moira was all alone. They had come for them four months ago. The Friends of Humanity knocked on the door one evening, and requested that Sean, Proteus and Siryn, as registered mutants, come to the station at once for questioning. Before they could resist, collars were placed around their necks and they were dragged away as Moira watched in terror.

The ensuing weeks were a blur. The day following the arrest of her family, Moira spent all day on the phone-to the local FOH chapter, the police, the media, and the government. Moira meticulously logged all of her telephone calls, and she placed 67 of them that day. The media was completely disinterested. The police and government assured her that what FOH was doing was completely legal. "You're saying your husband, your son and your step-daughter are all mutants?" one police officer asked her. "That's disgusting! What kind of a mutie-lover are you? We should come down there and arrest you, too!"

Moira almost wished they had. Since her family had been taken away, she had not been permitted to visit them at the Containment Center. Her only contact with them was through the mail.

The mail finally arrived that day. Her hands trembling, Moira sorted through the envelopes as she made her way back to her apartment from the lobby where the mailboxes were kept. As was the case nearly every day, Moira felt a combination of disappointment and relief when she looked at the usual bills, catalogs, and junk mail. There was no letter from Sean or Siryn. And thank God, there was no letter from FOH like the one she had received five weeks ago-the cold, emotionless writing against the white FOH stationary informing her that her son had regrettably been killed "during an outbreak of mutant-on-mutant violence" at the Containment Center.

After receiving that horrible letter, Moira had pounded down the doors of the local FOH chapter, the police, the media and the government demanding an investigation, demanding some answers. They told her nothing. FOH would not provide any more information other than what had been in the letter, and the letter never even came close to describing what exactly happened. Moira was not allowed to recover the body or even see the remains of her only child. According to FOH, Proteus and several other mutants had gotten into a violent fight, and Proteus was killed during it. "Mutants, as we all know, are extremely violent and it is not always possible to control outbreaks such as this," the FOH letter had read. The last sentence of the letter was, "We are sorry for your loss."

Moira hadn't received a letter from Sean now for nearly four weeks. This frightened her. Would he be next? Was it already too late?

Siryn's last letter had arrived two weeks ago, however, Moira was certain that the letter was not written by Siryn. She was certain that none of the letters "Siryn" had sent were actually written by Siryn. Comparing the handwriting in the letters against the handwriting in her step-daughter's diary, Moira's keen eye detected that someone fairly skilled at forging handwriting was penning Siryn's letters. Even if it weren't for the handwriting being slightly off, Moira knew from the tone and style that Siryn was not writing these letters.

'Maybe they are all dead,' Moira thought. It was quite possible that everyone on the planet that she loved was gone, having perished in the Mutant Containment Centers. Well, everyone she loved except for one man. _'Charles, where are you?' _

* * *

Back on An'zhina, the days were carefree and leisurely. Most of Jubilee, Scott and Jean's time was spent raising their children. Charlotte was now able to roll over, sit up, and make some attempts at crawling. Jean and Scott had filled two photo albums given to them by Queen Marina with photos of their daughter, and a third photo album was about half-way full.

One day, Jubilee was outside enjoying the balmy weather as she practiced karate moves. Aurora watched from her stroller. Scott and Jean were in their quarters.

"Did you hear that?" Scott asked, calling excitedly to Jean from the bathroom. He was bathing Charlotte in a small basin on the counter. The living quarters on An'zhina were larger and more spacious than those on board the starship.

"Hear what, Slim?" Jean asked, turning her head towards the bathroom.

"She said `Da'!" Scott exclaimed. His heart swelled with happiness. Charlotte had already been saying "Ma" and "Mama" for several days now.

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful!" Jean exclaimed, as she entered the bathroom and put an arm around her husband. She bent to give Charlotte a kiss. "You're such a smart little girl," Jean said lovingly, to her daughter.

"She is. It's early for her to be talking already," Scott said. "She's also sitting up and trying to crawl earlier than all those articles said is normal."

"I sense she is going to be a great telepath," Jean said, looking down at Charlotte's bright eyes. Charlotte looked up at her adoring parents.

"And she'll be beautiful like her mother," Scott said, smiling. Jean gave him a quick kiss on the mouth.

/I can get used to this/ Jean thought to herself. As with many stray thoughts between the couple, occasionally one would send a thought to the other without really intending to.

/Me too/ Scott thought.

/ We have unlimited time together on this beautiful moon. We get to spend as much time as we want talking together or playing with the baby. No rush, no living day in and day out in fear like back on earth./

/I almost feel guilty for enjoying this so much/ Scott thought. /It's hard to get used to, given how we've lived our lives the past 15 years. But I love this so much. I love being a Dad./

/I find myself becoming more and more used to it as each day goes by. And if it weren't for missing all the others, everything would be perfect./ Jean thought. She didn't need her mental hook-up with Scott or the ability to read Jubilee's mind to know that the three X-men living on An'zhina greatly missed their teammates.

/I know. Not a day goes by that I don't think and wonder about the Professor and the others/

* * *

Just a day or two after we watched the debate on GenCoreNEWS, the eight of us assembled on the bridge. "We are getting very close to earth now," Storm said, sitting in the captain's chair. "We need to consider taking additional precautions, even though we are cloaked."

With Storm having said that, we then got to work on setting up a schedule so that someone would be on the bridge at all times. We could not risk being taken by surprise.

Next, we discussed our plans for what to do next, as we continued to move nearer and nearer to earth. "The purpose of our mission is to gather information," the Professor said. "We need to consider the best way to do that."

"We know that any the news reported on GenCoreNEWS is likely to be skewed," Hank said. "Would that we had some source for receiving accurate information!"

"I wish that Cerebro II were more like its predecessor," the Professor said. "I will continue to use it every day. Perhaps since we are closer to earth, I will be better able to establish a link with someone on earth."

"That is probably our best chance at receiving accurate information," Storm said.

"What about tapping into the FOH computers," Wolverine said. He turned and looked at me. "Bobby's always been an expert with computers. You could start looking and see what you turn up."

"I wonder if we need to be cautious with this, though," Storm commented. "Could they detect that they are being tapped into and by whom?"

"It is possible," I said. "I'll be extremely careful that I don't do anything to give us away."

Storm nodded at me. "We trust your judgement regarding acceptable risks. Do the best that you can."

So that was basically it. The Professor went to the Cerebro room to give it another go. I worked away at the computer on the bridge.

By dinnertime that evening, I had been working on the computer all day but had not discovered anything shocking. I had successfully tapped into the computers of the central law enforcement agency and confirmed what we all already knew-the 11 of us X-men were wanted dead or alive. FOH still controlled the police, and rewards for our capture were offered. "They are armed and extremely dangerous", the file read. I had to chuckle as I saw the picture of the Professor and looked at the image of the bald man in his fifties. "Extremely dangerous." Right.

It was kinda creepy looking through the files. Our full names, approximate ages, and pictures were all on display. Professor Charles Xavier, Scott Summers, Ororo Munroe, Logan – "Wolverine" [full name unknown], Dr. Henry McCoy, Jean Grey, Remy LeBeau, Piotr [Peter] Nikolaievitch Rasputin, "Rogue" [real name unknown], Jubilation Lee, Robert Drake. Each of us had several pages listing everything they knew about us. They knew quite a bit. Under my entry, they had listed the names and locations of my parents, my two older brothers, and the names and ages of several nieces and nephews that I didn't know I had. They had my birth date correct, they knew I lived for seven years in the San Francisco area, they had my height and weight correct….scary. They noted that Jubilee and I were registered mutants; the others were not. Glancing at the other X-men's files, I learned a few things about their backgrounds that I hadn't known.

I showed this to the rest of the team. "I cannot say that this is a surprise," Hank said, his voice melancholy. "But it is disturbing nonetheless."

Storm nodded, looking over my shoulder at the image of Jubilee on the monitor. "Indeed," she said. "We're on the Most Dangerous list-a list which, in the past, was reserved for serial killers and the like. This does seem to confirm that returning to earth on a permanent basis is not a possibility for us. I cannot say that I'm surprised either, Hank."

Shortly afterwards, it was dinnertime. We sat around the table eating, as the Professor let us know he had not been able to discover anything new using Cerebro II. I could tell it was hard for him to keep the frustration out of his tone. He joined me on the bridge after our meal as I resumed working with the computer. I'd been so successful earlier in the day that I felt on a roll.

The Professor asked me if I could tap into the files of the largest bank. As the banking industry had merged, all of the Professor's money was kept in accounts that I could access if I could reach the bank's central computer.

I worked away for a few hours. Just when it looked as if the Professor was getting tired and ready to turn in for the day, I was successful in hooking up with the Bank.

What we saw was shocking. The Professor's money was gone. All of it gone. Account after account was empty. The Professor stayed up way past his normal bedtime as we tried to ascertain what happened, but we were unable to trace it. What we were able to figure out was that shortly after FOH captured us, his accounts were drained one by one. The money was transferred elsewhere, but we could not access any information on where the money went or who owned the new accounts.

I gotta say that even I was surprised at how much money had been in those accounts. The Professor had been worth between 4-5 billion dollars. I was born and raised in a working class town; we didn't even know anyone who had that sort of money where I came from. We were raised with contempt for the rich. I reminded myself that the Professor used all of his money for the betterment of the human race, not for purchasing toys for himself. It didn't matter now anyway. The money was all gone. Given that the mansion was destroyed as well, it was safe to say at that point that the Professor was now without a dime to his name.

"It is late," Hank said, entering the bridge as he brought us cups of tea. "Perhaps you can resume your work in the morning. I am on bridge duty tonight."

"I think you are right that it is time for us to get some rest," the Professor said evenly.

His voice didn't sound quite as devastated as you'd expect from one who had lost several billion dollars. I had to ask, "So, um, how are you doing, Professor? I mean, um, emotionally and stuff?"

"Well, Bobby, I cannot say that I'm happy to find out that my money is gone. But…it is only money. It's not as if human life was lost. It's only money," he repeated.

"I understand what you mean about it being only money," Hank began. "However, on earth money is a means to an end."

"Yeah, if it weren't for all that money of yours, you wouldn't have been able to open the Institute and train all the X-men, and have the means to buy the Blackbird which we used to stop the bad guys so many times…." I let my voice trail off.

The Professor nodded. His eyes looked far away. "I think, Hank, you are correct. It is time for me to get some rest."

The Professor and I bid Hank goodnight, and headed for our rooms.

* * *

"Gambit cannot believe dat the Professor lose all his money," Gambit said. He and Rogue had paid a visit to the bridge shortly before the Professor had retired to his bedroom that evening.

"I can. With us gone and Friends of Humanity in control of everything, I ain't surprised at all," Rogue said. The couple sat together in their room, ready for bed. Remy was brushing out Rogue's long, thick hair.

"De poor old guy," he said quietly.

"Yeah, his chances of opening up another institute and training more mutants don't look too good right 'bout now," Rogue said.

"Gambit not sure dat the Professor even realize dis now."

"He's gotta come to realize it sooner or later. We ain't goin' back to earth, Remy. Not any time soon and maybe never. We're all on the Most Wanted list and mutants are being rounded up into friggin `Containment Centers.' It's disgusting."

"Maybe we can get Hank to talk to the Professor," Gambit said. "He probably closest to Hank out of everyone on dis ship. Maybe Hank can get him to realize…." his voice trailed off. Rogue's hair was now brushed out. Gambit put the brush away as Rogue bound her hair into a ponytail.

"You look so sad, chere," Gambit said quietly, looking at Rogue's beautiful but downcast features.

"Just thinking about mutants back on earth. I know, I know. We can't do nothin' till we get closer and find out more."

"You ever wish we back on the Paradise planet?"

"Yeah. Because I wasn't thinking about any of these awful things much during those months there."

Gambit put his arms around Rogue and kissed her cheek. As always, she wore a collar when the two of them were alone together. Gambit whispered into her ear, "How `bout something to take our minds off all dis?"

Rogue smiled. Yes. Yes this would be good. She opened her mouth to receive Gambit's kiss. His hands, his mouth, his touch had the magical ability to make all of her worries disappear. "I love you, Remy," she whispered as he lowered her to the bed. She reached her hands up to run her fingers through his long, auburn hair.

"I love you too, chere."

* * *

We were now about two weeks away from earth. One day, we passed close by ("close" in space terms) a Friends of Humanity vessel. We all held our breaths and then released them as we realized that they were still unable to detect our cloak. If they had detected us, they gave no sign of it. The FOH ship simply continued on its course.

The Professor was now close enough to earth that he could use not only Cerebro II but also his own powerful telepathy to attempt to reach people on earth. One day, he was having a particularly strong session. He began trying to make contact when all of us X-men (except Wolverine, who was on bridge duty) began our morning workouts, he worked right through lunch (with Storm checking in on him to ensure he was alright), and he did not stop until after we'd finished our afternoon simulated starship battles. Finally, in the late afternoon, he emerged from the Cerebro room and asked us to meet around the table in the infirmary. We assembled around the table with Colossus, who was on bridge duty, listening in via the intercom.

"I suppose that none of you will be surprised to hear that I do not have good news," the Professor began grimly. His expression was very glum, but as he said I was not the least bit surprised. "I was able to connect with both Angel and Psylocke."

"Were you able to actually enter their minds?" Storm asked.

"Yes. I was able to experience their world and see images of the lives they have been living." He paused. "They are both prisoners in a Mutant Containment Center. They have been there for a few months now. Inhibitor collars keep them, and all the other mutants, from being able to use their powers."

My heart rate sped up. I didn't really know Psylocke, and Angel and I had not exactly been best friends when we were in the X-men together. But I worried, and it was obvious that the others were greatly concerned.

"Tell us about their lives now," Storm said quietly. "Tell us about the Containment Centers." I think we all knew what was coming. I tried to brace myself mentally.

The Professor closed his eyes and then re-opened them as he prepared to speak. Wolverine looked ready to jump out of his seat. The Professor spoke, "This Containment Center is in England. The mutants are being housed in two large buildings which used to be warehouses. The FOH has a large training base adjacent to the Containment Center.

The Professor paused and then went on to describe what Angel's life was now like. "Warren lives in a barrack with about 12 other male mutants. FOH knows that he's an X-man, so he is watched 24 hours a day by at least one guard. In terms of his basic physical necessities, they are being met. FOH serves the prisoners three meals a day. They sleep on cots and are allowed 8 hours per day to sleep. The building is heated-it is winter now-though still somewhat cold. The prisoners spend most of their days doing manual labor, such as constructing buildings, yard work and that sort of thing. Warren is tired because they work 12-14 hours a day. They are given rest breaks though. The prisoners are under surveillance at all times by FOH guards, but the guards watch Warren extra closely because he is an X-man. In general, the guards do not mistreat the male prisoners unless they try to escape or otherwise challenge the guards. When that happens, mutants have been beaten and killed, tortured and set on display as 'examples.' Emotionally, of course, Warren is not in good condition right now. He and Betsy have not been able to see each other since they entered the camp."

As we digested that, Storm asked somberly, "What about Betsy?"

The look on the Professor's face said it all. He was clearly reliving the horrors he'd seen during his mental hook up with Psylocke. It took him a second to grope for the right words, to find a way to begin describing her life now. "She-and all the other women-are raped by the FOH soldiers," he said slowly. "Systematically, dozens of times every single day."

Of course. And I supposed it wasn't a coincidence that the FOH had a training base right next to the camp.

Wolverine smashed his fist into the table. "Then we got a containment center that needs liberatin-right now!" He looked ready to kill someone.

"Wolverine, I agree with you," Storm began, "but we need to think through the best way to do this. Remember, we have no idea how many FOH troops there are now, and if we are not careful, we could end up prisoners again ourselves."

"But we gotta do something," Rogue said. "And we gotta do something quickly as possible."

"I agree that we should not delay," Storm said. "However the intent of this mission was for information gathering only. Our original plan was to return to An'zhina and share what we learned with Cyclops, Jean and Jubilee."

"Den we gotta think bout breaking from our original plan. It'll take us 2 weeks to get close enough dat the Professor can hook up with Jean again," Gambit said.

"The mutants in these concentration camps don't have 2 weeks for us to spare." Wolverine said.

"Besides," I said, "I don't think it'll make a difference. Say we fly back towards An'zhina for 2 weeks, we share with Jean our plans. I'm sure she and the others will give us their blessing but they aren't going to change their minds and want to join us for this. So then it's 2 weeks to fly all the way back to this point, and we've lost a whole month for nothing."

"We can still achieve our original goal of keeping Cyclops and the others informed," Hank said. "We failed to realize earlier that this ship is capable of sending a message via subspace. We can write a concise message and send it to Endaria. Queen Marina will surely pass it along to our teammates."

We then had a discussion of what exactly to say to Jean, Scott, and Jubilee. But we couldn't decide on that until we had a game plan for ourselves. I must say that the discussion was remarkably civil and calm despite that I knew everyone was hurting over Psylocke and Angel. Even Wolverine seemed to be doing….alright.

"We are all in agreement that Psylocke and Angel need to be rescued," Storm said. No one challenged that. "We next need to decide what to do with all the other mutants in these so-called containment centers."

"Yeah," Rogue said. "We can bust them all outta there, but then what? With FOH in control of everything, they're just gonna get rounded up again."

"From what we know of the situation on earth, there may very well be no safe space there at all," Storm said.

"However, we cannot assume that they are all going to want to return to An'zhina with us," Hank said. "They will not all be willing or able to leave their families and friends."

We talked around several different scenarios. Finally, we agreed that we would offer all the rescued mutants a choice. They could come with us, if they wanted or they could remain on earth.

"We're gettin' ahead of ourselves," Wolverine said, once we'd agreed upon that. "First we gotta figure out how to free the camps."

The Professor recounted everything he'd been able to learn about how heavily guarded the camps were. "Unfortunately, the prisoners of these camps know very little about how many guards there are and their schedules, so I was unable to learn a great deal from my connection with Warren and Betsy. One thing was very clear. We need to be cautious. The FOH has no objections to using prisoners as….lessons. If we get to a point where they realize what is happening, I sense the FOH will begin executing mutants until we surrender."

"Perhaps stealth will be our greatest asset," Hank said.

We talked about the mission some more. We had two weeks to go before we'd reach earth, so we had time to think of a good strategy. We agreed that during these two weeks, the Professor would redouble his efforts to make mental contact with those on earth. And the rest of us would step up our training even more, with the Danger Room set to its most difficult levels.

"That sounds like a very good plan," Storm said. "I do have a question." She looked at the Professor. "Let us suppose we are successful in liberating these camps….Thinking through this long-term, are we saying that we will take Queen Marina up on her offer to use An'zhina as our permanent asylum?"

The Professor looked thoughtful. "I think it is too soon to say we are going to permanently settle there. However, I certainly do not object to us viewing it as at least a temporary base until the situation on earth has improved."

I looked around the table at the others. I sensed that the Professor might be the only one who wanted to think of An'zhina as merely a * temporary* base. Oh well. This was good enough for now.

Finally that day, we worked on the wording of the subspace message we'd send to Jean, Scott and Jubilee. The message would take a few weeks to reach them, and we knew we needed to keep it short. The final version of the message read:

"Mutants on earth are being rounded up into Containment Centers run by FOH. Psylocke and Angel are prisoners. We are going on a rescue mission. We decided not to return to An'zhina now because time is of the essence. We will update you as soon as possible, and we will return as soon as possible. Hope everything is well on An'zhina. You are in our thoughts."

* * *

The Professor tossed and turned in his bed as he attempted to fall asleep that night. He had remained "hooked up" with Psylocke's consciousness for too long that day, and he had spared the other X-men the details of her tortured existence. Those details, however, replayed themselves endlessly for the Professor. One of the most disciplined minds in the history of the earth was failing to control where his thoughts went.

Charles's mind especially continued to revisit one particular picture. Psylocke, backed against a wall, naked, being hosed down with freezing cold water. The next soldier then grabbing her by the hair and dragging her to a bed. Psylocke helpless to prevent any of it, trying to prepare her tense, bruised body. Thousands of FOH soldiers living in the training camp next to the containment center.

`Could we have failed so utterly? Could **I** have failed so utterly?'

* * *

Moira MacTaggert's hands shook as she opened the letter. The envelope was emblazoned with the FOH logo. It looked just like the envelope and stationary of the letter that had informed her of her son's death. She fought to continue breathing steadily.

"We regret to inform you that SEAN CASSIDY (AKA "BANSHEE") was killed during an escape attempt on January 5th. Several mutants including SEAN CASSIDY (AKA "BANSHEE") rioted one day. Our soldiers were forced to stop them, and a few mutants were killed during the riots. We are sorry for your loss."

Moira collapsed to the ground.

* * *

"Pick it up, you pathetic losers!" the FOH guard yelled at the five male mutants who were shoveling snow outside the Mutant Containment Center complex. "My 95 year old grandmother can shovel faster than that. Get moving, you mistakes of nature!" He held a collar control device menacingly.

The mutants hurried their movements, ignoring the pain in their backs and the cold that their flimsy gloves and jackets were not staving off. Warren Worthington III was one of those mutants. He never dreamed it would come to this.

"What are you lookin' at, you blue skinned freak?" one of the guards yelled at Angel. Warren quickly turned his head away and shoveled faster.

"He's one of the high-and-mighty X-men, John," a second guard said to the fist. "He sure doesn't look all that powerful right now, and I bet-"

The first soldier cut him off. "Hey, Tom-look," he said, pointing.

A truck drove up, heading for the main building. This was one of trucks that transported mutants. Hands and arms could be seen poking out of the slats of the vehicle. Closer to the truck could be heard the sounds of wailing.

"Must be that new shipment of muties from Austria."

"I can't wait to see what the new ones will be like. We need some fresh pussy in this camp."

"Tell me about it. The sluts just get worse and worse the longer they're here."

"Maybe I'll win the auction for one of the virgins this time."

"Count me out of that auction crap. I'm not giving up a month's pay for something I can get for free here. Shit, for that kind of money you can get a prostitute who knows what she's doing instead of some screaming and crying 16 year old."

"Suit yourself. I say the more screaming and crying these fucking muties do, the better. They deserve it."

Two of the five mutants who were shoveling snow together that day started talking in hushed tones. Warren could not help but to overhear bits and pieces. "Did you hear them mention the X-men?…..The X-men will rescue us," one of them said earnestly.

"Give it up, Aaron. I think we're stuck here forever. Or until we get killed for looking at one of the guards the wrong way," the other mutant whispered back. "Besides, no one's heard from the X-men for ages and the ones in this camp sure aren't able to do anything. Maybe the ship those other X-men supposedly stole crashed in space or something."

"Or maybe they're just waiting for the right time to strike! I'm not giving up."

As he worked, Warren's mind as well as his body felt numb. He went to bed and rose every day sick with worry over Betsy. The guards ensured that he, and all the other men, knew what was happening to the female prisoners.

Later that day, Warren and the other male prisoners walked in single file lines to the cafeteria for dinner. Across the huge room, he could see Nightcrawler. Just as with Warren, a guard stood behind Nightcrawler at all times. Warren had no idea what Nightcrawler was doing in England or how he got there. The guards religiously made sure the two X-men had no contact with each other. Weeks ago, they'd both been beaten badly for making eye contact and waving to each other.

* * *

The Professor entered the bridge to do some work on the computer. Beast, on guard duty at that point, glanced at Charles.

"You look as if you have not had a restful night, Professor," Hank commented.

"That is true," the Professor admitted, returning Hank's gaze. "The images I experienced yesterday from Warren and from Betsy, especially, were disquieting to say the least."

Hank nodded. "I would imagine so. I find it disturbing to simply think about what you described. I imagine that it is far worse for you, having actually seen and experienced the images in your mind."

"Yes," the Professor said. He shook his head. "Seeing and feeling a student of mine in such pain…." He let his voice trail off. He knew then that he did not want to dwell on the specifics of Psylock and Warren's imprisonment anymore.

"How do you feel, Professor, about the decision to make An'zhina our temporary base?"

"I don't see that we have a choice, for the time being at least." He repressed a sigh. "It is hard for me to accept the fact that my dream of humans and mutants living in peace…..is `on-hold' indefinitely."

"I know what you mean, Professor. We all worked for many years on this dream, and it is difficult to realize that, for the time being, we cannot advance the dream," Hank said.

The Professor nodded. "Part of me is in mourning because of this. However," he began, sounding resolute and no longer sorrowful, "our first priority now is to ensure the safety of mutants on earth and release them from this imprisonment. If we have to put the dream of humans and mutants living in peace to the side for now, then we can focus our efforts on this new goal-saving mutants' lives."

Hank voice his agreement. He strongly suspected that the X-men's new goal might be as unattainable as their original one had been.

* * *

Nightcrawler, and the 15 others who roomed in the same barrack with him, were led to their quarters for the evening. As always, armed FOH soldiers escorted mutants everywhere. And Nightcrawler, as an X-man (or *

former* X-man, as the guards never ceased to remind him), had his own personal guard keeping watch over him at all times. The soldier who had watched him from 1pm to 9pm that day was now finished with his duty shift, and a replacement stepped in to take over the task of watching Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler, and the other prisoners, were watched as they undressed for bed.

'It is amazing what you can get used to,' Nightcrawler thought to himself. 'Having someone watching you as you shower, as you go to the bathroom…..'

Nightcrawler did a lot of thinking to himself now because he, and all the other mutants, were forbidden to converse with each other. This was particularly hard for the German. He loved good conversation. However, mutants were not allowed to verbally exchange more than a handful of words at a time with each other.

Out of the corner of his eye, Nightcrawler took a quick peak at one of his roommates. Fourteen of the mutants who shared this barrack were male; one was female. He always wondered what * her* story was. Nightcrawler had gotten used to stifling his tongue and keeping quiet. He knew he would have no chance to ask her.

The mutant who Nightcrawler wondered about was named Jessica Martin. However, her friends had taken to calling her by the nickname Panda because of her resemblance to a panda bear.

If Nightcrawler could have conversed with her, this is what he might have learned about her background. When she was born 22 years ago, Jessica had looked as normal as any other baby. As she had progressed through childhood, it became clear that she was going to be a large woman; she clearly did not have the thin, waif-like figure that was in style. Her chest and shoulders were broad, her legs thick and sturdy.

As with most mutants, her mutations began to make themselves apparent when she reached puberty. She grew even bigger and taller yet. She developed animal-like fur all over her body. Some of her features began to take on a panda-like appearance, and the coloring of her fur beckoned towards that of a panda as well. She weighed over 300 lbs now. Jessica and her parents discovered that the depths of cruelty that other adolescents were capable of was astounding.

When Dr. Hank McCoy had made the national headlines due to his arrest and trial, many noted the similarities between Panda's appearance and Hank's. Both had the half-human/half-animal appearance. Panda's family had encouraged her to consider joining the X-men. But all too soon, Friends of Humanity took over and the X-men disappeared. Panda had been rounded up and taken away like all of the other mutants in her area.

When she was brought to the Mutant Containment Center, Panda noticed that the male mutants and the female mutants were separated immediately. The guards, however, took one look at Panda and laughed, making several lewd comments. They decided to group her in with the men. Only gradually did she realize how lucky she was, that she was being spared from the day in and day out sexual abuse that the other female mutants suffered in these camps. Panda had always considered her appearance a curse; now it was a blessing.

Of course that didn't stop a few of the guards from raping her on occasion. They spat in her face and told her they wanted to see what it was like to "fuck a big freak like you." But for the most part, she was spared from sexual assault and instead forced to spend her day on manual labor alongside the male mutants.

* * *

I suppose I don't need to say that the mood on board the ship was not very good as we came closer and closer to earth. In fact, I don't know what else to say about it. Nightmarish images tended to swim through my mind whenever I thought of mutants on earth, and I bet I wasn't the only one experiencing this.

I really missed Jubilee and her baby. I missed laughing and joking with Jubes, and I also longed for having an Aurora or Charlotte to play with. At the same time, I was glad they weren't there with us. I know I only would have worried about them and spent a lot of time trying to comfort Jubilee. From what I observed with my fellow X-men, we tried not to dwell on the conditions of our fellow mutants back on earth. Doing so didn't help. We went about our normal routines of training, fighting simulated battles and bridge duty. I think most of us didn't talk much about what we would face if and when we were able to rescue mutants back on earth. Of course I don't know what, say, Rogue and Gambit or even Storm and Wolverine discussed with each other when they returned to their quarters for the evening.

Even Hank and I didn't talk about it much. Generally, I brushed him every night before bed and he gave me a back rub. We relieved our tension that way, but neither of us had a burning desire to talk over what we would be facing. I did tell him once that I felt tremendous guilt. Here we'd spent all this time "on vacation", and look what was happening to mutants on earth. "I know it is illogical," Hank had said, "but I feel the same way on occasion. And I do think that we are not the only ones."

When we X-men weren't training, we discussed different possible attack scenarios. We knew our task wouldn't be easy. We'd have to liberate the camp-without harming any of the mutants and while preventing the FOH soldiers from hurting the prisoners or capturing us. We had one secret weapon though. Hank spent several hours each day perfecting a stun gas. This gas would cause anyone exposed to it to lose consciousness within seconds. Hank was working on a version of this which would have no long term side effects.

Sporadically, we watched the news and monitored TV programs from earth. This didn't lift our spirits much either. We learned that before the Mutant Containment Centers had been set up, mutants in the US had been deprived of the rights to attend college, get married, or purchase property. Laws were passed * permitting* employment discrimination against mutants. We weren't at all surprised, especially given the Mutant Sterilization Act that had passed before. We also found that other countries aside from the US had passed similar laws. Although with these "containment centers" operating, what did it matter now?

FOH must've had a great public relations group. They had several lovely TV commercials, though I wondered why they needed any since it seemed they controlled everything. I guess they wanted to ensure that they retained their favorable view in the public's eye. Probably their "best" commercial showed a mother comforting her young daughter. Apparently the young girl has just witnessed mutants behaving badly and destroying public property. The Mom is relieved when FOH steps in to restrain the mutant. The announcer reports in a glowing voice that FOH has set up discounts on counseling services for those humans who have been "traumatized by mutant violence." The commercial ends with the daughter looking happy and the mom relieved.

Of course FOH neglects to mention that had the mom and daughter been mutants, they would have no objection to rounding them up into camps and gang raping them every day.

* * *

Moira MacTaggert rarely slept for more than a few hours in a 24 hour period, and this night was no exception. At 2 a.m., she woke from her sleep, crying and shuddering as aches of despair and sadness overtook her. Her husband and her son were dead. Perhaps it would be a good thing if FOH were to kill Siryn as well; Moira could then join her family in heaven. Except that Charles Xavier might still be alive and she had to know what became of him. As long as there was a possibility that he still lived, Moira would not commit suicide.

Amazingly, Moira fell asleep again after another bout of tears. She reached a dream state and images played in her mind. She felt a soft poke from someone very familiar to her.

'Charles? Charles is that you?'

/It is I, Moira. Can you feel my presence?/

`Yes, I can. Are you dead too, now? Is that why I sense you now, Charles?'

/No, Moira, I am not dead. I am on board a starship, returning to earth./

`Am I dreaming this?'

/It is not a dream. I'm coming home, Moira. I'm coming for you./

TO BE CONTINUED


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The Professor told us that he had reached Moira MacTaggert. I braced myself for more bad news. I mean, I think I only met Moira once, but it seemed that every time we learned the whereabouts of someone back on earth, there was never anything good to report.

"She is alive," the Professor began. "Her husband Banshee and son Proteus were killed by FOH while imprisoned in one of their Containment Centers. Her step-daughter Siryn is imprisoned and, as far as Moira knows, still alive."

He didn't need to elaborate on her mental state. We could only imagine what she must be going through at this point. The Professor continued, "She understands that we are now returning to earth."

The next day, the Professor told us that he was able to mentally "hook up" with Warren and have an exchange, despite the fact that Angel has no telepathic abilities. "I told him that we're coming," the Professor said. "He is elated that we're still alive. He also told me that Nightcrawler is imprisoned in the camp with him."

"What the heck was Kurt doing in England?" Rogue asked.

"Warren does not know," the Professor said. "They are forbidden to speak to each other and the guards monitor them at all times. Warren told me that, as far as he knows, Kurt, Betsy and he are the only X-men in the camp."

As we got closer and closer to earth, our plans for liberating the camp began to take shape.

* * *

Rogue was finishing up her early-afternoon training round, when the Professor and Storm both approached her. "Rogue," Storm began, a gentle smile on her face, "may we have a word with you?"

"Sure." Rogue asked. "What's on your minds?" she asked. The Professor easily detected that her mood was high, as her session in the Danger Room that day had been a resounding success. The three made their way to the bleachers on the sidelines of the gym. Storm and Rogue sat next to each other, the Professor facing them in his hover chair.

"We wish to ask something of you," the Professor said. "As you know, our goal is to rescue the mutants who are imprisoned along with Angel and Psylocke, and to offer them asylum here."

Rogue nodded. The Professor looked at Storm. Storm spoke, "We expect that the mutants we rescue will be traumatized. Some of them will probably want someone to listen to them, someone to provide some comfort." Rogue got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew where this was heading. Storm continued, "The Professor has experience working with torture victims and he's, of course, willing to work with anyone who wants to. And I am certainly willing to do what I can as well and listen to as many people as possible. But we wanted to ask you to consider also helping with this."

Rogue frowned and looked down. In the background, she noticed Wolverine and Colossus begin a Danger Room program. The Professor then spoke, "We do not know how many mutants are in this….containment center or how many will actually want to come with us. It might be anywhere from a small handful to several hundred. And we do not know how many will want someone to talk to."

"We do know," Storm said, "that rape is widespread at these camps." As Storm said the word, Rogue realized how much she detested that word. Rape. It was far, far worse that any other four letter word her parents had instructed her never to say. It made her skin crawl. She wished she could erase the word from the English language, wish it described something that no civilized society would allow to exist. `No, change that,' Rogue thought. `It already * is* something that no civilized society would allow to exist.'

Storm continued on, "We must assume that the female mutants are going to be especially traumatized, and many of them will only feel comfortable talking with another woman. Or at least that many of them would strongly prefer to discuss this with another woman." Storm paused. "I know that you do not enjoy…listening to other people talk about this sort of thing. But," she forced a smile, "you and I are the only women on board this ship. Would you consider offering a listening ear, if there are mutants who want that?"

"Too bad Jean ain't here," Rogue said. "She's good at that shit."

"I know," Storm said, looking at Rogue.

"And I hated when Marie from Alpha Flight was on board and she made us listen to her talk 'bout what she went through over an' over."

"I know," Storm repeated.

"But I s'ppose this is like how most women will only go to a female gynecologist and not a male one." She snuck a quick look at the Professor. He caught her eye and they both smiled.

"As I said," the Professor began, "I am more than willing to work with anyone who wants to. I think my experience working with torture victims will be useful. However, I certainly understand that many victims of rape are likely to only want to talk it over with another woman."

Rogue sighed. "Well, what can I say? I guess I gotta say yes."

"I will provide my counseling services," Storm said, "to as many survivors as possible. But potentially there will be hundreds and…."

"Hundreds," Rogue muttered. "Great. I gotta sit and listen to hundreds of rape stories when I went through the same thing myself not too long ago. I want combat pay for this, 'hear?"

Storm smiled. "Perhaps we could come up with some sort of remuneration for this. Maybe we could allow you to replicate a few non-regulation items for yourself."

The Professor smiled. He knew, of course, about some of the interesting articles of clothing that Rogue had "secretly" been producing for herself (and Gambit.)

"Nah, I was kiddin' `bout wanting combat pay for that," Rogue said, glumly. "If it's needed, I'll do it. Though I got a headache, now, just thinkin' about it. But sure, sign me up. Counselor Rogue." She frowned.

Storm smiled. "We knew would could count on you. You're always willing to help your fellow mutant."

"Yeah, yeah," she said. Her mood from her successful training session had now been brought far down.

* * *

"What's wrong, chere?" Gambit asked, as he and Rogue took their places in the engine room later that day for a simulated battle. He put his arm around her and looked at her in that endearing way.

Despite her foul mood, Rogue couldn't help but to smile. Gambit's concern for her sincerely touched her, and the look in his eyes had an effect on her too. "Let's talk 'bout it later, Swamp Rat, ok?" Iceman and Beast were on the bridge and about to begin their simulated battle.

"Whatever you say," Gambit said, reaching for one of her hands and giving it a quick kiss. He turned his attention to his workstation as Beast informed them, via the intercom, that their exercise would begin in 20 seconds.

As with most days now, Rogue and Gambit didn't get any quiet time together until after dinner. Their entire days now were taken up with training activities. Rogue and Remy continued their tradition of sitting on the bridge together in the evenings, to enjoy each other's company alone. The rest of the group was in the rec room that evening, talking and playing cards when Gambit and Rogue finally retired to the bridge, together.

"Dat Drake put together a damn good salad," Gambit said. He and Rogue sat in the Captain's chair, she curled up on his lap.

"Yeah, those veggies that he grows are way better than the replicated stuff."

"If we are settling on An'zhina, we gotta ask Queen Marina 'bout farmland. Or at leas' about real food and not dat replicated stuff."

Rogue nodded. Gambit reached a hand to stroke her hair. "So you wanna tell Gambit what's botherin' you, chere?"

"Oh, Remy. It's somethin' that Storm and the Professor asked me to do today." She went on to relay the conversation that had taken place earlier that day. Rogue sighed. "I know I gotta do it. It makes sense. But I fuckin' hate listening to other people's sob stories, and especially when it comes to somethin like this."

"My poor chere," Gambit murmured, placing his arms around her. "But you one strong woman, chere. You stronger than almos' anyone Gambit knows. You can do it."

"I know I can do it. I just ain't gonna like one bit!"

"I know. Maybe you need to t'ink of it like some bitter pill you gotta swallow. It won't be fun but it all for de best. You such a kind, generous woman do agree to helpin' with this. Gambit love dat about you, chere."

Rogue smiled. Gambit talked a bit more, trying to get her mind off it. She resigned herself to his analogy of a bitter pill.

* * *

"Ugly demon! You're disgusting!" The FOH soldier laughed as he picked up and threw a rock at Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler was working with another prisoner on repairing a fence.

The three soldiers laughed as the rock hit Kurt squarely in the back. The X-man paused for a second, and then resumed his work, attempting to block out the pain.

"Hey, turn around, freak!" the soldier yelled at Nightcrawler. Kurt reluctantly turned to face his tormentor, knowing he had no choice.

"Apologize!" the soldier commanded. "I want you to apologize for being an ugly freak. And kneel when I'm speaking to you, pathetic dirty mutant!"

Kurt wordlessly sank to his knees. Other prisoners had been severely beaten and even killed for not carrying out the orders of the soldiers. "I'm sorry, Sir," he said quietly.

A second soldier standing nearby scoffed, "Oooh, look at the scary and powerful X-Man."

"Now, go back to work, you lazy piece of shit!" the first soldier commanded Nightcrawler. Kurt rose to his feet and resumed his work on the fence.

"What the fuck!" the first soldier said to his colleagues, exasperated. "Why are we letting the stupid freaks live? Like that blue weirdo. He should be exterminated. No one should have to * look* at that mistake of nature. What are those, hooves instead of hands? Is that gross or what?"

"You heard what General Thompson said," the second soldier said to his friend. "We gotta be careful with how many muties we kill. Public opinion isn't with us yet on that one."

"Well, it sucks. We're using taxpayer money to buy food to keep these shits alive. They should all be dead."

"I heard that the camp they're opening in Asia next month is going to allow more executions."

"If I had it my way, we'd have the muties dig a big grave and then we'd throw `em all in it."

"Except for the girls!"

"Oh, yeah except for the sluts. I say we keep `em till they go crazy on us, and then exterminate them too."

"We might have our wish. Remember what it said in our last newsletter? All we need to do is keep public opinion where it's at and win more people over to our side….pretty soon the public will condone more executions."

Kurt kept his eyes averted, trying to not hear their conversation, though they stood a few feet away from him. He was not as despairing as he normally was. The Professor had "spoken" to him a few days ago. He had only to hold on a little while longer…..

All of a sudden, Kurt felt a strong wind. He looked up, and was shocked to see a starship suddenly appear over the containment center. Off in the distance, he heard an alarm sound and soldiers run to their stations.

Kurt saw two of the three soldiers who had just been talking stop in their tracks and fall to the ground, coughing. He looked up again. The starship seemed to be releasing some sort of chemical into the air. Kurt felt dizzy and began a fit of coughing. He was unconscious in a matter of seconds.

* * *

As the Professor monitored us from the ship, we descended onto the containment center, our cloaking device easily allowing us to slip past FOH's defenses and penetrate earth's atmosphere. With the ship's main airlock open, we flew down onto the camp. Rogue used her ability to fly, and she used her super-strength to carry both Hank and Colossus. Storm also flew, carrying Wolverine. Quick as a wink, I created an icy pathway to help me descend from the ship, with Gambit clinging to my back. We felt a rush of cold air as we swooped down onto the camp.

We saw that the stun gas seemed to be working, and almost everyone in the camp-mutant and FOH soldier alike-lost consciousness. Our gas masks protected us.

A few soldiers appeared, wearing gas masks and carrying guns. But our training had prepared us well. Gambit threw a few explosive cards in their direction, I encased several of them in ice, and Storm used winds to sweep away the others. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one soldier prepare to fire at Hank. In a split second or two, Colossus- who was in his indestructible form- spotted the soldier and immobilized him.

/An FOH ship is approaching./ The Professor spoke into our minds. /I am going to begin transporting the mutants to our starship./

We executed our plan just as we'd run-through countless times. As the Professor beamed mutants aboard our vessel, we stormed through the camp to ensure that no one was being missed. Storm and Rogue flew, as I used ice to move around the camp faster than an Olympic skater. The rest of the team scouted around on foot.

I rushed through an empty barrack and then rounded a corner. I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight I encountered. I came upon Hank and Colossus facing off against two FOH soldiers. The soldiers wore gas masks and held a female mutant by the hair. One of them had a gun to the woman's head. "Surrender immediately, you two, or I kill her!"

Fortunately, the soldier faced away from me. In a split second, I shot out ice at the soldiers, encasing them. I couldn't avoid hitting the girl too, but at least she was saved. Hank gave the Professor the coordinates and told him to beam the mutant aboard. "Good timing, my friend," Hank said. "The soldiers appeared completely ready and willing to carry out their threat."

Even though it happened so quickly, I remembered one disturbing image from that encounter. The mutant had been wearing a flimsy white nightgown only. It was the middle of January and freezing cold. Snow and ice blanketed the bleak camp.

For the next few minutes (or however long it was….you kind of lose your sense of time in battle like this), we continued to scout out the camp. The Professor confirmed what our eyes told us. /I sense no more mutants in this area. I am beaming you back aboard the ship./

We were transported back to the ship. What happened from that point onward was a bit of a blur. I was the first to reach the bridge, with Wolverine close behind me. I took the helm, and he took the weaponry station. The Professor sat on the bridge with us. Our next mission was to beam Moira MacTaggert aboard.

I steered the ship towards Muir Island. "She's ready," the Professor said, apparently having been in telepathic contact with her.

"We've got an FOH ship on our tail," Wolverine said, looking at his monitor. "Evasive actions, Bobby!" he barked at me.

I took a deep breath and remembered my training. The fate of all the X-men and all the other mutants we'd just beamed on board depended on me keeping my cool. But I had done this countless times in training. As the FOH vessel pursued us, we came within transporting range. The Professor worked the controls.

"We have her!" the Professor said, excitedly. I think at that point he then telepathically communicated something to Moira.

"There's a second FOH ship on our tale!" Wolverine said, looking at his monitor. "Drake, get this ship the hell outta here! Move it, now!"

They opened fire on us just as we re-engaged the cloaking device. I steered the ship in an evasive pattern, as Wolverine returned fire.

We were hit. Storm and Rogue entered the bridge as I continued to control the helm, trying to elude the FOH. I thought I was doing a good job. But Wolverine snarled, "Storm, will you take the helm. Drake, step down!"

I know it was petty. But I was mighty pissed off. I knew what I was doing, and I felt confident. I'd trained along the other X-men dozens and dozens of times in the last few weeks. And, as I recalled, my simulated flying scores were not that far off from Storm's. Still, I did what Wolverine said. Storm took my place.

We engaged warp drive, but the FOH vessels followed us. With Wolverine at the weapons station, though, those FOH ships didn't stand a chance. He caused major damage to one of them, so much so that it turned back. The other pursued us for quite some time. We'd been hit enough times that we must have been leaking the ion trail that rendered our cloaking device ineffective. Our shields were down to 50%, but we managed to beat that vessel back as well.

So that was it. We successfully liberated our first "Mutant Containment Center" and we kicked two FOH ships's butts in combat.

* * *

The next several hours-in fact, the next several days-were a time of clean-up for us. It reminded me vaguely of when we freed ourselves from our FOH captors so long ago on board this very ship. For the longest time, we spent every waking moment getting things in order, rushing from one urgent duty to the next, trying to get things in some semblance of normalcy.

Two X-men were scheduled on bridge duty at all times. We had to ensure that we truly had evaded the FOH ships and wouldn't encounter any others. Even though we were cloaked, we feared that we might still be leaking an ion trail due to the damage we had sustained. Besides, we weren't that far from earth and we still did not know how many ships the FOH had in total now. It was possible that this area of space was littered with cloaked FOH ships, so we had to remain vigilant at all times.

Generally, when we weren't on bridge duty, we were helping out in the infirmary or otherwise assisting the 208 freed mutants. Hank literally spent all day and all night in sick bay. As our only doctor, he was exempted from bridge duty. (Well, he wasn't exactly our only doctor-Moira was a doctor too, but her days were spent providing counseling.) He later told me that he believed in the first 72 hours after we rescued the prisoners, he did not sleep at all. I believe it. As for me, on a good night I had time for maybe 5-6 hours of sleep. I spent the rest of my time on bridge duty, helping out in sick bay, or helping the rescued mutants get accumulated here. I knew it would be a very long trip back to An'zhina.

Our reunion with Nightcrawler was a very joyous moment. We all hugged him, thrilled that he was alive after we'd thought him dead for so long. He explained that he had managed to flee from the FOH on that awful night that they attacked and pillaged the mansion. He told us that he had, as Colossus had thought he'd seen, jumped from the rooftop of the mansion. An FOH soldier had snuck up behind him and placed a collar around his neck, so he could not use his power of teleportation. "By the grace of God, I was unharmed by the jump, except for a sprained ankle," Kurt told us in his thick German accent. "I somehow fled into the forest. The Friends of Humanity were so hell-bent on destroying the mansion and taking off in their ship with the rest of you, that they didn't notice me." Kurt went on to say that as soon as he was able, he went to England to meet up with Angel and Psylocke. Angel and Psylocke had been trying to rally mutants in Europe into joining with the X-men.

Angel and I were, of course, two of the original five X-men. We had never been the best of friends though. When I rejoined the X-men a year and a half ago, I can't say I was all that upset to learn that he was in England at the time. When we saw each other on board the ship, it was the first we'd seen each other for nearly nine years, I estimated. Physically he had aged quite a bit, and he was very slender. Our reunion was brief, though. He just shook my hand and muttered it was good to see me. His mind clearly was preoccupied with Psylocke.

Angel's preoccupation with Psylocke leads me to, I guess, describing the condition that the mutants we rescued were in. The male mutants were, overall, not in bad condition. Some had bruises and scrapes from mistreatment by the FOH soldiers, and they were all thin, but there was nothing majorly wrong with them. Kurt explained that the guards put them to work all day at building FOH monuments, creating structures and then tearing them down, shoveling snow, and all manner of manual labor. But they hadn't been worked to exhaustion. Several, however, had been killed in the camps for doing things like talking back to the guards or not carrying out orders soon enough. But for those who survived and who were on board our ship-to use an non-medical term, most of the male mutants were basically ok.

The female mutants were another story. This is the part where my hands start to shake on the keyboard and I begin to see red. For days and days, sick bay was filled with these girls and women who had survived countless gang rapes from FOH soldiers. I stood behind Hank late one night (or very early one morning) as he looked over the computer at a report describing the condition of the female prisoners. Syphilis, chlamydia, genital warts, crabs-you name the sexually transmitted disease, they had it. On top of that, the women were all bruised and beaten. A lot of them had ruptured internal organs. My stomach churned as I thought back to the condition Jubilee had been in when the FOH guards had thrown her into our cell. Try as I might, I'll never forget the scratches, bruises and burn marks that had covered her broken body. That's how these women were too, and most were far, far worse than Jubilee had been.

Mentally, they were even worse. Many were in that brainlocked condition Jubilee had been in. Some of them just cried and shook all day. Others seemed like they'd truly gone mad. One woman took to appearing in the halls, stark naked, screaming, "I am not a whore!"

I gotta say that I wish a painful death on these FOH soldiers. We were far, far too kind in merely knocking them out with stun gas. I don't know what else to say to express how outraged I am at these guys. What the fuck is wrong with them?

As far as I could tell, Storm and the Professor spent huge chunks of their day with these women in counseling sessions. Rogue helped out too, though one could clearly tell it was a chore she did not enjoy. And fortunately, Moira MacTaggert was glad to work with them too. I felt sorry for Moira. Not only had her husband and son been killed in the camps, but her step-daughter Siryn-who we had rescued with everyone else-was pretty much in the "zoned out" condition that Jubilee had been in.

But back to Warren and Betsy. Since I wasn't close to Warren, I didn't hear any of this first hand, but I guess he talked to some of the other X-men. Apparently he really feared for Betsy's mental condition. One minute, she would seem fine but the next she would be yelling and screaming. Or one day she would be completely quiet the entire day, the next day she would be chatting and laughing as if everything in the world was fantastic. Or the day after that, she would be miserable and cry all day long. She also apparently didn't have a good grasp on her surroundings or what exactly was going on.

I could tell my fellow X-men were really freaked out by that. They said that Betsy had had a strong mind, and seeing her out of it like this was disturbing

One more thing I should mention. We were all so busy in the days and weeks after our rescue, that we almost forgot about monitoring earth's news reports. However, we did catch a few. There was coverage of our rescue, and I don't suppose I need to mention that it portrayed the bad, evil X-men attacking the honorable and noble FOH soldiers and kidnapping these poor mutants in order to turn them into "anti-human, mutant soldiers." Every news report was sensationalistic and extremely negative, and all the public opinion polls showed that our name is mud. `Nuff said.

* * *

Charles Xavier and Moira MacTaggert sat around a tiny makeshift table in Charles's room one morning. They had taken to eating breakfast together at the start of every day. They took turns replicating the meal and then bringing it to the other's room. It was the only quiet time either of them had, as their days were jam-packed.

On board the ship, it was approximately 5am, but both Charles and Moira were dressed and ready to begin their day. Both had been up past midnight the night before. As every day, Moira was dressed completely in black.

"In four weeks, we will reach An'zhina," the Professor said.

"I look forward ta reaching this place, Charles," Moira replied.

"It's hard to believe that an entire week has passed since our rescue mission. The days have flown by."

"Perhaps the scenery on An'zhina will help to facilitate recovery for some of the mutants," Moira said.

"I think it might. However, I plan to soon begin using my powers to aid in the recovery of some of the more emotionally damaged people. I think several of the rescued prisoners are beyond the reaches of any traditional healing methods."

Moira nodded. "You hae a wonderful gift, Charles. I think you should use it to help these poor women. Siryn needs your help."

"She will be one of the first ones I assist," Charles said. "In fact, I think she might be ready today."

Moira nodded grimly. How she longed to be able to have a light and relaxing conversation with Charles. Instead, every morning they inevitably discussed issues like this. There simply wasn't time to focus on anything else. Maybe it was for the better. Since coming aboard the X-men's ship and working with the freed mutants, Moira was able to temporarily drive the pain over Sean and Kevin's deaths out of her head. At least now she had a purpose and a focus.

"Three of the male mutants I spoke to yesterday expressed a desire to return to earth," Moira said.

Charles nodded. "Several of the X-men have been telling me the same. You remember that we X-men are meeting tonight to discuss future plans."

"Oh, of course," Moira said. She had forgotten that Charles had already invited her to that meeting and she had planned on attending.

"We have many things to discuss and decide upon," Charles said. "FOH has at least 7 more Containment Centers. Many X-men think we should be liberating the mutants in those camps instead of returning these mutants to An'zhina."

"But this ship canna accommodate everyone. There are only 300 personnel quarters."

"There is much to decide," Charles repeated, his eyes far away.

Moira gazed with respect at the Professor. His face was more lined and haggard than she had remembered. She knew her face was as weary as his, too. Moira felt as if she'd aged 20 years in the last 2 and knew she must look it as well.

"I am so glad you are here, Charles," Moira said. "I thank God every day that you hae survived. I had been losing hope."

Charles reached across the table and held her hand. He gave it a tight squeeze. "I am also very grateful that you are here." He wanted to say more, but stopped himself. Such thoughts and feelings were not appropriate towards a woman who had so recently lost her husband.

* * *

Bobby was supervising a group of mutants as they played basketball in the gym. So much of the team's energies were focussed, understandably of course, on the rescued women as they had suffered so much. But the X-men also made sure that the rescued males received any counseling they needed, and they ensured that they would not become bored and restless on the ship. Two teams had been organized into a basketball game that morning, and Bobby was assigned to keep an eye on them and hang out in case they needed anything.

Bobby checked his watch. One hour, 25 minutes until he was scheduled for his bridge duty shift. He stifled a yawn. Sports didn't do much for him, and bridge duty likely wouldn't be too much fun either. He started when he heard a noise behind him. Almost silently, Wolverine had come up behind him.

"Hey," Wolverine said.

"Hi," Iceman returned the greeting. He smiled out of habit, though right then Wolverine was not exactly his favorite person.

"Nice game they got goin'."

`Okay, what does he want?" Bobby wondered. `Wolverine generally doesn't make small-talk.' Bobby's response to Wolverine's comment was to nod.

"Hey, Bobby," Logan began, "I jus' wanted to apologize to you for what happened on the bridge." There was no need to explain what incident was being referred to. "You were capable of handling it. You were doin' a good job. I'm used to workin' with Storm and…." He let his voice trail off.

Bobby was so floored that Logan actually apologized, he was speechless for a second. He nodded his head and said, "Thank you." He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You've been doin' a good job with all your training," Wolverine went on. "You're doing great with karate. Keep it up."

"Thanks," Bobby repeated. He then added, "I'm glad you said this to me."

With that, the Canadian abruptly left. Bobby stood there, still shocked that Wolverine apologized. He idly wondered whether Storm or the Professor had put him up to it. Little did Bobby know, Logan had decided to do this on his own.

* * *

"Your assistance here has been invaluable, Panda," Beast said to Jessica Martin as they worked side by side in sick bay that afternoon. She had been assisting him since almost day-one

"I'm glad to help," she said simply.

"You seem to have a natural aptitude for this sort of work. Did you ever consider medical school?"

"In fact, I did, Beast. When I started college, my major was biology. I thought about becoming an MD or going into research. But you know, then they barred mutants from attending college, so I was kicked out." She laid out these facts simply, speaking without obvious anger or resentment. "I guess things were different in your day, huh?"

"Yes," Hank said, nodding. It was horrifying to realize how much ground had been lost.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, noticing the far-way look in his eyes. It was not a look she frequently saw from Beast, given how focussed he had always been.

"I was reminiscing about the lack of discrimination against mutants, years ago. When I began medical school, and mind you this was approximately 16 years ago, forbidding mutants from attending college would have been unheard of. In fact, my teachers and fellow students treated me very well from college all the way through medical school. There were, of course, always a few who snickered or made comments behind my back. However, for the most part everyone was tolerant. The most egregious harassment had occurred in high school and prior to that."

"It looks like things for mutants have gotten far, far worse."

Hank nodded, grimly. "I am sorry to say that is the case." He looked intently at Panda. "Perhaps it was naivete on my part, but I had never thought that such a thing as a Mutant Containment Center would ever come to exist."

Panda nodded, her usually placid expression now difficult to read. Beast realized she'd been assisting him for several days now, and yet he did not know much about her. He barely got time to sleep for 4 hours a night, let alone socialize. But something about the look on her face concerned him.

"You seem remarkably well for someone who spent so much time in….a Containment Center," Beast said quietly.

Panda nodded. "Maybe I'm still in shock that I'm actually free now. I think I'm a little numb." She smiled and shrugged, "Maybe working here with you is a bit therapeutic for me. Makes me feel like I'm doing some good and somehow it takes my mind off the months I was in there."

"There might come a day when you do wish to discuss your feelings about the experience with someone. You know there are several people on board the ship who will listen to you." He paused, "I am not trained as a counselor, but I also would be glad to lend an ear."

Panda smiled warmly. She placed a furry hand on Hank's arm and said, "Thank you."

Hank returned the smile. Panda then abruptly changed the topic as she withdrew her hand. "So, Beast, what do your friends call you? Do they use the name Beast or do they call you Henry?"

"Hank, actually. Only my father called me Henry. Please, feel free to call me by my given name. What about you? I assume that `Panda' was not the appellation given to you by your parents."

"It's Jessica. Jessica Martin. You can call me by either name, though I do admit that I like having an alias."

The two continued to converse during any breaks they were able to take during their busy day. At one point, Hank told her, "This evening the X-men are having a meeting to discuss our future plans. We need to decide what our long-term mission is and what to do with the mutants on board this vessel. Our thought is that many more mutants than we had originally considered want to return to earth. How do you feel, Jessica?"

"I have no desire to go back. It's too awful there, Hank. Before the Containment Centers, people used to throw rocks at me as I walked down the street or grab their children and run from me like I'm some monster….The only unfinished business I have there is letting my parents know that I'm alright."

* * *

The X-men had been used to eating all their meals sitting at a round table in the infirmary. This arrangement no longer worked, of course, now that sick bay was jam-packed and there were 208 other inhabitants of the ship.

The FOH had a mess hall on board their ship. It was far away from the bridge, the rec room, the infirmary and all the other areas that had been the nucleus of activities for the X-men. But they had no choice but to use the large hall for dining now.

That evening, Gambit was assigned the exciting task of keeping an eye on the rescued mutants as they ate dinner. Other than having to break up a scuffle between two of the young men, dinner began in an uneventful manner. A few of the mutants spotted Gambit and began asking him questions about the X-men and requesting he tell stories about some of their adventures. Gambit was glad to indulge them and they listened wide-eyed. After having heard so much misinformation about the X-men, they were interested in hearing what the Cajun had to say. However, after a time they lost interest and returned to their meal.

Gambit looked up as the doors to the mess hall opened, and Rogue entered the large room. He smiled as she approached him. "Chere," he said, reaching for and kissing her hands.

"Hey, Sugar," Rogue said. She couldn't resist returning his smile, even though she had not been having the best day.

The couple made their way to an area off to the side of the mess hall where they were out of earshot of the others, though they could still see them.

"How you doing, chere?" Gambit asked.

Rogue only smiled and gave him a look. He knew how she felt, and he basically felt the same way. Rogue and Gambit wished they were liberating more mutant camps, instead of having to play guardian with all of these rescued mutants. "`Bout as well as can be expected," Rogue said. "Seeing you always make me feel better, though, Swamp Rat."

Gambit smiled again and his heart just filled as he looked into her eyes. She had the most beautiful smile, despite that she was missing the two teeth the FOH soldiers had torn from her. "Same for me, amor."

"I'm just really glad for Moira and Storm and the Professor," Rogue said. "Because of their help, there ain't as much need for Counselor Rogue as I had feared there'd be. Thank god."

"You still look stressed `dough."

Rogue sighed. "I guess things could always be worse," was all she said.

"Hey, Gambit got an idea! Let's go on a date."

Rogue scrunched her eyebrows together. "What?"

"A date, chere! Let's plan a date."

"Okay, Swamp Rat. Exactly where do you say we outta go? Should we take the last shuttle, go back to earth, hope no one notices that we're mutants so we can catch dinner and a show?'

"No, we can go on a date here. On dis ship. We could….get dressed up like we goin' somewhere fancy. We could have dinner in our room by candlelight. We could take a bath together by candelight."

"Mmmmmm…." Rogue mused. "Now you're talkin'! `Cept, you know we can't do it tonight. We got that meeting with the other X-men right after dinner."

"Well, how `bout tomorrow den?"

"That sounds good….I gotta see if I can sneak away to one of the replicators and make myself a nice evening gown before then."

"Or you could jus' wear one of dose numbers you replicated earlier," Gambit suggested, with a wicked gleam in his eyes. There was no need to clarify exactly what sort of outfit he was referring to.

"Hmmm….that could be even better. You always have such nice ideas, Cajun," Rogue said. She stepped towards him to give him a hug.

* * *

Months ago, when the low supply of dilithium had been a major concern, we closed down all the areas of the ship that were un-used. Now that we knew the location of that moon with endless supplies of the precious substance, and now that we had 200 other people on board the ship, the entire ship was in use. It put a strain on our dilithium to have the entire ship in operation, our cloaking device on and be traveling at our maximum speed, but we did have a huge supply of dilithium and knew we could always make a trek to that moon to get more. It was a little difficult to get accustomed to having to walk the length of the ship to get somewhere, but that extra space was needed. We had located another meeting room (given that the first one had been turned into our rec room) on the other end of the ship, and we all made our way down several long halls to get there. Once we all arrived, we sat around a large, square table.

Gambit, Rogue, the Professor, Hank, Colossus and I were joined by Nightcrawler, Moira MacTaggert, Psylocke and Angel. Storm and Wolverine were on bridge duty and were listening in.

Before the meeting got underway, I kept glancing at Angel and Psylocke. Every time I had seen them over the past several days, he's looked preoccupied with and extremely worried for her. That was a constant. She, on the other hand, was different every time I'd glimpsed her. I don't mean that physically she looked different; rather her mental condition was what varied. She did not seem to be having one of her better days that particular evening. She kept her head down and her body seemed to shake a bit. She looked up for a few seconds and I craned my neck around to get a look at her eyes. What I saw was frightening. She looked a bit mad, as in crazy.

I fleetingly wondered what good it would do Angel and Psylocke to have them there, but they were X-men and had every right to be in the meeting.

Hank began the meeting with a summary of the physical condition the rescued mutants were in. The Professor supplemented his report with a summary of their mental condition. I gotta say it was hard to just sit there and listen to it, even though it was nothing we didn't already know. It still is difficult to hear that one-third of the women now have some sort of sexually transmitted disease or listen to their equally bruised emotional states. Glancing around the table, it was easy to see the rage in my teammates's eyes as well. Everyone seemed to be holding it in remarkably well. Maybe we've all just seen too much and we're getting numb now.

The Professor did say that he'd begun work with Moira's step-daughter Siryn, and that she was making encouraging progress. That was good to hear; Moira seemed to smile as he said that. I dearly hoped he would work with Psylocke soon.

"Our next matter is to discuss where we are going from here," the Professor said.

"I want to rescue as many mutants as possible from these camps," Rogue said. "I dunno if it makes the most sense for us to fly all the way back to An'zhina and then go back to earth. We could save a lot of time if we raided several camps at once."

"It might not be feasible to do so," Hank said. "This ship has the capacity for a limited number of people at once."

"And we," Storm began, "may only be able to assist so many camp survivors at once. Providing counseling and help to the rescued mutants is a monumental job." The weary sound of her voice over the intercom said it all.

"Another thing we gotta realize is that we probably'll need more X-men to do the fightin' against the FOH when we liberate the camps," Wolverine said. "We succeeded this time, but from now on, you can bet those bastards will be expectin' us."

"And we have only eight of us who are trained and ready for combat," Storm said.

Nightcrawler spoke up, "In future missions, I will be able to help you though." I knew he'd been making use of our Danger Room already.

"I, too," Angel said.

No comment from Psylocke.

"But still, 10 fighters ain't a whole lot," I said. "Especially now that FOH is expecting us. Who knows what kind of weapons they got cooked up."

Gambit shook his head. "We need more. We need more of everythin'. We need more fighters and more people who can do de counseling work. We be putting a lot of strain on ourselves to be doing both."

"We can start trainin' the ones we rescued," Wolverine said. "A handful of them talked to me about wanting that."

The Professor nodded. "Yes. However, it does take time to get people trained to the level where they are ready to go on missions or operate a starship and its weapons systems."

We talked about this some more. Gambit's words kept resurfacing-we need * more* of everything to keep up these rescue missions. It's pretty amazing what a handful of us have already accomplished.

The discussion rolled around to the question of what to do with the mutants who did not wish to return to An'zhina. "Of course," Hank said, "several of the camp survivors are not in a mental condition where they are even able to decide about their future plans."

"Most of those who are," the Professor took off from there, "have expressed a desire to live-at least temporarily-on An'zhina. Approximately 20-30 percent of those I have spoken with want to return to earth and attempt to live underground."

"Why do they want to return to earth?" Angel asked. I guessed he'd spent most of his time with Psylocke and hadn't been discussing this with his fellow ex-prisoners.

"A lot of `em have family and other loved ones back on earth," Rogue said.

"They're crazy for wantin' to go back," Wolverine said. "They don't have much of a chance of staying underground for too long."

"You never know," I said. "Last we checked in with the surviving members of Alpha Flight, they've managed to stay alive underground for a while."

"Dey been trained fighters for years 'dough," Gambit said. "A lot of dese people on board now are jus' ordinary mutants without any fancy powers and wit' no training."

We talked about this for a while longer. At last, we came to an agreement. We would return to An'zhina, dropping off those who wanted to remain there. We would then head back for earth to another rescue mission, where we would liberate as many camps as possible. We would also drop off anyone who wanted to return to earth.

Storm then suggested that we make a list of our needs. Roughly speaking, we needed fighters, we needed counselors, and we needed people who could assist us during starship-to-starship battles in space. We also needed trainers-those who could train others to excel in any of those categories. The Danger Room could do only so much for those who wanted to train on their own; they would still need someone to monitor their progress and provide insights for improvement. Finally, we needed medical personnel. Hank simply could not be expected to serve as our only one who's had any formal training.

"We hae quite a huge undertaking," Moira summarized.

We talked it over some more. Finally, Hank got up to one of the flipcharts in the room and we began putting people into categories. Here is what we decided upon.

The Professor and Moira would head up the counseling function, with Storm and Rogue assisting with this work as needed. Just as we had thought, many of the girls and women only wanted to speak with another woman. The Professor and Moira would also seek out those who could work as counselors and train them.

Storm, Wolverine, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Angel, Nightcrawler and I would all serve as fighters. Our goal would be to train the other mutants-those who wanted to, of course-in getting their fighting skills up to speed as well as keeping our own as sharp as possible.

We discussed separating out "bridge duty" from everything else, but we agreed that it was something we would all need to know. We agreed that anyone training as a fighter should also know how to fly the ship and stave off other FOH vessels. These are, however, entirely different skills from holding your own during hand-to-hand combat or against lots of soldiers in a rescue mission, but both types of training are important.

Hank, of course, would head up the medical function-not just serving as the doctor but also training others to assist him. Needless to say, this was so herculean a task that it pretty much precluded him from doing anything else. So many of the rescued mutants needed immediate and constant medical supervision. He said out of all the rescued mutants, he only knew of one who had had any medical training at all. She went by the name Panda. I'd seen her working with Hank several times in sick bay but I'd been so busy that I hadn't really had time to talk to her much. From what he said during the meeting, Hank seemed to regard her quite highly.

Of course, the Professor and Storm would continue to act as our overall leaders. If Cyclops ever rejoined us, he would as well.

We did talk about Cyclops, Jean and Jubilee. I mean, aside from the fact that we all missed them, their skills sure would come in handy if they did ever want to travel with us on missions again. Needless to say, the choice would be theirs. No one could fault them for wanting to ensure that their children would be safe and not grow up orphans.

One other thing too. There were the basic ship functions that still needed to be attended to - things like life support and engineering, as well as administrative items like ensuring the over 200 mutants on board had something to do, had someone to go to when they needing things, didn't get out of hand, understood some basic things about living on board a starship, etc. We discussed at length the best way to ensure these administrative duties got taken care of as well. Finally, we agreed that those fighters who are less skilled at combat -and therefore not totally ready to be training others-would be put in change of this arena. It was felt that these duties would not be the best use of the time of Storm, Wolverine, Colossus, Rogue and Gambit-they'd been X-men so long and instead should focus on training others. Therefore, I was asked to head this up, with Nightcrawler and Angel assisting me.

I know that some might look down on such as assignment, but I didn't. It was work that needed to get done, and having lived on board the ship for the last year and a half, I would know what to do. And I agreed with the assessment that I was not quite ready to begin training other fighters. This would ensure that I stayed busy, though, given that I was still to be training as a fighter. Angel, Nightcrawler, and I agreed to meet the next day to talk about this assignment in more detail.

The meeting ran late into the evening. I really would have liked to go to sleep, but I was scheduled for bridge duty with Nightcrawler. Joy. It would be 5 more hours still before I could go to bed. I knew I'd need more coffee

I'd been trying to swallow my yawns but they were getting out of hand, and one slipped through. It felt good to open my mouth. I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms back.

Kurt smiled as he saw me yawn. He, then, was forced to do the same. We both smiled. "Sorry," I muttered.

"More coffee for you, maybe?" he asked.

"No, thanks Kurt. We're not going to be here all night and I do want to be able to get * some* sleep tonight. Or this morning." I looked at my watch and started to say, "We only have two-" before I stopped myself. "Sorry," I said to Kurt. He did not like to know how much time was remaining before we'd be relieved of duty.

Kurt punched a few buttons on one of the consoles, performing a routine scan of the area of space we were in. I told him, "I gotta say, Kurt, you really picked this up fast. You know your way around the bridge well." Whenever one of us was on bridge duty with Nightcrawler or Angel, we spent our time getting them up to speed on the ship functions, and Kurt had really learned quickly.

"Thank you," he said. "These controls are not exceptionally difficult to learn."

"Yeah, we always used to joke that FOH really had to dumb it down in order to be able to understand it themselves. Like they told the designers, `Make everything as user-friendly as possible.'"

Kurt gave a quick smile. We'd already spent quite some time that night on training him, and I sensed he wanted to relax. He sat back in his chair, and said, "Tell me, Bobby, about the last year and a half that I missed. I hear bits and pieces from everyone. This last week has been so crazy. I want to hear your version."

I tilted my head up. "So much happened," I said. "I'm not even sure where to begin."

"Well, tell me about the children. Aurora and Charlotte."

"You've seen their pictures, right?" I asked. Kurt nodded. Before we left, we took pictures of Jean, Cyclops, Jubilee and their babies with us. They took pictures of the rest of us for themselves back on An'zhina. "Well, they're kind of young now so it's hard to say what their personalities will be like. They are both mutants."

"I wonder what their mutations will be," Kurt said. "Will they inherit their parents' powers or will it be something entirely different?"

"I wonder too." We spoke a bit more about the kids. I mentioned that Jubilee was really a great mom, and what a happy baby Aurora always seemed to be.

Kurt looked pensive I was really wondering what he was thinking of, when he spoke. "It must be very hard on her to have to bear….a rapist's child."

"You know, it's interesting. Jubilee and I have become pretty close, and she never has expressed to me any negative feelings about it. She insisted that she really wanted to have the baby. We were all so stunned when she told us that she was pregnant, but she insisted that she wanted the baby."

"She is amazingly strong, that Jubilee," Kurt mused. "People underestimate her."

"I would never underestimate her," I said. "I could always tell she was a tough one." We lapsed into a bit of silence. A question popped into my head, and my instincts told me Kurt would be ok with me asking it. "Kurt," I began, "what got you through it? What helped you survive the time you spent in the FOH camp?"

"God helped me through it," he said. "He gave me the strength. I prayed and I refused to give up hope. I knew that the rest of the X-men had to be alive and would be returning."

I tried to come up with a neutral response. I've got nothing against anyone's religion, but my experience with "Christians" while I grew up in Michigan involved them throwing judgement and hatred my way. "I'm glad you didn't give up hope on us. And I bet the mutants back on earth could use your prayers."

"I do pray for them," Kurt said, nodding. "And I pray for the people who have joined the Friends of Humanity."

I turned my head towards him and the look on my face must've made my feelings clear.

"They need help, Bobby," Kurt said. "They fear the unknown and they fear us. They allowed their fear to turn into hatred."

"You know, there are people and things that I'm afraid of too, but I'd never spew out hateful propaganda about them or imprison them. And I sure wouldn't assault them and leave them in the condition Psylocke is in!" I shuddered thinking of it. "And you didn't see how bad Jubilee was after FOH was done with her."

"I share your anger," Kurt said, though he sounded quite calm. "But we must forgive our enemies."

I shook my head. "You should read the report that Marie from Alpha Flight wrote about what FOH did to her and her teammates. Forcing members of the team to rape each other, forcing people to eat insects." My voice cracked with disgust. "The FOH are sick, sick, sick….and they're the ones who call * us* `evil'?" I paused. "I will never forgive them."

We didn't discuss that topic any more that night.

* * *

`The Professor is gonna tan our hides if he finds out about this,' Rogue thought to herself, as she quickly worked the replicator in the rec room. She knew she had only a few minutes for the machine to finish its work-Storm had reserved the rec room for a few hours that evening to hold a counseling session with a group of women. Because meeting room space was at such a premium, Bobby had come up with a system where someone could book a room if they needed to.

The replicator finished its work, and Rogue took the contents and stuffed them into her duffel bag. She then scurried out of the rec room and down the hall towards Storm's room. She hoped that the Professor was so occupied that he would not be reading her mildly guilty thoughts.

That evening was the evening that Rogue and Gambit had scheduled their date. It wound up being a few days later than they had originally wanted, but they had to pick an evening when neither would be on bridge duty until well into the following day. Rogue herself had just finished up her shift.

Rogue and Gambit had agreed to meet in their room at 7p.m. for their date. Rogue wanted her look to be a surprise to Remy, so she'd asked Storm if she could prepare for her date in Storm's room. Storm was happy to oblige her friend in this manner.

The door to Storm's room slid closed, and Rogue dumped the contents of her duffel bag out onto Storm's unmade bed. Rogue took a second to glimpse around the room, a bit surprised at the unkempt condition that the orderly Storm had allowed her room to come to. 'I guess it ain't a surprise,' Rogue thought to herself. 'Shit, we hardly get 10 minutes to ourselves a day. Who's got time to make the bed?'

Rogue's day had started quite a bit earlier in the morning than she would have preferred, as all her days now did. The entire morning was spent in training….she and the others were training a small group of mutants, as well as training each other. Afterwards, she and Gambit had grabbed a quick lunch together in the mess hall. Gambit then left to lead several of the mutants in a group activity for the afternoon. The first part of Rogue's afternoon was spent providing counseling services. She detested this task, but the simple fact was that a lot of women on board the ship desperately needed someone female to talk to. Rogue was spending a lot of time letting people cry on her shoulder and listening to them recant absolutely horrifying experiences. All Rogue could do was pretend momentarily that she hadn't lived through the same abominations. She noted that several of the women were missing teeth, as she was, and a few had even asked her if the FOH had pulled them out too.

After her counseling sessions, Rogue's day continued with bridge duty. After her shift, she had then sprinted over to the rec room to get in and replicate her evening gown before Storm took over the room.

Rogue checked the time. She had 20 minutes before her date with Gambit. She removed her uniform, dearly hoping she'd packed everything in the duffel bag that she would need. She took a quick shower. Afterwards, she slipped on the gown that she had just replicated. It was a dramatic, sleek black number, with a slit up the side and a low-cut neckline.

Rogue then went to work on her hair. She tried numerous times to coax it into an up-swept elegant style, but her wavy locks just would not cooperate. Getting frustrated, Rogue settled for keeping her hair styled in its usual way, cascading down her shoulders. She then sighed and studied her reflection in the mirror. She really wished for a bit of make-up. Of course, Gambit always told her she was beautiful without it and didn't need any. And although Rogue could justify to herself replicating clothing, she couldn't mentally justify replicating make-up.

`Oh shoot! I forgot to pack shoes,' Rogue realized, fishing through her duffel bag. She would have to do without. It was now 7pm.

Rogue scurried down the hall to the room she shared with Gambit. On her way to their quarters, she passed Colossus. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted with satisfaction that the Russian gave her an appreciative look.

When the door to their room slid aside, Rogue's eyes needed a moment to become adjusted. The lights were off. Instead, the room was lit by candlelight. A small table had been brought in, with two chairs placed around it. A bouquet of flowers adorned the center of the table. * Replicated* flowers, but beautiful flowers nonetheless.

"Remy!" Rogue exclaimed, pleased at the work he'd done.

"You like, chere?" Gambit asked. He was wearing a typical Gambit-evening out ensemble, and he looked stunning. His auburn hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"The flowers are beautiful." She paused and looked at him through the dim light. "So are you."

"You look stunning tonight, chere," Gambit breathed. They stepped close to each other, ready for an embrace. Rogue instinctively stepped back and turned towards the shelves in the room. She retrieved her collar and put it on.

"Much better," she said, smiling. She returned to Gambit and stepped into an embrace. He tilted her head up and covered her lips with his. His kiss was soft, wet and probing. Gambit always had this effect on her. Suddenly she didn't want dinner anymore, didn't want to bathe by candlelight with him, she just wanted him to make love to her.

But Gambit broke off the kiss. He reached for one of her hands, kissed it, and then led her to the table. "The night is still young, chere," he said. They sat together at the table.

Rogue was just starting to wonder how exactly Gambit planned to get dinner to them, when a knock was heard on their door. "Come on in, Bobby," Gambit called as Rogue looked quizzically at her date.

Bobby Drake entered, carrying a tray of food. Gambit got up and helped Bobby place the bowls and wine glasses on the table. Rogue giggled. "Bobby, what did Gambit bribe you with to get you to play waiter?"

"No bribing necessary," Bobby said. "I'm just a nice guy." After dinner was placed on the table, Bobby wished the couple well and departed.

"What a sweetie he is," Rogue said, after Bobby had gone. "You're such a sweetheart, too, Remy. Goin' to all this trouble so we can have a nice evening like this."

All during dinner, and later during their candlelit bubble bath, the couple half expected some alarm to go off or some ensuing crisis to interrupt their date. Yet no emergency called them away this time.

The most difficult thing they had to deal with that evening was the fact that the bathtub was really only made for one person and they could not both fit inside it no matter how they arranged and rearranged their long limbs. Laughing, they dodged the puddles on the bathroom floor and dried off. Gambit carried Rogue to the bed, and all the stress they'd been experiencing was long forgotten.

Later, Rogue was laying on her back, her legs spread wide. Gambit's lips and tongue were wreaking havoc on her, causing her to feel such inexpressibly wondrous sensations. She stroked his head, threading her fingers through his silky auburn hair. "Oh god Remy….feels so good," she murmured. One of Gambit's hands reached up and caressed a plump breast as his mouth continued to taste her.

Rogue didn't have anything or anyone to compare Gambit too. All she knew was that making love with him was amazing, he was so skilled and so...sensual. Like how he was right then taking his time, loving her throbbing little bud with his tongue as if they had all the time in the galaxy, as if it were some precious jewel he desired or the most delicious fruit he'd ever tasted and wanted to savor. "Reeeeemy," Rogue groaned again. She removed her hand from his head and instead grabbed the bed boards. Her body left her no choice but to thrust and thrust against Gambit's tongue. She felt it coming, felt the climax build up inside her. She began to thrust so furiously that she feared she would buck him off, but Gambit held on. He loved the feeling of her little nub swelling and throbbing against the ministrations of his tongue. The soundproof walls of the ship came in handy so no one heard Rogue scream when her peak overwhelmed her.

When her hips stopped moving, Gambit lifted his head up. "Again?" he asked. Rogue had the heavy-lidded eyes of a very contented cat. Gambit, meanwhile, was in heaven. There was no sight in the world more breathtaking to him than that of Rogue laying on her back with her legs open to him, invitingly. He adored the look on her face, the look of the woman he loved in the throes of desire.

"Oh, Remy…..so good. So good."

He began to dip his head back down, but Rogue murmured, "Want you inside me now, love."

A brief interruption was necessary as Gambit reached for the condom on the nightstand. He tore the wrapper off and sheathed his long, throbbing cock. Gambit then repositioned himself above his lover. He bent his head to kiss her mouth and whispered endearments in French to her. He then reached around for one of her ears and lightly nibbled on it.

Rogue groaned, relishing every second. She gasped as Remy suddenly entered her, easily sliding into her very wet warmth. He plunged forward and then moved his hips, slowly at first. Rogue's cries urged him to move faster.

The feelings were just as exquisite for Remy. He'd never loved a woman as much as he loved Rogue. She was such a passionate woman, so eager for his touch and so appreciative of his lovemaking. All this was combined with the heavenly physical sensations-her velvety pussy clutching him, the wetness gripping his hardness, Rogue's ever-building moans. They now knew how to reach a climax together, and they slowly built towards it. "Oh, chere," Gambit breathed. "Oh….….you feel it?" he asked, knowing they both were getting closer to the explosion. His thrusts become harder, faster and more powerful. They cried out as they came together.

The couple remained there for many long moments. They later shifted position so that Rogue lay on top of Gambit, her head resting on his chest. Their bodies were coated with sweat. Gambit absentmindedly stroked her damp hair as they drifted off into a contented sleep.

* * *

"Elena seems to be doing better," Panda said to Beast one day. They were taking a brief break during their hectic day, eating lunch together in a corner of the infirmary. The round table where the X-men had eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day for months and months was gone as the space in sick bay was needed. Panda and Beast ate with trays on their laps, sitting in two chairs facing each other.

"She is indeed responding well to the drugs, and the infection she has should be completely gone in a matter of weeks," Hank said. "She has also been eating steadily and the malnutrition is gradually being reversed." Many of the female prisoners suffered from severe malnutrition. During their time in the Mutant Containment Centers, many had simply been unable to make themselves eat and were wasting away. FOH had force fed a few of them, but the nutritional needs of most had been brutally under-met.

"I really meant that she seems to be doing better emotionally," Panda said.

"Ah, yes. I also see improvement there. Professor Xavier has been working with her."

"He seems like a remarkable man," Panda mused. Hank had told her a bit of the X-men's experiences. Whenever they had a spare moment, they talked and Panda was learning bits and pieces about the X-men and what they had accomplished over the last 10-15 years.

"I admire the Professor more than anyone," Hank said. He thought of going into more detail and telling her a bit about why he so looked up to the Professor, but something she had said a moment ago lingered in his mind. He changed the subject. "Panda, back to what you said about Elena," Hank began. "I have noticed that you always seem to be equally concerned about our patients' emotional and physical condition."

"Of course," she said, shrugging. "If we're going to treat people, we have to treat the whole person. I don't necessarily separate the mental from the physical."

"A holistic view of healing, one which I support as well. I wonder if you might like to try your hand at counseling. I know that the Professor, Moira, Rogue and Storm are devoting as much of their energies as possible to assisting the rescued mutants. But there is only so much 4 people can do to help 200 people, especially given how severely many of the 200 were tortured. There will always be a need for more people to listen and help."

Panda nodded. "I know what you mean, Hank. But I have no experience with serving as a therapist. I'm afraid it would be a bit like blind leading blind." She paused, and hesitated. She considered revealing to Hank that she, too, had been raped at the hands of FOH soldiers. Perhaps her situation had not quite as dire as the other women. Panda rationalized that she had only been raped a handful of times, whereas the other women had been gang raped constantly for months on end. But still….what Panda experienced haunted her as well.

Hank looked deep into her eyes. "Are-are you alright, Jessica?" he asked. He thought he saw something flash across her face.

She forced a smile. She had no wish to burden this gentle and kind man with her troubles. And she really did not wish to reveal to anyone that she had been raped. "I'm fine, Hank. But I really think I am just not cut out for counseling at this stage."

"It was just a thought. As you know, I am desperate for help here as well. You are doing a remarkable job."

"Thank you." She paused and changed the subject, "So tell me, Hank. Which do you prefer-working with patients and healing them, or performing scientific research?"

He tilted his head up and considered. "Truly, I love them both. The thrill of a scientific discovery, of learning something new. However, seeing someone recover his or her health is also a thrill."

"You were born for this work."

Hank smiled. "So, I think, were you, Panda. It saddens me that you were not permitted to attend medical school

"Well, it looks like I have me a great teacher right here," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

* * *

The Professor approached Rogue and Gambit one evening. He asked to have a moment with them in private. Neither Rogue nor Gambit, of course, possessed the Professor's extraordinary telepathic abilities, but both had a good guess as to what this discussion would be regarding.

"I must ask that both of you refrain from replicating unnecessary items," Charles said to the couple.

Rogue blushed and looked down at her hands, which she had folded and placed in her lap. She wasn't sure exactly how many different items of lingerie she now had, and add to that the evening gown, the wine and flowers that Gambit had created for their date….

"I trust you understand that I am not making this request in order to be didactic. As you know, we have sufficient dilithium to last us several years. However, if you two are allowed to replicate such items, then everyone else will want the same privilege. And we do not have enough dilithium for 200 people to replicate whatever they want. We have to now set an example."

"I'm sorry, Professor," Rogue said, still looking down. At least, she told herself, her teacher surely could sense that her remorse was sincere.

Remy smiled and looked at the Professor. "We be good from now on, Professor. We very sorry."

The Professor nodded and turned his hover chair towards the door. They exchanged goodbyes, and the Professor left the room.

"Oh, how embarassin'!" Rogue said. Her cheeks were flushed.

"Is ok, chere," Gambit said, patting her hand. "Don' worry about it."

"But god, do you think he knows about the black number with the garters and the G-string?"

"And the see-through bra!" Gambit added, smiling.

"Wipe that grin off yer face, Swamp Rat!" Rogue exclaimed, playfully slapping him.

* * *

"Thank god I'm a dyke."

The words were spoken by Marrow, a young American woman in her late teens. A survivor of the camps, she was one of the mutants who expressed a desire to join the X-men. Her mutation manifested itself in that several of her bones grew right through her skin. She had the ability to detach them and use them as weapons, though breaking the bones off always caused her pain. It was quite a unique mutation; none of the X-men had ever seen anything like this before. Although short and slender, Marrow (who rarely went by her given name of Sarah) had a formidable appearance-sharp bones jutting through areas of her face, shoulders, arms, back, and legs. Even if it weren't for the bones, the look in her eyes would have been enough to scare many.

She had been working extensively with the X-men on training, and that particular morning was taking a rest break alongside Storm when Marrow made her declaration.

Storm smiled at Marrow's statement. The young woman could never be called subtle.

"I mean it," Marrow continued. "I mean, I've known that I'm a lesbian all my life, but shit if I wasn't one before entering the camps, I sure would be now. I don't know how any woman could live through that and not be a dyke now."

Storm once again smiled and took a swig of water, at a bit of a loss for what to say. She knew that Marrow partly just wanted a reaction, and Storm was not really in the mood to just give her one.

"This is the first I have heard you make a reference to….what you survived at the camps. Have you reconsidered your decision to forgo counseling? Perhaps you would benefit from talking about your experiences." Storm said.

"Oh, come on. Quit talking like some professional therapist. I really have no desire to sit there and stare at someone while they listen to my sob story. No thanks. * This* is the best therapy money can buy."

"Working with the X-men, you mean?" Storm asked. Marrow was one of the few of the new mutants who had not been the least bit awed by the chance to train with the X-men. Unlike many of the others, she never expressed her gratitude towards them for the rescue or the training.

"Uh-huh. I can't wait to kick some FOH butt." Marrow abruptly changed the subject. "So are there any other gay people here or am I the only one?"

"Well, as far as I know, there is only one other gay person on the ship. No one else has come forward and revealed their orientation."

"So who's the other one? Oh, I know. It's Bobby isn't it?" Marrow knew him from training with him and the other X-men.

Storm's instinct had been to protect Iceman's privacy. After all, he had not ever really stated that he wanted to be out to everyone. However, since Marrow clearly already knew, Storm nodded.

"He seems like a total wuss."

"He's not. He's very brave, and he's a very good fighter. I'm proud to have him as a member of the team, and as a friend."

"Yeah, whatever. Well, if you run into any other lesbians, will you send them my way? Its sucks if I'm gonna be the only one here."

"Of course."

Marrow twisted the lid off her water bottle. "Why are we always drinking crap like water? I want some booze."

Storm again smiled at the young woman's comment. If she lasted as an X-man, she would be quite a challenge to work with.

"So how much longer till we reach this moon place that we're allowed to stay at?" Marrow asked.

"We have about three weeks of our journey left," Storm replied.

"What a waste of time. Once we get there, we gotta come all the way back to earth. I can't wait to get my hands on those Fuckers on Heroin…..I mean, Friends of Humanity." Marrow then made a gesture that mimicked ripping off one of her bones and brandishing it as a weapon against an opponent.

"Killing is not the X-men's way, Marrow," Storm said.

Marrow ignored her.

* * *

"Charles, I think you and I will be needing counseling after this," Moira said to the Professor one morning during their daily breakfast together. He knew that she was only partly joking.

The Professor nodded and looked down at his tea. "This work is indeed grueling. I do, however, find it very rewarding when I see a patient make progress."

"Siryn is getting better every day. I canna thank you enough for that, Charles."

"She has a very strong mind, Moira. The more mutants I work with, the more impressed I become at their resilience. After having endured so much, they find strength within themselves." Charles tried to keep his tone positive, as he was not a man to linger on the negatives. However, having worked with so many rape survivors, his mind was so often filled with the abhorrent images of what they had lived through. He experienced it in a way that very few men ever could because part of the healing process involved entering the survivor's mind. He had to force himself to focus on the positive and remain optimistic.

"I hope that will continue to be true, and that Siryn will be alright in the long term." She sighed. "The poor girl. She was tortured beyond belief, and on top of that she had to be told that her father was killed. Siryn and Sean were so close. He was crazy about her, always was. It just breaks my heart-" Moira stopped suddenly. She had not at all intended to dwell on her loss or go down that road, but images of the love that she and Sean had shared filled her mind. His warm smile, his laugh, his tenderness. She would never experience those things again. And her son…..Moira's voice cracked and she had to fight to compose herself. "I'm sorry," she managed as the tears formed.

"Moira, please," Charles said gently. "Feel free to cry if you need to. You yourself have lost much. And you have been spending all of your time helping others without hardly a thought to yourself. Cry if you need to. I am here for you."

Charles had been without the use of his legs for a very long time now. The Professor was not a man prone to self-pity. At that moment, however, he found himself fervently wishing he could rise from his wheelchair and hug Moira. Instead, the large hover chair formed such a barrier around him.

Moira no longer attempted to hold back her tears, and she began to cry freely. The Professor extended his arms. Moira rose and walked to the side of his hover chair. From that angle, Charles was able to embrace her, albeit awkwardly.

After several moments, Moira pulled back. She used her napkin as a handkerchief to wipe away her tears. "I feel much better now, " she said, resolutely, though they both knew she was lying. "Thank you, Charles."

"Moira, if you ever wish to talk about-"

"No, no, thank you, Charles. I do appreciate the offer. But you and I need to remain strong and remain focussed. We have to help the rescued prisoners and we canna spend time dwelling on our own sorrows."

"There is no sense in being a martyr, either. We are only human."

Moira nodded. She placed the napkin back down on her table and forced herself to smile. "So, how is Psylocke doing?" she asked, looking up. Her tone was back to its normal resolute self. "Has she agreed to work with you yet?'

"No, she has not," Charles said, accepting the fact that Moira was not ready to talk about her own loss yet. "I have approached her a number of times. Whenever she is around me, she insists that she is fine. I know, of course, that is far from the case and her psyche is severely damaged. However, I cannot force someone to work with me. I can only hope that she changes her mind."

"I hope Warren will be successful in trying to persuade her."

"I hope so too," Charles said. He knew that Warren was in quite a state, sick with worry over Betsy and despairing that the real Betsy would ever return. No sense in bring that up now, as it was apparent to anyone, telepath or not, who spent any time around Warren.

"Moira," Charles began again, "have you thought of what you will do when we reach An'zhina? Will you remain there, or accompany us back to earth for another rescue mission?"

"My counseling services are needed here. I will accompany the group back. The only thing I can think of that would change my mind would be if Siryn wants to remain on An'zhina and is adamant that I stay with her. If so, I might have to abide by her wishes. We haven't discussed this yet." Moira paused. "I understand the temptation to remain on An'zhina, if it is as beautiful as you say it is. But I agree with something you mentioned to me so many years ago. I do not desire an easy life, but rather a moral life."

TO BE CONTINUED


	16. Chapter 16

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 16

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 16

Warren Worthington was the most angst-ridden he'd ever been. What made matters worse is that

he had no one to turn to. For the past three years, Betsy had been his confidant. `But I've lost her,' he thought to himself. He despaired of ever getting her back.

The Professor had offered to listen to Warren if need be, but Warren was not about to open up to him or any of the other X-men. Everyone was bone tired, working during all their waking hours of the day. Everyone had their own problems and a big enough burden. All he could do was hope Betsy would change her mind and agree to seek help from the Professor.

Betsy's behavior continued to be extremely erratic, and she was so far removed from the old Betsy he'd known. On any given day, she would spend her entire day crying. The next day she would appear just fine (and have no desire to discuss the previous day.) The day after that, she would yell and scream all day. She never, however, seemed to have a good grasp of her surroundings and she certainly never had any idea to resume training as a fighter. Anytime Warren brought up the idea of her receiving counseling from the Professor or Moira, Betsy refused. She was an eerie sort of shell of the woman he'd known and fallen in love with.

She was also extremely distant. On one of Betsy's better days, she had hugged and kissed Warren but that had been the extent of her affection. She never returned his "I love you" 's anymore, and she usually yanked his hand away if he tried to hold hers. Obviously, they had not made love since before they had been imprisoned by the FOH.

However, one day Betsy had marched into their room after dinner and grabbed Warren. She demanded that they have sex, right then and there, and she had started tugging at his clothing. Warren had been shocked, but his instinct told him to go along with her. He tried to, but was physically unable to-----her behavior was so bizarre, it almost seemed to him like he was dreaming the whole thing. Betsy had slapped him, dressed herself, and stomped out of their room.

Some nights she made Warren sleep on the floor. Other nights, she left their room and where she went, Warren had no idea. He never could find her. And on a tiny handful of nights, she gently pulled him towards her and cuddled against him as they fell asleep.

One day, we had finished up our morning training sessions. I was to spend my afternoon on some of the administrative work that needed to get done, while the rest of the X-men were to work with our new "recruits." But lunch was first, which I was glad for since I was starving. We had meals at structured times, so I joined a steady stream of people who were heading for the mess hall.

Once in the dining room, we all lined up by the food replicators and each got our own lunches. I spotted Storm and Wolverine sitting at a table by themselves. Storm made eye contact with me and waved me over. I gladly went over to their table.

"It's so weird," I said, setting my tray down and settling across from Storm and Wolverine. "I can't quite get used to all these other people on board the ship, when we had it to ourselves for so long."

Storm nodded. "It does take some adjusting to."

"I don't like seein' all these mutants being so….disciplined," Wolverine said. "Look at `em. You don't see them fighting or acting out much, like I would expect. We set up a schedule and they stick to it."

"I am also surprised at how docile they are," Storm said. "However, perhaps it is normal for people who have spent months inside such a prison. After following such a rigid and structured daily pattern for so long, they cannot get used to the fact that they could….act out, if they wanted to. Many people are creatures of habit."

"Maybe we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth," I said. "I think it would be way worse if they were always fighting and not going along with us."

"Speaking of fighting," Storm began, "we've been training a handful of mutants for about two weeks now. What are your impressions?" She directed the question towards Wolverine since I wasn't working so much on the training.

Wolverine sighed. "I gotta remind myself to be patient with `em," was all he said.

Storm nodded. "I also remind myself that it is too early to get disappointed with their progress. My first instinct was that I am unimpressed with how their training is developing at this point, but they need more time. We are used to working with the X-men and we need to remind ourselves that training takes time."

"Not too many of `em have the kind of powers we do," Wolverine said.

I knew he was right. As a general statement, most mutants, it seemed, looked different or had some other sort of quirk but very few had the sort of powerful abilities of the X-men. You don't often meet mutants who have healing factors and adamantium claws or those who can control the weather. "Very few of `em look like they're gonna make great fighters." Wolverine continued. Storm opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off. "I know, and I agree with what you said. But this is my reaction after a few weeks. Except for Marrow, though. I think she'll make a fierce fighter."

I nodded. I'd worked with her a few times, training alongside her. "She does seem very tough," I said.

Storm smiled. "Bobby, she asked me if there were any other gay mutants on board."

I nodded. "She told me she is."

"I thought you might be happy that you are no longer the only one on board, since I would imagine it could get lonely."  


I shrugged. Man it felt weird to be nonchalantly talking about this with Wolverine sitting right there. He didn't seem to like mind or anything as he took a bite of his meal. "I guess it's cool," I said. "But Marrow sure seems like she's the polar opposite of me. I can't say I get a warm fuzzy from her or anything like that."

"She certainly has a hard shell around her. Which is only natural, given what she has survived at the camps," Storm said. I kinda wondered how she could talk about it in a detached way, as if she hadn't lived through it herself.

Wolverine spoke, "She shows more promise than any of the others. And if she ain't exactly warm and friendly, who gives a damn?"

Storm took a breath. "I do worry, though, whether she'll uphold some of the principles that the X-men adhere to. I----"

At that point, two of those who Storm and Wolverine had been working with came up to our table and started asking them some questions. Our conversation was over.

"It is so nice to be somewhere where people don't snicker openly when I walk down the street or yell obscenities at me." Panda spoke these words as she and Hank ate dinner together inside one of the ship's meeting rooms. They had been training two of the other rescued mutants to keep watch over sick bay and contact them should an emergency arise. This allowed them to slip away from the infirmary for an hour or so at a time. This particular day, they elected to eat dinner in a place where they would not be faced with the interruptions of the mess hall.

Hank nodded. "I imagine it is hard to get used to."

Panda smiled. "I could get used to this pretty easily." She then turned somber. "In the camps, of course, the guards never let an opportunity to tell us that we're disgusting and evil slip by. But even before then, I couldn't walk down the street without getting laughed at or harassed."

"I think you will find that to be a great benefit among our fellow mutants. Most of them accept us for what we are and do not care about our appearance. I truly love other mutants."

A question popped into Panda's head. "Do you like being a mutant?"

"Yes," Hank answered, without hesitation. "Being a mutant has allowed me to experience many things that I otherwise would not have---such as all the adventures with the X-men and the many times we contributed to the greater good of humanity. And the friendship and community we X-men have. Though many in the team would not admit it, we are a closer-knit family than most biological families. It is priceless."

Hank paused and took a swig of his drink. "What about you, Jessica?"

"You mean---do I like being a mutant?"

Hank nodded.

Jessica shrugged. "I can't really say that I do because I haven't experienced those things you spoke about. Not too long ago, I would've thought the very notion we could * like* being this way was crazy. But now maybe….maybe on An'zhina, we mutants can make it our own society and we can have those things like community and acceptance. Maybe it could turn into a good thing for us."

"I have very high hopes for An'zhina. I think we can have those things. After what we witnessed on the Paradise planet," Hank began. He had mentioned the Paradise planet to Panda before, "we have seen that it is possible for people to live together in non-violence and peace. I think we mutants ---and those others like Moira who are supportive of us---can also create a community like that."

"Wow," Panda said, her eyes wide. "What a neat concept. Maybe some good can come out of all this." She then looked down at her plate. "But part of me feels guilty for thinking those thoughts when all the other mutants back on earth are suffering so much."

Hank nodded. "Guilt is a normal, human reaction. But logically, we know it is not our fault. We are working to rescue them and we will be alleviating their suffering."

Panda nodded. "No sense beating ourselves up for not being able to be everywhere at once." She absentmindedly stirred her tea with one finger as she rested her head on the other hand and looked up. "Hank," she began, "why are we this way?"

"Why are we mutants?"

"Uh-huh. What's the purpose of it all? And why us?"

Hank shrugged. "We are mutants for the same reason that some people are left-handed and some others have two different colored eyes. It is the same reason that some people are white and some are black, some are heterosexual and some are homosexual. It's genetic variation."

"But what does it all mean? Someday, is every human on earth going to be a mutant?"

"Theoretically, it is possible. However, if that does happen I do not envision it occurring for many, many years."

"That would be weird if everyone were a mutant. But it would be nice too. We could go back to earth and not be hated." Hank nodded and Panda continued. "I often ask myself why this had to happen to * me*. But I guess you'd just say it's luck of the draw, huh?"

Hank replied, "The evidence I've seen does indicate that the mutant gene appears at random. Except, of course, for those who have a mutant parent or parents and therefore have a greater chance of inheriting the gene."

"I know that what you're saying makes sense. But I gotta believe that there's a purpose to it all, and a reason why….why I look like this." Panda held her furry, clawed hands out in front of her. "A purpose other than giving the kids I went to high school with someone to torment every single day."

Hank looked at the pain that flashed across her eyes. She was a woman used to burying pain, and he speculated that, calm and centered though she might appear, there was hurt underneath. How could there not be? He suddenly was inspired to reach across the table and clasp her hand. The furriness against his own coat felt unusual and it felt surprisingly good. "We must each ask ourselves if there is a purpose and what that purpose might be." Hank felt the warmth from her hand against his own. "Perhaps our purpose has to do with teaching others some lessons in acceptance of others." The longer he held her hand, the more he realized that he did not want to relinquish it.

"If that's the case, I missed on that one," she said, shaking her head. "Maybe it is just a genetic fluke that we ended up this way." She wanted to say more, wanted to add that if so many mutant women are beautiful, why did she end up with * this* sort of mutation, this appearance? She was about to add that when Hank's communicator sounded.

"Dr. McCoy, can you come to sick bay?" asked the mutant named Ramon. He was one of the ones who was keeping watch over the infirmary in their absence. "Two of the guys were injured playing basketball and one of them says his ankle is really, really hurting."

"I'll be right there," Hank replied, removing his hand from Panda's. Their dinner was over.

It was the end of another exhausting day. Well, I guess I shouldn't complain too much; things could be a lot worse. We'd gotten the new crew members on a decent schedule, most stuck to it, and there really weren't any major crises. Sick bay was eventually clearing out as most of the women were physically recovering from their ordeal. But I was still tired.

I think the worst parts of the day were bridge duty. You really just had to hope that you were paired with someone you liked, since the two people on bridge duty didn't have much to do but sit and talk. Fortunately, I could find things to talk about with most of my fellow X-men. Of course Hank, Rogue, Storm and Gambit I got on with the best. Colossus and I never ran out of things to talk about and he'd give me Russian language lessons, which I still enjoyed. Sometimes it was awkward to sit there with Wolverine, given my crush on him and that he was often not in a….pleasant mood. But on his good-mood days, we'd find stuff to talk about or he'd have me practice my karate moves and instruct me.

That day, I served on bridge duty with Angel and, like the moment he'd set foot on board the ship, he was preoccupied with Psylocke. He and I had never had much to say to each other. During our first life with the X-men, my opinion of him was: rich snob. He, in turn, hated the practical jokes I used to play on people and I'm sure he suspected I was gay. He had ripped on gay people more than once in my presence. (Now if he were to do it, I would not sit there quietly as I had before.) Sitting with him on the bridge for so many hours was mind-numbingly boring and I simply played computer games, while checking my monitors every minute or so. He sat staring into space. Every now and then we'd attempt to start up a conversation but eventually we'd just give up.

Our shift was over after dinnertime (one of the crew members brought us our meal), and Hank beeped me soon after. He just wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with him and maybe brush his coat out. I was glad to, especially since I knew I'd get a backrub in return. : ) So off to his room I went.

At first, Hank didn't seem to be in a talkative mood, so I did all the talking for him. I sat on the bed underneath him with one of his big legs draped over me. I brushed out the fur. "I'm still ticked at Nightcrawler," I said. "I know he's entitled to his own opinion. But what the fuck is with this talk of * forgiving* the Friends of Humanity?? After all they did to us? And shit, how many mutants back on earth are they still torturing?"

"Kurt is practicing his Christianity," Hank said. "A fundamental tenet of his religion is forgiveness. He is trying to exercise it the best he can."

"Well, whatever. He can be gentle sometimes, but other times he just borders on self-righteous and it really gets annoying." I paused, then went on. "Well, I guess it sounds bad for me to rag on a nice guy like Kurt. After we had our disagreement on the bridge, he checked in with me a few days later to make sure there were no hard feelings. That was pretty cool of him. He's mature. But I just can't deal with this forgiveness crap. Sometimes I think we are way, way too nice to not be killing them. They sure have no compunction about getting rid of us."

We talked a bit more along those lines. I brushed out Hank's other leg. When he'd been completely groomed and my arms were sore, it was time to switch. I sat on the floor, and he sat on the bed behind me as he rubbed my neck and shoulders. Then Hank surprised me with something out of the blue. "Bobby," he began, "I think I am developing some feelings for Panda."

I digested that for a second. I guess I should have seen that coming, but regardless, I was shocked. Shocked. "Really?" I asked, finally.

"Yes." I could hear the happiness in his voice. "I think she is…incredible. She's compassionate and caring, and so brilliant. She picks up things so quickly. We have discussions for hours on end about science, and about philosophical questions. But in addition to being able to connect on that level, she also has a sense of humor and has….such a fresh perspective on things."

"Wow," was all I could think of to say.

"And I am starting to really feel for her. I---I feel excited when she is in the room. My heart rate increases and I can feel the blood circulating more rapidly through my system."

At that point, I had to smile at Hank's clinical description of what was going on. "Um, a normal person would've just said, `I get butterflies in my stomach' or something, but whatever, Hank." We laughed together. "How does she feel?" I asked.

"That is what I am so excited about! I suspect that she might return my feelings. You see, I do not have much experience with this, as you know. But….her reactions to me are similar to those that Carly had. Some of her mannerisms, such as putting her hand on my shoulder seem to indicate that she enjoys physical contact with me. I have noticed the way she smiles when I enter the room. I am beginning to think that perhaps she does feel the same way."

"Wow, that's really great, Hank!" I said. I didn't know why I was being such a shit. I should have been happy for Hank, but I wasn't. In fact, I wasn't the least bit happy. He didn't seem to notice my reaction, though.

"However, I do worry whether I am too old for her. She's only 22."

"What are you? Say, 35?"

"Thirty-six, by now."

"Well, that is a big gap, but if you both like each other, then I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"`Age is just a state of mind,"" Hank quoted. "And Panda is very, very mature. Oh, Bobby I am so excited over this. In fact, I find myself thinking of her all hours of the day."

"I'm really happy for you," I said, flatly. "So, what are you going to do?"

Hank sighed. "I am unsure of the next step. I have such limited experience with this." His hands ceased rubbing my shoulders. "What would you recommend, Bobby? You've had relationships before."

"Well," I began, trying to think. "Well, can you spend some time alone and then, if the time feels right, ask her if you can kiss her?"  
  
"Would that not be a little forward?"

"I dunno, Hank, it kinda depends on the mood and the moment. But I guess you're right. I'm used to dating men, you know, and men are more direct about this stuff. It's been a long time since I dated a woman." I paused. "Well, what about just telling her how you feel?"

Hank took a breath. "I could do that. But what if I am incorrect and she does not return my feelings? Wouldn't that make our working relationship awkward?"

"It could. But you sound pretty sure she feels the same way, so what do you have to lose? Say, does she have any friends on the ship that you could do reconnaissance with? I know it sounds kinda high-schoolish, but sometimes that can be a good way to find out if someone likes you."

"Yes," Hank said, clearly thinking it over. "But she spends virtually all-day in sick bay with me. I have not really observed her bonding with anyone else."

"Okay, I got it," I said. "Invite her to an after-dinner walk." Taking a walk on this ship usually involved walking around the track in the gym or just walking up and down the halls. There wasn't really anywhere else to go, but at least it was movement. "During the walk, ask her if you can hold her hand. Or if you can put your arm around her."

"What a wonderful idea! Why, thank you, Bobby---I knew you would be of assistance. I will do that tomorrow! Thank you."

I stood up. "My pleasure, Hank." I faced the door. "Well, it's getting late and I'm really tired. I guess I'll turn in tonight. Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"I will. Thank you again."

I walked down the hallway to my room. What the hell is wrong with me that I can't even be happy for my best friend? Several hours passed before I was able to fall asleep.

The following morning, several X-men were training their new recruits in the Danger Room. What Wolverine had said to Bobby earlier continued to hold true. Only Marrow displayed any real promise. Of course, it was to be expected, given that so many of these mutants had survived imprisonment and many had unspectacular powers. And training took time.

As she often did, Marrow asked Rogue or Storm to work with her one-on-one after their group training session. Storm obliged that day, as Rogue had a counseling session to go to. Rogue still disliked this task but this was for a young woman who she didn't mind listening to and who Rogue could tell was making progress.

"You're fantastic, Storm!" Marrow said, gasping for breath after their session. "This is the best training in the world."

"Why, Marrow," Storm began, stretching her legs out, "I think this is the first time I've heard you sound appreciative for the training." The session with Marrow had been intense, and clearly Marrow would make an excellent fighter.

"Yeah, well, what do ya want, me to grovel and kiss your feet?"

"Not at all," Storm said, smiling. She made her way to the bench and sat on it. Marrow was continuing to lift weights and strengthen her upper body, even though their session for the day was over.

"So what's gonna be the plan when we get back to earth?"

"I do not know yet, Marrow. We X-men plan to discuss the specifics when we return to An'zhina and sit with Cyclops and the rest of our teammates."

"Well, like you're the leader so how can you not know?"

Storm smiled tolerantly. "I share leadership with the Professor and Cyclops. And I can assure you, Marrow, that the plan will involve liberating more camps and freeing more mutants. I don't think that is at all in question."

"Okay. What about FOH soldiers?" Marrow clenched her hands into fists. She then punched the palm of one hand. "I wanna smash their faces in! I can't wait to make them bleed, make them beg for mercy as we slowly kill them…."

"Marrow, as I've told you before, killing is not the X-men's way. We do not kill or torture our enemies."

"Really?" Marrow asked. Her voice had an edge to it and Storm noticed something dance across her eyes, as if she was gearing up for a fight.

"Really," Storm said with finality.

"So, ah….the soldiers who were on board this ship. Whatever happened to them?" She didn't even attempt to feign innocence in her voice. Clearly, word traveled around the ship.

`I knew she was going to ask that,' Storm thought to herself. `Honesty at all times,' she reminded herself. "About half of them died in combat, during the battle when we fought for control of the ship."

"Yeah. And the other half?"

Storm sighed. "It is a long story, Marrow. But it sounds to me that you already know what I am going to say."  
  
"The word is that you killed them. And not just killed them, but spent a night making them suffer beforehand."

"We X-men debated for a long time what to do with them," Storm recounted slowly. "At last we agreed that they should be executed, because of the mutants they killed at the mansion and….because of what they did to us on this ship. Most of us supported a…painless death for them. However, there were three members of the team who let their anger get the best of them. One night, they killed all the FOH soldiers."

"They tortured them, didn't they?"

"I don't know. I never inquired about the details." Storm hated to admit it to herself, but she knew she was not the only member of the team who was both glad the soldiers had been executed and that she herself did not have their blood on her hands.

"What did FOH do to make you all so angry? It was more than the mutants back at your mansion that they killed. They raped you too, huh? You and Rogue, and the other women, right?"

Storm resisted the temptation to tell Marrow that she could learn to use a little less candor in her questioning. But she knew she'd answer Marrow. She remembered Shaman's words during the healing ceremony. This was not something to feel shame over, and Storm truly didn't feel shame any longer. "Yes, that's what FOH did to us during the days we were their prisoners."

"Well, can you explain what the difference here is? Cause FOH raped all their female prisoners at the `Mutant Containment Center' I was at, and I'm sure that's what they're doing at all the others too. And they did kill plenty of the others, too. So why is it ok for you X-men to avenge yourselves but not the others?"

Marrow's words rang in Storm's ears. She had known it would only be a matter of time before Marrow pursued this line of reasoning. "I do not have an answer," was the best she could manage. Really, what * was* the difference? "We briefly discussed taking them back to earth and trying to get justice from the legal system, but we knew that would never happen and more than likely, * we* would be punished for the deaths of the FOH soldiers who died in combat with us. So we took justice into our own hands. However, this does not change the fact----if we can rescue mutants from the camps without harming any FOH members, then that is what we will do."

Marrow smiled slightly. She knew she'd flustered Storm and gotten her to seriously question things. "I bet Professor X didn't agree with the killing of the soldiers."

"You are correct."

"Which three X-men were the ones who actually killed the soldiers?"

"My, you ask a lot of questions!" Storm said, coming close to losing her temper.

"Lemme guess. Wolverine, Rogue and Gambit, right?"

Storm smiled. "Yes."

"I think the more FOH soldiers we kill, the better. They deserve to die. And I'm gonna do the Lorena Bobbit maneuver on them." She said the last sentence with particular venom. "Dead men don't rape."

"Marrow, it is unfair to blame all men for what a few of them did."

"I dunno, Storm. Every man is a potential rapist. I hate them for what they did, and for what they are doing to mutants in the other camps."

"I also feel a lot of anger over this, but blaming * all* men for it is wrong. That would be no different than blaming all mutants for the violent acts committed by a few. Or like blaming all white people for the horrors of racism." As she said the words, Storm idly recalled that she had once wondered whether Wolverine had ever committed a rape and if that could explain why he felt so guilty over what had happened. Storm silently chided herself for ever even speculating about that. She now knew with certainty that he'd never do such a thing.

"I could agree with you if it were like a handful of men who did this. But it wasn't, Storm. There were like thousands of men at that training base next to the camp and damnit if I wasn't forced to fuck them all. And there were rumors that some of the men who visited us were like not FOH members, but regular men who just paid the FOH for the chance to come in and do what they wanted to us. I think that rumor was true because I saw men all the time who weren't wearing FOH uniforms."

Storm's stomach churned at that last piece, as if the whole scenario wasn't evil enough already. "Indeed the male half of humanity has done some horrible things to the female half," she said, nodding. "I will not argue with you there. But we must remember that there are plenty of good men as well, men who are our allies. Professor X has been working 18 hours a day, every day, with rape survivors to try to help them." Storm paused. "I do not hate every white person for the racism that has been committed against people of color, even though I feel intense anger at the treatment of my people. Years ago, my people were bought and sold, forced to leave our homeland of Africa, and to live as slaves for whites, where their own children were often taken away from them, sold as property. The cruelty that human beings can inflict upon each other is truly mind-boggling. But we must remember that humanity has its good side as well. Even in the days of slavery, there were whites working to abolish it."

A question popped into Marrow's head when Storm had mentioned her homeland. "I heard that in Africa, they mutilate young girls and cut their clitorises off. Did they do that to you too?"

Storm shook her head, "Okay, Marrow, have you no shame? Is there nothing you will not ask?"

"I wanna know," she stately flatly.

"The answer is no. Fortunately, my people did not practice this gory custom, but some of the neighboring peoples did. I knew one girl who couldn't even walk after the procedure…" Storm's voice trailed off, the appalling memories resurfacing.

"Yet you still spout the party line about humanity being good and blah blah blah."

"We are inherently good. And we will create a community on An'zhina that reflects this goodness."

"Okay," Marrow said. "But I still wanna spill some FOH blood, and I'm gonna."

"This was a great idea, Hank," Panda said. The two were strolling along the corridors of the ship, walking up and down hallways. "It feels good to move, other than running around sick bay."

"Indeed I do miss training as an X-man. I've always loved physical activity." So many thoughts were running through Hank's mind. When should he ask Panda if he could hold her hand? What if he missed the right moment? How he longed to have had experience with this.

"Maybe someday we'll get more medical people and you can go back to training. It's too bad those Endarians are so xenophobic and won't let us take any of their medical personnel with us on our next trip back to earth. We gotta see about taking some of their technology though."

"Yes," Hank said, nodding. Is this the right time? Should he ask now? If only there were some instructions or some text book he could look up the right answer in!

"I bet An'zhina has many beautiful walking trails and areas to explore," Panda said.

"Yes."

Panda craned her head around. "Is something on your mind, Hank? You've seemed kind of preoccupied all day."

"I—uh, well, no," he finally said. He tried to think of an alibi to explain why he appeared preoccupied and why he stumbled over words, but nothing was coming to mind.

"Hey, Hank," Panda began. "Do you want to hold hands?"  


"Yes!" Hank said. "What a wonderful suggestion." How did she know to ask that?? Could she read minds? No, if she had that ability, she would have mentioned it before. Could it mean that…..she did indeed feel the same way?

Panda extended her hand, and Hank took hold of it. The warm furriness felt good in his hand. They continued to walk, but in silence now. The questions continued to course through his mind and he knew not which ones to verbalize. He couldn't think of any "small talk" to make either. Their walking brought them to a dead end, so they did an about-face, and then automatically rejoined hands.

Finally, to Hank's never-ending relief, Panda spoke. "I really like you, Hank."

"I like you too, Jessica. Very much so." This was it----this was his cue, Hank was sure of it now! "I have been developing some feelings for you, Jessica."

"And I, for you," she said, looking at him and smiling.

"You must pardon me if I seem like the proverbial fish out of water. I do not have much experience with this sort of thing," he said, with a slight laugh.

"I have none," Panda said. "I have never had a…a relationship. I mean, a relationship that went beyond friendship. Have you, Hank?"

"No, I have not. However, years ago, there was a woman who I had feelings for. It is a long story though."

"Care to tell me a bit about it? I would love to hear it."

"Of course." Hank went on to tell Panda a bit about Carly, how the two had fallen in love, how the prejudice against mutants had made it impossible for them to be together. "She was a very special woman," he concluded. His tone made it clear that, although he still cared for her, he also had "gotten over" Carly. "We kept in touch for many years, and she has since married. I do not think she has any children yet, though by now perhaps she does. It has been a couple of years now since we've been able to correspond." After a pause, Hank said, "I knew I was starting to have feelings for you when I noticed my reaction to your presence in the room was similar to my reaction when Carly was around."

The two spent the rest of the evening talking, even as they returned to sick bay to check in on a few of their patients. They then retired to a private conference room to talk together some more. They held hands on the table as they continued to talk. They agreed that since they were both novices at relationships, they should take theirs slowly.

Hank then walked Panda back to her room. They paused outside her door. He got the idea to take both her hands to his lips and kiss them. He'd seen Remy do that often enough with Rogue, and Rogue always seemed to like it. Panda smiled at his kiss. She then reached her arms around him for a hug. During their hug, she caressed the fur on the back of his neck.

When the hug ended, Hank was moved to recite poetry. He said:

"The day you touched me

the first lily bloomed,

orange watered silk

cupped on the point

of a tongue"

"Beautiful," Panda said.

"Beautiful as you are," Hank said. "I recited the first stanza of `Daylily' by Elizabeth Seydel Morgan," Hank explained, breathlessly.

"Good night, Hank," Panda said, her eyes shining with joy.

"Goodnight, Jessica," Hank said, his heart pounding. Logically, he knew it was probably too soon to call it love, but….that was what it seemed like he was feeling.

Hank walked back to the corridor where the X-men's rooms were. He tapped on Bobby's door. "Are you there, Bobby? I have to tell you about what happened today!"

Bobby and Hank sat in Bobby's room, as Hank recounted his evening with Panda. Bobby listened, a smile plastered on his face. When Hank was finished, Bobby congratulated him and then told his friend he was tired from his long day. Hank then left Bobby's room still on cloud nine, his head filled with Panda.

The next day, the starship came close enough to An'zhina that the Professor was able to mentally link up with Jean once again. The Professor reported back to the X-men that all was well with Jean, Scott, Jubilee and their children. "Jean tells me that they miss us all very much and that their days are a little boring, but everything is fine. Jean said an Endarian doctor pays her a visit on occasion just to make sure her pregnancy is going along well." He also added, "Jean tells me that they look forward to helping us with the rescued mutants."

The rest of the team was glad to hear that their teammates were well. No one had doubted that they would be safe and sound on An'zhina.

The evening that the Professor had made contact with Jean, scheduled on bridge duty were Gambit and Rogue. They always tried to get Bobby to schedule them together, since it brought to mind all the evenings they had enjoyed sitting together on the bridge, back on the Paradise planet. Back then, they'd had an evocative ocean to look out onto. Now the view from the picture window was that of an ocean of stars, a world of possibility. The couple sat next to each other, holding hands and occasionally eyeing one of the consoles.

"How is de counseling goin', chere?" Gambit asked.

Rogue kept her eyes focussed on the viewscreen, watching the stars go by as the ship continued to warp back to An'zhina. "Same old," Rogue said. She smiled, "I gotta laugh, though. Two of the women I work with regularly told me today how good I am and how much they like talkin' to me. Can you believe it? They have no clue that doin' this kind of thing is a big ole' chore for me."

"You a very caring person, chere. Gambit not surprised dat dey like working with you so much. I bet you don't let on at all dat dis ain't your cup of tea."

"I don't hate it as much as I used to. But I wish I had more time to work on training the new fighters, like I'd prefer."

"You ain't missin' much," Gambit said flatly.

"That's what I hear."

"Gambit t'ink dat Marrow gonna be our only decent new recruit. The others taking forever to learn, and dey jus' ain't all dat powerful."

As he spoke, Gambit fiddled with his keyboard and pulled up a few things on the monitor. "Hey, chere," he said, "did you see dis? We ain't scheduled together on bridge duty again for three days."

"Three days? What was Bobby thinking?" Rogue looked over Gambit's shoulder. "Oh, great he's got me with Warren tomorrow. All Warren ever talks about is how much he misses Betsy and how worried he is for her….and that's when he says anything at all!"

"Gambit's scheduled with Nightcrawler tomorrow. I ain't in the mood for a lecture on how we gotta turn the other cheek and treat FOH with kid-gloves. What drugs was Drake on when he made up dis schedule??"

"Let's call him," Rogue said. "I'm sure he'll change it, if we ask. He likes us."

Rogue took out her communicator and called Bobby. "Bobby here," Bobby muttered.

"Hey, Bobby, it's Rogue and Gambit here," Rogue said sweetly. "Um, would you be a doll and make a few changes on the schedule? You forgot to put Remy and me on bridge duty together….we ain't on together for three days."

"Bobby, my friend, you know dat Rogue and I hate working with Warren," Gambit added, smiling. "What were you thinkin??"

"Um….okay," Bobby said. "I'll change it. I can't do it now, though."

  
Rogue and Gambit looked at each other. Something was wrong. "What's wrong with your voice, sugar?" Rogue asked. "You sound like you got laryngitis or somethin.'"

"It's nothing," Bobby mumbled.

"Are you sure?" Gambit asked. Bobby did not sound at all like himself.

"I'm just PMS-ing," Bobby said. It was now very clear, even through the communicator, that he had been crying.

"Uh….Gambit be no doctor but he don' t'ink dat men, even gay men, get PMS."

"I gotta go. Bye," Bobby said, abruptly turning his communicator off. The conversation was over.

Rogue and Gambit faced each other, each mirroring the other's puzzled look. "What's eatin' him?" Rogue asked.

"Dunno, chere. It sounded like, to Gambit, dat the Iceman was crying."

"Well, no shit. Of course he was crying. What could it be?"

"He sure didn't sound like he wanted to talk," Gambit said. "I don't know what we can do if he not gonna talk to us."

Rogue nodded. "Maybe we should try to talk to him tomorrow. Maybe it's nothing." she said, turning back to face the view of the stars. She tilted her head back and became immersed in memories. "Hey, Remy," Rogue began, thoughtfully. "You remember that time on the Paradise planet when we went on a picnic with Bobby?"

"We went on picnics with him all the time, chere."

"You know which one I mean. We asked him about his past with the X-men, and he really opened up and told us about the time that my foster Momma tried to blackmail him…and he told us how he was so depressed back then that he almost killed himself…"

Gambit nodded. "Chere, you're sayin' dat we better take this seriously," he said quietly.

"I don't know much `bout this kind of thing. But my gut tells me if he was suicidal before, even if it was a long time ago….and he's crying about something now……well, yeah, maybe we better take it real seriously."

"You right, chere. Should we call him again?"

"Maybe we should call the Professor instead."

Rogue used her communicator to reach Charles. He was in the midst of a counseling session but promised to call them back as soon as he was done. After about an hour, the Professor entered the bridge. The couple explained the situation to him.

"It is good of you to be concerned for him and you absolutely did the right thing in calling me," the Professor said. "Years ago, he was suicidal and even though he has not been that way for a long time, it is still something to be concerned about." Charles paused. "I have not been able to mentally `check-in' with him since before our rescue mission on earth, as I have been so preoccupied with the rescued mutants and their mental state." The Professor did not add that he periodically took a reading of all the X-men's mental states. He did it in a non-invasive way and only for the purposes of detecting whether someone was experiencing anything seriously wrong.

"Are you gonna like `check-in' with him now?" Rogue asked.

  
"Yes, I think that would be best. Without reading his mind, I can pick up on his emotional and mental state. This way I can determine whether he is at risk for suicide, without violating his privacy and without uncovering more specific information."

The Professor shut his eyes and began his work. Rogue and Gambit periodically glanced at him and back at their monitors.

After a minute or two, the Professor opened his eyes and spoke. "He is very sad about something," he concluded. "But he is not suicidal, nor I do think he is at immediate risk of seriously contemplating suicide any time soon. I did not probe any deeper than that, as I have ascertained that he is not at any immediate risk."

"So, should we do something?" Gambit asked.

"At this point, I advise you to just talk to him and continue to ask him if he wants to discuss it with you." The Professor paused and then looked at his two students. "Rogue and Gambit, thank you very much for contacting me about this. I am continually impressed with the maturity you both have and how much you two have grown and developed." He looked as if he wanted to say more but stopped himself. Charles actually feared getting too mushy on them right now. He knew he could go on and on about how good it felt to see two students make such progress and how much he cared about them. The lines always tended to get so blurry. The more years he spent with each X-man, the more he viewed each as his own son or daughter. Inappropriate lines for a teacher to cross, but even a man who's emotions were as controlled as the Professor's were couldn't help but to feel this way. His heart truly ached for Jean and Scott and their daughter too...

Rogue and Gambit looked at each other and smiled. "Aww, shucks, Professor, we do try," Rogue said.

The next morning, Charles and Moira had their usual breakfast together, in Moira's room this time. "Betsy finally agreed to work with me," the Professor said.

"That's wonderful, Charles!" Moira exclaimed. "Will you start working with her today?"

"Yes. I hope we can make some progress."

"Warren must be very happy about her decision."

"I need to talk to him, too," Charles said, partly as a reminder to himself. "He needs to understand that healing from a trauma such as this will take time. My powers can only do so much. Betsy herself will be the agent of change, of healing----I will only help her along."

Moira nodded, quietly. She wondered whether this was to be her life for the foreseeable future----working with rescued mutants and helping them recover. Moira had one dream that she had never shared with Charles as she had always been a bit chagrined by it: She and Banshee had both hoped for a peaceful retirement. They had wanted to do what "normal" wealthy people did---retire early, travel, spend time with their children and (hopefully) grandchildren, and enjoy themselves in the last few decades of their lives. She knew Charles would never share that goal and had kept it hidden from him. `It doesn't matter now,' Moira thought to herself. `Our money is gone, Sean is gone, and Kevin is gone. It willna happen.'

After a few moments passed, Moira mused quietly, "I wonder if I will ever see Scotland again."

As Charles spread jam on a slice of toast, he recalled, "When we were in closer range to earth, I scanned the minds of several 'ordinary' people. I wanted to get a sense of how they felt about Mutant Containment Centers, whether the idea of mutants being rounded up gave them pause."

"I can guess what you found," Moira began somberly. "Apathy. No one cares at all. In fact, most people are glad mutants are being rounded up because the crime rate is down."

Charles nodded. "You summed it up well. Apathy was indeed the widespread emotion. Those who weren't apathetic were supportive of FOH. I searched at random, trying to find one person who was disturbed at the thought of the containment centers. I found none."

"The only other non-mutant I knew who opposed the camps was Dr Veena Qadir, my former student. You wouldna believe the harassment she receives from her other colleagues for even mildly supporting mutant rights. She's virtually been blacklisted, like I was. Even my own brother didna care, and his own nephew and brother-in-law were mutants!" Moira took a deep breath, wishing she hadn't brought up Sean and Kevin. "Earth is a mess, Charles. I am sorry to say it, but it is true. And not just because of the mutant question either. I'm sure you remember that mutants were being blamed for everything from global warming to high inflation."

Charles nodded. "I remember. We were the scapegoats."

"Well, those such problems only got worse in the year and a half that you were gone, Charles. Most scientists say that the supply of oil on earth will be used up in 5-10 years----even scientists who scoffed at that before. Most countries are experiencing crisis levels of inflation---that is, those that aren't in a recession. Our air supply is so polluted that even the United States---believe it or not---was considering laws to reduce emissions. I could go on all day with examples. But it is all too late." She slowed down and smiled. "I'm sorry to sound so negative. I always admire you for being so positive."

"You, too, used to be an optimist, Moira," Charles said quietly. He looked down at his plate. If even she had given up hope for earth….

"I am not anymore. Charles, I tell you that earth is a mess and I willna go back." She paused, "But now this An'zhina….I really look forward to seeing it."

"'Mornin', Bobby," Rogue greeted her friend as he entered the gym. It was time for the morning training session. All of the X-men who were scheduled to train that morning were already working away; Bobby was uncharacteristically late.

"Hi," he muttered, barely looking up. Rogue exchanged a look with Colossus, who was standing next to her. Colossus's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Rogue opened her mouth to say something more, but Storm summoned them into the Danger Room to join the group that was already in progress.

During a break, Rogue approached Bobby as he sat on the bench, downing a bottle of water. "Hey, sugar," she began, smiling.

Bobby looked up at her and then looked back down again. "Lemme alone, ok, Rogue?" he said quietly.

Rogue stood, open-mouthed, not knowing what to say next. She turned away, pondering her next move.

"I am not prone to gossip, as you know," Storm began. She was sitting next to Wolverine during their lunch break. Wolverine looked down at his soup and suppressed a grin as Storm continued. "But I must tell you that I saw Hank and Panda walking hand in hand yesterday."

"Yeah, seems he got a thing for her," Wolverine said.

"I want to ask Hank about it as soon as we can have a minute together. He seems so happy….I think that Panda probably returns his feelings," she added, as she speared some more of her salad with a fork.

  
"Sure looks like they were made for each other. Heck, she looks like the female version of him," he said with a smile, "`Cept with different coloring."

"Perhaps it is meant to be." Storm took a sip of her drink and then set the glass back down on the table. She and Wolverine were momentarily distracted by a loud argument taking place between two of the other mutants at a nearby table. They kept an eye on the situation, knowing they might need to intervene if it turned violent. Instead, the two young men were able to work out their dispute on their own and without resorting to a fist-fight.

"I want to go home and get away from all this! I hate being cramped up here with everyone else!" one of the young men had yelled during the argument. Although the quarrel was now over, those particular sentences repeated themselves over and over in Storm's mind. She turned to her companion. "Logan," she began.

Wolverine's ears perked up. `Damn,' he thought to himself. `She's got that tone she gets when she wants to talk about something serious.' "Hm?" he grunted.

"I sometimes wonder how…how you are holding up here. I know that….in the past you often liked to go off by yourself for periods of time. It has been a very long time since you have been able to do that." During their stay on the Paradise planet, Wolverine had occasionally taken off by himself for a day or two. Other than those brief escapes, Wolverine not taken any solo trips since many months before the X-men were kidnapped by the FOH, so long ago. Living on a starship pretty much precluded the possibility for more such excursions.

Wolverine hated to admit it to himself, but he was touched by her concern as he knew it was sincere. He also knew how much he was enjoying her company----all the time, not just in the bedroom. "I'm ok, darlin'", he said, placing a hand over Storm's. "If I ever get the chance, I will take another trip. Don't look too possible anytime soon though."

"Still, I know this must be hard for you, feeling tied down like this."

Wolverine shrugged. "Things could always be worse," was all he said. Storm occasionally did things like this, asked him questions that made him wonder. His desire to separate from the pack was nowhere near as strong as it once had been, though he was loathe to admit it to himself. Not being the most introspective person, Logan left it at that.

Storm smiled as she ate another spoonful of the split pea soup. 'He's accepted that we're his family,' she thought to herself. `If he really wanted to, he could leave us on our next trip to earth. But I do not think that he will leave.'

"Is something wrong, my friend?" Hank asked, as he glanced at the man in the doorway. Gambit had just entered sick bay, which was an unusual occurrence. Hank wondered if his friend was injured or ill.

"Everyt'ing fine here, mon ami," Gambit said. "And my, don't you look happy `bout something," he added with a smile. Gambit looked around the room and saw no one within earshot. "Don't suppose it has something to do with Panda," he said quietly.

Hank smiled, a grin of irrepressible joy. Panda was on the other end of the infirmary, running some samples through the computer. Gambit saw a wondrous, overjoyed look in Hank's eyes that he had never seen before, even during times when Hank had made some scientific breakthrough or the like. "It certainly does," Hank said. "I've been meaning to ask….if we could have a discussion at some point. In private, preferably."

Gambit smiled. "Gambit would love to. And I got somethin' I wanna talk `bout with you, too. How `bout after dinner tonight?"

"I would love that."

They made arrangements to talk in Hank's room. When Gambit turned to leave sick bay, he heard Hank softly humming to himself.

That evening, Gambit saw a side of Hank that he had never seen before. Years ago, when Hank was getting to know Carly, Gambit had been on a short break from the X-men and had not been able to witness first-hand Hank's mood. If he had, he would have seen that this time, Hank was even more delighted. That evening, Hank spoke rapidly and with unbridled enthusiasm.

"You are the expert, Remy," Hank was saying. "Can you provide some recommendations?"

  
For a second, Gambit was stunned. Was Hank going to ask him for tips on making love to a woman? `Well, dis be new,' Gambit thought to himself. `Never thought I'd ever be havin' this kind of talk with Hank McCoy.'

"Should I replicate flowers? Or candy?" Hank went on. "Or are those considered passe? What about a love note, detailing everything that I appreciate about her? And where should I leave these things? In sick bay? In the hall outside her room? But others will see the items if they're left out there in plain sight."

Gambit smiled. "You got good instincts, Hank. Women love dat sorta stuff. Any of that sorta stuff. An' I t'ink dat candy and flowers are not passe at all, dough you gotta ask the Professor if you can replicate dem. Hey, has she ever had a boyfriend before?"

Hank shook his head.

"Den perfect----dese things will be completely new for her. The love letter is a good idea too. Um….candy and flowers you can hand to her. Or what about goin' into her room and leavin' dem inside the room when she not dere?"

"I considered that, but could that not possibly considered an intrusion on her privacy? To enter her room unbeknownst?"

"Well, it not like you goin in dere to snoop around. Jus' leave the flowers and go. I t'ink she'd be touched." He paused. "A love note you can slip under the door." Gambit reflected for a moment on the time shortly after the X-men had freed themselves from the FOH on this ship. He had left Rogue a short note under her door, asking if she had wanted to talk.

"Yes, that is a wonderful idea!"

Gambit bit his lip to keep from grinning at Hank's obvious jubilation. "Dis a whole side of you I never seen before, Hank. `Bout dat love note, dough, don't make it too technical. Like, don't jus' make a list of everythin' you like about her. "

"Of course," Hank said. "I will experiment with creative writing." Silently, he realized he would have to revise the draft of the love note he had begun writing. It read, in part, `I enjoy the way my blood vessels expand, the acceleration of my heart rate, the somewhat pleasant discomfort in my stomach area when I see you. I enjoy admiring the degrees of the curves of your body, and firm and pleasant tactile sensations in my hand when I hold yours.' No doubt about it---the love letter would need lots of revisions. Hank made a note to take another look at his poetry books and attempt more melodic writing.

He then had to ask another question that he'd been mulling over. "Now, at what point can I kiss her?"

"Um, well….dis is kinda a hard thing to jus schedule, you know. You gotta go with your gut on dis one."

"But, Gambit, I don't quite have the…intuition for this sort of situation that you have."

"Dat may be true but I still think you probably have good enough instincts to know when the time be right. And who knows, maybe * she* ask you for a kiss sometime. She don't seem coy or shy to me."

"You are right. Maybe my instincts will be sufficient for navigating this relationship." He paused and took a breath. "Thank you, Gambit."

Gambit smiled. Playing love life advisor was actually quite fun! He then sobered up. "So, Hank, Gambit got a question for you. You know what's eatin' Bobby?"

Hank got a questioning look on his face. "What do you mean, Gambit?"

"Rogue and I talk with Bobby yesterday and he was really upset `bout somethin.' In fact, he was crying. And he looked terrible dis morning during training. But he wouldn't tell us what was wrong."

"My goodness! I had no idea something was bothering him so much." Hank tilted his head back. "I guess the past couple of days I have been preoccupied with Jessica. In fact, between Jessica and the fact that I saw several patients yesterday and performed a minor surgery on one, I didn't converse with Bobby at all yesterday."

"Well, Rogue and I figure you his best friend so maybe you know what's wrong with him."

Hank stood up. "Perhaps it is best if I go talk to him right now. It is getting late and I must ensure that I catch him before he goes to bed. I think he's on bridge duty now and I'm not sure when his shift will be finished." He paused. "Thank you, Remy. For everything."

"My pleasure, mon ami," Gambit said with a smile.

I was sitting on the bridge during my shift, listening to Warren ramble on about Besty. Rogue hadn't wanted this shift, so I replaced her with me on the schedule. Why the hell did I do that? I was getting mighty tired of being Mr. Nice Guy with everyone. Damn lot of good it ever did me. And if I sound like a total shit, then fine----but at least Betsy and Warren had each other, as awful as their lives had been over the past few months.

"Anyway, thank goodness the Professor is working with her. I can scarcely wait to hear how their session went. Maybe she'll start acting like her old self again," Warren said. "Maybe she's feeling better right now." He looked at his watch. "I think their session has probably ended by now."

I gave a monosyllabic answer, as I had been for the past three hours. It didn't seem to matter since Warren wasn't looking for a reply. I continued my game of Tetris, musing that we had to rethink our bridge duty schedule. We were so far from earth, did we really need two people on bridge duty at all times? We hadn't seen an FOH ship for weeks, and we were sure that we weren't leaking ion --- they would not be able to detect us. I vowed to discuss this with the Professor tomorrow.

My communicator beeped. "Bobby, it's Hank," the voice on the other end said.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi. Are you on the bridge right now?"

"Yeah."

"Can I come up there and have a word with you now?"

"Sure."

So Hank entered the bridge a minute later, and greeted both of us. Then he said, "Warren, do you think perhaps you could give Bobby and I some privacy? We would----"

"Sure," he said, leaping up from his chair. "I can go check on Betsy! Take all the time you need." He bounded out of the room faster than Quicksilver.

Hank sat next to me. He reached over and placed a hand on my knee. My arms were crossed over my chest. When I turned my head in his direction, I found he was giving me a very intent look.

"Bobby," he began. "I had no idea that you were upset about something."

"Who says I'm upset?"

"Well, right at this very moment, you are not acting quite like yourself. To be honest, I had not noticed that you were dismayed over something until Gambit approached me."

"Well, I'm like really shocked you hadn't noticed, since you spend all your time with Panda now."

"I detect sarcasm in your tone."

"Well duh!" I swiveled my chair away so my back was to him.

"Bobby," Hank placed a hand on my shoulder, "are you angry with me over something?"

"No."

"Please tell me what is wrong. Is there anything I can do to help? I am your closest friend and I….Are you crying?"

I did have tears in my eyes but I mumbled, "No." Suddenly there were two big and furry arms around my shoulders. The tears came down faster. I knew that this wasn't the first time in the last couple years that I had cried in front of someone else, but I still was embarrassed by it. Crying always brought me back to my adolescent days when I was derided by my schoolmates as a "cry-baby." Later on, of course, it was "fag" and "homo", and then later still the epithets "mutie" and "gene freak" were added.

"What's wrong, Bobby?" Hank asked gently.

I finally managed to blurt out, "I want to wait until I'm finished crying."

"Okay," he said. "Let me look around for some tissues." I think he searched around the bridge for a bit, and then finally procured the tissues from the bathroom that was just down the hall from the bridge.

"Thanks," I said, when he handed me a wad of tissue. I blew my nose and wiped at my eyes. The urge to cry started to subside and I got a hold of myself.

"Can you tell me what is upsetting you?" Hank asked quietly, sitting back down next to me.

"You have no idea, do you?"  


"Well, no, I do not. I care for you deeply, but I cannot read your mind. I do suspect that it has to do with more than the general stress we have been experiencing, attending to all of the rescued mutants."

I nodded. "Am I still your best friend?" I asked. I knew it sounded like something out of angst-ridden adolescence, but I had to ask it.

"Why, of course, you and I---" he stopped himself. "Oh, I see! You are concerned that my relationship with Panda is going to supplant our friendship. Is that it?"

"Yes."

I tried to swivel my chair away from him so I could turn my back to him again, but Hank grabbed onto the bottom of the chair and held it steady. He looked at me. "You are my best friend. Don't ever doubt that."

"But now you're spending all your free time with her. And we hardly * get* any free time anymore, so now I'm never going to get to see you!" I tried to keep my voice from sounding whiny.

"Then Bobby, we will make sure that we spend time together. Perhaps you can have lunch with us in sick bay or even get up early and have breakfast with us," he said with a smile. "I am sure you understand that duty keeps me bound to the infirmary for most of the day. But we could ensure that we spend several evenings together as well. Our friendship will continue. There is no question of that."

"I really want it to," I said.

Hank nodded. "Bobby, please understand….if I have been neglecting you the last few days, it is because I am experiencing something completely….foreign to me, something that is also thrilling and amazing. I have never had a relationship before. Carly and I had feelings for each other, but we could never be together---I knew that from the beginning. But what Panda and I have….I truly feel like I am falling in love and she may be too. We have discussed this. We both want a relationship and feel ready for it. This is all new to me, and it is the most exciting thing I have lived through, ever." He placed particular emphasis on that last sentence, and then added, "Please try to understand that. It does not mean that I value our friendship any less."

I nodded. I knew that I maybe sounded like a selfish jerk, and maybe I was. But I was hurting too. "Hank, if I sound like I'm being totally selfish, I'm sorry. It's just that…" I had to stop since I risked getting weepy again. I got a hold of myself and said, "It's just that I love you more than anyone else in my entire life."

The last few days I had realized that fact. No one in my life had ever compared to Hank. My parents rejected me, and I had never been close to my brothers who were both several years older than I. I had friends in high school and at my various jobs, and I had close friends in the X-men, but none like Hank. And yeah, I had several relationships, but I hadn't loved anyone as much as I loved Hank---not even Michael, who I was with for three years. Hank was the one I could say anything to. He was the one I could spend all hours laughing and joking with. He was the one who loved me just the way I was. He was the one who had saved my life.

"I love you too, Bobby. I always will. A friendship like ours is a precious gift." He reached his arms out to hug me, and I returned the embrace. There's always something so comforting in his bigness and his furriness. Panda was such a lucky woman.

When the hug was over, Hank recited some poetry.

"I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good,

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

Perhaps that is what

Being a friend means,

After all

"The last several stanzas of `Love' by Roy Croft," Hank explained.

I couldn't help but to smile. "Thanks, Hank. It's not every day that someone reads poetry to me." I then paused and my smile evaporated, "You know, though, when some people start relationships, they forget all about their friends," I said.

"I assure you, that will not happen," he said intently. "We can do those things I mentioned earlier, to ensure we spend time together. I'm sure you understand, though, that Panda and I will also want time alone together. But we can still find time together, just you and I. Or, you and I and Panda. I would love for you to really get to know her, Bobby. I think you will like her."

"I'm sure I will," I said. I was feeling better, though I still knew the truth to what I had said a second ago. I'd seen it over and over again---people dropping their friends as soon as they acquire a love interest. And I would try my best to be happy for Hank, but I understood this meant I would be seeing him less, even if we did try to schedule things together.

"She told me something today at lunch, something that I knew I wanted to share with you as soon as she said it," Hank recalled. "When she was in high school, her best friend was a lesbian. I told her I found that an interesting parallel, since my best friend is also gay. This woman was the only person who would be friends with Jessica, as they both were considered such pariahs by their classmates."

I smiled at that. "That's totally cool. We understand about being outcasts."

"Bobby, I truly hope someday you find someone too. I know you've had relationships before, so I guess these feelings are not new for you. But as someone who has never experienced this before, it is such a wonderful feeling for me."

"Well, I'll stop at the nearest gay community center to find someone, ok?" I hadn't meant to sound as bitter as I did, but that's how it came out.

"I know what you are saying, my friend. Our life circumstances do not exactly allow us to meet new people. And many of the people we do encounter are so emotionally damaged. I can imagine how lonely you are, as you have not spent time with another gay man for so long. But still I hope some miracle occurs and you find someone."

"Yeah, then we can double-date!" I said, trying to sound happier. I was sincerely touched by Hank's caring for me. He and I made plans to have lunch in sick bay the following day.

We drew nearer and nearer to An'zhina. I organized lunches and question-and-answer sessions where any of crewmates could ask whatever they wanted about the moon and its surrounding areas. Of course, during the entire voyage they had volleyed questions our way, but as we approached Endaria, it suddenly become real for them. We were bombarded with requests for more detailed information. Besides, many of the women we rescued had not been mentally "with it" enough to inquire in detail about where we were going. Now, thanks to the work of the Professor, Moira, Storm and Rogue, many of the women were kinda ok now, and very curious about An'zhina. So I suggested we set up these meetings.

We didn't have answers to every single question that they lobbed at us, but we did the best we could to answer them. Many were intrigued with the Endarians and wanted to learn all they could. Queen Marina had given us a CD full of information about their culture and history, and we showed that CD numerous times. We also showed them videos and pictures of An'zhina.

The Professor had contacted Jean and the others using his telepathy, and he gave them a heads-up as to some of the requirements the new mutants would need on An'zhina.

I tried to contain my excitement about our return. It had been now 10 weeks since I had seen Jubilee and Aurora, and Scott, Jean and Charlotte. I missed them all. I wanted to hold those chubby babies and play games with them, and I really wanted to gossip with Jubes.

After Hank and I had our talk on the bridge, the last week or so of our journey had been pretty uneventful for me. I did get to know Panda a bit better and what can I say? I can totally see why Hank likes her so much. Though she never finished college (kicked out for being a mutant), she was quite brilliant. She loved to learn, and she also had a sunny disposition in general. Her interest in science was almost as strong as Hank's, and a couple of times during our lunches together, I really had no clue what they were talking about. But I've never cared for science myself.

One morning, Hank woke me up by beeping me on the communicator. He sounded extremely excited and asked if he could come over right then. I said sure. I thought I knew what his news was, and I was right. "Yesterday evening," he began, sounding more agog then I'd ever heard him, "when Panda and I walked back to her room, I asked her if I could kiss her! She said yes!"

I stifled a giggle---this was totally a new side of Hank. I reminded myself that I would just have to get used to this and try to be happy for him. So I told him I was thrilled for him. He went on to describe the kiss in detail, including a retelling of approximately how many seconds it had lasted.

"Wait a sec," I said, "so this was a * dry* kiss?" Hank gave me a quizzical look, and I added, "So like neither of you opened your mouths and you didn't touch each other's tongues?"

"Well, no. Would that not be too forward at this point?"

I just smiled and said that he should go with his instinct, and if he thought it was too soon, then it probably * was* too soon. Gambit and I joked about it later on that day, saying it was going to take Hank forever to get to first base.

At long last, we saw the multi-colored nebulous clouds of Endaria. Queen Marina herself greeted us over subspace radio as our ship slowed down and entered her realm. My heart pounded in my chest as the tiny moon of An'zhina came into view.

As we came even closer into range, Jean, Scott and Jubilee spoke to us over subspace. All of us X-men were crowded around the bridge, and I saw my smiles reflected among my teammates. "We missed you!" Jubilee said.

"We missed you all too," Storm said, speaking for the group. "In just a few minutes, we'll be in An'zhina's atmosphere, and we'll begin beaming people to the surface." We had arranged with Queen Marina to leave our ship in orbit around the moon. It made more sense for people to beam down from the ship rather than to land it on the moon, since landing and taking off were potentially problematic.

"We're standing by and ready to give tours to all the new mutants," Cyclops said. We had discussed beforehand with our rescuees and with the X-men on An'zhina what would happen when we arrived at the moon. Most of the rescued mutants said they would either want a tour or to just be shown to their rooms. So we had arranged this with Cyclops, Jean and Jubilee.

In batches of approximately 20 at a time, we beamed to the surface. I wound up in one of the last groups. When I reached the surface, I looked around and saw orderly chaos.

We had beamed to the area just outside of the living complex. Cyclops, with his daughter strapped to him in a baby carrier, was introducing himself to the mutants and splitting them up into groups. Jean, not yet visibly pregnant, stood next to Cyke. I wanted to get close to them but there were about 200 people in the way right then. Storm was leading those who just wanted to see their rooms to the main complex. Hank and Panda were ushering a group towards the infirmary.

Wolverine had beamed down with the group just before mine, and I glanced at him looking up towards the sky, inhaling. It was a sunny day, the air crisp and cool and very, very clean. I smiled. He obviously was delighting in the outdoors and I had to bet he was planning when he could go off by himself and get naked in the outdoors (and I really liked the thought of that too!)

I spied Jubilee leading another group off. `Aw, heck,' I said to myself, `I got these powers and I'm gonna use them!' I made an ice slide and whipped right over to Jubilee. "Hey, girl!" I said, coming up to her. Several of the mutants she was with shot me surprised looks.

"Bobby!" she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. I embraced her best I could, though Aurora was strapped to her back. I then pulled the baby out of her carrier and gave her a hug and a kiss. "She doesn't know what to make of all this commotion, so she's been crying and stuff," Jubilee told me.

"Yes, but she loves her Uncle Bobby, don't you Rory?" I cooed at her. "Yes! Yes, you do!" Aurora seemed to smile and reached for my fingers. I let her grasp them.

"We have * got* to catch up!" Jubilee said to me. "But we gotta do this stuff first."

So I joined Jubilee as she gave a tour of the area to a large group of our rescuees. It was so cool to see looks of awe and excitement on their faces. I saw An'zhina as if for the first time, through their eyes. After being cooped up on that ship for two and a half months, it truly was paradise. It was better than that….it felt like we were at home.

Chapter 15

Chapter 17 


	17. Chapter 17

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 17

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 17

The X-men and the 208 mutants they had rescued ate dinner together in the spacious dining hall. They sat at numerous long, square tables. As Jean sat eating next to her husband, she sensed a wide array of emotions bouncing around the room. Many of their new comrades were excited and overjoyed to be in An'zhina, loving the beauty of their new home. However, many were homesick for earth, and the family and friends who had been left behind. Many were nervous and anxious at finding themselves in such an incredulous scenario----no matter how much preparation the X-men had given them beforehand and no matter how beautiful their surroundings were, finding oneself living on a moon light years from earth was still a pretty shocking predicament.

Jean was finding herself taking some time to adjust to the change of situation. For 10 weeks, she had been one of only three adults living on the entire moon. As they knew to expect, no Endarians had contacted them other than the brief medical check-ups Jean had experienced. It had been quiet and peaceful, with long days spent reading to and playing with Charlotte and Aurora. Now there were over 200 other people in the dining hall. Eating had been quiet and leisurely, but now she had to lean forward to even hear the person across the table from her. The only loud noise she had been accustomed was the crying of a baby; now she had to raise her voice above the din to be heard.

//This * will* take a little bit of adjustment.// Scott spoke into her mind.

//Yes.// She thought back at him. //I wish there were more hours in a day. I really want to catch back up with Warren, Betsy, and Nightcrawler.// The three Jean mentioned were sitting at the same table with them, but towards the end of the table and several seats down. Jean kept glancing in their direction. Betsy looked calm and even bored, but she also looked indifferent to her surroundings. She ate mechanically and she ate very little. Warren looked more ill-at-east than Jean had ever seen him, though that was not surprising. Both were thinner than ever.

Also at their table were all the other regular X-men, plus Moira, Marrow, and Panda. Hank and Panda were directly across from Jean and Scott, and Jean found herself drawn to Panda easily. Panda was outgoing and friendly, and she easily conversed with them on a number of topics. Jean also noticed the way Hank and Panda looked and smiled at each other. Jean exchanged a knowing look with Scott and silently vowed to try to get Beast alone as soon as possible.

Jean also observed that Wolverine was nowhere in sight, apparently opting to skip the group dinner. She mentally scanned for him and found that he was safe and sound----and in the mood for some peace and quiet. She reassured the other X-men that there was no need to fear for his safety.

When dinner was over, the crowd disbursed. Most of the rescued mutants wanted to explore more of An'zhina, and off they went. "We X-men certainly have much to discuss," the Professor said to the X-men. "It has been a busy day, and I think it will continue to be a busy day. Let's meet tomorrow, mid-morning. We can then discuss a number of different questions." The X-men agreed, and soon disbursed almost as quickly as most of the other mutants had.

"I love it out here!" I said to Jubilee. She and I sat high in the hills overlooking our compound. I had made an ice slide to whip us both up there in no time. Rogue and Gambit had kindly offered to look after Aurora for a bit, saying they missed their niece. So Jubilee and I were alone.

"I missed you so much," she said, putting an arm around me.

"I missed you too, sweetie. And I missed this place too. The fresh air, the open surroundings…it's gorgeous here."

"I guess I'm already starting to take it for granted."

"Really?" I looked around. "You know what stands out for me the most here? The colors. Everything is so bright. The water is such a deep blue, the beaches are bright white, and all the greenery up here is a brighter green than I can remember on earth." I paused, and smiled. "So, tell me what it was like the past couple months. What did I miss, Jubes?"

"Aurora is growing so fast! I gotta show you some of the neat pictures I took. And I want to take more pictures of you and her together."

"Of course!"

"She and Charlotte are playing together quite nicely too."

"They play?"

"Well, yeah, but it's kinda weird how they do it. They pull each other's hair and even bite each other."

"Um….okay…..is this good?"

"It's normal," she said, laughing. "That's how babies their age get to know each other."

"Oh. I get it. They're like exploring the world."

"Yeah. So what else can I tell you about the babies? Rory is already walking, though `toddling' might be a better term for it. And we have to watch them constantly because they're both always putting everything in their mouths. Like, right now it feels weird to be away from her since I can't let her out of my eyesight unless Jean or Scott will look after her. But I warned Rogue and Gambit that they have to watch her constantly and make sure she doesn't choke on anything."

I nodded. "Cool. So what else have you been up to?"

"Um, being really bored," she said it with a laugh but I could tell she definitely wasn't joking. "I mean, it's nice….there really is very little work to be done around the place, so mostly me and Jean and Scott spent all our days playing with the kids and reading to them and such. Marina sent us some toys and things for them. Other than that, we basically have been hanging out on the beach and exploring the hills. I practice my karate still, but it's no fun without you and Wolvie. We've been doing other training exercises too, pretty regularly. But it still got to be boring here."

"I wondered how you'd do with Jean and Scott as the only other two adults. I mean, they're nice and all, but they have such a bond with each other…"

"I know. They tried hard to make sure I didn't feel this way, but I still felt like a third wheel at times. And oh my god! Bobby, I gotta tell you about the funniest thing!" she got a broad grin on her face. "I was so embarrassed, I could've died and I so wished there was someone else here to share it with!"

"What happened?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Well, one day---not too long after you guys took off--- they ask me if I can look after Charlotte for a bit. This was like in the middle of the morning. So I said sure. They go into their room. After a while, Charlotte wanted something from them and I thought I'd better like tap on their door. So I go up to their room, like totally without thinking. The second after I knock on their door, I'm like `Oh shit….I know why they wanted some privacy.' I could've died."

"So what happened next?" I was on the edge of my seat. What can I say? This was good stuff.

"Well, through the door, Jean says---in an all-out-of-breath voice---that they are busy and can it wait a bit? I just was so mortified!"

I cracked up. Jubilee playfully punched my shoulder. "I was so embarrassed, I so wished for someone else to share that with. But it was just me and the two of them."

"Hey, at least you didn't walk in on them! Did Jean ever say anything to you about it?"  


"No, thank god. They emerged from their room later on and kinda acted like nothing happened. Next time they asked me to look after Charlotte for a bit, Jean just gives me this look."

"Oh well. Live and learn."

"That probably was the most exciting thing that happened while I was here, Bobby. I mean it. I love this place, it's nice and tranquil, but it did get to be pretty boring. I missed the rest of the group, especially you and Wolverine. But anyway," she continued, "you've heard enough about what went on here. I want to hear more about what you guys did! During dinner, I was sitting at the end of the table, with Colossus, Angel, and Psylocke. Not the most enthralling group. Betsy and Warren hardly spoke, and Colossus spent half the meal making baby talk at `my little Auror—uchka.'

Jubilee continued, "He did tell me about the battle you guys went through to free the camp though. He said you were pretty heroic, against these two soldiers who were threatening to kill one prisoner."

I smiled, "It was nothing."

"But tell me more, Bobby. I mean, about everything I missed. Tell me your version."

So I spoke with Jubilee, getting her up to speed on what she'd missed. I told her about the facts that had slowly unfolded as we headed back towards earth and how the picture of life on that planet kept getting more and more grim. I tried to put it off, but I got to a point where I had to share with her the day when the Professor had told us he'd linked up with Psylocke. Jubilee told me that Jean had told her what the women at the containment centers were enduring, but she shuddered nonetheless. I gave her a hug. Then, I went on to describe our battle with FOH and then sum up the trip home.

"So, basically, we were all really busy," I said. "We were never bored---well, except when we were on bridge duty, which got to be pretty excruciatingly dull at times. But there was always something that needed to be done."

"How was Wolvie holding up? I gotta imagine he'd be crawling out of his skin, between not getting to rough up any FOH soldiers and then the trip home."  
  
"Yeah, he was his usual charming self," I said, leaving it at that. "Actually, he could've been a lot worse. I wasn't surprised, though, when he took off by himself today."

Jubilee nodded. "So who's this Panda? I saw her sitting next to Hank at dinner and did they ever look like a couple!"

I told her. Her eyes grew wide. "Really?" she asked. "Beast in love? That is so cool! I am so happy for him!"

"I am too," I said, looking down. I don't know why I can't seem to truly be happy for him. Maybe I really am a complete jerk.

I wanted to get my mind off that topic and made a joking reference back to the scenario Jubilee had described of when she nearly walked in on Scott and Jean's lovemaking. She playfully swatted at me for bringing it up but we laughed over it too. "I'm jealous of them," she admitted, taking on a sorrowful tone. "And I'm lonely for a love like that too."

I nodded. "I can relate. I'm totally feeling the---"

Suddenly, we both jumped as we heard Wolverine come up behind us. It was a total surprise---I sure hadn't heard him at all. "You're both losing your touch," he grumbled. "Caught you off-guard."

"Oh, give us a break!" Jubilee said, scrambling to her feet. "We don't have animal senses, like you do. And we're on vacation now for god's sake!"

"You still can't let your guard down."

"Whatever!" Jubilee then stepped towards Wolverine and hugged him, a hug which he not only tolerated but returned. At that point I'd been working in close quarters with Wolverine for long enough that I was pretty good at sensing his moods. He wasn't in one of his greatest ones that evening, though he also wasn't in the dangerously-pissed-off mood either. As I had observed often during the past year and a half, his demeanor brightened considerably whenever he was with Jubilee.

"I missed you at dinner," Jubilee said.

"Had to get away from everyone," Wolverine replied. "Did I miss anything?"

"No," I said, butting in since I didn't want them to ignore me. "We're meeting tomorrow, mid-morning. `We' meaning the X-men."

Wolverine nodded. I knew he detested all the meetings we had but I think he had conceded that this is just how the group makes decisions. "I'll be there. Though far as I can see, there ain't much to discuss. We gotta get back towards earth and bust more mutants out of these camps." As he said that, I noticed him gazing in Jubilee's direction.

"Bobby was telling me a little bit about them," she said, lowering her eyes. "The camps, I mean."

"It ain't pretty. We gotta stop those FOH bastards. We gotta let them know that they can't fuck with us anymore."

I didn't voice my opinion. I agreed with Wolverine, of course, but we X-men would have to be extremely careful on our next trip to earth. FOH had at least 7 other camps, and god only knew how many thousand---or million---soldiers. We had only a handful of X-men were are trained and ready to fight.

"So where's the kid?" Wolverine asked, looking at Jubilee.

"Aurora? Rogue and Gambit are babysitting her." Jubilee was grinning, and in response to Wolverine's questioning look, she said, "I'm so used to you calling * me* `kid.'"

Wolverine returned her smile, however briefly. "If we do get any downtime here, we gotta get you back into your karate training, Jubilee." He looked at me. "You too, Bobby."

"I've been keeping at it on the ship," I said.

"And I practice here almost every day," Jubilee said. "Though with only Scott and Jean and the babies to tell me how well I'm doing."

"Let's get up early tomorrow," Wolverine said. "We can meet in the usual spot and do some practicing then."

"It's a deal, Wolverine!" Jubilee said. The three of us spoke for only a little while longer, before Jubilee noted it was getting late and that she should return to Rory. She held onto me as I made an ice slide for us to fly down the hill on, and back to the complex.

Wolverine, Jubilee, and Bobby weren't the only X-men enjoying the hills that evening. Panda eagerly led the way as she and Beast explored the area. Her acrobatic skills were almost as strong as his, though undeveloped and underutilized. Still, the nimble duo had no trouble navigating around the hills.

"What a great view of the….I wanted to say `city', but I guess it's not officially a city down there," Panda said. She and Hank had reached the summit of the largest hill on An'zhina and were now looking down at the view. They were able to look at the large building, and all the smaller ones that fanned out from it. They could also see the beach off in the distance.

"An'zhina truly is a beautiful place," Hank said, as he and Panda sat down next to each other, settling in some grass.

"Did the Endarians provide some information about the biology of this place? I would like to learn about it….since we've been here, I haven't seen any animal larger than the birds in the sky. Is there any other indigenous life to this moon?"

Hank went on to relay to her some of the information that Marina had provided to the group. The moon did not harbor many life forms, however there were an assortment of small fish who made the waters their home, and a variety of other tiny animals. As the couple spoke, Hank put his arms around Panda and she nestled against his lap. She was a large woman; not many men could encircle her as Hank did. But the two of them fit together perfectly. Inwardly, Hank glowed as he felt her body heat mingling with his own. It felt so comforting, so right to hold her. Even as he felt cozy with her though, his pulse raced as it always did when she was around, and his heart danced.

"This will be a great place for the former prisoners to recover," Panda said thoughtfully. "It is so tranquil here."

"Yes," Hank said, softly. "Perhaps it will help you recover too."

Panda stiffened a bit. "What do you mean?"

Hank regretting saying words that disturbed their mood, but it was a thought that frequented his mind. "You were a prisoner for over three months. I must infer that it was a traumatic experience, even if the guards did not torture you as they did the other women. And even though you are always so…calm on the outside, I still wonder if perhaps you do still need to heal from your experience." One of his hands leisurely caressed her shoulder as he spoke. She reached for his straying hand and held it.

Panda nodded. "Hank, I don't like to dwell on the negative. I really don't want to think about those months. We are together now, and I have never been happier in my life." She looked down and took a breath. For the past couple weeks, she had known that she was going to have to tell him at some point. In that instant, she decided to. "But there is something I should tell you. The guards did torture me. They," her voice broke and she had to force herself to continue, "they raped me. A few times. I mean, it wasn't like they did with all the other women---I wasn't tied to a bed day in and day out. But there were a few times when the guards grabbed me and….forced me."

Hank now felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on him. The cozy spell they had created was gone. In a split second's time, he groped for the right words. "My god," he murmured. "Jessica, I am so sorry."

She craned her face around so she could look at him. "Don't feel sad for me, Hank. Please, don't worry. I'm alright now."

"But…" shock was now being replaced by fury, "…but those bastards," Hank said, though he never used profanity. "I will kill them!" he was stunned at the words falling from his lips and at the depth of rage building up inside him.

Panda shook her head. "What's done is done. It's alright."  
  
"Panda, it is * not* alright! What they did to you cannot be excused and it cannot be trivialized! It is not alright."

"Sweetie, take a deep breath. I mean it. I've never seen you this angry before," Panda said calmly and straightforwardly.

"I have never * been* this angry before," Hank said, realizing the truth of his words. He took the deep breath. He suddenly understood what Gambit and even Cyclops had been through, exactly what they had felt. As he often did now, he once again asked himself what Gambit or Cyclops would do and say. Hank reached for her hand again, and softly asked, "Panda, my love, what can I do to support you?"

Panda felt blush spreading across her cheeks. "You never called me `my love' before," she said, smiling though serious.

Hank realized the truth of her words, as well as the truth of his sentiment. He smiled, blushed, and looked down. "I love you, Panda."

One of her furry hands reached his face and stroked it. "I love you too, McCoy. C'mere, and kiss me." She pulled him towards her and their lips touched. Her hands went around his head, touching the fur on the back of his neck. This time, Panda's lips parted, her mouth opened. She'd never done this before, and neither had Hank. Fleetingly, she feared they would accidentally bite each other's tongues or some other minor tragedy might occur. Somehow, they both knew what to do though. When that kiss ended, they looked into each other's eyes and came together again for another one.

"Mmmm…" Panda murmured, when they were finished. Her arms were around Hank. "You kiss well for someone with no experience."

Hank's eyes were wide as saucers. "Oh my stars and garters! That was amazing." He didn't care if his comment might sound cliched. His head whirled. This was what had inspired so many artists! This was what so many poems, plays and other works of literature were about! No wonder. Many, many years ago, Hank had resigned himself to never experiencing these things. He was too overwhelmed to even recall any poems to recite.

They continued to hold each other, and leisurely caress and kiss as the time passed and the evening grew darker and darker. The sun set in the distance.

Finally, Hank said, "Jessica, I hope you know that I'm here for you and that you can talk to me if you ever need to."

She smiled "I know that. And maybe someday I will want to talk about it." There was no need to elaborate on what they were referring to. "I know you care about me and I appreciate it. But please understand that right now, I just don't want to talk about it. I told you about it…because I just thought you should know. And I've been meaning to tell you for a while."

Hank nodded. "I respect your desire to not discuss it." A disturbing image invaded his mind, and he had to verbalize his thoughts. "But please don't trivialize what happened to you. Because you weren't tied to a bed day in and day out," as he spoke, his stomach churned, "does not make your experience any less traumatic."

"I know. But I'll be alright. I'm strong. But please…let's just not dwell on it. Those kisses we just shared were the best thing I have ever experienced in my life."

"I, too, have never experienced anything as wondrous as your kisses, my love." He was finding how normal and natural it felt to address her as `my love.'

The couple held hands as they descended the hill.

"So….did you do it?"

"Bobby!"

Okay, it was a stupid thing to ask. But I had to know. "Okay, I'm sorry, Hank. I was just curious. I guess I'm just a total shit when it comes to your romance life."

"You are, but I love you anyway." He paused. "And no, we didn't `do it' yet."

Hank and I sat in my room inside the main complex of An'zhina. I sat on the bed, and he sat on the small couch that faced it. It was way past Hank's bedtime. It was past mine too, I was getting cranky, and the green-eyed monster had made its appearance. "Well, I'm glad that you kissed and you told each other that you love each other. This is really cool." I tried to convey enthusiasm in my tone, but I knew I was failing.

Hank went on to say some words about at long last understanding all the love sonnets and paintings and whatnot devoted to romantic love. He tossed out names of dead guys I'd never heard of and such. When he was finished, he looked intently at me. Quietly, he said, "I wish you could be happy for me, Bobby."

"I am! I really am. It's just that….It's just that I really am a complete asshole. I'm a selfish, no-good, son of a bitch. That's what it boils down to," I said, with a definitive nod of the head.

"Must you lapse into that? I thought you had worked through those feelings of self-loathing." He stood up and turned towards the door. "I will not allow you to bring my mood down." I heard intense pain in his voice.

"Hank, wait!" I said, jumping up from the bed. "I'm sorry! I really am!" I got a hold of myself and managed to keep from crying. "I really am sorry if I brought your mood down," I said.

He turned towards me again. "Thank you."

I smiled and put my hands up, "Look, I know I have some selfishness issues to work through. And maybe I still have some self-hatred to deal with too. You once said it yourself that it would take me a long time to fully get over so many years of thinking of myself as dirt, no matter how much therapy I've had. But that doesn't excuse me being a shit. I really am happy for you and Panda, and I think it is cool that you're finally getting to experience all these things. Really," I said. "And I'll try to work through those attitudes I have."

Hank looked more like himself and nodded. He reached for one of my hands and held it. "You will always be my best friend, Bobby. The fact that I love Panda doesn't mean I love you any less. I have enough love to go around, whether it is for my best friend or for the woman I love." He paused. "And I do not want to hear you refer to yourself as `a shit' or anything else like that ever again. I know that you had a brutal upbringing and a lifetime's worth of insults thrown at you during some very formative years. But----"

"I know. I'll go back to saying affirmations, okay?" He and I shared a giggle, since I always made fun of those silly things, no matter how many times both Hank and Dr Winters had suggested I try them.

Earlier that evening, Aurora was sitting up and grabbing at the shiny objects as Rogue dangled the toy above her. The child reached for one and promptly put it in her mouth. "Uh…is it ok for her to do that?" Rogue wondered.

"Well, Jubilee said dat the kid putting everyt'ing in her mouth now," Gambit said. He and Rogue were sitting outside, on the main building's porch. "Gambit don't think she can choke on any of dat stuff."

After some time, Aurora got up and walked or stumbled over to Gambit and onto his lap. He spoke babytalk in French to her. He then reached for a book. The parents had a stash of books ready for the girls, and this one was made of cloth, full of bright pictures. Gambit began to read to Aurora. The baby occasionally reached for the cloth pages and put them in her mouth, making Gambit's task difficult.

Rogue watched Gambit's interaction with the girl. He clearly loved holding and cuddling her. `He wants children,' Rogue thought to herself. `I pretty much do too. But can I have them? Without a collar on, I can kill any living thing I touch. How am I ever gonna carry a baby inside me?' Rogue forced herself to smile and try to put the negative thoughts out of her head. `I'm not gonna worry now. We ain't even married yet. I don't have to worry about this for a while.'

Her stream of thoughts were interrupted when Jubilee returned. "Thanks, you guys!" she said, as she bounded onto the porch. "You're the greatest. It was nice to get a little bit of time off."

"My pleasure, petit'," Gambit said, relinquishing Rory to her mother. "We glad to babysit for you, anytime."

The next day, the X-men gathered in the largest meeting room of the main complex. It was a beautiful room---two sides of the square room had windows from floor to ceiling, allowing a breathtaking view. The room jutted out into some of the foliage that surrounded the compound, almost making them feel as if they were inside the garden itself.

Sitting around the large, circular table were the Professor, Storm, Cyclops, Jean, Beast, Iceman, Rogue, Wolverine, Gambit, Colossus, Jubilee, Nightcrawler, Angel, Psylocke and Moira MacTaggert. Aurora and Charlotte were in the room also, attended to by their parents. The babies pointed, made noises, and crawled or walked about, picking up things and attempting to put them in their mouths. During the meeting, various X-men would pick them up, hold them, or grab a toy and play with them. Moira watched the babies mill about. She gulped back the lump in her throat as she thought of her own "baby" whom she would never see again. She prayed these children would have a better life than Kevin had.

Meanwhile, Panda and the young man named Ramon were on duty in the infirmary should anyone need them. As always, Hank wore a communicator, standing by in case of a medical emergency.

"Good morning, everyone," the Professor said, though breakfast had been many hours ago. The meeting had been scheduled late enough in the morning so that even those who enjoyed sleeping in could attend. "We have all been called together because we have many things to decide upon."

"The most pressing question," Storm began, "is: when will we return to earth?"

"And we need to think of our tactics for when we get there," the Professor said. "FOH is expecting us now. We will need to think through the best way to free as many camps as possible while still managing to evade them."

"I say we head back as soon as possible," Wolverine said. "The mutants in these camps don't have time to wait while we sit on our asses and deliberate."

"I agree with you that we should not dally," Beast said, "but we also must be thoughtful and strategic before we go charging back into space. For all we know, the FOH has created technology to detect our cloak. It is not inconceivable that they could ambush us when we are far enough from Endarian space."

"I agree," Storm said, nodding her head. "It will do the mutants on earth no good if we are captured again and executed."

Jean then added, "I don't think we can settle on when to return to earth until we discuss what to do with the mutants who are going to be left here."

Scott said, "She's right. When we had 5 people living on this moon, it was different. We now are going to be working our way towards a small colony. We need to discuss the governance of this moon."

The X-men went on to talk about the issues raised by Jean and Scott. During the last couple days of the journey to An'zhina, the rescued mutants had been surveyed to determine who wanted to return to earth and who wished to remain in the refuge. At last count, there were 48 who wanted to return to earth so they could be reunited with their loved ones. "It is possible that some of them might change their minds once they get accustomed to An'zhina," Hank added. Most of the other 160 mutants had already declared their desire to remain on An'zhina. A small handful---such as Marrow and Panda---wanted to work with the X-men on their missions.

"It might be wise to wait at least a few days before going back to earth," Cyclops suggested. "I must think that some of those who wanted to go back to earth will change their minds. I believe that we owe it to them---actually, to all the rescued ones---to give them some time to truly decide what they want to do."

"I agree, Scott," the Professor said. "After all, one way of looking at this situation is the fact that we * did* kidnap them. Yes, we rescued them from Friends of Humanity, but we also gave all of them no choice about coming here. That is why I agree that we owe them at the very least 3 or 4 days here to decide what they want to do."

Wolverine, Rogue, and a few others were not overly pleased with this, though they had to concede to the group's wishes. Although he remained focussed on the meeting, the Professor could not help but to glance periodically at Psylocke. He knew they had important matters to decide, but he wished he could somehow be in two places at once. Betsy, and all the others he worked with, needed him. Betsy generally looked down at her hands and played with a stress ball. She did not talk. Charles had noticed that she shrugged away Warren's hand when he offered it to her for holding.

The group's conversation was then directed to the question of governance of the moon. "Many of the mutants who have already expressed a desire to stay here will need counseling," Storm said.

"I would be glad to work with them," Jean offered. "I don't have the counseling experience that the Professor has. But I am a good listener, and I did survive being gang-raped myself. My powers could also come in handy, too." Jean actually looked forward to this assignment and the chance to use her powers for good. During the last few months, she'd hardly had need of her powers at all. She wanted the chance to use them on something important.

"I will also help in whatever way I can," Scott added.

"I assume this means that you two are remaining here?" Storm asked the couple.

"Yes," Scott answered. Charlotte had crawled her way over to her father, and Scott picked her up and held her. "Jean and I did discuss possibly joining the next mission to earth. But the fact remains that we have Charlotte, and another one on the way." Jean was just barely beginning to 'show.' She put her hands on her expanding abdomen. "We can't jeopardize them."

"You are needed here," Storm said. "In fact, it is vital that some X-men remain to provide order for our….colony."

Wolverine looked at Storm as she spoke and agreed with her. In fact, the prospect of being apart from Jean again did not pain him as much as it had before. `She's safe here, her baby is safe here,' he thought to himself. `It's better that way.' There was something else too though, something which he didn't dwell on.

"Is everyone else in this room returning to earth for our next mission, then?" Nightcrawler was asking. "Except Jubilee?"

Jubilee glanced at Bobby and then at Wolverine. "I haven't decided yet," she said, provoking some raised eyebrows. "I have been considering joining you on your next mission. I am going to need to do a lot of thinking and deciding in the next few days. I mean, if your next mission goes as smoothly as this one, then Aurora won't be put at risk. But I know I gotta really think about this." She paused. "If I do stay, I'd, uh, be glad to do whatever counseling I can to anyone who wants it. Though I don't know if I have much to offer other than a shoulder to cry."

"Sometimes that's all they need, sugar," Rogue said. "Someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. And I find it helps `em when they see someone else who lived through it and is doing ok." As she said the words, Gambit reached for her hand and squeezed it.

Moira spoke up. "I, too, havena decided yet. I will base my decision upon Siryn's wishes. If she wants to stay here, I now believe I must stay here with her. The poor girl has already lost so much…" Moira's voice trailed off. She was sitting next to Scott and observing the loving way he held his daughter and played with her. Clearly, Scott was crazy about that girl. Sean had been like that too; he had adored Siryn. Mentally, Moira knew she must cut off that line of thought instantly. "Once she's been here a few days, " she continued, "I will talk with her and see what she wants to do."

Charles nodded as she spoke. An'zhina was so beautiful, it was hard to envision anyone wanting to leave its tranquility and safety for a potentially dangerous life on board a starship. The Professor was forced to entertain the possibility of his days on board the ship becoming much more dull and gray.

Storm sat next to Angel, and turned to him. "What about you, Angel and Psylocke?"

Warren took a breath. "I think we will decide to go with the X-men, back to earth. The Professor has really been helping Betsy, and it's probably best if that is continued." As he spoke, Betsy continued to look down and work the stress ball in her hands. Her condition was a disquieting reminder of what they had all lived through. "And I would certainly like to help the rescue missions in whatever way I can."

"So, possibly, we will have two to four counselors staying on An'zhina to work with the rescued mutants who are here now," Storm said. "Depending on whether Moira and Jubilee stay or go."

"That's not a lot of people to deal with 160 mutants, 80 of whom were pretty severely traumatized," Bobby said.

Jean shrugged, "We'll make do somehow. We don't have much choice. I can ask Queen Marina for help but given how xenophobic her people are…Well, she made it clear I was lucky to get a doctor who's providing prenatal care. I don't know if she'd be willing to supply us with counselors, though it couldn't hurt to ask."

"You are right, Jean," Storm began, "we do not have much choice. And assuming our next mission is successful, we are going to have even more mutants who are almost certain to be similarly traumatized. I think we are going to need to adopt the mindset that taking care of our own people---healing those who have been traumatized----is now part of our mission and purpose. We need to do this to ensure that our people survive." She paused and spread her hands. "Our lives are not going to get any easier during the next few years." For a brief second, Storm wished she were back on the Paradise planet, leisurely spending her days swimming, making love with Wolverine in the forest, and playing cards with Gambit and the others in the rec room as Colossus worked on a painting. She only wished it for a second though. She knew her duty---the mutants on earth had to be taken care of.

The discussion then turned to the governance of An'zhina. Wolverine grew extremely impatient as this topic was not his favorite. He picked up a pen and toyed with it as the discussion wore on. Beast, on the other hand, leaned forward in his seat and spoke often. The group eventually decided to draft up a constitution for An'zhina. The Professor, Hank, Jean, Scott, Storm, and Nightcrawler all volunteered for this task. They knew a constitution would not provide all of the answers, but it would serve as a start for their colony.

Most of the rest of the group then decided that they would work on strategies for their next mission to earth. As Beast had said at the beginning of the meeting, they had to be prepared for the worst and for a strong counter-attack from FOH this time. Charging blindly into space and back to earth would not be wise. Storm, Wolverine, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, and Iceman said they would work together on strategy.

The X-men then agreed to meet as a group the next day. They gradually disbursed. Their already busy days were about to become even more full, and Storm's words about their lives not becoming any easier echoed inside everyone's mind..

As the X-men slowly made their way out of the conference room and onto the day's business, Hank stopped Gambit. "What do you need, mon ami?" the Cajun asked.

"I was wondering whether I might seek your advice once again," Hank said.

"Gambit glad to give advise anytime." He paused, and turned his head towards Wolverine. Wolverine had made it clear he wanted the group who was to work on strategy to meet right away. "'Cept Gambit needed right now. How about after dinner?"

.

It was a busy and long morning. Working on things like planning attacks and trying to anticipate your enemy's next move is not exactly my strong point. I didn't have a whole lot to contribute during that group's discussion and really at times I couldn't even follow what they were saying. I was glad when lunchtime rolled around.

Everyone ate in the large dining hall. I looked around. There were somewhere around 220 people in this dining hall. The room had empty space, but not a whole lot of it. If future rescue missions were successful, we'd need to build more space.

I took a seat next to Jubilee and Aurora. Jubilee was spoon feeding her some mashed up stuff that looked gross. I had to avert my eyes in order to be able to eat my own food. Wolverine soon plopped down on Jubilee's other side.

"So what's this about you plannin' on coming along on our next rescue mission?" Wolverine asked her, getting straight to the point as usual.

"I wouldn't be `coming along' as if I'm a little puppy," Jubilee said indignantly. "I'm an X-man. I want to fight as a member of the team."

"It's dangerous. What about her?" he said, gesturing at Rory. As if on cue, Rory reached into some of her mushy food and picked it up with her fingers. She almost looked ready to throw it at something, but instead settled for letting it dribble down her fingers and onto the table, as she smiled. She then rubbed some of it into her chin.

"Like I said at the meeting, if everything goes well, she'll be fine!" Jubilee insisted.

I spoke up, "Wolverine, if she wants to come with us, why dissuade her?"  
  
"Because it ain't safe, bub," Wolverine said, sounding a tad peeved at me. "Jubilee, think of the risks."

"I would love to have you with us again, Jubes," I said. "I really think you should give it serious thought."

"Oh, I am giving it serious thought," she said. Wolverine was about to say more but our discussion was cut short when Jean entered the dining room, carrying Charlotte. "Sar!" Aurora exclaimed, pointing at the other baby.

"She loves her," Jubilee explained. "Though when they get together, all she does is pull Charlotte's hair and get really obnoxious with her." Aurora made sounds and gestures indicating she wanted to be near her friend, so Jubilee excused herself and brought the baby over to the other one.

Wolverine turned to me. "Why are you trying to talk the kid into coming with us?"

"She's not a kid," I said firmly, while trying to keep the edge out of my tone. "She's an adult now, if you haven't noticed. It's her decision to make. Besides, " I said, trying to sound lighter, "it would be fun if she were around. I care about her a lot and I like spending time with her. I thought you did, too."

"I do," Wolverine said. "If you care `bout someone, then you want what's best for `em. It's best for her to stay here, where she and the baby are safe. You want them to come with us because you like to be around them. You're bein' selfish, bub."

"Really?" I said, not being able to come up with much of a comeback. Guess I'm just a really, really selfish person lately.

"You can't always be with the people you love," he went on. "And I tell you this mission ain't gonna go as smooth as the last one did. We're X-men and things never work out that easily for us. My gut tells me we're in for a real struggle next time we get to earth. Jubilee and Aurora don't need to be part of that."

"Okay. That might be true. But how do you know what's best for Jubilee? Maybe it's best for her to be on our next mission. Maybe she'll save the day on our next mission. You're being way overprotective."

"Yeah? Well, at least I ain't willing to jeopardize the life of someone I say I love, just so I can have `em with me."

I honestly was about to tell him to fuck off, when Storm came over to us and set her tray down where Jubilee's had been. "What is this mess?" she asked, looking at the green goo that Aurora had spilt on the table.

"Excuse me," I muttered, as I got up, taking my tray with me. I scouted around the room for Hank and Panda, but didn't see them. I found an empty seat next to some of the new mutants we'd been training, and I finished my lunch there.

The entire day, all I could think of was my conversation with Jubilee and Wolverine. Well, especially the part with Wolverine. Is that it? Am I just selfish? My two best friends in the world (er…galaxy) are Hank and Jubilee, and I feel like I've lost them both. Yeah, Hank definitely makes an effort to spend time with me every day and I appreciate it, but I know I am no longer his number one. Panda is. And if my life for the next few years is going to consist of jaunts to and from earth to rescue mutants, it means I'm only going to see Jubilee for a week or so at a time every couple months should she choose to remain on An'zhina.

I tried to remember some of the things my therapist used to tell me when I got in a mood like this. At least I still had a good friendship with Rogue and Gambit. And I had a good friendship with Hank and Panda, even if I was starting to feel like a third wheel with all these couples.

For once in his lifetime, Remy LeBeau was completely and utterly tongue tied. He had no idea what to say.

Hank McCoy sat next to him and went on. "As you know, you are the acknowledged expert in this area." The two men were sitting, facing each other at one of the many picnic tables in the back of the main building.

Remy still sat there, stunned at what Hank was asking him. He regained part of his composure. "Why, thank you, Beast," he managed. "It is de truth," he added, boastfully.

Beast had sought out Gambit earlier that day for the purpose of asking him for some tips and advice on the topic of making love to a woman. As a doctor, and one who had delivered two babies, Hank was fully versed in female anatomy. Recently, he had reviewed his text books (along with their diagrams) on the subject. He had also re-read many of the classics that dealt with romantic love. However, the subtleties of the act of lovemaking were another matter. Hank's analytical mind told him that when one does not have the knowledge himself, one should seek out someone who does. Looking at Gambit that evening, however, he could tell that he had flustered the Cajun a bit.

"Well," Gambit began, "Gambit not sure exactly what to say. I usually jus' follow my instincts."

"Certainly you have good instincts because of your vast experience. However, is there any advice you would give to someone without that experience?"

Gambit was now trying to refrain from bursting out laughing. His stomach muscles were getting a workout from holding it in. Never in a million years would he have envisioned that he'd be sitting next to Hank, giving him guidance about sex. Once he knew he would not be breaking out with laughter, he thought seriously about the question. "Well, let me see. Probably best advice I can give you is to go slow." He looked around, ensuring no one was within earshot. "Most women dey like to go pretty slowly, dey like you to take your time." He thought of a metaphor Hank might appreciate. "Say, if you were admiring a Renaissance painting, you wouldn't just glance at it and move on. You'd take your time and really appreciate it. So dat's how most women are about deir bodies."

Hank nodded. "Yes. Yes, that makes sense."

Remy thought of a few more things. "`Course one t'ng Gambit learn is dat everyone woman is different. Some are going to want you to go faster dan others. You can learn what dey like by listening to deir breathing or any sounds she's makin'. Also, you can jus' ask whether she like somethin' or not." He still felt a little funny saying these words to Hank, but he said them anyway. "You could always ask her to guide your hand for you."

Hank nodded. Again, Gambit bit back laughter as his friend was practically sitting on the edge of his seat, hanging on the Cajun's every word.

More thoughts popped into Remy's head. "Gambit will say dat the best advice is to not get too worried `bout it or hung up on it. Jus' do your best and be attentive to her. Tell her dat you love her an how beautiful she is."

Hank then went on to profusely thank Gambit for sharing his wisdom. As Hank got up to leave, another thought came to mind. "Hey, Beast," Gambit began, "jus' one more t'ing."

"Yes, Gambit?" Hank asked, eager for any pearl of wisdom.

"Cut your nails."

Hank had made it clear to Gambit that he and Panda did not have any immediate plans to consummate their love; however, Hank liked to be prepared and knew that it was an event likely to occur in the foreseeable future. He had found Gambit's suggestions extremely helpful.

However, what he truly wished to ask the Cajun, he couldn't. Now that Panda had told Hank that she had been raped, a whole new bevy of questions had been brought up. Should he not initiate any lovemaking and wait for her to do so? What if he said or did something that brought back horrible memories? Hank knew he own common sense could assist him in answering those questions, but he still wished for the experience of Gambit.

Of course, Hank knew he could talk to his dear friends Jean or Storm about this. They would probably offer good insight into this. But he couldn't ask the question because he wanted to respect Panda's privacy---she had not given him permission to tell anyone else that she had been raped. Although Panda had not explicitly instructed him to not tell anyone, he assumed he should keep it a secret---and therefore, he could not bring it up without the other person wondering why. Hank decided he would have to rely on his common sense with this one.

That evening, the Professor, Jean, and Cyclops were lounging around in Jean and Scott's room, with the baby. The small family sat on the sofa, each occasionally sipping a hot beverage. The Professor momentarily had to fight back feelings of guilt. `Shouldn't I be working? Isn't there anything that needs tending to?' Of course there was; at any given moment, a million small crises were calling out to him, or to any of the X-men. However, Moira had taken one look at Charles during dinner and had to order him to do something restful that evening. "No work!" Moira had demanded.

Charles had chuckled at her concern for him, knowing the truth to her words. He desperately did need a few hours to himself. Almost as if they had read his mind, Jean and Scott had then approached him, asking to spend some leisurely time with him. Moira was asked whether she wanted to join them; however Moira and Siryn already had made plans to explore more of An'zhina that evening.

"She has your eyes, Jean" Charles said, holding Charlotte on his lap.

"Doesn't she?" Scott said, agreeing. "The most beautiful eyes you could imagine."

"I also sense great telepathic ability," he said, thoughtfully. "Already at such a young age, she has such a…clear mind. A strong mind."

"We have been wondering about that," Jean said. "I always sense very strongly when she's hungry or when she needs her diaper changed. Scott and I couldn't tell whether it's some sort of parental intuition or whether we do have some sort of psychic link with her, already."

"I think it is a link," the Professor said. "I do not have experience working with one so young, but when I take a glance into her mind, I sense such great potential."

Jean smiled. "It is good to hear your thoughts on this. Actually, it is great to hear the thoughts and opinion of someone else. So often during the last several months, I find myself wishing for my mother. I know she would have good advice on so many things."

"There's only so much we can learn from all the books and articles we read," Scott said.

"I wish I had been able to send that photograph to your family," the Professor said, reflectively. Jean's mention of her mother caused the thought to spring up in his mind. "During our rescue mission, we did not have a moment to stop anywhere else. Two FOH ships were chasing us."

"From what I've heard from you and everyone else," Scott said, somberly, "it sounds as though you barely escaped."

The Professor took a deep breath. "As I recall, it was close. If we had not been so organized and well-trained, we would have had problems." As he said the words, Charlotte crawled from his lap onto her father's. Scott scooped up his daughter and planted a kiss onto her forehead.

"This next mission will be hard," Jean said. "As everyone has pointed out already, they will be expecting you again. And I---" Jean stopped herself. "I, uh, sense that you don't want to talk about this topic right now."

The Professor smiled. "I must admit that I could use a diversion from more serious matters."

"Then that's what we'll have. No more talk about serious things."

The three spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing together. When Charles left for his own room, he thought to himself how much he loved them and how proud of them he was.

The next day, we X-men all gathered in the same big meeting room again for another meeting. I glanced around the table. Psylocke really didn't look much better than she had the previous day. Hank was practically glowing. That morning (actually, late the previous night) I had left a little note under his door telling him how I happy I was for him and Panda. He'd seen me in the morning on the way to sick bay and had told me how much he appreciated that.

I didn't pay as much attention during the meeting as I should have. I don't know how good of an idea the architect who designed this room had. The two floor-to-ceiling picture windows are nice, but it was a gorgeous day outside, and I could think only about getting outdoors and swimming. I think the entire trip to earth and back, I'd only had a chance to swim three times, two of which were part of our training. Of course the pool on board the ship was nothing compared to swimming in the waters of An'zhina.

Aurora crawled over to me, and I spent the balance of the meeting playing with her.

Hey, one cool thing happened during the meeting. I dunno how we got on this subject since I wasn't paying attention, but suddenly we were talking about the name of our ship. A long time ago, we'd looked it up and found it was called the Defender. None of us had been crazy about the name. Jubilee was saying that the vessel sorely needed a proper name, and she suggested "Freedom." Everyone loved it. So, from now on, we called the ship Freedom. It was neat to finally have a name for the thing, after almost two years now of calling it "the ship."

Storm gave an update regarding strategy. I tried to make myself pay attention since I was scheduled to meet with the strategy group later that day. I don't remember much of what she said, though she did mention that we needed to brainstorm on a way to change public opinion back on earth. Silently, I wished her good luck. Someone did point out that we need to really focus on rescuing mutants from FOH first and foremost. She agreed, but also countered that if we could somehow discredit the FOH, that would help solve the problem. Hank agreed, making some sort of metaphor of us attacking the symptoms, not the cause. They had a good point, as impossible as that goal seemed. No one had any ideas on how to turn the tide against FOH though. Maybe if a videotape of what went on in the camps was made public….but how the heck would we do that?

That whole day I wasn't exactly the best Bobby I can be. I didn't pay attention during the group meeting, or later during the strategy meeting. During a late afternoon training session, I didn't exactly give it my all.

You know what I was really thinking about during the meeting? `Damn, I want a boyfriend!' That's where my mind was. Actually, that was only part of it. I was truly thinking about how much I wanted to have sex again. My eyes kept wandering to all the hot guys in the room. Wolverine, of course, was the hottest even though I was totally pissed at him then. But damn I would've loved to have been Storm for a night. The two of them were still going at it, and going at it fairly frequently. All the times I've seen Wolvie shirtless, I've practically drooled at the sight of his arms, his shoulders, his abs, his back. Yum. I wished I could see the rest. And I had to imagine that he could be real take-charge in bed.

And Gambit too. I feel a little funny thinking this about him since he is a friend, but he is really hot too. Not as much my fantasy-type as Wolverine is, but he does have such a sexy way about him. And his physique---what I've seen of it---is almost as hot as Wolvie, though he lacks the chest hair. But he's still totally sexy. I envisioned he'd be romantic and seductive and a very thorough lover.

It's too bad I wasn't a shapeshifter, because then I could turn myself into one of those guy's lovers.

My thoughts didn't just stay on those two, either. Cyke is very handsome. Not really my type, but very handsome. I imagined he was probably pretty good in bed, at least he would be with Jean since he loved her so much. I thought it would be fun to try to seduce someone as uptight as Cyke and got some fun images in my mind. Warren is not my favorite person and I never thought he was particularly attractive before, but that day he looked damn fine to me. Ditto for Colossus. It would be kind of fun to do it with such a big guy, I mused. He wouldn't be as good with his hands as Gambit would be, but he'd still be fun. Maybe he would be take-charge like Wolvie. Kurt started looking good to me too. I mean, his looks are unusual, but the more I looked, the more beauty I saw. I had a hard time guessing what he'd be like in bed though. Who knows? Has he ever even done it, I wondered. Maybe he has. He looks weird, but really he's cute in a way.

The only other men in the room were the Professor and Hank. Well, I wasn't going to fantasize about the Professor since it would be a bit like having sex with your father. Or with God. And Hank? I love the guy, but we've been best friends for too long for me to even fantasize about. He is cute and cuddly though. I've always thought that. Maybe it would be like making it with a giant teddy bear.

I also fantasized about what sort of different positions I'd like to be in with each guy. I played out some elaborate scenarios in my head.

I wondered if I should have stayed in San Francisco. I mean, my life would have had no purpose, but at least I could've had sex there. I suppose I don't need to add that not one of the male mutants we rescued was gay. Although, with the FOH take-over I guess staying in San Fran wouldn't have helped; I'd probably be in a concentration camp. And I'd probably be dead---you've got to imagine any gay male mutants are going to be killed by FOH (which might explain why there weren't any among those we rescued.) And probably the X-men would be all dead too since I wouldn't have been able to rescue them on board the ship that time.

So that is basically what I thought about during the entire meeting. As I was walking out, I passed by the Professor and Jean. I got a thought in my head and my blood froze. I just had to hope that both of them had not been testing their mind-reading abilities that day.

After the meeting, Jubilee grabbed me. She asked me why I had looked "kinda out of it." She and I then went off somewhere we could talk in private, and we bonded over our "Wolvie-lust."

That evening, Rogue held Gambit in her arms and flew him to the top of the highest hill on An'zhina. Gambit held a picnic basket, which contained their dinner. Finding a comfortable patch of grass, the couple spread their dinner out onto a blanket.

"I'm so tired," Rogue groaned, as she flopped down onto her back. "I can't sit up."

"Do you want Gambit to feed you?" Gambit asked, with that special tone in his voice.

"Charmer," she muttered, picking up a cloth napkin and lobbing it at him. "Sugar, there just ain't enough hours in a day. Between training and trying to come up with an attack plan against FOH and playing therapist, I can't do it all!"

"But look 'round you, chere. Gambit jus' glad we here on dis moon instead of dat ship. I mean `Freedom,'" he said, using the name the group had dubbed their starship. "If we gonna be busy, at leas' we can be busy in dis beautiful place."

"It don't matter much when you spend all day cooped up inside the main building," Rogue grumbled.

"At leas' we makin' a difference. We helped all dose mutants we rescued, and we gonna go back and get more."

Gambit started to dig into the food, periodically asking Rogue if she wanted anything. She rolled over towards him, and rested her head in his lap. "I guess you're right, Remy," Rogue said. "We are making a difference. And it is beautiful here. Things could always be worse."

"You notice dat Bobby seem to be doin' better?" Gambit asked.

"Yeah. He musta worked out whatever was bothering him. He seems okay, though at the meeting today he seemed kinda out of it too."

"Gambit tink he jus' bored."

"Can't say I blame him. I wish we had fewer meetings and spent more of our time kicking FOH ass."

They continued to talk and eat at a very leisurely pace. Gambit periodically stroked Rogue's hair, being careful to keep his fingers away from her face as he wore no gloves. The sun went down and the light began to dim. Eventually, Rogue was coaxed into a sitting up position. Gambit leaned back against a tree, and Rogue curled up in his lap, facing the same direction as he. Remy placed his arms around her. Rogue's fatigue evaporated and she started to feel very sensual. Feeling Gambit warm against her back brought back some enticing memories since they often made love in a similar position.

"I love you, chere," Gambit said, quietly.

"I love you too, Remy."

"Gambit has somethin' to give to you."

A chill went down Rogue's spine. She detected an inflection in Gambit's voice that was completely new to her, one that suggested something mind-blowing. "Y--you do?" she asked tentatively.

She felt Gambit reach for her gloved hand and hold it. It was her left hand. She then felt him slip something around one of her fingers. The ring finger.

Rogue pulled her trembling hand away and looked at it. A diamond ring had been placed on her ring finger. Rogue could only stare in awe, shocking pumping through her system. Her mouth fell open. She turned around and faced Gambit.

"Remy?" was all she could manage, mystified.

"I love you, chere. I want to spend de rest of my life with you. Say you'll marry me."

A few seconds went by. And then a few more. Gambit began to sweat.

Rogue could only stare at the ring, her mouth still wide open. She had never been more astonished in her life. She had not at all seen this coming. And, despite how happy she and Gambit had been, she never ever conceived that she could ever be married.

"Where in the galaxy did you get this ring?" Rogue asked. The instant the words fell out of her mouth, she regretted them. She wasn't even sure why she asked them, but her brain was completely frozen.

"Gambit has his ways," Remy answered. "He use' to be a thief, remember?" This was not exactly going as he had planned. He had known that his proposal would surprise her, but he thought it would be a pleasant surprise. However Rogue just looked stunned beyond belief. Now * he* was surprised, and bitter disappointment coursed through his veins.

"I---I don't know what to say," Rogue finally managed, after more long seconds had passed. She kept looking at the bright, sparkling ring. She had never imagined that anyone would ever give her something like this. "I never dreamed I'd ever be gettin' married. I just can't believe this."

"We love each other, chere. We know we will always be together." He reached for her hand and held it, intently looking at her face. "Les' make it official and get married."

Too many thoughts swirled around Rogue's head; she still had no idea what to say or what to think. "I do love you, Swamp Rat," she said, collecting her thoughts. "You know that."

Gambit's face fell. "But…." he began for her, knowing what was coming.

"But…how can you really want to marry me? I mean, ain't a couple supposta kiss when they get engaged? We can't even kiss now cause I didn't bring one of the damn collars!"

"Den we kiss when we get back to our room! What does it matter? You know dat Gambit loves you, an' I accept dat you can't touch me without that collar. Dat's ok."

"But what if we run out of collars someday?"

"We got 100 collars on dat ship, plus the 208 more dat we got with our last rescue mission! Hank says each one is good for `bout 10 years of active use. How long you t'ink you gonna live, chere??" He looked at her face and saw her smile at that last remark. He then shut his eyes for a second before looking back into her beautiful eyes. "Even if someday we do run out of collars, Gambit still love you and still want to be married to you. I love you the way you are. Do you really doubt that?" His voice conveyed passion tinged with a hint of anguish.

"No! No, I don't doubt it one bit." She reached with one of her gloved hands and touched it against his cheek. "I know that you accept me….even though I'm a defect."

"You ain't no defect, chere. You a priceless, precious jewel." He reached for her hand and kissed it. "I love you more den I loved anyone in my life."

Rogue was silent for a second. Her emotions were returning to normal and she was able to think once again. "But can we get married now? I mean, look at our lives. We might spend the rest of our lives running rescue missions to earth. We're gonna be in a lot of danger. We might never----"

"Rogue, you know dat we never gonna have normal lives. We be mutants, and X-men on top o' dat. We never were gonna have any kind of normal life, probably not even when we old and gray." He paused and took a breath. "But look at Scott and Jean. Dey talked `bout having kids for years and years, and always put it off till their lives got `normal.' Dey finally realized dere * is* no normal, not for us, not for mutants." He smiled. "Dey happy with their decision to go ahead and have kids. Ask `em. We be happy too, married."

"We might not ever be able to have children," Rogue said. Even as she thought of such excuses, her mind was working towards an answer to his proposal.

"If we can have children, den great. If not, we adopt. What's the problem? And we don't need to worry `bout dat right now anyway."

Rogue threw her arms around Gambit's chest and began to sob, her face muffled against his shoulder. "Yes," she sobbed. "Yes, yes, I will marry you, you crazy Swamp Rat!"

Gambit threw his head back and sighed with pleasure. "Oh chere! We make each other so happy. Gambit was afraid for a second dere dat you were gonna say no."

Rogue tried to think of a witty comeback, but failed as the tears came harder and harder. She clung to Gambit, her heart pounding.

Chapter 16

Chapter 18 


	18. Chapter 18

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 18

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 18

Everyone had a pretty busy evening, as always. At any given time, we X-men were conducting training sessions, conducting counseling sessions, leading groups of mutants in sports or other activities, drafting constitutions, etc. I had been in the main recreation room, taking a breather and playing with Charlotte. Cyclops was nearby, playing a group board game with about 20 of the rescued mutants. I was finding myself too exhausted in the evenings to keep up with an active, inquisitive 9 month old. I wanted to lay down on the couch, but she was crawling everywhere and picking up anything she could. I had to keep close watch on her, as I said I would so Cyke and Jean could attend to other matters for a while.

Our quiet was interrupted when Jubilee bounded into the rec room. "Everyone, come here! Rogue and Gambit got engaged!"

So pandemonium kind of broke out. All the X-men and a good number of those we had rescued were flying and running into the main entranceway, where the happy couple had barely been allowed to step foot inside. Rogue and Gambit were mobbed. Both of them were just beaming with joy.

I was a bit surprised as I hadn't had any notion that Gambit was thinking of proposing. (Assuming at the time, as I later found was correct, that * he* had proposed and not she.) They both looked very emotional. Rogue looked thrilled, but also awed and overwhelmed.

We all went up to them, hugged them, and congratulated them. When I got to them, Gambit gave me a good squeeze. I hugged Rogue and kissed both her hands. In the background, someone put on music, and drinks began to be passed around in celebration.

"Have you set a date for the wedding?" Jean asked.

"Not yet," Rogue said. "We haven't worked out all the details yet."

"We t'ink maybe sometime within a year," Gambit added.

Someone proposed that, since the couple wasn't going to be getting married anytime within the immediate future, they have an engagement party here before the X-men returned to earth. Rogue and Gambit said they liked the idea and would work on it.

So that was it. I was really happy for them. It was obvious they were totally in love.

When Panda returned to her room that evening, she found a note slipped under the door. It read:

"She walks in beauty like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meets in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies"

----Lord Byron

And then, a little ways down the page:

Your beauty is without compare. I love you.

Hank

"What are you doing up at this hour?" Storm asked Rogue the next morning. Storm had risen at the crack of dawn, as she occasionally did, and was out for a morning walk. Rogue had been flying overhead when she spotted her friend, and fell in step next to her.

"Couldn't sleep," Rogue said, speaking a bit more rapidly than usual. "Didn't sleep a wink last night at all." She was not normally awake so early, but found herself enjoying the early morning on An'zhina. The air was crisp and sweet-smelling, the distant sun rose in the background creating a pinkish haze in the distance. A few birds could be spotted flying off in the distance. Storm had attempted earlier to get a better look at the birds by flying up closer to them, but unsurprisingly they fled in terror when she came near.

"Well, it is not every day that one becomes engaged. I do not blame you."

"I kept tossing and turning, think I drove Remy nuts!" 

"How do you feel, Rogue?"

"I feel amazing!! Oh Storm. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be married. I grew up dreaming about it, dreaming of wearing the white dress and walking down the aisle. I think every girl wants that. But then…you know the rest. I found out I was a mutant, found out I couldn't touch anyone."

"And look at you now," Storm said, beaming with sincere joy at her friend's happiness.

Rogue just laughed, spread her arms wide and spun around. "I feel so happy, I could dance! I love Remy. And now we're going to be together forever!" She then resumed walking next to Storm. "You know, actually I lied when I said I didn't sleep at all last night. I must've, because I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting in the back of a church, crying because Gambit was getting married to someone else. I don't know who she was, but she was someone he could touch. And I just cried and cried. I woke up feeling heartsick, until I looked at the man sleeping next to me and realized that ** I** was the one he was gonna be marryin'!" Rogue grabbed Storm's arm and exclaimed, "I'm really getting married!"

Storm's wide smile turned into a laugh. "I'm happy for you, Rogue. I'm glad you took a chance on acting on your feelings for Gambit."

"I can't believe I ever doubted doing that!" Rogue shook her head. "I used to have similar nightmares like that all the time. I'd dream that Remy went off and left me for someone else. Or I'd dream that I touched him and killed him. But I don't think I'm gonna be havin' any more bad dreams like that---not now!"

"From what you and Remy said yesterday, it sounded as if you have not set a date for the wedding?"

"Nah, not yet. We talked about it. We decided to wait a bit. We think maybe within a year or so. We can work on the details when we get closer to the date. We know it won't be anythin' too big and elaborate, at least not by earth standards. Things are different here. But we'll do what we can."

"I am sure it will be beautiful and a success."

"I'll ask you to be a bridesmaid, of course. You and I were bridesmaids when Jean got married. I'll ask her and Jubilee, too. I dunno if I need a maid of honor, though. What do you think?"

"It's up to you, Rogue," Storm said, with a smile. "It's your wedding."

"Too bad Rory and Charlotte won't be old enough to be flower girls in a year's time. Now I know I want the Professor to give me away and….oh, you know! Remy and I are gonna have to figure out who is going to perform the wedding!"

"I am sure you will figure something out. But if you have a year's time to plan it out, I would not get hung up on any of the details yet."

"You're right Storm. You're always right," she said, affectionately as she reached to give her friend's arm a little squeeze. "Listen to me ramble on here. How are you? Hey, how are things with Wolverine?"

"Steady as usual. We're enjoying each other's companionship."

Rogue was not the most skilled person when it came to reading facial expressions. However, in the past few months, she had learned a bit more about doing so. "Is everything….really ok?"

Storm nodded. "I guess so." She sighed. "Sometimes I wish for more from our relationship. But I do not think he can get past his feelings for Jean."

Rogue looked down. Here she had blabbed on and on about how wonderful things were with Remy….but she could never really believe that Storm might be hurting. Storm always seemed so invincible. "So….do you mean like you might love him or something?"

Storm shrugged. "I love him as a dear friend and comrade. I respect him very much. But I will not let myself feel any more for him," she said, resolutely. Could the mind of one as controlled as Storm dictate the workings of her heart? Rogue wondered. "What would be the point," Storm continued, "when he cannot get over Jean?"

Rogue nodded gravely. "I guess he does love her. Always has. Which is funny, since he's always known she's with Scott and I don't think she'd ever leave Scott, not in a million years."

"I know," Storm said.

"He did make those nice sculptures of you," Rogue offered, referencing the work done by Logan on the Paradise planet.

"He likes to work with his hands. And he is very good with his hands."

"And other body parts," Rogue added, a playful look in her eyes. "So you tell us."

Storm smiled. "That is the truth." She added, "When Logan and I first got together, we did agree that if one of us should find someone else, we are free to pursue it. He and I are not a couple in the way you and Remy are."

"I know. So, are you interested in any of the guys we rescued?"

"Not particularly. And I do not detect that any of them are terribly interested in me. You see, Rogue, many men are intimidated by a strong woman such as I. They tend to pass me over as a potential romantic interest." She spoke without anger or resentment; she merely said the words as fact.

"Uh-huh," Rogue said, agreeing. "Too bad about Logan not getting over Jean though. Do ya….do ya ever think that if he weren't pining away over her, the two of you could….?"

Storm didn't meet Rogue's gaze and instead shrugged. "No use speculating. It will never happen."

The next morning, we X-men had another meeting. We really buckled down and discussed our future at this meeting. We had a lot to talk about, too. I paid better attention during this one. : )

Right off the bat, Wolverine brought up the question of when we'd be returning to earth. "We've been sittin' on our butts for too long, while mutants back on earth are suffering. It's time we got our shit together an' headed back for earth."

I was pissed at him. I spoke up and said, "This is only the start of our **third** full day here! It's not like we've been sitting around laying on the beach every day for a month. We've spent practically every waking minute helping the new mutants in one way or another!"

Wolverine and I exchanged a look. Needless to say, it was not a friendly one. I knew I wasn't his favorite person at that time and I really didn't care either---he hadn't been my favorite person lately either. He may be totally hot but he can also be a jerk at times.

The group kicked this topic around a bit. A few said there was no harm in taking a few days to rest here----indeed, it would probably be beneficial for us. But most felt bad for the mutants back on earth and wanted to get home soon.

Cyclops then spoke up, "Two days ago, we decided to return to earth when we had mapped out a better plan for dealing with FOH. We should let that be the judge of when to head back."

"How is that going?" Jubilee asked.

Storm then went on to answer her question. She said she felt we were about ready to return, since all we could do at this point was speculate at FOH's response to us. "The journey to earth takes 5 weeks, and we will have plenty of time to do more planning then," she said. She said the team thought it unlikely they would suddenly be able to detect our cloak. She also said that we knew the FOH would likely all be wearing gas masks next time we reached their camp, and we would need to find ways to disable thousands of soldiers while not endangering any prisoners.

"One possible strategy we came up with," Cyke was saying, "was to kidnap a high-ranking FOH officer and demand the release of mutants in exchange." He went on to say that that might be more feasible than finding a way to knock out thousands of guards without harming anyone. "It would require more precision than the previous method."

So, after much discussion, everyone was cool with returning to earth in a few days and using the weeks of the journey to really think over a strategy. I was kind of sad that we wouldn't be getting much of a vacation at all before our trip back, but I wasn't surprised. I knew it was selfish to want time to relax when everyone else on earth was suffering so much.

Jean looked around the room. "Do we know who is returning to earth now?"

Moira said, "We spent much of yesterday asking the rescued mutants about this. Fewer now want to return to earth----only 36 said they did. There are 6 who are going to serve with us---such as helping out in sick bay or on bridge duty. Everyone else wishes to stay here."

Nightcrawler went on to say that dealing with the 36 who want to return to earth could get tricky. Many of them actually didn't want to return to earth **permanently**; they wanted instead for us to beam aboard some of their loved ones and then take them all back to An'zhina. Depending on how things went….that may or may not be possible. He pointed out that it was a bit of a moral dilemma---after all, we did * kidnap* them. We resolved, after much discussion, to do our best to accommodate those----though they would also have to understand we might not be able to.

I could kinda see both sides. We didn't give them a choice about coming with us. But on the other hand we saved them from FOH. I sure wasn't really crazy about the fact that only 6 of them wanted to serve with us. I know, I know. They survived months of imprisonment and, in some cases, torture. I should cut them some slack.

Interestingly, most of the women we rescued wanted to remain on An'zhina. Panda, Marrow, and a woman named Elena were among the 6 that would be the new "adjunct" X-men, and only about 7 or 8 of those who wanted to return to earth were female. Well, after what they went through, it makes sense.

"What about you, Jubilee? Have you made your decision about whether or not to go on this mission?" the Professor asked.

I stifled a giggle, thinking that if he were psychic, shouldn't he know? Jubilee said that she had not yet decided but understood if we were to leave in only a few days, she would need to decide soon.

"I hae good news," Moira piped up, in that delightful accent of hers. "I spoke with Siryn. She says that she would like to stay here….but she was adamant that I accompany you, if that is what I wanted to do. I do want to accompany you back to earth; I strongly want to. She and I had a long discussion, I asked her a thousand times if she wouldna prefer I stay with her here. She insisted I go with you, if that is what I wanted to do. So I will be joining you on the trip back to earth."

That was cool, I thought. I figured the Professor had to be happy, though he didn't show it on his face. I'm sure Moira is his only "real" friend, since that whole teacher-student relationship is different.

So it looked like on our trip back, we'd have the Professor, Storm, Beast, Rogue, Wolverine, Gambit, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Angel, Psylocke, Moira, Panda, Marrow, me, a handful of others who would help us, 36 people who wanted to go back to earth (or get loved ones and return with us), and possibly Jubilee. I really hoped Jubes would decide to go with us. (And I gotta stop calling her "Jubes"; she hates that.)

So Cyclops and Jean (and maybe Jubilee) would be "holding down the fort" here. They talked a bit about what that would be like. There were 166 rescued mutants who'd then be living on the moon, many of whom needed regular counseling. "We have our work cut out for us," Jean said. She was smiling, though I had to guess how she felt. Just the two or three of them and 166 rescuees?? She and Cyke would never again have to worry about boredom---they would be swamped beyond belief. Not to mention that they also had a baby to raise and another on the way. Cyclops made a comment about this possibly being as difficult as any mission

Storm, Moira and the Professor spoke a bit about the healing that the mutants remaining on An'zhina would need. "I have been leading some of them in group healing ceremonies and I find that helps," Storm said. The Professor talked a bit about using his powers to help them. Jean and Scott said they'd get with Storm, Moira, and the Professor in private before they left to talk more about what they could do.

So what else should I write about? Oh, there was one pretty interesting part. The Professor, Hank, Jean, Scott, Storm, and Nightcrawler had all been working on a constitution for An'zhina. "It is only a beginning," the Professor said, smiling. "Of course we're all perfectionists and we wanted to create something completely faultless, but we realized that in such a short time, that would be an impossible task."

"So we did the best we could," Jean said, smiling. "I think it's a good start."

Well, where do I start? Without having to write out the whole thing, I can say it was kinda loosely based on the Bill of Rights (I had crappy grades in school and must've slept through history class, but Hank said as much about what they used as inspiration.) It listed out rights and responsibilities of each citizen of An'zhina. It was kind of legalistic and lacked some poetic flow, but for a first draft, it was good. One basic tenet on there was that no citizen of An'zhina would ever go without food, shelter, medical care, or other basic necessities.

Oh----one totally cool thing! One part of the constitution listed like all the different traits that would **not** be discriminated against. Along with all the usuals (you know---race, sex, religion, being a mutant or not, etc) they had "sexual orientation" on there. I actually smiled and blushed when I saw that. I hadn't prompted any of them to have that on there; they must have come up with that on their own.

Anyway, that was basically it for the meeting. Afterwards, it was back to preparations for our return to earth. We had only a few days before we wanted to be back in the stars, returning to rescue more mutants.

Jubilee asked to speak with Storm, Wolverine, and I after dinner that evening. The day had been a busy one, as all of ours now were. I thought back to the meeting that morning and it was hard to believe that less than 8 hours had passed since then. We were always so busy. At least, I reminded myself, the rescued mutants all seemed to be adapting to An'zhina well. We'd shared the constitution with them during lunch in the huge dining hall, and everyone seemed fine with it. I wondered, though, if things would continue to go so smoothly once more and more people came to live on An'zhina.

But anyway, that evening I found myself sitting out on one of the porches with Storm, Wolverine, and Jubilee (and Aurora). This evening was somewhat cool and I was glad for a wooly sweater. Wolverine and Storm sat on a porch swing, and Jubilee and I pulled up chairs, facing them.

Wolverine held Aurora on his lap, absentmindedly playing with her. She crawled and squirmed all over him, occasionally tugging at his facial hair. With the way Wolverine and I had been getting along lately, I hoped Rory was tugging **hard.**

"I need your help to make my decision," Jubilee began. "I really respect all of your opinions. I've been trying to decide whether to go on this next mission or to stay here." I thought it was very mature of her to admit she wanted help with this.

"I'm very honored that you respect my opinion so much," Storm said. "Thank you."

I also then said something to that effect. Storm then asked her, "What do you think, Jubilee? What does your heart tell you?"

"It tells me that I want to go with you. I really, really do!" she insisted. "I love being an X-man. And what good am I doing anyone by staying here?"

"It sounds like you already know what you want to do," I said, smiling.

Wolverine had been silent to this point. Jubilee then turned to look at him, "What do you think, Wolvie? Have you changed your mind at all? Do you think I should go on this mission?" She asked the questions though I'm sure she knew what his response would be.

Wolverine shook his head. "No. No way." He sounded hard and emotionless. As Jubilee's face fell, he said, "Jubilee, it ain't safe. Think of **her**," he said, gesturing to the baby who was currently crawling off of his lap and towards Storm.

"Logan does have a point," Storm said. "You know you must factor in your daughter's safety as well as your own."

"I don't want you guys to think I'm not concerned about her," Jubilee said insistently. "Of course I am. I love her more than anyone. But look at how simple your last rescue mission was! None of the X-men were ever in any real danger during it. Everything turned out fine. It just doesn't seem like this is a good reason for me to not go on the next mission when Aurora's not going to be in any real danger."

"But kid," Wolverine began, "we don't know what our next mission will be like. FOH is expecting us now."

"For the thousandth time, would you please not call me `kid'!" she burst out. "Look at me! I'm an adult. A short one, but an adult! I'm going on 22!"

Storm smiled warmly, seemingly diffusing some of the anger in the area. "Ah, I remember 22….It was so long ago," she said, chuckling to herself. She then focussed on Jubilee. "You are right, of course. You're an adult. You must forgive Logan if he occasionally calls you `kid'. He and I both remember you when you were 14. We've watched you grow up. But we understand that you are now a grown woman." I heard Storm say those words with particular emphasis while taking a sideways glance at Wolverine.

And as Storm spoke, I suddenly felt regretful for all the years I had spent apart from the X-men. I certainly don't regret my therapy or the long process it took for me to accept myself, but I wish I had come back into the fold sooner. I was deprived of watching Jubilee grow up and a thousand other adventures the X-men had experienced together and bonded over. Oh well. No point in living with regrets, and I was just glad to now be a member of the group again.

"She's right," Wolverine was saying. "I'm an old man an' I forget things like that."

"Compared to Logan and I, you are young though," Storm said. "I often feel that I love you as if you were my own niece."

Storm made the declaration unabashedly, and I was moved. By the look on Jubilee's face, she was too. She looked down and smiled, and then returned Storm's sentiment. "What would you do, if you were me?" she asked her.

"I would follow my head and my heart," Storm answered. Aurora was now nestled in Storm's arms, and attempting to place her hand inside Storm's mouth. "We already know what your heart tells you. Does your head tell you the same or different?"

Jubilee tilted her head upwards. Another cool breeze wafted by, and I hugged my arms around myself. "I guess I'd say that logically there is a chance that Aurora or I could be harmed on the next mission," Jubilee said. "I know that. But I don't think the likelihood is too high. I think everything is gonna be fine. You need more X-men on that mission, you need people to help out. I really, really want to be there."

I spoke up, "So I guess it looks like you need to weigh your desire to serve with us against whatever the likelihood is that you and Aurora could be harmed." I, of course, still really wanted her to come with us, but I was trying to impress Storm by contributing * something* intelligent to the conversation.

"Jubilee," Wolverine began, "you got a strong desire to help out the team. We need people **here** on An'zhina too. Cyke and Jean gonna have their hands full looking after 160 mutants. They could use you here."

"I know," she said. "But you'll also really need me on the next rescue mission. If it goes like the first one, you're gonna have…a lot of rescued women who want to talk to another woman. We need people in both places, on the mission and on An'zhina."

We talked around this some more. What it all boiled down to is that no one knew what our next rescue mission would be like. Wolverine kept saying his gut told him it wasn't going to be as simple as our first one, but Storm challenged him to come up with reasoning other than his instincts, and he couldn't. (I mean we knew that FOH would be expecting us, of course, but is it likely that they would come up with something we couldn't handle?)

"Ultimately," Storm said to Jubilee, "the decision is yours."

"I know," Jubilee said, nodding. She paused. "I've decided I'm coming with you."

I didn't attempt to hide my elation as I got up and hugged Jubilee. Wolverine didn't try to hide his dislike of her decision --- but I had to respect how he handled it. He just said words to the effect that she was a fine X-man and knew she'd do a damn good job like she always did. He added, "And we're doin' more karate training then." Our first full day back on An'zhina, Wolverine had led Jubilee and I in a training session, but these last two days we'd slacked off since we were so busy.

"Hey, great!" Jubilee enthused. "We'll have 5 weeks for me to really advance!"

Wolverine looked at me. "You in on this too?" he asked.

"Can I be?" I asked. "I know I haven't been your favorite person lately…"

He shrugged. "Don't matter to me. I'll still work with you."

"Fine by me," I said. "I'd like to keep working with you then." That was good enough for me. Maybe by Wolverine standards **that** constituted reconciling over all the differences we'd had lately.

"Now that we have this all settled," Storm said, exchanging a look with Jubilee, "if you gentlemen will excuse Jubilee and I." She and Jubilee both rose, Storm holding onto Aurora. "She and I have some things to discuss."

"Can't we join you?" I asked, grinning.

"We're gonna talk girl stuff," Jubilee said, returning my smile. "You know, periods and panty hose and other things you're not interested in."

"Hey, who says we're not interested in panty hose??" I joked, provoking a few smiles. I then added questioningly, "But when do you ever wear panty hose though??"

Storm and Jubilee giggled as they exited the porch and went back inside the compound. Wolverine and I didn't really have much to say to each other, so off we went. I wanted to see if I could get a hold of Hank.

I looked around the complex for Hank, but I didn't see him anywhere in the usual hang out spots, having checked all the rec rooms and other common areas. I didn't want to use my communicator to call him either, figuring he was with Panda and probably wanted some privacy. So I just slipped a note under his door, asking him to call me whenever he got a chance.

Storm and Jubilee met inside Storm's room. Storm had been the one to initiate the meeting. "I have noticed that lately you seem …a bit off-kilter when you are around Logan and I," Storm said. "I wanted to talk with you about it and make sure that you are well, Jubilee."

Storm and Jubilee's conversation lasted well into the evening. Jubilee departed Storm's room with her head spinning at the possibilities.

The next day, I was up early and working alongside Jubilee as Wolverine trained us in karate. He said he was pleased with the way I'd kept up with it. He was basically down to business as usual and he did not at all go easy on us.

I saw Hank during breakfast. He seemed surprised that I was up so early, but I explained about the karate training. "So I gotta ask you about the constitution," I said, grinning. "Tell me the scoop about adding `sexual orientation' to the list of categories not to be discriminated against."

"There is no `scoop'", he answered, shrugging.

"Oh, come on," I pleaded. "Who's idea was it, did anyone oppose it….come on!"

Hank smiled. "As I recall, when we came up with the list, Storm suggested many different categories. Jean wrote down all of her ideas. Storm must have had `sexual orientation' on there, and no one made any comment. Jean wrote it down with all the others."

"Really? So there was no discussion? Nightcrawler didn't say anything about it being against God's law or something?"

Hank shook his head. "I cannot imagine Kurt making such a statement. He is religious but I do not see him as small-minded at all. Although I know what your opinion of organized religion is."

I kept trying to get Hank to spill any juicy details but apparently there really were none. I asked him how things were going with Panda, and he just grinned as the love-sick puppy dog expression took over his face. He said everything was going splendidly. He didn't really offer any more details than that. I guess I was in a gossipy mood but, as with other important things, I just wasn't gettin' any. : )

I hadn't spoken with Gambit one-on-one for a little while, so I made a point to find him that day. I hung out with him during a training break. He, Storm, and Angel were going through a training session in the gym with the handful of mutants who wanted to fight with us, Marrow being among them. Marrow always intimidated me a bit, so I stayed clear of her.

When Remy took a breather, I sat down next to him. "Hey, Mr. Newly-Engaged, what's up?" I asked.

He got a smile on his face said everything was going wonderfully well. He then muttered something like, "Gambit had to give Beast….the birds and bees speech, if you know what I mean."

"What?! What are you talking about? He's a **doctor**! He really had better know this."

"Ah, but he wanted to learn about finesse."

"Finesse is your middle name." I didn't want to pursue that line of questioning, so I abruptly changed the subject. "So tell me Remy…what made you decide to do it?" I didn't need to specify what specifically I was referring to.

"Gambit loves Rogue. Dat's all dere is to it. I decided it was time to ask her. I t'ink I shocked her dough."

"I've never seen her looking so happy," I said. Anytime you spotted Rogue, you'd see her walking down the hall with a big grin on her face, looking like she was floating on a cloud.

"Me neither," Gambit smiled.

"I just never would have figured you for the marrying type, Gambit."

He shrugged and said casually, "Gambit gettin' older, Bobby. I be comin' up on 30 now. After all we been t'rough, I know what de important things be."

"Thirty's a good age for making changes. When Hank lured me back to the X-men, I had just turned 30. I'd needed a change and needed some direction in my life." It was funny to be reflecting back on that. In a way, it felt like a lifetime had passed since then, even though it had been less than 2 years. I was a different person now though. I turned back to Remy and changed the subject, "So where did you get that rock on her ring?"

"Gambit not telling, other dan to say bein' a thief has some advantages," he said enigmatically.

We talked and joked around a bit more, and then it was time for him to get back to work.

The days on An'zhina flew by for us, and it really wasn't much of a vacation at all. I only made it to the beach twice, and both times felt a twinge of guilt. It was now after dinner on our sixth full day back on the moon. We had planned a small engagement party for Gambit and Rogue, which would also double as a farewell party for the X-men. The next day, we would be setting out to earth for our next rescue mission. So we really had just about a week on An'zhina. Still, many of the others were complaining that we'd wasted too much time back here anyway. I still had to disagree. What would be the point of working ourselves bone-tired? I found myself almost wishing on the way back to earth we'd crash land on the Paradise planet somehow.

The engagement/going away party was nothing too fancy, but it was nice. I guess the mood---or **my** mood, rather----was bittersweet. We were partly there to celebrate Rogue and Remy's engagement and I was sincerely happy for them, but I also felt sad to be parting again from Scott and Jean, and so many of those we had rescued.

The party was held in the largest rec room in the compound, which just about comfortably fit everyone. We had decorative streamers and balloons up, music playing, and lots of junk food circulating. One streamer read, in block letters, "CONGRATULATIONS, ROGUE AND REMY!" Alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages were served. We had pool tables, ping pong tables, and a couple of video games in the rec room which were being used. The room was really not unlike the rec room in the mansion, what I remember of it anyway.

I sat on one of the sofas, holding my drink and looking around the room. You know, if one of FOH's goals had been to lower our birth rate, maybe they have succeeded. You didn't see a whole of lot the camp survivors circulating. A lot of the women did not attend the party, and those who did tended to sit quietly by themselves or clustered together in small groups. I mean, I sure couldn't blame them or anything and I guess it's a testament to all of us who worked with them that they're coping as well as they are. It's also a testament to their own strength and courage. As I looked around the room, I speculated that Moira and Panda were probably the only women who hadn't been raped by FOH soldiers at some point. None of the rescued female mutants seemed to really want to socialize with the men here (and again, I sure could understand why.) The male mutants were all hesitant to approach the women. They also tended to cluster together and talk quietly. In a bizarre sort of way, it reminded me of junior high dances where the girls lined up on one side and the boys on the other, each "side" too shy to approach the other. (Of course, my interest was in the boys I hung out with, but that's a whole different tale of angst.) Jean was sure going to have her work cut out for herself, taking on the job of counselor for these women.

There were exceptions---not all of the girls and women were withdrawn. One of the rescuees who would be working with us on our next mission was a Russian woman in her thirties, Elena. She'd been trained on bridge duty as well as given basic medical training so she could assist Hank and Panda in sick bay. Her mutation did not confer any stunning powers on her. Her skin and the "whites" of her eyes were bright pink, and her hair---which she'd had cropped into a blunt cut----was naturally an orange hue. Despite her unconventional appearance, she was----like most female mutants----very beautiful. She and Colossus had taken to each other. You would frequently see the two of them spending their free time together, conversing quietly in Russian. I had never seen Peter so happy. At the party that evening, they spent most of the time siting together on a sofa, holding hands.

However, Elena and Colossus did get up to dance at one point. At various other times, Jubilee, Rogue, Gambit, Storm, Jean, and even Nightcrawler (yes, Nightcrawler), and I also found ourselves dancing. I laughed as I saw Jubilee at one point attempting to coax Wolverine onto the dance floor. She gets away with a lot of things that he would never allow anyone else to, but her attempt to get him to dance was unsuccessful. What a shame----I would have paid any amount of money to see "Wolvie" dancing. (Well, we don't really have money here but I digress.)

I guess I don't need to mention that the old grump spent most of the party sitting by himself looking for all the world as if he enjoyed being miserable. As usual, he brightened when Jubilee was around him but that was it. Well, that maybe was not it. I did see Storm bring him a drink, and I caught him returning her smile. They sat together and talked for a while too. I was too busy dancing then to really watch them though, and when Storm got up he went back to sitting there with his arms crossed. But hey, I guess it was a good sign for Wolverine that he even **bothered** to show up for the celebration.

The party continued on. We did play a few group board games and even a game of charades. Many of the rescued mutants came out of their shell a bit more for these games, and I wondered if my earlier thoughts about their long-term welfare had been too pessimistic. And I did a great job at charades, receiving lots of praise from my team (which included Cyclops, Storm, and Panda.) We beat the pants off the other team (which Jean, Nightcrawler, Hank, and Jubilee were all members of.)

Of course one of the guests of honor strongly preferred card games, and we played many rounds of poker, Blackjack, hearts, and other games, with Gambit soundly trouncing everyone else.

The Professor and Moira sat next to each other during much of the party.

"You must be proud to see two more of your X-men engaged, Charles," Moira said.

"Indeed I am. I hope it will bring them happiness." Charles smiled and shook his head. "I remember them when they first came to the team, so long ago. They both have come a long, long way since then." At this point, Rogue and Gambit were among those on the dance floor. Charles glanced at their dancing and felt warmth in his heart from watching them. Although he didn't make it his business to pry into his students' personal lives, he well remembered the days those two fought their attraction and their love for each other. `Two more of my children have really grown up,' he thought to himself.

Siryn went up to Charles and Moira, and sat with them for a bit. She was not back to her usual chatty and carefree self, but she was taking more of an interest in her surroundings and looking more alert than she had since before her imprisonment. And although she did not initiate any conversation, she responded well to her step-mother and the Professor.

"I canna thank you enough for all you've done for her," Moira said quietly, after Siryn had taken her leave of them to get some more snacks.

"Please, Moira, no need to keep thanking me. I am glad to help. Seeing her improve like this is very fulfilling." He glanced around the room. "I wish Betsy would improve."

"I havena seen her in here tonight."

"I don't think she ever planed on attending. She has been very quiet and withdrawn lately." Warren had popped in for a short while to pay his respects to Rogue and Gambit's engagement, but Betsy had not joined him. Her mood for the past few days had been consistently sullen and withdrawn. On one hand, it was encouraging that her mood swings appeared to be ceasing. But Charles knew he would also need to work with her to ensure she did not remain morose. He then said to Moira, "It is fortunate that she is returning to earth with us, so she and I will be able to continue working together."

"Your powers truly are a gift. You hae such potential to relieve suffering." Moira hoped that Charles could feel the warmth she felt towards him. His eyes looked a million lightyears away right then, and she saw wistfulness in them. Not that Moira could blame him. `Look at all he's lost,' she thought to herself. `His institute and mansion were burnt to the ground. Several of his students were killed. Magneto was killed too and Lord knows that despite all their disagreements over the years, Charles loved him. The FOH took all of his money. And surely he's coming to realize that he's lost his dream too. If humans and mutants are to live in peace on earth, we willna see it in our lifetime.'

Moira's somber thoughts continued. `Of course I have lost so much too. My husband and my son. My practice, my livelihood….' She halted that train of thought. No sense dwelling on the negative. `Both Charles and I lost so much, we should not be apart. Not now, not ever.' Moira had secretly been overjoyed that Siryn had given her leave to return to earth with the X-men. Much as she loved her step-daughter, Moira desperately wanted to be with Charles. She had been looking forward to their breakfasts together every morning as the high point of her day.

Meanwhile, Jean and Cyclops, holding their baby, came up to the Professor and Moira and spoke with them for a while. Jean and Cyclops wanted to spend as much time with the Professor as they could, saddened that he would be leaving again so soon. Jean wished for more time to talk to talk about less important things, but she and the Professor wound up discussing the counseling needs of the various women who would be remaining on An'zhina. Although they'd had several such conversations before, Jean wanted to glean every drop of knowledge possible.

Later on in the evening, after Charles and Moira had retired for the evening, Scott and Jean sat together on the sofa. Jean tapped her foot to the music, observing several people dancing away on the dance floor. "You want to get up and dance, Jean? I can hold her," Scott offered, gesturing for Charlotte who was sitting on her mother's lap. Scott did not dance at all, but he knew Jean occasionally enjoyed doing so.

"No, that's alright," Jean said. "I think I'd rather sit here with you," she said, as she snuggled closer to him.

"It's getting close to Charlotte's bedtime."

"I know. I can feel her fading fast." She smiled, "In fact, I'm fading fast too."

"I'm getting tired too. Maybe we should go back to our room, soon."

"We probably should. I just want to spend as much time here with the others as possible. After tomorrow, we're not going to see them again for two and a half more months. Assuming all goes well."

Scott put his arm around Jean. "I'm sure everything will go just fine."

"I really hope so. And I hope Jubilee made the right decision to go with them. It just seems like such an unnecessary risk for her and Aurora."

"I guess our company was just too awful!" Scott joked.

Jean couldn't resist a giggle. "Remember the time she knocked on our door when we were….." The pair chuckled together. "I guess we shouldn't laugh," Jean said, sobering up. "She probably is lonely. I'm sure that is partly why she wants to return."

Scott nodded. "Hey, look," he said, tilting his head towards the door. "Looks like Wolverine's had enough for the evening." Wolverine had made his way to the exit and left the party for the evening.

"I'm just glad he showed up at all," Jean said. She kept her tone even, though she felt a twinge of confusion on the topic of Wolverine. Something from his emotional signature was missing. Jean concentrated for a few more seconds and really thought it over. For the past decade or so, whenever Jean had taken a reading of Wolverine's feelings, she had sensed his love for her. He still loved her, of that she was certain. But….for the past few days, the feeling she sensed from him seemed less intense somehow. Jean was having a hard time describing it to herself. She also knew she should be glad for this, but for some reason she was not. `What am I doing?' she asked herself. `I should stay out of his head and mind my own business.' But usually Jean did not even need to consciously enter Logan's mind to feel his emotions for her.

"Is something wrong, my love?" Scott asked.

"No, no, not at all," Jean said. She put Logan out of her mind and verbalized some of the other things that had been causing her concern. "I'm just feeling a little sad that the rest of the X-men are leaving tomorrow. And feeling a little overwhelmed at all the work we're going to have to do with those people who are remaining behind." Jean added a laugh to her words when she realized the enormity of the task ahead of them.

"Oh, is that all?" Scott joked with her. "We have a baby to take care of and another on the way, we now have 160 torture survivors who need our help, and basically the rest of our family is going away on a dangerous mission. Nothing at all to be worried about!"

They shared a laugh over the ridiculousness of the situation. Jean shook her head. "Sometimes I wish for my sister's life. She'll never have to----" Jean stopped herself. "Well, her life might be a lot easier than mine, but she does not have the community that we X-men have. And she and her husband aren't as in love as we are. Who am I kidding? I wouldn't trade with her for the world."

Jean and Scott shared a kiss. Soon afterwards, they bid farewell to their friends and congratulated Rogue and Gambit once more. They then left for their room.

Storm decided to take a break from dancing. She walked over to a tray full of confectionery delights and helped herself to a brownie.

"Have you tried the mint cream bars? They're fuckin' awesome!" Marrow came right up behind Storm and helped herself to one of her favorite deserts.

"I have, but I think I prefer these brownies," Storm said. "Are you enjoying the party, Marrow?"

"No. But sitting on the side and smirking at you people dancing sure beats hangin' out in my room."

"I've always considered myself a very good dancer," Storm said, smiling tolerantly at Marrow's brashness.

"You are. There are a coupla Russians who could take lessons from you though. What about your boyfriend? Doesn't he dance?"

"Do you mean Wolverine?" Storm asked. She would never refer to Logan as her "boyfriend" and was really caught off-guard by Marrow's question.

"Are you sleeping with anyone besides him? Of course I mean Wolverine!"

Storm patiently rolled her eyes and responded, "I do not think he dances."

"So what's the deal with you and him? Are you two a couple or are you just fuck buddies?"

"That's enough, Marrow," Storm said, sternly.

"Oh c'mon. Gimme the scoop. The word is that he's in love with that pregnant redhead. Is that it? So you and him just sleep together but he don't love you? And do you love him and wish he'd return it?"

Storm forced herself to take a deep breath. For the first time, Marrow was really making her angry. "Be quiet, Marrow. I do not wish to discuss this." Storm angrily turned her back and moved to the other side of the room.

Marrow shrugged and didn't follow her.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Jubilee were among those still making use of the dance floor. One of the rescued mutants had worked as a DJ and was eagerly spinning tunes for the group. He had been playing some of the traditional dance party songs, but then decided to switch to a slower, romantic tune.

Rogue and Gambit held each other closely and looked into each other's eyes as they danced to the romantic song. Jubilee looked at Bobby. "Oh, good," Bobby was saying, "I'm ready for a break."

"Me too," Jubilee said, as she followed him off the floor and over to a refreshment stand.

Bobby handed Jubilee a drink, and the two then headed straight for Hank and Panda. The couple was sitting on one of the sofas, Hank cradling the sleeping Aurora. "You two look so cozy," Bobby said, standing before them. "You look so cute holding the baby. Maybe someday you'll have one of your own." Panda blushed.

"Thank you for holding her," Jubilee said, as Hank handed the baby back to Jubilee.

"It was my pleasure," Hank said. "She is sound asleep."

"Are you two gonna hit the dance floor now?" Bobby asked. "They're playing some mooshy love song for you guys."

"Dancing is not a skill that I have," Hank said.

"Me neither," Panda added.

"You can learn. It's not hard—and I can teach you," Bobby added.

"Some other time, my friend," Hank said, with a smile. He and Panda looked quite cozy, sitting together. Neither wanted to budge. Now that Aurora was taken from them, the couple entwined their hands.

"Suit yourself," Bobby said, craning his head around for a glimpse at the dance floor. It had pretty much cleared out, except that for Rogue and Gambit dancing together, and Colossus and Elena similarly entwined. Bobby kept to himself any nasty comments he wanted to make about Peter's dancing skills. As he did with nearly everyone else, the Russian man towered over his love interest.

The four friends then lapsed into an easy conversation. Panda found she liked Jubilee very much---she really liked her vivacity and spirit. The two spoke together very easily. They got excited when they realized that they were probably very close in age. Panda asked Jubilee about her decision to join the X-men on their next rescue mission to earth. "Making that decision was one of the most grown-up and hardest things I did," Jubilee said. "But I know it was the right one."

Panda's warm feeling towards Jubilee was mutual; Jubilee found herself taking a liking to Panda as well. She also felt Panda was more mature than she, though she couldn't put her finger on exactly why she felt that way.

And Jubilee felt another emotion too. She was jealous of Panda. An outside observer might think she was crazy for feeling that way. After all, Jubilee had grown into a very lovely young woman, petite with an attractive, athletic build. Panda, with her partly animal-like features, large frame, and furry body did not exactly fit the mold of the conventionally beautiful. But it was clear how in love she and Hank were. The more time the four spent sitting together, the more envious Jubilee became. `Everyone has someone except me. Jean has Scott, Rogue and Gambit are engaged now, Storm has whatever she has with Wolvie, Colossus has his new girlfriend, and now look at Hank and Panda. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been kissed!' Although Jubilee's outward expression was its normal friend and outgoing self, with each passing minute she felt more depressed. She was glad none of the X-men sitting there had telepathic abilities. `Am I ever going to get anyone?' she began to despair. `Or am I going to go through life with my only sexual experience being what the soldiers did to me? Am I ever even going to get kissed??'

Only one thought kept her consoled. Perhaps the conversation she and Storm had had a couple of days ago would bring the results she hoped for.

Bobby couldn't have known it but his thoughts were running on a similar train of thought as Jubilee's. He glanced at Panda and Hank, sitting so close together, Panda occasionally resting her head on Hank's shoulder. Bobby remembered back to the celebration the X-men had with the native people back on the Paradise planet after the invaders had been halted. At that party, Bobby had curled up in Hank's lap. He saw Panda in his place now and felt such envy pumping through his veins. For a moment, he detested Panda. He wanted to again be the one to cuddle against Hank, resting his head against warm fur. Bobby didn't want a sexual relationship with his best friend but he so coveted the affection. He forced himself to remain smiling and try to be happy for Hank.

Later that evening, Hank walked Panda back to her room. As they often did, they remained together in the hallway outside of her room, kissing. Hank then went back to his room and tried to perfect the poem he was working on for her.

That night, Rogue and Gambit were curled up together as they drifted off to sleep. "Remy, never in my life have I been this happy."

"Same for me, chere. Same for me."

Chapter 17

Chapter 19 


	19. Chapter 19

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 19

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 19

The day after Rogue and Gambit's engagement party, we headed back for earth with the goal of freeing as many mutants from FOH as possible. Of course our other goals included returning to earth those mutants who wanted to go back and dropping off notes and/or pictures to the families of some of the mutants (such as Jean and Panda) who would not be returning to earth.

I knew I would miss An'zhina and those we were leaving behind on it. Just as last time, we exchanged semi-tearful goodbyes with Jean, Scott, and their baby. I glanced at the Professor. For a man who generally kept his emotions in check, the sorrow he felt at being separated from them was palpable. Poor Professor, I thought. I wondered if he didn't deserve a break. He'd been working tirelessly with the X-men for a very long time now. Didn't he ever want to take some time off? But I knew he would never consider it, not while there were mutants back on earth, suffering.

We boarded our ship, Freedom. The cloaking device was engaged, and we set off at maximum warp. If all went well, we'd reach earth in five weeks.

I loved having Jubilee there. The days and, eventually, weeks just flew by. My mind was kept away from whatever horrors might await us back on earth. Although we spent long hours training and on bridge duty, I also spent some happy times swimming, playing with Aurora, playing cards, or just hanging out in the rec room with the others. Jubilee was clearly delighted to be back among us. Needless to say, both Rogue and Gambit were happier than I'd ever seen them. Several times I caught her taking sideways glances at her engagement ring as if she needed to remind herself it was there. And even Wolverine was cool. He and I hadn't been getting along too well as of late but we just kind of made a tacit agreement to forget our differences. (I mean, not that Wolverine ever really likes to "talk things out" anyway.) He went back to training Jubilee and I in karate.

Colossus, however, didn't join us for karate any longer. His free time was spent with Elena. Nightcrawler expressed an interest to join us for karate training, and soon was working alongside us. Gotta hand it to "Wolvie." He pisses me off at times but he's a great teacher. By this point, I felt as though I could kick anyone's butt using karate, with or without my mutant powers.

I was getting used to the changing nature of my friendship with Hank. He and Panda continued to ensure they were spending time with me, and that I also got one-on-one time with Hank. I appreciated that. I even got to brush Hank a few times just like the old days. Yeah, I guess I was still jealous. What can I say? It would be easier if Panda was superficial or somehow unlikable, but she was really just as great as Hank was. I struggled every day to be happy for Hank when my heart hurt and I really wanted to go back to being his number one.

After not long, the Professor used Cerebro II to make contact with Shaman from Alpha Flight. The X-men were sitting down to dinner one evening when he described the encounter.

The group now ate in the large mess hall, their old tradition of eating in sick bay having been completely put aside. Nightcrawler had asked once why they ever used to eat in the infirmary. The X-men had begun doing that so that they could keep an eye on Jubilee at all times, during the dark days when she'd been traumatized out of her mind. They had also done it because the mess hall was far away from all the other central areas of the ship and they had needed to conserve dilithium.

"Shaman and I were in contact for quite some time today," the Professor began. "He and the other two surviving members of Alpha Flight very much want to join us."

"That would be marvelous," Storm said. "Shaman's healing power would be very useful."

Wolverine nodded, remembering his days in Alpha Flight. "The twins are powerful too. They both can fly at hyper speed. They can run and swim at hyper speed too."

"Professor," Storm asked, "did Shaman tell you any information about the condition of mutants on earth? We have only been away from earth for about 7 weeks, but I wonder if there has been any change since we liberated that camp."

"He did not have a lot of concrete information," the Professor said, shaking his head. "He and the others have been living underground and on the run ever since they returned to earth. Shaman is very tired of living underground. They often have trouble receiving information about what is going on in the outside world. However," he paused, "Shaman did say the rumors are that the situation for mutants is getting worse."

No one had any objection to Shaman, Northstar and Marie joining up with the X-men; in fact, the prospect of receiving more fighters was welcome news. When Freedom came closer to earth, they would determine the specifics of meeting up with Alpha Flight.

Wolverine and Storm lay wrapped in each other's arms. A long, tiring day of training for them had ended with an intense bout of lovemaking---actually, with several different rounds of lovemaking which served to relieve their tension and bring them both immense pleasure. The scent of their passion hung in the air.

Storm was exhausted, every muscle in her body fatigued. She felt content too----at least physically content, if not completely content emotionally. She rearranged her pillow into a more comfortable position and fell back against it.

One of Wolverine's hands made its way towards her thigh and began to caress it.

"No, Logan," Storm murmured, picking up his hand and removing it from her body. The last few hours had been wonderful, but physically her strength was depleted and she would not be able to last another bout.

"Sorry, darlin'," Logan said. Her fragrant aroma filled his nostrils, her taste was still on his lips, the warmth of her body delicious. Her chocolate skin glistened with a fine sheen of perspiration. Storm was such a woman. Wolverine could hardly be blamed for wanting some more. Slightly chagrined, he removed his hand back to where it had been.

An idea popped into Storm's head. Although she was tired, perhaps this was the time to bring up what she had been wanting to discuss for a short while now. "You are so powerful, Logan. Your vigor is amazing."

"It's the healing factor, darlin'"

"Perhaps. But I think part of it is **you.** Making love with you is such an amazing experience, I thank the Goddess every day that I asked you. Never in my life have I been with anyone as…skilled as you."

Wolverine could not resist a smile at the praise. He knew she'd been enjoying it, but it was still good to hear that. He was about to return the compliment when Storm spoke again.

"I almost feel guilty keeping you all to myself," Storm said. "Especially given your stamina and your ability to give and receive such pleasure for so long."

Wolverine lifted his head from the pillow. Her tone had taken on a new nuance. Where was she going with this?

"There are other women who want you, Logan."

He grunted a reply. He could smell when someone was attracted to him, Storm knew that. Jean was attracted to him but she would never betray Scott, and it hardly mattered now as so many lightyears separated them. Of course, he had known for quite some time that there **was** another….

"There is one in particular who wants you. Have you considered giving in to her?" Storm continued.

Logan propped himself up on one elbow and gently turned Storm towards himself. "What are you saying, Ororo?" he asked, calling her by her rarely-used birth name. He looked into her eyes.

Storm smiled. "I'm talking about Jubilee. She's never known anything like what we're experiencing. She wants you. Why not let -----"

"No!" Wolverine said, releasing Storm's shoulder, shocked at her words. "No way. Never. She is the last female I'd ever sleep with."

Storm's smile never waned. "She's an adult now, Logan. She's 22 years old."

Wolverine shook his head. "Her age don't matter. The answer is `no', for a million reasons. I can't believe you're askin' this."

"What are the reasons?" Storm asked gently, silently chiding herself for disrupting her satisfied mood like this. Wolverine was quiet for a few moments. Storm prodded him softly, "Hmmm?" she asked.

"I don't care if she's 22, she's still too young," he finally said.

"Well, everyone is too young for you, including me. We do not know how old you are, except that you are very old indeed." Storm paused and then chuckled, "Moira MacTaggert is probably too young for you!"

Wolverine didn't return her levity. "Jubilee's like my kid sister. I'm not gonna screw up our relationship by doin' something that like."

"Maybe you need to view the situation differently. Instead of seeing it as a chance to mess up a relationship, maybe it would enhance the relationship."

Wolverine shook his head and muttered, "No way."

Storm continued, "Jubilee has never had a lover. She's never experienced lovemaking. It would be so wonderful if you would be the one to teach her, to open the doors for her and show her how incredible it can be. You would be giving a wondrous gift to someone you love. And you would also gain some pleasure from it too, I'm sure."

"Storm, stop this. I don't even wanna think 'bout this. It's not gonna happen, ever."

"But Logan, Jubilee needs----"

He cut her off. "What's the deal, Storm? Why are you askin' me this? You wanna get rid of me?"

"Not at all. Never," Storm said passionately. "Our lovemaking is the highlight of my day. But Jubilee and I….could share you. We could take turns. I am certainly not proposing a threesome or anything like that, but perhaps you could alternate spending a night with me and the next night with her. Or whatever you wanted. So we would not ----"

"You can stop explaining, `cause it ain't gonna happen." He paused. He didn't want to think about this anymore, but a disturbing question flickered in his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. "Did Jubilee put you up to this?"

"No. I suggested it to her because I noticed how lonely she has seemed, and she has told me in the past how much she craves…this. She told me it would be alright for me to ask at least. She needs to experience lovemaking."

"If she'd stayed back on An'zhina, there were a bunch of mutants she could've started dating." As he said the words, Wolverine didn't like the thought. Whoever she started dating, he would need to pre-screen and approve….if any guy hurt her, he'd make him pay.

"None of them, I'm sure, would have had your prowess. No man I've ever been with has come anywhere near your ability. Besides," she breathed, "Jubilee is attracted to you."

"I know. I can smell it and she ain't the only one either. I ain't gonna have sex with everyone who wants me. I ain't a machine. I ain't something you own to be `shared.'"

"I did not mean it that way, Logan and you know it. However, I see that I am not going to change your mind."

"You got it."

Storm sighed. "Now I'm uncertain what to tell Jubilee. She will be so disappointed. Perhaps I'll tell her that I simply couldn't get up the nerve to ask."

Wolverine fought to refrain from growling. "That's your problem. You shouldn't have asked in the first place."

Wolverine turned his back to her and tried to sleep. So many things bothered him. The thought of making love to Jubilee bothered him. The thought of having to see her the next day bothered him, as did the thought that she would be disappointed. A few other things irritated him too. The thought that he might enjoy making love to Jubilee bothered him. He tried to sleep but his mind kept coming back to one more thing. The thought that Storm asked him hurt. `If I'm so remarkable, why don't she wanna keep me to herself?'

Storm also took her time falling asleep, missing feeling Wolverine against her. She sincerely was sad for Jubilee. She felt something else too, though. She was glad that she would not have to share Wolverine. `What does it matter?' she asked herself. `I've never owned his heart and I never will. Sharing his body wouldn't have made a difference either.'

The rest of the X-men had been gone for nearly two weeks now. Scott was putting Charlotte down for the evening, after having finished his daily ritual of reading to her. The baby reached up for her father and held one of his fingers. Scott looked with adoration down at the little girl. Even though Charlotte was now nine months old, Scott could still hardly believe that he was a father. Jean reassured him constantly that he was doing a wonderful job at fatherhood. Scott smiled, looking down at his daughter and was able to feel the love for him that the baby had. `Jean must be right. I'm doing ok with this,' he told himself.

Jean entered the room, walking right up to Scott. The couple exchanged a quick kiss.

"You look tired, my love," Scott said.

"You feel tired," Jean said, sensing his emotional state and resting her head on his shoulder for a bit.

Soon afterwards, they undressed for bed and lay down together. It was still early, but their bodies cried out for rest. "You want to talk before we sleep?" Scott asked.

"Yes," Jean said, curled up against Scott.

"This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I think it's harder than being leader of the X-men." There was no need to clarify what Scott was talking about. The past two weeks had been grueling for the two.

"I try to view it as a way to test our mettle at parenting. In a way, we're parenting all these people here."

"I'll try to look at it that way. I am starting to see some results, though. That's encouraging." Scott was working in groups with nearly all the rescued mutants. One need that had been identified had to do with self-esteem. All of the mutants, no matter what their age, had grown up absorbing society's message that they were worthless, a mistake of nature, a freak, evil, soulless, etc. During the too-few days that the Professor had been on An'zhina, he and Scott had worked on some programs to instill self-confidence and a sense of self-worth in these people. The program began with the mutants talking about growing up, the messages they heard from parents, teachers, friends, religion, etc. They then worked on a number of different activities designed to give them a sense of confidence and trust.

"The program you and the Professor worked on is wonderful. I think it'll benefit all of our people."

"I think so too. I need to remember to call Queen Marina though. I bet she can help us order some books that will make the program even better." Scott paused. He felt Jean snuggle a bit closer to him. "How are you doing?" he asked gently. "I know you've been struggling a bit."

Jean was working on group healing sessions with the female mutants. She sighed. "I almost don't want to talk about it. It's harder than I thought it would be."

"So you don't want to talk about it now?"

Jean sighed. "I don't think so. Though I appreciate you asking me about it. I need to put it out of my head for a bit." No doubt for Jean that this was one of the most difficult things she had ever worked on. Listening to the women recount the numerous and repeated sexual assaults they had lived through was nothing short of horrific. After all the healing ceremonies she and the others had experienced, Jean had told herself she was alright and then promptly banished what she'd lived through to the back of her mind. Dealing with the rape survivors forced her to think about it day in and day out. `And now,' Jean thought to herself, `the others are on their way to earth and will return with who-knows how many survivors who've lived through the same thing. There won't be any end to it. And I've got another baby on the way….'

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Scott prompted again, sensing her emotional state through their psy-link.

"Thank you, sweetie," Jean said. "I know you care about me. But I'm so tired right now, I think I just need to sleep some." Just moments after the words fell from her lips, she drifted off into unconsciousness.

Scott was grateful that she was able to sleep so easily. Charlotte, too, was a sound and quiet sleeper----which truly was a blessing. Scott hoped he'd soon join them in sleep. He, too, wondered when a rest break would be in sight. Since the other X-men had departed, he and Jean had made love only once. They were so tired all the time. But even if they didn't have as much time for sex as he would have liked, they still held each other and expressed words of love every day.

"You and Storm did what??" I asked, not believing the words Jubilee had spoken.

Jubilee just smiled and laughed, her eyes shining bright. "Oh, I **so** hope he agrees to it!" was all she said.

Jubilee and I were eating breakfast together in her room one morning, with Jubilee spoon feeding Aurora. (Aurora, by the way, clearly missed Charlotte.) Back at the mansion, neither of us had been big on starting the day with breakfast but by now it was an old habit. It was hard to get through a rigorous morning of training without some fuel. On the days I skipped it, I was starving by lunchtime.

I shook my head. "So let me get this straight. Storm is going to ask Wolverine to sleep with you??"

"That's the plan," she said with obvious merriment.

My mouth was still hanging open. "Well, I'm shocked. Storm agreed to this??"  


Jubilee shrugged. "Yeah. Our hope is for me and Wolvie to have the same type of relationship that he and Storm have."

"Like, where you sleep together but aren't a couple?"

"Basically."

My head swam. "Is that going to really be alright with you? I mean, don't you want more? Like a real relationship?"

"Look around you, Bobby. How many eligible men do you see lining up to have a relationship with me?"

Mentally, I ran down the list of all the men on the ship. "Well, what about Nightcrawler?" He was the only single man on board who might make a suitable partner for Jubilee.

"Nightcrawler? Kurt's nice and all, but he's way too quiet and serious for me. I'm not really attracted to him either. He's never expressed any sort of interest in me---I don't think he's into having a girlfriend or anything like that."

"What about Marrow?" I asked, smiling. "Then you could be gay! Then you and I would have something else to bond over!"

Jubilee chuckled. "Sorry, but I can't see myself with another girl." She then added, "Especially Marrow." Among the assortment of bones protruding from Marrow's body, I had noticed she recently had a small one poking out the middle of her chin and forming what appeared to be a sharp point.

"Okay," I said, still trying to digest this. "Jubilee, you've never had a boyfriend before, have you?" She shook her head `no.' "Okay. So let's say you and Wolverine do the nasty. You're going to want more from him. You're going to want a real relationship, a romantic boyfriend, and you're going to be very sad when he doesn't want that."

"Storm and I discussed that," she said, simply. "Like I told you, she and I have been talking about it a bit since she came back to An'zhina. She described her relationship with Wolvie. It would be fine with me, too."

I shook my head. "I don't see it. I just can't see it at all. And I still can't believe that Storm is okay with this!"

"Look, she described their relationship to me as saying they're good friends who sleep together and care about each other, but that's it."

"And you really think that's going to work for you??"

"Sheesh, listen to how judgmental you are! I never judge your romantic life."  


"Of course not---I don't have one!"

She and I shared a laugh over that. She went on. "You know what I mean."

I took a breath and paused to take a swig of my orange juice. "Okay," I said again, still trying to get my arms around this scenario. "Have you thought of how this might impact your relationship with Wolverine? Storm had a different sort of relationship with him----more like friends, peers. But Wolverine's like your uncle now. You enter into something like this and that changes everything. It might not be a change for the better."

"Storm told me that change is a part of life and we need to accept it." As Jubilee said the words so calmly, I wondered how Storm really felt. Was she really completely fine with sharing the wild man? A few times in the past several months I'd taken a glimpse of Storm looking at Logan, and I thought that maybe I saw something in her eyes that belied a deeper feeling. But who knew? Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me.

"Jubes, what if----"  


"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry. Jubilee, what if he says no? I mean, he might not want to do this because of your relationship, the way you were like his kid sister for so many years."

"I'm a grown woman. I can deal. I've dealt with far worse in my lifetime."

Jubilee and I went back and forth for a little while longer. I still couldn't really grasp the situation. I mean, I knew she'd had a crush on Wolverine like forever. So had I. But I never really thought she'd every suggest something so bold. Maybe I underestimated her----Jubilee has always been a gutsy girl. I've heard so many stories of her daring spirit starting from when she first joined the X-men.

But I saw that she clearly was resolute and happy with her decision to ask. "Okay," I said again. "Just one thing. If he says yes….**details**! I want details! In fact, I want every single detail! No—better than that, I want a camera in the room focussed on Wolverine!"

She and I both cracked up. "I can't help you on the camera, but I will give you details! I promise."

"And who knows? If he says yes to you, maybe **I'll** ask him!"

Later on that morning, Jubilee and the other X-men assembled in the Danger Room for their first training session of the day. Jubilee looked intently at Storm but noticed Storm appeared totally focussed on her training. She did not meet Jubilee's gaze at all. After the morning sessions, Storm remained with Marrow in the gym, for the purpose of giving the younger woman additional training tips and working on one-on-one scenarios. Jubilee resolved to corner Storm at lunch.

Wolverine, meanwhile, wanted desperately to get out of the afternoon karate session he'd scheduled with Jubilee (and Bobby.) One downside of having a healing factor is that faking injury or illness is not possible---not that he would ever do so anyway.

When Jubilee arrived to the mess hall for lunch, Storm was already sitting next to Nightcrawler and across from Moira. The three appeared to be having an intense conversation, so intense that Storm rarely even looked away from the two others. Jubilee could not get a seat near the Wind Rider.

Wolverine cancelled the afternoon karate session, muttering words to the effect of replacing Angel on bridge duty so that Angel could spend more time with Psylocke.

Storm hated the idea of avoiding Jubilee. She especially hated the idea of possibly having to lie to her----this ran completely contrary to her nature. As Wolverine had told her the night before, how to tell Jubilee was now her problem. She would need to find the best way to deal with it.

Meanwhile, in sick bay, Beast and Panda had finished spending the morning getting Ramon up to speed on several different pieces of equipment in the medical lab. The young mutant was becoming a very well trained medical assistant. "It is time for me to attend my afternoon training session in the Danger Room" Hank then said. "I will return in a few hours."

"Have a good session. I'm going to keep at these reports." Panda had been reviewing, in her spare time, the research Hank had amassed pertaining to different types of stun gas. Next to the computer stood a vase full of replicated flowers that Panda had given Hank.

Before Hank left, the couple shared a quick kiss. Panda then turned her head and watched as he left sick bay. She then slumped back into her sturdy chair and sighed.

Panda wished desperately for a girlfriend, a confidant. She and Hank shared nearly everything. They also worked together nearly all day. But because Panda spent so much of her time in sick bay, she had not really been able to develop close friendships with any of the other women, or with anyone other than Hank, really. Bobby was nice enough, but Panda didn't need telepathic powers to sense his strong jealousy. Everyone was cordial and pleasant with her, but there wasn't anyone she could really ask advice for regarding personal matters; there wasn't anyone---other than Hank--- who functioned as a best friend. And right now Panda was feeling quite a bit of uncertainty.

`Why haven't Hank and I made love yet?' was the question that she couldn't get out of her head.

She loved Hank. Of that there was absolutely no doubt. But why hadn't Hank initiated any lovemaking yet? Panda went through all the possible explanations in her head. She knew he loved her. Hank was not religious, so that could not be an explanation. And virtually every night, the couple engaged in what a teenager might refer to as a "make out session." But it never went further than that.

A nagging doubt jabbed at Panda's mind and she couldn't get rid of it. `Maybe he thinks I'm ugly….Why not? Everyone else does. And Hank looks like me but….what if he unconsciously buys into the normal standard for female beauty?' She knew that she herself could not be farther away from the conventionally attractive---she was big, wide, and furry. All the other women on the ship---Storm, Rogue, Jubilee, Psylocke, etc----were beautiful by any standard. `Maybe he just doesn't **want** to make love to me,' she thought glumly.

Of course the simple resolution would have been to ask Hank. Or to initiate something herself. But for reasons she couldn't explain to herself, Panda held back. `I know what it is,' she told herself. `I'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid he doesn't want me.' Panda turned her attention back to the computer, longing for her old best friend from high school. She decided to settle for immersing herself in her work and waiting.

That evening, Storm knocked on the door to Jubilee's room. Jubilee welcomed her older friend inside.

"I am sorry that I could not come by earlier," Storm said, as she sat down on the chair. Jubilee sat on the bed opposite her. "I just finished up my bridge duty shift." Storm had resolved to cease avoiding Jubilee and to give her the news. Putting it off had not helped anyone one bit.

"No prob," Jubilee said, leaning forward. "So," she began, her eyes shining, "did you get a chance to talk to Wolverine?"

"I did."

Jubilee's face fell. Just from looking at Storm, she knew what the answer was going to be. "Oh no," she said.

"I'm sorry, Jubilee. Wolverine cares about you a great deal and he does not wish to do anything that could disturb your relationship."

"But the two of you have been lovers for a long time now, and it hasn't hurt your friendship at all!" Jubilee countered.

Storm knew only too well. And they had not been able to move beyond friendship at all, either. `That's alright,' Storm told herself. `I don't want to be more than friends with him. What we have is fine….' Even as Storm attempted to reassure herself, she knew she was not being truthful regarding her feelings for Logan. In fact, during the past 24 hours the more she tried to tell herself she didn't care, the more she knew she did care.

"I know," Storm replied. "However, he feels that the relationship he and I had is quite different than the one that he has with you. I see that now, too."

Jubilee looked down and shook her head. "Oh Storm. What have I done? Is he gonna not want to be friends with me any more? Is it gonna be real awkward now?"

"Possibly things will be awkward for a bit," Storm said, calmly. "However, I think they would have been more uncomfortable had you and he had gone through with it. I think it is better this way." She paused, "Besides, you know Logan. I believe he will be able to continue on as if nothing happened. And truly nothing **has** happened. I would say to continue on relating to him as you always have. In all probability, he will forget that the request was ever made."

Jubilee nodded. "You're right. Besides, who are we fooling? She might be lightyears away, but Jean is the only one he really wants."

Storm looked down at her hands, which she folded in her lap. "Yes," she breathed, some of the sorrow in her voice being detected by Jubilee, "yes….you are right."

The starship Freedom drew closer to earth. Serving on bridge duty was becoming a less-boring and slightly more nerve-wracking experience, as constant scans of the area needed to be run. One never knew where an FOH vessel might be lurking.

Colossus was on bridge duty when it happened. The Professor knew that soon they would be within scanning distance of the earth, so he made his way to the bridge and joined Colossus.

"We will be in scanning range in about 3 minutes," Colossus reported, looking down at his monitor. Storm and Moira decided to join them on the bridge and stood behind the captain's and first officer's chairs.

"Putting image on monitor," Colossus reported a few moments later as Freedom entered scanning range of earth. The burly Russian pressed a few buttons and an image was placed on the viewscreen.

Moira could not restrain a gasp. Five FOH starships were patrolling earth.

So we finally came within scanning range of earth. When we were told about the FOH ships patrolling earth, it freaked me out a bit but I wasn't really surprised either. We knew they'd be expecting us. I guess this was their way of sending a message to us. And who knew what waited for us on the planet's surface at the next camp we would attempt to liberate?

Despite that, though, it looked as if they hadn't come up with any technology to detect our cloak still. None of those or any other ships approached us and we continued to move towards earth under stealth. We were just over 2 weeks away from earth.

Jubilee and I hung out one afternoon just after a karate session instructed by the object of our mutual lust. She and I had just finished showering and we walked back to the bridge where she was to begin her duty shift. I offered to hang out with her, so we scooped up Aurora and settled on the bridge.

"All I can say is that we must be the most in-shape mutants in the galaxy," I said, rubbing some warming salve into my thigh as I'd slightly strained the muscle earlier. Hank confirmed what I already knew---it was nothing serious. "I think every muscle in my body is defined and I'm stronger than I've ever been."

"Training every day will do that for you," Jubilee said, holding her baby but looking intently at a few different monitors. She, as everyone else, now took bridge duty very seriously. Aurora seemed to be sleepy and was less squirmy than normal. "Thanks to the karate training from Wolverine. I feel more confident than ever."

"Yeah, me too," I said, flexing one of my biceps and feeling it with the other hand. Hard as rock. "So how have things between you and our favorite Canuck been?" There was no need to clarify exactly what I meant.

Jubilee shrugged. "He's just been acting like nothing happened. And as Storm told me the other day, nothing **did** happen. Can't say I'm surprised at the way he's acting."

"Well, at least you asked. Ur—I mean---Storm asked. But at least the request was made. You'd always be wondering if nothing was said."

"Yeah, I know. I don't regret that I asked but I'm just gonna try to forget about it, like he apparently has. I'm just going to dedicate myself to this mission and helping the mutants we rescue."

"Trust me, once we beam a bunch of camp survivors on board this ship, we'll both be too busy to mourn over the fact that we're both single and not gettin' any!!"

As Jubilee and I laughed, the Professor entered the bridge. "Hi, Professor," I said, reflexively standing up as I saw the serious look on his face. Jubilee immediately turned back to her monitor, steadying Aurora with one arm so as not to drop her. "Is anything wrong?" I asked.

"No, nothing is wrong," he said, maneuvering his hover chair over to one of the consoles. "However, I have made telepathic contact with Shaman from Alpha Flight. We need to move our ship to these coordinates," he said, punching some numbers onto the keyboard.

"Are we going to meet up with them soon?" Jubilee asked.

"Their departure from earth has been hastened as FOH came close to discovering their shuttle. Several days ago, they engaged their cloaking device and headed out into space. They felt that was the safest thing to do with FOH on their heels. Shaman communicated to me that he does not think FOH followed them into space. However, he is uncertain."

"But if they're cloaked….?" I began.

"Northstar was concerned that their shuttle might be leaking ion. They lack the equipment on board the shuttle to detect it." The Professor looked intently at his monitor. "These are the coordinates Shaman tells me they are at. Our sensors do not detect any FOH ships in their immediate area."

Jubilee pressed a few buttons on her console. "It doesn't look like they're leaking ion either."

"I think they are safe," the Professor said, looking relieved.

"So will we rendezvous with them on the way to earth?"

"Yes. If all goes according to schedule, we will pick them up in about a week."

"We need all the help we can get," Jubilee summarized.

After a very intense morning of training, I was sitting back on one of the benches, trying to get my breathing and heart rate down to normal. I had fought very well and felt satisfied.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched an interaction taking place in the gym. Marrow had been part of our training group that morning and, as she often did, she wanted some additional training time. Looks like she and Wolverine agreed to engage in some one-on-one fighting. I watched their struggle, best I could from across the gym. She was definitely a formidable opponent. Because her mutation involved breaking off her bones and using them as weapons, without a weapon she really could fight only at close range. That would be tough, I speculated. I loved having the ability to shoot out ice from my fingers---I could immobilize people from long distances, which really helped and I didn't need a rifle. Wolverine and the others had been training me to fight at close range, but who could blame me for preferring to keep some distance between me and the enemy?

I had been looking away from a bit when I heard yelling from the other end of the gym. Marrow and Wolverine were shouting at each other, both screaming loud enough to wake the dead. I shrugged and stayed where I was----those two were the last ones I'd try to break up from fighting. I heard Wolverine yell at her something like, "You go too far!" which was pretty amazing, coming from him. What I could infer from my vantage point was that she had used some dishonorable tactics during their fight and he was pissed about that.

When they were done yelling, they went back to hand-to-hand combat. He defeated her. They later walked past me on the way to the locker rooms, and I noticed Marrow giving him a look….it was a look that seemed to convey respect. It amazed me, but I guess you learn something new every day.

The days passed and the X-men continued to get closer and closer to earth. And Gambit was starting to feel some frustration. `Maybe Gambit was wrong to propose to Rogue at dis time,' he thought to himself. He didn't at all question the proposal---he knew he wanted to be married to her very, very much. But he now questioned the **timing** of the proposal.

"What's wrong wit' me, chere?" Gambit asked one evening over dinner. The couple had elected to dine together in their room so they could have some quiet time together. The cozy room was cramped with the addition of the table and two chairs, but it all fit.

"I can tell you're gettin' tired, Remy," Rogue said softly. "You haven't seemed quite yourself, sugar, these last coupla days." She gently placed one of her gloved hands over his.

Gambit looked down at his food. He sighed. "Gambit loved bein' an X-man dese last few years. I feel good 'bout everyt'ing I've done wit' the X-men over the years. But…." His voice trailed off.

"But what, Remy?" she prompted.

"Sometimes Gambit don't feel like he wants to be rescuin' mutants or fighting FOH. Lately I been wishing we back on dat moon, planning a weddin' and havin' children."

Rogue smiled. "Oh, sweetie," she said, getting up and placing her hands on Remy's shoulders. "I can't blame ya at all. We're all workin' so hard."

"Gambit don't blame Scott and Jean at all for what they be doin'. Seems dey got it good."

"They do," Rogue admitted, "but you gotta think they're real busy too, with that baby and all those mutants they're takin' care of too."

"It was hard to be on An'zhina for a week enjoying dat beautiful moon and gettin' engaged and havin' fun. And now we get back out here, back to training, back to havin' to t'ink `bout Friends of Humanity."

Rogue nodded. "It is tough. I'd rather be swimmin on An'zhina or be back on the top of that hill where you proposed to me. But we can do it, Remy. Think of all the good we're doing the world. Think of the mutants we're rescuing."

"I know, chere. I know. But Gambit want to t'ink dat someday soon we have what Scott and Jean do. Have some time on An'zhina to take a break from dis schedule and to have kids. Raise a family, spend time wit' each other."

"We'll have that some day, Remy." Rogue was focussed on trying to lift Gambit's mood. Not wanting to burden his mind any more, she did not betray her fear that she would never be able to bear a child. "We'll have it. Just for now we gotta stay focussed on freeing the mutants." She continued to rub his shoulders, trying to help him feel less tense.

"But we been fightin; for so long, Rogue. We spend so much of our lives on de run and fightin' battles. Gambit tired of fightin' and he don't like trainin' the new mutants either. Dat Marrow be a handful!"

Rogue smiled. She knew Marrow had been getting on Gambit's nerves lately. Marrow's often abrasive personality was a challenge to deal with. "At least some of the new recruits have good fighting spirit," Rogue said, trying to cheer him. "Like Marrow might be pretty annoying but I gotta admire her guts. She ain't lost her spunk."

Gambit shook his head. "She jus' want revenge. All she talk `bout is killing FOH soldiers."

"Can't say I blame her, "Rogue said, shrugging. "I sure wouldn't mind inflicting some pain on them."

Gambit turned his head and looked into her emerald eyes. "Really?"

"Of course, really! After working with those camp survivors those weeks I just feel more and more like we're way too kind and gentle with FOH."

Remy tried to select his words carefully. "Gambit share your anger but….."  


"But what, Swamp Rat?"

"But killing is wrong. Gambit don't feel right `bout killing dem. It jus' bring us down to deir level."

Rogue dropped her hands from Gambit's shoulders and sat back down in her seat. "You felt otherwise with those soldiers we killed on this ship. What's the difference?"

After a pause, Gambit finally answered, :"Gambit don't know. I ask myself dat every now and den during the pas' two years."

"I haven't thought about it much at all," she said truthfully. "I was so angry then….." her voice trailed off too.

"Gambit angry den too. Gambit never been so furious in his life as he was back den. And back den, killing dem seem like the right thing to do, no question `bout it. So I don't know what the difference is, chere. But we're X-men, chere. Killing people is wrong."

Rogue shook her head. "I dunno Remy. FOH don't think twice 'bout killing and raping and torturing our people. If I accidentally kill one or two FOH-ers in combat during our next rescue mission, I can honestly say I won't feel one twinge of guilt." She paused. "Now Marrow wants them to suffer and that's a different thing, I guess. Even the thought of that, though, don't bother me much."

"It bother Gambit," he said, after mulling over it for a minute. "Dey human beings too. If we be okay with killin' and torturin' FOH, den what's the difference between us and Magneto?"

"I dunno, Remy. Maybe you can't feel as strongly as I do cause you weren't raped and you didn't spend every day for 5 weeks workin' with these girls who survived it." She said the words without anger or malice, but her aggravation towards Gambit was growing just as she sensed that his mood was not elevated at all.

"Rogue, now dat ain't fair. I know I didn't suffer the same way you or the other ladies did but dat don't mean I'm not as outraged 'bout it as you are. But if we go around killin' FOH soldiers, we bring ourselves down to deir level. We gotta show to ourselves dat we better dan dat, we above dat. Livin' for revenge is a terrible way to live. Ask Warren."

Rogue shrugged, looking down at her dinner. It no longer looked appetizing to her. She wasn't in the mood to continue debating either. "Well, maybe we just gonna agree to disagree on this one, Remy."

"I guess so, chere."

The frustration Gambit had had when he began dinner was not at all abated. Now he knew discussing it with Rogue wasn't going to help, either. How could she support killing FOH soldiers? Wasn't that attitude the one that the X-men had battled against Magneto for so many years? Or was this a concession that Magneto had been right all along and was now gloating from his grave? But no, no….killing and torturing FOH soldiers would not bring back any of the mutants they had killed nor would it erase the torture they had inflicted. Xavier always pushed Gambit—and all the X-men--- to be his best, to do the right thing. Was Rogue now abandoning that quest for goodness?

During the past few years, Rogue had become fairly comfortable asking Jean for relationship advice. One idea Jean had suggested rang in Rogue's ears: never go to bed angry. Yet she and Gambit, when done picking at their dinner, had muttered `goodnights' to each other and slept on their own sides of the bed.

"I hear we meet up with Alpha Flight soon," Colossus said. We were sitting at lunch one day, at a table along with Wolverine, Jubilee, Nightcrawler, Psylocke and Angel. It was odd to be in the huge mess hall, only the seven of us sitting at one long table and no one else milling around. Psylocke was very quiet during the whole lunch and for the past few weeks, she had seemed disinterested in almost everything. Angel sat next to her as always. Neither of them spoke much. I knew the Professor was continuing to work with Psylocke on a daily basis, but just from glancing at Warren it was easy to tell that the results were not happening as quickly as he wanted.

"It should be interesting with Alpha Flight here," Nightcrawler said in his thickly accented but quietly clipped German tone. "We need all the help we can get." He took a bite of his sandwich and then turned towards Wolverine. "What are they like, Logan? You used to work with them."

"The rest of us meet them for little bit when they on our ship after we rescued them," Colossus said.

Wolverine nodded. "They weren't really themselves then."

I nodded. "They were all pretty traumatized."

"I can't even imagine," Jubilee said, shaking her head. "With all of their team except those three killed. How heartbreaking."

I was glad she didn't pursue that line of memories. Instead, Wolverine spoke. "I can tell you what I remember of `em. But it's been a long time since I was in Alpha Flight."

He tilted his head back slightly and seemed to be reminiscing. "Shaman was real quiet and serious. You could always count on him to get the job done. Can't say I knew him well though. Northstar was arrogant and full o' himself. He could be a jerk but he always did the right thing in the end. I liked him. His sister was hard to get to know….she was different almost each time you saw her."

"I wonder how much their experience has changed them," Kurt said.

Jubilee nodded. "Who knows? We're not the same people we were two years ago because of everything we've lived through." She looked around the table. "Hey, Wolvie, pass me the salt."

I inwardly chuckled at Jubilee always getting away with calling him "Wolvie." It truly looked like nothing in their relationship had changed since her "indecent proposal" and all was well. I was still floored that she asked him. I gotta admire her guts. Deep down, I really wondered: had he even considered it? Or had he rejected the idea right away? I would've liked to have been a fly on that wall!

We continued to chat away at the lunch table. Interestingly, during the past few weeks, the conversation had rarely turned towards what awaited us on earth. Or at least, I hadn't really discussed it much with anyone. But I felt all the training had paid off, and that I was strong and could handle anything.

Several X-men worked at their training in the Danger Room. "Got you!" were the words Wolverine heard as he found the steel giant that was Colossus crash into him and smother him in a bear hug as Wolverine's hands were enveloped in a solid block of ice. Momentarily unable to extend his claws, Wolverine had to admit to defeat at the hands of Colossus and Iceman, as the Russian pinned him to the ground.

Wolverine knew why he had lost that bout. His mind was anywhere but on training. It was instead on the white-haired woman who was facing off against Gambit and Nightcrawler on the other side of the gym.

The minute their session was over, Wolverine followed Storm as the weather witch headed for a changing screen in the women's locker room. "Storm!" he breathed, placing his arms around her.

Inwardly, Storm chuckled. `I may never possess his heart, but his body cannot resist me!' she told herself, even as she knew that was no longer sufficient. She felt Wolverine's breath at her neck, his tongue striking out to lap at the base of her neck and nibble on her ear. He exhaulted in the slightly salty taste of her skin and her perspiration from her intense workout. His frantic hands touched her, rubbed her through her clothing. He cupped her breasts, squeezing and stroking. A whispered plea, "Please?"

Storm tilted her head back. She knew he would stop the instant she said no. But she also knew the magic he was able to work on her body. "Yes," she answered him, turning around to face Logan.

Their sex was frenzied and wild that day. Neither wished to leave the locker room area, even though they could be walked in on at any time. Storm though it unlikely, though given that Rogue was on bridge duty and Jubilee and Marrow were now training in the Danger Room. Of course their session could end at any time and…..Storm reached a point where she did not care.

Wolverine literally ripped off her clothing which fell to her feet in shreds. He brought his fingers to her core and rubbed, stroked and probed until her natural wetness bedewed his fingers. Logan then opened his pants and pulled out his throbbing member, already dripping sweet pre-cum.

Storm glanced at their immediate surroundings, wondering what position they….when Wolverine backed her against a wall and hoisted her up. She placed her arms around his shoulders, her long legs wrapped around his waist and they fucked standing up, against the wall. Storm moaned as she felt the beautiful tension build up with each powerful stroke of his cock. Hot, hard and wet were the only sensations she cared about. "Yes, Logan….yeees," she urged him on as his hips moved at a more frantic pace. They both cried out as they reached a crescendo together.

Wolverine was so wrapped up in his pleasure that he either did not notice or did not care that they weren't alone. Bobby occasionally changed in the women's locker room when no one else was using it as changing around other men still brought up issues for him. He watched the couple, stroking himself, feverishly wishing he could be in Storm's place.

Later that day, Rogue caught up with Wolverine during the Canadian's bridge duty shift. She had to talk to him about something. Knowing that Logan liked to beat around the bush even less than she did, Rogue got right to the point.

"Do you ever regret what we did to the FOH soldiers on this ship?"

Wolverine looked at her. She had taken a seat next to him and was studying his features. "I mean, " Rogue went on, "do you ever wonder whether we did the right thing or if we were maybe wrong to kill them….and to hurt them before?"

Wolverine shook his head. "No. I ain't thought much about it. They got what they deserved." Why the hell did Rogue have to bring this up? Killing the soldiers had not haunted him one bit. However, what FOH did to deserve it greatly disturbed him whenever he thought of it. For a man who had seen much brutality in his lifetime, he had never really gotten over the sight of Jubilee when the soldiers had thrown her into their cell----her bruised and battered young body. `Those goddamn bastards,' Logan thought, `to inflict so much pain on a child who never did anything to them….' Other memories invaded his mind----the soldiers bragging about how much the women were crying and screaming. He shut his eyes and tried to erase the memories. There was never any question in his mind that executing the FOH soldiers had been the just and fair thing to do.

"I don't either," Rogue said. "I don't regret it. Sometimes I wonder….if I should though."

"Chuck would probably say we should," Wolverine stated flatly. It came out sounding harsher than he had intended, but Logan was not one to retract his words. He did not mean the comment to sound bitter towards Xavier.

"Yeah, I know. Oh well. What's done is done, right?" As abruptly as she had entered the bridge, Rogue left. Her own duty shift would start in a couple hours.

`What would Jean do?" that was the question Rogue had had on her mind almost all day. She and Remy had barely said two words to each other during breakfast or during training. He had not visited her, as he almost always did, during her bridge shift. And although she didn't care for some of the opinions he had expressed the night before, she was starting to miss him!

`Okay, Jean once told me that she and Scott **do** have occasional disagreements,' Rogue told herself. `Though I still kinda find that hard to believe. But what would Jean do now? Is it time to just eat crow and admit I miss him?' She would have loved to run this one by Storm but was not in the mood for recounting their argument.

Finally, Rogue settled on the direct approach. The next time she saw Gambit making his way down the hall, she threw her arms around him and said, "I miss you, Remy!"

Gambit smiled and laughed as he picked her up and spun her around. "Miss you too, chere."

"You know, we don't have to agree on everything," Rogue said, grinning.

"It would be boring if we did," Gambit conceded. "Den we'd be too much like…." He let his voice trail off, as they were in the middle of a main hallway and anyone could walk by. "….another couple," Gambit finished, smirking.

Rogue returned his mischievous smile. She added, "Though, you know, I heard they disagree at times too. In fact, Jean told me so."

"No!" Gambit said, pretending to be stunned. They laughed together, arm in arm, and headed back for their room.

Back on An'zhina, Scott came up with a brilliant idea. One evening, he had been sharing with some of the others tales of his years with the X-men.

"Where are Shadowcat and Morph?" one man asked innocently, after Scott had recounted an adventure that had involved them both.

"They were both killed when the Friends of Humanity destroyed the mansion," Scott said solemnly. He was able to remember them without feeling too much pain, though their loss still hurt him. He was just glad that those who were closest to him had survived.

The others then asked a lot about them, as well as about Banshee and others who had been killed. An idea popped into his mind and Scott mused aloud, "There should be a monument to them here on An'zhina. So that we make sure we won't forget them, and all the others who died in our struggle."

One man who had been in that conversation used to be a builder. He and Scott got to talking and then to gathering the supplies they would need. The very next day, anyone who was interested was given a role to play in the construction of a memorial. Jean suggested the memorial be created in honor of all the mutants who died at the face of prejudice. They then could include names and information about those they had known, such as Kitty.

With each passing day, more and more citizens of An'zhina wanted to be involved in this project. After not long, it seemed that everyone was working on it in one way or another. It proved a wonderful unifier for the people of An'zhina.

Jean had worked on the design of the monument too. Exhausted as she was with her work, she was cheered in the results. Many of the women were gradually getting better; she could see the progress. One of the women had been an artist and was leading the others in a sort of art therapy class. Meanwhile, Jean and Scott eager awaited their second baby. Their days were busy and full, but enjoyable too.

"We will be within transporter range in 10 minutes," Storm said, sitting in the captain's chair on the bridge.

"Is everything ready for the transport, Wolverine?" the Professor asked. He sat next to Storm on the bridge.

"Ready," he grunted via the intercom, standing at the controls in transporter room three.

The X-men had elected to beam on board the shuttle containing the members of Alpha Flight, rather than arranging for the shuttle to dock. As both vessels were cloaked, beaming the shuttle on board would be far easier.

"I am sensing six people on board the shuttle," the Professor said. Storm furrowed her brow, quizzically. Mentally, she counted down: Jeanne-Marie, Northstar, Shaman, Shaman's wife, and their daughter. Who was the sixth person?

Meanwhile, most of the rest of the X-men stood in the shuttle bay, preparing to meet the members of Alpha Flight and show them around. However, they all knew that there would not be a great deal of time for socializing and "catching up" ---they continued to get closer and closer to earth and knew the next battle with FOH loomed ahead.

"I've locked on their shuttle," Wolverine said. "I'm beamin' it aboard."

As the X-men watched, the shuttle crystalized inside the large bay. With the cloaking device turned off, the shuttle was placed in exactly the same spot it had occupied almost two years ago when Alpha Flight had departed in it.

The doors to the shuttle opened, and Shaman was the first to descend the shuttle's small staircase, several bags in hand. A Native woman and a girl of about 11 soon followed. Northstar exited the shuttle after them, carrying a bag over his shoulder. Psylocke stifled a gasp when she saw him; no one had mentioned to her that FOH had chopped off one of Northstar's arms. His left shirt sleeve hung limply at his side, unoccupied. Finally, Jeanne-Marie followed her brother, holding onto the hand of a squirming 7 year old boy.

Introductions were made all around. Shaman's wife was named Silver Moon and their daughter was called Lily Pearl. The sixth traveler was Jeanne-Marie's son, Stephan. Several of the X-men had to bite their tongues to keep from inquiring about Stephan. Cerebro II had revealed to them, months ago, that the boy's paternal grandparents were raising him and that his mother had been stripped of all custody and visitation rights for being a mutant. From the second Stephan stepped off the shuttle, it was clear that he detested his surroundings, as he complained to his mother. "I wanna go home!" and "I hate it here!" were phrases he continually whined. "I want to be back with grandma and grandpa!" he yelled at one point. Jeanne-Marie wearily hushed him best she could.

Many X-men began to speculate that Stephan's paternal grandparents had probably not consented to hand the boy over to his mother. `I should give them the benefit of the doubt though,' Storm reminded herself. `Perhaps the grandparents have passed away.' But she knew given the climate on earth, it was unlikely that Jeanne-Marie, a mutant and former member of Alpha Flight, would ever have been given custody no matter what might have happened to the grandparents.

The X-men escorted the Alpha Flight survivors to their rooms where they could deposit their meager belongings, and then led them on a tour of the ship. Shaman and Northstar both appeared in relatively good spirits, as well as could be expected, at least. Both men expressed desire to learn as much as possible about the ship functions. Jeanne-Marie was quite distracted and appeared disinterested.

"This is our reconstructed Danger Room" the Professor said, when they had reached the section of the gym that they had remodeled so long ago.

"How does it compare to the first one?" Shaman asked.

"It is not as complex or as thorough as its predecessor," Hank said. "But it is more than adequate."

"I look forward to using it," Northstar said.

"As do I," Shaman added.

Before the tour ended, the X-men were thanked profusely by Alpha Flight for rescuing them so long ago as well as for taking them in again. Shaman and Northstar reiterated that they would be glad to serve alongside the X-men in whatever way possible.

My heart had barely stopped thumping during our reunion with Alpha Flight. Just seconds after he stepped off the shuttle, Northstar and I had made eye contact.

I was flustered. I don't know why. And I couldn't think of what to say. It was kind of awkward because even though the shuttle bay was huge, there were more than a dozen warm bodies milling around. After introductions were made, we all fell into step behind the Professor's hover chair as he led us.

Northstar was standing next to me and still looking at me. I wanted to say something to him, but `Hi, how are you?' would have been lame. So I asked him if I could take his bag. I didn't want to focus on the disability that he now had, but he was missing a limb and I imagined he might want assistance. "I have a few other bags inside the shuttle. Maybe you could take those," he said, continuing to look intently at me. My heart kept dancing. His French accent was charming. I dashed inside the shuttle and hoisted several bags over my shoulders and in my arms.

All during the tour, Northstar and I kept exchanging glances. How could I have been so blasé about him last time he was aboard the ship? The man was beautiful. He had features like a story book elf, high and tapered. Yet masculine too. His eyes were delightful, especially the way they continued to gaze at me. I took a peek at his pointy ears which had escaped my notice before. I thought they were enchanting. His hair was black, with several shimmering white streaks throughout. Despite the missing arm, his build was muscular and powerful, while he also possessed grace. He moved sinuously, with the poise and presence of a dancer. He was a few inches taller than me, maybe six feet tall.

I wondered over and over again what I looked like to him. I'd always thought I was a good looking guy. But I don't have the ethereal beauty that Northstar has.

All too soon though, the tour was over. All the members of Alpha Flight said they could use some rest; even that whiny kid of Northstar's sister seemed wiped out. And my bridge duty shift was to begin in ten minutes, so I had to head on up to the bridge.

Usually during my turn at bridge duty, I play video games while simultaneously monitoring the different consoles. This time, I just stared at the screens and tried to force myself to pay attention to the various blimps that indicated normality. Yet every few seconds, my thoughts drifted back to a gentle but strong man with hair streaked white. My on-going lust for Wolverine had somehow vanished in the space of a few minutes. I wished Jubilee or Hank would magically appear on the bridge so I could share this with someone. Jubilee had been noticing how Northstar and I were noticing each other….what was keeping her from getting up here??

I checked my watch. One hour crept by at a snail's pace. Then a second hour. Damn. I still had three more hours until Marrow was scheduled to relieve me.

After an eternity, I heard the hum of the doors moving aside. `Jubilee's finally made it!' I thought to myself. I looked over my shoulder at the only entrance to the bridge.

It was Northstar.

"Hello, mon ami," he said to me. "I thought I would come up here and take another look at the main bridge." His face was placid but with a slight smile.

"Of course," I said. Okay that was pathetic. I scoured my mind trying to think of something intelligent to say. "You're not tired after your long journey?" Help!

"I took a nap and I'm fine now," he said. He didn't look like one who had just woken up though; his hair was combed and not one of those gorgeous locks was out of place. His eyes didn't look tired either….in fact, they looked engaged. "It is good to be in a room with a lot of space to move around in, after spending so long cooped up in that shuttle with five other people."

"I would imagine that would be hard. Our shuttles aren't very big."

"I've survived worse," he said nonchalantly. He looked around the bridge. "So perhaps you can show me some of the controls? I want to learn how things work here."

"I'd be glad to," I said. Northstar took a seat at the first officer's chair, right next to the captain's seat that I was occupying. I forced my brain to get in gear. "Perhaps I should first give you an overview of what all the controls are, and then I can teach you how to work each one."

Northstar nodded, leaning forward in his seat and looking at me.

"Well, this set of controls works the shields, and this set works the weaponry," I began, pointing at various buttons and switches as I spoke. "All of these controls are duplicated at the other stations too, so you see **there's** where those controls are at the first officer's station, where you're sitting now. Now here is the set of controls that deals with engine functions---though it's better to work with the engines from the engine room itself, but in case of an emergency, you can control those functions from here. These buttons here are the intercom and this…."

So we continued on. For nearly an hour, we were all down to business. He really wanted to learn this stuff, and as we X-men had discovered almost two years ago, controlling the ship's functions on Freedom was fairly simple.

I did notice that Jean-Paul (he asked me to call him Jean-Paul, rather than `Northstar') was visibly frustrated a few times. Given the absence of one of his arms, there were a few things he could not do and several things were awkward for him. I certainly couldn't blame him for getting frustrated since I couldn't imagine missing an arm myself, but I did think it a bit odd given that it had been a long time since FOH had chopped the limb off. I just thought he would have been more accustomed to living without it by then.

"Well that was a good introduction to the ship functions. But perhaps enough for today, eh?" he said.

"Yes," I said.

"So, when is your shift over with?"

I looked at my watch. "I have another two hours and fifteen minutes."

"Do you care for some company?" he asked, as I'd dearly hoped he would.

"Yes!" I said eagerly. I realized I probably sounded a bit too eager. "Bridge duty gets so boring."

"I would imagine." He looked around the room, surveying it. His gaze fixated in the direction of the large picture window. "Beautiful view of the stars from here." He went up towards the window to get a better look. I remained in my chair. My, he looked good from the back!

"Yes. I sometimes find it relaxing to come up here and just look out into space."

There was a long pause. Jean-Paul then turned back towards me. "Bobby, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Not at all."

"Please don't be offended if I am wrong here, but are you gay?"

"Yes, I am." Just breathe normally, don't appear too eager, just stay calm.

"I thought that's what my gaydar sensed! But I didn't want to assume. How interesting! I have always wanted to meet another gay mutant!"

"Me too," I said. "I don't know of any others, except Marrow."

"The girl with the bones sticking out?"

I nodded.

Northstar then walked back to the seat next to mine, and we spent the rest of my shift talking. In fact, I totally forgot to even look at the monitors for a while, which was really bad. Fortunately, Jean-Paul reminded me to, and from then on we were dutiful.

"So…when did you know?" I asked him.

"You mean, that I was gay or that I was a mutant?" he asked. We both smiled. He went on, "Yes, it's funny, isn't it? We have to come out both as gay and as a mutant. But for me, I think I've known that I was gay ever since I was a child. I didn't know that I was a mutant until much later because none of my powers manifested themselves until I was about 14."

"Wow---same for me!"

"Really?" he asked, leaning forward in his seat.

So on and on we went, sharing our coming out stories, whether it meant coming out as gay and as mutants. "I never had a real problem with accepting my sexuality," he was saying at one point. "My parents knew and accepted it. They were circus performers and I was raised among circus performers---a group of social outcasts. My parents were friends with one of our fellow performers, Raymonde. He was an older man and gay too. When I told my parents I was gay, they said I should go talk to Raymonde. What a wonderful man he was---he helped me learn to accept myself, to deal with it. He taught me ways to deal with straight peoples' prejudice."

"Wow, you are so lucky, Jean-Paul," I said.

He must have noticed the look of pain on my face. I hated that those bad memories could still impact me after so many years, but they did.

"I sense you did not have it as easy, Bobby," he said. He asked me about it.

I told him my story. How my mother had found those magazines in my room one day, and had told my father right away. How my father had beaten me within an inch of my life, and then disowned me. I lived with an Aunt for a week before I struck out on my own, using the money I'd saved from my after-school job for a bus ride to New York. Just weeks later, I accidentally used my then-uncontrolled mutant powers in public. "I thank god, I thank my lucky stars, I thank every power that exists that Professor Charles Xavier had been on the crowded street when I used my powers," I recounted. "He approached me and asked if I wanted to attend a school for the gifted, a school where I could learn to use those powers. My life began then."

"How old did you say you were then?"

"Seventeen."

Jean-Paul and I continued to talk, words easily spilling out of our mouths. It was one of those instances when you meet someone special and you simultaneously want to hear every word they have to say but also share everything about your life with them. I could tell he felt the same way. He listened very well when I spoke but also was eager to share.

I told him of how I used to date women when I was in my late teens and early twenties. "I knew I was gay," I said. "But I wanted to give heterosexuality a chance. I wanted to be able to say that I at least **tried.** But I just wasn't attracted to women."

He nodded. He had told me earlier that never dated or went to bed with a woman. "So what did you find when you went out with women?" he asked.

"Um, I found that I didn't like it at all. I found that I was terrible in bed with women." He and I shared a smile over that. "I never had any clue on how to make a woman come!" I went on. "I knew from talking to other guys and I heard that there was this thing called a clitoris that I was supposed to find and stimulate. But I could **never** find the darn thing! I looked and looked but didn't find it." He and I were cracking up at that point. "Men are so much easier!"

He later told an interesting story. He was one of the original members of Alpha Flight (just as I was one of the first X-men), and just a few weeks after they began training together, Alpha Flight was in a jet, zooming towards their first mission. "I was shaking in my skin, I was so afraid," he said. "I was terrified of going on that mission and facing the bad guys. And even though I'd been trained well, I was frantically trying to think of a way to get out of going on that mission or getting off that jet. So I stood up in the middle and announced to the team that I was gay. It was a surprise for most of them since none of us had known each other for long. So everyone sat there with their mouths open. Me, I had been hoping that Sasquatch would beat the crap out of me so I wouldn't have to go on that mission!" We laughed together over that. "As it turned out, Walter became a great friend. And no one on the team ever really gave me a hard time for being gay."

"No one on the X-men has ever bothered me about it either," I said. "Though sometimes you can tell if someone's attitude towards homosexuality in general is not very good." I was, of course, thinking of Scott and Warren.

We kept on taking, as the minutes sped by like grains of sand escaping through a sifter. "Why didn't we hook up like this the first time you were on board Freedom?" I asked.

Jean-Paul smiled, but then looked down as a more solemn expression washed over his features. "You know, I was too traumatized back then to even think straight. I'd just survived torture and watching my sister and my teammates be tortured and most of them killed….."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I shouldn't have brought up these memories."

"No, no, it's ok. Nothing I haven't been dealing with for the past two years. But I wasn't in the mental condition then to be interested in meeting new people. Besides, all I could think of was returning to earth and to Phillippe."

I nodded. Jean-Paul had already shared with me that he and Phillippe had been together for three years. As we X-men had learned a few months ago, Phillippe---as well as Jeanne-Marie's husband----had been killed by FOH the night Alpha Flight was abducted. "I've been spending all this time trying to adapt to life without him…..it is very hard. He and I were very much in love."

I again told him I was sorry for his loss. He reached for the hand I had gently placed on his shoulder and lightly squeezed it. "Thank you, mon ami. I appreciate it." Jean-Paul added one more thing to his account of the last time he had been on board Freedom. "You know, I didn't approach you for all those reasons, and also because at the time I wasn't really sure that you were gay. After we left for earth, I thought back to you and wondered. But," he added, "I had thought that perhaps you and Henry McCoy were a couple."

I smiled, "Hank and I? Nah….we're best friends but we've never been anything more. And never will be."

The doors to the bridge whooshed aside though Jean-Paul and I had barely noticed it. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, boys," Marrow said, standing in the doorway, smirking.

I looked at my watch. "Hey, you're late! By almost twenty minutes."

She shrugged. "You sure didn't seem to notice."

Jean-Paul and I stood up, and Marrow took her place at the captain's chair. Jean-Paul and I left the bridge. "Are you hungry?" I asked. "It will be dinner time on this ship in about ten minutes."

"I am hungry," he said.

"We mostly eat replicated stuff but we often throw in some of the vegetables from my garden." I had told him about the gardening I had been doing and he was impressed.

"The real stuff always tastes better than the replicated. How wonderful that you are a gardener!"

"Would you like to eat together? I mean, not in the mess hall with the others but maybe we could find a conference room to eat in. That way, we could keep talking in peace and quiet."

"I would love to," he said, smiling.

Most of the X-men, along with Shaman, Silver Moon, and Lily Pearl were milling about the mess hall. Each person lined up with their tray, pressed a few buttons on the food replicator to acquire a meal, and then sat down at the long table to eat. A huge salad featuring real vegetables from Bobby's garden had been served at lunch, and a tiny amount was left-over. It was hastily grabbed by the first two attendees at dinner up before any of the others could get to it.

Jubilee sat next to the Professor and across from Moira. She chatted away amicably, reminding Moira of how Siryn had been. Moira loved the young woman's spirit. Jubilee turned her head when she saw Iceman and Northstar enter the room.

Bobby assisted Northstar with his tray, piling most of Northstar's food onto his own so that the tray would be more manageable for a man with one arm. He did it naturally and without comment.

"Where are you guys going?" Jubilee asked, when she saw Bobby and Northstar heading back for the door, their trays in hand.

"Yeah, what's wrong? We showered today!" Rogue said, grinning.

Bobby smiled. "We're just going to take this to go," he said.

Gambit raised his eyebrows as the two men left the room. Several looks were exchanged around the table. "You guys…." Rogue began, "do y'all think Bobby could be….on a date?!"

Our dinner conversation was much like our bridge conversation, except I kept praying that there was no food stuck in my teeth. We sat in one of the small meeting rooms. Much of our dinner remained uneaten because we preferred to talk.

When we first sat down, I asked Jean-Paul if he needed help cutting any of his food. He smiled a forced smile. "I do not like to depend on others for things like this, but I must admit that I could use your help." So I gladly cut up his food for him.

We didn't talk a lot about his missing arm though, because it was obvious he did not wish to dwell on that subject. It clearly made him uncomfortable. I suggested that he might want to broach the topic with Professor X, given that Xavier had lost the use of his legs but had managed to adapt anyway. Jean-Paul didn't seem overly interested in that idea, but he did brighten considerably when I told him that perhaps the Endarians would find a way to get him a working arm.

So we kept on talking, describing our years and years with the X-men and Alpha Flight respectively. We spoke a lot about the events of the past two years. He was very entranced with my tales about the Paradise planet and the Endarians. I soaked up every detail of his last year and a half, which had been immensely hectic for him, as he'd been constantly on the run, trying to evade FOH.

After we ate dinner, Jean-Paul and I spent some time taking a walk around the ship. We then walked back to the personnel quarters. He was still learning his way about the ship and I wanted to make sure he found his way back to his room. So we paused outside his door.

I asked, "Do you want to come in to my room for a bit? I – uh—have really enjoyed talking with you."

"I've enjoyed it too, Bobby," he said, that endearing smile on his face. "But I had better check on my sister. And my nephew. She has her hands full and she could probably use my help." We had not discussed Jean-Paul's nephew at great length, but he did share with me that he and Jeanne-Marie had basically abducted Stephan from the boy's grandparents. I held back from passing any judgment on that, but Jean-Paul let me know that the boy was not happy to be back with his mutant mother. That much had been obvious from the moment the child stepped off the shuttle. Also, from the brief mentions Jean-Paul had made of his sister during our conversations that day, it sounded as if Jeanne-Marie was quite depressed.

"Of course," I said.

He reached with his one arm and touched my shoulder. "But how about a kiss?" he asked, his eyebrows raised slightly.

My heart jumped up into my throat. I quickly looked around to ensure we were alone in the hall. Then Jean-Paul and I stepped together and brushed our lips together. The kiss lasted a mere second, and I so much craved more. Dear god it's been so long. I stepped towards him for a second one, but he backed away. He then just smiled sweetly. "See you tomorrow, Bobby."

I said something, can't remember what, and went away from there grinning like an idiot.

Hank and Panda were sitting in her room, quietly discussing the day's events. Panda sat on Hank's lap. The two scarcely fit on the largest chair Hank had been able to find on board the ship, but they made it work. As they spoke, they occasionally kissed and they casually scratched each other's fur---a sensation they both enjoyed greatly.

As Hank enjoyed Panda's company, he mulled over the same questions that ran through his head virtually every time they were together like this. `Is now a good time? No—maybe she would have said something if tonight was going to be our night. But can I truly be certain of that? Maybe I should ask somehow? But how would I do that? Perhaps the time is not right. Maybe she would prefer to wait until we are returning to An'zhina. But why would she prefer that? However, I should not broach this topic with her lest I be pressuring her. I cannot pressure her at all in this way given what she has been through. She should be the one to initiate anything beyond the affectionate---but non-sexual--- activities we have already been engaging in. So perhaps it is best to wait and do nothing. I guess. Oh---would that I had Gambit's instincts!'

Suddenly, their time together was interrupted by pounding on the door.

As Bobby knocked on the door, for a split second he flashbacked to the incident where Jubilee had nearly walked in on Scott and Jean. But Bobby had never considered that Hank and Panda had become lovers yet. A few weeks ago, he had casually asked Hank, "Did you get laid yet?" Needless to say, his best friend was not thrilled with the manner in which the question had been asked, and Bobby had not been surprised when the answer had been negative.

"Come in, Bobby," Hank said, after Bobby had identified himself via the communicator. Panda got up from Hank's lap and sat herself in the second chair in the room.

"Guess what you guys?!" Bobby said, charging in. "Northstar and I kissed!!!!"

Panda couldn't help but to laugh at Bobby's flailing arms, wide eyes, and the way in which he looked like he was going to begin jumping up and down. "That is wonderful, Bobby," Hank said.

"You and Northstar were the talk at dinner tonight," Panda added.

"Really?" Bobby asked.

"Well, everyone saw you two going off, you guys didn't seem at all interested in any of our company….we all went `hmmmm….."

"Oh, you guys, Jean-Paul is so **cool**! We had so much to talk about. So much in common! We've been talking together non-stop since half way through my bridge duty shift. We…." For the next half hour, Bobby went on to relay to Hank and Panda virtually everything Northstar had told him earlier that day of the French-Canadian man's history. "….he has an Olympic bronze medal in skiing….he grew up in a circus and used to be an acrobat…..he can fly and run at super-speed….He's **so cute**!" (At that last bit, Hank silently mused that perhaps Bobby had not matured that much since his teenage days after all.)

"I am very happy for you," Hank said, sincerely. It would never occur to him to be jealous, just as Bobby would never conceive that he'd need to worry about Hank being jealous.

After talking at super-speed, Bobby said, "Well, I gotta go! I'd better share this with Jubilee right away. It was nice talking to you though!

Hank and Panda looked at each other and exchanged a patient smile. Bobby exited the room.

"Oh, Bobby, you're so lucky!" Jubilee said. "Northstar is so handsome!"

"I know!" I said. "But that's not the only reason I like him, of course. He and I have so much in common. He knows what it's like to be gay and a mutant." I elaborated on Jean-Paul's attributes. After a bit, I worried that I was boring her. Then I realized what it was. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jubilee. You're sad that you don't have anyone."

She sat there and shrugged. "Story of my life. I'm not gonna worry about it right now. What's the point of just making myself all bummed out?"

"That's the attitude!" I said. I tried to sound positive, but I really was sad for her. I felt my mood decelerating a bit, too. It was a little hard to be happy when a dear friend is obviously not. And unfortunately, I didn't have much I could offer her by way of comfort. I just reminded her that she is attractive, sweet, and lots of fun to be with, and that sooner or later she would find someone awesome. She seemed unconvinced though.

The rest of the trip to earth just zoomed by for me. I couldn't believe it when we X-men were all called to the bridge as the Professor announced we were mere hours away from our home planet.

Jean-Paul and I spent as much time together during the week or so leading up to that as possible. We both trained in the Danger Room (although….well, I had taken to showing up late for training sessions and such), and he spent a lot of time with his sister and nephew though. But each day we spent several hours together. A couple of times, he and I had dinner with Hank and Panda (and Hank and I would joke together afterwards….because not long before, I had bitterly quipped that we would have to double date once I found someone. And now we were doing just that!) We also hung out with Rogue and Gambit a bit too. I was worried that Remy and Jean-Paul might not get along given their cultural backgrounds, but they seemed to like each other.

Jean-Paul and I couldn't do enough to get to know each other. Each time we were together, we learned more about the other person. I found myself more and more drawn to him. I know he had been described as arrogant in the past (Wolverine in fact said he used to be) but I think Jean-Paul had matured. He was gentle and thoughtful and serious. I started to see glimmers of his quirky sense of humor too, but not too much. The mood for pretty much everyone on the ship was sedate.

Jean-Paul was no slouch in the Danger Room either----mentally and physically, he was tough. Of course, he was hampered by the loss of the arm. His powers did not include any natural weapon that he could discharge (no lasers shooting from his eyes or ice from his fingertips), and he could not operate a weapon larger than a pistol. His main asset for the X-men would be his super-speed.

I did something in this relationship that I'd never done before: we did not have sex yet. You know, with men----we've all been socialized to go for it and "score" and much as we can, so you put two men together and generally neither of them is going to hold back at all. And, well, think what you will of me, but if Jean-Paul had wanted to, I would have graced his bed in a second. But on our second "date", we discussed this. He told me that he knew he was still grieving the loss of Phillippe and he did not wish to rush into anything just yet. "It would not be fair to you, Bobby," he had said. "I want to take my time getting to know you and not mess anything up. And I want to be respectful of Phillippe's memory by not starting something serious yet. So let's take the time to get to know each other….You know, ten years ago, I would not be thinking this way at all. I would have gone to bed with you in a second. But now I know the difference between having sex and making love. And I want us to make love….but not until the time is right, and not until enough time has passed that I will not be dishonoring Phillippe's memory."

Emotionally and intellectually, I agreed with him one hundred percent. Physically, it was another matter. But I of course had to respect his wishes. So we tended to part each evening outside of one of our rooms with a kiss. (Usually, the hall was empty. But one time, the Professor and Moira came by. I about died!) We never entered each other's rooms and maybe that was for the better. Each night, I went to bed with visions of beautiful Jean-Paul on my mind.

And, of course, Gambit came up to me a few times, nudged my arm and asked me if I'd gotten any. He seemed absolutely shocked when I smiled and said, "No." Once I explained what was going on with Jean-Paul then Gambit, of course, understood.

So that was where things stood at the time we reached earth. It was incredible to me how quickly the days went by. I knew I would need to mentally buckle down and get back to focussing on the mission. That is a tough task to do, though, when you are falling in love.

Back on earth, a young man was walking his dog late one evening. It was a placid, quiet dusk and his well behaved Labrador retriever happily sauntered alongside him. Suddenly, the dog began to bark. The man whirled his head around. Nothing. He heard a sound---something akin to the hum of machinery. The sound seemed to be coming from above him. He looked heavenwards and thought perhaps he caught a glimpse of something…something in the sky. Some sort of movement.

But whatever it was, it was there no longer. His dog calmed down and they resumed their stroll. `Perhaps I imagined it,' the guy said to himself.

Professor Xavier sat at the bridge of Freedom, deftly working the controls. The X-men had several mutants to return to earth, and they needed to do so quickly and efficiently. Each former prisoner was beamed down exactly where he or she requested. The Professor scanned for locations and times that would be as unobtrusive as possible.

Of course, all the X-men stood by----some in the transporter room, others in the bridge, and others yet in the engine room. Beaming people to and from the surface required that Freedom drop its cloak, which put them at a terrible risk. They could only afford to be de-cloaked for a split second, and even then, they had to pray that FOH would not pick them up with their sensors. Everyone stood ready and prepared for battle. Theirs was a nerve-wracking task that required precision and speed.

Hours earlier, the X-men had all held their breath as Freedom slipped past the five FOH vessels that patrolled earth. Apparently, their cloak was still undetectable. Before liberating any Mutant Containment Centers, their first priority was to do right by those mutants they had taken and who wanted to return to earth. One after another, they handled the transport of the former prisoners of the FOH.

John and Elaine Grey sat in their living room, watching the evening news. Their two grandchildren, Joey and Gail were sleeping in the guest room. The grandparents had agreed to serve as babysitters so that their surviving daughter Sara, and her husband Tom, could have a weekend together on vacation. John and Elaine sensed the couple's retreat was perhaps a last ditch attempt to save their marriage, and they were only too glad to babysit for them.

As Elaine worked on her crocheting, she only half-listened to the news. It was odd. Years ago, mutants were in the news virtually every day. Whether it was the violent acts of a few mutants or Charles Xavier's valiant attempts to convince the public that mutants were not to be feared, there had been a time when you could scarcely look at the TV without hearing about mutants.

No longer. It now seemed that they had almost been erased from public consciousness. Occasionally, an FOH commercial would be aired and they would give reminders of how the crime rate was down due to the Mutant Containment Centers. But that was it.

It had been almost two years now that John and Elaine's elder daughter, Jean, had been abducted by Friends of Humanity. The couple still held onto the hope that she lived….but they had neither heard nor sensed anything from her for that entire time. FOH claimed that the X-men had waged a battle on them and stolen one of their starships. And John and Elaine saw on the news that a few months ago, a Mutant Containment Center had been raided ---and all the mutants "abducted"---by the X-men. "So perhaps that's where she is," John had said after those news reports were aired. "She and the other X-men plan to free all the camps and rescue all the mutants. They can't return to earth now. The climate here is too awful for mutants now. Maybe it is best this way." The couple still desperately wished for some sort of sign that Jean was alive and well.

That evening, Elaine heard a noise from the kitchen. It sounded like the whir of machinery, but it was a sound she was unfamiliar with. John was looking intently at her. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"Yes, and I'm glad you heard it too. For a split second, I thought I was losing my mind."  


"We **are** getting old, Elaine."

The couple got up from their recliners and entered the kitchen. On their table was a photograph. Elaine gasped when she saw it. Jean! It was a picture of Jean and Scott….holding a baby! As always, in the picture Jean and Scott looked at each other with abject love. They also looked at the baby with adoration. John and Elaine studied Jean's face. She looked as beautiful and as calm and centered as always. A deeper look at the picture also revealed some weariness on her features.

Hands trembling, John turned the photograph over. Written on the back were the words, "Jean and Scott with Charlotte Lynn. All safe and sound."

"She **is** alive!" John exclaimed. "And look----we have another grandchild!"

Elaine began weeping.

Chapter 18

Chapter 20 


	20. Chapter 20

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 20

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 20

We picked at random which Containment Center to liberate first. There was no other way. FOH now had a grand total of nine Mutant Containment Centers across the globe. We selected one of them at random and steered Freedom towards it.

We had finished the dropping off of all the mutants who wanted to return. We also managed to get a photo to Jean's parents, a letter to Panda's, and other such communications to people's families. A few of the rescued mutants had wanted us to beam their loved ones on board and have them join us. We were able to oblige those requests too. Dropping our cloak was extremely risky, but apparently we were de-cloaked for such brief periods of time that FOH either could not detect us or, on the occasions they did, we were able to re-cloak and resume hiding. So by the time we were ready for our first camp liberation, we knew that FOH knew we were back near earth. But we also were feeling pretty confident. All of the drop-offs had gone amazingly smoothly. The liberation of the next camp would have to as well.

The randomly selected Mutant Containment Center which would be the site of our first rescue was located about 20 miles from Beijing. We knew that the rescued mutants would likely pose a language barrier problem for us, but after all we'd been through, we'd find a way to deal with it. We decided to cross that bridge when we came to it, so to speak.

We were ready for battle. The Professor sat at the controls on the bridge. Moira, Panda, and Shaman waited in one of the transporter rooms, ready to escort former prisoners to sick bay as needed and deal with their needs. The rest of us were ready to take on FOH: Storm, Wolverine, Hank, Colossus, Gambit, Rogue, Jubilee, Angel, Nightcrawler, Marrow, Northstar, Jeanne-Marie, and I. And yes, Psylocke was absent from that line-up. She elected to remain safely on board the ship and not fight. Jubilee's daughter was being babysat by Elena. The rest of us stood by, ready to fly and be transported down to the camp. As last time, we wore gas masks.

Just as last time, we dropped stun gas onto the camp and began the beam-up of the mutant prisoners. After just a few seconds of doing so, the Professor let us know that three FOH warships were speeding towards us. I was not one of the X-men on the bridge at that time, but I heard over the intercom what was happening. The FOH ships chased us, but rather than engage in battle, we cloaked ourselves and turned away.

But the Professor sensed that less than half the mutants in that camp had been rescued. The moment we knew we had evaded our pursuers, we returned to the camp. Just as last time, we had to get down there and bring up any of the remaining mutants. This time, we knew there would be many.

Also like last time, I would make an ice slide to use to help me fly down, and Gambit would again cling to my back on our way down. My heart throbbed with nervousness, but at the same time I was not really afraid. All that training we had done in the Danger Room. I was more than ready.

I glanced at the others. Jean-Paul looked calm and placid. I knew that he, as I, did not relish fighting but would do it when necessary and when he believed it the right thing to do. You couldn't read Wolverine's facial expression behind his mask, but his body language indicated he was very eager and ready to kick some FOH butt. Storm radiated confidence. I was studying Jubilee's features and trying to read her expression when we received the signal from the bridge. We were within range. We were de-cloaking. It was time to go!

The hatch was opened and Storm, Rogue, Northstar, Jeanne-Marie, and Angel flew down, many of them carrying other teammates and or weapons. Nightcrawler teleported down. "Ready, mon ami?" Gambit asked. "I'm ready!" I replied. I made my ice slide, and ----- whooosh!--- down we went. It always felt like the scariest roller coaster in the world, plummeting to the surface with the wind whipping in your face. But I knew my icy pathway would hold us up and get us where we needed to go, quickly.

A second or two after Gambit and I began our descent, something went wrong. My ice slide wasn't….icy anymore. "It's melting!" I yelled. I created more and more ice, but it wasn't countering the fact that the ice beneath me was rapidly turning into water. Off in the distance, I heard an alarm sound. And then I heard a sound so awful, so overwhelming that I panicked and put my hands over my ears. It was a howl so loud and blaring that it felt like it shattered my bones. The pain caused by this noise was unbearable. I couldn't hold myself upright any longer and felt myself losing consciousness. Though within seconds, it didn't matter. Gambit and I didn't have ice underneath ourselves anymore----my slide was melted. We plummeted to the ground. Before I blacked out, I saw a bunch of FOH soldiers wearing gas masks rushing up to us.

A very hard surface. I was laying on a very hard surface and my head throbbed with pain. I wanted to move my body into a more comfortable position but I couldn't summon the strength to move at all. I got the idea to wiggle some fingers just to see if I could do it. Just that bit of effort called on every last reserve of power I had. I groaned and blacked out again.

I woke up again. How much time had passed? I had no idea. Where was I? This time, my head pounded less than before and I mustered more energy. Tongue and larynx were forced into action. "H--hank?" I was shocked at how feeble my own voice sounded but I managed to get it out.

There was no reply. I felt the sickening dread in the pit of my stomach. More and more memories came back. We were preparing for battle with FOH. I was in the transporter room, ready to go. Gambit and I had been sliding down towards the camp….

I think I blacked out again. When I came to again, my fears were with me again. Was I a captive of FOH again? How else could I explain the hard surface I was laying on and the fact that I was in such pain and nothing was being done to relieve it? Concern for my own condition soon melded into concern for my family. Where was Hank? And Jubilee? And Jean-Paul? I fought panic.

This time, I was strong enough to open my eyes. Doing so didn't help much because I soon surmised that I was laying face down. I did not have the ability to turn over or crane my head. I could sense, though, that a collar was around my neck.

More time passed. I didn't want to but I could not stop panicking. Where was everyone? Were we all prisoners again? Please god don't let them have gotten their hands on Jubilee. Or Northstar or Rogue or anyone. Oh my god how would we survive more torture at the hands of FOH again?

I heard voices in the distance. By straining a bit, I could make out what they were saying. "This is it?" a man asked.

My ears perked up and I continued listening. "Yes, Sir. We captured three of the muties."

"Not just any muties," another voice said. "X-men!"

"Why only three?" The voices now seemed close, very close. I could tell that there were more than three men conversing, but I sure wasn't up to doing more analysis beyond that.  


"The rest tucked tail and left."

"I'm not surprised. A bunch of cowards. No loyalty to each other, unlike we Friends of Humanity soldiers!"

"How many of our prisoners did they kidnap?"  


"Only about 55."  
  
"How many of our people killed in battle?"

"None, Sir."

"Good, good."

"Sir, if I might ask, why are we keeping these X-men alive? Shouldn't we kill them right away?"

"Sir, I agree with Lieutenant Rainer. We must kill them immediately! X-men bring trouble wherever they do. We need to----"

"They won't cause us any trouble, Lieutenant. We're not taking them out of that cell and we're going to guard them at all times until we reach our destination. I think these three are perfect for our Ceti III Project. I just got orders from the Top Five to carry forward with this."

The effort of listening to them and making sense out of their words was too much. I closed my eyes. I comforted myself with the thought….if what these men were saying was right, the other X-men were out there. They weren't our fellow captives. We would be rescued in no time.

Wolverine took stock of his surroundings. He was inside a cell. Gambit and Iceman both were sprawled out on the floor of the cell, unconscious. All three had collars around their necks. Five FOH guards stood quietly, surrounding the cell with weapons in hand. They all stared mutely at Wolverine. A few had blank looks; others gazed at him with contempt and hatred on their faces.

His first thought was relief. Apparently neither Storm nor Jubilee had been captured.

Their cell was completely bare other than for a bucket placed in the center. Last time the X-men had been captives of FOH, their containment area had consisted of half of a room backed up against a wall. This time, the cell was cube shaped and squarely in the center of a room. Soldiers stood at all four sides, surrounding them and constantly monitoring them.

When he felt strong enough, Wolverine stood and began to test the force field. One soldier reached for his collar control device, but a superior said to him, "Don't bother. The dumb animal can't break through our force field. No matter how strong he thinks he is." The soldier had been right, as Wolverine suspected he would be. Still, the X-man tested each side of the force field. If anything, it seemed stronger than the field that had held them prisoner so long ago. This time, Wolverine was not going to use up his energy by pounding on the force field.

Resigned that he was temporarily unable to escape, Logan went up to his comrades. He didn't want to move either of them, given the injuries they might have. Based on a visual inspection, Wolverine surmised that neither was seriously or permanently harmed. Perhaps their unconscious state was due solely to Raucous's wailing.

Wolverine had witnessed and participated in enough of the battle to remember a few disturbing details. Several traitor mutants had been working for FOH. Raucous had used his powers to disable the group. So had Vertigo. Pyro had been there, as had the old henchman of Sinister's known as Gorgeous Jorge. In fact, it had been Jorge's stretchy arms that had placed a collar around Wolverine's neck as the Canadian had been battling several FOH soldiers.

`Damn fucking traitors,' Wolverine thought to himself.

Several times, he attempted to engage the guards in conversation. He wanted to learn anything----details of the battle, where he was now, what was in store for him. The guards were steadfast and silent no matter what Wolverine said or how he tried to provoke them. After a while, one of the soldiers finally used the collar control device to shoot a wave of intense agony through Logan's body. "Shut up, animal! Or next time, we torture your boyfriends instead!"

Gambit and Bobby slowly regained consciousness. Just as Gambit was managing to sit up, another soldier entered the vicinity of their cell with a tray of food. He used the same airlock device as FOH had before to place the food inside the cell without allowing the prisoners a chance to escape.

Wolverine eyed the meal. Last time X-men had been prisoners, they had been served half rotted food, and meager portions. Now here was a change. The tray contained heaping portions of fresh bread and butter, leafy green spinach, boiled potatoes, and roast pork. A large bowl of soup stood next to the other food. There was easily enough for three hungry men to eat and have left-overs. Wolverine sniffed the edibles. Normal food from a replicator. No poison or drugs. The rest of his powers were muted due to the collar, but his hyper-sense of smell remained with him as it had last time he'd been a prisoner of FOH.

There may have been no poison in the food, but there were no utensils either. The FOH had not included any forks, knives, spoons or napkins with the meal. Although Wolverine's stomach started to rumble with hunger and his mouth became wet, he was not about to eat.

After some time, Gambit began to eye the meal desirously. As his teammate was still weak, Logan got up and handed the tray to the Cajun. Watching Gambit eat made Wolverine more hungry, and he took several bites of the food.

"That's right, animals," a man said, entering the large room that contained their cell. "Eat up."

"Where are we? Where you taking us?" Gambit asked.

"I only converse with humans, not with sub-human filth. We ask the questions here. Welcome aboard, Mr. Logan and Mr….Remy LeBeau," the FOH commander said, egregiously mispronouncing Gambit's name.

"It's Remy LeBeau," Gambit said, indignant at the mangling of his name.

The man continued as if Gambit had not spoken. "And there is Mr. Bobby Drake. He should be fine in a few hours. Plenty of time for you to recover on this journey. But what a shame that we weren't able to capture any of your females. They make such nice toys for me and my soldiers. Oh well. When we get back to earth, I'll just visit one of the camps and make use of one of the girls there. Mutant females are such sluts."

Wolverine and Gambit attempted, again, to engage him in conversation and glean any more useful information. The FOH commander told them nothing, and he left the room after not long.

Pandemonium reigned on board Freedom. While Hank, Shaman, Panda, Ramon, and Elena were occupied with the mutants that the X-men had managed to rescue, the rest of the team debated what had happened and what to do from there. "How could we have been overwhelmed like that??" "We weren't expecting Raucous, Vertigo and the other traitors to be there!" "I can't believe how fast the other FOH ships got there. We're lucky we survived and our ship is in one piece." "I still don't know how we managed to evade them."

During the confusion and panic of the battle at the camp, six FOH battleships had raced to the site. The X-men were not able to beam up all of the members of the team before they had to make a run for it. Knowing that Freedom had no chance of surviving a conflict with six ships, they were forced to flee earth's atmosphere. Freedom had sustained so much damage that its cloaking device was compromised and FOH was able to follow them into space. The X-men had spent several tense days warping through the galaxy and trying to outrun the FOH ships, occasionally defending the ship by engaging the others in battle. They didn't stand a chance with the odds so heavily against them, much as they wanted to defeat the FOH. It was a miracle that the six FOH ships had not destroyed Freedom entirely and captured them all. Beast had worked furiously to repair the vessel so that they no longer leaked ion and were able to successfully re-engage the cloak.

Once they were cloaked again and certain no more FOH ships could locate them, the X-men debated what to do. The Professor looked at the anxious faces sitting around the table and felt the confusion, fear, and panic. "Our number one priority must be to locate Wolverine, Gambit and Iceman," Storm said with a calmness that the Professor knew she did not feel inside.

"Our ship is no longer leaking ion and FOH can no longer detect us," Beast said. "We can use our stealth to recover our missing friends."

"Well, we gotta move really fast and quit sitting around here debating what happened!" Rogue said. The Professor looked at her, knowing that unlike Storm, Rogue was making no effort to disguise her anxiety. "For all we know, they might already be dead!" Rogue's hair was unkempt and dark circles graced her eyes.

"Professor, tell us what you were able to sense," Storm said, knowing that Xavier had just come from spending hours with Cerebro.

The Professor took a deep breath. "I was not able to sense anything." He noticed Rogue take a sharp breath. "Please do not panic---this does not mean that they are dead. After my session with Cerebro, I strongly sense that they are not on earth. If they were on earth, I would have been able to detect them. But perhaps they are elsewhere."

"Maybe FOH has them on a starship," Nightcrawler said.

"A vessel that went travelling at warp since shortly after our battle back at the camp would be out of Cerebro's range by now."

Rogue made an exasperated sound, a sound indicating someone on the verge of hysteria. "If they're on some cloaked ship travelling at warp, how the hell are we ever gonna to find them!"

"And we cannot be certain at this point," Beast began gently, "that they are even still alive." He said the words dispassionately, but he felt the same turmoil inside as everyone else. Every minute he had to fight the thought that FOH had already tortured and killed Bobby by now.

"But **why** would they take them?" Storm wondered. "And **where** would they take them?"

Angel spoke up, "Look, I hate to be the one to say this, but I gotta say that I don't think FOH would keep them alive. In the camps, they used to always say to Kurt and I that they hated keeping us alive and since we were X-men, we should die. I don't think that was just talk, either. Since then, we've raided one of their camps and half-raided this one. Besides, Wolverine, Gambit and Bobby were involved in the killings of the FOH soldiers on this ship. FOH would have no qualms about serving as judge, jury, and executioner for them."

During the entire exchange, Jubilee was sitting by herself in a chair off to the side, away from the table. Aurora was in her arms, and both mother and daughter cried softly. The baby could not understand why but knew her mother was devastated, so she cried along with Jubilee. The sound of their combined wailing formed a painful dirge for everyone else to listen to as they debated where to go.

"We must proceed as if they are alive and formulate a rescue plan," Storm said. "If they are dead, we will find out one way or another. But for now, let us operate under the assumption that they are alive but that time is running out."

"Perhaps they are being taken to the Acid Planet," Beast suggested. He amazed himself at being able to state it so calmly and evenly. The image of his best friend being tossed to an excruciating death in a pit of acid would haunt his sleep for the next several nights.

The others discussed his thought. It was possible, they admitted, but they had no way of knowing. "That's why we need to head back for earth!" Rogue said. "I say we capture some FOH high-up and make him tell us where they are!"

"That is a good idea," Storm said. "It might be the only way we find out. However, keep in mind that any FOH leaders are going to be exceptionally well-guarded."

"It will be difficult to get to them," Nightcrawler agreed, nodding. "Considering how swiftly they responded when we tried to liberate that last camp. But I agree that we must try. How else can we find out their plans?"

The X-men discussed different ways of locating FOH leadership. Ideas began to simmer. The Professor proposed using Cerebro to probe the minds of FOH leadership. "This version of Cerebro has never been as reliable as its predecessor. It is far more difficult to scan the minds of specific individuals. However, I think I can try. If I work at it long enough, I can identify the top FOH leadership and start from there."

The group liked this idea. They discussed a bit more of the logistics. Colossus had a question. "Even if Wolverine, Gambit and Iceman are alive," he began, "and if we do find them, how will we rescue them?"

Angel nodded. "As we saw during our battle at the camp, our one starship isn't a match for two or three or six of theirs. And as powerful as we are, we're outnumbered when we're up against thousands of troops….and those mutant traitors like Pyro and the rest."

"I wonder," Storm began, "if we can implore Queen Marina for help. The Endarians have power far beyond anything from earth."

"I thought that the Endarians were extremely xenophobic though," Nightcrawler said. "I think perhaps they will not help us."

"They gave us a moon," Rogue said. "Maybe we can get them to give us more."

"The journey to Endaria is almost five weeks from our current position!" Colossus said. "By then maybe is too late."

"And if we return towards An'zhina, we will be moving farther and farther away from earth," Storm said. "It will be difficult, if not impossible, for the Professor and Cerebro to reach the minds of any FOH leaders."

The group discussed this for quite some time. An idea came to Storm, and the group talked it over. Eventually, it was decided. Psylocke and Angel would head towards Endaria in a cloaked shuttle. The journey would still take five weeks, but Psylocke could make telepathic contact with Jean Grey in perhaps four weeks. Maybe it would be too late, maybe not, and maybe Marina would refuse to help more than she already had. But it wouldn't harm anything. Psylocke and Angel departed just hours after the meeting, sharing quick and sad goodbyes with the rest of the team.

I sat on the floor of our cell, literally quaking with fear. "Breathe, Drake, breathe," Wolverine whispered to me.

"It gonna be ok. The others rescue us," Gambit said, sitting next to me.

"They know who we are," I finally whispered, my voice shaking. "They're going to torture me. Any minute they're going to come in and…."

"Take it easy. They ain't done nothing yet and they're not gonna," Wolverine said low.

"How do you know that??" My thoughts were stuck on our last ordeal as FOH prisoners and how I'd been dragged out of the room so that the troops could torture me. This time they wouldn't make the stupid mistakes they'd made before. I was a goner. I'd never been tortured before but I had read a lot about it. I wouldn't last a minute. I have a low tolerance for pain. Every time a soldier entered or left the room, I stiffened with fright. What torture devices would they use? Which parts of my body would suffer the most? How long would it last? How would I survive? Chills sped through my body and I couldn't stop shaking. I also needed very, very badly to urinate.

"One of `em said they weren't taking us out of this cell," Wolverine whispered resolutely.

"They can always use the collar device to torture us!" I shot back. I didn't care whether I sounded like a coward or not. I was terrified out of my mind.

Gambit put a hand on my arm, trying to reassure me. One of the guards noticed. "Get your paw off him!" he yelled. "We don't put up with that faggot shit here." He held a collar device menacingly, and Gambit's hand was promptly removed.

"You're gonna regret capturing us," Wolverine said at one point. "Remember what happened to the last FOH scum who kidnapped us."

"Shut up, dirty animal!" a guard said. "We're not gonna make the mistakes they did."

"The other X-men gonna be here and dey gonna kill you for dis," Gambit said.

"That's what you think, French guy. Your disgusting friends have no idea where you are, and we're so far our of their scanning range right now, they'll never find you." Another guard told the one who'd been speaking to be quiet.

Wolverine and Gambit again tried to get more information from them, but the soldiers just turned the conversation to bragging about how many mutant women they had raped. I closed my eyes and again thanked every power in the universe that none of the women were here with us. I desperately, desperately wished that Jean-Paul, Hank and everyone else were safe.

At times like this, I do regret not being religious. I never liked organized religion. I got so far away from it, I generally felt there was no going back. And I don't know if there is a god or a higher power out there watching over us. It just seemed like, after all the pain and suffering in the world (especially for mutants) that there wasn't. But I didn't know. Still, I longed for someone or something to pray to.

Rogue and Storm sat in Rogue's room. Rogue had polished off a box of tissues and was simply too exhausted to resume crying. She flopped down onto the bed and moaned. A part of her had been ripped from her side and she knew she might never regain it. She felt herself in intense physical pain even though her wound was psychological.

Storm sat on the chair, her hands folded in her lap, her head down. She was forcing herself to breathe normally. "There is nothing I can do right now," she said aloud, though more to herself than to Rogue as the younger woman clearly was not listening. "The Professor has secluded himself with Cerebro and he will get some answers. We are circling earth and we are cloaked. Psylocke and Angel are on their way to Endaria to ask for help." Storm found herself repeating such thoughts.

Rogue finally ceased moaning and spoke. "If we ever get Remy back, this is it for me. I'm finished with our life of action and adventure. Remy and I are gonna settle on An'zhina and enjoy it there. We're finished with living the dangerous lives of X-men. But that's if I ever get Remy back." At the last sentence, Rogue resumed crying.

Storm closed her eyes. She had spent hours with Rogue crying on her shoulder and was too tired now to get up and offer her shoulder again. `I have to face it,' Storm thought to herself. `I'm in love with him. I guess I've known it for a while now, even though Logan will never return my love.. And now I feel about how Rogue looks.'

Rogue continued with her pronouncements, saying she had lived through enough struggle and enough heartbreak. "I hate it! Why the hell did god or fate or whoever give us such a crappy hand?! I'm not goin' on like this any more! And if I don't get Remy back, I don't wanna live anymore!"

At that, Storm got up and embraced the younger woman. Rogue resumed a painful bout of tears, her body shaking with sorrow and exhaustion. Storm murmured comforting words to her friend.

After Rogue fell asleep and Storm had returned to her own room, the wind rider mulled over some of Rogue's words. `I'm never leaving the work of the X-men,' she thought to herself. `As long as there is pain and suffering in the world, I will commit myself to getting rid of it.'

There was no bathroom. When I got to the point that my bladder was bursting and the fullness was a constant pain, I actually got up the nerve to ask a guard to be taken to a restroom. He laughed and said, "Animals don't use bathrooms. Go piss in that bucket we left for you." And so that was our toilet. The guards thoughtfully left a roll of toilet paper for us and they changed the bucket a few times. I guess we should have been thankful for small favors.

We were never offered a chance to take a shower either, and after a couple days, I sure didn't envy Wolverine's enhanced sense of smell. I would have given anything for a sink and some soap or at least some of those hand wipes. I also wished desperately for a toothbrush and toothpaste. Proper decorum precludes me from going into any more detail on this topic.

However, a couple of times during our journey, the guards brought in a large hose and hosed down our fully clothed bodies. Afterwards I sat there shivering in my drenched clothing. "You all are starting to stink so bad, we had to do something!" they said. A clean change of clothes and a bath would have been heaven.

The guards almost never spoke to us or told us anything, no matter how hard we tried to get information from them. They did come in and taunt us every so often. They usually called Wolverine "dirty animal" or "filthy animal", they addressed Gambit with "Hey, French guy," or "sleazy French guy" no matter how often he tried to tell them he was Cajun, not French. And they addressed me, of course, as "faggot", "homo", "dirty queer" and all those other names. (You know, they wouldn't have to use adjectives such as "dirty" if they'd allowed us to take showers!)

However, other than the verbal taunting, they did nothing, which really surprised us. They brought us heaping portions of large meals and we never went hungry. After the first couple of days (I guessed that was how long had passed, judging from the length of the growth of my facial hair), I stopped shaking and could breathe normally. It didn't seem like they were going to torture us. It didn't seem like they were going to do anything, though.

Frequently, the three of us spoke in hushed whispers, speculating as to what their plans were for us. Based on conversation Wolverine had overheard and a few things we **had** gotten out of the guards, we knew we were almost certainly on a starship and were being taken somewhere. But we had no idea where we were going or why. We tried to guess why they hadn't killed us.

"They want us to do something," Wolverine whispered one day. It was difficult sitting close enough to hear whispering since we all reeked by then. "They ain't causing us any bodily harm and they're feedin' us. When we get wherever we're goin', they're gonna have us do something for them."

That sounded reasonable enough. It did nothing, of course, to assuage my fears and anxiety. Each night as I went to sleep, I muffled my tears. I wanted to be back kissing Northstar in the hallway outside my room. I wanted to be playing cards with a group in the rec room. I wanted to be bouncing Rory on my lap as Jubilee and I gossiped, and I wanted to be brushing out Hank's fur. Would I ever experience any of those things again? Wave after wave of dispair washed over me.

Perhaps it was odd, but the three of us didn't really fight or argue much. I expected Gambit and Wolverine to do so---they sure had last time we were all FOH prisoners----but they didn't. Gambit and Wolverine were angry as hell but calm (much calmer than I.) I'm not sure why but I think maybe they were just so grateful that Rogue, Jubilee, and Storm hadn't been abducted with us. And really they'd lived long enough as X-men to feel confident that they would somehow get out of this one too. They kept reminding me of all the things we X-men have struggled with and defeated over the years.

Our cell was big enough that we all had quite a bit of room to pace and room to move. On up days, we actually trained. Wolverine would coach me in karate moves. All three of us would do whatever sort of training and physical activity we could---karate, push-ups, arm wrestling, etc, etc. Usually, though, the guards would yell at us to stop and use the collar device to hurt us until we stopped working. But we were able to stretch and move around.

The Professor ended another session with Cerebro to no avail. He had stopped because he knew he had reached his limit and desperately needed a rest. Too exhausted to eat dinner, he steered his hover chair back to his room and looked forward to sleep.

The 55 mutants they had rescued from FOH were a mess. What's worse, communicating with them was difficult, if not impossible. Only about 12 spoke any English. As telepaths, Charles and Betsy were the only X-men who could communicate with them, but Betsy was gone and Charles had to devote himself to his work with Cerebro. Beast had been teaching himself Mandarin in an attempt to communicate with them. His brilliant mind was adept enough that he had already learned quite a bit, though certainly not enough to carry on an extensive conversation.

Shaman's powers had worked wonders on healing the physical bodies of the rescued mutants, but the big challenge would be dealing with their emotional wounds. "They come from a culture of shame," Hank had told Panda one night. "Many Asian cultures teach its people to feel shame over all aspects of their lives. The mutants we rescued feel shame over being mutants, over 'disgracing' their families with this. They feel ashamed that they were placed in a containment center. And the women all feel shame over being raped." Even if the Professor had been available to help, very few of the rescuees wanted any sort of counseling. They were too mortified to want to discuss their experience with anyone.

The X-men were dealt another blow when one of the rescued mutants killed herself. They grimly held an awkward service for her and feared others would follow her. Hank, Shaman, and the others who worked in medical attempted to monitor the rescued mutants as much as possible.

All of these thoughts swirled through Charles's head as he made it to his room at last. He undressed for bed, though he could tell it would be one of those nights where the body and mind were too wound up and drained for real sleep.

A knock was heard on his door. Inwardly, the very patient and hard working man groaned. But he then turned his telepathy on and realized who it was. "Come in, Moira," he said, reaching for his robe and donning it.

Moira entered the Professor's quarters. "Is anything the matter?" he asked her. They had continued their tradition of eating breakfast together, but that was generally the only time of day they were able to spend together. Seeing Moira here in the late evening made Charles worry something was amiss.

"No, nothing at all," she said. "I was just concerned for you, Charles. I know you are under an enormous amount of stress. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help."

"Thank you, Moira," he said quietly. She approached his bulky hover chair. "I could certainly use…y-your support."

Moira smiled to herself. She hadn't heard Charles Xavier become tongue-tied since their courtship decades ago. Moira decided to act on impulse and reach her hands towards his head. "You've been over-working this amazing mind of yours," she said, as she touched her hands to his temples.

Charles thought how smooth and refreshingly cool Moira's hands felt against his skin. She slowly began to gently rub his temples. Charles wondered if he had inadvertently given her a subconscious suggestion to do so, because that was exactly what he wanted her to do. Her soothing hands were somehow causing his tension and exhaustion to evaporate.

Moira herself was remembering how much she used to love to touch his bald head. So many decades ago when they had been engaged, she'd loved touching the smooth surface and marveling at how sleek it was.

When the time was just right, she stopped her action. "I can get you a cup of tea. Wouldya like that?" she asked softly. "I think a cup of chamomile tea would be perfect for you, Charles."

"Thank you, Moira," was all he could manage to say. She then departed for the nearest food replicator. In her absence, Charles silently reminded himself to get a hold of his emotions. His defenses were a bit down, he knew, because he was fatigued by the rigorous mental activity he'd been engaged in. `But Moira is a recent widow and I must exercise more control,' he told himself as he forced himself to reign in his feelings.

After Moira returned, they sat together and sipped tea. They didn't speak, but Moira sat close enough to his chair that they could hold hands. Xavier was such a powerful telepath that he could easily read other people's emotions and thoughts. Oftentimes, he had to exert control over his powers in order to **not** pick up other people's feelings. This night, he was too tired and he automatically sensed her feelings for him. But he also knew they were both adults and that the time to begin exploring these mutual feelings was not right.

It was night on board the ship. We knew that because Wolverine could hear the soldiers talking amongst themselves and had learned their pattern of when the guards rotated who was on duty to stand watch over our cell. We were served three regular meals a day, and we knew it was breakfast because we would be served such foods as scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes and bagels with cream cheese. Never had prisoners ever been so well-fed as we were. Mealtime was truly becoming the only high point of my days.

Of course nighttime didn't mean much to us----the lights in the room blared brightly all hours of the day and needless to say there were no beds in the cell. Still, we'd managed to get on a pretty regular schedule and we generally slept at night. I peeked over at Gambit and wished my uniform included a duster as his did----he always rolled it up and made it into a pillow. As every night now, I rolled onto my stomach and slept with my head resting on my forearms. My neck was constantly sore, not to mention my shoulders and forearms.

I managed to drift off at one point, but then I was awakened by some yelling. Some guards were standing closer to our cell than usual and they shouted at each other. "We wanna get him outta there!" one of them yelled. "We'll use the airlock and there'll be no chance he can escape." It sounded like a couple others were loudly agreeing with this guy.

"No way. The captain said the prisoners stay in there till the journey's over----no exceptions!"

"We just wanna have some fun with him!" a different voice screamed. Then it sounded like yet another man said, "We want to beat up that faggot! He deserves it. Let us get to him!" Another one said, "We'll return him when we're done. I got a baseball bat that I wanna use on him."

Oh shit. They were talking about me. I tried to block out their words but they could wake the dead with their screaming. I stiffened with fear and didn't move a muscle. I tried to keep breathing as my pulse raised. I broke out in a cold sweat.

"I told you! The captain will kill us if we take any of them out of there!"

"I rank higher than you, Private! I'm a Lieutenant. Now do what I say and----"

"You guys will get in a lot of trouble for beating him up! Our orders were to deliver the muties un-harmed and in good condition. You'll get punished if you beat him up!"

"I don't care! I wanna get my hands on that faggot and rip him to shreds!"

It continued on and on like that. I couldn't do anything but lay in my cell, though there was no longer really any need to pretend I was asleep. I didn't turn my head to watch, though it sounded like a lot of pushing and shoving was going on. From what I heard, their fight turned to blows at one point.

Finally some high ranking guy came in and told them to cease. So the fight stopped and my would-be torturers left without getting a chance to beat me up, though they complained loudly. I hung my head back down onto my forearms and tried to sleep once more. `Come on Storm,' I thought to myself, `what is taking you and the others so long??'

Of course I knew Wolverine's super-sensitive hearing would easily have allowed him to hear the exchange among the guards (heck, a deaf man should've been able to hear it given their screaming). The next day, the three of us talked about it in whispers. The guards had revealed a bit during their yelling. "Who and where is it we're being taken to?" I whispered.

"An' what dey want us to do?" Gambit asked.

"Must be some sorta physical labor," Wolverine said. "That's why they want us in good condition."

"Quiet in there!" one of the guards yelled. Our conversation was over.

Panda generally was an optimist. She had to be --- it was her sense of humor and positivity that had allowed her to survive a tormented childhood and adolescence. Recent circumstances, however, had really required her to grasp at straws to find anything to be grateful for. But she had just found one. `We're so busy now, I don't have to feel bad about Hank not asking me to make love. Clearly now, neither of us has the time!' She chuckled to herself, though she also knew it was no laughing matter. Although Hank didn't like to talk about it, it was obvious that in addition to being too busy, he was too depressed at the loss of Bobby.

Truly all of the X-men were busy at all hours of the day, tending to the former prisoners. Panda herself had done some surfing and found a computer program that could teach the English language. Only about 20 of the rescued mutants were interested in it, but Panda gladly led those who wanted to the computer lab and she occasionally popped in to assist with their progress. Not knowing a word of Mandarin or Cantonese herself, she was fairly limited in what she could do, but she was able to help them pronounce words correctly. `At least it's something,' she told herself. One of the former prisoners who did speak a little English was on hand that day to assist the others with their learning.

Hank was progressing in his study of Mandarin, and the numbers of those who wanted to communicate with him were slowly swelling. Still, very few of the women had allowed him to examine them, even though some of them were clearly suffering from infections and other sexually transmitted diseases.

`At least no one else has killed themselves,' she told herself. She then shook her head. `Sheesh, things must be pretty crappy if I'm counting that as something to be happy for!' The mood on board the ship, however, was dismal and it grew worse with each passing day. Every time Panda saw either Rogue or Jubilee, each woman looked as if she had just finished a round of crying. Panda asked Jubilee one day if she wanted someone to talk to, and Jubilee had simply collapsed into her warm arms and cried for an hour, until her tiny body couldn't do it any longer. The Professor always looked downright haggard, and the very patient man grew visibly more frustrated as each day went by. Storm was tight-lipped and sullen. She didn't know Northstar well, but he clearly was upset too.

And then there was Hank. She'd never seen him so distraught, though he seemed to be attempting to hide it. One evening, they'd sat together after a dinner that Hank barely picked at. He'd been making a half-hearted effort to discuss a scientific article he'd recently read. "You don't need to hide your feelings around me, my love," she said to him out of the blue.

"I do not wish to dampen your spirits. There is no need for me to waste your time by talking about how much I miss Bobby and the others. You already know that I miss them," Hank said.

"Hank," Panda said, reaching for one of his hands. "I love you and I care about you. Listening to you is **never** wasting my time. You don't ever have to pretend to be happy for me! I---what kind of relationship would that be if one person expected the other to fake it all the time? Or if you couldn't just be yourself?"

Hank forced a smile. He hadn't wanted to show her this side of him, didn't think she needed to see him cry or listen to him mourn over Bobby. Even as he forced the corners of his mouth upwards, they twitched and he felt the lump build up in his throat. "I cannot bear the thought that I might never see Bobby again," he said, lowering his head. "Every night I go to bed with the image of him being tortured and killed by FOH."

Panda held him as Hank cried unabashedly now.

When I did sleep, I dreamt of Northstar. When I couldn't sleep, I focussed on his image to help me. His softly French-accented voice. His eyes. Did I ever mention how beautiful they were? That gorgeous hair with the silky-white highlights. His creamy white smooth skin which had not a blemish on it. The way he moved and the way he walked---elegant, dancer-like. The way he kissed, the velvet feel of his tongue in my mouth.

He and I had about a week together before this happened. Was that fated to be all for me? Was that it?

"Okay, stand up!" a guard commanded, entering the room that contained our cell. Wolverine was having some attitude that day and just told the guard to fuck off. The guard then used the collar device on me. I had already stood up, but the soldier shot such an agonizing wave of pain through me that all I could do was sink back down to my knees. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire with excruciating pain even though the torture device had been turned on for only a matter of seconds.

Wolverine was now standing, and he and Gambit helped me get back on my feet. The guards then required us to walk through the airlock one at a time. The second each one of us was out of the cell, they used the torture device again to overwhelm us with another shot of pain. While each of us was debilitated, they handcuffed us and placed ankle restraints on us as well. Smart thinking on their part. We didn't even have a split second in which we could try something. Before we knew it, our wrists and ankles were restrained and each of us had two guards escorting him down a hallway. That, combined with the collars and collar control devices, guaranteed that we were pretty much as helpless as we'd been the moment we were brought on board that ship.

Three guards then led me into a room. We were alone----the other X-men were not brought to this room. My heartbeat raced and I again broke out in a cold sweat of terror. `So now they're going to torture me,' I thought. `I will now find out what prolonged torture feels like.' I closed my eyes and prayed that I would find the means to withstand it.

I then opened my eyes. The room I had been brought to was not unlike the personnel quarters on board Freedom, except that this room was slightly larger. The soldiers pushed me into the bathroom.

"Take off your clothes," one of them commanded.

I froze. Oh my god.

"He can't take his clothes off, Sir," one of the soldiers said. "Look at the handcuffs and---"

"Yes, of course. Use your knives----tear his filthy rags off."

I stood as still as possible as two of the men whipped out blades and literally tore my dirty clothing from my body. I tried to brace myself for whatever sort of abuse they were going to inflict upon me.

"Now get in there and take a shower, you dirty mutant!"

That's it? The soldier pointed at the shower. My eyes were wide and I was quite shocked for a moment. "Go!" he said again.

I climbed into the shower as best I could, though I fell on my backside on the way in due to all the restraints on my body. It took another several seconds for me to get back on my feet. The shower had no curtains and the three soldiers watched me, their guns poised, as I ran the water, soaped up and rinsed. It was like some bizarre silent comedy. Despite my fear, my soreness, my exhaustion, and my puzzlement at the entire scenario, I was delighted to be taking a shower. After god knows how many days or weeks without one, the warm water felt like heaven. I rejoiced in soaping up and rinsing away the rankness from my body. I used the soap to wash my hair as best I could too. The soldiers just stood there, watching.

"Okay, that's enough, pretty boy! Now get out."

They directed me to a towel, and then to clean clothing: underwear, khaki trousers, and a white T shirt. As I picked up the clothes, I realized that dressing while wearing handcuffs and ankle restraints would be fairly impossible. The soldiers must have realized it too. I screamed in shock and pain as another wave of agony overtook me.

The soldiers must have used the collar device to knock me out cold. When I came to again, I was still in that room, dressed in the clean clothing….and the handcuffs and ankle restraints were back on me. I had no shoes or socks on. The same three soldiers were still there with me.

"Now shave."

Sitting on the bathroom countertop were plastic razor blades and---how thoughtful---shaving cream. I'd never shaved while handcuffed before and it was quite an experience. Still, I was glad to get rid of all the prickly facial hair since I so prefer a smooth look.

When I was done with my grooming, I was tempted to inquire about after-shave---but instead the soldiers then shoved me out the door of that room, and back down the hall. During this time, I kept my eyes wide open and darted my head around as much as I could. Despite lingering pain from having the collar used on me three times in a short amount of time and despite my bound wrists and ankles, I was hoping for a chance to escape. The soldiers, however, must have been hip to my thoughts. They practically sandwiched me as we walked down the hall, and one watched me like a hawk as he held the collar control device.

I was brought to a different cell than the one we'd been in before. This one was more similar to the type of unit we X-men had all been placed in so long ago when we were captives of FOH. It occupied about half of a large room and was cordoned off by a force field. The square-shaped cell had walls on three sides, and the force field on the fourth side. Once I was deposited into the cell, I tested the force field. As strong as ever. Two guards remained in the room to keep watch over me. Their eyes followed my every move.

This prison would be paradise compared to our previous one: it had a toilet and sink. I almost wanted to rejoice. And blessedly, a few rolls of toilet paper were on the floor next to the can. No shower though.

As I scurried about the cell, looking for possible ways to escape, the door to the room containing the cell slid open. Three guards brought a struggling Gambit in. As they had with me, they forced him through the airlock. Once he was inside, they pressed a few buttons and his handcuffs and ankle cuffs came off.

Gambit and I looked at each other in amazement. He was clean too. Clearly he'd showered and shaved just as I had. (Though with Gambit, even after he shaves, you can bet stubble will grow back in a few hours.) He was similarly attired as I---khaki pants and a neutral-colored shirt. No shoes or socks either. He and I whispered together.

"What is goin' on?" he asked.

"Maybe they got tired of looking at us and smelling us," I said.

"Den why wouldn't dey just hose us down like dey did dose two other times? And why make us shave?"

"Maybe they're going to ask us to do some modeling."

Gambit gave me a crazed look but I had to try to make a joke out of it. It was all too absurd.

We kept looking towards the door, expecting Wolverine to be tossed in at any minute. Time passed and no sign of Wolverine. Our dinner was brought to us, right on schedule. Still no Wolverine. We asked the guards about him but got the usual response we received whenever we asked them anything: "Shut the hell up, muties."

Finally, long after Gambit and I had eaten our dinner (saving some of it for Logan), an unconscious Wolverine was tossed through the airlock. I suppose I don't need to say that he also had showered and was donned in fresh apparel. (None of his facial hair was gone though.) After what seemed like several hours, he regained consciousness. He was dazed but basically alright. He must have put up more of a fight for his guards.

"We must be close," he whispered to us, "close to wherever they're bringin' us."

Angel and Psylocke continued their journey towards An'zhina. They were still too far away to make contact, though Psylocke tried several times a day to reach the mind of Jean Grey. Both women had strong powers, but there was only so much that could be done to cross the span of the many light-years that separated them.

With each passing day, Warren felt more and more despair. And although he was concerned about Wolverine, Gambit and Iceman, the main cause of his despair was his deteriorating relationship with Betsy. Nothing would ever be the same. If he and Betsy settled on An'zhina for the long-term---and it appeared they would have no choice----gone forever would be the days when he could show his love by lavishing Betsy with extensive gifts. He had no money, his millions gone.

Not that Betsy even seemed to care one way or the other. They had so much time together in the small shuttle, but they rarely spoke. Betsy was slowly becoming more like her old self….but much, much quieter. She spent long stretches of the day writing in a journal, as Xavier had recommended she do. Warren passed much of his time playing computer games. He and Betsy played cards together, though she usually failed to respond to any of his attempts at conversation.

They were having sex again. They had started to do so a couple weeks before Freedom reached earth. Betsy had initiated it, as Warren knew not to. It was an enjoyable way to pass the time during their journey. Half the time now, Warren initiated it and Betsy rarely said no. However, just as Betsy was a pale shell of her old self, their lovemaking had now deteriorated to a mechanical act. Gone were the fire, the passion, and the spark from Betsy. Feeling cold and empty, Warren wondered how much longer this would go on.

Jubilee, Rogue, Storm, and Northstar sat in the rec room. Northstar sat on the floor with little Aurora as the baby crawled around, picking up various toys that had been replicated. Northstar half-heartedly played with the baby, vaguely remembering his own daughter who died so long ago….How much sadness could be packed into one life, he wondered?

"What is the deal with those traitors like Pyro and Vertigo?" Rogue burst out. The question came out of nowhere but it had been running through her head frequently. "What the hell were they doing helping FOH??"

"And you're like surprised?" Jubilee asked. "They've never exactly been upstanding examples of….moral behavior."

"Hiring yourself out to Magneto or even Sinister is one thing," Northstar said grimly. "But working for Friends of Humanity is entirely different."

Storm shrugged. "Perhaps they are simply doing what they need in order to stay alive. FOH would probably kill them if they were not following their bidding."

"You're far too kind, Storm," Rogue muttered. "Maybe FOH is paying them well and letting them live in the lap of luxury for turnin' Benedict Arnold on their own kind."

The four exchanged somber looks with each other. Would there be no end to the suffering of mutants on earth? What limits could some mutants be pushed to in order to survive?

Finally, Jubilee exploded. "I can't stand this! I can't sitting around talking and wondering and doing nothing!! Wolvie, Bobby and Gambit could be **dead** for all we know!"

Rogue looked at Jubilee and then just began crying again. During the past several days, Rogue had only ceased crying for periods of time, intervals in which it seemed her body only was regaining enough strength to begin crying anew. She didn't care who saw her bawling either.

"The Professor has been working with Cerebro day and night," Storm said. "If there is a way to rescue them, he will find it. He will make contact with a member of FOH who knows what happened to them."

Northstar shut his eyes and looked down. He had taken to the X-men and felt no discomfort in saying what was on his mind with them. "I think I am maybe through with caring about anyone ever again. Almost everyone I ever loved his dead. We are cursed! We mutants are so cursed!"

"We are not cursed," Storm said.

Jubilee had joined Rogue in crying. Tears now streaked down the young woman's face. "Maybe we are. Look at everything we've been through. Normal people don't-----"

"Yes, look at everything we've been through!" Storm said, emphatically. "Everything we X-men have been through and **survived.** We are survivors and we will get through this. Right now, the Professor is doing everything he can to locate them. He has never failed us before. We will soon be able to channel our sorrow and rage into action."

"But Storm," Northstar began, "we all----." He suddenly stopped talking because he heard a voice speaking directly into his mind. Judging from the looks on the faces of the others in the room, they heard it too. It was Professor X. He wanted to meet right away on the bridge.

Chapter 19

Chapter 21 


	21. Chapter 21

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Chapter 21

Friends of Humanity

By Stormkeeper

Chapter 21

"I have located one of the leaders of Friends of Humanity," the Professor said. "I have been able to learn some information about him and to pin-point where exactly he lives." He had shared with all of the X-men his frustration at working with the new Cerebro, how difficult it was to link up with anyone specific. They all looked around the table, excitedly.

"I do not yet know if our missing teammates are alive," the Professor continued, looking in the direction of Rogue, who was practically falling off the edge of her seat. "However, I am certain that General Thompson is high enough in their organization that he would know. Or be able to find out."

The X-men discussed what to do from there. It was soon agreed that Nightcrawler would teleport in to this General Thompson, and then teleport back with Thompson as a hostage. Once the FOH honcho was aboard Freedom, the Professor would then probe his mind in person. In close range with the most powerful telepath in the galaxy, Thompson would be able to hide nothing.

Wolverine doused his face with cold water. It was the first morning in the new cell that he, Gambit and Bobby had been brought to. He heard sounds of three guards walking down the hall, approaching their cell. He smelled the food they carried. Bacon strips, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, and an assortment of fruits----mostly melons and strawberries.

"Eat up, you filthy dogs," one guard said as he placed the tray in the airlock. As always, heaping portions of food but no silverware or napkins. The three men silently divided up the food as they always did and dug in with their fingers.

Wolverine ate with one hand, using the other to rub at a crick in his neck. Sleeping on the floor every night was getting tedious, even for him. He knew what he really missed about sleeping though---he liked having a soft woman to cuddle up with. He remembered so many mornings of waking up next to her, rousing her and making love again. He shook his head and shook the image of Storm out of his mind. He might have had a goddess in his arms but it was the redhead he longed for and always would. It was easier that way, a lot easier that way. Better to not care about anyone and safer to love the one who was safely ensconced, light-years away. Wolverine silently reassured himself that it was only a matter of time before they escaped or the other X-men rescued them.

"Today's the big day," one of the FOH higher-ups said as he brusquely entered the room with a few other guards.

"What do you mean?" Iceman asked.

"Stand up!" the man commanded.

All three X-men did as instructed to this time, not wanting any of the others to have to face the torture of the collars. "We will miss having you as our guests here," the FOH man taunted.

"Where we going?" Gambit asked. A second or two after the words were out of his mouth, he, Wolverine, and Bobby were beamed off of the starship.

The second that the transporter beam had finished its work and we felt our feet back on solid ground, Wolverine, Gambit and I took battle positions. We still had those wretched collars on, of course, but we each assumed a combat stance.

Where the hell were we? That was my thought in the split-second I had. We were somewhere dark and warm. The walls seemed to be made of some sort of rock and----

Several uniformed men were standing around us. They were not FOH guys---at least they weren't wearing the stomach-churning FOH uniform. As my eyes adjusted to the darker surroundings, I peered at their faces. They didn't look quite human. Seconds after we were transported there, Wolverine leapt right away for one of the men. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the uniformed men press a button on a device he held, and Wolverine sank to his knees in pain. Great. Wherever we were, they had the collar control devices too.

Then I can't explain what happened. I guess it was all the stress I'd been under----the days and days of being cooped up in that cell, wondering about my fate and whether or not I was going to be killed or tortured. And now we were standing in some bizarre place with men who were clearly not human. I fainted.

When I came to, I felt groggy and dizzy. I also wanted to cry but I bit it back. I was so confused and disoriented. I held my head in my hands and just tried to breathe. After some time, I lifted my head and looked around. The room was empty. No sign of Wolverine and Gambit.

It was a different room than the one before, a large room. The walls again appeared to be made of some sort of rock, but they gave off a faint reddish glow. The reddish glow provided light. I didn't see any other light source except for a glowing bulb in the middle of the room. A rank odor was present but not over-powering ---it pretty much smelled like dirty laundry on bodies that were not washed as often as they should be. I was laying on what was basically a sleeping bag. I looked down at it. The blankets were tattered and had a musty odor. Several other such cots and sleeping bags were scattered throughout the room, but there appeared to be no furniture or nothing else of note in the room.

I kept craning my head around and squinting to try to see more, though I didn't rise from the sleeping bag. I was still physically weak and light-headed. Unlike the room we had been in before, this room was slightly cool. My thin T-shirt and pants weren't doing much to stave off the chill, so I wrapped my blankets around me. I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest and I wrapped my arms around them, hugging myself. I again put my head down and focussed on not crying. Instead my body trembled and I rubbed at my arms to chase down the goose-bumps.

I was thirsty and, as time went by, I desperately had to go to the bathroom. But I was too terrified to move. `I'm such a pitiful excuse for an X-man. I fainted. Now I'm terrified and I'm too scared to even get up!' At least I wasn't crying.

I heard something and braced myself. Two men entered the room. They walked right past me after just glancing in my direction. They were talking to each other, though it was in a language I didn't understand. A language I had never heard before. They continued talking for a bit, as if I didn't exist. They then slumped down onto their own sleeping bags and apparently went to sleep.

A few other men drizzled in like these had. I couldn't get a good look at any of them and they all spoke completely alien tongues. A few glanced at me but they basically ignored me. I again forced myself to breathe. Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. Stay calm. Everything will be alright.

"Dere you are!"

"Gambit!" I said, smiling and jumping up to my feet. I almost wanted to hug him but held back. He looked basically alright, though his clothes and face were sprinkled with some sort of black smudges.

"You better sit back down. You don't look so good," he said. He helped me lower myself back down to the sleeping bag, and he sat next to me. "Drink," he said, holding what appeared to be a canteen towards me. "It's water." He put a comforting hand on my back.

I thanked him, and gulped it down. The water was cool and deliciously refreshing. My head started to feel a little better. "Remy, where the hell are we?"  


"I wish I knew, mon ami. Wherever we are, we be a long way from earth. We in some sort of mine."

"A mine?"

"A mine. It seems we brought here to mine for some sort of rock. Dat's what Wolverine and I been doin' while you fainted. Dis here is our new apartment," he said, gesturing with an arm. "I'd say we have `bout 20 roommates."

He went on to share with me what he'd learned. He said it looked as if men from many different planets and civilizations were our fellow captives here. "Don't know how many slaves dey got here," Remy said. "From what I see, hundreds and maybe thousands. It's really well-guarded, too. Me and Logan try everythin' but the guards, dey all got the devices. We so much as look at `em the wrong way, dey zap us."

"Great," I said. I took a better look at him, and he did look….damaged. There is only so much of the collar-torture that one can take, and he had obviously been on the receiving end of more than his share that day. But he was so strong to be able to take all that and still be up and around.

Gambit went on to tell me more. The guards had explained how to do the mining by using a serious of gestures and grunts, as no one seemed to speak English. He described it as fairly tiring and repetitive labor but simple.

Gambit also said that it appeared our living quarters were a short walk from the mine and probably also underground.

Wolverine then joined us, bringing trays of food to us. "Damn shit-hole," he muttered, looking around the room. I took the food he offered me but the smell turned my stomach and I couldn't eat. Wolverine and Gambit gobbled it down, whatever it was. I didn't want to ask.

"I thought you liked workin' with your hands," Gambit said. I looked at him, wondering how he could be grinning and making snide comments at a time like this.

"Not for these pigs. We gotta find a way outta here."

"Can't we all like rise up and revolt?" I asked, looking around the room at the other men. Most were laying down on their mats, some were talking or eating or drinking. "You said there are hundreds or thousands of slaves."

"For every slave, it looks like they got two guards. And everyone has a collar on. But," Wolverine went on, craning his head in the direction of some of the men, "if we all jumped the guards at the same time and got a hold of the collar control devices…."

"Jus' one problem, mon ami," Gambit began. "We can't understand a damn thing the other people here are sayin'. And we ain't the only ones."

"I know," Wolverine said. "We got guys from a bunch of different planets here."

"We do?" I asked.

Gambit and Wolverine went on to explain that once you got a close up view of our fellow workers, you would see that they clearly represent a number of different alien races. Different skin colors, ridges on various facial parts, humanoids with three eyes….it was like something from a bizarre science fiction movie. "I'm no expert on inter-galactic languages," Gambit said, "but I t'ink I heard `bout 20 different languages today."

The three of us spoke a bit more about our predicament. We brainstormed other ways to get free but we really seemed to be stuck. On top of everything else, we were god-knows how many feet underground.

"Um, guys," I finally began, once my bladder had reached critical mass, "I really have to go to the bathroom. Is there…..?"

"I'll show you," Gambit said, standing up, and then offering me his hand. I gladly took it and he helped me to my feet. "You okay?" he asked, making sure I was steady on my feet. I nodded.

Wolverine followed us as we walked down a hallway. Well, what can I say about the bathroom? This bathroom was pretty filthy but I can't complain----it had actual toilets, sinks, and showers. I looked around and shrugged, "Well, it's better than the bucket."

The three of us laughed the desperate laugh. You know, once you've crapped into a bucket with two others in the same cell with you, you have bonded.

General Thompson lay slumbering peacefully in his bed. He slept the sleep of the contented. General Thompson was one of the highest ranking Friends of Humanity officers, bringing in a six-figure income as compensation for his tactical and strategic work with the organization. He lived in a huge mansion with his wife and three children.

FOH---once dismissed as a radical, fringe group----now boasted millions of members across the globe. FOH had overcome the stigma of its lunatic founder, Graydon Creed and had gone on to flourish. Training centers were now established throughout the world. Boys as young as 9 and 10 were being inducted into their youth program. It was beautiful. Their youth groups had nearly as many members as FOH itself. The next generation would grow up seeing mutants as they truly were----a plague on humanity, dangerous and evil.

And best of all, now 9 Mutant Containment Centers had been established across the globe, with three more scheduled to go up within the next six months. Mutants no longer roamed the streets freely, causing danger and destruction. They were now confined and contained. Those who weren't captives of the FOH scurried through the streets like the vermin they were, afraid to show themselves, knowing capture was inevitable. Just as it should be.

Confining mutants to these camps served so many wonderful purposes. The crime rate across the world was down, and FOH reaped all the credit. And the female prisoners provided such a great service for the troops. Last time General Thompson had forced himself on one of the female mutants, he had looked at her blank, soulless face and knew he wasn't harming a human being. There was nothing wrong with it.

Sterilization was now being rolled out at most of the containment centers. The males were having vasectomies forced on them, and the females were forced to undergo tubal ligation (hysterectomies took too long and required the women to be unavailable to the troops for an unacceptable amount of time.) This would work out so well in the long term, severely lessening the number of genetic mistakes roaming around the planet.

General Thompson was also cheered by the recent defeat of the X-men in Beijing. Those horrible creatures who had killed so many noble soldiers and stolen one of their best starships had effectively been pushed back. They fled after only stealing 55 mutants. Just goes to show you the power in numbers and in brute strength. Best yet, three X-men had been taken prisoner. The General had decided that, instead of executing them, they would be perfect for the Ceti III Project. It would work to everyone's benefit----FOH earns a little money, develops their relationship with the Cetians, and three X-men are permanently taken away.

Everything was going so well. The General smiled in his sleep.

Suddenly he woke with a start. Someone---or something---had suddenly appeared on top of him.

It wasn't Mrs. Thompson.

Before he knew it, the General was teleported out of his mansion.

"Good work, Nightcrawler," Storm said. It had been such a dangerous mission, she had feared sending Kurt on it. What a blow it would be if they were to lose another teammate. But it had worked like clockwork. Freedom de-cloaked, Nightcrawler teleported down, teleported back up with the General, and Freedom re-cloaked and fled----all in under 7 seconds. Too fast for any FOH ships to detect and intercept. As soon as she saw that Kurt was safe, Storm had gone up to her friend and shook his hand. She tried to contain her excitement and hope.

Moments later, Rogue peered into the large glass window of the room in which Thompson was held. "They're bein' way too soft," she grumbled. Northstar, standing next to her, nodded his assent. All the X-men stood outside the room, listening to the exchange via the intercom. It was set to one-way, so that they could hear the goings-on in the room, but they themselves could not be heard.

General Thompson sat in the chair, his arms and legs restrained. He tried to focus and stay calm. He knew the two people standing over him. Not only were they mutant scum, but they were the lowest of the low. Two leaders of the X-men. The bald creature in the wheelchair was Charles Xavier, a former multi-billionaire who had founded the X-men. The female with brown skin and white hair was known as Storm. How in the hell had they gotten past the security system and the guards who patrolled his mansion??

"I am not afraid of you!" Thompson yelled.

"Nor should you be," Storm said, simply. As always, her emotions were held in check. "All you need to do is cooperate with us."

"We simply want to know whether Wolverine, Gambit and Iceman are still alive. And if they are, we want to know where they are," Xavier said.

"You're some sort of telepath. Read my mind," Thompson said.

"I prefer not the enter the minds of others without their consent. However, I will do so if you do not cooperate."

Standing outside the room, Rogue yelled, her fists clenched, "C'mon, Professor! Just do it! Why waste time like this??" she knew she could not be heard by the Professor but needed to vent anyway.

"Well I'm not going to cooperate with you," Thompson said. "I shouldn't even be talking to sub-human filth like you two. I---"

The Professor tuned out the man's rantings as he then shut his eyes and concentrated. Almost effortlessly, he entered Thompson's mind. The man's thoughts, his actions, and his decisions were easily peeled away like the skin of an onion. The Professor had seen quite a lot in his lifetime, but he had to keep from flinching as he re-lived some of the reprehensible actions committed by the General.

Storm stood by, alternating her glance between the Professor and Thompson. After just moments, the Professor spoke, looking at Storm and at all the others clustered by the room's window. "There is a good chance that Bobby, Gambit and Wolverine are still alive. It was not in the plans of FOH to kill them."

Rogue and Jubilee looked at each other, and then grabbed each other's arms. Jeanne-Marie gave her brother Northstar a hug. Moira practically jumped when she heard Charles's words. Inside the room, Storm could not repress a smile.

Apparently FOH had been undergoing deep space exploration when they crossed paths with the inhabitants of Ceti III. The Cetians had a huge industry focused on the mining of their precious stone, benzite. The Cetians kidnapped and purchased slaves from all over the galaxy to feed the insatiable hunger of their mining industry. Purchased slaves would then toil away at these benzite mines. FOH and the Cetians were moving towards a tentative alliance, and FOH was testing the waters by selling slaves to the Cetians.

The Professor continued to search through the man's mind. He then asked, "Where is this Ceti III?"

The General did not answer. Charles resumed the scan of his mind. He could not find any specifics on where Ceti III was located or any details on how strong its defenses were. He found general information----the sector of the galaxy where the star system was located and the fact that Ceti III had a fairly strong armada. Was it one that the X-men and Freedom stood a chance of defeating? The mind of General Thompson did not know enough information----but he did know the names and locations of men who would know all the details.

The X-men debated for just a few moments what to do. Nightcrawler then teleported General Thompson back to earth, and then went down again to bring up someone who would be able to give them all the specifics they needed.

The X-men sat around the meeting room table, discussing their next course of action. They had learned a lot of information from the two other FOH higher-ups that they had brought on board. They now knew that they stood a chance at defeating the Cetians alone. A chance, but it would not be easy.

"I say we head over to this Ceti III right now!" Rogue said. "We gotta rescue our guys right away!"

"But we need to consider whether or not we are capable of defeating them," Storm said. "If we fail, we might end up as slaves of the Cetians ourselves."

"We might not have a choice," Beast began. "We have no guarantee whatsoever that Queen Marina will consent to assisting us."

Rogue nodded. "I doesn't make sense for us to sit around here, waiting and hoping that Marina might send us another ship or two when she might say no way."

"If we do that, we'll have wasted a lot of time," Jubilee said. "By the time Angel and Psylocke get within….telepathic range of Jean, and then come back within telepathic range of the Professor, it could be weeks! And the answer, after all that, might still be `no.'"

The debate continued on for quite some time. Many were uncomfortable with potentially placing the 55 rescued mutants at risk. But at last, most of the X-men agreed with the plan. They would not wait for word from Psylocke and Angel. They would proceed to Ceti III and rescue their people themselves.

Freedom was set to its maximum warp speed. The journey to Ceti III was estimated to take three weeks.

The next morning, as Freedom sped towards Ceti III, Charles and Moira were observing their daily ritual of eating breakfast together. Moira looked at Charles. He ate even slower than usual, the look in his eyes was distant. It was more than just fatigue.

"Okay, Charles," Moira began gently, "I dona possess your telepathic abilities, so I must ask you directly. What is wrong?"

She reached for his hand and held it. Her touch caused a jolt of pleasant sensations for Charles. Her soft skin, her warmth. Her touch caused such hope, such longing. And the emotions coming off of Moira were unmistakable.

However, this morning, Charles was not about to dwell on those sort of feelings. He shook his head. "I could hardly sleep last night. I just do not know if we did the right thing yesterday."

"You mean with General Thompson and the two others," Moira said. She had guessed as much at the cause of his mood.

Charles nodded. The X-men (Nightcrawler, specifically) had simply teleported each man back down to where he came from. "We returned them to earth," Charles said. "And we know they are simply going to go back to doing exactly what they had been doing before."

Moira nodded, and Charles continued. "I entered each man's mind. All three of them had tortured innocent mutants to death at one point or another. All three had committed countless rapes. And yet we let them return to earth, where they will pick up where they left off." The X-men had not spent much time debating what to do with the FOH officials. They were too eager to get the information they needed so their men could be rescued. "I think we made a mistake," Charles said.

"Charles," Moira began, "what else could we do? We cannot serve as judge, jury and executioner for them. And what you found from reading their minds is not exactly admissible evidence in a court of law."

"And killing them would not have been right," he said. Though as he looked back down at his plate, he asked himself, `Or would it have been? They have destroyed enough mutants' lives and they will return to destroy more.'

"And," Moira continued, "we couldna exactly keep them imprisoned on board Freedom forever. Feeding them and keeping them under watch would have put a strain on our resources." Moira gave his hand a squeeze.

"How do you feel about the decision?"

"Leading a moral life is never an easy thing, you know that," Moira answered. "There will always be such occasions with no easy resolution. I think this is one of those times. Letting them go might have been the best resolution among a list of unsatisfactory choices."

"I wonder if we could have taken them to An'zhina with us. Perhaps we could have worked with them and helped them to realize that their actions against mutants were wrong. Then perhaps we could have sent them back to earth and asked them to convince others in Friends of Humanity."

"That's quite a tall order there, Charles. I doubt they would have been receptive to that, since it would have involved taking them away from their homes and their families indefinitely." Moira tilted her head. "But it's not a bad idea. Perhaps we can think of a way to resuscitate FOH members, convince them that they are wrong. Of course," she said gravely, "FOH has millions of members, and countless supporters who are not members but who do not object to what they do. That is a lot of minds to alter."

"Changing the minds of millions of people is extremely challenging, but that is how social movements work. The civil rights movement, the women's movement, the environmental movement----virtually every movement for human rights began with what seemed like ridiculous ideas at the time and worked to change the way people thought about them." He silently added that influencing public opinion was precisely what he and the X-men had hoped to do, back when they lived on earth. Obviously they had failed on that one.

"Continue to think big, Charles. One way or another, we have to change the minds of people on earth. It might take decades, but it is something that needs to be done." Moira then smiled. "This is weighty subject matter for so early in the morning. You know, Charles once we get Logan, Bobby and Gambit back, I would like to plan a celebration. We will get them back."

Charles smiled at her attempt to elevate his mood. He wanted to say, 'Let us not count our chickens before they are hatched.' Instead, he told her he agreed with her. It was good to get his mind off more serious matters for once. As Moira spoke about her ideas for the celebration, Charles ruminated on his feelings for her. He also tried to estimate how long it had been since Banshee had been killed by FOH. He guessed it had been nearly a year now. He knew that Moira had mentally calculated the length of time since Sean's death several times now.

Somehow, I got used to mining. They worked us hard, but they fed and clothed us well. We got decent rest periods. They let me work alongside Logan and Remy, but they yelled at us and used the collar on us if we talked too much or even looked the wrong way. By the time I settled into my sleeping bag at night, almost every muscle in my body ached. We never got to go outside or see the sky. We worked every day too; obviously the concept of the weekend was not known here.

Gambit kept our spirits up. Although Wolverine told him a few times to "quit actin' like Mary Popins," Gambit kept reassuring us that we'd think of a way to escape or the other X-men would rescue us. I clung onto the belief that he was right.

At night, we slept alongside each other. Not touching, of course, but right next to each other. "Soon we gonna be back on board Freedom," Gambit whispered. "Rogue gonna be back in my arms and Northstar in yours."

"God I hope so," I said in reply.

"Trust me, Bobby, Gambit be right on this one. We outta here before you know it."

"What the hell are you smoking, Gumbo?" Logan, sleeping on Gambit's other side, muttered.

Perhaps four days after our arrival, we were in for a shock. All meals were eaten in one large, dark room. After standing in a cafeteria style line, we sat on crates at tables that appeared to be made of stone. During the mid-day meal, Wolverine gestured for Gambit and I to come over his way. All communications had to be subtle and nothing could be sudden----otherwise the guards would notice. Gambit and I noticed some indirect signals in Logan's communication, so we walked over to him as swiftly as possible without it looking unusual.

Banshee sat there! We were stunned. Moira MacTaggert had told us that FOH had sent her a letter stating he had been killed.

Noticing the four of us, two guards stepped forward to maintain a closer watch on us. We were allowed to talk, but intermittently and we had to make it sound like we were chatting about nothing in particular.

First off, Sean wanted to know about his wife and daughter. We told him that Siryn was safe on An'zhina. Explaining what and where An'zhina was provided another challenge. But he got the gist, at least, that she was alright. We also told him we thought Moira was probably safe. We explained about Freedom and our adventures during the past two years as best we could.

We were able to get information from Sean as well. He told us something we already knew----anyone who tried to escape or acted up in any way was tortured and killed. He said that three other mutants had been taken here along with him, but all had been killed by the guards---two because of an escape attempt and one for provoking a fight with another slave. He told us that he'd learned the Cetians' economy revolved around mining and processing this substance, benzite and that FOH was wanting to expand the trafficking of slaves here.

"I don't see much of a way to escape, lads," Sean told us. "This place is so well guarded. And these blasted collars. There is no way to get them off, and if you take two steps towards a guard, he reacts instantly and tortures you."

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

Sean shrugged. "Perhaps a year now." He looked horrible. Not physically, but mentally. He must have seen the look on my face. "Hearing that Siryn and Moira are safe is the best thing that has happened to me here. I thank you."

"We gonna find a way out of here," Remy said low.

Sean hushed him. "Quiet! Some of the guards are starting to learn English, I think."

So that was our reunion with Banshee. His assigned sleeping room was far from ours, but we were generally allowed to eat our meals with him.

Storm found Rogue sitting at the helm of the ship. "There you are," Storm said. She smiled. "Sitting in the captain's chair is not going to make our voyage any quicker."

"I can't believe we got two more weeks before we get there. I gotta rescue Remy now!"

"Rogue," Storm said, placing a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Relax. When the time comes to fight and rescue, we shall be ready. Think of the good news. Our X-men are almost certainly alive."

"I knew Remy wasn't dead!" Rogue said. "I would have sensed it if he was. We love each other too much."

Storm smiled. "I do worry, though, that you might be over-training. I think you've spent every waking hour in the Danger Room."

"Yeah," Rogue said, shrugging.

"Working your muscles to fatigue isn't going to do any good."

"But—"  


"Yes, I know, you have super-strength and a stronger physique than almost anyone. But even you have your limits. You need to take breaks."

"What the heck do you think I'm doing now?" Rogue asked. The two women shared a laugh.

"Promise me you'll take it easier tomorrow?"

"Anything for you, Storm."

I did something that I'm not proud of. For a few days, I had noticed one of my fellow prisoners giving me unmistakable looks and gestures. He was from another planet and he and I didn't speak the same language, but his meaning was fairly obvious. So, a few times he and I had sex in the showers, a thin curtain shielding us from the rest of the washroom. Yeah, I know, say what you will. It had been more than two years since I'd had sex and I was desperate for some touch. I felt disgusting afterwards each time and it just made me long for my beautiful Northstar.

We weren't the only ones giving each other head in the bathrooms either. All the slaves were males, not a female in sight and some men, it seemed, had been here for years. Quite frequently you'd hear sounds coming from or see two pairs of shoes in the shower stall or toilet stall next to yours. When your life consists of nothing but endless labor, and eating and sleeping are the only activities in your life that are mildly pleasurable….well, some people will go seek out a third fun thing to do.

Queen Marina was angst-ridden. She blinked and glanced again at her view-screen, at the imploring looks on the faces of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. Taking a deep breath, she tried to register the jolt of being woken up from a sound sleep and then this outlandish request. Their request was excessive. How could she do as they asked without facing the wrath of the Executive Council?

"Marina, I **beg** you," Jean said. She spread her arms. "I have nothing that I can offer you. All I can do is get down on my knees and beg you to help us." At the risk of looking melodramatic, Jean did just that. Scott joined his wife, getting down on his knees. The view-screen's camera automatically lowered itself so the couple remained in view.

"Please," Scott said. "Please help us. We know how much you respect the X-men. You surely don't want three core members of the team to die."

Less than an hour beforehand, Jean had woken in the middle of the night with a start. She had shaken Scott awake. "What's wrong, my love?" he asked, sitting up, fearing it might be something with the unborn child.

"It's Psylocke," Jean said, rubbing her temples. "She just contacted me. She and Angel are in a shuttle heading back here." It was now a couple of days past when Jean expected to be telepathically contacted by the Professor. She and Scott had been starting to get a bit worried. Jean relayed everything that Psylocke had told her. "Wolverine, Gambit and Bobby were captured by the FOH on the last rescue mission. The others don't know if they are alive or not. But if they are alive, they think that we need help from the Endarians if we're to rescue them."

And so, less than an hour later, Jean had called Queen Marina on her private line. The Queen gave her this communicator to be used in the event of an emergency. This was the first time Jean had used it. She knew she would be waking the Queen up from her sleep.

Marina rubbed her eyes. Her "associate" Baran had been sleeping next to her and immediately joined her, his hair disheveled and eyes sleepy. "You are correct that we have extremely fast starships," Marina finally said. She shrugged. "We have vessels fast enough that you could be at earth within a week. But we are very protective of our starships. We gave you a moon that no one wanted. It was no big deal to anyone----the planet Endaria is huge and sparsely populated and we have so many moons. But lending you a starship is an entirely different matter. Entirely different," she repeated.

"Please at least consider it," Scott urged.

"I will talk to the Executive Council tomorrow morning," Marina said. "It is too big of a request for me to make the decision myself. I might be a monarch but there is still a constitution and an elected Executive Council that I must follow." She paused and took a deep breath. "I will see what I can do. Many on the council owe me favors and I can pull as many strings as possible. I think, though, that half of the Council will consider me insane for even making this request. But I will do the best I can. Goodnight." With that, Marina turned the connection off.

Scott and Jean looked at each other. Jean then "told" Psylocke what had happened. Psylocke and Angel would continue, of course, to head for An'zhina.

Jean and Scott did not sleep anymore that night. Ironically, Charlotte slept quietly and peacefully, but the baby's parents just lay spooned together. Things had been going so well on An'zhina. The rescued mutants were bonding over the activities that Scott and Jean supervised----the building of the monument to the mutants who had been killed, the group healing ceremonies that Jean led, and the sessions where everyone spoke about growing up and went through exercises designed to help them learn to trust.

"I wonder why the others think that they might still be alive," Jean finally said. She loved the enveloping feel of Scott's muscular arms around her. His strong, solid physique allowed Jean to fool herself into believing she would be safe, she would be protected.

"Jean," Scott said softly.

"Well, really. Why would FOH keep them alive? They're X-men and they're partly responsible for the killing of the FOH soldiers on Freedom. Why wouldn't FOH execute them…..unless to torture them?!"

"Jean, please don't think that way. It won't do any good. The Professor, Storm and the others must have strongly felt there was a chance that they are alive or they wouldn't have sent Warren and Betsy this way."

Jean's head continued to spin. "Even if Marina says yes, we might be far too late. And even if Logan, Remy and Bobby are alive, maybe a starship or two won't do any good. Betsy said FOH pretty much overwhelmed them at their last attempt to free a mutant camp."

"Try to think positively," Scott said. "Maybe FOH is keeping them alive for some reason. If Marina is able to grant our request, we can free them. The Endarians have such advanced technology."

"I cannot stand this waiting and not knowing! Oh Scott. I can't bear the thought of Logan and the others being hurt….being tortured by FOH."

"Do not think of that, my love. We can't do anything about it right now. Think of good things. Didn't Betsy say that the others were successful in getting the picture of us to your family? Think of how happy your parents and sister must be now to know that you are safe."

Jean began to sob. "Jeanie," Scott said, holding her more closely.

"I'm feeling sorry for myself right now," Jean blurted out. "I'm wishing for a normal life."  
  
"We all wish for that at times. But if we weren't mutants, you and I would never have met."

"We don't know that. You and I are fated to be together. I think we would have met one way or another."

"Perhaps."

"I'm never going to let you go, Slim."

Jean turned to face him and they kissed deeply. The couple began to slowly make love. Even as their bodies joined together, Scott's thoughts began to race. If Marina did allow them to use a starship, who would pilot it? Psylocke and Angel were still a week away from An'zhina. Maybe Jean would have to let him go, and soon…..Scott blocked out those thoughts and concentrated instead on his love for Jean, the pleasure they were bringing each other, the intimacy they shared.

After a sleepless night, Cyclops and Jean Grey waited for a reply from Queen Marina. They knew it would take some time for the regent to speak with the members of the Executive Council and have them reach a decision. So the couple went about their usual morning routine. Scott supervised a group of mutants as they worked on the monument to the deceased mutants. He watched Charlotte during this time and read to her whenever he could take a break. Jean's morning was occupied with a group counseling session and then several one-on-ones. By lunchtime Marina had not yet contacted Scott and Jean with an answer.

In the early afternoon, Jean had a scheduled check-up with an Endarian doctor. The doctor beamed in for the appointment, and the health of Jean and her unborn baby were pronounced excellent. Just as they were finishing up, Marina contacted both Scott and Jean. Within moments, the two X-men were assembled in front of a view screen.

"I was able to obtain one starship for you to borrow," Marina said, in her usual businesslike manner. "We call the ship the Valiant." As Scott and Jean exchanged smiles, Marina paused and sighed. "I had to pull quite a few favors to get this. I might," she began enigmatically, "ask for a favor in return sometime." She then returned to her normal efficient style. "However, I understand that time is of the essence for you and we can discuss this at a later time. The Valiant is on auto-pilot towards An'zhina right now and should be there in a matter of minutes. The top speed of this vessel is warp 10, so you will find it far faster than Freedom now. It has weaponry that greatly surpasses Freedom as well."

Marina went on to give the X-men a bit more information about the ship. She warned them that the vessel was not quite as user-friendly as Freedom and would take a bit more time to learn how to use.

As soon as the Valiant landed, Jean and Scott boarded it. They briefly inspected the ship.

"This shouldn't be so bad," Scott said, sitting on the main bridge. The bridge was about four times the size of Freedom's bridge. Jean looked around, almost feeling swallowed up by the spacious control center. Scott noticed Charlotte crawling towards a control panel, and promptly scooped her up. "I think we can learn how to operate this. The ship is more complex and can do more than Freedom, but the user-interface with the main computer is extremely user-friendly."

Jean turned her gaze to Scott. "So, what do we do now?" she asked. "Warren and Betsy are over 6 days away from here."

Scott began his reply, knowing that she already knew what he would say. "Well, I was thinking about that last night. Maybe I can pilot this ship out there to meet them. This ship is so fast, I can rendezvous with them in probably 2 days."

"I knew that's what you were thinking of."

"And I knew you wouldn't like the idea."

"No, no," Jean shook her head. "My emotional reaction to it is beside the point. It's the right thing to do. Time is of the essence. For all we know, Wolverine, Gambit and Bobby are already dead now." As she said the words, Jean knew she didn't believe them. Or at least, that reality had not sunk in. "But we must act as though they are not. It doesn't make sense for us to sit here and wait for Warren and Betsy to get here when there are lives at stake. For all we know, every day---every hour----counts."

Scott nodded. He reached for one of Jean's hands and held it. "We are of one mind here. As we always are, my love. I do not want to be apart from you and Charlotte and the other one on the way. It goes against what every fiber in my body wants to do. But…."

"But duty calls," Jean said. She said the words completely without bitterness. She understood and knew that he understood.

"Any of them would do the same for us. We need to do whatever we can so that our teammates have the best chance of getting out of this alive."

"Scott," she began, an idea having just popped into her head, "once you meet up with Warren and Betsy….can't you take their shuttle back here? They could continue on board this ship but you could return to me in their shuttle. That way, we would only be apart for a few days!" As she said the words, Charlotte crawled from her father's lap to her mothers. Jean held the baby.

Scott looked down. "What do you think, Jean? I—I guess I could. But the X-men could probably use me on the rescue mission."

There was a long pause as Scott and Jean looked at each other. "I know," he whispered, sensing her thoughts. They continued to grasp each other's hands. The last time they had been so far apart was during the grueling Phoenix saga. After that, they had vowed to never part again.

"Well, we survived that," Jean said. "If anything happens….perhaps we will find a way to survive that as well. It's just that….this will mean we'll be separated for weeks now. If we're lucky, it will only be a few weeks. It could be much longer." 'It could be forever!' she thought. If he met the same fate as Wolverine, Gambit and Bobby….

"Don't think like that, Jean. We have to be optimistic. Maybe nothing will happen on this mission. Maybe the other X-men have already rescued Bobby and the others and we are worrying over nothing." As he said the words though, fear was churning in Scott's belly. Looking back, he had no idea how he'd survived life without Jean during the Phoenix saga. He began to truly doubt whether he'd be able to live without her again. But Jean and Charlotte would be safe on An'zhina. **He** was the one who would be at risk.

"I know," Jean said softly, picking up on all of his thoughts. "And maybe I am not as strong as you are. Because I can't imagine being apart from you. And I can't imagine Charlotte surviving without you."

"Jean," he began softly.

She shook her head and quieted him. "You are right. We both know what we must do. We must separate---you need to go on this rescue mission."

They both knew they were wasting precious time. Scott picked up Charlotte and held her, gently cooing to her. "Daddy will miss you. Daddy will be back soon," he murmured. As Scott looked into Charlotte's blue eyes he saw, as he often did, such depth and he again had the feeling that she somehow understood everything. He kissed the baby several times. "I love you, Charlotte." The baby began to wail loudly, and Scott held her, soothing her, until she quieted.

Placing Charlotte down onto a chair, Scott and Jean stepped into a wordless embrace. There was nothing left to say. //How am I going to fall asleep without you next to me?//

//I was wondering the same thing.// It had been, well, years since either had to try to sleep without being wrapped in the other's arms. Not counting those awful nights they'd spent as prisoners of FOH, though neither had really slept then.

Scott stepped back slightly and placed a hand on Jean's pregnant abdomen. "I'll be back before our new arrival."

"I hope so. You have three and a half months." Jean then reached to kiss him. Their kiss lasted several long, sad moments. "Every day, every year we're together," Jean began. "I love you more and more."

"And I, you. My love for you and my respect for you grows constantly. I thank God every day for bringing you into my life."

Minutes later, many of the new inhabitants of An'zhina were waving goodbye to Scott via the Valiant's monitor. They would miss him. During the weeks together, Scott had really earned the respect of virtually everyone. Many of the younger men and women had been starting to view Scott as their surrogate uncle. Seeing tears in Jean's eyes, a few of the women moved to comfort her, eager at the chance to reciprocate. She had done so much to help them.

The faint reddish glow from the rock walls of the sleeping room never dimmed. The overhead light bulb was never turned off either, and guards continually monitored the sleeping room via cameras. Wolverine, Gambit and Iceman had their sleeping bags arranged in a row, as usual. Bobby had fallen asleep the second he'd hit the pillow, for once.

Many of the other slaves spoke quietly before preparing for bed or played games. Gambit lay on his mat, on his back with one leg crossed over the other and his hands behind his head. "The other X-men, dey rescue us soon. Jus' a matter of time."

Wolverine muttered an incoherent reply. Damn Cajun. Always blathering that they would be rescued "any day now." Logan grew more and more aggravated at how tight the security down there was. A few days ago, they had witnessed a slave attempting to escape. The subsequent torture and dismembering of the slave had not been pleasant. Although he was looking every second for an opportunity, the chance to escape without getting killed had not yet shown itself, nor did it look Likely to appear.

"Any day now my chere gonna be back in my arms," Gambit went on. "I miss her so much. I bet she and Storm comforting each other a lot now 'dough." Even as he said the words, Gambit knew he was attempting to convince himself more than anyone. The absence of Rogue was like a constant ache in his side. He also had to fight the gnawing feelings of guilt he experienced day in and day out, wondering if he had somehow dropped the ball or been responsible for their kidnapping.

Wolverine grunted something that sounded like, "Probably."

"Storm is good at dat kind of t'ing. She always good to my chere. God I miss my Rogue. I love her more dan anything." Gambit paused and turned his head towards Wolverine. "So what about you, Logan? You missin' Storm?"

"Of course I miss her," Wolverine replied. Where was Gumbo going now? After a while of being confined together, you run out of conversational topics and sometimes voyage into areas you wouldn't normally discuss.

"You love her?" Gambit asked. He honestly wondered. Rogue had told him what Storm had once told her: that Storm and Wolverine were lovers but not really in love, not a regular couple. Perceptive Gambit, though, wondered what their feelings for each other truly were.

"No."

"No? You really don't love Storm?"

Wolverine sighed. He was bored. He would indulge the nosy Cajun. "We're friends. I care about her. We don't got the love that you and Rogue got."

"Sometimes I t'ink I sense otherwise, mon ami."

"Well you ain't no telepath and you don't know shit about what I feel, Gumbo. Life ain't a fairytale."

"No, life sure ain't no fairytale. But Gambit t'ink that you feel for Storm more dan you admit."

"Ain't you the gossipy old woman today. I don't love Storm and I never will. Jean Grey has my heart. Always has and always will."

"Well, Gambit t'ink it high time you got your head outta the clouds. Jean ain't never gonna leave Cyke. You got yourself a beautiful woman who loves you. Gambit t'ink you crazy for not seein' dat." Several seconds passed and no reply from Logan. Remy continued, "But maybe you like it dat way. What's your deal, Wolverine? You like bein' miserable? You rather sit around mourin' the one you ain't gonna have rather dan go wit' the one who do love you?"

Logan reached for the blankets, and covered himself with one. "Shut up, Cajun," he said, though his voice didn't sound nearly as harsh as it could have. "I wanna get some shut-eye and yer keepin' me up.."

Scott tossed and turned in his bed. The sole living being on board the Valiant, his heart ached for Jean and for Charlotte. Being alone on a huge, alien starship hurling towards a potentially very dangerous rescue mission----Scott could handle that. Being apart from his wife and daughter, however, was another matter. Their absence was a gaping wound in his side.

Scott shifted his body weight towards a more comfortable position, trying to let his mind go and drift asleep. The sheets and pillows smelled of sterile cleaning materials, not of Jean's warmth. Scott was exhausted, having spent the last 10 hours reading and learning as much about this foreign starship as he could and practicing simulated battle situations. But there was no Jean to cuddle up next to. No smiling, cheery baby would be waking them up in the morning.

//I miss you too.//

"Jean?" Scott spoke the words, whispering inside the dark room. "You can still speak into my mind?" He tried to **think** the words into her mind but sensed it was not getting through.

//We'll be together again soon. Charlotte says hi. She misses your reading and playing with her. I love you, Scott.//

"I love you too, Jean." Scott fell back against the pillow, this time feeling calm and comforted. Her presence was still with him. It always would be. `Just a matter of time before I'm home.'

After a couple of days, Cyclops met up with Psylocke and Angel's shuttle. They docked the shuttle inside the Valiant.

"Are you coming with us, Betsy?" Cyclops asked. "Or would you prefer to take the shuttle back to An'zhina and stay there?"

"Why would I want to return to An'zhina now?" Betsy replied. Scott looked at her face and thought he detected some of her old spark, spark that had definitely been missing the last time he had seen her. "I'm an X-man and I want to take part on this mission." Scott noticed Warren's face had a slight smile on it as Betsy spoke those words.

The Valiant then warped in the direction of earth, under cloak. They would use Psylocke's telepathic powers to hook them up with the Professor and help them locate the cloaked Freedom.

You know, the living conditions weren't as awful as they could have been. I don't know why, but I kept trying to look on the bright side. Every day, our clothes were coated in soot, and we were instructed to strip them off, and then we were provided with a clean change of clothes. We had bathrooms and showers and halfway decent food. We had rest breaks. Gambit dearly missed his deck of cards, but the other slaves showed us a game that involved making lines in the dirt and moving sticks and stones around. It wasn't half bad.

I had good days and bad days. Despite our rest breaks, the physical labor was exhausting. My legs, back and arms constantly ached. Some nights, I cried myself to sleep, trying to muffle my sobs, overwhelmed with despair. Banshee had been a prisoner for almost a year---who knew how long we would be slaves and whether we'd ever be free. A few times during a crying spell, I felt Remy put an arm around me or otherwise try to comfort me. My eyes and my soul cried out for a glimpse of sunlight. We lived and breathed underground. I dreamt of the Paradise planet and wished desperately I was back there, basking in the cool waters. I missed everyone like crazy----Hank, Jubilee, Jean-Paul. Everyone. I would recall the sounds of their voices at night to help me feel better. Sometimes I despaired because I could not remember exactly what Jean-Paul looked like.

But a lot of the time, I was actually doing ok. Gambit kept saying that we'd either think of a way to escape or we'd be rescued, and we'd be back with the other X-men in no time. Most of the time, I just told myself that I had to believe him and that he had to be right.

  
We generally ate with Banshee at all mealtimes. He'd ask us to recount every tiny detail we might recall about Siryn and Moira, and how they were doing since Freedom had rescued them. He looked hopeful that he'd see them again. "Ever since you showed me that Charles Xavier and the X-men are still around and still active, I've known we'll be freed someday," Sean would say. "We just need to stay alive and stay out of trouble."

And Wolverine? Well, he was Wolverine. All things considered, he seemed to be holding up well.

Freedom raced towards Ceti III, perhaps a week away from it still. Storm had been supervising all of the X-men's training, ensuring they were all in peak condition for the upcoming battle. She knew it would be one of the most difficult ever for them. She had been almost relentless in monitoring their drills and training sessions. She even had convinced Panda to begin training as an X-man, though she would not be going into battle this time, as it was far too early.

"They're nearby," the Professor said, suddenly one afternoon as he and Storm were watching the other X-men train. He touched his hand to his temple. "Psylocke and Angel are on board an Endarian starship with Cyclops! And they are rapidly heading towards earth."

Storm's eyes widened. "Then Queen Marina did agree to help us!"

The Professor was silent for a bit. "I just gave Betsy our coordinates. She has them…..She believes they can be here in under 48 hours."

"That is one extremely swift vessel!" Storm exclaimed. "The Endarians must have an amazing power source."

The X-men cheered when they heard that the others had been successful in their mission to procure a starship from the Endarians. They continued to head for Ceti III, and the Valiant met up with them a scant 46 hours later.

The Valiant was perhaps four times the size of Freedom. When the two ships met up, the Valiant actually beamed Freedom aboard, inside one of its massive docking bays. It made more sense for them to do that, as waiting for Freedom to catch up with it would vastly slow down the mission, and it would be difficult to maintain the cloaking device if the Valiant were to cloak Freedom.

Once Freedom was secured inside the Valiant's main cargo bay, the large Endarian vessel then resumed warping towards Ceti III.

"It is so good to see you again, my friend," Beast said to Cyclops. They sat on the bridge of the Valiant with Panda, Cyclops having just shown Beast and Panda how to work the controls. Panda sat there, her eyes wide. She was glad Hank seemed to understand everything. The controls on the bridge of Freedom, she could operate----but the workings of the Valiant may as well have been in Greek. She could tell from looking at Hank that he was getting it, but Cyclops's quick explanation went straight over her head.

"Thank you, Hank," Scott said, sitting back against his chair. His back ached and he was exhausted. Ever since the Valiant had rendezvoused with Freedom, Cyclops, Angel and Psylocke had spent every waking hour trying to get the rest of the X-men up to speed on the workings of the Valiant.

Hank wanted to say more, say some words of sympathy for Scott since he obviously missed his wife and child. It had been evident from the moment Hank had seen Scott's face that Scott was not doing well, being away from Jean and Charlotte.

Scott looked at his watch. "If you'll excuse me," he said. "I promised Storm and the Professor that I would take them through another look at the engine room."

"Should I be there as well?" Hank asked. "A refresher might be helpful for me."

Scott shrugged. "If you want."

Panda placed a furry hand on her love's arm. "Hank, perhaps a rest would be helpful for you too," she said softly. "You might be brilliant but I think there's a limit to how much even you can absorb. And you've been at it all day."

Hank looked at Panda, felt his heart fill at the tenderness on her face. "There is wisdom in your words, my love. Perhaps you are right."

Cyclops watched their interaction, for once feeling the sting of jealousy himself. It was painful, so painful….going through every day, knowing that his wife and baby were halfway across the galaxy. As much as he absorbed himself in his work, not a second passed that his heart didn't yearn for them. He took his leave of Hank and Panda, and headed for the massive engineering room.

"Poor guy," Panda said.

Hank nodded. "But we must think positively. If our mission goes well, we will rescue Bobby and the others, and return to An'zhina in no time. Scott will be back with Jean and their daughter soon."

"You seem like you've been feeling better."

Hank nodded. "Yes. I have been feeling much more optimistic about our rescue mission since experiencing this ship. It is far more powerful than Freedom. Of course, we do not know what to expect from the Cetians…."

"Yes," Panda said. "Fear of the unknown. We don't know how powerful these people are."

"By and large, we do not. However, the we got an idea from the minds of the FOH officials that the Professor tapped into. We do not **think** that they will overwhelm us. Of course…" his voice trailed off.

"Of course we really don't know."

"All we can do is prepare to the utmost and hope for the best." Hank glanced at one of the monitors. "You know, someday I would love to really explore this area of space. We have never been in it before, as we are travelling away from Endaria and the Paradise planet. We are passing by many inhabited worlds. What I wouldn't give to study this someday," he mused. "Of course, our first order of business is rescuing our fellow X-men."

"I think it will go well. Everyone is so well trained. Before you know it, we'll have Bobby back."

Hank looked at Panda, and Panda saw the pain in his eyes. "I dearly hope so. I miss my friend so much." Panda put her arms around him. He went on, "I want to thank you again for everything you've done for me. You've been so kind to listen to me all the time with----"

"Hank, don't be silly. I love you, you big dope! What are lovers for??"

Hank smiled at being referred to as a 'big dope.' "Your attempt at levity was very helpful, my love," he said, returning her embrace wholeheartedly. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"We'll get Bobby and the others back….Just you wait and see!"

The Valiant entered the area of space that they knew was controlled by the Cetarians. Three X-men stood at their stations on the bridge and another two in engineering. Cyclops had been on break, but once the vessel entered Cetarian space, the Professor asked him to join them on the bridge. He was most skilled at the workings of this strange ship, though the others had been working diligently to become proficient in it as well.

"Looks like we're safe," Cyclops said, sitting in the captain's chair. "If they can detect our cloak, they're not showing it."

Storm looked down at her monitor. "No sign of any strange activity here, either." She looked back up, nearly disoriented for a second. This bridge was huge, unlike Freedom's bridge where more than a handful of people could not comfortably fit. On the Valiant, she practically had to shout across the room to make sure those on the other end heard her.

"Let's get in our places," Cyclops said, speaking into the intercom. "We're ready to execute our plan."

Several minutes later, Professor X, Moira, Beast, Panda, Shaman's wife and daughter, Jeanne-Marie's son and the 55 mutants who had been brought on board during the X-men's last rescue mission had been boarded Freedom. The cloaked Freedom ship then disembarked from the Valiant's cargo bay. Their mission would be to distract the Cetians from the other, larger ship. Hank would steer the ship and work the phasers, along with help from the Professor. Much debate surrounded the idea of having the 55 rescued mutants remain on board this vessel, but eventually all agreed that things would be much safer on Freedom than on the other ship.

With the Valiant leading the way, the two cloaked ships traveled closer and closer to the planet on which the other X-men were being held captive. Still no reaction from the Cetians, though one Cetian starship was visible in the immediate area.

"I sense them!" the Professor said via an intercom that transmitted to both ships. "I sense all three of them. They are alive and well."

Rogue screamed, jumping up and down, her fists pumping in the air. Similar cries of happiness could be heard on both ships. Hank and Panda looked at each other, Hank grinning with joy. "Can we beam them up from here?" Hank asked aloud.

At the same time Hank asked his question, the Professor gasped. "What is it, Charles?" Moira asked. Moira stood on the bridge, trying to remain as off to the side as possible.

"Another mutant is with them," the Professor said. He looked at Moira with an astonished expression on his features. The instant before he spoke, she knew what he was going to say. "Banshee."

"Oh dear God!" Moira exclaimed, her face turning white. She stood with her mouth open, stunned.

Storm stood on the bridge of the Valiant, focussed as ever. She heard the Professor and Moira's exchange, but she also had heard Hank's question. "I do not think we can beam them up from here," she said, her fingers working madly on her keyboard as she stared at the read-outs on her monitor. "The sensors on this ship can pick up mutant lifeforms, and it looks like the other X-men are…." Her voice trailed off

Storm and Cyclops looked at each other.

"Are what??" Jubilee asked, leaning over Storm's shoulder.

"Underground," Storm finished. "They are miles and miles under the surface."

Moira, still shocked, tried to kick her brain into gear. She heard Storm's words over the communications link up. "But they are still unharmed, right?" she asked, looking at Charles.

"Yes," the Professor answered, as stunned as Moira. "They are all four alive and in decent condition mentally."

"Our transporters can't penetrate that," Cyclops said, looking at the read-outs on his monitor. "There's some sort of rock that our transporters can't get through. We're going to need to go down there ourselves and get them out."

The transport of 10 X-men to the surface had forced the Valiant to decloak for a second. As expected, the second after the ship had decloaked, the Cetian starship moved in. A second Cetian starship decloaked and began to fire at the Valiant. They made no attempt at communicating with the X-men; they simply went in with guns blazing.

Nightcrawler remained on board the Valiant, fending off the attacking ships. The Cetians had potent weaponry, but so did the X-men.

Meanwhile, Beast sat on the bridge of Freedom, darting the ship around and returning the fire of the Cetians. As Freedom was still cloaked and extremely maneuverable, it proved a difficult target. Both Beast and Nightcrawler used their respective firepower to stave off the other two ships but were not shooting to destroy the enemy ships.

Cyclops, Storm, Rogue, Angel, Psylocke, Jubilee, Colossus, Marrow, Northstar and Jeanne-Marie successfully reached the surface of this world. (As she had during the rescue mission on earth, Jubilee had left her daughter in the care of Elena. The Russian woman was happy to help.) "They're directly below us," Psylocke said, sensing her teammates. "But way far down from here."

"We got trouble comin'!" Rogue exclaimed, as ominous-looking aircraft approached.

Storm rose into the air, spread her arms majestically in the direction of the aircraft, and smiled as she summoned heavy winds to repel the fighter planes. With a great whoooosh, the planes were hurled back through the air before they could even fire their first shot.

Meanwhile, Cyclops blasted a hole in the ground----a large hole. "This should get us down there!" Their pathway to the mine was cleared.

"C'mon!" he said. In the space of a few seconds, Rogue grabbed Cyclops with one arm and Colossus with the other and flew down towards the mine. Storm hefted Marrow in her arms and followed. Angel then picked up Psylocke and sped down after the others. Jeanne-Marie and Northstar looked at each other and then at Jubilee. Northstar had only one arm, and Jeanne-Marie was not the physically strongest of people.

"Maybe, petit', you could sort of piggyback on me," Northstar said. "That might work but you will need to hang on tight."

"Let's try it," Jubilee said.

"Okay," Northstar said. Jubilee got behind the French-Canadian, hitched her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Remember, we go fast!" he warned.

"I'm ready," Jubilee said.

With that, Northstar and his sister vanished in a spilt second, using their mutant power of hyper-speed to descend the pathway that Cyclops had cleared. The brother-sister duo and Jubilee beat all the others down, as it took them less than a second. Jeanne-Marie, Jubilee, and Northstar then looked around. They were standing in some sort of mine. A loud alarm sounded and uniformed guards rushed up.

"This will stop them!" Northstar said, looking at his sister. He and Jeanne-Marie grasped hands. Another of their mutant powers gave them the ability to create a blinding light when they joined hands. Jubilee used her own powers to create the same effect. Several guards were incapacitated as the blazing light forced them to shut their eyes and stop in their tracks. Momentarily, the other X-men arrived on the scene.

More guards rushed to the scene as the alarm continued to blare. Cyclops shot out several stunning laser blasts, forcing the guards back. More guards ran up. Rogue flew over them, and grabbed three in her arms. She flew them over to a huge vat full of some liquid. Storm then used her powers to freeze the liquid over, thereby confining those guards. Storm then shot out lightening bolts at any other guards who came their way. The terrified soldiers retreated. Marrow snapped off a few bones and eagerly engaged in hand-to-hand combat with two of the men. She easily won. A third soldier, however, aimed a rifle in Marrow's direction. Jubilee spotted him and used her fireworks to force him to drop his weapon. Meanwhile Colossus fended off the remaining soldiers by changing into his invulnerable form. The blasts from their weapons couldn't harm him and as he continued in their direction, the soldiers screamed and ran. Peter walked up to and confiscated the weapons of those who were stupid enough to not flee the giant.

Psylocke touched her hands to her temple. "They're this way!" she exclaimed over the noise of the battle. "C'mon!"

The X-men raced down a wide hallway, following Psylocke. The guards didn't know quite what hit them. Some of them were called to the scene and tried to stop the X-men, but many ran away in terror. Those who did try to slow the X-men's progress faced Jubilee's pyrotechnics. Her fireworks sent several of them flying. Others were simply blinded. No one could impede the X-mens' progress.

Meanwhile, the prisoners didn't know what to make of the confusion. Several terrified men went scurrying towards their sleeping quarters. Others hung back in the hallways, watching the action. Most, however, made a run for the elevators and shuttles that would take them to the surface and to possible liberation.

The four X-men who were being held as prisoners had a very good idea what was happening. They ran in the direction of the noise.

Rogue spotted them first. They were disheveled and clad in sooty clothing, but Rogue ran right up to them. "Remy!" she exclaimed.

Gambit picked her up and whirled her around. "I knew you'd come, chere!"

"This is no time for that stuff!" Wolverine barked. Rogue wasn't listening, beyond thrilled to be in Remy's arms again. Too awed to speak, she simply stepped back and used her strength to snap off Gambit's collar. She did the same for Wolverine, Iceman, and Banshee.

At this point, the fourteen X-men comprised an unstoppable army. Nothing the remaining brave soldiers could toss at them would defeat them. A half dozen new guards rounded a bend and approached the X-men, but before they could fire a weapon, they were incapacitated by Banshee's wailing.

The only problem the X-men faced was in getting back up to the surface. It required a couple of trips, but they made it. Nightcrawler had his hands full fending off the Cetian vessels but Psyclocke "told" him telepathically when they were able to be transported up. Pressing a few buttons, the German beamed his friends back aboard the Valiant.

Wielding her tricorder, Panda pushed Gambit back onto his infirmary bed. "Hold still! And Rogue, would you please step away from Gambit for just a few seconds so I can take a reading on him??"

"Gambit's fine, Panda," Gambit said, sitting up. Rogue remained glued to him, her arms wrapped around his torso. "Got me all the care I need," he said, tilting his head towards his beloved. Rogue ran her gloved fingers through his hair, touching his face. She looked at him with total love in her eyes. Gambit lazily reclined into her arms.

Panda threw up her hands in exasperation, looking across sick bay at Hank. They exchanged a look. Wolverine and Banshee had similarly brushed off any attempt at a simple medical scan. Banshee was with Moira somewhere now.

Beast returned his attentions to Bobby, his one cooperative patient. Bobby obediently lay back on one of the infirmary beds and allowed himself to be scanned. Northstar sat in a chair next to Bobby's bed. "Other than the fact that your diet has not been the healthiest and you need to consume more fruits and vegetables and vitamin D, you are in fine health," Hank said, reading the results from the tricorder. Hank then looked tenderly at his best friend. "But how do you feel?"

"I'm tired. And I think I'm starved for some sunlight. But I'm okay," Bobby said. "I survived it."

Beast set his tricorder down and moved from his role as Dr McCoy to his role as Hank. He hugged his friend. "I missed you dearly. I was worried sick day in and day out."

"I missed you too. But I always knew you'd rescue us. Er----well, Gambit kept saying so. He made us believe it."

Hank felt Bobby somewhat limply returning the embrace. Northstar noticed it too. "You **are** tired, mon ami. Why don't you get some sleep now?" Jean-Paul asked.

"You are free to leave sick bay," Hank said. "If you need anything, please call me at any time."

"I think sleep **would** be a good idea," Bobby said, twisting his body and setting his feet on the floor. Northstar used his one arm to help steady him and escort him to his room.

"Can we go now, Hank?" Gambit called, from a few beds down.

'Yeah!" Rogue said. "Remy and I have some….catching up to do." She and Gambit exchanged a devilish smile, their eyes lighting up.

"You are free to leave sick bay as well. As you know, if you feel unwell, use your communicator to reach me," the doctor replied. "Do not worry about waking me."

"Gambit appreciates the offer but I t'ink maybe Rogue and I not going to talk to anyone else for a while tonight." Gambit then scrambled to his feet and, quick as a wink, swooped Rogue into his arms. "C'mon, chere. Gambit miss your lovin.'"

"I'll show you some lovin', sugar!" Rogue vowed. "We got lost time to make up for!"

"Gambit's up for the challenge."

As they exited the room, Panda looked at Hank and said, "Well, it looks like Gambit isn't suffering from any fatigue right now." The couple shared a laugh. Hank then returned to his reports. Panda watched him as he worked away at the computer, wondering if she should make a remark about following in the other couple's lead….but the moment passed and she lost her nerve. `Someday soon,' she told herself, understanding finally that it would in all likelihood be up to her to make the first move.

Although he'd been transported directly to sick bay, Logan immediately left the infirmary over Beast's protestations. Cyclops chased after him and tried to order him into letting Beast examine him "We just want to make sure that you're truly alright," Scott said, following Wolverine down the hall as the Canadian headed for the gym. "A simple tricorder scan will take two minutes!"

"Told ya, Cyke. I feel fine."

"Okay, but----"  


"Hey, Cyke," Wolverine said, stopping and turning to face him. "I wanna thank you. For coming on this mission to rescue me and the others. I know you'd rather be on An'zhina with Jean. I admire what you did."

Scott was so floored that he stood there with his mouth open and gave up his attempts at cajoling Wolverine back into sick bay. "Thanks," he finally said.

Jubilee and Angel soon joined Wolverine in the gym, and an energetic game of basketball had ensued, with little Rory watching on the sidelines. An exhausted Jubilee and Angel left after the game. Wolverine shared a long hug with Jubilee. As she left his embrace, Jubilee knew he had been right to turn down her offer. Wolverine then remained in the gym, wanting an even more intense workout.

About an hour or two later, Storm found Wolverine working out in the Danger Room. Storm was not surprised to see him in the Danger Room, his face flushed, body clearly energized at being able to move and fight in the way he liked, able to use his claws again. Storm continued to silently observe him, quietly padding towards the sidelines of the gym. She watched her lover. His time spent as a prisoner had not dampened his reflexes at all. She mused that, although he did not look at her, he must know she was now in the room----his hyper-senses would give him that much. She had no wish to disturb him and wanted him to be able to finish his workout in peace.

Standing there on the sidelines, Storm's emotional state was taken back to the day on the Paradise planet when she had first asked Logan to become her lover. She had felt such fear and nervousness that her invitation would be soundly rejected. `Things turned out well then,' Ororo told herself. `Perhaps again today they will too. Perhaps there is no reason for me to again feel such nervousness.'

Wolverine completed his training session, sweat trickling down his face. As always, he had easily defeated his simulated enemies. He radiated pride. Wolverine strode towards the locker room, which meant he would have to pass Storm.

"Logan," Storm said, stepping towards him.

Wolverine returned her smile. "Good to see you again, darlin.' Thanks for the rescue."

"My pleasure," Storm said, stumbling over the awkward words. "We were all greatly worried over you and the others. And we are so amazed and delighted that Banshee is alive. I have never seen Moira looking so shocked or so happy." Storm realized she was perhaps beginning to ramble, something she rarely did. She tried to focus her words. "I, especially, am glad that you are safe." Her voice took on a more intense tone, "I-I missed you, Logan."

Storm looked at Wolverine's face and felt her heart drop. She observed the look in his eyes and it was more what she **did not** see than what she did. "I missed you too," he said, but said it the way he might say it to Rogue or to Hank. "Can't wait to get back to An'zhina. I hope Jean and the others are alright."

Storm forced a smile and nodded. There was all the information she needed. She was glad that she had not said any more. "Yes, I do too. I'm sure Jean misses Scott very much."

Wolverine turned his glance towards the locker room. "I'll catch you later, darlin.' If you want me tonight, just stop by my room."

"I may very well take you up on your offer," she replied, though with less enthusiasm than usual. Storm then turned her head and watched him head off to the locker room.

For the first time in months now, Charles Xavier's breakfast was not spent eating one on one with Moira. Instead, he ate in the mess hall with everyone else. It was hard to say which hurt worse----the absence of his morning ritual with Moira or the fact that he knew she did not miss it. All she could think about was Sean and the fact that they were united again.

During lunch, Charles kept quiet as he observed Moira and Sean eating together.

Getting ready for bed that evening, he sighed to himself. `Perhaps this sort of love has never been in the works for me. How foolish it was of me to hope for it.' He nodded though there was no one in his room to see the gesture. `Much better that I turn my attentions to mutantkind. We desperately need to free more of them. We need a long term strategy to change public opinion and defeat Friends of Humanity, so that one day mutants and humans can live together in peace on earth.'

As the X-men's ships passed by earth on the way back to Endaria, the Professor took the time to probe the mind of General Thompson, the FOH official who had been brought on board earlier. He learned that FOH had recently been in the receipt of a disconcerting----well, disconcerting to the FOH----memo from the Cetarians.

Parts of the communication from the Cetarians translated into such sentences, "Effective immediately, the inhabitants of Ceti III are terminating all relationships and negotiations with the earth organization The Friends of Humanity…..The `X-men' you sold to us brought nothing but disruption…..Over 200 slaves escaped that day….." The Friends of Humanity and the Cetians had negotiating for the sale of mutant women as sex slaves, but those plans were now halted too.

Thompson flew into a rage when he received that memo. One of his subordinates calmed him down by reminding him that the Friends of Humanity was still an immensely powerful organization on earth. "Maybe we were wrong to try to expand into space," the FOH member said to Thompson. "We still control earth. We still have 9 Mutant Containment Centers operating, 3 more in the works, a budget of billions, most of the people of earth supporting us, and no X-men on earth to oppose us…"

"You're right," Thompson said. "And we beat back the X-men last time they came to earth. We'll beat them next time they show their evil faces here too."

Chapter 20

Epilogue 


	22. Epilogue

Leigh's Fanfiction Archive Stormkeeper's Fanfiction Friends Of Humanity Epilogue

Friends of Humanity

by Stormkeeper

Epilogue

And so we continued on, back to our home on An'zhina. Jean-Paul and his other Alpha Flight teammates were very eager to see it. I described it best as I could. "A paradise!" Silver Moon had exclaimed. "A sanctuary for us," Jeanne-Marie had said.

One evening, Jean-Paul and I sat together on the bridge, watching the stars zoom by as we headed for our future. We were happy. All of the X-men, even Wolverine, had agreed to spend some amount of time "vacationing" on An'zhina before we would return to earth for our next mission.

"I wonder if the Guiness Book of World Records is still being published," I mused. Jean-Paul and I were sitting next to each other, holding hands.

He turned his head and looked at me. "Why?"

"Because I think you and I qualify for a new category. Out of all the gay couples in history, we've gone the longest without having sex!"

He smiled and reached with his hand to tweak my nose. "I told you, mon ami. I do want you. But we need to wait. I need my time to get over Phillippe and respect his memory."

"I know, I know." I stopped there. He'd gotten upset the last time I had tried to coax him. And truly, I did understand his reasons for waiting. I still didn't have to like it though. : )

Later that evening, Jean-Paul gave me a quick kiss, and then departed for one of the meeting rooms. He and his sister were teaching young Stephan the French language. Stephan was a handful. The boy was no happier to be with us than he had been before, but the twins were trying.

So I sat on the bridge alone. I didn't mind being by myself. I actually quite enjoyed the chance to reflect. Looking at all those stars going by has a way of making your mind race, of spurring you on to thoughts of the future as well as reviewing the past. I thought of the last two years of my life, remembering everything I had been through and all the ways I had changed. I was a different person than the man Hank had traveled to San Francisco to see and had been forced to spend three hours attempting to convince to re-join the X-men. Back then, I had nothing. Now I had a family.

I have learned that people can survive absolutely horrible things and get through it. I had only to look at Jubilee----or Psylocke or Jeanne-Marie, both of whom had been doing much better lately by the way----to see proof of that. I've also learned that family is what you make of it, not what you're born with. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger and tougher than I ever thought I was.

Once I was done thinking about the past, my thoughts turned towards the future. What would it bring? Would we ever topple the Friends of Humanity and re-settle on earth? Or was the idea of humans and mutants getting along just a pipe dream? Perhaps An'zhina was truly going to be our home for the rest of our lives. I found that the uncertainty didn't bother me. Whatever future was in store for me, I hoped it would involve spending time with Hank and Panda, and Jubilee and Aurora, and Jean-Paul, and Wolverine and Storm, Rogue and Remy and all the other people I loved.

The End

A Final Thank-you from the Author 

At long last, we've come to the end of this fanfic. I want to again extend a big thank you to everyone who has written to me to let me know that they enjoyed it, and everyone who has posted a review on fanfiction.net or on one of the X-men lists. Over 110 different people have contacted me to let me know they liked my work----needless to say, that is music to an author's ears. I save, print, and treasure all of your feedback.

May I ask one more thing of everyone who's been reading the fanfic? Can you write me and tell me two things: 1. What was your favorite part of the story? (This can be your favorite scene or what in general you liked about it) and 2. What would you would have done differently? Is there anything in general you didn't care for? This will help me a lot as a writer.

For months, this story has been my passion. Although I feel proud of it, I also feel a lot of sadness at having to end it. I began the story with only the first two chapters in mind, and everything else from that point on just kind of came to me.

I have good news for anyone who's been enjoying this story----I have already begun working on the sequel! I really like this AU I've created and don't want to leave it. I think a lot more can be done with it, too. So please keep your eye on fanfiction.net or the X-men groups at Yahoo/egroups----I hope to be able to post the first chapter in a few weeks.

A few special thank-yous are in order:

Ann, thank you for always being the Hank to my Bobby. `Nuff said. : ) 

Leigh, I've really enjoyed getting to know you and bonding with you over our months of beta testing. Your writing is incredible! I think we'll keep on writing to each other too. 

Nadja, keep on writing! 

Thanks again everyone.

Stormkpr (AKA Marianne)

(May 18 2001, Chicago, Illinois)

Chapter 21

Top 10 


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